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Identity

Interracial and intercultural couples share the biggest things they had to get used to

Love unites people across cultures, creating some unexpected but valuable learning experiences.

interracial couple smiling and laughing together

Photo by Jennifer Lim-Tamkican on Unsplash

Interracial relationships can have unexpected learning opportunities.

Humanity in general has come a long way when it comes to interracial relationships. It used to be that interracial marriage was deemed wrong and even illegal in some U.S. states, but with the world continually shrinking due to transportation and technology advances, we increasingly see more interracial and intercultural relationships more often.

But the broad social embrace of cross-cultural love doesn’t mean it’s challenge-free. Norms, expectations and traditions can vary widely between people from different backgrounds, and sometimes those differences can create some surprising—and sometimes hilarious—misunderstandings. Interracial and intercultural relationships come with some specific challenges, but navigating those challenges successfully can help build unity and understanding between individuals, families and ultimately society.

A Reddit user asked, “Interracial couples of Reddit, what was the biggest difference you had to get used to?” and people shared stories that celebrate the unexpected elements of their partners' racial and cultural realities that they learned to adjust to.

The dishwasher that isn't used to wash dishes

“The dishwasher being used as a drying rack and not to actually wash dishes.” – Lucky_Extent8765

“Dude wtf Latina girlfriend just dropped this bomb on me.

‘We don’t trust machines like that’

‘Ok but you just put our clothes in the washing machine and started it though…’” – Worldly_Collection27

“Had a Latina friend who I was ‘talking to’ but never actually ended up dating, had her, her friend, and a couple of others over for dinner and her and her friend offered to help with the dishes, they ended up hand washing everything and drying it in the dishwasher. I told them the dishwasher works fine and they were like ‘we don't do that in South American families.’ "– Particular_Fan_3645

The intricacies of hair care

“I’m a white dude married to a black woman. I had no idea about the whole culture of hair upkeep for black women. How much it costs. How much time it takes. How much it’s a connection point for her and other women.

Interestingly, what was a bigger adjustment had nothing to do with race. I’m an only child and she is one of five so obviously the family dynamics are quite different.

Next month we will be married for 24 years so I guess it’s all good.” – loudnate0701

“When I met my wife she had short straight hair and had been relaxing/straightening it pretty much her whole life. 6 years ago she decided she wanted to go natural and started to grow it out. She started getting it braided professionally and whenever she’d get new braids I’d basically have an entire weekend day to myself, it would take 8-10 hours. But eventually she wanted to do natural locs and wanted to do them herself. It was a challenge for a while but now her natural hair is down to her shoulders & locked. She washes her hair every 2-3 weeks and when she decides to do that it’s literally a 6 hour process between washing, re-twisting & drying.

But yeah, the time spent when she was getting it braided and the money spent on different products/bonnets was wild to me lol.” – Zealousideal-Life868

“My story is how this could've gone awry:

We went on our first date and hit it way off. She had kind of a shorter bob thing going, relaxed/straightened. Super cute. Anyway, I ask her for a second date and she tells me she has a hair appointment that day. I go okay well, so how about after...if it's at noon, surely we can have dinner?

Long story short, I was butthurt thinking she was blowing me off with a cheap excuse because I was entirely unaware of getting her hair done means PTO at work. She, on the other hand, naturally never considered I wouldn't really know about that and was baffled and annoyed when I wrote her a slightly sulky "well it's fine I just thought we...bla bla" message.

We somehow ended up landing on mutual ground and after about a two hour conversation explaining the colossal undertaking that is getting braids laterI felt like a straight jackass 😅.

We're still together and happy and I've named her head scarf Toni.” – NosferatuCalled

The social expectations at family gatherings

"An ex was Latina, and while there really weren't any "social" things that were new getting used to her family dynamic took some adjusting because they were very close and involved in each other's lives so it was normal for the weekends inevitable BBQ to be something I was expected to be present for if she was going, because otherwise 16+ people would grill her about me not coming." – blahbabooey

"Yes! My husband is Dominican and I’m white and his family NEEDS me at every function, no matter what. Or when his mom calls, I can always hear her asking if I’m close by. And my husband is kinda like that too, he doesn’t wanna do anything without me and I’m more okay with being solo and staying home once in awhile." – Both_Dust_8383

"Have ever tried refusing food? Or that one shot of tequila being passed around? How about that “one more dance”? Have you ever forgotten to say good bye to everyone individually at least twice before leaving? Cause it sounds like you’re me lol. Married 20 years to my wife though. It never changes." – JnyBlkLabel

"I didn’t eat at my husband's grandma's house once (in the Dominican Republic) cuz there was no ac, it was summer, and I had just broken a rib 5 days before our trip. I was in bad pain and sooooooo hot, I could not eat!!! But did it break abuelas heart??? Absolutely. It was tough." – Both_Dust_8383

When no means yes and you're supposed to keep asking

"I was born and raised in the Netherlands (I'm half Italian half Indonesian but did not grow up with those cultures at home except a little). My girlfriend is Persian.

In the Netherlands, or at least in my experience, when people say no to something, then they mean no. While apparently for persians it's seen as polite to decline at least the first offer, often also the second even if you actually really want.

So for example, If she would offer me a cookie and i'd say no, She would ask another 3 times before letting it go, which was cute but also annoying. Meanwhile when i offer her a cookie and she says no. I just quit asking and then she gets a little mad that i didn't ask her a couple of times more.

It's not like the biggest difference or anything but it's a cute, and in the beginning, a very confusing difference." – LokMatrona

"Haha, we have the same thing in Ireland - if you’re offered food, drink, etc, you’re expected to say no the first couple of times. My mother in law thought her English nieces and nephews were ‘a bit forward’ because if she’s offer them a cup of tea they’d say ‘Yes please, that would be lovely.’" – MichaSound

"My wife is Persian and I’m English. The craziest thing she told me is if you’re a guest in your host’s house and you compliment some object in their house, the rules of hospitality require them to offer it to you. So you may say, 'Wow I love that mirror!' and they will say 'Please, have it!' You will of course refuse, but they will vehemently insist that you take it. This back-and-forth can go on for some time (despite the ironic truth that you absolutely do not want to take it, and they absolutely do not want to give it to you)." – th1sishappening

Learning about one another's popular culture

"My partner is from California, I'm from Singapore. I think the biggest difference is popular culture --- everything from your childhood tv shows, the iconic music of your teens, even your education system, is going to be different. You cannot expect your partner to know what Mr. Rogers is/have watched XYZ cartoon. All assumptions have to be thrown out of the window.

I think it's a good thing tbh, you start from zero. It makes you completely aware of how vast the world around you is, and I keep learning new things everyday. Just yesterday I learned that in California, there's a mascot called Smokey Bear that taught kids about forest fires. In turn, I told her about Singa the Courtesy Lion, which is a mascot to teach people courtesy/good manners. We had an entire discussion about mascots and teaching populations, and it was so fascinating. This happens so much that sometimes we can't stop talking to each other lol" – kafetheresu

"Bit of that with my wife. She was born in China but moved to Canada from age 9 to 19, then back to China again. So there's some overlap for that middle period, but that early childhood stuff is very different. Was fun though when she met my brother's girlfriend from Ukraine and they bonded over having both watched the same old Soviet cartoons as kids." – Cinquedea19

"I’m from Texas and my wife is from Nigeria. We also have this dynamic!! It’s pretty beautiful to learn about a whole other culture/way of life. One challenge is our families are across the world from each other." – PositionLogical2342

From Your Site Articles

Mental Health

There's a new personality type called the 'otrovert' and one major trait sets it apart

"I feel seen for the first time in my life!"

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Photo Credit: Canva

A person stands out in a crowd.

So many of us have the desire to compartmentalize our personality traits into neat little boxes. "Oh, she's such an INFJ. Oh, he's such a Gemini." Some of it is rooted (well sort of) in psychology, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, based loosely on Jungian ideas. Others rely on arguably less scientific data like stars and "rising signs." Humans aren't usually that simple.

That said, there's still value in understanding one's own personality and inclinations. Here's a confession: I've taken countless personality tests because I just couldn't figure out if I was an extrovert or an introvert. Neither description quite fit, and as someone constantly trying to understand what makes me tick, this has been frustrating.

Turns out, there are other options. The term "ambivert" got popularized in the 1930s (after being coined by Edmund S. Conklin in 1923), and it refers to a person "who has features of both an introvert (someone who prefers to spend time alone) and an extrovert (someone who prefers to be with other people) in their personality."

@tedtoks
Replying to @Factura🛄 now knowing what an ambivert is, how would you describe yourself? #ambivert #introvert #extrovert #adamgrant #psychology #TEDTalk #worklife

But for those who still don't quite relate, meet the otrovert. Just recently, psychiatrist Rami Kaminski published The Gift of Not Belonging, in which he discusses his coined term to describe a whole new type of personality. In an Insta-reel captioned "What is an Otrovert?" Kaminski mentions the polarization of introverts and extroverts. "When Jung invented the terms extrovert and introvert, he saw them as two fundamental orientations of the personality. I see the otrovert in the same way. A personality trait that faces away from the group."

He continues, "Extroverts and introverts are inherently communal, while the otrovert is an outsider to the group. In itself, it is not a problem or condition, nor is it a diagnostic label. It simply means that while most people learn to develop a sense of belonging to a specific group through social conditioning, otroverts remain social but not communal."

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In writer Sarjna Rai's piece, "Struggle to Fit the Mold? The 'Otrovert' Personality Explains Why" for Business Standard, they write: "Unlike introverts or extroverts, otroverts are not defined by where they draw their social energy. Instead, the concept captures people who constantly feel like outsiders, and tend to look in a different direction altogether, not necessarily aligned with the rest of the group."

While it's impossible to group people into perfect categories, Rai explains that Kaminski claims the main thing that sets otroverts apart is their "reluctance to conform to group norms."

Writer Avery White lists signs one might be an otrovert in the article "7 Signs You Might Be an Otrovert" for VegOut. Among them is preferring "high-signal conversations and low-maintenance relationships." They give this as an example: "You’ll happily spend three hours exploring one idea with one person—and then not speak for weeks without either of you taking it personally. In other words, low pressure, low expectations, high connection.

Another on the list—and this is a big one according to Kaminski—is: "You can look extroverted in public—yet feel fundamentally 'other.'" This is actually the crux of the term, and in fact, what Kaminski formed The Otherness Institute for: as their website says, "those who feel they don't belong."

The site also shares that recognizing aspects of this type in yourself and others (if it applies) will help "balance between your individuality and your function as part of the social matrix that determines your well-being. The experience of otherness in a togetherness-minded world can be emotionally bruising. Often misunderstood and misdiagnosed, otherness may lead individuals to feel strange, lonely, and unwelcome in groups. Left unidentified, otroverts' non-belonging can result in a frustrating, futile lifetime effort of trying to 'fit in.'"

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Some Redditors are scrambling to figure out if they fit into this category. In the subreddit r/INTP (referencing one of the Myers-Briggs personality types), the OP asks, "Maybe I am an 'otrovert?'" Under this, they write, "Dr. Kaminski described the otrovert child as 'neurotypical, friendly, curious, well-adjusted, and often popular' yet 'they resist being pressured into group activities.'"

While this can seem inconsequential in childhood, joining the peer group "becomes critically important" in adolescence, said the psychiatrist, and teens "start to gauge their self-worth based on the group’s ranking of popularity (or unpopularity).'

"Membership in a group, no matter how lowly, is better than being an outsider," he added. "Otroverts, however, are comfortable with being outsiders and find it impossible to feel like insiders, regardless of how welcome they are.'

There are a handful of commenters who feel seen, but many push back, claiming the term could easily apply to other personality traits. One writes, "I think it's easy to resonate with this description... but as some warning noted, there aren't enough studies done about this term that people should be running to adopt it. I resonated with it after reading about it... But I have ADHD and persistent depressive disorder... both of which coincide with the descriptions of an otrovert."

Time will tell if this new term sticks, but for now, it's helping a lot of people feel more understood.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Humor

The weird history of Spoonerisms: English's silliest slips-of-the-tongue

No, these slip-ups don't mean you have drain bamage.

spoonerism, william archibald spooner, w.a. spooner, english language, english, language, words, diction, phonetics

Bain News Service/Wikimedia Commons & Leslie Ward/Wikimedia Commons

When you accidentally flip the beginning or ending sounds of two words when speaking, that's a Spoonerism.

We all make mistakes when speaking off the cuff. Sometimes we flub a word, stutter, or forget the point we were trying to make. Other times, our slip-ups are far more hilarious, like when we unwittingly swap the beginning or ending sounds of two words in a sentence.

"I'm going to bead a rook," or "I'll see you at Brunday Sunch," may seem like random gaffs, but they are actually a well-documented phenomenon with a strange history and an official, if goofy-sounding, name: Spoonerisms.

It all started with a man named William Archibald Spooner in the 1800s.

Spooner, a tutor and eventually Dean at New College of Oxford, was initially known for his kindness—even though he was also a little odd.

spoonerism, william archibald spooner, w.a. spooner, english language, english, language, words, diction, phoneticse New College, Oxford; the birthplace of the SpoonerismHoncques Laus/Wikmedia Commons

"One touching story describes how Spooner insisted on providing an Egyptian student with extra blankets and warm clothes, as the boy was struggling with the British climate. Another tells of a student who had injured himself while playing hockey. Spooner paid for his medical expenses, as his family could not afford them. Spooner’s odd behaviour could be off-putting at times, but he had his students’ best interests at heart" writes Sami Anderson-Talbi for New College.

Soon after, however, he began to be known for something else: His absent-mindedness and a tendency to flub his words in a peculiar manner. These were quickly dubbed Spoonerisms by his students, and the legend grew rapidly.

Anderson-Talbi writes that a Spoonerism is defined as, "the unintentional mix-up of parts or words, thoughts, and phrases, often resulting in humorous phrases or situations."

Documented Spoonerisms include referring to a "Dr. Childe's Friend" as "Dr. Friend's child," and warning a group of undergraduate students about the "weight of rages" (rate of wages). But soon, Spooner's reputation for misspeaking grew and more and more examples came to light. Some of them were apocryphal, others were complete fiction, including:

"It is kisstomary to cuss the bride." (It is customary to kiss the bride.)
"You have hissed all my mystery lectures." (You have missed all my history lectures.)
"You have tasted two worms." (You have wasted two terms.)
"Sew me to another sheet." (Show me to another seat.)
"The Lord is a shoving leopard." (The Lord is a loving shepherd.)

But at that point, the reputation stuck.

spoonerism, william archibald spooner, w.a. spooner, english language, english, language, words, diction, phonetics Sadly, Spooner wasn't a huge fan of his silly reputation.Bain News Service/Wikimedia Commons

Spoonerisms were far from an inside joke on the Oxford campus. In 1924, Spooner wrote in his diary that he met an American woman who was thrilled to meet a "celebrity" such as himself.

In fact, the mythical power of Spoonerisms was so strong that Spooner is said to have spoken extremely slowly with many pauses in an effort to make fewer mistakes. But his thought process was also evident in his writings, with many words crossed out and paragraphs rife with errors. "Spooner’s mind seemed to move at a pace faster than his mouth—or in this case pen—could keep up with," writes Anderson-Talbi.

Spooner was not a fan of his reputation for Spoonerisms, and after one speech, sighed and announced, "And now I suppose you will expect me to say one of those things."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Language Testing International writes that Spoonerisms can be caused by any number of factors. Most commonly, rushing or being distracted when speaking can lead to mixing up your words. So can a sort of computing error in your brain, where the sentence you were planning on saying changes at the very last second and the words come out mixed up. Spoonerisms can also show up more when you're tired, or in children, who have to work harder to focus on correct diction.

It's not just English, either. Different languages have Spoonerisms too.

Frequent Spoonerisms can also sometimes be anecdotally linked to disabilities like Dyslexia or ADHD. Difficulties with speech or any condition where someone's brain is moving "faster" than their mouth can manifest in slip-ups like Spoonerisms.

Ultimately, however, we are all guilty of the occasional Spoonerism. And though Spooner himself didn't love that the flubs were officially named after him, he may have felt better if he knew how much laughter and delight we all get out of each other's Spoonerisms today.

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Science

8th grader's award-winning experiment finally reveals if a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's

You've heard the myth. Now read the science.

dog experiments, dog tongue cleaner than humans, experiments by kids, cool science, dogs, fun science, experiments, science

Photo credit: Canva

A young teen boy holding a beagle.

Dogs come in a wide variety of breeds, along with their own unique personalities and needs. They can be guardians, helpful workers, loyal friends, snuggly companions, but there's one thing almost all dogs have in common: Licking.

Sure, some dogs lick way more than others, but it's rare to find a dog who never licks anyone or anything. Many dogs communicate and show affection by licking, which is sweet—if a little gross—depending on how slobbery they are. There's a common saying that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans', which is a bit hard to believe when you see what some dogs put in their mouths, but it is true?

What does science say about dog tongues and saliva? Is a dog licking our face something we should worry about?

dog experiments, dog tongue cleaner than humans, experiments by kids, cool science, dogs, fun science, experiments, science A man being licked by a golden retreiver. Photo credit: Canva

It turns out, the answer to whether a dog's mouth is cleaner than ours isn't super straightforward.

An 8th grader named Abby tackled this question in a science experiment that won her a Young Naturalists Award from the American Museum of Natural History in 2011. Her family had gotten a dog and her mom kept telling her not to let the dog lick her face because dog mouths are full of bacteria. Instead of arguing, Abby decided to find out herself if this was true.

"I hypothesized that human tongues would be cleaner than dog tongues," she wrote. "I thought this because humans brush their teeth at least once a day. I hypothesized that dogs' tongues would be dirty because they were always licking dirty things like garbage."

After diving into the research about bacteria that live in and on humans and dogs, Abby decided she had a testable hypothesis. But this wasn't any old middle school science experiment. She applied for and got a grant to the State Hygienic Lab at the University of Iowa, where she was assigned a mentor to work with her.

You can read the nitty-gritty details of her experiment here, but it involved a lab, swabs, agar plates, and more. Here was the conclusion:

dog experiments, dog tongue cleaner than humans, experiments by kids, cool science, dogs, fun science, experiments, science A dog's tongue close-up. Photo credit: Canva

"I concluded that dog and human mouth flora are very different. (Flora means the bacteria found in a mouth or anywhere else.) The bacteria found in human mouths are more similar to another human's oral bacteria than the bacteria found in a dog's mouth.

"I also concluded that dogs' mouths are cleaner than humans' in some ways, and dirtier in other ways. Humans have more bacteria in their mouths than dogs do, based on the total number of bacteria. Most of the humans had a 'moderate' number of bacteria, and most of the dogs had 'few' bacteria. A possible explanation of this might be that dogs pant a lot, and maybe while panting, bacteria falls off their tongues along with their saliva. But dogs had more types of bacteria. The average number of different bacterial colonies in a dog's mouth was about 5.7. The average number of different bacterial colonies in a human's mouth was about 4.1. I think this is so because dogs sniff and lick a variety of things, like carpets, floors, chairs, grass, etc., so they pick up bacteria from many places."

But what about the licking of our faces? That's a bit of a subjective call, but Abby's results gave her some peace of mind:

"In conclusion, will I let my dog continue to lick me? The answer to the question is yes!" she wrote. "I will feel guiltless about letting my dog lick me because I found out that human and dog oral bacteria are different, so my dog's oral bacteria present no harm to me."

What do the experts say?

According to Colin Harvey, professor at the University of Pennsylvania’s School of Veterinary Medicine and executive secretary at the American Veterinary Dental College, comparing dogs' mouths to humans' mouth is "like comparing apples to oranges." As Abby found, the microbes in a dog's mouth are very different than those in a human's.

The American Kennel Club elaborates:

"Most of the bacteria in your dog’s mouth aren’t zoonotic, which means you probably won’t get a disease from a big old doggy kiss. There are exceptions to this. Dogs that eat a raw diet are at an increased risk of contracting salmonella, which can be spread to humans. You also probably shouldn’t share kisses with a dog that regularly raids the litter box.

In other words, kissing your dog is less risky than kissing another human, but that doesn’t mean that your dog’s mouth is necessarily cleaner than a human’s—they just have a mostly incompatible set of germs."

Keeping your dog's mouth healthy through regular teeth cleaning and dental check-ups can also help prevent issues that could potentially come from dog licks.

dog experiments, dog tongue cleaner than humans, experiments by kids, cool science, dogs, fun science, experiments, science A golden retreiver getting their teeth brushed. Photo credit: Canva

So there you have it. If your dog doesn't eat a raw diet and doesn't go snacking in the cat box (or some other equally fecal-bacteria-ridden place), their kisses are probably not going to hurt you. Guilt-free pooch smooches for the win!

This article originally appeared last year.

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Education

'Never disagree with anyone': Behavioral scientist shares conflict-free trick to changing minds

Never start with disagreement.

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via Canva/Photos

People debating at a city council meeting.

One of the most challenging things to do as a communicator is to convince someone you disagree with to listen to you. You’re fighting against a host of psychological phenomena that prevent people from changing their minds or listening to those with whom they disagree. Persuasion is incredibly difficult because we’ve evolved to cling to our views no matter what.

One of the most pronounced psychological blockages is the backfire effect, which states that when people are confronted with information that challenges their opinion, even if it is indisputable, they will hold onto their views even more strongly than before.

So, what are we to do in a world where there is so much misinformation and zombie lies flying around? Dr. Alison Wood Brooks, a professor at Harvard Business School who studies conversation and emotion, shares the key to having a constructive dialogue with people we disagree with is: Don’t invalidate them.

stressed couple, couple's therapy, therapist, upset woman, upset man, Couple arguing during therapy.via Canva/Photos

The moment we invalidate someone by saying, “I disagree,” we’ve killed our chance at persuading them. Dr. Books believes that changing people’s beliefs is important, but it only happens over time. So, it's pointless to disagree at the onset of the conversation. “The only way that we change our beliefs is usually across many conversations and we're around someone we like talking to and respect and have admiration for. And then over time, we sort of bend to the gentle pressure of their differing viewpoint,” she told Bartlett.

Dr. Brooks shared her strategy in a recent appearance on the Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Three steps to disagreeing with someone without invalidating them

1. You don’t need to be certain

“Even if you're right, like it's not about being right or wrong in that moment. The goal here is to keep the conversation in an emotional place where it can continue. So, you can continue to engage. And that's what these researchers find in this receptiveness recipe,” Dr. Books said. The receptiveness recipe is a research project by Harvard and the University of British Columbia that created a formula for the most effective way to disagree with someone.

2. Hedge your claims

“I think often people think of these types of things as weakness because it's like our instinct is to try to win and be right. And instead, what I'm saying is no, hedge your claims. Show that you're uncertain about stuff. Validate their feelings. Divide yourself into disagreeing parts because you're not certain about anything, in order to keep the conversation going, so that you have any shred of hope of persuading them over the longer term.”

If they say the sky is purple:

“That’s interesting. I'd love to hear more.”

“As a painter, who knows a bit about color, that is so intriguing.”

The key is to make it an emotionally safe dialogue and show you’re interested in what they have to say. In turn, they'll be more receptive to your thoughts.

argument, debate, coworkers, art, questions, why Two coworkers debate each other.via Canva/Photos

3. Hold back your disagreement

“I wrote this chapter in my book called 'Do Not Disagree.' It's an intentionally provocative chapter because people think, ‘What do you mean, never disagree with anybody?’ But I mean, don't make the first thing you say 'I disagree,'" Bartlett adds.

“That's right. It can come later,” Dr. Books added. “It can come later, but first has to come like ‘Oh, it's so intriguing that you said that. I'm so fascinated, and it makes sense that you might feel that way. I wonder if…’ and then you can go on instead of ‘I disagree.’”

Ultimately, the key is understanding that changing someone’s mind takes time and is nearly impossible if we shut down the conversation by invalidating them. By delaying the instant gratification of saying, “You’re wrong! I got you, here are the facts,” you can create a space where they are more open to listening to what you have to say. You've validated their beliefs, so they'll be more likely to consider yours.

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Education & Information

Two states dominate the 2026 'Best Places to Retire' list, but the top city isn't in either of them

Who would have guessed the best place to retire in the U.S. would be in Michigan?

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Photo credit: Canva

Where will you retire?

If you're fortunate enough to live long enough to stop working and enjoy your golden years in retirement, you may start to wonder where you want to spend them. When you're no longer tied to a place by a job or family obligations, and you're looking for the best bang for your buck along with the amenities you want and need, it's natural to begin searching for the best places to retire.

Many people's first thought when it comes to retirement is "south," which is why some of the places on the U.S. News & World Report’s 2026 list of "Best Places to Retire in the U.S." may come as a surprise. While the rankings are dominated by Florida and Texas, those two states account for only a little over half of the Top 20. Many of the remaining cities, including the No. 1 spot, are located in the northern part of the country, in places that are decidedly not warm come wintertime.

The list was compiled using criteria such as quality of life, overall value, tax rates, senior population/migration trends, and health care quality. Let's go through the Top 10:

1. Midland, Michigan

If you've never heard of Midland, that's probably because it has a population of less than 43,000 people. However, the median home price is just north of $200,000 and rent isn't even $800, so your retirement dollar would go pretty far there. The small city sits at the confluence of two rivers and is also the home of Dow Chemical. Do with that information what you will.

2. Weirton, West Virginia

We're going even smaller for No. 2. Weirton has less than 19,000 people and a median home value of just over $124,000, making it uber affordable. Rent will set you back around $550. And it's only about a 40-minute drive to Pittsburgh, so if you get bored, you can always hit the bigger city.

3. Homosassa Springs, Florida

Ever heard of this one? It has a population of about 15,000 (they're really pushing the small-town retirement angle here) and a median home value of around $219,000. Located in western Florida between Tampa and the Panhandle, the town is home to a state wildlife park, and is undoubtedly warmer than the first two places on the list.

4. The Woodlands, Texas

The Woodlands is a bit bigger, crossing into six-figure population territory at just over 116,000 residents. We also see a jump in home prices in this suburb of Houston, though, with a median price of $474,000 and average rent a bit over $1,400. The city's website refers to it as a "destination whose culture and offerings rival the nation's largest and most vibrant cities," so that sounds promising.

5. Spring, Texas

With a population of around 68,000, Spring is close to, but more affordable than, The Woodlands, with a median home price of about $251,000. Rent isn't much lower, though, at just over $1,300. Definitely look into buying a house instead of renting if this is where you choose to spend your retirement.

6. Rio Rancho, New Mexico

rio rancho, new mexico, best places to retire, retirement, aging Rio Rancho, New Mexico.G. Edward Johnson/Wikimedia Commons

Moving west, Rio Rancho is a northern suburb of Albuquerque. It's home to about 108,000 people, and the median home value is about $310,000. Rent runs about $1,200. If that classic Southwest feel is your thing, this is where to go.

7. Spring Hill, Florida

Lost of springs on this list, eh? If you're looking for a 100,000+ population without a significantly higher cost of living, Spring Hill gives you the best bang for your bigger-city buck. (Not that 100,000 is a big city by most standards, but it's not a small town either.) The median home price is just over $300,000, and rent comes in a little above $1,100.

8. Altoona, Pennsylvania

Altoona is the least expensive place to live among the Top 10, with a median home price under $115,000. (Did anyone know there were still places with home prices like that anymore?) The city has a population of about 43,000, and median rent sits around $660. Not too shabby, price-wise. Not sure what people do in Altoona, but it's probably affordable.

9. Palm Coast, Florida

palm coast, florida, ocean, coast, retirement Palm Coast is on the eastern coast of Florida.Wikimedia Commons/Lance Asper

Palm Coast just sounds like a place to retire, doesn't it? Located on Florida's east coast, north of Daytona Beach, Palm Coast has a median home price close to $380,000 and rent approaching $1,500. It's not the most affordable spot in the Top 10, but hey, palm trees, right?

10. Lynchburg, Virginia

Named for Quaker John Lynch and founded in 1757, Lynchburg is the oldest city in the top places to retire, so if history is your thing, this would be a good option. With about 80,000 residents, it's neither a small town nor a large city, and with a median home price under $224,000 and rent just over $900, it's affordable, too.

Here's how the rest of the Top 20 rounds out:

11. Bismarck, North Dakota

12. Victoria, Texas

13. Palm Harbor, Florida

14. Rochester Hills, Michigan

15. Troy, Michigan

16. Sioux Falls, South Dakota

17. Pearland, Texas

18. Naples, Florida

19. Pensacola, Florida

20. Conroe, Texas

Again, lots of Florida and Texas, but a surprising showing from Michigan and the Dakotas, too.

retirement, retired couple, park, relaxation, where to retire Retirement looks different in different places. Photo credit: Canva

What should people consider when they're looking for a place to retire?

U.S. News & World Report used its own criteria to compile this list, but what should the average person look for when thinking about where they might want to retire? Kiplinger's "A New Guide to Choosing Where to Retire" shares five considerations to keep in mind:

1. Local tax rates

States tax retirement income differently, and property taxes vary widely from place to place. Because retirees need to stretch their retirement funds carefully, taxes are an important factor to look into and understand before settling somewhere.

2. Health care

As we age, our health care needs often change and increase. Additionally, health insurance for retirees may have local limitations, so it's important to make sure your plan lines up well with wherever you end up. The quality of doctors and specialists, along with access to medical facilities, are also big considerations.

3. Lifestyle suitability

Are you active and adventurous? Do you want easy access to cultural experiences and the arts? Do you desire peace and quiet? Is sunshine and warmth important to you? Do you want to garden year-round? Do you plan to travel and want to live near a major airport? All you have is time when you're retired, so thinking through how you'll want to spend it is key.

beach, coast, ocean, retirement, retired couple What kind of environment do you want to be in when you retire?Photo credit: Canva

4. Climate risks

In the 21st century, the way climate change affects different regions is a major consideration. Places prone to natural disasters like wildfires, floods, and hurricanes may be less appealing as those events become more frequent and intense.

5. Sense of community

Who you spend time with matters, and having a sense of community can make a big difference in how your days feel. In retirement, having a community can also help you have a more regular schedule as you set up routine times to get together with others, volunteer, or otherwise be socially active.

Whether you're close to it or just thinking ahead, there's a lot to consider when it comes to where you retire.

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