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'Lazy' mom of four shares a video of her incredibly messy home and parents love her for it

"It's not dirty, it's just messy."

screenshot of a messy kitchen; woman speaking to camera; child standing by large pile of laundry
via themessymama4/TikTok

Bri James and her messy (not dirty) home.

It’s hard to keep your home clean when you have a child, but when you have four, (and unless you have a live-in maid), it’s completely impossible. There is no dishwasher fast enough to keep up with the dishes in the sink and no magical point where all four children have it together enough to put their toys away.

The problem is that if you take your eyes off the prize and let a day go by without cleaning up, you’re practically drowning in chaos.

TikTok user and stay-at-home mom Bri James (aka @themessymama4) did the unthinkable and let her home go four days without tidying up and shared the incredible mess with everyone on TikTok.


"I know I'm going to get roasted," she says in the clip, "but ... this is what happens when two really lazy adults have four kids and don't clean up after themselves."

The clip shows cutlery on the floor, empty packets everywhere, dishes piled a mile-high in the sink, and clothes and toys strewn everywhere. The house looks like the parents went away on a permanent vacation and left their kids to fend for themselves.

The video was praised by a lot of parents who are tired of seeing mommy influencers with spotless homes and children in matching linen outfits. Finally, there was a mom on TikTok they could relate to.

"I'd MUCH rather see you clean your realistic house than watch another blonde clean an already clean countertop," Meghan Sanders wrote.

TikToker Its_not_that_serious put things in perfect perspective. "Dude, at the end of the day all of their fingers and toes are attached and feeling safe and loved you’re doing fine. Someday the house will be clean," they wrote.

"Having children is mentally and physically exhausting and you don’t always have the energy to clean every day," Rose added.

But not everyone appreciated Bri's slice of reality. Some people thought that her messiness was borderline neglectful and that she was setting a terrible example for her children.

"Set a good example for your kids. Make them help," carleebocciaa wrote.

"Without children = fine, your choice. With children (especially small ones) = completely unacceptable," ACZOgirly wrote.

Shortly after posting her first video, Bri got to work on the impossible task of cleaning up the entire house. Noticeably absent from the job were her spouse and four children. She appears to clean the entire place by herself.

She showed her cleaning prowess through a series of sped-up videos.

@themessymama4

my butt does not look flattering in these Walmart lounge pants 🤦🏼‍♀️😅

Finally, at 9:30 p.m., Bri was done with most of the job, although she still had a bit of vacuuming to do and there were still some dishes in the sink. At the end of it all, she was exhausted, but she got the job done and that’s all that matters.

It’s OK to let your house fall into disarray from time to time but eventually, you have to take care of business.

@themessymama4

I'm going to bed now. 🤣🥱😴

We’ll give TikToker Sannon Martin the final word on this story because she hits the nail on the head: “Your home is exactly like mine,” she wrote. “Some days it’s a wreck and some days it looks amazing. That’s life. You’re doing great!”


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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Pop Culture

I convinced my Gen Z kids to watch 'Dead Poets Society' and their angry reactions surprised me

Gen X and Gen Z apparently view "inspiring" very differently.

Rotten Tomatoes Classic Trailers/YouTube

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

This article originally appeared in January

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Photo of 'sad' McDonald's Play Place goes viral and sparks nostalgia

Why are playgrounds at fast food joints disappearing?

Salem State Archives/Flickr

The way we were.

The 80s and 90s were the heyday of ball pits and elevated tubes. For me, it was at IKEA, in particular. I remember many weekends spent crawling around in the supervised ball pit while my parents shopped for affordable Swedish furniture. For many others, McDonald's Play Place was the absolute mecca. Greasy cheeseburgers, salty French fries, sodas, ice cream, and unlimited access to a relatively state-of-the-art indoor playground? It was heaven!

Times have obviously changed. Some parents are more mindful of what their kids are eating on a regular basis, others are more wary of the germs floating around in these communal and rarely-cleaned spaces. Others still struggle with the fact that taking a family of four out for McDonald's Happy Meals and burgers isn't nearly as affordable as it used to be. Add it all up and you've got a recipe for major changes to the thing we remember so fondly from our childhoods.

A woman recently shared a stark photo of a modern McDonald's Play Place. It's honestly shocking how much things have changed.

In the photo posted by Nancy French on X, we see a mostly empty corner of a McDonald's restaurant with a jovially painted wall and two chairs placed directly in front of a couple of touchscreen devices that presumably have games and puzzles loaded onto them. That's...it. That's the whole play area.

"This is so heart breaking. I’m at a new McDonalds in Franklin, TN and look at their 'play place' for children. Two screens/two chairs," she wrote.

In a follow up photo after visiting the same location, French shared that the restaurant had added a jumping-pad sort of apparatus. But even still, it's a far cry from the incredible jungle gyms of our youth. French added that it didn't seem like the space was unfinished and waiting for a further build out. It was spartan by design.

The photo sparked disappointment at first, but then a wave of nostalgia.

French's photo struck a nerve across generations. Millennials, Gen X, and even Boomers were outraged by what they say. The photo racked up over 16 million views on X as more and more comments poured in, mostly from people who missed the "good old days" and were sad this generation of kids might miss out on those same experiences.

"That's so depressing," one user wrote bluntly.

"Where have all the ball-pits gone? I gained 90% of my immune system from those growing up," said another.

"When I was growing up our local McDonald’s had ball pits and a huge slide into them from a bunch of inner tubes you crawled in. I’m so [grateful] I grew up without screens," someone added.

"This image hurts me, because it's like....I remember the sheer joy of those play places. Spending 40 minutes running around like a rugrat in tunnels and slides and ball pits while giving my mom a whole 40 minutes to sit and do nothing but breath as a single mom (which now as a dad I comprehend fully 100000%)? This is dystopia," wrote a reddit user after the photo was reposted in the subreddit r/ABoringDystopia, which, honestly, perfectly captures the vibe.

More and more fast food restaurants are ditching kids playgrounds. Why?

Fast food joints bulldozing their playgrounds, or not even bothering to add a proper playground to new builds, is a noticeable phenomenon. I've seen it where I live, as well. We have a McDonald's or two nearby with good play areas, but all the other fast food brands in the area have gotten rid of theirs.

There are a few reasons why the "play place" is becoming more of a rarity:

Insurance and liability: Restaurants that choose to have a playground on-site must be insured against potential accidents and injuries that might happen on their property. It's actually a bit of a myth that Americans are incredibly litigious, but McDonald's in particular has faced a number of high-profile lawsuits and may rather not expose themselves to more.

Germs & post-COVID: Another thing COVID ruined! Public kid's play spaces like ones in fast food restaurants didn't see much use in 2020 and 2021 and, in fact, became a bit of a waste of space. Many closed down permanently during this time and never reopened. In 2025 and beyond, parents are a lot more worried about the spread of disease in hard-to-clean places like ball pits and play tubes.

More room for drive-throughs: Due to COVID lockdown restrictions, a lot of fast food restaurants invested heavily in expanding their drive-through operations. Drive-throughs continue to be far more popular than eating inside fast food restaurants, and play areas take up valuable real estate that could accommodate more cars.

Even the design and aesthetic of fast food restaurants has become gray, modern, and sterile in comparison to the vibrant colors of decades past. Some design experts say "gray" is taking over the world with minimalist design becoming more popular. It's almost like they don't want you to feel happy and comfortable in the restaurant, so you'll eat elsewhere.

Still, some argue that no more slides, ball pits, and tubes at fast food restaurants isn't as much of a loss as it seems.

Maybe it should have been a red flag that we needed to go to McDonald's for affordable food and a safe place for kids to run around in the first place.

"The slides are fun, but why do they have to be at McDonald's? Why are public play areas often few and far between, and good, inexpensive food so hard to come by? Why are our happy childhood memories branded with the golden arches or the logos of other mega companies, to the point that we almost feel a kind of nostalgic brand loyalty as we reminisce about our earliest days, our recollections all too similar to television ads?" one commenter wrote on Reddit.

Whatever the case, I hope these places never disappear completely, and that the pendulum swings back the other way. Maybe the days of hosting your birthday party at McDonald's is over, but it's still nice to have a somewhat affordable and fun place to take your kids that you know they'll enjoy. I have strong positive memories of spaces like this from my own childhood and hope that my kids will have the same opportunity.

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Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

@JessicaHiggs3/TikTok

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Australian plasma donor with rare antibody praised for saving 2.4 million babies' lives

James Harrison took a needle to the arm 1,173 times with no compensation—a real-life superhero.

Photo credit: Canva

Plasma donations save lives.

Some people never donate blood due to medical conditions or a fear of needles. Others consent to be jabbed on occasion in order to replenish the life-saving blood and plasma supply at hospitals. Among people who donate blood in the U.S., the average frequency is about twice a year.

So imagine someone donating blood or plasma twice a month, every month, for 64 years, without fail.

From 1954 to 2018, an Australian man named James Harrison donated his blood every two weeks, never missing an appointment, according to Australian Red Cross Lifeblood. After receiving a blood transfusion himself during a major surgery on his lungs at age 14, Harrison vowed to become a donor. He made good on that promise from age 18 to age 81, having his blood drawn 1,173 times over more than six decades.

All blood donations are valuable, of course, but Harrison's plasma was particularly valuable because it carried the rare anti-D antibody. Discovered in the 1960s, anti-D immunoglobulin is used to treat pregnant mothers with Rh-negative blood, which can cause rhesus disease in a fetus with blood incompatibility. The anti-D antibody prevents rhesus disease—also known as haemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn (HDFN)—and it literally saves lives, as more than half of babies who develop the disease die from it. It's estimated that Harrison's anti-D-rich plasma saved the lives of 2.4 million babies in Australia during his lifetime.

Harrison held the world record for the most plasma donated by an individual from 2005 to 2022, and he was dubbed "The Man with the Golden Arm" in his home country. Despite earning multiple accolades and awards for his consistent donations over the decades, including In the Medal of the Order of Australia, one of the country's highest civilian honors, Harrison always stayed humble about his contributions.

"Some people say, 'Oh, you're a hero,'" Harrison told NPR in 2015. "But I'm in a safe room, donating blood. They give me a cup of coffee and something to nibble on. And then I just go on my way. … No problem, no hardship."

In the United States, people are usually paid for plasma donations with amounts ranging from $30 to $70 per donation. But Australia doesn't pay blood or plasma donors, so Harrison's donations were pure giving. Harrison's daughter, Tracey Mellowship, said her father was "very proud to have saved so many lives, without any cost or pain," his daughter, Tracey Mellowship, told the BBC. "He always said it does not hurt, and the life you save could be your own."

Harrison had already been a consistent blood donor for about a decade when the anti-D antibody was discovered and he found out he had the rare combination of RhD-negative blood and Rh+ antibodies, which made him an ideal plasma donor. He happily switched over to donating plasma—a similar process to giving blood, but quite a bit more time consuming, as the blood runs through a special machine to remove the plasma before being injected back into the donor. He wanted this blood to do the most good.

Blood Donate GIF by US_HHSGiphy

Lifeblood told NPR that more than 3 million doses of anti-D containing Harrison's blood have been issued to Australian mothers since 1967, including Harrison's own daughter. "As an anti-D recipient myself, he has left behind a family that may not have existed without his precious donations," Mellowship said in a statement. "It made him happy to hear about the many families like ours, who existed because of his kindness."

Harrison only stopped giving plasma at age 81 because he had aged out—Australia doesn't allow blood donations past age 81. he expressed sadness upon giving his final donation in 2018. "I'd keep on going if they let me," he told theSydney Morning Herald.

He lived another seven years, passing away in March of 2025. Lifeblood is working with an Australian research institute to create a way to continue using Harrison's anti-D antibodies long after his passing in a project they call "James in a Jar."

"Using the blood of James and other donors, the team has successfully recreated and grown his antibody in the lab — with the hope it will one day help prevent [HDFN], not just for pregnant women in Australia, but also worldwide," Lifeblood told NPR.

We often think of heroes as people who risk their own lives to save another, but selflessly donating time and blood throughout an entire lifetime to save millions of babies is no less heroic than deeds that make for dramatic headlines. Perhaps we might all consider donating blood or plasma in honor of Harrison's extraordinary commitment. The need is always there, and you never know how many lives you might save.

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Long-distance Aunt watches baby on FaceTime so desperate mom can take a shower

The 'Virtual Village' is still a village

Canva Photos

If there's one thing burnt out parents yearn for as much as sleep, it has to be a good shower. A hot shower is so soothing. They've been proven to reduce stress and tension while promoting relaxation. Not only that, but feeling clean and fresh afterwards is such a boost to your mood, energy, and self-esteem. It's such a simple but powerful act of self care! And yet for parents of young children who need constant hands-on attention, it can be really difficult to find the alone time to enjoy a good shower; especially if and when they're parenting solo.

Sometimes TV or a cartoon on a tablet can help, but if you've ever hopped in the shower thinking your kids were perfectly content watching TV until you got out, you know what always happens: The second the water hits your skin is the second they end up needing you! Sometimes there's just no replacement for a watchful and engaging human eye to keep your kids occupied while you take care of necessities.

One awesome aunt is going viral for stepping up to help her sister, a mom of two, get a few minutes of quiet and calm. All from miles and miles away.


Giphy

Melasadies Worrell from Georgia recently posted a short video on TikTok with the caption: "When your sister is home with the kids by herself and she needs someone to watch them while she takes a shower. So you use your lunch break to help her."

"She just put [her youngest] to sleep and I told her to leave the phone in front of him, connect me to her speaker in the bathroom and I would say something if he started to move or cry," Worrell told Newsweek. There was also an older child playing quietly in the room, so Worrell could talk to him if the baby needed to be repositioned where he was sleeping.

There's always baby monitors, but if you're in the shower you can't see what's going on. You might hear a thud or a cry, but you also might not. Either way, having another human set of eyes watching is comforting.

"She felt a sense of peace knowing that I was there watching them, even if I couldn't physically do anything. But I could scream out and let her know, 'Wait a second, get out of the shower, he's rolling!'"

In the video, you can see Worrell keeping a watchful eye in the corner of the screen while chowing down on her lunch. The baby, meanwhile, sleeps peacefully through the whole thing. But auntie is still there, just in case!



@melasadiesworrell

This is hilarious to me but effective ! Thank God for FaceTime ! @Kiara smith #momsoftiktok #momlife #auntiesbelike #auntiesoftiktok

Over 2 million people watched Worrell's sweet video. So many people chimed in to say that they also used 'virtual babysitting' just like this in a pinch.

For better or worse, kids today have a high level of comfort with phones and tablets. Almost all of them know how to use FaceTime and navigate their way around various screens. Smart parents are using this to their advantage and taking a page out of the 2020 COVID playbook when we could only communicate with family on video calls and used them to keep kids connected to their grandparents and aunts and uncles.

"That’s what I do every day. My mom is in another country but you bet she gonna watch her granddaughter"

"I did this for my cousin and she had me bluetoothed to a speaker that was in the bathroom that way if the baby needed her or was about to do something dangerous she could hear me lol"

"That’s what I do every day. My mom is in another country but you bet she gonna watch her granddaughter"

"Listen sometimes it’s just knowing someone is LOOKING at them that eases the mind I swear"

"This is the definition of it takes a village"

Did you know that you can even hire virtual babysitters if and when family isn't available? It sounds utterly ridiculous, but it's a modern innovation that can really help struggling parents.

People are spending far more time at home than we used to, and many parents work from home full-time, to boot. The need for classic, traditional babysitting has decreased in a lot of households and given rise to a different sort of need. Parents might not need a babysitter to watch the kids so they can go out for the evening nearly as often as they might just need 30 minutes of quiet to take a shower, join a work call, or fit in some exercise.

Putting the kids on FaceTime with an aunt or grandparent is an amazing way to buy yourself a short break and keep your family connections strong. But in a pinch, a good virtual babysitter can be almost as good. The best ones are fantastic at keeping kids entertained and engaged through games, doing online puzzles together, and making interesting conversation.

It all sounds a little weird, but I love this evolution. Parents need to get creative sometimes to make sure their kids are safe and engaged while they take care of their life, their jobs, or themselves. With so many families spending more and more time cooped up together at home, career and self-care are often sacrificed. But now we know that a 30-minute FaceTime could be just the thing busy parents need to regain some crucial time for themselves.

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