Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.
“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.
“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.
Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.
Understanding the journey
Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.
Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.
A warm welcome
Dee and Omary's son, Osman
Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.
“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”
Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.
“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”
Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.
“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”
More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.
“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”
Extending the welcome
Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.
Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.
“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.
Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.
“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.
“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”
Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.
This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.
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Billie Eilish says Instagram comments were ruining her life. So she quit reading them. Smart.
Billie Eilish has gone from being a pop star to a superstar over the course of about a year. Her meteoric rise to fame has forced her to reevaluate how she deals with her fans online.
She used to be happy to read the comments on her Instagram feed, but the tone of the posts has become exceedingly negative. So she's decided to stop reading them altogether.
According to psychologists, that's a very good idea.
Eilish admitted she quit reading the comments during an interview with Louise Minchin from the BBC where she was joined by her brother, writer and producer, Finneas.
"Do you still read everything that's on Instagram?" Minchin asked.
"No, no. I stopped like two days ago," Billie responded. "Literally two days ago. I've stopped reading comments fully. Because it was ruining my life. It's weird. The cooler the things you get to do are, the more people hate you. It's crazy."
"How do you make it better?" the interviewer asked.
"The internet is a bunch of trolls. And the problem is that a lot of it is really funny," Billie said.
"Everyone is much braver behind a cell phone screen than they would be if they walked down the street," Finneas added.
"It's way worse than it's ever been right now," Billie admitted.
"It's insane that I even have been reading comments up until this point. I should've stopped long ago, it's just the problem is I've always wanted to stay in touch with the fans and keep talking to them, and people have ruined that for me, and for them. That sucks," she added.
However, the negativity Billie has faced online hasn't affected how she treats her fans in public.
"If I see fans anywhere, I just want to talk to them and be around them, because they're people. They're me! They're like other me's," the "Bad Guy" singer said. "They're like friends of mine, but the internet is ruining my life, so I turned it off."
Reading the comments on social media shouldn't be a huge problem for those of us who post things that are only seen by people we know. But for anyone in the public spotlight, being bombarded by negative comments day in and day out can be damaging.
That's because of a psychological trait called negativity bias.
According to Psycom's Margaret Jaworski, "We're more likely to register an insult or negative event than we are to take in a compliment or recall details of a happy event. The negativity bias can even cause you to dwell on something negative even if something positive is equally or more present."
Research suggests that it takes three positive comments to cancel out the effects of one negative remark.
Billie Eilish is smart to protect her own sanity by staying out of the comment section and not allowing it to affect her art or life. It's fine for the public to have access to her art but there's no reason she should be handing over her sanity as well.