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Joy

Writer Michel de Montaigne and a happy couple.

There are many ways to evaluate your marriage to determine whether you’re truly happy. Does it mean that you don’t fight very often? Does it mean that it’s filled with passion? Does it mean that you have no desire to be with anyone else? Is it because you have all of your business affairs in order, or is that the marriage is safe and predictable?

Further, like any relationship, there’s an ebb and flow to marriage where even the most perfect relationship has its ups and downs. Popular TikTok philosopher and Substack writer Juan de Medeiros recently shared an easy way to figure out if you, your spouse, or someone you know is in a happy marriage. He says it goes back to a quote by French author Michel de Montaigne: “If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.”

@julianphilosophy

Marriage❤️ #married #marriedlife #marriage #love

“And what he meant is that love is a good starting point,” de Medeiros explains. “But if you want to be together for a long time, you have to become best friends. In fact, you could have been best friends to begin with and then fallen in love.”

What's the secret to a happy marriage?

He also points to author Dr. Seuss to elaborate on the importance of friendship in a marriage. Suess writes, “We are all a little weird, and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

dr. suess, cat in the hat, authors, ted geisel, famous writersTed Geisel aka Dr. Seuss.via AL Ravenna/Wikimedia Commons

In Seuss’s view, unconventional quirks and characteristics bring people together. When everything that makes you unique in the world is either shared by your partner or cherished by them, it creates a bond and a common language that is impossible to duplicate. This “mutual weirdness” is also a powerful quality that helps people weather life's storms.

The post resonated with many of de Medeiros’s followers, who shared the benefits of having a marriage based on mutual weirdness. “My husband and I mutually hate everyone else. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in,” Kacie wrote. “My husband is weird, so am I. We made four weird kids,” Megan added. “When something weird or funny happens to me, I can’t WAIT to call or text my husband to share it with him. Been happily married for almost 30 years,” Pharmtech commented.

marriage, couples, happy couples, marriage advice, good marriages, couple on beachA couple taking a selfie.via Canva/Photos

Some also noted that even though Seuss may have some thoughtful things to say about love, he wasn’t the most incredible husband. "Unfortunately, Dr. Seuss is a terrible role model for marriage," Missy wrote.

Ultimately, as people age passion will wane in the relationship. Couples who have all the money in the world can still be miserable. Children may bring joy in the long run, but they can make marriage more stressful. But breaking a couple up is hard when their foundation is built on true friendship.

“And that's what a happy marriage is. It's the highest form of friendship,” de Medeiros ends his video. “It's finding someone who feels like your best buddy, like the person you wanna have around you all the time. The person you can't live without. That's what makes a happy marriage, being best friends.”

"I am still a dancer made of song."

Humans have been writing poetry for thousands of years, communicating feelings and ideas in beautiful, powerful ways that prose just can't quite reach. Poetry can be hard to define, but you know it when you see it—or rather, when you feel it.

Emily Dickinson once wrote, “If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.” A poem hits you somewhere—your brain, your heart, your gut. And one poem that packs an incredibly moving punch has come from an unlikely source—an elderly woman with dementia.

elderly woman, dementia, caregiver, poetry, former dancerA woman with dementia wrote a poem with one of her children and it's bringing people to tears.Photo credit: Canva

Poet Joseph Fasano shared a message from a fan who shared that they had brought his book, "The Magic Words: Simple Poetry Prompts That Unlock the Creativity in Everyone," to their mother, a 92-year-old former ballet dancer living with dementia. The mother was excited to write a poem, and they slowly worked through a prompt from the book together aloud.

This poem was the result:

"Let the days be warm

Let the fall be long.

Let every child inside me find her shoes

and dance wildly, softly, toward the world.

I have a story I have never told

Once, when I was small,

I looked up at the sky and saw the wind

and knew I was a dancer made of song.

I am still a dancer made of song."

Wow. What a testament to the power of poetry to reach beyond our usual modes of communication, which dementia so cruelly disrupts. In a few simple lines, we're able to see this woman as she might see herself, as the human living under the veils of age and disease: "I am still a dancer made of song."

Poetry prompts can help people express themselves

The person who shared the poem thanked Fasano for "helping people find their voices," which is exactly what his book of poetry prompts was meant to do.

The Magic Words book by Joseph Fasano, poetry prompts"The Magic Words" is a book of poetry prompts from Joseph Fasano.Amazon


In the book's introduction, Fasano shares that he'd been invited to speak to a class of second graders in New Jersey in 2022 to share "the craft and magic of poetry." As part of his efforts, he came up with a poetry prompt that could "help guide their imaginations" and "unlock the images, thoughts and feelings inside them, without asking them to worry about how to structure a poem." He called the results "astonishing." When he shared one of the students' poems on social media, it and the prompt took off like wildfire, as people who never thought of themselves as poets felt empowered to share their imaginations within that framework.

From 7-year-olds to 92-year-olds, anyone can benefit from the self-expression that poetry facilitates, but many people feel hesitant or intimidated by the idea of writing a poem. Fasano writes, "Poetry is what happens when we let ourselves be," and this idea seems so clear than in the former dancer's poem above. Dementia can create roadblocks, but poetry provides a different avenue of communication.

Caregivers try many different ways to communicate with people living with dementia.Photo credit: Canva

The arts can be a powerful tool for people with dementia

Using poetry to help dementia patients communicate and express themselves isn't just wishful thinking. Studies have demonstrated that cultural arts interventions, including poetry specifically, can be beneficial for people with dementia. In fact, the Alzheimer's Poetry Project (APP) aims to use poetry as a means of improving the quality of life of people living with dementia by facilitating creative expression. "We do not set boundaries in our beliefs in what possible for people with memory impairment to create," the APP website states. "By saying to people with dementia, we value you and your creativity; we are saying we value all members of our community."

Fasano has shared that a team of doctors has begun using his poetry prompts to "give people with dementia a voice again."

Poet Gary Glazner, who founded APP, shared a story with WXPR radio about how he came up with the idea while studying poetry at Sonoma State University:

“I applied for a grant and got a grant to work at an adult care program. The moment I love to share with people is there was a guy in the group, head down, not participating and I said the Longfellow poem. ‘I shot an arrow into the air’ and his eyes popped open and he said, ‘It fell to earth I know not where.’ And suddenly he was with us and participating. It was just this powerful moment to see how poetry could be of use to elders but specifically with people with dementia."

Whether we read it, write it, speak it or hear it, poetry has the power to reach people of all ages in all kinds of mysterious ways.

You can follow Joseph Fasano on Twitter and Instagram, and find his books on Amazon.

This article originally appeared last year.


ChatGPT

Some are a little…too accurate.

You’ve probably heard about how dogs tend to resemble their owners (or rather, how owners tend to pick dogs that resemble them). But this new TikTok trend takes that concept to whole new levels.

Similar to the previous trend of turning yourself into a Barbie doll or action figures, people are now using ChatGPT to transform their pups into humans. Some are eerily realistic, others are laughably weird, but all are incredibly entertaining.

Below is one particularly viral video, where we first see a picture of a red Irish setter demurely laying on a bed. Cut to an equally demure redhead in a green sweat, and even sporting a dog bone necklace, similar to the collar in the previous image.


“Reminds me of Helly from Severance,” one person noted. Another quipped, “oooo she classy.”

Here’s another one for pug lovers (technically this is a Brussels Griffon). The facial expression is uncanny.

“Your dog is Tyrion Lannister,” a Game of Thrones fan wrote.

And yes, this fun is not exclusive to dogs. Any species can go through this AI Animorphing. Over on Reddit, a Calico became a Goth rocker sporting an orange streak and three baby ducks became three yellow clad toddlers, just to name a few.



Going back to TikTok, someone even human-ified a chicken. And it's every bit as great as you’d hope it would be.


@themissysmith the hair, the sass, the bookshelf...nailed it!! 📚🤣 #chatgpt #trending #chicken #pet #pets #booktok #bookish ♬ original sound - MOTORSPORT FILES


Perhaps the greatest thing about this is how easy it is to do.

How to turn your dog into a human with AI using ChatGPT

  1. First, you need to go to the ChatGPT website or app. Then, log in or create an account if you haven’t got one already.
  2. After that, press the + and upload a photo of your dog that you want to turn into a human. Make sure it’s a clear, high-quality image.
  3. Underneath the picture, write this prompt with the correct gender: “What would my *male/female* dog look like as a person?”
  4. Now, all you need to do is click the arrow to send the message and wait for Chat GPT to turn your dog into a human.

Out of curiosity I did this with my cat, Clyde.

Before generating an image ChatGPT was kind enough to imagine his personality, which was quite enjoyable. The "he probably drinks coffee or herbal tea” part was my favorite.

After a few minutes, a human version of Clyde appeared…who is apparently Hozier.

To get a little more specific, I then added some things about his personality: he’s affectionate, sweet, soulful, and sometimes a bit mischievous. Here's what ChatGPT came up with:

So…happy Hozier. Honestly it’s pretty spot on.

As with most things ChatGPT, it helps to be as specific as possible. Lucky for pet owners, they could talk about their fur babies all day! With all the unsavory news regarding AI, it’s nice to have something pretty wholesome thrown in the mix.

Adam Trunell

The Goodbye Line project

There are times when we want to say goodbye to a person, a concept, a city, an inner child, or even just an idea, but, for whatever reason, that opportunity has passed. Maybe the recipient is unavailable and what's left is a void that leaves our well-wishes with no real place to land.

Documentary filmmaker Adam Trunell and his partner Alexis Wood wanted to help fill that void by not only giving a creative outlet to help people bid adieu, but to create a sense of community by sharing it with people online. We all experience loss, heartbreak, grief—and this seemed like a way to strip down to our most vulnerable memories, perhaps the ones that got snagged somewhere, in order to process them so that we can let them go.

One of the reels on The Goodbye Line TikTok page (@thegoodbyeline) simply states: "The void calls. We answer." And that's exactly how it works. From any payphone (or cell phone, if one wishes), a person can call a toll-free number. A recording answers to welcome them to "The Goodbye Line," explaining, "This payphone, like us, is here now but won't be forever." From there, one is encouraged to leave a goodbye, fleeting thought, or poem—whatever they need to get off their hearts. If they want to opt out of having their stories shared on social media, they just have to say so in the call.

@thegoodbyeline

The void calls. We answer.


Upworthy spoke with Adam and Alexis about how this unique art/social project sparked. Adam shares, "It came out of a rainy day conversation about loss and community, and we sort of walked backwards into an idea. We designed a sticker, put it up on some of the remaining payphones around LA, and couldn’t say whether we’d get a single call. They come in now all day, every day, and run the full spectrum of goodbyes. There’s no single type of goodbye, but every message is an attempt to pin something down before it disappears completely. And a reminder that loss, in all its forms, connects us."

The line doesn't speak back, he tells us. "The line just listens. It doesn’t judge, doesn’t interrupt, doesn’t try to make things OK. It just takes what you give it, without question, and holds it. And sometimes that’s enough.”

What's even more impactful is the community of people who listen to these goodbyes. "The fact people show up and listen, and follow, and comment and share, tells us that grief isn’t just about loss. It’s about connection. And mourning isn’t just something we do in private — it’s also deeply communal. So that even if we aren’t the ones speaking, we can hear ourselves in other people's messages.”

Alexis adds that because there are so many different versions of "loss," the calls range in tone. "A lot of the calls are about losing someone who’s passed, but there are just as many about losing relationships or friendships with people who are still alive. And honestly, I don’t think we talk about that kind of loss enough.”

She explains how the payphones themselves have become a character in the art piece. "There’s something raw and immediate about stumbling on a payphone out in the world—it catches people off guard, and that moment feels different than someone who finds us through Instagram and comes in with a bit more context. What’s even more fascinating is how each payphone seems to absorb the energy of its neighborhood. They take on their own personalities—what gets said, who picks up the phone—it all shifts depending on where they are. The calls start to reflect the place, and that’s been one of the most powerful parts of this whole thing.”

payphone, phone, landline, the goodbye line, phone calls, closureThe Goodbye Line Payphone project Photo credited to Adam Trunell

Adam acknowledges how complex letting go can be. "There are some things we never get to say, and that doesn’t just disappear. Loss doesn’t have an expiration date. Some goodbyes take years to find a voice. And when they do, for a moment, even saying a name can restore a presence. You hear it in the messages; sometimes people pick up the phone and don’t know what they’re holding onto until they say it out loud.”