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I've been finishing my late father's bucket list. Things got tricky when I got to the political part.

I've been finishing my late father's bucket list. Things got tricky when I got to the political part.
Adrian Bacolo (bacolosphotos.com)

The classrooms were empty.

Never did I expect to see my former high school, in Delaware, as the site of the Democratic National Convention on TV, but there it was. There was my study hall and my study hall teacher, who also happens to be the former second lady.

When I graduated college in Delaware, I hightailed it out of there, like most people my age. I had big dreams in New York. I wanted to be a writer.

That summer, my father was killed by a distracted driver. She'd gotten lost and pulled off a highway, picking up her phone at a red light to call for directions. She zoomed right through the next red and plowed into my dad, who was turning left. He died instantly. Or so I was told. I was 25, and decided to keep going. I inherited a small insurance settlement. I used it to stay in New York. It was how my dad would have wanted it, I thought.

Now, seventeen years later, those dreams had come true. I'd been published in national magazines and newspapers in addition to copyediting national magazines. But I still wasn't fulfilled. No amount of career success could erase what had happened. I was still working on making it right.



"After our son Beau died of cancer, I wondered if I would ever smile or feel joy again," the blond woman in the green shirtdress, Dr. Jill Biden, said on television. "It was summer, but there was no warmth left for me. Four days after Beau's funeral, I watched Joe shave and put on his suit. I saw him steel himself in the mirror, take a breath, put his shoulders back and walk out into a world empty of our son. He went back to work. That's just who he is. There are times when I couldn't even imagine how he did it. How he put one foot in front of the other and kept going. But I've always understood why he did it…he does it for you. Joe's purpose has always driven him forward. His strength of will is unstoppable, and his faith is unshakable. Because it's not in politicians or political parties or even in himself — it's in the providence of God."


WATCH: Jill Biden's full speech at the 2020 Democratic National Convention | 2020 DNC Night 2www.youtube.com


A week after Donald Trump was elected president in 2016, my life took an unexpected turn, too.

My brother had just moved into his first condo. My husband and I drove the four hours up to Salem, Massachusetts, to see him. Once there, my brother and future sister-in-law revealed a treasure they'd discovered in their move: our father's bucket list.

"Talk with the President." "Correspond with the Pope." "Surf in the Pacific." It was the kind of thing you find and chuckle over. His indecipherable handwriting, the wild things this man from Delaware wanted to do. But I didn't just laugh. I felt a pull to action. My husband felt it too.

"You have to finish this list," he said. "And then write a book about it."

I'd been an activist for three years, twisting my work as a journalist into a platform. But I hadn't found the right medium. And the numbers of car fatalities kept going up.

"The burdens we carry are heavy, and we need someone with strong shoulders," Dr. Biden continued. "I know that if we entrust this nation to Joe, he will do for your family what he did for ours. Bring us together and make us whole, carry us forward in our time of need, keep the promise of America for all of us."

It's not easy. Moving on, trying to make sense of unimaginable tragedy.

I've understood what families have gone through the past six months. I know the pain of getting a phone call to learn your father has died. There is a helplessness. An anger.

My dad never would have wanted me to talk about his death my whole life. My dad was hopeful, joyful, a storyteller. He would have wanted a better story.

"Be invited to a political convention" was item 53 on my dad's bucket list. After "talk with the President," it struck me as the least feasible. But in August 2019, I gave it a go. By then I'd checked off 27 of my dad's dreams.

First I wrote to every Democratic candidate. Then I wrote to every college alum who worked for the press, to every TV show who'd interviewed me. Finally, I tried a University of Delaware alum who worked at the local paper. He said he had no connection to Biden, but could put me in touch with the Delaware Democratic state party.

The Delaware Democratic chairman was kind. He said if I was a registered Democrat, I could attend their next convention.

That sounded like an invitation to me.

I walked out of the New York skyscraper where I worked and just before I reached the subway stopped and cried. Of all the conventions I could have ended up going to, I'd never imagined one in my home state. The place I'd wanted nothing to do with 20 years ago. But it was exactly where my dad would have gone, had he checked this off himself.

A few months later, a story about my mission to finish my dad's list was published in my college's alumni magazine. It was to come out that spring.



But by then, the whole world had fallen apart.

My husband came home from work early on a Wednesday in March. "I'm not going back," he said. "We have to work from home indefinitely."

We jumped in the car and drove to Whole Foods to stock up. I texted everyone I knew, asking them how they were handling this craziness. I got no response.

The pandemic hadn't hit them yet.

"We just need leadership worthy of our nation," Dr. Biden said. "Worthy of you. Honest leadership to bring us back together, to recover from this pandemic and prepare for whatever else is next. Leadership to reimagine what our nation will be."

In the next few weeks, I decided I wanted more than just an invite to a state convention. And so as the country shut down, I collected signatures to become a national delegate. I had to do it digitally because my state was sheltering in place. I attached a photo of myself in a tuxedo (another list item, "own a black tux"). I asked my neighbors to put down whatever they were doing and please sign my list. But then the governor waived the need for signatures.


A councilwoman in my town emailed me. She said she could get me in. She shared my story with a friend who shared it with another friend and next thing I knew, the Joe Biden campaign was hearing about me.

Weeks went by. My University of Delaware magazine article came out. They'd put me on the cover. People said my story gave them hope during an uncertain time. But I felt lost. Yes, my story was one of hope, but hope in a more simple time. Not hope during a time of 170,000 deaths, 5 million Americans ill and millions out of work in only five months!


My husband and I couldn't even leave our house. I couldn't see anyone I loved. How on earth could my words still make a difference?

"How do you make a broken family whole?" Dr. Biden said. "The same way you make a nation whole: with love and understanding and with small acts of kindness. With bravery, with unwavering faith. We show up for each other in big ways and small ones again and again."

The sacrifices I've seen people make for my dad's bucket list have been countless. It has changed my marriage for the better, thanks to my husband's contributions. Every sibling, cousin, aunt and uncle has chipped in, as have my mom and stepdad and every friend. Every person I know has somehow turned out to be an expert on some list item. They've given me their time for free. Even strangers.

I'm richer in love because of this project, I have friends I never would have known. And they tell me they're richer too.

In June I learned Biden had chosen his NJ delegates for the national convention, and I wasn't one of them.

But by July I felt better about not receiving an invite. Because now, thanks to the pandemic, nobody would. The convention would be virtual, in an effort to protect people's lives.

Then it was announced that even Biden wouldn't travel to Milwaukee. He'd accept the nomination right there in Delaware.

The same state I'd already been invited to for the Delaware state convention. My mom texted me an hour before the second night of the DNC.

"Jill Biden is speaking from her classroom at Brandywine High School, Room 232."

"What?" I said. "I've been in that room!"

How is it possible? I thought. I've been denied an invitation back to my own high school!

But then I suddenly knew. It was because I was too busy trying to be important to remember who I really am.

"Now, Joe is not perfect," former First Lady Michelle Obama said in her DNC speech. "And he'd be the first to tell you that. But there is no perfect candidate, no perfect president. And his ability to learn and grow—we find in that the kind of humility and maturity that so many of us yearn for right now. Because Joe Biden has served this nation his entire life without ever losing sight of who he is; but more than that, he has never lost sight of who we are, all of us.

Here she was, Dr. Jill Biden, this beautiful stateswoman, addressing our nation in a hopeless time, during the most important election of our lifetimes—from my high school. From little Delaware.

From a place that maybe wasn't so little after all.

Maybe I didn't have to make my voice seem big to be heard. Instead of spending the evening in a crowded arena, I spent it on my couch at home, cheering with my mom over the phone when we saw my old stomping grounds on TV.

And hers were the only ears I needed. The only invitation I could want.

A night with my mom at the national convention. And I know my dad was there, too.

Probably laughing at me.


Laura Carney is a writer and magazine and book copy editor in New York and is writing a book about finishing the bucket list of her late father, who was killed by a distracted driver

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

All screenshots from @lakynbowman on TikTok.

It was Grandma’s 71st birthday, and granddaughter Lakyn Bowman came up with the cutest, cleverest and most thoughtful way to honor the occasion.

Bowman (@lakynbowman) shared in a TikTok video that after going through old photos, she realized just how much they both looked alike. And so, to thank grandma for passing down the good genes, she decided to recreate each signature look. After a few rounds with a curling iron, some pale blue eyeshadow, and throwing on some charming floral prints (plus some filter wizardry to give the pics that retro look) the resemblance is just uncanny.

People were delighted to see such a loving tribute. The video quickly racked up over 8 million views, with more than a few comments talking about how emotional the tribute made them. Can’t say I blame 'em.

Screenshot of a comment

Such a heartwarming tribute obviously moved some to tears.

TikTok

But how did grandma feel about it? Well, in a follow-up video, we see a genuine ear-to-ear smile. Suffice it to say, the idea was a hit.

As one person wrote to Bowman, “you’ll never be able to top this gift.”

It certainly helps that Bowman is vintage savvy. She even helps others find amazing secondhand items through her company Nine Oh Six. So getting the clothes and accessories was a piece of old-fashioned pineapple upside-down cake. And the results were just as sweet. Take a look below:

@lakynbowman Happy birthday, Grandma! Thanks for the good genes. 💕 #recreate#photoshoot #birthdayphotoshoot #vintage #grandma ♬ What Once Was - Her's
@lakynbowman

Reply to @katemason06 The audio didn’t save. 😭 But here’s her reaction. I love her so much! 💕

These videos are not only an instant dash of joy, it’s also a heartwarming reminder that our elders provide the prologue to our life stories. Honoring them can be as simple or creative as we want them to be, but be sure to include them. As we can see with this grandma-granddaughter duo, it’ll mean the world to them.


This article originally appeared three years ago.

via James Breakwell / Twitter

Raising kids is tough, but there's a lot of laughs along the way. Comedy writer James Breakwell has four daughters under the age of eight and shares their hilarious conversations on Twitter. And, from Breakwell's tweets, it looks like his five year old has a future in comedy. Here's a sampling of some Breakwell's funniest kid-inspired tweets.


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His 5-year-old isn't the only (often unintentionally) hilarious child in the house; the 7-year-old and 3-year-old turn up from time to time. There's also a 2-year-old, but she hasn't been the subject of many tweets yet.


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This article originally appeared four years ago.

Man praised for not switching seats with dad traveling with daughter

Airlines charge for everything but breathing nowadays so people tend to be protective of their seat assignments. They picked them with their own hands with their needs and preferences in mind before paying the extra money to confirm the seating. Choosing your own seat can range from $5-$80 extra per ticket depending on where in the cabin you choose to sit, barring first class options.

It's for this reason that people aren't keen on trading their seats with someone who chose to let the airline auto-assign a seat for them. This doesn't stop people from asking unsuspecting fellow travelers to swap seats with them, likely relying on the social pressure of the situation to coax a yes. But one man refused to be swayed, even when the other passenger points out that he would like to sit next to his minor daughter which may have been enough to encourage others to oblige the request.

The passenger who was being asked to move had already paid additional money to sit in an aisle seat he explains, "I always book an aisle seat. My company allows me to add the small surcharge for an aisle seat (it was $18). I sat early and this guy comes with his daughter. His daughter had the middle seat next to me. He had another middle seat elsewhere. He asked to switch with me. I said I would if he had an aisle seat. He said he has a middle seat."

Season 9 Ugh GIF by Curb Your EnthusiasmGiphy

The middle seat is typically the least desirable seat due to being stuck between two other passengers, no designated armrest and nothing to comfortably lean your head on should you fall asleep. Waking up only to realize you've been asleep on a stranger's shoulder can make for an awkward interaction, so there's no surprise the man didn't want to trade seats with the dad on those details alone. But the man didn't choose the aisle seat because he was afraid of drooling on the shoulder of a fellow passenger.

"I said sorry, I am a big guy (6 feet, 260+ pounds), I am [un]comfortable in middle seat. It's a 4.5 hour flight," the befuddled passenger shares before adding. "I explained I am physically uncomfortable in the middle. The aisle gives me more room."

Giphy

One might think the interaction would end there but it didn't. According to the six-foot-tall man, the dad then involved a flight attendant to encourage him to give up his seat so the dad could sit next to his child. But the man continued to refuse the dad's request which resulted in the dad having to sit in his original seat and the teenage girl being seated next to the original man. He had no desire to be uncomfortable for a fairly long flight and while he was expecting for people to disagree with his actions, they were overwhelmingly on his side.

"You paid extra for that aisle seat, and it’s your comfort on a long flight. The guy should've booked better seats if he wanted to sit next to his daughter. Plus, it’s not your job to accommodate his poor planning," one person writes.

No Way Beer GIF by BuschGiphy

"If you want to sit together, pay for the seats. Good for you, people like that need to learn they cant have their cake and eat it too," someone else says.

"I hate it when a FA asks you to move one you've already said no. They should stand by their company who sold you the seat and reiterate that to the person asking," another chimes in.

pushing air travel GIFGiphy

"I’ve been in the situation traveling, when my kids were small and flights were canceled, etc. that we were seated separately. When you REALLY do NEED compassion, people are generally OK with it and they are understanding and will likely move if able. I’ve also raised my kids to be independent and as teenagers they would have been just fine. In a case where it really is a need (like a special needs teen), the airline owes its passengers some sort of a solution like upgrading an inconvenienced traveller," someone else adds.

The man does admit that maybe the dad assumed the solo traveler would be inappropriate with his daughter saying, "Maybe he thought I was some creeper? I AM NOT. I popped a prescription muscle relaxer, put on relaxing music on my earphones and zoned out." In the end the man did not give up his seat and the teen girl and her father were both fine sitting in the seats assigned to them.

Life is bigger than the U.S.!

Dreaming about moving to another country and starting over is no longer just a dream for some people. A growing number of millennial expats are finding their American dream in another country. And they're taking to social media to invite us to follow their journeys. Living comfortably in America is merely a dream for most people, so seeing expats doing it in other countries is inspiring more people than ever to seek a better life than they can achieve in the United States elsewhere.

Influencer and educator Olumide Gbenro has made a life in Bali that would be unattainable to most Americans. When Gbenro was around 13, his family immigrated to Columbus, Ohio after living in London. Gberno spent the first six years of his life in his home country of Nigeria, so relocating was not new to him. Before deciding to leave it all behind as an adult, Olumide was on a different path. A path his parents had set before him, but one he didn't want to follow.

In 2016, Gberno graduated with two master’s degrees from San Diego State University. One master’s was in epidemiology and the other in behavioral sciences. The new graduate was primed to go on for his PhD just as his parents wanted, but enrolling in a PhD program meant traveling the world would be off the table and the soon to be expat wasn’t ready to give up on it. The choice then became to become a doctor or travel, and since traveling was in his blood it was a no-brainer.

Gberno told CNBC Make It, “All of my life, I just followed the rules, whether it was from my parents, religion or society,” he says. “But deep down I knew that if I took the position in the PhD program, I could never go back, I could never travel abroad...I’d be stuck to a lab, so I decided to say ‘no.’” Shortly after coming to the conclusion that a PhD wasn’t for him, he packed up his belongings and headed out of the country.

Olumide took some time in a few other locations before settling in Bali; the new expat first stopped in Berlin on a three month tourist visa, staying in hostels and couch surfing at friends' houses. Gberno didn’t have much savings when he left America, so not working wasn’t an option, and eventually he struck success with his online business in social media marketing. He was able to grow his Instagram following fairly quickly by posting photos of his adventures and dance videos. With a larger following, he started reaching out to other creators and businesses offering to help improve their social media strategy for the small fee of $250. Eventually, it enabled him to turn it into a lucrative business that helps sustain his lifestyle.

After Olumide’s three months in Berlin were up, he traveled to Mexico and then back to San Diego where he launched his business, Olumide Gbenro PR & Brand Monetization, in 2018. While scrolling through Instagram he saw a post from a friend visiting Bali at the time. The scenery appealed to him, so he decided to go. After many flights back and forth to Singapore and Malaysia to extend his visa 30 days at a time, he was granted an investors visa.

Gberno earns about $140,000 a year and his biggest expense is his rent and utilities which total $1,010 a month. He spends about $600 a month on take out and eating at restaurants and continues to travel at least once a month. Gberno told CNBC “I’m probably spending about the same amount of money I would each month if I was living in San Diego, but my quality of living is much higher,” he says. “I’m living a life of luxury.”

These expats make living abroad look like a feasible goal and for some it is. Be warned that following these adventurous souls on social media may make you want to pack a few bags and never look back.


This article originally appeared three years ago.