Jeff Sessions just became the U.S. attorney general. Here's what to do next.

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Lawyers' Committee for Civil Rights

Do something with the emotions you are feeling right now.

On Feb. 8, 2017, Sen. Jeff Sessions was confirmed as our nation's next attorney general in a final vote of 52-47. The Republican from Alabama abstained from voting for himself, and one Democrat voted for him.

Despite resistance and pushback from many organizations — including an open letter from 1,424 law professors from 180 universities in 49 states asking to reject Sessions on the grounds that "it is unacceptable for someone with Senator Sessions’ record to lead the Department of Justice," testimony from civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-Georgia), a different hearing 30 years ago when a bipartisan group of eight Democrats and two Republicans voted to reject his appointment to the federal bench due in part to a black lawyer testifying that Sessions called him "boy," evidence of his ongoing relationship with problematic organizations (*cough* white supremacists *cough*) — Sessions was voted into office.

Presumably, for the next four years, he will be President Donald Trump's chief law enforcement officer, overseeing how the laws are interpreted around immigration, elections, the War on Drugs, you name it.

It means the next few years could be challenging, to say the least.

Here are 19 real things you can do right now to make sure our justice system is working for everyone.

1. First of all: Don’t freak out. Don’t panic. Don’t give up hope.

We've lived through a lot in our short time on this planet. The world didn’t end when Bush was in charge. Obama didn’t burn civil rights to the ground either or take away everyone's guns. You’re still here. And there are ways to push back. Heck, some judges are already helping with that.

2. Maybe you’ve already donated to the ACLU. But there are other organizations that need your support too.

The ACLU has already raised six times what they normally do online in a year. Which is awesome.

— (@)

But there are so many other organizations doing important work too, and they aren't getting the same attention the ACLU has garnered in recent weeks. So, if you can swing it, help out organizations like the Center for Constitutional Rights, the National Lawyers Guild, and ProPublica that are also doing important work and could use the money too.

3. Support organizations led by people of color who are fighting for justice and equality on the ground.

Organizations like Black Youth Project 100 are creating the next generation of black leaders. There are a lot of brilliant and talented people of color out there doing super-smart things to help make our country more equitable with a focus on racial justice. But fighting for equality and justice isn’t something that tends to be a huge moneymaker, so many people do it with little or no compensation.

Fortunately,The Safety Pin Box recently came onto the scene. It's an amazing business with two important goals: 1. to turn white allyship into meaningful action toward racial justice and 2. more importantly, to fund black women who are doing hard work to change things for the better. The majority of proceeds from their monthly subscriptions are gifted to black female organizers who are doing said work. Their work will be keywith Sessions in charge. Like their Facebook page if you want to learn more. And then subscribe. (If you need to know why you should subscribe, read this.)

4. Be ready for the midterm elections in 2018.

Take a few minutes right now to set a calendar reminder to vote so you can let the candidates who did (or didn't) vote for Sessions and who are up for re-election in 2018 know exactly how you feel about that. We’re still dealing with election fatigue from a tumultuous 2016, but midterms really are just around the corner. Stay informed and get involved. And make sure you vote.

Remember, Sessions has a history of prosecuting people who help others vote, as Evelyn Turner experienced firsthand.

Which brings us to…

5. Support organizations that help protect people’s voting rights.

Sessions has a history of being a little aggressive about opposing voter rights. In 2013, he called the gutting of the Voting Rights Act "good news … for the South." The GOP has already started to take steps to eliminate the election commission that helps states protect the vote.

So check out organizations that report about and protect the vote, like Let America Vote, Color of Change, and the Voting Rights Institute.

6. Do you know what Black Lives Matter REALLY represents? Maybe it's time to refresh your memory.

One of the criticisms often lobbied at any activist movement — but especially at the Black Lives Matter movement, unjustifiably — is that there is no clear set of goals. That all changed when Patrisse Cullors, Opal Tometi, Alicia Garza — who founded Black Lives Matter — and their allies rolled out their guiding principles document, a comprehensive guide to fighting for racial justice in America. Their website has policy agendas, actions you can take, and ways to get involved on a national and local level.

Another organization, Campaign Zero, also has a platform specifically addressing how to reform police departments, offering solutions that will make life better for all involved. If you are a white person looking to get involved, you might also want to check out Showing Up for Racial Justice, which has local chapters across the country.

7. Support organizations that are acting as watchdogs of the Justice Department.

Speaking of policing and crime, Sessions has a history of being a hardliner who prefers harsh sentences for even nonviolent crimes. The Brennan Center for Justice has been keeping track of his long record of filling prisons instead of rehabilitating offenders. Sessions has been very hesitant to let the federal government help reform city and state police departments. He’s blocked common-sense sentencing reforms that even Republicans wanted to implement. And he’s a fan of private prisons.

We wouldn’t know that without checking out organizations like the Brennan Center. So Like them on Facebook, and, if you can, donate to help protect folks.

8. Take some time to learn about the Innocence Project and the Equal Justice Initiative.

About 1 in 25 people sentenced to death in the United States ultimately would be exonerated for a false conviction (if time on death row were unlimited). The Innocence Project is on the front lines of death penalty reform, helping to get innocent people who are wrongly convicted off of death row.

Then, for those who actually did commit crimes in a system that is fundamentally broken, the Equal Justice Initiative is there to call out bonkers things like the fact that taxpayers spend $182 billion a year on mass incarceration or that there are 10,000 children stuck in adult prisons as we speak.

Learn more about them the easy way. Like the Innocence Project and Equal Justice Initiative on Facebook.

9. Learn about hate groups, since Trump no longer is interested in what they do.

A recent survey of law enforcement agencies discovered that law enforcement is far more worried about right-wing extremism and terrorism hurting Americans than the threat of Islamic terrorism.

Since the Trump administration decided not to track terrorism by right-wing or white extremist groups, make sure you’re following the Southern Poverty Law Center. They keep track of hate groups in America.

10. Consider running for office locally. Yes, you. You can do it.

As they say, all politics is local. In many ways, what’s happening on Main Streets across America is just as consequential as what’s happening in Washington. Start attending your local city council meetings, and — better yet — run for office on the promise to uphold civil rights and social justice in every way you know how.

— (@)

11. Support groups that fight for immigrant rights.

A lot of immigration groups will be under attack in the Trump White House. We know this because Trump has already picked a fight with the entire judicial branch of government over his poorly thought-out Muslim ban.

Check out Informed Immigrant for resources. The National Immigration Law Center is on the front lines of the Muslim ban in assisting immigrants with legal advice. The Black Alliance for Just Immigration is helping fight for the rights of black immigrants. Mijente is on the ground, confronting immigrant abuse by government at the source.

12. National organizations get a lot of attention, but did you know many of them have local branches that need help too?

There are lots of smaller groups doing great work protecting and ensuring progress on social justice at the state and local levels (the ACLU has local affiliates, for starters). Ask around. Do some digging.

Also check out Movement 2017, where you can find lots of local organizations that need financial and volunteer support, and see if there are ways for you to get involved and support these efforts in your own backyard.

13. Share this video of Sen. Elizabeth Warren reading the 1986 letter written by Coretta Scott King opposing Sessions for a position as a federal judge.

Ya know, the one most GOP senators don’t want you to hear. King penned a powerful piece in 1986 specifying why Sessions’ controversial record suppressing the rights of black voters in Alabama should disqualify him from a federal judgeship. Warren tried to read the letter aloud before the Senate but was silenced by the GOP-controlled chamber.

Do her a favor — watch and share the video below:

During the debate on whether to make Jeff Sessions the next Attorney General, I tried to read a letter from Coretta Scott King on the floor of the Senate. The letter, from 30 years ago, urged the Senate to reject the nomination of Jeff Sessions to a federal judgeship. The Republicans took away my right to read this letter on the floor - so I'm right outside, reading it now.
Posted by U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren on Tuesday, February 7, 2017

14. Learn about gerrymandering with this super-fun video from "Adam Ruins Everything" so you know what's at stake in 2018 ... and 2020.

Show this video about gerrymandering to anyone who says “gerrywhatnow?” when you bring up the way voting districts can be redrawn to create party majorities. Sessions will probably be doing everything he can to protect this process.

15. Watch the documentary "13th" on Netflix (or read "The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness," the book that inspired the film).

This Oscar-nominateddocumentary was directed by Ava DuVernay ("Selma") and currently boasts a 97% fresh score on Rotten Tomatoes. Its title comes from the 13th Amendment to the Constitution, which states: "Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States."

If you want to better understand the way America’s modern system of mass incarceration is rooted in slavery and racism, "13th" is an eye-opening trip through history.

“By the time her movie ends, Ms. DuVernay has delivered a stirring treatise on the prison industrial complex through a nexus of racism, capitalism, policies and politics. It sounds exhausting, but it’s electrifying.”
— Manohla Dargis' review of "13th" in The New York Times

16. Make sure your bank isn't investing in private prisons, and divest from it if you can.

Several large U.S. banks — namely Bank of America, Wells Fargo, JPMorgan Chase, BNP Paribas, SunTrust, and U.S. Bancorp — help finance debt by CoreCivic and The GEO, two major private-prison companies. In other words, your bank may be helping keep highly unethical private prisons — which rely on an increasing supply of inmates to make their money — thriving. Divest from the banks that support this practice, and spread the word.

17. Support survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence.

Sessions isn’t exactly known for being a champion for women and survivors of sexual violence. In 1994, he voted against the Violence Against Women Act — a fact that wasn’t lost on Sen. Patrick Leahy, who pressed Sessions on his "no" vote earlier this month.

There are a lot of ways to support local women's shelters doing vital work in protecting and advocating for survivors, whether it be volunteering your time with them or donating to shelters in your area. Also, take the time to get to know orgs fighting to create better policies on college campuses, like Know Your IX and SurvJustice.

— (@)

18. Help pay off the often steep legal fees for those searching for justice.

Funded Justice, an online crowdsourcing platform, allows people to raise money from friends, family, and strangers to help pay their legal fees. Unfortunately, while justice is blind, our justice system isn’t; if you have the money to pay for the best lawyers and legal resources, you’re more likely to get the results you want. This means low-income defendants aren’t given a fair shake. (For more on this, check out the documentary "Gideon's Army.") Funded Justice helps level the playing field.

19. Follow writers who are speaking out about our broken systems.

Read Ijeoma Oluo’s open letter to white people who want to help. Read Rewire’s list of grassroots legal all-stars fighting for justice. Expand your mind and check out our list of 23 incredible black women activists. Seek out new writers every single day.

We've got a long road ahead of us. It's important to stay sane, stay healthy, and stay informed.

There's probably going to be a lot of depressing news being thrown at you for the foreseeable future. Don't block it all out; that's how they win. They want you to feel overwhelmed. Don't give them the satisfaction.

You won’t know what these organizations are doing if they aren’t in your feed, your email inbox, or your mailbox. Take the time to go back through this article and Like the Facebook pages of the orgs that resonate with you. It'll only take five minutes out of your day. It'll help you keep up to date with what we're up against.

And just to say it: If you do feel overwhelmed, take a break from Facebook when you need to. We're all gonna need one occasionally. That's normal.

When that break is over, get back to helping make sure we all live in a more equitable world someday in the future. And make sure to continue to share important information with your community. Share, donate, volunteer, and support folks who are doing the hard work on the ground.

Visit Sweden

Education

Sweden makes stunning decision to trademark its name to avoid confusion

The country is taking historic steps to fix the problem.

via Visit Sweden (used with permission)

A Swedish woman taking things into her own hands.

True

Sweden has existed for over 1,000 years, but travelers across the globe are confused because other places, inspired by the country’s untouched beauty and joyously inclusive culture, have taken its name.

Seven other places in the world call themselves Sweden, so to distinguish itself from the name-alikes, the Kingdom of Sweden is taking a bold, historic step that no country has before. It’s become the first to apply to trademark its name with the European Union Intellectual Property Office.

Visit Sweden likens the country’s problem to a luxury brand that has to contend with dupes, knockoffs, or bootlegs that fall short of the glory of the genuine article.

“It’s flattering that other places want to be called Sweden, but let’s be honest, there should only be one. Our Sweden. The one with the Northern Lights, endless forests, and the world’s best flat-pack furniture,” says Susanne Andersson, CEO at Visit Sweden.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

By trademarking its name, Sweden will make things much less confusing for travelers worldwide. It’d be a shame for someone looking to visit Sweden’s majestic Lapland to mistakenly wind up in a place with no reindeer, Aurora Borealis, or cloudberries to be found.

The world-class research team at Visit Sweden knew it had to act when it realized that other destinations with the same name had tripped up travelers. People looking to vacation in Portland, Oregon, have accidentally wound up in Portland, Maine. Travelers yearning to experience the fall in Manchester, New Hampshire, have been deplaning in Manchester, England. “It happens more than you think!” the researchers admitted.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation The Northern Lights in Sweden. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Jann Lipka/imagebank.sweden.se

The E.U. Intellectual Property Office must act swiftly and allow Sweden to trademark its name so that travelers worldwide don’t miss the opportunity to experience an utterly unique country known for its serene landscapes, commitment to deep relaxation and personal freedom.

No one should ever miss out on staying on one of Sweden’s 267,570 islands, more than any other country. The Swedish archipelagos offer luxurious glamping, peaceful hikes, tranquil solitude and awe-inspiring, pristine nature.

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A woman camping in the Swedish archipelago.via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Anders Klapp/imagebank.sweden.se

Sweden is a beautiful place to visit all year round, with bright summers, colorful falls, vibrant springs and dark, crisp winters. It is also a place to delight your tastebuds with a cuisine centered on healthy, locally sourced produce, with some preparation methods dating back to the Viking era.

The original Sweden is a place where one can relish Old World European history while also enjoying the modern pleasures of the most progressive countries in the world. Travelers can be whisked back into history by visiting the Naval Port of Karlskona, a well-preserved European naval town from 1680. Or, enjoy cutting-edge design, delicacies, art, music and culture in hip metropolitan destinations such as Stockholm or Sweden’s “coolest city,” Gothenburg.

Did we mention Sweden has an ABBA museum? Wait till the other 7 Swedens find out about that.

As you can see, Sweden is an incredibly unique destination that cannot be duplicated. It would be a tragedy for anyone intending to visit the original Sweden to mistakenly find themselves in a name-alike place that lacks its Scandinavian charm. You can do your part to stop the confusion by signing a petition to let Sweden trademark Sweden at Visit Sweden (the original).

sweden, visit sweden, swedish vacation A Swedish Midsommar celebration. via Visit Sweden, Photographer: Stefan Berg/Folio/imagebank.sweden.se

From Your Site Articles

Innovation

Astronaut shares the profound 'big lie' he realized after seeing the Earth from space

This change in perspective could change humanity.

via Rubén Moreno Montolíu/Flickr

Our home, from space.

Sixty-one years ago, Yuri Gagarin became the first human to make it into space and probably the first to experience what scientists now call the "overview effect." This change occurs when people see the world from far above and notice that it’s a place where “borders are invisible, where racial, religious and economic strife are nowhere to be seen.”

The overview effect makes man’s squabbles with one another seem incredibly petty and presents the planet as it truly is, one interconnected organism.

In a compelling interview with Big Think, astronaut, author and humanitarian Ron Garan explains how if more of us developed this planetary perspective we could fix much of what ails humanity and the planet.

Garan has spent 178 days in space and traveled more than 71 million miles in 2,842 orbits. From high above, he realized that the planet is a lot more fragile than he thought.

“When I looked out the window of the International Space Station, I saw the paparazzi-like flashes of lightning storms, I saw dancing curtains of auroras that seemed so close it was as if we could reach out and touch them. And I saw the unbelievable thinness of our planet's atmosphere. In that moment, I was hit with the sobering realization that that paper-thin layer keeps every living thing on our planet alive,” Garan said in the video.

“I saw an iridescent biosphere teeming with life,” he continues. “I didn't see the economy. But since our human-made systems treat everything, including the very life-support systems of our planet, as the wholly owned subsidiary of the global economy, it's obvious from the vantage point of space that we're living a lie.”

It was at that moment he realized that humanity needs to reevaluate its priorities.

“We need to move from thinking economy, society, planet to planet, society, economy. That's when we're going to continue our evolutionary process,” he added.

Garan says that we are paying a very “high price” as a civilization for our inability to develop a more planetary perspective and that it’s a big reason why we’re failing to solve many of our problems. Even though our economic activity may improve quality of life on one end, it’s also disasterous for the planet that sustains our lives.

It’s like cutting off our nose to spite our face.

Actor William Shatner had a similar experience to Garan's when he traveled into space.

"It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered," Shatner wrote. "The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna … things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind."

“We're not going to have peace on Earth until we recognize the basic fact of the interrelated structure of all reality,” Garan said.

However dire the situation looks from the surface of Earth, the astronaut has hope that we can collectively evolve in consciousness and wake up and embrace a larger reality. “And when we can evolve beyond a two-dimensional us versus them mindset, and embrace the true multi-dimensional reality of the universe that we live in, that's when we're going to no longer be floating in darkness … and it's a future that we would all want to be a part of. That's our true calling.”

This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles

space

Cycle for Survival

How can riding a bike help beat cancer? Just ask Reid Moritz, 10-year-old survivor and leader of his own “wolfpack”

Every year, Reid and his pack participate in Cycle for Survival to help raise money for the rare cancer research that’s helped him and so many others. You can too.

all photos courtesy of Reid Moritz

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research

True

There are many things that ten-year-old Reid Wolf Moritz loves. His family, making watches (yes, really), basketball, cars (especially Ferraris), collecting super, ultra-rare Pokémon cards…and putting the pedal to the medal at Cycle for Survival.

Cycle for Survival is the official rare cancer fundraising program of Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK). One hundred percent of every dollar raised at Cycle for Survival events supports rare cancer research and lifesaving clinical trials at MSK.

At only two years old, Reid was diagnosed with pilocytic astrocytoma, a rare type of brain tumor.

Pediatric cancer research is severely underfunded. When standard treatments don't work, families rely on breakthrough clinical trials to give their children a real shot at long-term survival.

When Reid’s chemotherapy and brain surgery didn’t work, he was able to participate in one of MSK’s clinical trials, where he’s received some incredible results. “Memorial Sloan Kettering has done so much for me. It's just so nice how they did all this for me. They're just the best hospital ever,” Reid recalls.

And that’s why every year, you’ll find Reid with his team, aptly named Reid's Wolfpack, riding at Cycle for Survival. It’s just Reid’s way of paying it forward so that even more kids can have similar opportunities.

“I love sharing my story to inspire other kids to PERSEVERE, STAY STRONG and NEVER GIVE UP while also raising money for my amazing doctors and researchers to help other kids like me.”

Reid remembers the joy felt bouncing on his father’s shoulder and hearing the crowd cheer during his first Cycle for Survival ride. As he can attest, each fundraising event feels more like a party, with plenty of dancing, singing and celebrating.

Hoping to spread more of that positivity, Reid and his family started the Cycle for Survival team, Reid’s Wolfpack, which has raised close to $750,000 over the past eight years. All that money goes directly to Reid’s Neuro-Oncology team at Memorial Sloan Kettering.

In addition to cheering on participants and raising good vibes at Cycle for Survival events, Reid even designs some pretty epic looking merch—like basketball shorts, jerseys, and hoodies—to help raise money.

If you’re looking to help kids just like Reid, and have a ton of fun doing it, you’re in luck. Cycle for Survival events are held at Equinox locations nationwide, and welcome experienced riders and complete newbies alike. You can even join Reid and his Wolfpack in select cities!

And if cycling in any form isn’t your thing, a little donation really does go a long way.

Together, let’s help fuel the next big breakthrough in cancer research. Find out more information by checking out cycleforsurvival.org or filling out this interest form.

From Your Site Articles

best of humanity

Adobe

Technology

Here’s how one nonprofit org is using Adobe to change the world

Adobe empowers nonprofits to fundraise, advocate, and further their missions.

True

In 2024, it’s practically impossible to function as a nonprofit without the right digital resources. Nonprofits use computer systems and applications for things like education, fundraising, engaging clients, and communicating with donors. However, with limited funding and expertise, it's often difficult to get the digital tools they need to fully support their missions.

The planet needs nonprofit organizations, and nonprofits need better digital tools. For decades, Adobe has provided nonprofits with the tools they need to fulfill their mission—helping them with everything from social media advocacy to educational videos to graphic design. Now, Adobe is offering the pro version of Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits, the most requested and comprehensive set of document and e-signature tools, for just $15 per user per year, which represents a 94% annual savings off the regular price. This will make it easier than ever for nonprofits to streamline business processes and increase their impact with engaging educational and fundraising assets – from annual reports, contracts and grant submissions to brochures and white papers.

Keep reading to hear more about how Adobe helped one nonprofit improve efficiencies and giveback potential – and how you can start using Adobe tools today for your organization.

A nonprofit success story

Albert Manero, a mechanical engineer and graduate of the University of Central Florida, founded Limbitless Solutions, Inc., as a passion project in a small lab. Today, Limbitless is celebrating its 10-year anniversary and has grown into an interdisciplinary team based at the University of Central Florida in Orlando that includes 50 interns with nine different fields of expertise. Their mission? To inspire and empower underserved communities through creative, accessible technology.

Manero and his team of experts create bionic, 3D-printed arms for children with limb differences. Combining visual storytelling with art and engineering, the Limbitless team wants children with limb differences to feel included and capable, while at the same time, able to express their personal identity more fully. Developing bionic arms covered in flowers or designed like Iron Man’s armor, kids with these bionic limbs can not only grip objects, hold hands and more, but can feel empowered to be themselves.

Using Adobe to make a difference

Limbitless, like many others, has utilized Adobe for Nonprofits offerings, which gives nonprofit organizations access to Adobe programs at a deeply discounted rate, including access programs like Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Express and Adobe Acrobat as well as Adobe’s 3D tools.

Adobe solutions are the oil that keeps organizations running smoothly behind the scenes. For the grant application and reporting processes, employees at Limbitless have credited Adobe Acrobat with helping the team secure funding and communicating clearly with donors and partners. With Acrobat, they’re able to create, edit, and manage PDF documents that look professional and polished. The company has also transitioned most of its internal documentation to digital formats using Acrobat. This includes everything from design blueprints, brand guidelines, intern contracts, and user manuals for bionic limbs.

Better tech for a better future

In addition to helping day-to-day operations run smoothly, Adobe has also helped bring Limbitless’ mission of inclusion and accessibility outside of office walls.

Using Adobe Express, the fast and easy create-anything app, Limbitless has been able to create quick how-to videos for young patients and their families that showcase how to use their bionic limbs, as well as a series of videos promoting STEAM (science, technology, engineering art and math) education. The company’s Operations, Advocacy, and Logistics team utilizes Express as well, developing content and visual assets for their social media accounts. Recently, Limbitless partnered with the Adobe Express’ Animate Characters team to create six unique, limb-different selectable avatar characters for their educational outreach and social media campaigns.

And Adobe is helping Limbitless empower kids with limb differences, too: Limbitless’ comic series, Bionic Kid, was created using Adobe Illustrator and features a superhero with limb differences who uses a Limbitless prosthetic arm. This inspired a fundraising concept initiated from the idea by a Limbitless prosthetic recipient Zachary Pamboukas, which has been used in fundraising efforts for more bionic arms and has already raised over $20,000.

Inside the organization and out, Adobe is enabling people to reach their full potential, contributing to better nonprofit organizations and, overall, a better world.

Learn more about the new Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits offering and explore more ways Adobe can help your organization today.

From Your Site Articles

Parenting

Psychologist shares 15-second trick to make kids of any age less rude and more cooperative

All it takes is a single question.

via Hunter Johnson/Unsplash

A child being rude.

Sometimes, it can feel like half of parenting is repeating yourself over and over again, asking your child to brush their teeth or take a dish from the living room to the sink. It’s exhausting and makes you feel like a nag. Don't you wish there was a simple way to make your kids listen the first time?

Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, aka “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and founder and CEO of Good Inside who says she has a quick way to make your kids more cooperative and less rude. Talk about killing two soul-crushing birds with one parenting stone. Dr. Beckly got into psychology after growing up with anorexia as a teenager.

“Okay, no matter how old your kid is, you can use this 15-second tip to decrease rudeness and increase cooperation,” she says in a TikTok video with over 32,000 views. “Find your child today and ask them this question. 'Hey, I was just wondering, what could I do better as your parent?'”

The psychologist says that even if the child has a random or impractical answer such as “Let me stay up ‘til midnight” or “I’d like to eat macaroni and cheese for breakfast, lunch and dinner,” just to listen. Simply by listening, you can change your child’s behavior.

She says we should also ask more questions to further the conversation: “Tell me more. What would that be like?”

Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy.

@drbeckyatgoodinside
Want to improve your relationship with your kid in less than 15 seconds? Watch this reel for a quick-win strategy. The best part: When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids. Of course, I’m a realist… I know you need in-the-moment strategies too! Cue: My Conquering Problem Behaviors Workshop. You’ll get an entire toolbox of in-the-moment and outside-the-moment strategies for reducing outbursts and strengthening your bond with your kid. Learn more in the link in bio!

“I mean, imagine your boss coming to you randomly and asking how they could be a better manager to you. Just by asking the question and listening,” she continued. Dr. Becky says that asking our kids how we’re doing as parents communicates three essential ideas: “I care about you. I respect you. I'm invested in this relationship.”

This type of questioning builds a connection with a child that can spill over into other behaviors. “You're building connection. And with more connection always comes more cooperation,” she ends the video.

The big takeaway from the video is that when we enhance our connection with our kids, they will be less likely to disobey or be rude because they feel heard and respected, so there’s no need to act out. They will also return that respect by listening to you when you have a request, such as taking out the trash or putting down their phone and coming to dinner.

Some people in the comments got funny responses when they asked their kids what they could improve. “I asked my 5yr old. I got a mildly scathing look and she said ‘erm, maybe try and burn dinner less next time?’” Collette wrote. “My 5 yo told me to look better and get a haircut,” Mark Amend added.

Dr. Becky’s quick question is a great way for parents to strengthen their relationships when things are going well instead of trying to forge connections during conflict. It’s a great reminder that even when parenting, an ounce of prevention is a pound of cure.

Dr. Becky sums up the importance of prevention in her TikTok caption: “When we use strategies like this in calm moments, we reduce the frequency of difficult moments with our kids,” she wrote.

This article originally appeared in June.

From Your Site Articles

parenting

Education

Listen to famous Victorians having a ball recording their voices for the very first time

Getting drunk and speaking into a phonograph used to be prime entertainment.

AI generated image/Photo credit: Canva, Levin C. Handy/Wikipedia

It's so cool to listen to them ponder a future that would become our present.

The latter part of the Victorian era brought us the invention of photography, and along with it a more realistic—though not completely accurate—glimpse into what life of the time period looked like. And yet, the same can’t be said for what 19th century folks sounded like.

While technically the first recording of a human voice did happen in 1860 (very early on in the Victorian era), it wouldn’t be until the 1880s, when Thomas Edison perfected the technology with his new-and-improved wax cylinder phonograph, that voice recording would become more of a commonplace concept.

In a video created by Kings and Things, we are thrust back in time to when this device made its debut, and subsequently captured the voice of many Victorian era icons. During an evening soirée held in London, George Gouraud, an American employee of Edison, decided to delight his guests by inviting them to record their own personalized message to Edison.

This novel form of entertainment would always start the same way—Gouraud would first toast the guest before prompting them to speak. Needless to say, things would quite quickly turn into drunken fun.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But there was also a bit of unintentional foreshadowing that came about. Composer Sir Arthur Sullivan, for example, all but predicted the kind of impact this technology would have on music.

"For myself I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiments: astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever,” he said.

Gouraud would hold many demonstrations of the phonograph, both at his home in London and at other social events with elite guests, hoping to record the “voices of the great of all nations, to include alike someday the voices of the living and the dead” so that they might be available for future generations.

Getting that kind of extensive archive, however, wasn’t always easy. Even today, many of us get choked up at the thought of talking on the telephone. The nerves were understandably similar, if not worse, for Victorians not only interacting with a daunting device for the first time, but also the concept of their voice being immortalized.

“It is curious to see how the most distinguished speakers behave when they find themselves in front of the photograph and speak into it,” Gouraud noted. Even the famously confident stage actor Sir Henry Irving apparently became "frightened out of his own voice.”

Eventually other “recordists” were brought on to replicate Gouraud’s work of demonstrating the phonograph. And one of them recorded one of the most well known and influential Victorians of them all, the founder of modern nursing herself—Florence Nightingale.

Here’s what the Lady with the Lamp had to say:

“When I am no longer even a memory, just a name, I hope my voice may perpetuate the great work of my life.”

Other notable recordings include politician William Gladstone and Queen Victoria herself—though her recording was replayed to the point of damaging the quality, and it’s hard to accurately detect whose voice it might belong to. It would be much, much later that any of the recordings could be replayed without any degradation.

This entire video is a great reminder that while we might not ever be able to truly time travel (although here’s hoping!) , that doesn't mean we won’t continue finding new ways to experience the past. It’s also interesting to think what folks a hundred years from now will think of the many, many questionable recordings of ourselves that will live on forever via the internet.

Check out more of Kings and Things' content here.

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Parenting

What do you keep in your ‘car kit?’ Parents reveal surprisingly practical must have items

An ice cream bucket with a lid.

Photo credit: Canva

Parents reveal 'must have' items to keep in your 'car kit'

Once you have a baby it doesn't take long for you to realize that you're no longer able to just quickly leave the house. There are a million and one things you have to toss into a bag before you can even grab the baby and head out the door. Eventually the diaper bag is down to a science where certain things just "live" in the bag after months of experience learning the most needed items.

But kids don't need diaper bags forever. They eventually eat without spitting up, no longer need a binky or their extra lovey to carry with them everywhere. So the bag gets a little smaller until you realize, bigger kids still need a bunch of crap that is infrequent enough that you can leave it in the car but frequent enough that you can't leave it at home. That's when you graduate from the diaper bag or toddler backpack to having a parenting "car kit."

A parenting car kit contains all the essentials that your child might need while in the car for road trips and trips around town. Since every kid and family are different most car kits will be different but there are a few common items that parents swear by on keeping handy. If you're a newer parent just heading into that in between age of not quite toddler but not quite preschooler, you may want to grab a pen to jot down some ideas if you don't already ave a car kit packed.

Start with the essentials

Depending on the type of car you have, you may want to use a tote bag, small duffle bag or a shallow plastic tote to keep everything contained. Since the kit's permanent home will be in your vehicle it should be in a container that is not in the way but is large enough to fit your needs. Aside from something to put the items in, the most common item to keep inside it is a first aid kit, which can be restocked as needed. Other parents on weighed in on what they felt like were important must haves to keep on hand.

brown duffel bag beside white and brown wooden chair Photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash

Car sickness and stomach bugs happen so it's better to be prepared

Vomit happens when you have kids, so several parents insist on keeping items in your car to make your life a little easier. One parent writes, "We use an ice cream bucket (and have a lid in case we have to use it). My kids get sick way too often, so we also keep an extra change of clothes for both, disinfecting wipes, Febreeze, soap to clean the bucket in a bathroom sink."

Other parents suggested gallon Ziploc bags or the vomit bags in the back of airplane seats but instead of...borrowing them from an airline, someone suggests ordering them online, "We learned the hard way. You can order them on Amazon, they're not expensive, and they're worth every dime when you're not cleaning vomit out of your car vents with a toothbrush."

vomiting season 21 GIF by The BachelorGiphy

Don't forget the changing seasons and extra shoes and...more

One mom shares that she swaps out clothes depending on the season and is sure to keep a spare pair of shoes, "I have a toddler, I keep....Change of clothes, cheap flipflops for spare shoes, I rotate out summer/winter things (sunscreen/hat/bubbles/bathing suit/towel and winter hat/gloves/sweater/snowpants), books (Especially I-spy books), bandaid's, wet wipes, chalk, extra little cheap toys/entertainment encase stuck in traffic for a long time (have previously been stuck in traffic 4 hours because there was an accident on the hwy. I learned my lesson, bring things to entertain the child.), coloring book/crayons, extra blankets, inflatable ball to play pass with, toilet paper, fold out potty."

Schitts Creek Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy

Picture it, the theme is wet wipes

If you were curious if parents thought you needed wet wipes, you can't stop worrying because they do. They say you need all of the wet wipes or baby wipes. "Baby wipes, no matter how old they are. Towel, hair brush, 1st aid kit, spare clothes for all of us, pocket knife, coloring books, crayons, regular books, and a gallon ziplock filled with old party favor extras in case of emergency," one parent says.

Another parent writes, "My youngest is 10 and our eldest is 25. Is still always have baby wipes. Super convenient!" While someone else shares, "Mine are 3 and 5 year old boys. I have a pack of wipes (you ALWAYS need wipes), change of clothes for both kids, emergency portable potty, and two empty metal water bottles (because we often go on spontaneous adventures and we sometimes buy drinks that they want to split)."

Happy Wipes GIF by Huggies BrandGiphy

Or you can opt out

Not all parents are interested in keeping extra things in their car for "just in case." Just like all car kits are individual to each family, so is the need for one. Some kids are excellent in cars, never getting car sick or having accidents, while others require more, with one parent saying, "I’m baffled by this 'parent kit' stuff. Like my kid is 9 and we’ve survived a lot without most of this stuff."

Several parents share that they prefer not having additional things in their car and it has worked out fine while others explain that they didn't think to keep things in their car and other parents saved them in a pinch from their own car kits.

"These had never crossed my mind before. And then, when he was 2, my son suddenly threw up as I was carrying him into a restaurant and this random mom was immediately at my side with vomit bags and wipes. That woman is still my hero and I now always have an extra vomit bag in the car at a minimum," one person says.

Parenting is such an individual thing that heavily depends on your child's personality and physical needs. But if you do have a car kit or want to make one, it might just be you who is coming to the rescue of a flustered mom still learning what her child needs available while in the car.

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