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Joy

Entering your 30s? Fear not, here are 14 bits of wisdom that are actually useful.

Advice for when you're old enough to know better, but young enough to do it anyway.

turning 30, advice for 30 year olds

Welcome to the fourth decade.

Turning 30 marks the beginning of pure adulthood. Gone are the days making the same questionable choices from our 20s, and our stupid teenage years are even more a relic of the past. This is the time when Mother Nature says, “I’m not joking around, it’s time to take some things seriously. Like, for real.”

As friend groups shrink and waistlines expand, not to mention as careers or lifestyles go through major changes, the fourth decade can feel a bit overwhelming. Especially as there's still the misconception that somehow, as if by magic, you’ll have everything figured out by that 30th birthday. And if it hasn’t, then it’s too late. Talk about pressure.

In truth, we’re always just figuring things out and we move along. Thirties are no different. But it does help to traverse this new territory with knowledge. Luckily, the internet is a great place to crowdsource that sort of thing.

A Reddit user (perhaps a brave 29-year-old) recently asked the online forum, “What is your advice for somebody entering their 30s?

People gave some amazing answers. Unsurprisingly, health (of all kinds) was a popular topic. But there were also a lot of unexpected gems, particularly when it comes to dealing with the “hard stuff.” Our 30s might be challenging, but with them come their own special rewards.

Check out these 14 bits of wisdom. Even if you’re well into your 30s—or beyond them—they offer some valuable reminders.


1.

Life is not over. Not married yet & want to be??? Still time to find a decent partner, & your experience & maturity can help.” – @Bakanasharkyblahaj

2.

“Friends will make kids and settle down - make sure to visit them and don't shy away from playdates and birthday parties.” – @theteenyemperor

3.

You should have started planning for your 50's about 5 years ago. Get to it. And by planning, I don't mean just retirement. Obviously retirement, but also getting to know yourself and what you want to do with your life. You have to be honest with yourself, find out what ACTUALLY matters for you, and start working towards that. Get rid of the dumb notions you had when you were a teenager. Find your balance between spiritual and material things. Not talking about religion, but social connections, feelings, experiences. Friends and family are important, as is material comfort.” – @robervalladraodeChoc

4.

Don’t worry if you haven’t achieved your life goals or decided what career you want by now, it’ll come soon. I didn’t start Uni (nursing school) until my early 30’s. Spent a few years traveling the world first.” – @I-stop-pucks

5.

Hate to be the one to bring this up, but start mentally preparing for the inevitable major loss events that will soon begin to accumulate in your life. If you don't have a healthy perspective regarding death, start working on that asap. See a therapist if necessary. Losing your parents is the first big one for most.” – @Captainmikkl

6.

If your friend group hasn't already got smaller, be ready for it to. Don't take it personally. Some people just don't have the energy to hang out as much as they used to and others are entering different phases of their life like moving, different careers, or even procreating for some reason.” – @Drrodeze

7.

If you keep it up in another ten years you can do the 40s.” – @Theymakemewearpants

8.

Stretch. Moisturize. Start accumulating cash.” – @Sea-type694

9.


If you have unresolved issues or find yourself ruminating over shit that happened years ago, go and see a therapist.” – @noodlefishmonkey

10.

Enjoy. When I turned 30 I became confident enough to stop auditioning what I wanted to say in my head first in case it sounded stupid and just say it. Life became a lot more fun.” – @Markedmo

11.

“Take care of your teeth. By the time you're in your 30s tooth decay starts to be a problem. Brush and floss regularly. Go to a dentist twice a year. Keep on top of this. It’s easier to fix tooth decay problems early on, before they become a crisis.” – @Hyndis

12.

"Have fun! Too many people treat their 30s like their lives are over, but in reality, they can be a lot like your 20s - just with more money and experience, and ideally less worrying about what others think of you. Pandemic aside I've loved my 30s so far (38 now). Never had more fun." – @Zenstation83

13.

"Start taking care of yourself and make it a habit. Getting to your late 30s and realising you are putting on weight, have a sore back and can't run 100 feet without getting out of breath sucks. If you work an office job, just make the gym a regular routine and make sure you stretch." – @Devrij68

14.

"Things get harder as they get easier. But you're in a position to handle it and you have the experience and knowledge to keep going where this happening to you in your twenties would have been catastrophic. You'll spend these years finding what makes you happy, realizing you've been chasing probably the wrong thing. Be ready to pivot, restart, readjust, and be open and communicating with those in your life as you go through your joys and challenges. This is a transformative decade." – @Orbax

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

It's not everyday that a video of a local school board meeting ends up with 2.2 million views. In fact, we're not sure it's ever happened before.

If you need proof standardized testing is setting students up for failure, just ask the students. Sydney Smoot had a bone to pick with the Hernando County School Board. The issue? The Florida Standards Assessment Test, or FSA for short. On March 17, 2015, Sydney bravely stood up at her local school board meeting to share how she felt about the test and why she believes it's failing students and teachers.

"This testing looks at me as a number. One test defines me as either a failure or a success through a numbered rubric. One test at the end of the year that the teacher or myself will not even see the grade until after the school year is already over. I do not feel that all this FSA testing is accurate to tell how successful I am. It doesn't take in account all of my knowledge and abilities, just a small percentage." — Sydney Smoot

Can we give this little girl a medal? She was speaking right to our souls with that speech!


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Here's the full transcript of her remarks:

“Fellow members of the school board, today I will express my concerns about the FSA testing. I consider myself a well-educated young lady. However, with FSA tests my five years of school… do not matter. This testing looks at me as a number. One test defines me as either a failure or a success through a numbered rubric. One test at the end of the year that the teacher or myself will not see the grade [for] until after the school year is already over.

I do not feel that all of this FSA testing is accurate to tell how successful I am. It doesn’t take into account all of my knowledge and abilities, just a small percentage. Here are my concerns. First of all, I do not feel good signing a form in the FSA ensuring that you can’t even discuss the test with your parents. I am not comfortable signing something like this I have the right to talk to my parents about any and everything related to school and my education. Second, why am I being forced to take a test that hasn’t even been testing on students here in Florida, so how can it be accurate and valid on what I know? Why are we taking most of the year stressing and prepping for one test at the end of the year when we should be taking tests throughout the year that really measure our abilities?

My opinion is that we should take a test at the beginning of the year, middle, and end of the school year to accurately measure what we know. The pressure this puts on me and I’m sure most students is not healthy. Why should we have so much stress about one test when we should be learning and having fun in school? With all of this testing in school, more fun things such as recess are being eliminated because of training for the test! So, ladies and gentlemen of the school board, I urge you to put a stop to high-stakes testing today. It’s not fair to the schools, teachers, and students. Parents and students, contact your governor to put a stop to all the standardized testing. Thank you so much for your time.”


standardized tests, school, education, K-12, Ron DeSantis, FloridaA frustrated student sits at their deskImage via Canva


Since the FSA was first implemented, it came under intense criticism. Critics said it takes critical funds away from students and does not do as good of a job as national testing standards in helping to prepare young students for higher education or careers after their K-12 school is complete. In 2022, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis officially did away with the FSA program. "Today we come, not to praise the FSA, but to bury it," DeSantis said at the time.

The FSA was replaced with a progress monitoring system that was meant to reduce testing times and give students more updated progress goals as their education continues throughout the academic year.

"Instead of having one major test at the end of the year which provided no feedback to students before the summer came, we would do progress monitoring that would monitor progress throughout the school year," DeSantis added. "It would be shorter, it would be more individualized, and it would provide good feedback for students, for teachers, and for parents."

That's the kind of statement a young Sydney Smoot could get behind. And it's why her words still so powerfully resonate nearly a decade later.

This article originally appeared 10 years ago. It has since been updated with new information.



Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

UCI doctoral candidate Mya Le Thai has developed a nanowire-based technology that allows lithium-ion batteries to be recharged hundreds of thousands of times.

There's an old saying that luck happens when preparation meets opportunity.

There's no better example of that than a 2016 discovery at the University of California, Irvine, by doctoral student Mya Le Thai. After playing around in the lab, she made a discovery that could lead to a rechargeable battery that could last up to 400 years. That means longer-lasting laptops and smartphones and fewer lithium ion batteries piling up in landfills.

A team of researchers at UCI had been experimenting with nanowires for potential use in batteries, but found that over time the thin, fragile wires would break down and crack after too many charging cycles. A charge cycle is when a battery goes from completely full to completely empty and back to full again.

But one day, on a whim, Thai coated a set of gold nanowires in manganese dioxide and a Plexiglas-like electrolyte gel.

batteries, renewable energy, energy, renewable batteries, rechargeable batteries, innovationBatteries being recycled at WRWA, London. Nov ‘21Photo by John Cameron on Unsplash

"She started to cycle these gel capacitors, and that's when we got the surprise," said Reginald Penner, chair of the university's chemistry department. "She said, 'this thing has been cycling 10,000 cycles and it's still going.' She came back a few days later and said 'it's been cycling for 30,000 cycles.' That kept going on for a month."

This discovery is mind-blowing because the average laptop battery lasts 300 to 500 charge cycles. The nanobattery developed at UCI made it though 200,000 cycles in three months. That would extend the life of the average laptop battery by about 400 years. The rest of the device would have probably gone kaput decades before the battery, but the implications for a battery that that lasts hundreds of years are pretty startling.

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“Mya was playing around, and she coated this whole thing with a very thin gel layer and started to cycle it,” said Penner added. “She discovered that just by using this gel, she could cycle it hundreds of thousands of times without losing any capacity.”

“That was crazy,” he added, “because these things typically die in dramatic fashion after 5,000 or 6,000 or 7,000 cycles at most. ”"The big picture is that there may be a very simple way to stabilize nanowires of the type that we studied," Penner said. "If this turns out to be generally true, it would be a great advance for the community." Not bad for just fooling around in the laboratory.

Since her discovery, Mya Le Thai has gone on to a successful career as the Principal Scientist with the Enevate Corporation,

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Fatherhood

Anthony Mackie explains his refreshingly old-school approach to raising his boys to be men

"In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male."

@thepivot/TikTok

Anthony Mackie explains how he raises his boys to become men.

While on an episode of The Pivot podcast, Marvel star and father to four sons Anthony Mackie recently took a strong stance regarding masculinity, saying: "In the past 20 years, we've been living through the death of the American male…but I raised my boys to become young men.”

While that sentence might at first seem like we’re heading into some cringey “alpha male” territory, the Captain America: Brave New World actor also elaborated on the values he instills in sons, like being respectful, having humility, saying “yes sir” or “yes ma'am” and “thank you,” opening the door for women, making sure their mother is "taken care of and provided for.”

Mackie then provided an example, saying that before leaving for a job, he would make his 15-year-old son the “man of the house,” with the responsibility of making sure the doors were locked and the alarm was on. Because, as Mackie put it, “if I’m not there to protect, he gotta be there to protect.”

This sentiment reflects a broader shift that many parents are experiencing. While there are certainly many praises to sing about modern practices like gentle parenting, many people are also longing for a return of some “traditional” approaches that are equally beneficial, particularly when it comes to setting helpful boundaries and teaching manners.

As one viewer put it, “That’s called structure, responsibility, accountability, and direction.”

But there’s also Mackie’s take on masculinity itself—involving caring for and protecting others, showing up for responsibilities, and embodying true leadership—which people are positively responding to.

leadership, raising sons, fathers and sons, young menMasculinity doesn't have to be toxic. Photo credit: Canva

Mackie's take t seems to touch on admirable traits that can go unnoticed by both far left progressives, who wave the flag of “toxic masculinity” (and thus alienate half the population), and the right wing "manfluencers" like Andrew Tate who offer a place for men to be welcomed while promoting actual toxic traits like misogyny, narcissism, and domination.

“That’s not the masculinity that needs to die. More fathers need to teach this,” one person wrote about Mackie's take.

Another echoed, “What a beautiful way to articulate being a man.”

As another viewer noted, parents can of course teach boys these traits while also teaching “emotional intelligence too—vulnerability, honesty, empathy, care. Then the boys will be golden.”

And just as we can incorporate both new and old parenting styles, we can also integrate some nuance in the way we talk about masculinity. Our conversations surrounding gender roles are constantly in flux, and yet there's a bit of stuckness around this topic—what makes a “real” man, how to be a “good” man, and so on. Mackie’s take put to words what a lot of folks are feeling: that the good parts of masculinity are being erased along with the bad, and that if we really do want the next generation of men to be fully realized, we need to teach them what that looks like.

Watch the full podcast episode below:

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