‘Devoted granny’ says it’s grandparents’ job to build relationships with their grandkids, not parents

Grandparents shouldn’t wait to be told to do their job.

Apr 21, 2026

Photo credit: Canva – A grandmother with her grandchild.

There has been a growing discussion over the last couple of years, mostly initiated by Millennial parents, that their Baby Boomer parents aren’t there for their children. It’s believed that the absentee Boomer grandparent phenomenon stems from the generation’s financial success. In retirement, Boomers have more options to travel and pursue their interests than earlier generations did, which often chose to spend more time with family.

A common excuse among some grandparents is that they “did their time” as parents and don’t want to spend their golden years raising the next generation. Others will blame their children for refusing to foster a relationship between grandparents and grandchildren.

However, TikTok user Helen Devoted Granny, a grandmother in Devon, England, is going viral for being brutally honest: “I think it’s always the grandparents’ responsibility.”

Helen’s TikTok page expresses the joy of being a devoted grandparent while questioning those who aren’t there for their grandchildren.

@hels5071
Who’s responsibility is it? I think it’s firmly the grandparents responsibility. Being a devoted granny is an absolute privilege and one I cherish #mumsoftiktok #grandparentsoftiktok #familymatters #familydynamics #generationaltrauma ♬ original sound – Helen Devoted Granny

Who is responsible for the grandparent-grandchild relationship?

“I think it’s always the grandparents’ responsibility,” Helen said in a video. “And as a devoted granny, I’ll explain why I think it’s the grandparents responsibility to always reach out, to be the one saying, ‘Well, can we help with this? Can we come and visit? Can we take them there? Is there anything you’d like me to do? Do you need some support this week? Do you need some support next week? These are my days off.’ Blah, blah, blah.”

She added, “That’s what I do. I’m a devoted granny, and I feel very strongly about this. And I don’t think kids should be the ones. Your children shouldn’t be the ones who need to facilitate that relationship. It’s up to the grandparents to do that.”

grandma, grandparents, grandchild, family, — Grandmother and grandson. Photo credit: Canva

Helen also has some strong words for grandparents who don’t want to raise kids anymore because they believe that “it’s their time” now.

“I think if grandparents are coming back with things like, ‘Well, it’s our time now, it’s our time now.’ No, it’s not,” Helen said. “It’s your time to help your kids because it’s really difficult when your children are small. The help that you give them is so needed, and it’s so appreciated that, honestly, it’s your time to be with your grandchildren and to help in every way you can.”

The folks in the comments overwhelmingly agreed

Commenters applauded Helen, many of whom were upset that their parents never put any effort into building a relationship with their children.

“I recently read the following: ‘Active grandparents never want to stop being parents, while uninvolved grandparents never really wanted to be parents in the first place.’ This statement struck a chord,” Azucar wrote.

“I agree. No support or effort = no relationship,” Naarah added.

Kermy said that it’s all about priorities, which are easy to see: “If Grandparents can work out how to order expensive gadgets online, buy new cars and book holidays, they are more than capable of picking up the phone and contacting the grandkids themselves.”

Helen’s TikTok is a clear example of a truth in life: when people care about something, they take initiative. They don’t wait for other people to give them permission. In the end, no matter what side you take in the discussion, her message is clear: relationships don’t build themselves. When it comes to family, those who show up and take initiative are always going to be the ones who matter most.

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In Partnership With Habitat For Humanity →

Homeowners celebrate the completion of their new home in Cambodia's Siem Reap Province alongside Habitat for Humanity volunteers and staff.

Culture, Family

A safe, stable home can change lives for the better. Here’s how Habitat for Humanity wants to make that possible for everyone.

Better health, better jobs, and a brighter future all start with access to a safe, affordable home.

Sarah Watts

3/25/2026
A single door can open up a world of endless possibilities. For homeowners, the front door of their house is a gateway to financial stability, job security, and better health. Yet for many, that door remains closed. Due to the rising costs of housing, 1 in 3 people around the world wake up without the security of safe, affordable housing.

Since 1976, Habitat for Humanity has made it their mission to unlock and open the door to opportunity for families everywhere, and their efforts have paid off in a big way. Through their work over the past 50 years, more than 65 million people have gained access to new or improved housing, and the movement continues to gain momentum. Since 2011 alone, Habitat for Humanity has expanded access to affordable housing by a hundredfold.

A world where everyone has access to a decent home is becoming a reality, but there’s still much to do. As they celebrate 50 years of building, Habitat for Humanity is inviting people of all backgrounds and talents to be part of what comes next through Let’s Open the Door, a global campaign that builds on this momentum and encourages people everywhere to help expand access to safe, affordable housing for those who need it most. Here’s how the foundation to a better world starts with housing, and how everyone can pitch in to make it happen.

Volunteers raise a wall for the framework of a new home during the first day of building at Habitat for Humanity’s 2025 Carter Work Project.

Globally, almost 3 billion people, including 1 in 6 U.S. families, struggle with high costs and other challenges related to housing. A crisis in itself, this also creates larger problems that affect families and communities in unexpected ways. People who lack affordable, stable housing are also more likely to experience financial hardship in other areas of their lives, since a larger share of their income often goes toward rent, utilities, and frequent moves. They are also more likely to experience health problems due to chronic stress or environmental factors, such as mold. Housing insecurity also goes hand-in-hand with unstable employment, since people may need to move further from their jobs or switch jobs altogether to offset the cost of housing.

Affordable homeownership creates a stable foundation for families to thrive, reducing stress and increasing the likelihood for good health and stable employment. Habitat for Humanity builds and repairs homes with individual families, but it also strengthens entire communities as well. The MicroBuild® Initiative, for example, strengthens communities by increasing access to loans for low-income families seeking to build or repair their homes. Habitat ReStore locations provide affordable appliances and building materials to local communities, in addition to creating job and volunteer opportunities that support neighborhood growth.

Marsha and her son pose for a photo while building their future home with Southern Crescent Habitat for Humanity in Georgia.

Everyone can play a part in the fight for housing equity and the pursuit of a better world. Over the past 50 years, Habitat for Humanity has become a leader in global housing thanks to an engaged network of volunteers—but you don’t need to be skilled with a hammer to make a meaningful impact. Building an equitable future means calling on a wide range of people and talents.

Here’s how you can get involved in the global housing movement:
- Speaking up on social media about the growing housing crisis
- Volunteering on a Habitat for Humanity build in your local community
- Travel and build with Habitat in the U.S. or in one of 60+ countries where we work around the globe
- Join the Let’s Open the Door movement and, when you donate, you can create your own personalized door
- Shop or donate at your local Habitat ReStore
Every action, big and small, drives a global movement toward a better future. A safe home unlocks opportunity for families and communities alike, but it’s volunteers and other supporters, working together with a shared vision, who can open the door for everyone.

Visit habitat.org/open-door to learn more and get involved today.
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Photo credit: Canva – Postpartum depression requires various kinds of support.

Family, Moms

New mom shares texts from her mother-in-law that exemplify postpartum depression support

This mother-in-law knows what she’s doing.

Annie Reneau

5/5/2026
First-time motherhood can feel overwhelming in every way. Bringing a human into the world that you are responsible for and fall madly in love with is life-changing, to say the least. But when you add a layer of postpartum depression (PPD) onto that overwhelm, it can all feel like way too much to handle.

A mom shared texts her mother-in-law sent her when she was struggling with PPD with her firstborn, and people are loving them. The post from @mamaesterm provides a great example of what support looks like.

@mamaesterm
#babiesoftiktok #firsttimemom #postpartum #mil
♬ Atlantis (Sped Up Version) – Seafret

First, it’s important to note that one of the most important ways to support someone going through PPD is to encourage and help them seek professional help. Treatments are available.

Each text has a specific element that makes it particularly effective:

‘Can I come by and help tidy up while you take a nap with the baby?’

This message acknowledges that Mom needs sleep and also needs a clean home. Often, those needs are not compatible in the early weeks and months of motherhood. People tell you to “sleep when the baby sleeps,” but if you have a high-needs baby, nap time is often the only time you have to get things done. People will also say the state of your house doesn’t matter, but for many, if not most, it’s easier to manage mental health when the home is under control.

So, having someone ask if they can come and help with the house while Mom naps with the baby hits both needs simultaneously.

Helping with the house while Mom sleeps can be a huge help.

‘You’re doing such a great job, I know it’s hard sometimes. [heart emoji]‘

Encouragement is so important for new parents. It’s common to feel like you have no idea what you’re doing with a new baby, while desperately wanting to not screw it up. And when you’re struggling with PPD, the guilt over feeling unable to care for your child the way you want to makes all of that worse. Being told you’re doing a good job feels like a refreshing drink of water.

‘Look how sweet she is she’s the cutest little thing, I’m obsessed with the precious photo editing app you told me about.’ [baby photo]

When you’re wrapped up in all the feelings, hormones, and overwhelm of new motherhood with PPD piled on top of it, it’s easy to lose perspective. Seeing reality through a loved one’s eyes can sometimes help ease some of the distorted thinking.

The beauty in this message is there’s no shame or guilt attached to it. Some people might say something like, “Why are you sad? You have a beautiful, healthy baby!” which often just leads the mom to feeling guilty about feelings she can’t control. This text makes no judgments, and, in fact, reminds the mom of something positive she has done for her family.

Overwhelmed mother next to baby’s crib.

‘Pete mentioned it was a long night with baby girl. I’m doing a Starbucks run and will drop off breakfast for you on the porch.’

This one might just be the best. Asking if someone wants help is great. But sometimes just doing the thing without asking, especially if it’s not intrusive in any way, is the way to go. Saying, “I’m heading out for food. I’m going to grab you some and drop it on your porch,” removes any obligation from the equation. No decision had to be made. No pressure to interact or entertain, which can be a big load off. And no guilt over the state of the house or your lack of a shower, which is huge.

As one commenter wrote, “Starbucks left on the porch…that’s someone who just wants to love and help without intruding. She’s a gem, keep her.”

What are some common signs of PPD?

Hormonal fluctuations after birth can cause a lot of emotional ups and downs. What makes postpartum depression different from the “baby blues” is the intensity and severity of the downs.

According to the Cleveland Clinic, these symptoms can be signs you might be struggling with PPD:
- Feeling sad, worthless, hopeless, or guilty
- Worrying excessively or feeling on edge
- Loss of interest in hobbies or things you usually enjoy
- Changes in appetite or not eating
- Loss of energy and motivation
- Trouble sleeping or wanting to sleep all the time
- Crying for no reason or excessively
- Difficulty thinking or focusing
- Lack of interest in your baby or feeling anxious around your baby
If you’ve recently given birth and these symptoms sound familiar, definitely have a conversation about what you’re feeling with your doctor. And if you know someone who is struggling postpartum, support is crucial. In addition to helping them find professional help, providing encouragement and practical help, especially without having to be asked, can be invaluable.
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Photo credit: Instagram/@kendraalley [with permission] – Kendra Alley's sons give pitch presentation for family vacation pick.

Family, Parenting

Parents start family tradition where kids pitch their ideas for the next vacation

“You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

Emily Shiffer

5/5/2026

Building confidence isn’t easy at any age, but for mom Kendra Alley, she is making sure she starts the process early. By getting creative, she’s teaching her young sons about confidence.

The married mom-of-three shared her family’s new tradition that doubles as a confidence-building technique. When each child turns 10 years old, they get to choose where the family goes on vacation.

The caveat: they must do a pitch-presentation explaining where they want to go and why. “In our family, turning 10 means you pick the family trip. Anywhere in the world. But you have to research it … and present it to us,” she explained in an Instagram post.

View this post on Instagram

The pitch-presentation, explained

Alley shared more details about what the presentation entails, and why she and her husband have their sons do it.

“We help them with a basic template, but they are required to add the flare. Why do we make them work so hard for something we would do anyway? It builds confidence, Research Skills, Public Speaking Practice, DELAYED GRATIFICATION and Family Connection,” she explained, later adding that “they also have to rehearse because they aren’t allowed to read straight off the screen.”

When asked why they start at age 10 in the comments, Alley wrote, “I think my husband read something that said they [kids] remember most memories starting at age 10?? Something like that!”

The tradition began in 2024, when their oldest son turned 10. He chose to go to Loch Lyme in New Hampshire (and drive there in an RV). And this year, her second oldest son turned 10. For his trip, he chose Hawaii.

View this post on Instagram

Her second son gives his presentation

Alley captioned the video of her second son Loch’s presentation, “I’m so proud of him, he was so nervous. You could see his confidence building as he presented.”

“Let’s do it!” Alley encourages him, and her husband shouts, “You’ve got this, my man!”

He stands in front of them in the family’s living room with a microphone and a presentation of slides on the TV. He is clearly nervous, and Alley says to him, “Just start by telling us why we’re here!”

As he speaks about his dream to travel to Hawaii (while dressed in an on-theme Hawaiian shirt), he visibly becomes more secure in himself as he details things he wants to eat (like shaved ice), the top things he wants to see (“Mauna Kea and Mauna Loa which are the twin mountains that kind of look like butt cheeks”), and do (like swim with sharks), and more.

View this post on Instagram

Viewers respond

Many parents and viewers were inspired by the Alley’s family tradition, and shared their thoughts in the comments:

“Love this. As someone who teaches people public speaking and presentation skills, this is amazing. I have never thought about having my own kids develop their skills in this area.”

“Bravo to the parents. Persuasive speaking, presentation design, research, and then he gets the experiences of travel on top of it. I love this 👏.”

“I implore folks to MAKE YOUR KID DO SMALL PRESENTATIONS LIKE THIS AS EARLY AND OFTEN AS POSSIBLE! Thank me later! —-A former high school public speaking teacher.”

“Love his close – end with a question and a big ask. He’s got a future in sales 👏.”

“I told my daughter we were doing this after you told me this idea and she is pre-planning for Japan 😭🙏🏼🤣.”

“I love someone who dresses the theme!”

“This is the sweetest 🥹❤️.”

“I just love this so much! Such epic parenting….from a non parent 😂.”

“Stealing this for my future children.”

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https://www.canva.com/photos/MAG3IPmP7w8-father-and-son-reading-book-together-on-sofa-at-home/A quote about reading fairytales to children is often attributed to Albert Einstein.

Family, Parenting

Why people have been accidentally giving Einstein credit for this powerful quote about fairytales

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

Emily Shiffer

5/5/2026

German physicist Albert Einstein was a genius. Many people view him as a wise authority on life advice and wisdom, and numerous Albert Einstein quotes are now famous.

One topic he shared his insights on is parenting. Einstein was a father of three, and he shared his thoughts on how to raise resilient kids.

But there is one parenting quote often attributed to Einstein that he did not say. The topic: how to make children more intelligent.

Einstein’s misattributed quote

The famous quote people assume Einstein said is:

“If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”

However, the quote has not been verified as directly coming from Einstein. Folklorist Stephen Winick at the American Folklife Center of the Library of Congress explained the “folklore” behind the quote and how it’s been spread throughout the years.

The story about Einstein’s fairytale quote

According to Winick, Einstein may in fact have said the quote (or a version of it), but it was likely misconstrued throughout the years.

“As a result of this oral, print, and electronic transmission, the story of Einstein advocating fairy tales resembles other folk stories: it exists in multiple versions that vary in their details,” he explained.

He traced the history of Einstein’s quote using the Library of Congress resources, noting that the quote was first shared in print in 1958 by librarian Elizabeth Margulis in an article titled “Fairy Tales and More Fairy Tales” in the New Mexico Library Bulletin.

Margulis shared a story about an interaction she heard about between Einstein and another woman, where the woman asked him advice on how to help her son become a scientist:

“In Denver I heard a story about a woman who was friendly with the late Dr. Einstein, surely acknowledged as an outstanding ‘pure’ scientist. She wanted her child to become a scientist, too, and asked Dr. Einstein for his suggestions for the kind of reading the child might do in his school years to prepare him for this career. To her surprise Dr. Einstein recommended ‘fairy tales and more fairy tales.’ The mother protested this frivolity and asked for a serious answer, but Dr. Einstein persisted, adding that creative imagination is the essential element in the intellectual equipment of the true scientist, and that fairy tales are the childhood stimulus of this quality! (p.3)”

@nicholas
The #final #words of Albert Einstein #learnontiktok #epitaph #history #historybuff
♬ Paper Birds (3 min) – Jordan Halpern Schwartz

Modern-day misinformation on Einstein’s quote

The story shared by Margulis has been the crux of the quote’s origin, but it was not a firsthand account. Winick adds that her story was then re-shared by another famous children’s librarian in 1958, and another version of the story was given in a 1963 library publication by author Doris Gates, furthering its spread.

Winick cites an article by children’s librarian Jane Buel Bradley to explain:

“…Doris Gates, writer and children’s librarian, reports that Albert Einstein told an anxious mother who wanted to help her child become a scientist: ‘First, give him fairy tales; second, give him fairy tales, and third, give him fairy tales!’”

Since the 1960s, the quote has continued to take on a life of its own. However, evidence of Einstein ever saying it has yet to be confirmed.

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Photo credit: Canva – A woman is suprosed after reading something on her computer

Family, Kids

Woman with an unfortunate name has a hilarious warning for all parents-to-be

Her name is Samantha Hart. Her professional email address is the problem.

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

5/5/2026

The recent trend of parents going out of their way to give their children unique names has brought up a lot of discussion on social media. Some of these names sound cute when a child is 5 years old. But will Caeleigh, Zoomer or Rhyedyr look like a serious adult on a job application in a few years?

A recent viral video on TikTok is a unique twist on the current discussion surrounding names. Samantha Hart has a name that doesn’t seem like it would draw any negative attention in professional circles. However, her parents didn’t consider email conventions when they named her back in the late ‘90s when email was new.

Her name was fine, but her email was not

“My name is Samantha Hart,” she said. “Most companies use the email designation of first initial, last name, meaning my email would be ‘shart.’” For the uninitiated, a “shart” is an unintentional release when one thinks they only have gas. Yikes.

@thesam_show
sorry if i talk about this problem too much but it is HAPPENING AGAIN!!
♬ original sound – Sam Showalter

The issue arose because Samantha has had two “professional” jobs in the past in which her name has been an issue. So, as she began a third job, she wondered how to approach the situation with a new employer.

“At every single workplace, I have received an email from HR the week before I start letting me know that my name does not exactly fit the company email structure as they would intend and [asked] would I mind if they gave me a different structure for my email,” Hart said.

So she asked her followers on TikTok if she should just “reach out, right off the bat” to her employer and ask for “something else” or wait for HR to react to her email situation. But most of the responses were from people who have been in the same embarrassing situation as Samantha and wished their parents had thought twice before naming them.

She was definitely not alone in this

“Clittmann has entered the chat. Have been dealing with this since college,” Chris.Littmann responded.

“As Swallo, I feel your pain,” Samantha Wallo replied.

“My name is Sue Hartlove so my work emails are always shartlove,” Sue added.

“I went to college w Tiffany Estes,” Abby1233213 wrote.

“Rkelley has entered the chat,” Rach commented.

“Worked with a guy named Sam Adcock,” Lori added.

“My last name is Hartstein, and my mom’s personal email is ‘shartstein.’ People literally call her shart-stein,” Lyss wrote.

“I used to work with a BAllsman,” JenniferKerastas added.

“I worked with a Patrick Ecker at a previous job…” NoName wrote.

“Our high school used last name, first two letters of first name. My friend’s email ended up being ‘mountme,’” Averageldeal commented.

Andy Marks won the comment section with: “Always best to initiate the shart convo… wait too long and it tends to come out at the least opportune moment.”

Woman types on her phone. Photo credit: Canva

What the IT experts had to say

While the comments were dominated by people sharing their unfortunate email addresses, a few people in the IT field shared their advice for how Samantha should approach her new employer with her email issue. Most agreed that she should address the issue before it becomes a larger problem.

“As someone in IT—please reach out. When we have to rename a bunch of logins after someone starts it can cause headaches for everyone (inc you!),” Kelsey Lane wrote.

Expecting parents, please take notes.

As a postscript, Hart later told BuzzFeed that she was getting married and would be taking her new husband’s last name. “I actually will be sad when I change my last name,” she said. “It’s such an iconic thing, and it’s something that I’ve turned into a kind of lore for myself.”

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Lynalice Bandy shares what her home looks like after working six 10-hour days and getting no help from her husband.

Family, Modern Families

“You deserve better”: Mom leaves her husband after he refuses to clean up for 6 days straight

That’s the sound of women everywhere applauding.

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

5/5/2026

Household inequity is getting better in some households. In others, it’s completely out of control. A viral TikTok video highlights an extreme version of inequality that many wives and mothers in heterosexual relationships face. However, the mom in this story hit her limit and won’t deal with it anymore. Lynalice Bandy, who goes by @5kids5catssomedogstoo on TikTok, posted a video that showed her home looking like a disaster after she worked six 10-hour days straight while her husband did nothing to help.

@5kids2catsandsomechaos
#divorce #parentingfail #messyhouse #whenwomen #depressionanxiety #clean #satifying
♬ SUN GOES DOWN – Andreas Roehrig

Her time-lapse video shows every room in the house completely trashed, with toys, food, and laundry scattered everywhere. “Shampoo on the carpets in the girls’ room, nail polish all over nugget covers, hair, and carpet. Scissors were used to cut hair, the down comforter, the mattress cover, and two nugget covers,” wrote the mom. “I’ve worked six, ten-hour days in a row with only one day off being a sick day,” she captioned the video. “I’d like to pretend I’m not the only person who cleans here, but as you can see…These rooms don’t get much attention when I’m not here.”

She says her husband’s excuse was that he was focused on doing his schoolwork and couldn’t pay attention to the kids. “Now, that school is out for a break, he doesn’t have that excuse anymore,” Bandy says, noting that all of his attention has been focused on “the four vehicles in our driveway that he wants to work on continuously.”

She packed up and didn’t look back

In a follow-up video, Bandy announced that she left her husband after the debacle.

The original video received over 17,000 comments, many of which were from supportive women. “You deserve much better, and he deserves to be alone. Much love to you from someone that left that life behind almost 20 yrs ago. You’ll get here, too,” Angela LaRoche wrote.

“Ma’am, you are nothing short of amazing! Hang in there!” Japanese with Jenny wrote. “That home is beautiful because of YOU,” Hillary added. “You put in so much work, and it is not unseen by me and so many others. But, you DO deserve better. Proud of you.”

@5kids2catsandsomechaos
Sounds about right…
♬ Fuck you by Lily Allan – Jess🏹

Even though Bandy’s experience with her husband is an extreme case of a couple whose domestic duties are way out of balance, it points to a problem that plagues many households. Even though families are becoming more equal, women still do significantly more housework than men.

The numbers tell an even bigger story

A study utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey found that women 15 years and older spend 5.7 hours daily doing housework and looking after kids and elders. Men in the same age group do an average of 3.6 hours of daily domestic work. That’s a 37% difference in time spent on household responsibilities.

Further, women who work an average of 35 hours a week spend 4.9 hours a day on household chores and child care, while men who work the same amount spend an average of 3.8 hours.

@5kids2catsandsomechaos
Can you spot how many times Winky sits in a box or plops for belly rubs? #cleaning #messyhouse #clean #timelapse #oddlysatisfying #grwm #carpetcleaning #cattok
♬ If I Go, I’m Goin – Gregory Alan Isakov

The comments show that many women are frustrated with their husbands for not doing their fair share. Hopefully, this video will encourage more people to speak out about domestic inequality and for more men to step up and do their part.

Here is where she is now

Nearly two years after Lynalice left her husband, she and her five children are living together in a new home. Her recent videos show that she’s having difficulty keeping it clean because she’s been working 60-plus hours a week and suffers from ADHD. Being the single mother of five has to be tough, so she has developed a new motto: “Progress, not perfection.” In November 2024, she shared a video of her and her family getting things together in their new home.

This article originally appeared three years ago. It has been updated.

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The mother of artist Doug Weaver made a curriculum for him for dating

Family, Parenting

His mother gave him the ‘husbands in training’ course every parent should give their kids

This is exactly the kind of parenting more people wish they had received.

Tod Perry

Upworthy Staff

5/5/2026

Even though the marriage rate in the United States is on a steep decline, chances are that the majority of kids growing up today will get married at some point in their lives. If current trends continue, roughly 40% of those marriages will end in divorce, according to current research.

Research published in the Couple and Family Psychology journal found that the top five reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment, infidelity, too much conflict, getting married young, and financial problems.

Wouldn’t it be great if we were taught from a young age how to be a good spouse so we could avoid these pitfalls? Many of them are totally solvable with good communication and commitment from both parties. But in American culture, most of us aren’t taught the specifics of how to have a happy and healthy marriage. Most of us tend to pick things up from watching the married people in our orbit, most likely our parents.

No comment on how that’s going.

The other way we learn is by making the mistakes ourselves. By then, it’s usually too late. And the data around second and third marriages isn’t very promising when you dig into it.

One mom decided to do something about it

Artist Doug Weaver had a much different upbringing. His mother, Mickey, made a curriculum for him and his two older brothers when they were kids to help them be great husbands when they got married.

You’ve heard of things like “Mom-Son Date Night” (some dads and daughters do it, too) where mothers will take their boys out on a “date” so they can learn basic chivalry and manners?

Weaver’s training was like that on steroids.

“When I was a kid, my mom did this thing for me and my two older brothers called ‘Husbands in Training,’” he explained in a TikTok video that has more than 5.9 million views. “It was a full, multiple-level curriculum on how to be a better husband.”

@dougweaverart
Husbands in training! #parenting #storytime #story
♬ original sound – dougweaverart

Weaver says the training covered topics from chivalry to eating to a rather uncomfortable discussion on “the ethics of the porn industry.” His mother also stressed the importance of listening to women and identifying when another man may be giving them trouble.

“There was a lot of really good stuff in that curriculum,” Doug said. “There were things like what to do if your spouse says something and the information they give is wrong. How to handle it if they say something wrong in public versus in private, when it is appropriate to correct them and when it isn’t.”

Weaver’s mother was also way ahead of her time because she made a big deal about teaching her sons the importance of consent. “We talked about consent, we talked about the basics of respecting and honoring women and listening to women, and all of the things that really just make you a decent human being,” Doug explained.

A young Doug must have absolutely hated sitting through conversations with his mom about porn, sex, and consent… but as a grown man, he looks back on the lessons fondly.

The curriculum was so good, dad enrolled too

The lessons were so powerful that even Weaver’s father decided to take the course. “A lot of the things that we were learning from my mom were things that he was never taught growing up,” Weaver said. “So, he decided he also wanted to take ‘Husbands in Training.’”

It brings to mind pre-marriage counseling or couples therapy. Programs are often offered (or mandated) through churches, so they aren’t usually a great fit for the non-religious. And couples without active “problems” may resist the idea of attending couples therapy due to the stubborn stigma around it.

The course officially ended when Weaver and his brothers got married. “My mom even made certificates of completion that she signed and gave to each of us on our wedding day,” he shared in his TikTok clip.

View this post on Instagram

However, the video Weaver shared was so popular on TikTok that he’s making his mother’s course available to the general public. “After posting about ‘Husbands in Training’ on TikTok, the TT community really wants my mom to produce content about raising boys to be good men,” he wrote on a GoFundMe fundraising campaign in 2022.

Now the lessons are available to everyone

The overwhelming response to Weaver’s TikTok has inspired a YouTube channel to spread Mickey’s lessons far and wide. But it has also made a lot of people realize that teaching people how to be great spouses is a lifelong journey and should be a major part of child-rearing. Learning how to be a good spouse shouldn’t just be something we pick up by accident.

As for Doug Weaver, his training appears to be paying off in the form of a happy marriage. He has since said he plans to adapt the curriculum for his own children, with a particular focus on consent and healthy conflict resolution.

This article originally appeared four years ago. It has been updated.

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Photo credit: Canva – A pot left on a stove (left). A teen girl looking thoughtfully (right).

Family, Kids

A pot left on the stove overnight led to an award-winning science fair project and life-saving device

A problem at home led to a truly innovative idea.

Heather Wake

5/4/2026

Montreal-based 9th-grader Aviana Machnes didn’t only come up with an award-winning science fair idea, she created a device that could save the lives of dementia patients. It all started with a pot left out on the stove.

As reported by Global News, Machnes’ grandmother, who has early-onset dementia, had forgotten to take a pot off the hot stove, subsequently leaving it there overnight. Finding no solutions to this problem, Machnes decided to tackle it herself.

Using current sensors and motion detectors, Machnes created a device dubbed the Forget-Me-Not that will automatically set off an alarm if no one is around for an extended period of time.

This not only earned Machnes a top placement at her regional science fair (beating out older students) but it’s now something she hopes to patent (along with a phone app) that would be implemented into long-term care homes.

The invention is something that Jesse Clair, one of Machnes’ science teachers, calls a great example of how, even in a school environment, students can “get their hands dirty” to “work on actual real-world problems.”

A growing need for everyday safety solutions

Machnes’ device taps into a very real and increasing need. Dementia affects millions of people worldwide, and one of the most pressing concerns for families and caregivers is safety in the home when individuals are left without supervision. Everyday tasks like cooking can become dangerous when memory lapses occur. Devices like the Forget-Me-Not aim to bridge that gap, offering a layer of protection without taking away independence.

Other innovations are addressing similar concerns. Smart stove shut-off systems, for example, can automatically turn off burners if no movement is detected nearby. Wearable GPS trackers help caregivers locate loved ones who may wander. Some companies have even developed simplified communication tablets designed specifically for those with cognitive decline, allowing users to connect with family through easy-to-navigate interfaces.

Breakthroughs in dementia research

Beyond assistive devices, scientific research is making unprecedented progress in understanding and treating dementia. In recent years, new medications and lifestyle changes have been developed that may slow cognitive decline in patients with early-stage Alzheimer’s disease. In some cases, these changes may even prevent it entirely.

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Similarly, advancements in brain imaging have improved early detection, giving patients and families more time to plan and seek treatment. There is also growing interest in personalized care approaches, which tailor therapies to an individual’s specific condition and history.

When science fair ideas change lives

Science fairs have long been the starting point for inventions just like Machnes’ that later found real-world applications. One well-known example is a student-designed early warning system for heart attacks that used simple sensors to detect irregular patterns. Another young inventor created a low-cost water purification system that has since been adapted for use in communities lacking clean drinking water.

These projects often begin with a personal experience, much like Machnes’ story. A problem at home or in the community becomes the catalyst for experimentation. With guidance from teachers and access to basic tools, students can transform these creative ideas into tangible solutions. It really is a team effort.

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Photo credit: Canva – A nurse feeds a newborn.

Family, Moms

New Orleans is sending nurses on house calls to help new mothers

Bringing back house calls is improving the health of mothers and babies.

Erik Barnes

5/1/2026

According to the United Health Foundation, Louisiana is the least healthy state for women and children. For that state and many others, one major factor is the need to address the health of new mothers and their babies.

Most parents know how overwhelming it can feel to suddenly care for a newborn without much experienced help. With that in mind, New Orleans brought back house calls, sending nurses to support new mothers.

The program Family Connects New Orleans offers new mothers up to three in-home visits from a registered nurse for babies up to 12 weeks old. It allows nurses to check in on both the babies and their mothers to ensure they’re safe and healthy.

The nurses are also able to spot symptoms of postpartum depression earlier, allowing mothers to receive treatment sooner. According to Rosemary Westwood of WWNO, “About 10% of moms participating in the New Orleans program were eventually diagnosed with postpartum depression, compared with 6% of moms who did not get the visits.”

How does this work?

The nurses visit with supplies for the baby, perform examinations (such as checking the child’s weight), and help answer any questions from the mothers.

“We got to do some real things real differently, unless you like being number 50 all the time,” Dr. Jennifer Avegno, New Orleans’ health director, told NPR. “There is no more critical time and vulnerable time than right at birth and in the few weeks to months following birth.”

“You go, you have your delivery, you’re in the hospital and everything is there. You go home, there’s a bit of a honeymoon period, and then, for many women, you fall off a cliff,” Avegno told The Guardian. “It’s the time in your life when your resources are generally at their lowest. We often don’t know about it until you hit one of our systems later on, whether that’s child protection, whether it’s the ER, whether it’s substance use treatment.”

The program, which shows great potential for New Orleans, has found success in other states. When it was introduced in North Carolina, both mothers and their babies’ health significantly benefited from the home visits. In fact, a Duke University study of the program found that every dollar invested in the home visits saved $3.14 in healthcare billing before the child turned two.

@thatheitgirl
Sometimes supporting a friend who’s deep in postpartum life feels overwhelming because you don’t always know what she needs or how to show up. That’s why this postpartum scale is such a game changer. I put together 17 simple, practical ways to use someone’s “number” to guide you; from knowing when to send help, to when to offer company, to when to just let her rest. It takes the guesswork out of supporting each other and makes showing up feel natural instead of awkward or intrusive. And even though I created this scale with postpartum moms in mind, it’s just as powerful for anyone navigating mental illness, chronic illness, burnout, or big emotional seasons. Sometimes people don’t have the words to explain where they’re at, but they can give you a number. That number can help you understand their capacity, their needs, and how to support them without pushing too hard. It’s a tool that builds connection, reduces isolation, and reminds all of us that we don’t need to struggle alone. #PostpartumSupport #MentalHealthTools #MaternalMentalHealth #SupportYourFriends
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Where can new mothers get support?

If you or someone you know is expecting, it may be worth seeing if a similar program is available near you. Organizations such as Welcome Baby in Los Angeles or national ones like Nurse-Family Partnership could help. The Health Resources & Services Administration has a database to find assistance near you as well.

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