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Pop Culture

Kevin Smith receives a flood of support after sharing how childhood trauma affected his identity

Fans are applauding his honesty and calling for destigmatization of mental health conversations.

kevin smith
People/Youtube

Let's normalize talking about our mental health.

For many of us, the impacts of childhood trauma linger on insidiously. Aspects of our adult identity become shaped by those terrible chapters in our early years without us even realizing it. And because this happens at such a young age, it can take years of soul searching, not to mention professional support, before a person can sift through those painful memories to recover a real sense of self.

Yes, it’s a taxing and scary process, with perhaps the most daunting aspect being the fact that you once again have to bring that trauma to light by talking about it. But as we have seen many times over, being open and honest about our struggles often results in the support, healing and transformation needed to improve our mental health. In other words—the rewards outweigh the discomfort.

Filmmaker Kevin Smith is a celebrity pretty well known for being candid about his personal challenges, especially when it comes to health and well-being. After suffering from a heart attack back in Feb 2018, the “Clerks” director has made his weight loss journey and the insights from it a major part of his presence online. You’d be hard pressed to find a fan that didn’t know about this part of his life.

However, in an exclusive with People, Kevin Smith revealed for the first time that the root cause of his previous weight struggles had been related to sexual abuse he experienced at 6 years old, when an older boy forced him to perform sexual acts with a young girl in the neighborhood.

As Smith told People, he always denied the gravity of the incident, telling himself that "we were just playing doctor in an alleyway." It wouldn’t be until the age of 52, after checking into Arizona's Sierra Tucson treatment center and dedicating a month to intensive therapy, that Smith would learn the event was indeed severe and left him with an untreated psychological wound.

It took suffering from a "complete break from reality" and being stuck in a “weird, dark place,” but Smith did finally get help. After talking with a therapist, he learned that the incident, along with being made fun of for his weight by a teacher in grade school, led him to create a "larger-than-life" public persona he calls "the other guy.”

"I felt disgusting, like I didn't matter. That's when 'the other guy' started to appear. I decided to be entertaining and make people love me before they noticed I was fat,” he told People.

As we all know from “Jay and Silent Bob” alone, this strategy has worked. Perhaps for Smith more than most, it would seem disastrous to throw away an alter-ego which has brought such great commercial success.

And yet, Smith has still decided to not only take steps towards finding his "authentic self," which include discontinuing smoking pot and incorporating a more relaxed work schedule, but to share his story with fans in an effort to spread the message of the importance of self-acceptance.

Smith posted a link to the People article on his own Twitter account, writing, “Having been a creature of the Internet for 28 years now, I fully expect to get trolled for this. But if it can help some folks, it’ll be worth it. So here goes…A few months back I went through a mental health crisis. This is some of the stuff I learned.”

Take a look at what folks had to say:

“The more we talk about our mental health, the less stigma there will be around it. It’s ok to not be ok. Thanks for sharing your journey with us, Kevin!”

“Kev, I don't know you well, but we've met a few times over the years and I've always had a ton of respect for you. And I respect you even more for having the courage to face your demons publicly in a way that will surely help others do the same. Much love, brother.”

“Dude I related to this hard especially struggling with people commenting on my body when I was much heavier growing up and how I processed it. I minimized a lot of the comments going through life. Glad you talked about it Kevin.”

“Sending you all the love, Kev. You are worthy. In every way. You are helping people every day, but most importantly you're also taking time to help yourself and that's equally as important. I've been on a similar journey and I'm just happy to hear about your healing journey.”

“Thank you so much for this Kevin, being able to actually see the real authentic you is truly amazing, and I hope others get so much positive energy and healing from this, mental health is important and our happiness.”

“This was so beautiful. I can't thank you enough for sharing all your wisdom these last few years especially. I'm so happy you're finding yourself, cos that's who we love. You always shine past the other guy. Much love and godspeed in your continued growth.”

You certainly don’t have to be a popular celebrity to talk about your struggles. If anything, this is a beautiful example of what can happen when we normalize having these types of conversations. It might not look like an interview with People, but opening up to our loved ones, community or a therapist can still work wonders for recovering our sense of self. In fact, it might be the only way for us to truly do it.

You can watch Smith’s full video interview with People below:

Conservation

A juice company dumped orange peels in a national park. This is what it looks like today.

12,000 tons of food waste and 28 years later, this forest looks totally different.

Image via Dan Jansen

A before and after view of the experiment

In 1997, ecologists Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs approached an orange juice company in Costa Rica with an off-the-wall idea. In exchange for donating a portion of unspoiled, forested land to the Área de Conservación Guanacaste — a nature preserve in the country's northwest — the park would allow the company to dump its discarded orange peels and pulp, free of charge, in a heavily grazed, largely deforested area nearby.

One year later, one thousand trucks poured into the national park, offloading over 12,000 metric tons of sticky, mealy, orange compost onto the worn-out plot. The site was left untouched and largely unexamined for over a decade. A sign was placed to ensure future researchers could locate and study it.

16 years later, Janzen dispatched graduate student Timothy Treuer to look for the site where the food waste was dumped.

Treuer initially set out to locate the large placard that marked the plot — and failed.


natural wonders, nature, recycling, conservation, environment, oranges, orange peels, dumpsThe first deposit of orange peels in 1996.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"It's a huge sign, bright yellow lettering. We should have been able to see it," Treuer says. After wandering around for half an hour with no luck, he consulted Janzen, who gave him more detailed instructions on how to find the plot.

When he returned a week later and confirmed he was in the right place, Treuer was floored. Compared to the adjacent barren former pastureland, the site of the food waste deposit was "like night and day."


Environment, natural wonder, natural miracles, nature, oranges, planet, conservation The site of the orange peel deposit (L) and adjacent pastureland (R).Photo by Leland Werden.


"It was just hard to believe that the only difference between the two areas was a bunch of orange peels. They look like completely different ecosystems," he explains.

The area was so thick with vegetation he still could not find the sign.

Treuer and a team of researchers from Princeton University studied the site over the course of the following three years.

The results, published in the journal "Restoration Ecology," highlight just how completely the discarded fruit parts assisted the area's turnaround.

According to the Princeton School of International Public Affairs, the experiment resulted in a "176 percent increase in aboveground biomass — or the wood in the trees — within the 3-hectare area (7 acres) studied."

The ecologists measured various qualities of the site against an area of former pastureland immediately across the access road used to dump the orange peels two decades prior. Compared to the adjacent plot, which was dominated by a single species of tree, the site of the orange peel deposit featured two dozen species of vegetation, most thriving.


natural wonder, nature, environment, conservation, oranges, orange peelsLab technician Erik Schilling explores the newly overgrown orange peel plot.Photo by Tim Treuer.


In addition to greater biodiversity, richer soil, and a better-developed canopy, researchers discovered a tayra (a dog-sized weasel) and a giant fig tree three feet in diameter, on the plot.

"You could have had 20 people climbing in that tree at once and it would have supported the weight no problem," says Jon Choi, co-author of the paper, who conducted much of the soil analysis. "That thing was massive."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Recent evidence suggests that secondary tropical forests — those that grow after the original inhabitants are torn down — are essential to helping slow climate change.

In a 2016 study published in Nature, researchers found that such forests absorb and store atmospheric carbon at roughly 11 times the rate of old-growth forests.

Treuer believes better management of discarded produce — like orange peels — could be key to helping these forests regrow.

In many parts of the world, rates of deforestation are increasing dramatically, sapping local soil of much-needed nutrients and, with them, the ability of ecosystems to restore themselves.

Meanwhile, much of the world is awash in nutrient-rich food waste. In the United States, up to half of all produce in the United States is discarded. Most currently ends up in landfills.


natural wonder, nature, conservation, environment, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe site after a deposit of orange peels in 1998.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"We don't want companies to go out there will-nilly just dumping their waste all over the place, but if it's scientifically driven and restorationists are involved in addition to companies, this is something I think has really high potential," Treuer says.

The next step, he believes, is to examine whether other ecosystems — dry forests, cloud forests, tropical savannas — react the same way to similar deposits.

Two years after his initial survey, Treuer returned to once again try to locate the sign marking the site.

Since his first scouting mission in 2013, Treuer had visited the plot more than 15 times. Choi had visited more than 50. Neither had spotted the original sign.

In 2015, when Treuer, with the help of the paper's senior author, David Wilcove, and Princeton Professor Rob Pringle, finally found it under a thicket of vines, the scope of the area's transformation became truly clear.



natural wonder, nature, environment, environmental miracle, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe sign after clearing away the vines.Photo by Tim Treuer.


"It's a big honking sign," Choi emphasizes.

19 years of waiting with crossed fingers had buried it, thanks to two scientists, a flash of inspiration, and the rind of an unassuming fruit.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Love Stories

Woman who was chastised for being excited about first date shares inspiring update

"Every day this man reminds me that I made the right decision putting on my dress to impress him."

Woman chastised for excitement about date has inspiring update.

Everyone has their own dating preferences, which is a good thing because everybody looking for the same type of person would get pretty boring (and competitive). But with all the dating gurus and armchair experts on the subject, it can feel like there's no winning at this dating game. One dating influencer says women should never make the first move but another says that women who make the first move are the gold standard.

Chances are if one person has an opinion on something there's another so-called expert with the exact opposite opinion. One woman found herself staring down a slew of negative comments after she innocently shared a video about preparing for her first date with a man. Yaya, who runs the social media account, Past Perfect with Yaya recently updated her followers about that unexpectedly controversial date.

In order to understand why the update was so significant, we first have to revisit why the first date garnered such negative reactions. Yaya shares a brief recap in her update saying, "I made a video saying I met a man on a dating app and he told me he made me reservations at an Italian restaurant and I said I don't eat Italian food, or I don't prefer it rather, but please keep the reservations because nobody has made reservations like that for me in a while. Just made the plans."

couple, dating, relationships, couples, first date, datesCouple lounging on the hood of a car. Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

This is the bit that seemed to send the Internet armchair experts into a tizzy. She explains that so many people made fun of her and told her that she was the reason the bar was so low for men among other unkind comments. The entire situation Yaya described appears to be people who found time to be unnecessarily rude to someone who was simply excited to go out on a date with a man who thought enough to make reservations at a nice restaurant.

The woman who was surely confused by people's reactions could've listened to the naysayers. Yaya could've cancelled the date or decided not to go back out with the man when the date was over due to other people's opinions on what constituted a proper date. Instead, she went with her gut and got all gussied up to meet the guy who was considerate enough to make reservations for her even before he knew her favorite food.

dates, dating, nice restaurant, first date, relationships, Woman wearing black sweater holding hand with man wearing gray suit jacket. Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

"Well, I'm still with that man," she reveals. "Here we are three years later. We have traveled to many countries, many cities, many roadtrips. We've lived in different houses and done different things."

Had she listened to the people putting her down for the excitement she was feeling at the time, she would've missed out on what appears to be a great relationship.

"Everyday this man reminds me that I made the right decision by putting on my dress to impress him. And that had I listened to them I would not be living in Santa Barbara, California right now with the man I'm about to go to Turkey with, that just went to the store and bought me lipstick," Yaya says.

She explains that she's obsessed with a particular lipstick and noticed stores were no longer stocking them, so when her partner went to the drug store to pick up some sleeping medicine, he saw they had the lipstick she likes and grabbed it for her. That's it. It was a simple gesture of consideration, the same consideration he showed by making the reservation for their first date.

Yaya ends the video by saying, "Don't let these people convince you that your love should be according to their definition. You love and be loved according to your soul and your spirit and your heart. We are still together almost three years later all because I got excited that he made reservations for dinner and he has made me excited about life ever since."

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time. In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.


All photos by Jan Langer.


1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldProkop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.


2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103



via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.


3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.


4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.


5. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.


6. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

7. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.


8. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.


9. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.


10. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.


11. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.


12. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.


The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2020 U.S. Census recorded 80,139 people aged 100 or older, a 50.2% increase from the 53,364 centenarians counted in 2010. As our aging population continues to increase, and technology evolves along with it, it's likely these incredibly photo essays will become far more common. But for now, they are an incredible reminder of how precious and valuable life is, sometimes especially when we reach our golden years.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

Family

Mom shocked that fourth-grade son 'embarrassed' eating chips out of a Ziploc bag for lunch

It's easy to forget how kids that age get embarrassed over everything.

A child is embarrassed over his lunch.

One of the hardest times in a child's life is hitting that awkward phase around 10 that lasts 'til at least, 16. A hallmark of this time is when kids become obsessed with status symbols such as clothing, shoes, bikes, technology, and even what they bring in their lunches.

Kimberly Church, a Los Angeles stylist and mother of three boys, recently discovered that her 10-year-old was embarrassed by her packing his snacks in a Ziploc bag. “News today from my fourth grader that this kind of snack is embarrassing,” she said, holding up a Ziploc bag with chips inside. “So if I'm gonna send a snack, it needs to be in, like, one of those individual single-serving bags.”

It seems that the kids at his school will shame you for having your snacks in a Ziploc bag instead of individually wrapped, branded bags. Is it because it's cheaper to buy a large bag of chips and then divvy them up, day by day, rather than buying individual bags? Who knows what goes on in the mind of a fourth-grader?

"My son told me yogurt is embarrassing, like what? Why," one viewer asked in the comments. "I remember in 3rd grade we had $.25 popcorn Friday, and all my mom had was 2 dimes and 1 nickel, and I remember crying because I wanted a quarter because I was so embarrassed," another added.

As a parent, dealing with your child’s embarrassment over their lunch is tricky. You don’t want the child to be picked on for something so trivial as the type of lunch they bring to school. Still, you also want to teach them resilience and to stick up for themselves in front of other kids.

Why do tweens and teens get embarrassed so easily?

Carl E Pickhardt, Ph.D., says that it’s crucial for parents to avoid minimizing their tween or teen’s sense of embarrassment and to think of it in adult terms. “Sometimes, to give adults an emotional reference for the teenager’s embarrassment, they can relate to I’ll ask if they ever have any performance fears, stage fright, interview anxiety, social jitters, party discomfort, or nervousness about public speaking,” Pickhardt writes for Psychology Today. “Although not exactly the same, such sensitivity to personal exposure and fear of public scrutiny may be comparable to the emotional distress that adolescent embarrassment can cause.”

cafeteria, schools, parents, awkward phase, school lunch, lunches, kids and lunchA group of kids lining up in the cafeteria.via Canva/Photos

Pickhardt adds that children of this age are easily embarrassed because they're walking the tight rope between adulthood and childhood, and it’s easy for them to act too old or too young. In this young man’s case, eating chips out of a Ziploc bag may appear to be something a younger child would do.

Tweens and teenage kids are also very conscious about violating the norms of the group and feeling included because they are trying to find their place and assert their individuality outside of their family unit. Facing rejection from their “tribe” of peers can create extreme feelings of social isolation. This age of insecurity is easily taken advantage of by marketers who are working to make their brands an important part of youth culture.

sack lunch, school lunch, apple, banana, brown bag, green apple, elementary schoolAn elementary school kid's lunch.via Canva/Photos

“Branding is about finding a group or tribe to identify with,” Chris Hudson writes at Understanding Teenagers. “The message teens hear is ‘if you have the right brand, you belong to a family that share your identification with the brand and its lifestyle/values.’”

Parents may scoff at their child coming home and feeling embarrassed about their lunch, but there is much more at play if you dig a bit beneath the surface. Tweens and teens are going through a challenging phase where fitting in is paramount because the pain of rejection and bullying is terrible. So, it’s up to parents to have some sympathy by getting in touch with their feelings when they were younger and embarrassment made them want to disappear. Church may be surprised that her son is embarrassed about his school lunch, but in the end, it’s not really about snacks; it’s a request for belonging and evidence of the incredible importance that his peer group plays in his life.

Millennials question how they're 'the new parents.'

Millennials have always seemed to be the generation reminding folks that they are in fact adults. For more than a decade older generations continued to discuss Millennials as if they were still the youth of the day trying to figure out this thing called life. But the group of adults have children that range from infants to young adults along with mortgages and excessive student loans to prove their adulthood status.

Except lately, as Millennials reflect on raising children, they're now wondering who the heck left them in charge. Maybe the boomers and Gen X were right and Millennials really are just perpetual adolescents after all. Recently, Peter Le uploaded a video of how he soothes his crying baby with a not so classic lullaby. Maybe you've heard of it? If you guessed anything other than T-Pain's early 2000s mega hit "I'm 'n Luv (wit a Stripper)" then you'd be wrong.

As soon as the dad started belting out the lyrics (amazingly), the fussy baby immediately started to settle as if he just sang her a perfectly normal lullaby. The video had Millennials questioning who let them be parents because they don't see themselves as adults when it comes to their child-rearing choices. This doesn't mean that this forever young generation are bad parents—it simply means that they do things a little differently while not taking themselves too seriously.

waving, parents, millennials, millennial parents, parentsHc2020Clients-Brendon-Teams GIF by FlyWheel PartnersGiphy

Millennials range from ages 29 to 44, with many of them having come of age during peak club culture. With that in mind, so many of the bangers of the 2000s are locked in as core memories and make up the soundtrack of their lives. Sisqó's "Thong Song" along with Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz's "Get Low" were all in regular rotation at high school dances or at the club in college. Just like their parents before them, reminiscing on the music of yesteryear is part of the gig, except Millennials were probably being soothed to sleep by Prince's "Raspberry Beret," not "My Neck, My Back" by Khia.

But that difference is the reason some Millennials are questioning why a hospital allowed them to walk out with a tiny human. Le's video has nearly 3 million views with thousands of commenters weighing in on his choice of soothing music for his daughter.

"Years from now she’s going to hear this song and not understand why she’s so suddenly relaxed," one person jokes.

"Millennial parents are the most unserious people 🤣🤣 it’s me too," another says.

Someone else laughs, "I’m still shocked someone trusted us with kids when millennials are in fact stunted children with PTSD and incurable nostalgia 😅."

parents, parenting, kids, millennials, generations, babiesfathers day dad GIFGiphy

"This soothed me and was low key nostalgic! Somebody pick me up and let’s go to the club 😂," another person chimes in.

There's nothing like the possibility of your kid reminiscing about their childhood with their own children, telling them all about how their grandfather used to sing about being in love with a stripper. One has to wonder if their children will think nothing of it due to their own unique lullabies or if they'll be questioning if grandpa needed adult supervision. Either way, other Millennial parents agree with his methods.

babies, parents, parenting, millennials, millennial parentsGIF by SupercompressorGiphy

"One day she will be in the club wondering why her favorite lullaby is playing…😭," one says.

Someone else writes, "😭😭 aye! Millennials are really the funniest bunch of parents. Love us! 🫶🏾😂," while an expectant mom takes notes saying, "Having my first next month and I DO NOT KNOW A SINGLE LULABBY[sic] 😭 Kendrick Lamar is going to be working overtime in my house 😂😂😂."