If you don't understand why using her name — Caitlyn Jenner — matters, this should help.
It's just not that hard to do the decent thing.
As you surely know by now, Caitlyn Jenner introduced herself on the cover of Vanity Fair.
And wow, does she look ah-ma-zing!
Just in case your Internet was down, here's a quick recap: The former Olympian, who then went by Bruce Jenner, came out as a transgender woman at the end of April in an ABC special with Diane Sawyer. At the time, Jenner said the preferred pronoun was still "he" and was still using the name Bruce.
Fast forward to June 1, 2015, when Vanity Fair released the cover of its July issue with a stunning photo of Jenner. The caption reads, "Call me Caitlyn."
So, it's pretty clear here that Jenner's name is Caitlyn.
There's even a hashtag that's trending on social media.
If you read the Vanity Fair post or pretty much anything anyone has written about the story, you'll know Caitlyn is her name. In addition, you'll know that Jenner's preferred gender pronoun is now "she."
And if you didn't know, now you do! Boom! Easy.
So simple! So straightforward!
Yet, there are those people who insist on being unkind.
"Sorry... still calling you Bruce," a former child star tweeted in response to the news. It's not just semi-used-to-be-famous people who are making immature and unkind remarks, though. Go to any Facebook comment thread about Caitlyn's Vanity Fair cover and you'll see it happening several times.
Why?
It's not funny — it's mean. It's not about political correctness — it's about respecting someone's identity.
What's the point of being ugly and hurtful?
In a new video, vlogger Nicola Foti (aka soundlyawake) says the things that need saying about intentionally misgendering someone.
Caitlyn's transition might not make a lot of sense to people who don't fully understand gender identity yet. That's OK. It can take time to fully understand something new.
Here's a good rule of thumb:
And listen, nobody's perfect. This is a learning process for so many people. That's what makes Caitlyn Jenner's openness pretty cool. We all have an opportunity to gain new knowledge here.
So if you make a mistake, keep Foti's advice in mind:
"Also, if you mess up — but your intentions are there — if you accidentally call Caitlyn 'Bruce' and someone calls you out on it, don't be defensive or dismissive. But if your intentions are true, great. That's perfect.
But impact is still more important than intent, so if someone is upset that you made a mistake, just apologize for your mistake. Just say, 'I'm sorry. I messed up. I'm still learning. Thank you for letting me know.'
WHOA! SO EASY!"
I highly recommend this awesome commentary on why the "I'm still calling you Bruce" line is pretty much the worst. It's funny and it's true.
Watch the video here:
At the end of the day, there is so much good that will come from this.
While no one person represents an entire group of people, my hope is that the transgender community will have more visibility because of Caitlyn's openness and that we can continue to move toward a place of understanding and acceptance.
I'd say that with a response like this, it's happening.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."