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Jimmy has built a wonderful life, but his diagnosis presented some unexpected challenges.

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Muscular Dystrophy Association

Growing up, Jimmy Valdes' parents raised him to focus on all the things he could do, not the things he couldn’t.

Jimmy was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) in 1971 when he was only 4 years old. SMA is a degenerative spinal disease that causes weakness of the voluntary muscles — often those in the shoulders, thighs, hips, and back. People who have it usually need assistance to complete physical tasks.

Check out Jimmy's story here, or read more below:

As Cuban immigrants, Jimmy's parents were driven and determined to give their family the most normal life possible. They took him on family vacations. He played catch with his dad. He went to school and went on dates and read comic books.

His parents made it clear to him that he would always need help but that nothing was impossible. And he believed them. Jimmy told Upworthy, "If not for the decisions they made back then, my life wouldn't have turned out the way it did. And it's still a work in progress, it's every day, every week, every month."

Jimmy can't do everything, though, and needs caretakers to assist him through his daily routine.

He needs help completing all physical activities, from hygiene to meal prep to transportation. This is a reality that he's dealt with for most of his life, and he hasn't let it limit him.

There are systems and programs in place to help people like Jimmy who live with disabilities. Unfortunately, those supports sometimes fall short. Jimmy’s reality is proof of that.

All images via Muscular Dystrophy Association/YouTube.

You see, in spite of Jimmy’s severe disability, he does not qualify for disability benefits.

He's the breadwinner in his family — he has worked for CBS for over 20 years — and because he earns an income that exceeds the amount allowed, Jimmy does not qualify for disability benefits through the Social Security Administration that would help him pay for the care and services necessary to live his everyday life.

Almost all of his care he pays for out-of-pocket.

And the costs are astronomical. He said he spends hundreds per week on caretakers. He even quipped that he's been audited by the IRS a number of times because they couldn't believe that a single man had such exorbitant expenses.

As he put it, "it costs more for me to live life."

The Social Security Administration makes it clear that it's possible to work and receive benefits, so long as your earnings aren't "substantial." What does that mean? For 2016, the SSA site says that per month, "we consider earnings over $1,130 ($1,820 if you're blind) to be substantial."

So, you can be making a barely livable wage, especially in a city as notoriously expensive as New York City and not qualify. If you make more than the figures mentioned above, your care isn't covered.

This is Jimmy's dilemma, and he’s not the only one.

The Muscular Dystrophy Association shared a post on Facebook asking for comments and insight regarding efforts to work while dealing with a muscle-debilitating disease. The responses are telling.

One person mentions that, like Jimmy, he doesn’t meet the stringent income requirements to receive benefits, but that "as long as I can work that is a far more fulfilling life then having to watch every cent to be sure I'm poor enough." Another person mentions that she is "afraid to get any kind of raise or promotion due to income caps."

These are men and women who want nothing more than to live life on their terms but who are, in effect, limited by a policy that is meant to serve them.

The very system that was built to support them has let them down.

As hard as it may be to pay for his care and continue supporting his family, Jimmy isn't letting it prevent him from living the life he dreamed of.

He continues to work because he genuinely likes what he does. He's built a career and has a network of people who support him. He met and married the love of his life and is devoted to her and her family, all of whom remain a source of endless inspiration for him. He goes to concerts and games and makes every effort to enjoy the life he's worked so hard to build.

In addition to working hard toward his own self-sufficiency, Jimmy is focused on helping others in a similar situation have the opportunity to live life on their terms.

He wants to use his voice to bring awareness to the issues that people who have disabilities face and to help find solutions. He wants everyone to have the opportunity to live life their way, much as he has. And he wants the systems that are built to support people like himself to not be the very thing that limits them.

He's not yet sure where to start, but he's determined.


People with disabilities can and do live meaningful and contributing lives, and we can work together to help ensure that the systems intended to lift up individuals with disabilities do not hold them back.

MDA is proud to be part of the collective effort to break down barriers to meaningful employment for those living with disabilities, including looking at ways to help individuals work while keeping benefits like personal care in place. Get involved today by joining MDA’s advocacy efforts, contributing to help individuals like Jimmy live unlimited, or sharing your story about how you balance employment and personal care needs by emailing advocacy@mdausa.org.

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Parenting

Yet another school district shifts to 4-day week and parents are sounding off

So... when are we getting the matching 4-day work week?

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When talking with other parents I know, it's hard not to sound like a grumpy old man when we get around to discussing school schedules. "Am I the only one who feels like kids have so many days off? I never got that many days off when I was a kid! And I had to go work in the coal mine after, too!" I know what I sound like, but I just can't help it.

In Georgia, where I live, we have a shorter summer break than some other parts of the country. But my kids have the entire week of Thanksgiving off, a week in September, two whole weeks at Christmas, a whole week off in February, and a weeklong spring break. They have asynchronous days (during which they complete assignments at home, which usually takes about 30 minutes) about once a month, and they have two or three half-day weeks throughout the year. Quite honestly, it feels like they're never in school for very long before they get another break, which makes it tough to get in a rhythm with work and career goals. Plus, we're constantly arranging day camps and other childcare options for all the time off. Actually, I just looked it up and I'm not losing my mind: American kids have fewer school days than most other major countries.

So it caught my attention in a major way when I read that Whitney Independent School District in Texas recently decided to enact a 4-day week heading into the 2025 school year. That makes it one of dozens of school districts in Texas to make the change and over 900 nationally.


Giphy

The thought of having the kids home from school EVERY Friday or Monday makes me want to break out in stress hives. But this 4-day school week movement isn't designed to give parents a headache. It's meant to lure teachers back to work.

Yes, teachers are leaving the profession in droves and young graduates don't seem eager to replace them. Why? The pay is bad, for starters, but that's just the beginning. Teachers are burnt out, undermined and criticized relentlessly, held hostage by standardized testing, and more. It can be a grueling, demoralizing, and thankless job. The love and passion they have for shaping the youth of tomorrow can only take you so far when you feel like you're constantly getting the short end of the stick.

School districts want to pay their teachers more, in theory, but their hands are often tied. So they're getting creative to recruit the next generation of teachers into their schools — starting with an extra day off for planning, catch-up, or family time every week.

Teachers in 4-day districts often love the new schedule. Kids love it (obviously). It's the parents who, as a whole, aren't super thrilled.

Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

So far, the data shows that the truncated schedule perk is working. In these districts, job applications for teachers are up, retirements are down, and teachers are reporting better mental well-being. That's great news!

But these positive developments may be coming at the price of the working parents in the communities. Most early adopters of the 4-day week have been rural communities with a high prevalence of stay-at-home parents. As the idea starts to take hold in other parts of the country, it's getting more pushback. Discussions on Reddit, Facebook, and other social media are overrun with debate on how this is all going to shake up. Some parents, to be fair, like the idea! If they stay-at-home or have a lot of flexibility, they see it as an opportunity for more family time. But many are feeling anxious. Here's what's got those parents worried:

The effect on students' achievement is still unclear.

The execution of the 4-day week varies from district to district. Some schools extend the length of each of the four days, making the total instructional time the same. That makes for a really long day, and some teachers say the students are tired and more unruly by the late afternoon. Some districts are just going with less instruction time overall, which has parents concerned that their kids might fall behind.

4-day school weeks put parents in a childcare bind.

Having two working parents is becoming more common and necessary with the high cost of living. I know, I know — "school isn't daycare!" But it is the safe, reliable, and educational place we send our kids while we need to work.

Families with money and resources may be able to enroll their kids in more academics, extracurriculars, sports, or childcare, but a lot of normal families won't be able to afford that cost. Some schools running a 4-day week offer a paid childcare option for the day off, but that's an added expense and for families with multiple kids in the school system, it's just not possible.

This will inevitably end with some kids getting way more screentime.

With most parents still working 5-day weeks, and the cost of extra activities or childcare too high, a lot of kids are going to end up sitting around on the couch with their iPad on those days off. I'm no expert, and I'm certainly not against screentime, but adding another several hours of it to a child's week seems less than ideal.

Of course there are other options other than paid childcare and iPads. There are play dates, there's getting help from family and friends. All of these options are an enormous amount of work to arrange for parents who are already at capacity.

Working 4 days is definitely a win for teachers that makes the job more appealing. But it doesn't address the systemic issues that are driving them to quit, retire early, or give up their dreams of teaching all together.

Giphy

A Commissioner of Education from Missouri calls truncated schedules a "band-aid solution with diminishing returns." Having an extra planning day won't stop teachers from getting scapegoated by politicians or held to impossible curriculum standards, it won't keep them from having to buy their own supplies or deal with ever-worsening student behavior.

Some teachers and other experts have suggested having a modified 5-day school week, where one of the days gets set aside as a teacher planning day while students are still on-site participating in clubs, music, art — you know, all the stuff that's been getting cut in recent years. Something like that could work in some places.

As a dad, I don't mind the idea of my busy kids having an extra day off to unwind, pursue hobbies, see friends, catch up on projects, or spend time as a family. And I'm also very much in favor of anything that takes pressure off of overworked teachers. But until we adopt a 4-day work week as the standard, the 4-day school week is always going to feel a little out of place.


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Pop Culture

Waxers, nurses, and doctors share what they're really thinking about your 'privates.'

You're probably not as special or weird as you think.

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There's no need to feel self conscious.

Body dysmorphia really knows no bounds. We tend to think of insecurities as focusing on things like the flatness of our stomachs or the size of our noses. But perhaps the thing that people are most self-conscious about is the thing we actually talk about the least.

According to one study, about 30% of men are "dissatisfied" with the size, shape, or appearance of their penis. That number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vaginas. A survey done by Refinery29 showed that almost half of women had "concerns" about the appearance of their vulva.

The numbers say anywhere from a third to a half or more of all people think there's something wrong with the way our private parts look. Which begs the question: If we all think we're weird, is anybody really weird at all?

A fascinating Reddit thread recently polled experts on this very topic—people who tend to see an awful lot of genitals in their line of work: Waxing technicians or estheticians. The responses were oddly inspiring.

The prompt asked, "Waxers, how often are you surprised by how a clients genitals look?"

Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. As did doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and lots of other pros who work closely with people's unmentionables.

Here are a few of the best responses:

Laura Woolf/Flickr


"Gonna chime in as a doctor - and I would imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. WE. DONT. CARE. And in my case I would be surprised if you’d show me something I’ve never seen before." - feelgoodx

"I use to be very self conscious and insecure about my genitals. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Just clean yourself before coming in." - Wild-Clementine

"Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every single day I work, often multiple, and frequently about 3 feet from my face with a spotlight on it lol. Not much surprises me. Most are out of my memory by the time they're clothed or covered up. When it comes to genitals you want to be unremarkable." - tlotd

"Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work." - Important-Tackle

"never. i have seen it all. scars, hyperpigmentation, unevenness; none of it surprises me. just please wash yourself before coming to me." - pastelmorning

"Nothing surprises me, I'm mostly just focusing on the hair, but i do have a client who has a tuft of hair on the underside of his shaft near the tip of his penis we call his downstairs soul patch." - noorisms

Two big takeaways:

First, outside of obvious mutilations or pathologies, nothing stands out to people who are extremely knowledgeable about genitals. Differences in size, shape, and structure are totally normal and barely even register on the radar!

Second, no matter what you look like down there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends far beyond the borders of the esthetician's office!

Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can be.

gourd and white tape measure on blue surfaceEmbarrassment about the nether regions is normal, but it can be harmful if not checked. Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

It's bizarre and tragic that unrealistic beauty standards actually effect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing anxiety about the way their genitals look.

Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively impacted by bad self-image and anxiety over the way they look naked. When the shame is really bad, it can hold them back in relationships, or even stop them from seeking them in the first place.

Fear of being judged or humiliated can stop women in particular from not just going in for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist or asking potentially-embarrassing but critical and life-saving health questions.

If you've ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from the people who have seen hundreds if not thousands of genitals up close and personal, in the most unflattering lighting and from the worst angles possible: You're totally normal!

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Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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Parenting

Woman who gave her baby up for adoption gets a wonderful surprise from the new family

"You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right?”

via CBS News/YouTube

A journal detailing Steven Schoebinger's young life.

At Upworthy, we love sharing the “best of humanity” with our audience, and this story out of Utah, originally reported by CBS News’ Steve Hartman, shows the power of love to break down barriers.

When Schauna Austin, 48, was 20 years old, she got pregnant and knew she wasn’t ready to raise a child, so she made the difficult decision to give the baby up for adoption. She gave birth to a son she named Riley and only had three days to spend with him before surrendering him to his new family.

So, she held him tight for 72 hours straight.

"It was perfect," Austin said about those three emotionally-charged days. "I knew I would have him for a short time, so I made every minute count of it. I didn't sleep for three days." It must have been tough for Austin to give up her son because the grieving process of surrender and adoption can be incredibly difficult.

Riley, renamed Steven, was given to Chris and Jennifer Schoebinger in a closed adoption, where Austin was not to be informed about the adoptive family. In Utah, closed adoptions are a rarity these days, with about 95% allowing some exchange of information between the birth and adoptive parents.

However, about a week later, the Schoebingers had a change of heart.

The Schoebingers decided Austin should be involved in Steven’s life. "It was like, 'OK, this is the way it should be. She was part of our family,'" Jennifer told CBS News. "You know, you can't have too many people loving you, right? Why couldn't he be both of ours?" Chris added.

Every year, the Schoebingers sent Austin pictures and bound journals showing Steven's journey in deep detail. They even had lists of all the new words he learned each year. The books were titled “The Life and Times of ‘Riley,’” paying homage to Steven’s original name.

The hope was that one day when the biological mother and son were ready, they could pick up where they left off. That moment came when Steven was seven years old and Austin taught him to fish.

The unique arrangement has been fantastic for both Austin and her biological son. "I was blessed beyond words," Austin said. "I kind of got the best of both worlds, for sure," Steven agreed. It may seem like relationships between children and those who gave them up for adoption would be complicated, but studies show that 84% of adoptees reported high levels of satisfaction when maintaining ongoing contact with their birth parents.

Steven is now 27 and in August 2022, he and his wife, Kayla, had their first child, a boy they named Riley. Austin is now a grandmother.

The remarkable story of Austin and the Schoebinger family proves that when we put walls between ourselves and others, we are often blocking everyone off from more love and support. "I think the lesson we learned is that sometimes we create barriers where barriers don't need to be. And when we pull down those barriers, we really find love on the other side," Chris said.


This article originally appeared last year.

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Joy

'Girl, I get it': Opossum devours a whole tuxedo cake from Costco and people totally relate

The wildlife rescue's report was hilarious.

Photo credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

The Nebraska Wildlife Rehab center treated an opossum for overindulgence.

When you work at a wildlife rescue, you never know what kind of clientele you're going to get. But the folks at Nebraska Wildlife Rehab found themselves helping an adorable and extra-relatable opossum who devoured almost an entire Costco cake, all by herself, the week before Valentine's Day.

The opossum was caught red-handed by real estate agent Kim Doggett, who had set the Costco chocolate mousse tuxedo cake outside to stay cold when she ran out of room in her refrigerator. Her son was taking another dessert outside to chill as well when he told his mom there was the opossum on the patio sofa.

"I really thought he was messing with me," Doggett told CNN. "So I went over and I turned the light on, I opened the door, and I was like, ‘Oh my.' And then I was like, ‘Oh, it ate the Costco cake.’" Full-bellied, the opossum was lying there panting among the chocolate handprints she'd left behind.

After trying to shoo away the animal without success, Doggett began to worry that maybe the cake was poisonous to the opossum, so she called the American Humane Society. They picked up the indulger and transported her to Nebraska Wildlife Rehab.

Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.Photo credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

The rehab shared a photo of the opossum on Facebook with the message:

"Sometimes a sweet tooth just can’t wait until Valentine's Day! This Virginia opossum was admitted today after reportedly devouring an ENTIRE Costco chocolate cake. With some time in rehab (and a diet reset), this choco-holic should be stabilized enough to return to the wild but until then, she is definitely a little cranky about our strict 'zero chocolate' policy! Same, opossum.... same."

Nebraska Wildlife Rehab said it's actually a good thing she ate so much that she barely move, as it prompted the call to have her evaluated and treated for possible toxicosis.

Not your average intake notePhoto credit: Nebraska Wildlife Rehab, Inc.

People were happy to know she was going to be okay and also welcomed her to the club of cake lovers:

"I relate to this opossum on a spiritual level."

"We’ve all been there, girl."

"I have also begun to breath heavily after eating an entire cake by myself. Maybe not Costco but it definitely has happened more than once. I get it gurl. I get it."

"Sometimes a gal needs a little chocolate."

"STOP SHAMING HER. An entire Costco cake in one sitting is totally normal. Nothing to see here."

"Well, technically if she ate the whole cake at once, she only had one piece. That's my math and I'm sticking to it."

Anyone who's had Costco's tuxedo cake understands. It's…well, just look at it.

Laura Stastny, Executive Director of Nebraska Wildlife Rehab tells Upworthy that the opossum is is being "a model patient" for their staff as she continues to be treated for lead toxicity (not cake related). The staff are delighted that the opossum's story been so popular. "We thought it was funny and entirely relatable—who doesn't want to eat that Costco cake?" Stastny says.

The Doggett family "did everything right" once they discovered the opossum, making sure that she got the care she needed, Stasney explains. "We definitely recommend that people don't leave food unattended outside, but I don't think they could have predicted an opossum would have come out during the day, looking for food on their deck table!" she says.

"Opossums are peaceful and beneficial animals, and we hope this story helps people love and respect them as much as we do," she adds. "We're so happy this family is awaiting her return to their neighborhood."

People have become so enamored with the "Cake Bandit" that Nebraska Wildlife Rehab has created "Wanted: Cake Bandit" shirts that fans can buy to support their rehabilitation efforts. People can also donate to her care directly here.


t-shirt"Wanted: Cake Bandit" t-shirts help support Nebraska Wildlife Rehabdynamic.bonfireassets.com


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