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Kate Winslet shares sage advice for complimenting girls and women are loving it

So many women say they never heard things like this growing up.

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Photo credit: Maggie (Maggiejumps) from Palm Springs, United States

Kate Winslet at the Palm Film Festival, 2007

The way we see ourselves is influenced greatly by those around us, especially during out formative years. The words of our parents and other family members, our friends and teachers, acquaintances and random strangers can have a big impact on our self-image and sense of confidence—for better and for worse.

That's part of why paying others compliments is so powerful. We all know that negative words can stick with us, but kind ones can too. Especially if we pay attention to the way in which we offer kids a compliment, as actress Kate Winslet explained on the How to Fail with Elizabeth Day podcast.

"When we compliment our children, particularly our girls—and any mother who is listening, please remember this," she said. "There is so much negativity that young girls are hearing from the world, just because that’s how the world is, but also because, very sadly, many of them are on social media and are exposed to an unnecessary level of negativity every day of their lives. If we do not tell them that they are beautiful and that we are so proud of who they are, they might not hear it from anyone else. So you have to say it."

"And there’s also a way of saying to your child, 'I love you and you’re amazing,'" she continued. "There’s that, but there’s also, 'Do you know what I love? The way you see the world and the way you dress with so much pride. I just really admire that.' That will land on a teenage girl’s ear much better than 'You look lovely, darling.' That's in one ear and out the other because they expect us to say that and they've heard us say it a million times before. But saying, 'My god, you look so strong and vibrant. Never ever lose the pride you take in how you walk through the world. It's amazing.'"

Winslet's message resonated with so many women, especially those who themselves had not heard compliments like this growing up. Check out these comments:

"When I was a kid, I remember looking in the mirror and crying because I thought I was ugly. Like young, second grade maybe. And my mom was in the room and all she said was stop it. And I really needed to hear kind loving words."

"Oh goodness, I’ve never heard those things my whole life (entirely the opposite!) but I’ll be damned if my little girl (and my son too because that equally matters in such a judgemental world!) ever feels she’s no enough. I’m forever telling her how beautiful she is, how sparkly she shines but also how strong she is, how brave, powerful, kind, funny, loving and magical. I do everything in my power to be body confident around her and so much so I’ve slowly started to love myself a little more too. Words are powerful, actions are powerful. Standing in the mirror telling myself whilst little eyes and ears are watching ‘I love the way my belly wobbles, I’m proud of my body because it grew my precious children’ is hopefully what they will remember as the grow and never once wonder if they should be more or less, or anything other than their perfectly imperfect self. 💕"

"Not me literally crying because my mom has NEVER said any of these things to me.."

"Me too 💕💕 I don't plan on having kids but I do plan on telling all my friends future kids this as much as I can and I'm so excited for that ❤️"

"Same girl. In fact I was told I was a waste of fresh air and would never be anything. I tell my 6yo at least 5 times a day how amazing and beautiful she is, and how proud I am of her. She is literally healing my heart 🥰💜"

"Aame. Not even the, 'you look lovely darling' part."

"Me neither..I just got negative messages from my mum as a child. A part of me still thinks Im not pretty or good enough. But you know what, I'm working hard to remind my daughter every single day that she is strong, smart, beautiful, wise, intelligent...In a certain way Im healing too my inner child at the same time I give her a high confidence."

"Growing up in the 80s I was never told this either and never thought of myself as pretty or special . Now that I have children and tell them how proud I am of them and how beautiful/handsome they are , I realise how bad my self esteem is / was. I was loved but didn’t get that type of validation. So now I am making sure my children know how beautiful and special they are."

As much as girls get a particularly heaving helping of negativity from society, as some pointed out, boys need to hear these kinds of compliments as well.

"Say it all to the boys too, please!!"

"Agree actually and I don’t have sons I have two girls. But I think this massively applies to boys also."

"I love Love love this woman. I am a mum of a daughter and two boys. I always notice when my daughter walks in the room ready for a compliment, my sons are also waiting for the compliment but without being so obvious and when they get it, their faces light up. So let’s say it to boys and girls. How proud they make us just because they have been born even or How beautiful they are because their pureness shines through from their little hearts. Even during the temper tantrums and stroppy teenage years 🙌❤️"

"Boys can be very sensitive, society has just dictated that they must have a tougher exterior. I am a Mum of two boys and feel that this is an equally important message for boys and girls - all kids."

"Was going to say the same thing. I have 2 boys and they need this just as much as my daughter does."

It's true. We all perk up a bit when we receive a compliment, especially when it reflects something specific about our character and not just something surface or generic. Kate Winslet's advice is a good reminder of how to compliment anyone of any age or gender effectively.


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National Geographic Documentary Films
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Joy

5 wholesome things to do this weekend: Stream this movie, make your own bucket list, and more

Easy and fun things you can do this weekend that will make your life (and the people around you!) happier

Blink, a new documentary from NatGeo, is now streaming on Disney+ and Hulu.

True

It’s December, and we’re all currently in the thick of it: Wrapping presents, baking cookies, and scouring the toy aisles for that must-have gift of the season. But in the middle of all the holiday chaos, it’s easy to lose sight on what the season is really about: making meaningful memories with our loved ones.

From volunteering to building a bucket list to watching maybe the most uplifting documentary we’ve ever seen, we’ve put together five simple and wholesome activities that will leave you and the entire family a little more connected and a whole lot happier. Ready to make memories that last? Let’s dive in.

Make a difference close to home

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A 2023 analysis from the journal Frontiers in Psychology showed that people who regularly volunteered in their communities had greater self-esteem, more self-reported happiness, and a greater sense of personal fulfillment. (Um, yes, please.) If that sounds like something you want to experience as well, then you're in luck: There's no better time to lend a helping hand than during the holiday season. You could shovel a neighbor's driveway, buy presents for kids in need, or—who knows? You might want to be super ambitious, like setting up a food pantry or volunteering as an "interim parent" like this woman, who cares for babies and young children while their adoptions are being finalized. The sky is the limit.

Watch this feel-good, family flick

Get the tissues ready: This is maybe the most uplifting documentary you’re ever going to see. The film, “Blink,” follows a family with four children, three of whom have a rare genetic disease called retinitis pigmentosa (RP). With RP, the cells of the retina slowly die off, leaving a person with tunnel vision that shrinks until they are nearly—or totally—blind.

The parents, Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier, decide to gift their children with incredible sights and experiences so that they can treasure them forever, even after their sight is gone. The film follows the Pelletier family as they make a bucket list and set out on a year-long journey across 24 countries to make some incredible memories.

For some seriously wholesome holiday goodness, stream "Blink," now on Disney+ and Hulu.

Make your very own bucket list

person writing bucket list on bookPhoto by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

To fulfill their dreams, the Pelletier family in the National Geographic documentary "Blink" created a bucket list with every kind of memory they wanted to fulfill, from seeing a sunrise on a mountain to "drink[ing] juice on a camel." (Because, sure. Why not?) Spend some time thinking of your own dreams you'd like to fufill. This is the perfect activity if you're looking for something creative and family-friendly—just gather the kids around for a brainstorming sesh and let the ideas fly. You might not actually complete all of these items (or any of them), but dreaming them up and spending time together is half the fun.

Spread some holiday cheer


Whatever your family’s ages and interests, there are a thousand different ways to spread holiday cheer this season, whether you’re singing Christmas carols door-to-door or just exchanging a warm holiday greeting. If you need inspiration, look no further than John Reichart, 74, who (just like the Pelletier kids) wants to create new memories for his family while he's still able to. Following his wife Joan’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis, Reichart set out to decorate every house in their neighborhood with lights and decorations purchased out of his own pocket. Simply inspirational.

Make someone's life a little easier. 

I need this goober in my life.
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The holiday season is all about giving and togetherness, but let’s be real, it’s no easy feat. Sometimes we can get stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. One surefire way to make this world a better place is to think of ways to make someone’s life just a little easier, like this mom who picks up her teenager’s bedroom every morning after he goes to school. You could even send a note of encouragement to someone who needs it, or bake some treats and leave them out for a hangry delivery driver.

It’s probably easier than you think to spread the love and leave the world a little happier than you found it.

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People are supporting a dad whose wife named their newborn while he went out for coffee

He didn't like the name, either. Shouldn’t it be a 50/50 decision?

via Canva

A mother smiles proudly after naming her baby.

Most people believe that both parents have an equal right to choose their baby’s name and that it should result from an agreement between both parties. That doesn't mean it’s always easy for both people to agree on the same name, but look, if you’re going to be a successful parent, you must know how to make compromises occasionally. Starting the job with your heels dug in does not bode well for anyone.

That’s why the following story is interesting. It shows what happens when a mother decides she can make the decision all by herself and what the fallout is like when her husband and his family find out. The story was recently shared on social media, and the commenters were shocked that she wasn’t sure if she was in the wrong.

"So, my (32F) husband (33M) and I just had our first baby girl a couple of weeks ago,” she begins the story. “We’d been going back and forth on names during my entire pregnancy. I really wanted to name her Eleanor after my late grandmother, who basically raised me when my parents weren’t around. She was my hero, and losing her last year was devastating. Honoring her felt deeply important.”

The woman’s husband preferred modern names such as Nova or Ember, which the mother just “couldn’t connect with,” so they never compromised.

baby names, parents of newborns, momsCaouple can't agree on baby names.via Canva

“On the day our daughter was born, while my husband stepped out to grab coffee, a nurse asked if we had a name for the birth certificate. I know I should have waited, but I was emotional and felt this rush of conviction. I just blurted out, ‘Eleanor.’”

When the husband returned with the coffee, he was “furious.”

“He said I’d blindsided him, robbed him of having a say, and that our daughter would hate her 'old lady' name. His family is also calling me manipulative. I feel terrible about the timing and how it all went down, but it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before. I just feel like I honored a name that truly mattered to me when he wouldn’t budge.”

The mother asked the commenters if the father was overreacting because “we couldn’t find common ground.”

The commenters overwhelmingly supported the father in the situation. “You made a unilateral decision about your shared child,” the top commenter wrote. “You literally started her life by using her as a centerpiece for conflict with your husband. You also isolated her from your husband during the first major decision regarding her. What a terrible way to start her life.”

“‘…it’s not like we hadn’t discussed Eleanor before.’ You discussed it and he said no. Personally, I think the name Eleanor is lovely, but that’s not the issue,” another commenter noted. “You unilaterally made a decision —a decision a you knew your husband disagreed with—about your—both of your—child. Your giving birth doesn’t make this child any less his. Your husband and his family are absolutely right. You blindsided him."

baby names, parents of newborns, momsA newborn baby. via Canva

However, a few commenters believed whoever birthed the child had the right to pick the name, even if the father disagreed. “This might be the only daughter you have and if he can’t make it meaningful for you when you just risked your life for this baby and let you have the win then idk,” one of the few supporters of the mother wrote. ”I would let him pick the middle name. Trendy names are overrated.”

The woman who posted her story has yet to follow up and share what happened next, but let’s hope she took the commenters’ advice and apologized to her husband and changed the baby's name. Most agree that it's not fair for him to call his daughter a name he doesn’t like for the rest of their lives and it will always be a sore spot in their relationship. It’s best to bring a child into a family where everyone is on the same page and agrees on the things that matter most.

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UPS driver shares his weekly paycheck, and now everyone wants to apply

People are shocked to find out how much delivery drivers make.

@skylerleestutzman/TikTok

People were shocked to find out how much Skyler Stutzman earned as a UPS driver.

People are seriously considering switching careers after finding out how much can be made as a UPS delivery driver.

In October 2023, Skyler Stutzman, an Oregon-based UPS delivery driver went viral after sharing his weekly pay stub on TikTok.

In the clip, Stutzman showed that for 42 hours of work, and at a pay rate of $44.26 per hour, he earned $2,004 before taxes, and ultimately took home just over $1,300 after deductions.

This shocked the nearly 12 million viewers who saw the video...and stirred their jealousy a bit.

Several couldn’t help but compare Stutzman’s salary to their own—especially those in professions requiring degrees and certifications.

“Not me realizing that a UPS driver makes more than I do. 20 years in my field with a degree!” one person lamented.

Another added, “$44? I’m a dang nurse only making $32 🤦♀️”

@skylerleestutzman UPS Driver Paystub Breakdown… #upspay #upswages #teamsters #ups ♬ original sound - Skyler Stutzman

Many even joked (or perhaps half-joked) about applying to become drivers themselves. But as Stutzman pointed out in multiple follow-up videos, earning his rate takes patience.


According to one of those clips, it took almost six years before he was offered a full time position, followed by a four year progression of wage increases until he started earning what he earns today. That’s around a decade, which one person pointed out was around the same time it takes to become a doctor.

Stutzman added that, depending on the location, you would be required to work in a UPS warehouse before working as a driver. So while his paycheck might have you considering taking on the job yourself, just know that it’s not exactly taking the easy route. And we haven’t even touched on the amount of manual labor that goes into the job, rain or shine.

Stutzman also said that he shared his current paycheck in the spirit of transparency, which is a value that the teamsters upheld as they fought for increased wages and better working conditions earlier in 2023.

@skylerleestutzman Here are my THEORETICAL thoughts… “Why would you show your paystub like that?” #upsdriver #ups #upswages #teamster #upspay ♬ original sound - Skyler Stutzman

After months of tense negotiations, as well as a threat to enact what would have been the largest single employer strike in U.S. history, disrupting deliveries across the country, the postal workers union reached an agreement with UPS.

The deal included air conditioning and ventilation improvements to delivery vehicles as well as full-time UPS drivers earning an average of $170,000 in annual pay, plus benefits. By the end of the contract, part-time union drivers would also make at least $25.75 per hour while receiving full health care and pension benefits,” according to UPS CEO Carol Tomé.

From Stutzman’s perspective, his earnings shouldn’t cause envy among those in other industries, but reflect a shared need for increased wages across the board to keep up with inflation.

Big takeaways here: earning good money doesn’t always require a degree, unions are powerful, don’t underestimate the value of skilled labor, and UPS drivers deserve respect.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Guy shares a simple, 2-minute solution to friendship distancing, calls it 'game-changing'

The "Wednesday Waffle" has become a weekly tradition for friend groups around the world.

Photo credit: Canva

The "Wednesday Waffle" is taking hold of friend groups everywhere.

One of the realities of adulthood is that friendships morph and change, even if we don't want them to. As friends who were once close embark on individual life adventures—moving away from home, finding jobs, getting into relationships, starting families—it's inevitable that friendships will shift and some distancing will happen. That's life, but that doesn't mean that we can't make an effort to maintain connection and create ways of keeping in touch with the people we care about.

In the olden days, friends would correspond with letters, but technology gives us many more ways to stay in touch. Unfortunately, smartphone use can easily overtake our lives, and figuring out how to utilize technology in a healthy and productive way can be tricky. But a video explaining a "game-changing" weekly tradition that provides a simple, quick way to keep up with our friends' lives has people wanting to create a "Wednesday Waffle" themselves..

"As I get older, I'm getting used to the fact that I don't hear from my friends as often as I used to," says Kirx Diaz. "And I understand, life is lifing, and I live 3,000 miles away from a lot of my closest people, but it's something that I've really had to come to terms with."

"However," he adds, "about a month and a half ago, we were introduced to this concept called the Wednesday Waffle, and basically what this is is a two-minute video life update talking about what we've been up to that week, how we've been feeling, and kind of everything in between. And I can't lie, it's been game-changing. The group chat's always going off, we know who's going through it, who's doing well, who we need to check up on throughout the week. And for the first time in a long time, I actually feel closer to my friends now than I did when I was living back home."

The Wednesday Waffle idea originally went viral from another guy on Instagram, who explained how he and his group of three friends send one another brief video updates every Wednesday. As @nonpractisinggenius explains, "waffling" with friends is "a game changer for maintaining long distance friendships." Some of the benefits he points out include:

- It takes just two minutes
- Fights feelings of loneliness
- Brings joy to the week
- Deepens connections
- Accommodates different schedules / timezones

When Americans hear "Wednesday Waffle," they may assume that it's something like Taco Tuesday, but "waffle" in this case is an Australian slang term for talking. "It’s just Aussie talk for speaking at length about nothing in particular. (think jibber jabber, yammer, natter, babble)" the originator explains.

It wasn't until he showed his partner a "waffle" from a friend who had recently had a baby that he realized how impactful it was. "She was really blown away by the fact that we'd been sending these Wednesday Waffles to each other every Wednesday for a couple of years," he said. She just thought it was such a great thing for friends to do to stay connected, and it made me kinda think about it. I've been taking it for granted, but it is such a good thing and I look forward to their video every Wednesday. So maybe this is something other people can introduce to their life."

People in the comments have been sharing their experiences starting up a similar habit with their friends. It doesn't have to be on Wednesdays and it doesn't have to be any specific length, but keeping the videos short and sweet help it become a sustainable practice.

"Put this vid in a group chat with 5 of my boys… everyone participated and it was a pretty great, and connective experience. I hope we are able to keep it up. Except we waffled on a Thursday."

"I sent this video to my 2 best friends in our group chat about a month ago and we have been doing this every week since. It’s been amazing because they both have crazy travel schedules with work and we have been able to see so much from each other in such a short time. Thank you for posting this, I can’t wait to see how we evolve it moving forward. ❤️"

"Started Wednesday waffles with the boyz this morning. Thanks for the suggestion."

"Dude! Me and my mates started this a few weeks ago. The absolute joy it brings us all every week is irreplaceable. Thanks for the inspiration. Legend. 🙌"

Whether you're wanting to keep in touch with one friend or a handful of them, a weekly "waffle" on a specific day of the week might just be the simple solution you've been looking for. Friendships do change over time and life legitimately makes keeping up with friends a challenge, but we don't have to resign ourselves to losing touch with people we care about when we have the technology to stay connected. All it takes is a few minutes and the ability to press record and send.

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Finally, someone explains why we all need subtitles when watching TV

No, you're probably not losing your hearing.

Vox/YouTube

Finally, someone explains why we all need subtitles.

It seems everyone needs subtitles nowadays in order to "hear" the television. This is something that has become more common over the past decade and it's caused people to question if their hearing is going bad or if perhaps actors have gotten lazy with enunciation.

So if you've been wondering if it's just you who needs subtitles in order to watch the latest marathon-worthy show, worry no more. Vox video producer Edward Vega interviewed dialogue editor Austin Olivia Kendrick to get to the bottom of why we can't seem to make out what the actors are saying anymore. It turns out it's technology's fault, and to get to how we got here, Vega and Kendrick took us back in time.

They first explained that way back when movies were first moving from silent film to spoken dialogue, actors had to enunciate and project loudly while speaking directly into a large microphone. If they spoke and moved like actors do today, it would sound almost as if someone were giving a drive-by soliloquy while circling the block. You'd only hear every other sentence or two.

But with today's technology, microphones are so small they can be strapped just about anywhere on an actor. This allows the actor to move about the set freely and speak at a normal volume without worrying that their words won't be picked up.

So then why can't we hear them? Turns out it's super complicated…and also not.

"A lot of people will ask, 'Why don't you just turn the dialogue up?' Like, 'Just turn it up.' And...if only it were that simple," Kendrick said before explaining, "If you have your dialogue that's going to be at the same volume as an explosion that immediately follows it, the explosion is not going to feel as big. You need that contrast in volume in order to give your ear a sense of scale."

Sure, you may be thinking, well that kinda explains it, but why do the music and other cinematic noises sound like they're beating on your eardrum while the dialogue sounds like the actors are whispering every line? That doesn't seem very balanced. There's more to it, and again, it falls back onto technology.

In the video, they explain how our televisions are too thin to hold large speakers facing in the correct direction, and until this video, it didn't dawn on me that the speakers to my television are indeed in the back. No wonder we can't hear. The actors are quite literally talking to our walls.

And there's more. Check out the full explanation in the video:

While it may be a confusing trend, there's a reason for it as Kendrick explains. And, some experts like the World Literacy Foundation note that watching television and movies with subtitles is especially beneficial for children. Studies have shown that simply putting on subtitles improves literacy for kids, and many actors support the practice. This is good news for those worried about the literacy crisis in America.

If subtitles help us "hear" and improve literacy, then I'm all for them.

This article originally appeared last year.

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