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Toddler carries a dead cicada everywhere she goes—even to the dentist—and it's so sweet

This is the stuff you simply can't prepare for as a parent.

toddler carrying around a dead cicada
Image credit: Izzy Wherry/Instagram

It's not every day you see an emotional support cicada.

There are few things in this world more delightful than a child's imagination. Once in a while, we get a clear glimpse into that world when a kid does something that makes us scratch our heads and smile ear to ear in equal measure.

For instance, when a toddler finds a dead cicada and adopts it as a beloved companion.

Mom Izzy Wherry has been sharing her 2-year-old daughter's adventures and escapades with a cicada corpse that are hilariously endearing. The little one found a dead cicada in the family's yard, and for an entire month has been bringing him along with her everywhere she goes. He gets baths, he gets swung on the swing, he has his own remote office outside where he types on his little computer keyboard, and more.

He goes to the park, he's gone on a camping trip, and he even went to the dentist, where he lay next to Wherry's daughter on the dentist's chair as if he were an actual emotional support pet.

People are celebrating the girl's creative and compassionate care for her formerly-living friend as well as the cicada getting to live his best afterlife.

"He's lived a full life since he died 😂"

"Would you still love me if I was a dead cicada?"

"It's going to be the ring bearer on her wedding day."

"If he only knew how loved he is. 😂"

Many people expressed how beautiful it is to see a child just being a quintessential child. Some parents would never let their child carry a bug carcass around like this, but it's clear that this lone, dead cicada means something to this kiddo. Cicadas are loud (when they're alive), large and tough (the fact that he hasn't fallen apart yet is a testament to that), but it's notable that she's so careful and gentle in the way she handles him. Wherry confirmed that her daughter knows that the cicada is actually dead, but she still uses her imagination to bring him to life, which is both hilarious and sweet.

"I absolutely love her imagination and creativity!!!🩷😍😇"

"This so sweet and so innocent. Almost a shame they have to grow up."

"This is sooooo precious i love when parents let their kids be unapologetically kids ❤️"

"My daughter littered our home with rollie pollies and named them all MR. She collected rocks as well in all of her pockets. Wash day was a bit crazy 😂"

"My daughter found a dead ladybug and she made her a jacuzzi from a walnut shell...with saliva..."

"iPad kid ❌ playing with corpses ✅ maybe there is hope for the new generation."

in a world where parents are constantly battling television and tablets and other screen-based technologies, it's lovely to see a child engaging natural play inspired by the outdoors. Carrying around a dead cicada may not have been what her parents had in mind when they took their kiddo outside, but that's the beauty of children engaging with the natural world—you just never know what they're going to discover, create, collect or become attached to. Seeing a child's imagination in action is a fleeting privilege, and to capture and share it with others is a wonderful gift. Thanks to this family and the dead cicada for letting us into a little one's world for a while.

You can follow Izzy Wherry and her daughter's cicada adventures on Instagram.

kids
Music

5-year-old Italian piano prodigy rocks Mozart at international competition and holy cow

Alberto has already won multiple international competitions.

Pianoforte/Facebook

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs couldn't even reach the pedals, but that didn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy in 2022. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.

Alberto first started playing in 2020 in the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. Italy was one of the first countries to experience a serious lockdown, and Alberto's mother used the opportunity to start teaching her son to play piano. Alessia Cingolani and her husband Simone Cartuccia are both music conservatory graduates, and mom Alessia told Italian entertainment website Contrataque that she and her husband recognized Alberto's talent immediately.

She said that although Alberto spends a lot of time at the piano, he also has plenty of time for school and play and television, like a normal kid.

There's genuinely nothing "normal" about this kid's piano playing, though. Watch:

Wow, right? There are countless adults who took years of piano lessons and never got to that level of playing. It's like he's channeling Amadeus himself.

According to Corriere Adriatico, by the time he was 4 1/2 years old, Alberto had participated in seven national and international online competitions and won first place in all of them. His mother told the outlet that he started out practicing for about 10 minutes a day and gradually increased to three hours.

"He has a remarkable flair for the piano," she said. Um, yeah. Clearly.

Some commenters expressed some concern for the boy based on his seriousness and what looks like dark circles under his eyes in the video, but if you check out other videos of Alberto playing at home, he is more relaxed. Most of his playing and competition entries have been done online, so performing for a crowd is probably new for him. And in interviews, his mother has made it clear that they prioritize normal childhood activities.

Some children are just genuine prodigies, and Alberto certainly seems to fit that bill. Can't wait to see what kind of musical future awaits this kid.


This article originally appeared on 5.4.22

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Mom uses a brilliantly simple, one-word switch while teaching her daughter about makeup

Imagine if all daughters were taught to think of makeup this way.

@maggiekatz/TikTok

One simple change can make all the difference.

Makeup is an incredibly fun form of self-expression. At the same time, it’s deeply enmeshed with the problematic beauty standards that rob women of their self-worth. Many grown women have a rather complicated relationship with it, so it’s no wonder that they might have a hard time knowing exactly how to have a conversation about it with their own daughters.

But one mom has a pretty awesome solution for teaching her child about makeup in a healthy way, and it all comes down to a simple word switch.

In a video posted to her TikTok, Maggie Katz has a pretty adorable exchange with her daughter in front of the bathroom mirror as they put on makeup together.

As they do, Katz tells her daughter “You look so fancy.”

Note the word “pretty” is not mentioned here.

Katz continues, “And why do we do makeup? Because it’s fun and we get to look fancy. But are we pretty no matter what,” to which her daughter enthusiastically agrees.

And that’s it—that’s the entire video. But it’s so easy to see what a profound mindset shift this language tweak makes. Imagine if all of us had been taught to view makeup as something that merely adorns or elaborate on what’s already there, rather than fixing unlovable flaws.


@maggiekatz The words we hear growing up have an impact :heart: #makeup #momsoftiktok #raisingdaughters #fancy ♬ original sound - Maggie Katz


“I needed this as a kid,” one person shared. Another wrote, “This lady on here fixing all the little people inside of us.”

So many people chimed in to praise Katz’s idea, saying that they would be following her lead.

“THANK YOU!,” one person wrote. “I put on makeup occasionally for super special events and I’ve struggled with how to explain it besides saying it’s fun to be artistic sometimes. I’ll be using this.”

Another echoed, "I will be teaching my daughters this way now.”

Others shared how they too have incorporated different phrases like “glamorous” or “fun” rather than “pretty” when teaching their daughters about makeup—or just thinking about it for themselves.

And for what it’s worth, Katz believes in boys feeling fancy with makeup, too. In a comment she wrote, “I have a son too (he's a few years older) and it definitely works with him too. I've worked to remind him that we can all find beauty everywhere we look and that everyone is special in their own way.”

The conversation struck up by Katz’s video is just one way our collective mindset towards makeup has seemed to shift for the better. Yes, we hear tales of Sephora kids being prematurely fixated on anti-aging, but maybe that’s only one part of the picture. After all, we also see celebrities going more bare faced, as well as more people advocating to do away with overly photoshopped ads for beauty products.

Speaking of ads—it’s interesting to note that for years makeup was sold to women as something they needed in order to feel beautiful/worthy/acceptable/etc. But then Gen Z came into the scene, with their fun eyeliner shapes and crazy color combinations just for the hell of it, and now makeup has become more of an art form than a clutch. And makeup sales are more booming than ever. Companies take note: you don’t have to disempower people to push products. Just saying.

Whether you’re a bona fide glambot or prefer to save the eyeliner for special occasions, may this be a reminder to you (and any little ones you’re trying to uplift) that you’re perfect exactly as you are.

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Mom recalls the uncomfortable moment an older man complimented her 6-year-old's appearance

When she didn't say "thank you," he accused her of having bad manners.

@yourejustliz/TikTok

“Nice is different than kind."

It might have been pretty universally accepted during our childhood for daughters to be expected to reciprocate affection from adults, whether they liked it or not. A non consensual kiss to grandparents here, a forced “thank you” there. But times have changed.

However, this change in parenting style can sometimes make for some, well, awkward or even downright uncomfortable situations as moms and dads try to advocate for this kid’s autonomy.

Recently, a mom named Liz Kindred detailed just such an incident with her six year old daughter, which has a whole lotta other parents discussing how to navigate these unideal interactions.

As she recalls in a video posted to TikTok, Kindred was waiting in line with her daughter when a grown man turned around and said “My goodness, you sure are pretty” to the child.

“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she's an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight,” Kindred said.

Doubling down, the man repeated himself, saying “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes,” which only made her shy daughter grab her leg harder.

Noting that being in a 12 step program has taught her to be less “knee jerk reactionary,” the mom bit her tongue and offered a polite smile to the man, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t.


@yourejustliz I need to get my brows done
♬ Succession (Theme Song) - The Theme System


“He's a boomer and, God love him, he said, ‘I guess your mom didn't teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [chuckle], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she said.

In what she called the most ”Jesus loving way” she could muster, while still bluntly making her point, Kindred told the man "If you assume that I didn't teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct."

What followed was the “longest silence” of Kindred’s life.

The video, which has been viewed over 6 million times now, prompted a ton of parents to share how their own kids have established boundaries in similar situations—with their support, of course.

“An old man called my 4 yr old daughter a sweetheart at the store…she boldly responded ‘I am NOT YOUR sweetheart!’ I was so proud,” on person recalled.

Another added, “My 3 year old says ‘NO THANK YOU MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE TAHT.’”

Still another said “My 2 yo knows the boundaries song and just starts singing that anytime someone talks to her.”

While the response to Kindred’s video was overwhelmingly positive, there were a few comments defending the man as simply being “kind.” This prompted Kindred to do a follow-up video doubling down on her decision.

In the clip, she shared how she herself has dealt with seemingly innocent compliments in her life from men, which later turned into something else. Feeling like she “didn’t have a voice” to say something, “because I’m a nice Christian, Southern girl,” Kindred ended up being in unsavory situations (she didn't explicitly say what those situations were, but it's easy enough to piece together). She doesn’t want her daughter to have the same issues.


@yourejustliz #stitch with @Liz Kindred ♬ Succession (Theme Song) - The Theme System

“Nice is different than kind. The kind thing to do is to teach our daughters and our children in this next generation that when you are uncomfortable with something you listen to your body and you set a firm boundary with that and you provide language around that. And you start that really really young.”

Yep. Well said.


This article originally appeared on 8.8.24

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Your 7-year-old is questioning the meaning of life. Now what?

Existential intelligence in kids is a good thing. Here's how to manage it.

Vitolda Klein & NASA/Unsplash

The meaning of life is a big question for all of us.

I put my parents through existential hell when I was a kid.

Even at just 7 or 8 years old, I didn't see the point in anything, and it left me defeated.

What, I just go to school, come home, do homework, go to bed, and then get up and do it all over again? What are even doing here?!

It must have frustrated them to no end. Looking back, of course they didn't have the answers! None of us do! It couldn't have been easy trying to explain that to a child who just wouldn't let it go.

A recent Reddit thread on r/Daddit made me realize I wasn't the only kid who had these big, philosophical thoughts.

A dad posted: "I was putting my 7 y.o to bed when he asked if it's weekend tomorrow. I said yes, then he asked 'and then it's school again?', then painstakingly said 'and then we do it all over again'. My boy has just realised what life is."

Dozens of other parents chimed in on the thread to share that their kids, too, had at some point become aware of the drudgery of daily life.

"On the school run earlier this week my son realised he'll have to work one day like mummy and daddy. Shortly followed by the words 'and then I'll be tired'", wrote one.

"My 8yo daughter asked me what the point of life is if all we do is slave away to pay taxes," said another.

And here's a brutal one for you:

"When my daughter was four she stood on the 10th step of our staircase and decided it was time for her to take her first flight. I told her that was not gonna happen and she was about to really hurt herself. She asked what age she'd finally be ready to fly. I told her never. People don't fly. She teared up and asked 'what's the point of life then??'."

When kids start questioning life, existence, and the universe, it's called Existential Intelligence. Believe it or not, it's a good thing.

space and the cosmosNASA/Unsplash

Existential Intelligence refers to an ability to see the big picture.

So often we're focused on more tangible skills like math, reading comprehension, language skills and memorization in kids.

But some kids just seem to have a knack for seeing the whole forest, so to speak. And that can lead them to ask big questions. According to MentalUp, common questions from kids who excel in this kind of thinking are:

  • Where did we come from?
  • Where do you go when you die?
  • Why are there numbers?
  • What are our lives for? / Why are we here?
That's just the kind of topic every parent loves to discuss right before bedtime!

(If you've ever had to explain the concept of death to your kids, you know it's not a whole lot of fun.)

Even though it might be frustrating to be put on the spot with questions you can't answer as a parent, Existential intelligence in kids is a good sign. It means they're curious, empathetic, and want to know they 'why' behind what they do and what they're asked to do. They're good at connecting skills they're learning in school to the real world (and they might struggle if they can't figure out why they'll ever need to know the names of all the generals in the Revolutionary War).

These kids may make great leaders, great communicators, and talented artists as they become older.

But in the meantime...

How to handle your kids' big questions about life and the universe

Billions of starsNASA Hubble Space Telescope/Unsplash

I asked Dr. Ryan Sultan, a child board-certified psychiatrist and professor at Columbia University, for some tips on how parents can handle kids with high Existential Intelligence.

What do you do if they get really bummed out about the disappointing realities of life? How do you explain the meaning of existence to them when you haven't figured it out for yourself yet?

"[Existential intelligence] can be a beautiful quality in kids, but it can also bring challenges—especially when they start to feel a sense of futility in everyday routines or even feel disheartened by the seemingly endless cycle of school, homework, and activities," he says.

Step one is to validate their feelings, and avoid dismissing or trying to distract them.

"Many kids, particularly those who think deeply, go through phases where they wonder if life is just a series of monotonous routines. Let them know that adults also grapple with these questions—and that it’s okay to feel uncertain or even bummed out by it."

Next, instead of giving them the answers you don't have, try asking questions.

"Encourage them to explore what these feelings mean to them. Ask questions like, 'What do you think would make life more interesting or meaningful?' or 'What are the things you enjoy that make you feel alive or excited?'"

Help them understand that these are questions they'll be asking themselves their whole lives. It's not so much about having the answer right away, but seeing life as a lifelong journey of learning and curiosity.

Help them find meaning in art, nature, community, or spirituality.

"For some children, creative outlets like art, music, writing, or even spending time in nature can be powerful ways to explore and express these feelings," Dr. Sultan says. "Others might find meaning through spiritual practices, like meditation or mindfulness, which can help them feel more connected to the present and less burdened by the future."

Helping them give back by getting involved in the community or with a charity can make a big difference too. And if you can model the ways in which you find meaning amidst the daily drudgery, that's even better!

It's a good thing when your kids ask these kinds of questions, even though they're hard (or impossible) to answer. It means your children are empathetic, curious, and want to know more about how the world works. The most important thing is not to reframe everything positively and try to "cheer them" out of it if these philosophical quandaries put them in a funk. It's OK to get a little down because you're not sure what the greater purpose is — we've all been there. That just means they're human. Encourage them to get a little more comfortable with the not knowing, and to never lose that sense of curiosity.

parenting
Education

Why didn't people smile in old photographs? It wasn't just about the long exposure times.

People blame these serious expressions on how long they had to sit for a photo, but that's not the whole picture.

Public domain images

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.

1800s photographsWhy so serious? Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain

In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

wedding party photoEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons

Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

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