Woman on plane says she was asked to take iPad away from 3-year-old to 'shield' other kids
Is it her job to abide by the rules of parents she doesn't even know?
It's no secret that everyone parents their children differently. Heck, even within the same house children are parented differently based on their individual personalities and social–emotional needs. So most parents understand that every family operates differently than their own but that doesn't stop some people from expecting their rules to be followed by other people outside of their family.
One mom found herself feeling a bit confused and likely frustrated after a recent flight with her preschooler. She and her 3-year-old were on a two hour flight enjoying some in flight entertainment in the form of an iPad. This seemed to be a problem for another family on board the same flight who also happened to have a preschool aged little boy with them.
The other family's child noticed the little girl's iPad and decided that he too needed to have his iPad. The only problem was, the boy's family decided he could not use his device while traveling which left him crying for the girl's tablet.
Instead of the parents of the little boy giving him his tablet, they requested that the other mom take the tablet away from her child and put it away.
According to the frazzled mom on Reddit, the little girl's mom refused to take the tablet from her child to accommodate the other family, causing the little boy to cry most of the flight. Of course, screen time is a hot button for parents, with some demanding to be screen-free until a certain age and others appreciating the time screens provide parents to get things done around the house.
woman carrying baby while sitting on gray seat Photo by Paul Hanaoka on Unsplash
Experts weigh in on screen time
According to the Mayo Clinic, screen time for children younger than 18 months old should be avoided unless video chatting with relatives or friends. Otherwise, there should be no screens until after that age when high quality shows and such can be introduced with supervision up to 24 months. But for preschool aged children the recommendation is to leave screen time to one hour or less of high quality programs with parental supervision.
Two psychologists who are also moms discussed screen time when traveling on the podcast "Securely Attached." They both agreed that each kid is different but one mom, Dr. Emily says, "I think you really have to adapt to what the needs are. If you have a really long flight, your kids are zoning out." Before adding, "I’m okay with them watching movies. I’m less with them doing a video game for hours and hours and hours that again, I might just be old and I think that’s more analog."
girl sitting on chair Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash
While the two children whose parents were in this mile-high standoff over screen time both fall into the one-hour or less category, these children are not from the same family. Every parent has different rules around screen time for their children, and some see traveling as a place to bend their own household rules a little to make sure their children are as occupied as possible in an effort to not inconvenience other passengers.
People chime in to support mom's choice
Since the mom who originally asked if she was wrong for refusing to take away her child's iPad was starting to second guess her choice after noting the other family giving her dirty looks, Reddit users emphatically supported her decision.
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"If they don't want their kid to use a tablet on their vacation, they need to be prepared for meltdowns like this while he develops the ability to understand that other people will have different rules and experiences than he will. I feel for them, I know how hard it is to travel with a cranky toddler, but that's simply not a reasonable request to make of a stranger," someone shares with the mom.
"I think the big benefit to iPads on flights is that you can download near unlimited activities and don’t have to bring anything else that takes up space! I own a Kindle and while I do prefer reading physical books, when I travel I don’t have to worry about reading my books too quickly because I can just download another! Like bringing a puzzle and a book and a game and markers and paper vs bringing one device that has all of those things can absolutely be beneficial for a flight/trip especially if you have young children and also need to pack snacks and diapers and sippy cups and all the extra stuff adults don’t need," another adds.
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"It's different before kids can read, I think. At 3 they can't just sit and read or do a puzzle, you have to actively do it with them and their attention span is short. Which might be fine for a 2 hour flight but isn't going to work for 5 or 7 or 12. Breaking it up with a few episodes of Bluey on your phone isn't going to hurt anyone and is considerate to your fellow passengers who don't want to deal with a toddler bouncing off the walls with boredom," one person writes.
boy sitting on chair beside table using tablet computer Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Overwhelmingly, parents and non-parents alike agree that this mom did nothing wrong by refusing to take away her daughter's iPad. Others suggested that the parents who chose not to use screens should have been more prepared with activities, "Exactly. It's fine to not want your toddler to use a tablet but you have to give them other activities. When we traveled as small children, we had lots of books, coloring books, little games, snacks, etc. planes are boring for all of us, especially children."
There you have it, planes are boring for everyone, so being prepared with boredom busters if you're avoiding screens can benefit everyone involved.
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