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Interracial and intercultural couples share the biggest things they had to get used to

Love unites people across cultures, creating some unexpected but valuable learning experiences.

interracial couple smiling and laughing together
Photo by Jennifer Lim-Tamkican on Unsplash

Interracial relationships can have unexpected learning opportunities.

Humanity in general has come a long way when it comes to interracial relationships. It used to be that interracial marriage was deemed wrong and even illegal in some U.S. states, but with the world continually shrinking due to transportation and technology advances, we increasingly see more interracial and intercultural relationships more often.

But the broad social embrace of cross-cultural love doesn’t mean it’s challenge-free. Norms, expectations and traditions can vary widely between people from different backgrounds, and sometimes those differences can create some surprising—and sometimes hilarious—misunderstandings. Interracial and intercultural relationships come with some specific challenges, but navigating those challenges successfully can help build unity and understanding between individuals, families and ultimately society.

A Reddit user asked, “Interracial couples of Reddit, what was the biggest difference you had to get used to?” and people shared stories that celebrate the unexpected elements of their partners' racial and cultural realities that they learned to adjust to.

The dishwasher that isn't used to wash dishes

“The dishwasher being used as a drying rack and not to actually wash dishes.” – Lucky_Extent8765


“Dude wtf Latina girlfriend just dropped this bomb on me.

‘We don’t trust machines like that’

‘Ok but you just put our clothes in the washing machine and started it though…’” – Worldly_Collection27


“Had a Latina friend who I was ‘talking to’ but never actually ended up dating, had her, her friend, and a couple of others over for dinner and her and her friend offered to help with the dishes, they ended up hand washing everything and drying it in the dishwasher. I told them the dishwasher works fine and they were like ‘we don't do that in South American families.’ "– Particular_Fan_3645

The intricacies of hair care

“I’m a white dude married to a black woman. I had no idea about the whole culture of hair upkeep for black women. How much it costs. How much time it takes. How much it’s a connection point for her and other women.

Interestingly, what was a bigger adjustment had nothing to do with race. I’m an only child and she is one of five so obviously the family dynamics are quite different.

Next month we will be married for 24 years so I guess it’s all good.” – loudnate0701


“When I met my wife she had short straight hair and had been relaxing/straightening it pretty much her whole life. 6 years ago she decided she wanted to go natural and started to grow it out. She started getting it braided professionally and whenever she’d get new braids I’d basically have an entire weekend day to myself, it would take 8-10 hours. But eventually she wanted to do natural locs and wanted to do them herself. It was a challenge for a while but now her natural hair is down to her shoulders & locked. She washes her hair every 2-3 weeks and when she decides to do that it’s literally a 6 hour process between washing, re-twisting & drying.

But yeah, the time spent when she was getting it braided and the money spent on different products/bonnets was wild to me lol.” – Zealousideal-Life868


“My story is how this could've gone awry:

We went on our first date and hit it way off. She had kind of a shorter bob thing going, relaxed/straightened. Super cute. Anyway, I ask her for a second date and she tells me she has a hair appointment that day. I go okay well, so how about after...if it's at noon, surely we can have dinner?

Long story short, I was butthurt thinking she was blowing me off with a cheap excuse because I was entirely unaware of getting her hair done means PTO at work. She, on the other hand, naturally never considered I wouldn't really know about that and was baffled and annoyed when I wrote her a slightly sulky "well it's fine I just thought we...bla bla" message.

We somehow ended up landing on mutual ground and after about a two hour conversation explaining the colossal undertaking that is getting braids laterI felt like a straight jackass 😅.

We're still together and happy and I've named her head scarf Toni.” – NosferatuCalled

The social expectations at family gatherings

"An ex was Latina, and while there really weren't any "social" things that were new getting used to her family dynamic took some adjusting because they were very close and involved in each other's lives so it was normal for the weekends inevitable BBQ to be something I was expected to be present for if she was going, because otherwise 16+ people would grill her about me not coming." – blahbabooey

"Yes! My husband is Dominican and I’m white and his family NEEDS me at every function, no matter what. Or when his mom calls, I can always hear her asking if I’m close by. And my husband is kinda like that too, he doesn’t wanna do anything without me and I’m more okay with being solo and staying home once in awhile." – Both_Dust_8383

"Have ever tried refusing food? Or that one shot of tequila being passed around? How about that “one more dance”? Have you ever forgotten to say good bye to everyone individually at least twice before leaving? Cause it sounds like you’re me lol. Married 20 years to my wife though. It never changes." – JnyBlkLabel

"I didn’t eat at my husband's grandma's house once (in the Dominican Republic) cuz there was no ac, it was summer, and I had just broken a rib 5 days before our trip. I was in bad pain and sooooooo hot, I could not eat!!! But did it break abuelas heart??? Absolutely. It was tough." – Both_Dust_8383

When no means yes and you're supposed to keep asking

"I was born and raised in the Netherlands (I'm half Italian half Indonesian but did not grow up with those cultures at home except a little). My girlfriend is Persian.

In the Netherlands, or at least in my experience, when people say no to something, then they mean no. While apparently for persians it's seen as polite to decline at least the first offer, often also the second even if you actually really want.

So for example, If she would offer me a cookie and i'd say no, She would ask another 3 times before letting it go, which was cute but also annoying. Meanwhile when i offer her a cookie and she says no. I just quit asking and then she gets a little mad that i didn't ask her a couple of times more.

It's not like the biggest difference or anything but it's a cute, and in the beginning, a very confusing difference." – LokMatrona

"Haha, we have the same thing in Ireland - if you’re offered food, drink, etc, you’re expected to say no the first couple of times. My mother in law thought her English nieces and nephews were ‘a bit forward’ because if she’s offer them a cup of tea they’d say ‘Yes please, that would be lovely.’" – MichaSound

"My wife is Persian and I’m English. The craziest thing she told me is if you’re a guest in your host’s house and you compliment some object in their house, the rules of hospitality require them to offer it to you. So you may say, 'Wow I love that mirror!' and they will say 'Please, have it!' You will of course refuse, but they will vehemently insist that you take it. This back-and-forth can go on for some time (despite the ironic truth that you absolutely do not want to take it, and they absolutely do not want to give it to you)." – th1sishappening

Learning about one another's popular culture

"My partner is from California, I'm from Singapore. I think the biggest difference is popular culture --- everything from your childhood tv shows, the iconic music of your teens, even your education system, is going to be different. You cannot expect your partner to know what Mr. Rogers is/have watched XYZ cartoon. All assumptions have to be thrown out of the window.

I think it's a good thing tbh, you start from zero. It makes you completely aware of how vast the world around you is, and I keep learning new things everyday. Just yesterday I learned that in California, there's a mascot called Smokey Bear that taught kids about forest fires. In turn, I told her about Singa the Courtesy Lion, which is a mascot to teach people courtesy/good manners. We had an entire discussion about mascots and teaching populations, and it was so fascinating. This happens so much that sometimes we can't stop talking to each other lol" – kafetheresu

"Bit of that with my wife. She was born in China but moved to Canada from age 9 to 19, then back to China again. So there's some overlap for that middle period, but that early childhood stuff is very different. Was fun though when she met my brother's girlfriend from Ukraine and they bonded over having both watched the same old Soviet cartoons as kids." – Cinquedea19

"I’m from Texas and my wife is from Nigeria. We also have this dynamic!! It’s pretty beautiful to learn about a whole other culture/way of life. One challenge is our families are across the world from each other." – PositionLogical2342

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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Woman's whimsical 'Wheel of Fortune' guess is so bad it made her an instant legend

People prefer her guess to the actual answer.

@Rick_Life_Coach/X

Can you solve this "Wheel of Fortune" puzzle?

Watching a game show from the comfort of home is easy. Being on one is a totally different ball game. The lights, the cameras, the pressure. It's enough to make anyone's brain freeze up. And is there any game show that allows contestants to royally embarrass themselves on national TV quite like Wheel of Fortune? There’s always someone going viral for taking a big swing and missing on a phrase that seemed pretty apparent to the casual viewer. And when you take a big loss on a WOF word puzzle, there are a lot of folks shaking their heads at home. More than 8 million people watch the game show every night. Yikes.

One rather notorious of the wheel was Gishma Tabari from Encino, California, whose fantasy-inspired whiff of a common phrase back in 2023 earned her a lot of groans and some support from those who thought her imagination was inspiring. The 3-word puzzle read: “TH _ _ RITI _ S _ GR _ E,” and Tabari offered the answer, “The British Ogre.” The guess surprised host Pat Sajak, who responded, "Uh, no.” Tabari must have missed that there was a space between the R and the E in the puzzle, so ogre would have had to be spelled with 2 Rs.

She also probably wasn’t aware that England isn’t a place known for its ogres. The correct answer was: “The Critics Agree.”

The answer inspired a lot of activity on X, where people couldn’t believe someone could come up with such a fanciful answer to a puzzle with such a straightforward solution.







One person even created a lovely image of what could be the British Ogre.

Although…not everyone had a problem with the guess.

"OK, the puzzle was clearly THE CRITICS AGREE but to be honest I prefer THE BRITISH OGRE because the puzzles could use some more wacky originality sometimes.#WheelOfFortune"— Pasha Paterson (@zer0bandwidth) December 13, 2023

On the bright side, the incorrect guess is an opportunity for the world to learn that ogres aren’t a significant part of English folklore. Sure, there are characters in English myths and legends that have ogre-like qualities, such as Grendel from "Beowulf," the monstrous creature that terrorizes the mead hall of King Hrothgar. There’s also the Boggart, a mischievous spirit much like a hobgoblin and trolls, which appear in some English tales although they originate in Scandinavia.

If you’re looking for ogres in Europe, France is the best place to go.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

The word ogre is of French descent and comes from the name of the Etruscan god of the underworld, Orcus. Orcus is a large, ugly, bearded giant who enjoys consuming human flesh. Ogres are primarily known for eating children, which they believe will give them eternal life.

As for Wheel of Fortune, the show will undergo significant changes over the next few years. The show’s host, Pat Sajak, 76, stepped down from the show at the end of the 2024 season after hosting it for 41 years. In September 2024, radio host and “American Idol” emcee Ryan Seacrest took over the hosting spot.

Although, it was just announced that Sajak would be making a special guest appearance on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune, performing what he called "Final Spin."

And in case you're wondering how Tabari is doing: on her Instagram she wears her "Wheel of Fortune Flub Girl" title with pride, declaring she is "British Ogre for life."

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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15 unexpected signs someone is much, much smarter than you think

The smartest people are often funny and humble.

via Associated Press/Wikimedia Commons

Albert Einstein writing on a blackboard.

Can you quickly and easily tell how intelligent someone is? There are some obvious ways to determine if someone is highly intelligent, like when you see them work out a complex trigonometry problem on a blackboard or when they can easily explain the science behind mRNA vaccines or dark matter.

But there are also those we meet at social gatherings who immediately make us think they are very smart. Usually, it isn’t because they are making a long-winded speech about the fall of the Roman Empire or explaining quarks. We know they are intelligent because of the way they interact with people and ideas.

A Redditor named SomethingAbout2020 asked people on the AskReddit forum to share the “non-obvious signs” that people are intelligent. Many of their responses centered on highly intelligent people being open-minded, curious, and not wasting their time arguing with others.

Brilliant people are confident in what they know, consider other people’s opinions, and readily admit when they don’t know the answer.


What are 15 'non-obvious' signs that someone is really smart?

1. They know what they don't know

"They acknowledge areas where they lack knowledge."

"'Never pretend to know something when you don't' is something I always teach. It covers lying and ignorance."

2. They consider other people's ideas

"They’ll listen to the other's facts and points and take them into account when giving an objection."

"One of the best developers at my last job and manager of a project I was at is an extremely intelligent person. ... One thing I noticed is how he would take everyone's opinion into account. He would take my opinions into consideration even if I'm not a smarter person or know less about development."

3. They make you feel smart

"Talking to a dumb person will make you feel smart. Talking to a smart person will make you feel dumb. Talking to a very smart person will make you feel smart."

4. They see patterns

"Part of the reason smart people throughout history are well-known is because they discovered something new and figured out how to maximize its potential. Darwin was a guy who discovered a bunch of islands with slightly different animals. He then collected and analyzed that data to come up with the theory of evolution, which was largely correct. Einstein’s theory of relativity was based off of his observation that physics acted on everything equally. He figured out that “exceptions” were because of the way high-speed objects interact with the universe’s speed limit (the speed of light). He recognized these exceptions by gathering them and recognizing the pattern between them all, then created his theory of relativity based on that."


intelligence, painter, paint brush, mural artists, curiosity A painter making a mural. via Canva/Photos

5. They consider multiple intelligences

"They realize not everyone is smart the same way. Your 'stupid hick neighbor' might have dropped out of school in 8th grade, but he can drive your car once and tell you exactly what's wrong, then fix it. That a**hole in school that had no empathy for anyone and showed no emotion made that sci-fi sh*t you thought would never be real. Yeah, she's dingy and her worldview is tiny, but she's the best teacher you've ever met and inspires tons of kids to go on and do great things with themselves. There's no one-size-fits-all answer here, really."

People who are super bright are probably familiar with Howard Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences. The theory suggests that people have more than just one type of just one type of intelligence, like being good at mathematics. Gardener says there are several, including musical, spatial, linguistic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and kinesthetic intelligence. This theory allows people to appreciate different forms of intelligence that may not be of the academic variety.

6. They choose their battles

"When another person is not able to process something and, therefore, sticks with his opinion, after a few tries, the smart person just gives up. There is no use in trying to make someone understand something while they already have an uneducated opinion."



7. They speak to their audience

"They know how to explain concepts on just about any level, tailoring that level to their intended audience, and without coming across as condescending in any way."

"I heard a saying that went 'you have to be an expert to explain it simply.'"

8. They're confident in their intelligence

"Not constantly bragging about their intelligence. If they truly are smart, people can figure that out pretty quickly without them doing anything to show it."

"You generally only brag about things you're insecure about because you seek validation. If you are very comfortable with your intelligence, then you may not care if someone misinterprets you and makes you look dumb or something. You have nothing to prove. That's not just for intelligence but for anything."

9. They're funny

"I think the smart people are even more funny than stupid people because smart people understand the complexity behind humor and can make their jokes reflect that."

Scientific studies show that funny people, especially those with a dark sense of humor, are more intelligent than their not-so-funny peers. Researchers argue that it takes cognitive and emotional ability to make people laugh, and analysis shows that funny people have higher verbal and non-verbal intelligence.

laugh, humor, sense of humor, jokes, men in suits, moment of levity, A man laughing at his friend's joke.via Canva/Photos

10. They mind their own business

"This is a big one. They keep to themselves and deal with their own drama."

11. They aren't necessarily great students

"Believe it or not 'average' or 'above average' students are often smarter than those with straight A’s on the report cards. They do enough to pass well and get what they want but don’t let the academic system control them. Life isn’t all about booksmarts. This shows they are independent thinkers and don’t get wrapped up in designed systems. Not all, but many. Many kids who are forced to always be exceptional in school can end up the worst off and can develop deeper issues."

12. They are good listeners

"They actually listen to who they are talking to as opposed to waiting for their turn to talk."

13. Curiosity

"It really does seem to be one of the single greatest differentiators between average and smart."

A meta-analysis of over 50,000 students from around 200 separate studies found that students who are curious do better in their school work over those who are not. Why is curiosity so important when it comes to IQ? “Curiosity is basically a hunger for exploration. If you’re intellectually curious, you’ll go home, you’ll read the books," Dr Sophie von Stumm, the study’s first author, said. "If you’re perceptually curious, you might go traveling to foreign countries and try different foods.”

14. Comfortable in silence

"Being comfortable enough to allow a moment of complete silence while you think when the natural instinct of most is to immediately start replying tells me that you are, at the very least, mindful of what you want to say."

15. Unattached to their opinions

"Most of the smart people I know are not pushy with their opinions; by contrast, most of the opinionated people I know are flaming morons. I don't know if there's a correlation there, but my anecdotal experience has always been that the more eager someone is to state their opinion, the less that opinion is probably worth."

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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One simple word makes children 30% more likely to cooperate. It works on adults, too.

No, it's not 'please.'

Photo credit: Canva

Jonah Berger explains how appealing to someone's identity makes them more likely to agree to a request.

Human psychology really isn't that complicated, if you think about it. Everybody wants to see themselves in a positive light. That’s the key to understanding Jonah Berger’s simple tactic that makes people 30% more likely to do what you ask. Berger is a marketing professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania and the bestselling author of “Magic Words: What to Say to Get Your Way.”

Berger explained the technique using a Stanford University study involving preschoolers. The researchers messed up a classroom and made two similar requests to groups of 5-year-olds to help clean up.

One group was asked, "Can you help clean?" The other was asked, “Can you be a helper and clean up?" The kids who were asked if they wanted to be a “helper” were 30% more likely to want to clean the classroom. The children weren’t interested in cleaning but wanted to be known as “helpers.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger calls the reframing of the question as turning actions into identities.

"It comes down to the difference between actions and identities. We all want to see ourselves as smart and competent and intelligent in a variety of different things,” Berger told Big Think. “But rather than describing someone as hardworking, describing them as a hard worker will make that trait seem more persistent and more likely to last. Rather than asking people to lead more, tell them, 'Can you be a leader?' Rather than asking them to innovate, can you ask them to 'Be an innovator'? By turning actions into identities, you can make people a lot more likely to engage in those desired actions.”

Berger says that learning to reframe requests to appeal to people’s identities will make you more persuasive.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

“Framing actions as opportunities to claim desired identities will make people more likely to do them,” Berger tells CNBC Make It. “If voting becomes an opportunity to show myself and others that I am a voter, I’m more likely to do it.”

This technique doesn’t just work because people want to see themselves in a positive light. It also works for the opposite. People also want to avoid seeing themselves being portrayed negatively.

“Cheating is bad, but being a cheater is worse. Losing is bad, being a loser is worse,” Berger says.

The same tactic can also be used to persuade ourselves to change our self-concept. Saying you like to cook is one thing, but calling yourself a chef is an identity. “I’m a runner. I’m a straight-A student. We tell little kids, ‘You don’t just read, you’re a reader,’” Berger says. “You do these things because that’s the identity you hold.”

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Berger’s work shows how important it is to hone our communication skills. By simply changing one word, we can get people to comply with our requests more effectively. But, as Berger says, words are magic and we have to use them skillfully. “We think individual words don’t really matter that much. That’s a mistake,” says Berger. “You could have excellent ideas, but excellent ideas aren’t necessarily going to get people to listen to you.”

This article originally appeared last year. It has since been updated.

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Man shares the tell-tale texting style that immediately identified him as classic Gen X

"Grammar and punctuation will pierce our clever disguises."

Image via Canva/RgStudio

Gen Xer shares the dead giveaway texting habit that proved he was Gen X.

Every generation has different texting habits. For example, Boomers insist on using ellipses when they text, according to a Harvard linguist.

And Gen X has its own texting style, too. In the Reddit forum r/GenX, one man shared a funny interaction he had with one of his Millennial students that "gave away" his Gen X identity.

"Grammar is my 'tell.' Who knew?" he wrote, before sharing a text exchange he had with one of his students from the younger generation. The thread read:

texting, texts, texting style, gen x, gen xers Text Phone GIF by Life at Lower Giphy

Millennial: "Are you gen x?"

Gen X: "Some day, I'll stop asking questions I'm afraid to know the answers to, but today is not that day. Why? And yes, Gen X."

Millennial: "You text not like a millennial and I realized you use punctuation but no emojis and no ellipses or 'lols' in your communication."

gen x, gen x texting, texting styles, texting habits, gen x texting Gen Xer shares text convo with Millennial.Image via Reddit/Kestrel_Iolani

The lighthearted conversation tickled the Gen Xer. "NOTE: This is not a complaint about 'kids these days.' And I know full well that language changes over time. I'm an English major by training, a tech writer by day, and a 'fun' writer on nights and weekends," he explained. "All that said, I had this text exchange with one of my actors today and promptly crumbled into dust. Be fore-warned, my compatriots! Grammar and punctuation will pierce our clever disguises. LOL."

Many Gen Xers resonated with the text exchange. "I was late to the game with texting by several years, and to this day cannot compose nor send a text unless it's written the exact same way that I would write to anybody through any other media (that is to say, proper spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc.). I've caught a ton of shit for it since I don't use textspeak in any form. Not my problem," one wrote. "I’ve switched to one space after a period."

Other Gen Xers shared more about the use of "lol." "Lol fellow kids," one commented. Another added, "I would just like to point out that Gen X had a hand in inventing 'lol'. And emojis. You're welcome. lol." Another quipped, "We called them emoticons."

fellow kids, fellow kids gif, slang, gen x slang, cool gif steve buscemi youth GIF Giphy

Fellow Gen Xers also discussed their emoji use. "I use tons of emojis and ellipses, as well as punctuation. But I hate 'lol'. Dunno why, I just can't bring myself to use it," one Gen Xer commented. Another Gen Xer noted, "I thought Gen X was known for using ellipses, and it annoys younger people. I like them. But I like M dashes better. ... Just don't write like Thomas Chatterton..."

The conversation about Gen X texting habits also led to an aside on Gen X GIF use. "On this topic: would anyone care to comment on GIF usage? If anything, I am a heavy GIF user only because it allows me to convey a response in such a way that it potentially could end the conversation. I am Gen X because I’m really not interested in texting a lot," one explained. Another added, "My GenX friend group mostly communicates in Discord via GIFs and movie quotes. It's our own generational lexicon. Shaka, when the walls fell."

One Gen Xer concluded: "And we know you aren't a boomer because you DON'T WRITE IN ALL CAPS."

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Gen Xers spill hair care secrets on how they achieved perfectly feathered perms in the 80s

"The girls kept cans of Aqua Net in their lockers and every time the bell would ring they’d rush to re-apply."

Images via Reddit/DefinitionPast3694, ClickAmericana

Gen Xers share how they acheived their voluminous hair in the 1980s.

If there is one thing Gen X will go down in history for, it's their *amazing* hairstyles. From feathered perms to voluminous blowouts, hairstyles from the 1980s remains iconic to this day. And those styles may be making a comeback.

Over on Reddit, Gen Xers are sharing all of their hair care secrets from back in the day. From styling secrets to products, they are spilling it all after a member of a younger generation posed the question: "Hey Gen X! How did you guys get your hair to look like this back in the 80’s?"

The question was posed with a few follow-ups for Gen Xers. "I really want to get my hair styled and cut like this but I don’t know how I can. I’m guessing you guys got a feathered haircut and a perm and brushed it out and teased it? Do tell!"

@jenxwrites

80s Hair. Aqua Net made a lot of money back in the day. #80s #80shair #genx #genxkid #80sstyle #1980s

Their biggest secret? Aqua Net hairspray. "Aqua Net White," one commented. Another added, "Aquanet purple may she rest in peace. So had my hair feathered never permed. I would take my bangs and curl them up reg curling iron and spray the heck out of it while cooking. Release and brush. When it looks perfect more hairspray to keep it from moving even in a hurricane."

Another Gen Xer shared their memory of Aqua Net. "The girls kept cans of Aqua Net in their lockers and every time the bell would ring they’d rush to re-apply, the halls of my middle school smelled like a beauty parlor," they wrote.

Another Gen Xer shared that her go-to was Finesse. "God I remember those days. I got in and out of the locker room as fast as possible because I was always choking to death on fumes. I was lucky, I had naturally curly hair with a lot of volume. I used Finesse conditioner and brushed my hair with my head upside down until it fluffed out too much, then would brush it back with my head rightside up to shape it. I hated hairspray because it made my hair crunchy and gross to touch. My boyfriend once remarked on it, 'Hey, I love your hair b/c I can touch it and not break my fingers!' LOL."

Another agreed, commenting, "Sometimes you need a little Finesse, sometimes you need a LOT!!" A fellow Gen Xer shared, "I LOVED Finesse! It smelled SO good."

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Another popular product brand was Paul Mitchell. "Rich town girls had Paul Mitchell," one Gen Xer commented. "I remember in middle school that we all wanted Paul Mitchell because the cool girls used that."

Other Gen Xers preferred Rave. "Rave in the pump bottle kept mine extra-crispy," one Gen Xer wrote. Another quipped, "Yes, that was my brand of choice in 1980 something. You spray it underneath and kinda scrunch it up with your hands. My hair is wavy so it wasn't too hard for me. Mousse products also helped thicken and expand it. The Rave shellacked it and it stayed as high as Long Island. These pics could easily have been my friends, lol. Pair with crazy prints and acid wash jeans and some giant dangle earrings!"

1980s, 80s hair, 80s hairstyles, big hair, perm 80S Hair Flip GIF Giphy

Besides products, Gen Xers revealed the secrets to their styling, which highlighted the use of perms. "Step 1- perm. Step 2- mousse, lots of it. Don't be shy. Step 3- blow dry, scrunching curls. Step 4- curling iron, set on HELL, for the top. Step 5- hair combs to pull the sides back. Step 6- hair spray the side hair that's pulled back, the styleable type spray. Step 7- use pick to fluff top, and sides. Step 8- rat sides with pick. Step 9- apply bullet proof hair spray to set in concrete," one wrote.

Another spilled, "A curling iron on the top, a hair pick (not a brush) to fluff it out, and a lot of hairspray at all stages. If you get a perm, don't do the top, depending on your hair texture. The top needs to be shorter, and the curls go horizontally (not down - straight across the top of your head), everything goes backwards except for your bangs, which get curled under. Spray spray spray, then use the pick to fluff. Then more spraying. Hell, we used to watch smoke rise from our heads as we sprayed our hair while the curling iron was still in it. Don't recommend. For extra authenticity, do all of this while smoking a Marlboro light. Don't recommend that, either, if only for the fire hazard. I have an aversion to hair tools now to the point where I rarely even blow dry my hair anymore."

80s, 1980s hair, hairspray, 80s hairspray, 1980s hairspray 1980s tv GIF by absurdnoise Giphy

The blowout technique was also key. "Flip your head upside down and max heat blow dry while scrunching curls with mousse. More volume that way!" one shared.

One Gen Xer summarized the glory of 80s hair perfectly: "The higher the hair, the closer to God."

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