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Self-aware, diagnosed narcissist uses TikTok to share insider view of how narcissists function

Lee Hammock is on a mission to help people who have been victimized by people like himself.

@mentalhealness/TikTok

Lee Hammock explains narcissism to help validate victims of narcissistic abuse.

Anyone who has found themselves in a relationship with a narcissist knows how confusing, disorienting or downright terrifying it can be.

There are conflicting statistics on what percent of the population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but it ranges anywhere from 1% to 6%. The average American knows 600 people, which means we all know at least a small handful of pathological narcissists personally.

But it's people who are in close relationships with narcissists who bear the brunt of their pathology. Whether you were raised by a narcissistic parent or fell in love with a narcissist, it's likely you've been abused by someone to feed their narcissistic needs.

NPD can be particularly challenging to treat because most narcissists will nor or cannot admit that anything is wrong with them. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that most narcissists are actually aware that they are narcissists, but rather than see it as a problem, they embrace it and take pride in it. (Of course.)

However, a self-aware narcissist can get help through psychotherapy, if they are willing to do it. Since most don't see the problem, many won't. But many or even most isn't all, and one man is on a mission to use his Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnosis for good.

Lee Hammock has been diagnosed with NPD and has been in psychotherapy for it since 2017. He calls himself a "self-aware" narcissist and uses social media—particularly TikTok—to share insider insights into a narcissist's brain. Hammock describes why he decided to share the ins and outs of his disorder:

"The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic abuse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone."

He explained how he ended up here:

Hammock's videos speak for themselves. There are tons of them, and they give amazing insight into a narcissist's perspective from the point of view of a narcissist who actually works to understand and manage his own disorder. Here's a sampling:

He even weighed in on the Kanye West situation, not diagnosing West with NPD, but explaining how his actions are right out of the narcissistic playbook.

Hammock has been honest about the fact that that making and sharing these videos and getting likes on them actually feeds his narcissistic ego, but it's a healthy turning of the tables on the disorder.

And it really is serving a need. If you read through the comments on Hammock's videos, the most common response is recognition. So many people have interacted with narcissists and see those interactions in these videos, which is both validating and relieving. People who have been victims of narcissistic abuse are not alone, and Hammock helps them see that. He even helps people who might be narcissists themselves maybe—maybe—become more self-aware that their personality disorder is something that needs management.

You can find Hammock's videos on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.

This article originally appeared on 3.23.22

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Family

Mom recalls the uncomfortable moment an older man complimented her 6-year-old's appearance

When she didn't say "thank you," he accused her of having bad manners.

@yourejustliz/TikTok

“Nice is different than kind."

It might have been pretty universally accepted during our childhood for daughters to be expected to reciprocate affection from adults, whether they liked it or not. A non consensual kiss to grandparents here, a forced “thank you” there. But times have changed.

However, this change in parenting style can sometimes make for some, well, awkward or even downright uncomfortable situations as moms and dads try to advocate for this kid’s autonomy.

Recently, a mom named Liz Kindred detailed just such an incident with her six year old daughter, which has a whole lotta other parents discussing how to navigate these unideal interactions.

As she recalls in a video posted to TikTok, Kindred was waiting in line with her daughter when a grown man turned around and said “My goodness, you sure are pretty” to the child.

“My six-year-old is gorgeous, yes, but she is also very in tune and perceptive, and she's an introvert so she grabbed my leg really tight,” Kindred said.

Doubling down, the man repeated himself, saying “You sure are pretty. Look at those blue eyes,” which only made her shy daughter grab her leg harder.

Noting that being in a 12 step program has taught her to be less “knee jerk reactionary,” the mom bit her tongue and offered a polite smile to the man, hoping that would be the end of it. It wasn’t.

“He's a boomer and, God love him, he said, ‘I guess your mom didn't teach you manners.’ And I let out an uncomfortable little [chuckle], and the pause was long. It was long. And under his breath he said, ‘Guess not,’” she said.

In what she called the most ”Jesus loving way” she could muster, while still bluntly making her point, Kindred told the man "If you assume that I didn't teach my six-year-old daughter to say ‘thank you’ to a grown, consenting man when he compliments her appearance, then you would be correct."

What followed was the “longest silence” of Kindred’s life.

The video, which has been viewed over 6 million times now, prompted a ton of parents to share how their own kids have established boundaries in similar situations—with their support, of course.

“An old man called my 4 yr old daughter a sweetheart at the store…she boldly responded ‘I am NOT YOUR sweetheart!’ I was so proud,” on person recalled.

Another added, “My 3 year old says ‘NO THANK YOU MY BODY DOESN’T LIKE TAHT.’”

Still another said “My 2 yo knows the boundaries song and just starts singing that anytime someone talks to her.”

While the response to Kindred’s video was overwhelmingly positive, there were a few comments defending the man as simply being “kind.” This prompted Kindred to do a follow-up video doubling down on her decision.

In the clip, she shared how she herself has dealt with seemingly innocent compliments in her life from men, which later turned into something else. Feeling like she “didn’t have a voice” to say something, “because I’m a nice Christian, Southern girl,” Kindred ended up being in unsavory situations (she didn't explicitly say what those situations were, but it's easy enough to piece together). She doesn’t want her daughter to have the same issues.

“Nice is different than kind. The kind thing to do is to teach our daughters and our children in this next generation that when you are uncomfortable with something you listen to your body and you set a firm boundary with that and you provide language around that. And you start that really really young.”

Yep. Well said.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Artist makes everyday spaces magical by cleverly adding pixelated, old-school pop-culture icons

Here are 17 of his most clever pieces.

via pappasparlor/Instagram

Pappas Pärlor's fantastic street art.

Anyone who grew up in the late '80s and early '90s—Gen X, I’m looking at you—grew up in a world that was dominated by 8-bit graphics. Back in the day, computers and video game systems had a limited amount of processing power so the graphics had to be simple.

That meant the heroes that we played with such as Mario from Super Mario Brothers or Link from The Legend of Zelda, had to be super simple looking and we had to fill in the rest with our imaginations.

Video graphics have come a long way over the past 30-plus years, but people still love the old designs because it takes them back to a simpler time. This has led to an 8-bit movement where people use their creativity to make art within the confines of the limited medium.

Some people also use the limited 8-bit soundscape to create music that’s reminiscent of the old games. Sure, computer game music may be much more sophisticated these days, but is there anything better than the original Tetris soundtrack? Would Super Mario Brothers be the same with a sophisticated soundtrack? I think not.

Swedish artist Johan Karlgren, who goes by the name Pappas Pärlor, creates pixelated 8-bit-looking art and then inserts it into everyday scenes. The interesting thing is that his 8-bit art isn’t done with computer graphics, but Perler beads.

Perler beads are small, plastic beads that one places on a grid, and when the picture is done, they are melted with a household clothing iron. The beads are a fun hobby for kids who love to see the melting beads ooze their way into a fully-formed picture.

Although they weren’t originally intended to make 8-bit art, because the beads are placed on a grid when they melt together the designs look like they came straight out of a Nintendo Entertainment System.

Karlgren recreates iconic images from comics, cartoons, video games, and movies with the beads and then adds them to the scenarios, turning the mundane into the whimsical.

What’s Karlgren’s big inspiration? “Anything that makes me feel something,” he told Bored Panda. “It could be anything from childhood memories to politics or people doing awesome stuff that I wanna interpret.”

For Karlgren, his work is the byproduct of having a good time. “I don’t really choose what to create. My work is sprung from playing, and I’ll try to go with the ideas that come up in my head,” he said.

One of the hallmarks of Karlgen’s work is taking drab places such as a parking lot or other types of urban infrastructure and livening them up with the addition of one of his Perler bead creations. "It's something that makes me happy, and hopefully other people [when] seeing it as well," he told Newsweek.

Karlgren is a father of four and started posting his creations on Instagram back in April 2014. Since then, his fun, old-school designs have earned him more than 144,000 followers. Here are some of his coolest, and funniest 8-bit designs.

8-Bit Joker

"Rose!"

Raiders of the Lost Fence Knob

Mario Kart: Snow Speeders

"Here's 8-Bit Johnny!"

The Man of Steel

That Creep Can Roll

Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man

Anthony Adams Rubbing Hands Meme

"I Said God Damn!"

"Take My Money!"

Darth's Day Off

Jaws

"Go Ahead, Make My Day."

Mini Bernie

Tony Montana

The Homer Meme

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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art

Celebrity

Hugh Grant finally tells his Bridget Jones co-star Renée Zellweger what he always thought of her

The feeling is mutual.

Images of Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger via Wikicommons

Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger

love actually GIFGiphy

Hugh Grant does not hold back when it comes to his opinions on anything. But in one unfortunate interview he did for Elle Magazine back in 2009, he dished on most of his female co-stars, and it wasn't pretty. He described Emma Thompson as "clever, funny, mad as a chair." Of Sandra Bullock, he said, "a genius, a German, too many dogs." He later commented that Julia Roberts' mouth was so big, he "was aware of a faint echo" when they kissed onscreen. And while Julianne Moore, Rachel Weisz, and Drew Barrymore were all described as clever, stunning, or beautiful, the consensus was that they all "loathed him."

But it was his Bridget Jones's Diary co-star Renée Zellweger with whom he seemed to have the softest spot. Even when revisiting the matter on The Graham Norton Show in 2016, Hugh agreed with his original assessment that she's "delightful. Also far from sane. Very good kisser."

When pressed, Hugh jokingly said, "She is genuinely lovely, but her emails are 48 pages long. Can't understand a word of them."

Now, nine years later, Renée is returning to her Bridget Jones character, and the two reunite for a piece called "Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy" for British VogueBritish Vogue. After Hugh writes an intro to the piece, where he reveals he used to have tons of questions between on-set shots for Renée—questions like "If you had to marry one of today's extras, who would it be?" and "Who is a better kisser, me or Colin Firth?" He now has a whole new slew of questions. Here are a few key things we find out:

Sad Renee Zellweger GIF by Working TitleGiphy

What did Hugh always think of Renée?

He says candidly (of course), "With a lot of other actors, you think they're really great, and then suddenly you see a little glint of steely, scary ambition, and you realize this person would trample their grandmother to get what they want in this business. But I've never seen that glint coming off you. So either it's very well disguised, or you are quite nice."

What does Renée really think of Hugh?

You're hilariously brilliant at everything you hate. And, though you hate humans, you're a very good and loyal friend. I like you very much. And I love working with you."

Love Actually Dancing GIF by PeacockTVGiphy

What did Hugh really think of her English accent?

Queen Elizabeth GIFGiphy

After discussing Renée's dialect coach, Hugh tells her that her attempt at an English accent is…"perfect."

**Why does the Bridget Jones franchise remain so appealing?**

Renee Zellweger Romance GIF by Bridget JonesGiphy

Hugh says, "In a nutshell, I say it's an antidote to Instagram. Instagram is telling people, especially women, 'Your life's not good enough.' It's not as good as this woman's or that woman's, making you insecure. Whereas what Helen (the writer) did with Bridget is celebrate failures, while making it funny and joyful."

Renée makes some jokes and then says, "I think maybe folks recognize themselves in her and relate to her feelings of self-doubt. Bridget is authentically herself and doesn't always get it right, but whatever her imperfections, she remains joyful and optimistic, carries on, and triumphs in her own way."

What does Hugh think of Renée's fashion?

Drunk Bridget Jones GIF by Working TitleGiphy

After asking if people in general should be a "bit more stylish," Hugh tells Renée she's "very chic." Renée pushes back with, "I'm wearing a tracksuit." To which Hugh retorts, "Yeah, but a sort of PRICEY one."

And finally, those emails:

"You have sent me the longest emails I've ever received. I can't understand a single word of them. They're written in some curious language that I can't really understand."

"No!" Renée exclaims. "If you reference something in your emails that makes me laugh…I will circle back to that. And if you've forgotten that you wrote it, I don't think I should be held accountable for that!"

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Joy

Pet owners share the worst thing their pet has ever done, and some have been very, very bad

They're little angels…until they aren't

Photo by Miron Cristina on Unsplash. Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash.

Who can stay mad at faces like these?

Pets are wonderful, loving, innocent creatures that add so much pure joy into our lives.

They also have an unruly penchant for eating things they shouldn’t be eating, finding heinously bad places to go potty, and they are weapons of mass destruction when it comes to shoes, fragile knickknacks, and furniture. If you’ve had a pet, then you have at least one story involving one of these sins, if not all three.

No matter how egregious the act, though, it’s pretty hard to stay mad. After all, much of the time animal misbehavior is merely a natural reaction to stress or boredom. Plus, one look at their sweet little faces is all it takes for anger to be subdued. Most of the time.

A Reddit user recently asked pet owners, “What’s the worst thing your pet has ever done?” and boy, some critters really know how to act out. Whether its fur babies or feathered friends or scaly companions, pets are capable of some truly horrific-slash-hilarious antics. We love them anyway, of course.

Below are 22 of the best responses from traumatized pet owners. And though their stories don’t necessarily paint the best picture of their beastly bestie, it’s certainly an amusing read, if not an all-too-relatable one.

1.

“My dog dug up my neighbors cable line on Super Bowl Sunday when they had a big crowd coming over.” -@Living_Departure_265

super bowl football GIF by The MissionGiphy

2.

“My parrot has learnt to swear and will not stop. The weirdest thing is that I don't even know how he learnt to swear. Maybe he overheard the neighbors or something.” -@Pizza-pen

parrot GIFGiphy

3.

“As a kitten, she managed to get hold of, and tear to pieces, a dried flower my mother took from my grandmother's funeral as a keepsake. Literally irreplaceable.” -@Catstrudle

4.

“My dog, then teething, chewed through and broke the beanbag chair he used to sleep on; which was filled with styrofoam pellets, each about 3mm dia. Tens of thousands of them. There is no effective way of picking them up due to their attraction to static and propensity to fly at the slightest change in the wind. The vacuum cleaner just pushed around more than it picked up. It took ~3 hours to clean up. We were finding pellets for years in random places.” -@Darthfloyd

5.

“I used to have this ball python. I wake up one morning and take him out of his cage because he's looking restless. I throw him on my bed and lay back down. He'd often crawl on me and curl up for warmth. On this particular occasion he came sniffing around my face right as I yawned. When I did, a small tear came out of my eye, which he licked. A second later he latched onto my eyebrow like it was some furry little rodent. I sat right up, holding the four foot snake straight off my face. He let go after a few seconds and we didn't talk for the rest of the day. Left two bloody holes right on my eyebrow. Jerk.” -@Stevel-Knievel

pet snake GIFGiphy

6.

“Baxter once pooped in the refrigerator and ate an entire wheel of cheese. I wasn't even mad, it was amazing.” -@ryclarky

7.

“My boxer knocked over a statue of the Virgin Mary. Her head broke off, and my dog was running around with the head.” - @Motherinlawdouche

8.

“As I lay down for a much needed nap the other day, I heard a crash in the living room go out to check what fresh hell...my Calico had climbed a desk and knocked over a small shelf containing a case of small silver thumbtacks alllllllll over my living room. I made it about 5 steps in before I realized I was surrounded by tacks.” -@slumvillain

9.

“I filled a cup to the brim with fruit punch and walked away to put the bottle back into the fridge. When I turned back around I saw my blind cat standing on the dining room table feeling the cup with his paw…he winds up and swats it off the table. Got fruit punch everywhere." -@colethefatcat

10.

“Back in 2014, my parents owned this vase that had been passed down 4 generations to the youngest in the family. It sat on top of the cabinets, like higher than the refrigerator. Our family went on a 4 day vacation to Disney World and had our neighbor feed our 2 cats. On the 2nd day of our vacation, my father gets a text saying that our vase shattered on the floor and both our cats were next to where it once sat. We believe our cats were able to jump up there with the help up [by] climbing on our air fryer we left on the counter.” -@mittiens

11.

“We bought our first house and the first time we left our dog alone he ate through the trim surrounding all the doors, the drywall behind it, and almost through the exterior. Needless to say I wasn’t pleased.” -@Fuzzy-Ad5756

12.

“I’m a caffeine addict and I admit it. I start out every day with an energy drink and pop Diet Mountain Dew all day. In college I was very, very broke and at one point was down to about 14 ounces left in a 2 liter of Mtn Dew poured into a cup. My cat came to check out what I had, sniffed at it and I guess the popping bubbles tickled her nose and she sneezed directly onto the surface of it.”-@LatterTowel9403

13.

“Got a new dog and wanted them to be happy and acclimated to a new home. Gave them a pig ear to chew on (already a fairly disgusting treat) and they happily take it. A short time later, where did the dog go? On my bed, chomping away on the pig ear, with a large pile of drool and pig ear bits, now quite possibly a permanent part of my sheets. Not the way I wanted to start off a relationship with a new dog. Silver lining, my sheets smelled like bacon for a while even after washing them!” -@ItsGotHeart

14.

“My beta killed 3 fish in a week.” -@Tox1cShark7

fish conflict GIFGiphy

15.

“My dog was still a puppy and has never seen a baby bird. One night I was taking her for a walk and there was a baby bird on the ground. It was chirping and it really caught her attention (probably cause it sounded like her squeaky toys). I started reaching for the bird so I could try and put it back in its nest but my dog jumped towards the bird. I just heard a loud squeak and silence. My dog's expression changed when she realized what she had done. The rest of the night she was not herself, I'm sure she felt really bad.” -@justanotherperson218

16.

“He (dog) broke my mother's nose with his big head by jumping around too excitedly.” -@mortokes

17.

“A few nights ago, in the middle of the night, my monster cat brought in a live pigeon through the cat door and released it in the living room. Feathers EVERYWHERE.” -@effieokay

gif of cat wearing sunglasses with the legend, "Bad Cattitude."

GIF by U by Kotex BrandGiphy

18.

“I have a roomba. I set it to clean at 7:30 AM every morning… because I am always out the door for work by then, and my dog has just been walked. One morning, apparently, the 7 AM walk was not enough, and my dog shit on the floor. Then, like a good little robot, my roomba took off. I came home to poo circles all over my carpet and a dead roomba.

TL;DR--My dog teamed up with a robot to create an abstract art piece made out of feces.” -@SleepsontheGround

19.

“Whilst walking my friend's dalmation, Stripey, one summer's day in a park filled with happy picnickers and laughing children, she spotted a birthday party. A river separated the party from us and, underestimating her love of food, I kept her off the [leash]. I'm not sure how she even saw the birthday cake wrapped in tinfoil but she leaped into the river before I could stop her. She tore apart the tinfoil like a savage and devoured the cake before quickly moving on to the BBQ where she managed to eat every sausage, burger and chicken leg she could see whilst the birthday boy watched in terror. I stood awkwardly on the other side of the water, shouting her name and apologizing profusely but she only listened when she'd decided her meal was over after which she swam calmly back over the water and pranced into the distance whilst the entire family stared me down. I am sorry, birthday boy, I hope your day wasn't too badly ruined.” -@Tanyabee

20.

“One time I was running to the basement to grab an ingredient I had forgotten to add to dinner. Like an idiot, I kept the burner and hot pan going because I figured that running to the fridge in the basement would only take a minute. Instead, I tripped over my dog before reaching the first step and tumbled down into the basement. I stared up to see my dog looking down and smiling as I scrambled frantically to run back upstairs before my stupid dinner set the entire house on fire.” - [deleted]

21.

“Maybe not ‘worst’ for me, but definitely for my mom. She pissed off the cat… kicking her out of the bedroom before bed because she hates animals sleeping on her bed or next to her…Apparently in the morning, she was running late for work. Rushed to put on her shoes and found vomit in one of them. Out of all her shoes, and of all the times in the day, the cat had decided to revenge-puke in the ones she wears to work almost every day.” -@badguywindow

22.

“My 55lb dog ate an entire tray of pot brownies.” -@karmavorous

scared scooby doo GIFGiphy

We sincerely hope that last dog is okay.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Health

Woman suffers a stroke and wakes up with an Italian accent having never been to Italy

She thought she was dreaming after hearing herself speak.

Photo credit: Canva

British woman's stroke leaves her with an Italian accent

There's something universal about getting a kick out of speaking in foreign accents that differ from your own. Whether it's American friends putting on a fake British accent to talk about tea or an Australian speaking in a southern U.S. accent to order barbecue, it's all in good fun. But what is you woke up one day speaking in an accent that wasn't your own outside of your control?

This very thing happened to a British woman after suffering a stroke. It was just another day for Althia Bryden, she and her husband, Winston had settled in for the evening, propped up in bed to catch some television before going off to sleep. But things took a dramatic turn when her husband left the room for a few minutes only to return to Althia slumped over looking strangely.

Winston immediately knew that something wasn't right so he rushed her to the hospital where he found out that she had a stroke. The condition required her to have surgery to clear the blockage to her brain but when she awakened, she no longer recognized the voice coming from her mouth. This wasn't because her speech was slurred due to the stroke, it's because she was speaking in a completely different accent.

Comforting Hand In Hand GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

Of course, Althia was thrilled to be speaking at all since she was unable to do so for a period of time after her stroke but it wasn't her accent. The woman who normally spoke with a familiar British accent was suddenly speaking with an Italian accent, except she's never spoken Italian. In fact, she's never even been to the boot shaped country on vacation, yet somehow she picked up the perfect Italian accent while under anesthesia.

Althia and her husband recently appeared on "This Morning," a morning news show in England, to tell the story of Althia's bizarre stroke side effect.

"i just remember to wake up into a ward but I didn't know why I was there, you know? Winston's telling me, my family's telling me I have a stroke. I wasn't sure where I was at the time and I didn't realize I had been taken from my house, from my bed, none of this. You know, a big surprise," Althia says in a thick Italian accent.

Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderGiphy

The woman admits to the talk show hosts that it was a scary experience not being able to talk at first. The only thing she can do upon waking from her stroke was to point at things as a means of communication. She explains that she could hear and understand everything going on around her but she was unable to speak until after the surgery where they removed a carotid web. This is a rare thin membrane that can extend within the carotid artery blocking blood flow.

"The next day, you know, they moved me to a ward. The nurse comes to wake me to do blood pressure again, you know cause they're worried about it. So I hear this voice, I've not hear my voice for a long time, you know. I'm like this," Althia reenacts looking around the room. "I didn't realize it was me. I looked behind me in my hospital bed, who is speaking to me, you know. Who is this?"

Althia is one of only 200 or so people around the world who have Foreign Accent Syndrome. This rare condition can develop after damage to the area of your brain that controls speech, can develop without cause or occurring after a seizure or migraine according to the Cleveland Clinic. While the people who have the condition may sound as if they have a different accent, they don't actually have a "foreign" accent. That part of their brain has them forming words

"FAS involves sound changes that aren’t consistent with an accent. For example, accents that replace the “r” in “car” with an “ah” sound still say the “r” in words like “carriage.” Someone with FAS (especially the structural type) will likely still not make that “r” sound. That means their speech won’t exactly match with the accent it’s similar to," Cleveland Clinic explains.

There doesn't seem to be a cure for the condition, though speech therapy may help but there's no guarantee that it will take away the accent completely. It is mainly used to help people with FAS communicate more clearly. Thankfully for Althia, it seems that while her accent may still feel like a bit of a shock, she can communicate clearly with those around her. But for a woman born in London, her Italian accent sure will make for an interesting conversation at parties.

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