New loneliness study shows that people care about you more than you think

A new study published by the American Psychological Association is revealing more about how loneliness affects our brains. Published in the Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, Dr. Edward Lemay Jr. of the University of Maryland and his colleagues decided to test previous research that indicated that loneliness increases negative biases in social perception and heightens a person’s social sensitivity.

The hypothesis was that lonely individuals would hold onto negative biases and perceptions towards their closest friends, family, and partners. These negative biases doubting and questioning a loved one’s responsiveness and care would explain why loneliness can feel like a persistent cycle since it further reduces relationship satisfaction and intimacy. In short, it would explain why some lonely folks feel lonelier and lonelier over time.

Your lonely feelings are real, but your isolation might not be.Photo credit: Canva

Lemay and his team tested this theory with three different studies. The first one included 255 undergrad students who identified three close relationship partners including family, friends, and romantic partners. The participants would self-report their levels of loneliness and answer questionnaires designed to measure their perceptions of each relationship partner’s regard, responsiveness, and communal motivation. Meanwhile, the relationship partners named in the study would self-evaluate their regard and care of the participant.

The second study was focused on 236 romantic couples who completed similar self-reports while also including two friends who were familiar with their relationship providing their independent assessment of each partner in the relationship. The third study had observers track 211 romantic couples, recording their daily interactions along with taking each partner’s self-assessment of the relationship within a two-week period.

All three studies ended with indications that loneliness was linked to negative bias towards care and regard displayed by the people they were closest to. In the first study, lonely participants underestimated how much their relationship partners cared about them, with data showing discrepancies between the participants’ reports and the reports from their family, friends, and romantic partners. In the second study, loneliness predicted lower perceptions of partner regard and care in romantic relationships when compared against partner self-reports and friend informant reports. The third study? Lonely individuals underestimated their partners’ responsiveness, in spite of when their third-party observers rated the partners as supportive.

People who felt lonely in the study underestimated the care their loved ones felt for them.Photo credit: Canva

So all of that means that while the feeling of loneliness is real, the perception of it might be greater than reality. However, if you have experienced loneliness you know how hard it can be to tell yourself that people around you actually do care about you. But the truth is that even if you are truly lonely, scientifically speaking, you’re probably not as isolated as you perceive yourself to be. Loneliness itself is hard on a person, increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and depression among other physical health issues.

So what can be done to combat loneliness? Well, that’s when effort needs to be put in. Reach out to your loved ones, as that they likely care more than you believe. Be honest with them about how you feel and let them know what they could do to help you feel better.

Being candid about your loneliness with your friends and family could help you get out of the pit.Photo credit: Canva

You should also do your best to interact with others more, whether it's outside in the public or online. Take a class in something you enjoy to learn more about it around other people who share your interest. Even if you still get that lonely feeling, you will have learned something. Get involved in volunteering. If you still feel lonely, you’ll still feel good about helping those around you. Your loneliness might not magically, instantly disappear doing such social activities but it should wear down over time. If you are still struggling, there are professionals near you that can help you combat it, too.

Oddly, when it comes to fighting loneliness, we’re all in this together.