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Democracy

Racists 'Zoom-bombed' Rep. Jahana Hayes' event but her response showed exactly how to defeat them

Racists 'Zoom-bombed' Rep. Jahana Hayes' event but her response showed exactly how to defeat them
Jahana Hayes/Twitter

Jahana Hayes serves in Congress as the Representative of a district in northwest Connecticut. As part of her re-election campaign this year, she is hosting a series of virtual conversations throughout her district over Zoom so she can listen to the cares and concerns of the people she serves.

What she didn't expect to listen to in one of those conversations was six minutes of racist bile directed at her.

First it was a voice, about 10 minutes into the meeting, saying "Shut up, N-word." After Hayes' team blocked that person, another came in with a clip of a song using the n-word on repeat. Again, her team removed the offending party. Then two more chimed in—clearly a coordinated effort.

Hayes kept it together during the racist attacks, smiling and apologizing to the people in the call and waiting patiently while her team took care of the trolls. She had just a handful of minutes between calls to check in with her team members and prepare for the next conversation, and she did. But that didn't mean she was okay. In fact, she shared a post on Medium in which she made it clear that she was not okay.

"I am tired, completely and utterly tired," she wrote. "No, actually I'm exhausted. This is something that a leader is not supposed to say; but it's whatever."

After explaining what happened, she wrote, "To wrap up my evening, I call my staffer, who was moderating the event, to see if she is ok—I call the only other Black person on the zoom to check in on her and be sure she is ok—I call my Communications Director to instruct him to report the incident. I cannot even reflect on what just happened because I have to be sure my team is ok. I sign out of my computer, but not before I post a screenshot of a section of the zoom chat which read 'SHUT UP N-word GO PICK YOUR COTTON,' repeated in all caps over and over—fully appreciating the fact that cries of 'identity politics' are sure to commence."

She went on to explain how all of this feels:

"Many will question why I would post something so raw and offensive? It is because I realized in that moment that I am not ok. I am not ok that this happened. I am not ok, that this is not the first time this has happened in my life or that I've had to explain that this happens. I am not ok, that I have to post a screenshot to prove it happened. I am not ok, that people will still doubt that it happened or the word of the forty or so participants on the call will be a necessary to 'verify' the incident happened. I am not ok, that I will have to delicately explain to people that this happens—here. I am not ok, that many will try and separate/defend these words and actions and will not see that these comments are not about policy or politics—they are about racism and hate and challenge our decency. I am not ok! I said it—I admit it, I am not ok.

Black women are expected to press on, to ignore this behavior; to not talk explicitly about it because it is uncomfortable, divisive or does not reflect the sentiments of most people. I have watched other women weather this storm and fend off these types of attacks and wonder if in their quiet places they have felt what I am feeling right now. We have become numb to this behavior, instinct kicks in and we just move on. So many well intentioned people say things like, ignore it, you're better than that or don't let it bother you. Even as I write, I am exhausted by the fact that I am carefully choosing my words, as to capture the experience, but not offend the reader. We are left debating zoom security, yet not addressing the underlying issue—that pockets of racism and hate still exist right in our own front yard. The most painful part of it all is that no matter what you achieve in life, no matter how many degrees you earn or how good of a person you try to be—all some people will ever allow themselves to see is a N-word.

Has anyone ever considered the trauma of such an experience? Words matter and they cut deep, no matter how hard you try to suppress or ignore them—words hurt. In that moment I was reminded that I carry the weight of leading by example and knowing that everyone was watching my next step. As the first African American woman ever elected to Congress from CT, I know there is likely no blueprint for how to communicate my feelings on this topic to my constituents. I heard the words of Michelle Obama 'when they go low we go high' play over and over in my head. I imagined if my Grandma were here she would shake her head and immediately start to pray as she recalled some of the most painful parts of her own history. I thought of the 17 year old who is met with the same racist, vitriol attacks and has to make the life defining decision of how they will respond. So NO—I am not ok.

It does not mean that I am broken, or that I will give up. It does not mean that I do not love my country or recognize that one person does not speak for the majority. It means that, tonight I will practice some self care. I will read a book, take a bath and maybe have a good cry and tomorrow I will steady myself and get back to work."

There are people in this country who think that successful Black Americans don't experience racism, as if achievement in their careers or a certain level of economic comfort somehow hides the color of their skin. There are people in this country who brush off blatant racist incidents as an outlier—a rare occurrence that should just be ignored and that will just miraculously go away on its own.

But as Hayes points out, that's not the way this works.

"Check in on your Black friends, I can assure you that there are many who are not ok in this current climate. Stop saying that this doesn't happen here or dismissing it as anecdotal. Have an honest conversation about what we are all experiencing. Listen, don't project, don't make judgements, just listen. While understanding my pain may be a journey for some, a refusal to acknowledge it is a non starter for anyone who seeks to heal our nation. The only way we can cut the cancer of racism out of our communities is by calling it out when we see it and raising our collective voices to get rid of it. In the words of Edmund Burke, 'the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil, is for good people to do nothing.' Let's all commit to doing something and being ok together."

Yes, let's all commit to doing something to destroy this cancer once and for all.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Fans are in stitches after woman's wildly incorrect, whimsical 'Wheel of Fortune' guess

The show took a turn for the bizarre.

@Rick_Life_Coach/X

Can you solve this "Wheel of Fortune" puzzle?

Is there any game show that allows contestants to royally embarrass themselves on national TV quite like “Wheel of Fortune”? There’s always someone going viral for taking a big swing and missing on a phrase that seemed pretty apparent to the casual viewer. And when you take a big loss on a “Wheel of Fortune'' word puzzle, there are a lot of folks shaking their heads at home. More than 8 million people watch the game show every night.

The latest victim of the wheel is Gishma Tabari from Encino, California, whose fantasy-inspired whiff of a common phrase earned her a lot of groans and some support from those who thought her imagination was inspiring. The 3-word puzzle read: “TH _ _ RITI _ S _ GR _ E,” and Tabari offered the answer, “The British Ogre.” The guess surprised host Pat Sajak, who responded, "Uh, no.” Tabari must have missed that there was a space between the R and the E in the puzzle, so ogre would have had to be spelled with 2 Rs.

She also probably wasn’t aware that England isn’t a place known for its ogres.

The correct answer was: “The Critics Agree.”

The answer inspired a lot of activity on X, where people couldn’t believe someone could come up with such a fanciful answer to a puzzle with such a straightforward solution.

Michael created a lovely Photoshop image of what could be the British Ogre.

Not everyone had a problem with the guess.

The incorrect guess is an opportunity for the world to learn that ogres aren’t a significant part of English folklore. Sure, there are characters in English myths and legends that have ogre-like qualities, such as Grendel from "Beowulf," the monstrous creature that terrorizes the mead hall of King Hrothgar. There’s also the Boggart, a mischievous spirit much like a hobgoblin and trolls, which appear in some English tales although they originate in Scandinavia.

If you’re looking for ogres in Europe, France is the best place to go.

The word ogre is of French descent and comes from the name of the Etruscan god of the underworld, Orcus. Orcus is a large, ugly, bearded giant who enjoys consuming human flesh. Ogres are primarily known for eating children, which they believe will give them eternal life.

As for “Wheel of Fortune,” the show will undergo significant changes over the next few years. The show’s host, Pat Sajak, 76, has announced that he is stepping down from the show at the end of the 2024 season after hosting it for 41 years. In September 2024, radio host and “American Idol” emcee Ryan Seacrest will take over the hosting spot.

Seacrest says that changes to the show will be minimal once he takes over.

“With this game show, it’s such a success and has been for generations,” Seacrest said in a new interview with People. “You don’t mess with it, just don’t mess with it. Just get out of the way, say ‘good evening,’ and let’s play.”


This article originally appeared last year.

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Science

Eye-opening video shows why 80 percent of Americans live east of this line

You'll never see the U.S. the same again.

via YouTube/RealLifeLore

There's a big change at the 98th meridian.

Have you ever wondered why the eastern half of the United States is densely populated while everything west of Omaha, save for a few metro areas, is no man’s land?

Most people would assume that it’s because people first settled in the east and moved west. Or, they may believe it’s because of the vast desert that takes up most of the southwest. Those are some decent reasons, but it’s a much more complicated issue than you'd imagine.

A 20-minute video by RealLifeLore explains how topography and rainfall have created what appears to be a straight line down the middle of the country on the 98th meridian that dictates population density. Eighty percent of Americans live on the east side of the line and just twenty percent to the west.

RealLifeLore is a YouTube channel that focuses on geography and topography created by Joseph Pisenti.

In the video, we see that several large cities border the American frontier—San Antonio, Austin, Fort Worth, Oklahoma City, Wichita, Omaha, Lincoln, Sioux Falls, and Fargo, as well as Winnipeg up in Canada. To the west of those cities? Not much until you reach western California and the Pacific Northwest.

Why? Watch:

The major reason why the population drastically changes is rainfall. It rains much more on the east side of the line versus the west. The reason for the drastic change in rainfall is that the Rocky Mountains create a colossal wall known as a rain shadow that prevents moisture from passing from the Pacific Ocean. This has created a large swath of dry land that’s not conducive to larger populations.

Though the eastern U.S. is more densely populated, it doesn't mean the west doesn't sometimes feel crowded, especially if you live in Los Angeles County. What side of the line are you on?

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Pets

Studies show dogs and cats are equally as intelligent. Here's why people think cats are smarter.

"Cats have some cognitive abilities that may make them seem smarter than dogs."

Photo credit: Canva

Are cats smarter than dogs? Researchers have an answer.

There's a debate on the difference in intelligence between cats and dogs that have likely been going on since the two animals were domesticated. Cats aren't particularly known for doing tricks or even consistently responding to their name for that matter. But dogs on the other hand are often eager to please their owners, seemingly showing off their knowledge of a wider range of vocabulary.

Studies have shown that dogs and cats both possess similar levels of intelligence but people still mistakenly think cats are smarter. While dogs outwardly show their intellect by following commands and doing tricks, they're often getting into mischief. They also seem to forget consequences quickly resulting in them repeating the same behaviors.

People tend to see cats as more calculating creatures who know exactly what they're doing, oftentimes causing people to believe they do things out of spite. They may not respond every time you call their name but you know, and they know that they in fact do know their name. Their thinking just appears to be more complex devoid of the need to please their humans, though these things are all just assumptions made by cat owners.

Cat Omg GIFGiphy

But according to studies, while cats and dogs share the same level of intelligence, their smarts show up in different ways. Cats are problem-solvers and will keep trying to solve a puzzle for a much longer period of time than dogs, and they're often quicker at figuring things out like how to open latched food containers and kitchen cabinets, according to Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest, Hungary.

Cats also have a more developed hippocampus which helps them remember things for longer periods of time while dogs have more neurons. Dogs also have a larger brain due to their larger heads which allows for more self-control–that could explain why cats knock things off counters.

Cats Reaction GIF by Hill's Pet Nutrition EMEAGiphy

Cat owners may also incorrectly think cats are smarter than dogs because cats are more self-sufficient while dogs depend heavily on humans for their survival. In a study where scientists attempt to compare cats with dogs, it was quickly proven that cats simply do what they want when they want, and for lack of understanding.

The study was trying to find out if both animals have the same level of body awareness. Dogs sat attentively waiting for commands while cats had to be coaxed with treats, toys and pspspst, only for some of the cats to be eliminated for walking away and refusing to participate. There's not a cat owner in the world that wouldn't expect that response from a feline being told what to do.

Dog Reaction GIF by TikiIndiaGiphy

None of the studies prove cats are smarter than dogs or vise versa, though. The studies and articles that do comparisons of the two pets consistently show that the animals have similar intelligence levels but they have strengths in different areas. Having both a cat and a dog for a pet may make for complimentary companionship between the two animals. But given that they both have opposite strengths, they may combine forces to get into higher level hijinks.

Instead of trying to figure out which animal is smarter, we can appreciate each for what they add to the lives of humans. But in full transparency, when it comes to comforting humans, dogs blow cats out of the water on their level of emotional intelligence, so keep that in mind when Scout knocks over the trashcan for the fifth time this week.

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Internet

Older people share the surprising ways the world is better than the one they grew up in

These unsung marks of progress might be a refreshing antidote to the doom scrolling.

Photo credit: Canva

Life is certainly different than it used to be. In bad ways, and in incredibly good ways.

Listen, the world today is far from perfect, but staying objective by focusing on the real marks of progress that have been made can keep those feelings of despair and powerlessness at bay, which don’t always do much to help us be the change we wish to see and all that.

Perhaps this is where the wisdom of growing older comes in. Recently, older adults weighed in on the different ways the world now is better than the one they grew up in, and the responses reveal not just the sweeping advances in technology and social justice, but incredible advancements that kind of go unsung for the most part. Check out some of the most eye-opening answers below:

Everyday Life

By and large, there are more options, opportunities and outlets than ever before.

Photo credit: Canva

"Food options for both home cooking and restaurants are much better and more varied."

"If you have niche hobbies and interests, you can actually engage in those things nowadays. Whether it be esoteric books, music, or whatever else, you don't need to travel to the ends of the earth to pursue such things. In the '70s and '80s? Good luck with that."

"It's easier to be single. There's less pressure to be paired and less public shame. Romantic relationships should enhance our lives, not be a requirement to achieve some cultural version of success. I love how it is now! It's very, very good."

"Being a nerd or geek nowadays won't get you ostracized."

Health

Not just medical advancements, but also an increase of awareness regarding mental health subjects. And look, while there's plenty wrong with the healthcare system, there are more free and low cost options with the introduction of resources like Medi-cal, which one person noted.

Photo credit: Canva

"Improved medicine. My mom lived for decades with conditions that her mom would have died from. Many things that were death sentences before are now chronic conditions."

"The openness in which we discuss mental health. While there are improvements still to be made, I think it's great (especially for our youth) that we've created a forum where people can ask for help."

"There was no Medicare or Medicaid for anyone when I was growing up. Now, I'm on both."

"Thanks to modern science and medicine, I have an implant in my brain that allows me to hear after 55 years of being profoundly hard of hearing, even with the most powerful hearing aids. It's awesome, and I wouldn't go back in time for anything."

Social Justice

This is a powerful reminder of why need to keep fighting for equality.

Photo credit: Canva

"Women have less trouble getting jobs that pay pretty well. It used to be that employers could actually advertise (in the newspaper) whether they're looking for a man or a woman, what age they want, and they could even mention they're looking for someone attractive to hire. There is also less gender stereotyping and harassment. We still have a long way to go, but it used to be so much worse than it is now!"

"I grew up in Georgia and Tennessee in the '50s and '60s, so you know where this is going. I remember when watching Black people on TV and holding hands with a white person wasn't allowed. I remember how, in 1966, our high school had 1,200 students, and only three were Black. I left the US in the '80s, but I love coming back and seeing mixed-race couples being the norm. I also love seeing men in buns and tattoos. How far we've come."

"I like being able to buy property, get credit, keep my own name, keep teaching even if I'm unmarried and pregnant, get an abortion if I need one (where I live, anyway), and divorce my husband if I want to."

"I don't have to go to jail just for being a pothead anymore."

"My bullies figured out I was gay before I even knew what it meant. They made the next eight years miserable for me. When I watched the news with my family, I saw segments about gay rights and tried to make it look like I wasn't interested, but I was filing the information away. When the series Soap came out, and Billy Crystal played a gay character, I was amazed. I continued seeing more gay characters show up, and I knew things were changing. I feel like I've witnessed an incredible transformation of American culture. I know there are plenty of more things that need to change, and we lurch backward at times, but the last 50 years have been amazing to me."

Environmental

As we are currently dealing with yet another crises related to climate change with the Los Angeles fires, it's worth noting that improvements were made possible through collective action, and can be made again.

Photo credit: Canva

"Oh god, the smog and pollution were really bad in the early '70s. I don't know how to describe to you what it was like to wake up every day in the summer and just see fog and haze. Everything was dirty. During one springtime, acid rain could damage your car's paint. It was gross. I don't have much good to say about Nixon, but the EPA and the Clean Air Act really made a difference in the quality of life for most Americans."

Technology

The next time you have a meltdown over your bluetooth not syncing properly, give these a read.

Photo credit: Canva

"Cars are safer, quieter, more easily operable, and longer-lived now. As a kid, getting any car to 100,000 miles was a cause for celebration. Now, that's the nominal lifespan of any car. Fuel mileage is amazingly better, plus there's widespread hybrid and EV development — things that were science fiction when I was a kid."

"Navigation software on the phone and in the car. I rarely get lost anymore or have to rely on bad directions."

"I can find out how to fix almost anything on YouTube. After years of fixing my stuff through YouTube, I can now fix most things around the house without having to call anyone or incur the cost of a professional. And it's so much more convenient. Oh, there's a leak in the pipe? Let me run to the shed, get my PVC-fixing stuff, and get everything settled in a couple of hours. So many things that seemed complicated to fix, I learned to do thanks to some videos and a few essential tools."

"Here's one that's a little less obvious: LED light bulbs. The LED light bulb in my front porch light has been going strong since 2013. Also, my parents are in their 80s, so it's nice for them. I replaced every bulb in their house with LED, because changing a bulb in a ceiling fixture when you're 80 is not fun."

"I'm never bored anymore. Growing up, I was bored so often it made me angry. But these days, I have endless books, games, good TV, and hobbies to turn to. Some of that is due to being an adult with money, but streaming, eBooks, and digital games are also a huge part."

"How easy it is to learn new things. There is so much great content online covering everything — from investing to theoretical physics to medieval boat building (if you're into that). None of it would even be approachable for 'regular' folks just a couple decades ago."

"The ease of communication at a very low cost. Back in my youth, long-distance phone calls weren't cheap, so we didn't communicate long distances much. Oh, and being able to get reasonably fresh fish in a non-costal city today is quite a plus."

And there you have it. Just a little respite against the doom scrolling to bolster our spirits and believe that change is indeed possible.

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