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Body Image

Identity

Victoria's Secret responds to viral song that's critical of how it caters to body stereotypes

One song could literally change how Victoria's Secret does business.

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Victoria's Secret responds to viral song.

In the summer of 2022, you probably heard the song "Victoria's Secret" by Jax, who wrote the song for a young teen girl she babysits after the girl tried on bathing suits at the famous clothing store chain.

Girls and women have been perusing the racks of Victoria's Secret for decades. The yearly fashion show that depicted tall, thin models donning enormous angel wings was something to look forward to for millions of people. But for others, it was a reminder that their body type didn't fit the mold of what was deemed "beautiful" by one company's standards. That insecurity-inducing impact in advertising is exactly what the song is about and why it resonated with so many people online.

@jaxwritessongs
I wrote a song for The Kid I Babysit. It’s called Victoria’s Secret 🤫 ❤️ 👙 @TheLascherFamily #victoriassecret #fyp #bodypositivity #originalmusic

The teen's experience was less than ideal, as she was brought to tears over mean comments about her body from other girls. In response, Jax quickly cranked out a song about what she considers the potential self-esteem harm caused by the lingerie giant and uploaded it to TikTok where it went crazy viral with more than 39 million views. It has become such a cultural phenomenon, that it even crossed over from TikTok to the Billboard charts. So, it's no surprise that the song caught the attention of Victoria's Secret PINK CEO Amy Hauk.

Recreation of Victoria's Secret's letter

Canva

The virility of the catchy summer bop is what catapulted the song to the attention of Hauk, who then reached out to Jax about finding a way to be more inclusive. In response, Jax turned to her 11 million followers to encourage them to put their suggestions in her comments.

@jaxwritessongs
My response to Victoria’s Secret. The floor is yours…. #victoriassecret #inclusivity #speakyourmind

Jax said in the video, "I don't feel comfortable speaking on behalf of an entire generation in a manipulative, non-inclusive marketing culture." The songwriter went on to say, "Since Victoria's Secret is paying attention to my account, I'm asking anyone who feels like they never had a voice, or ever had a say in the matter to comment on this video." She tells her followers to let the company know what they "need to feel safe and represented, and comfortable and beautiful in today's society."

The women did not disappoint. They came in, flooding Jax's comments section with suggestions on what they'd like to see. Shoelover99 commented, "We want REAL WOMEN! scars, stretch marks, tattoos, we want ALL WOMEN to feel beautiful in the product & with size inclusive."

TikTok user Heysquirrelfriend said, "How about the "older" ladies in the world? We like to feel loved and accepted too! Because our age is over 50 doesn't mean we don't feel young inside."

The overall comments section was filled with women asking for inclusivity in sizes. I'm not sure if was Jax's song, the comments section or something that has been in the works, but a press release soon went out announcing more inclusive bra sizes by partnering with Elomi, an inclusive lingerie company. It includes band sizes from 34 to 46 and cups from DD to O.

With this development, it certainly seems as if the brand is paying attention to the desires of the people wearing its products. Women everywhere are hoping the new blip of inclusivity from the brand isn't short-lived.

In the Fall of 2024, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show returned with a new, inclusive line-up of models in an attempt to make good on their promise of being inclusive by employing models of all sizes and genders. Teen Vogue's Aiyana Ishmael wrote an op-ed that challenged how inclusive Victoria Secret really has become, citing herself and fans who felt the brand didn't do the whole inclusivity thing as well or as substantially as they could have. It seems, though, Victoria Secret is committed to trying.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Body Image

People who are 'good at flirting' are sharing the clues that tell if someone likes you

Here are 15 great tips.

via Pexels

Are they flirting with me or just being nice?

Most of the time it’s tough to know if someone is flirting with you because they have to be subtle. They can’t be too obvious because if the feeling isn’t mutual it can be pretty embarrassing. It’s also tough to detect if someone is flirting because most of the time it’s someone you don’t know very well. Do they like me or are they normally friendly?

It hurts to imagine the number of times we’ve all missed signals that someone was interested in us and a potentially wonderful romance never happened. However, studies show that it happens more often than not.

A study on heterosexuals published in Psychology Today found that women were only 18% accurate in recognizing men’s flirting, while 36% of men were accurate about women's flirting. However, we’re really good at knowing when people aren’t flirting with us.

In the same study, women were 83% accurate in seeing friendliness as just friendliness, and men performed about the same at 84% accuracy.

Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, says there are five main styles of flirting: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful.

Physical flirting involves “communicating sexual interest” to a potential partner. Traditional flirting is a tactic primarily used by introverts, where men tend to take the lead and women assume a passive role. Polite flirting involves the use of “proper manners” and is a cautious way of showing you like someone.

Sincere flirting involves telling the person you’re interested, and playful flirts like joking around but their efforts rarely turn into substantial relationships.

A Reddit user, who has since deleted their profile, asked a great question on the AskReddit subforum that should be a big help to those who have a hard time spotting flirtation. They asked, "People who are good at flirting, what are some social cues us oblivious people should watch out for?"

A large number of people who responded to the thread gave practical advice on the behaviors that are a giveaway that someone is flirting. The most popular responses are eye contact and laughing at your jokes, even if they aren’t funny.

Here are 15 of our favorite social cues that show someone is interested.

1. The dance of plausible deniability.

"Everyone is giving good advice, but flirting didn't click for me until i heard it described not as a set of behaviors to look out for, but as an escalation of suggestive behaviors couched in plausible deniability.

"Put practically, if someone is doing something to engage you that feels extra (lots of touching, looking at you in a way that feels a bit to long, or doing a lot of poking fun and complimenting you), then that might be flirting or it might not. That's the whole point. Plausible deniability. They can safely disengage at any time.

"If you want to know if someone's flirting, you need to test it. You do that by escalating things, but just a bit, so that now you have plausible deniability (touch them back in a comfortable way, maintain eye contact, or joke-compliment them back). If they escalate back and continue to do so as you escalate in turn, that is flirting. Eventually one of you will break cover and do something with clear intent (a kiss, an approach + ask for a number, or straight up telling them what you think of them and that you're interested). Otherwise, if you escalate and they don't change their behavior or they back off, then they were probably just being friendly and you should take the hint and do the same.

"Dunno if that's something obvious to people, but it was definitely not for me, and college parties would have been way less fun had i not known. Hopefully this can help someone else too :)" – three_furballs

2. Give 'em a chance to be alone.

"If you're in a group of friends (new or old), find a natural opportunity to hang back. Someone who's interested in you will notice and take the opportunity to talk to you in private. Now this isn't full [fool] proof but it'll at least give you the opportunity to feel for any chemistry between you." – Kagamid

3. Conversation should be two-sided.

"Be wary of a one-sided conversation. If your responses are met with mostly "yeps" and "uh huh" and nothing without meat, its probably not going well." – ViciousKnids

4. Ignoring their friend.

"If they look directly at you while talking to their friend it's a good sign." – yassis_bru

5. The reaction shot.

"I read once that if someone looks at you after someone (doesn't have to be you) said something funny and everyone is laughing, they like you. From personal experience, it's true." – luv_sicK

6. Lots of eye contact.

"They make a lot of eye contact. They are interested in what you have to say and ask you lots of questions. They laugh at your jokes, even the lame ones. They initiate physical contact. They try to find space where you can talk more privately (this does not always mean sex but it often means they wish for more quality time with you)." – TheSurfingRaichu

7. Trust then test.

"In my experience, almost everyone can get a sense that someone is into them, but most people second guess themselves until they convince themselves it's nothing. I say trust that sense. It's based off all of these factors that we pick up consciously and subconsciously, and almost always it's not a coincidence.

"When you think someone likes you, you can test that theory in a few ways. A subtle but effective example is inviting them to something you know they can't or don't want to attend. If they express interest in rescheduling or finding some other way to spend time with you, they like you. Otherwise they'll just say no, sorry I can't make it ... Of course, you could also just ask. In my experience anyone worth getting intimate with is mature enough to deal with that question." – MildlyWyld

8. Mirroring.

"Does their body turn toward you or away from you when you talk? Do they mirror your body language?" – Perfect_Draw516

9. They touch you.

"Physical contact. Granted, not everyone flirts the same way but a good sign is if they touch your arm (or the like) or you find them smiling the whole time that you’re talking to them." – Cosmic_Marman

10. Special eye contact.

"When you're in a public space, the direct eye contact (for a beat or two too long) and the look away. One of my go-to moves that always yielded results." – LuLu42

11. Bad jokes.

"Seriously tell a bad joke - look for laughter and smiles that should not be there but are. Then it’s you they are into, definitely not what you said." – YukonBrawler

12. Facial gestures.

"According to Sherlock: licking lips, eyes cast down towards the other persons lips, quirky smile of the lips, dilated eyes. And if the person has long hair, tucking it behind their ear or other fidgety behavior." – fandomfangirl1

13. Mimicking body language.

"In the case of someone who likes you, while interacting, watch for repetitious patterns and mimic their body language. Eventually, if you cross your arms and the person whose attention you are seeking does the same, for example, you can rely on that being a good sign." – flungkle

14. Little adjustment.

"I've noticed that women will do a little adjustment to you, like brushing off a little piece of lint off your lapel or moving a stray hair off your face while talking to you. At least they did back in my rogue days." – robfrankel1

15. Take your shot.

"If you're at a bar and a woman makes eye contact for more than a second without looking away, shoot your shot." – sle7in360

There you have it! If you're picking up any of these signs, it might mean you can go ahead and shoot your shot (respectfully!). Good luck out there!

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Identity

57-year-old former model Paulina Porizkova had the perfect response to ageist comment online

"We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better."

Photo by Malin K. on Unsplash

Paulina Porizkova took on a commenter who said she was in "pain" being "old and ugly."

Aging is a weird thing. From one perspective, it's something we should be grateful for. Few people would wish for the kind of short, uneventful life that would remove aging from the equation completely. The longer we live, the more we grow and learn and experience life, and "aging" is simply the mathematical sum of those experiences. All good, right?

On the other hand, American society does everything in its power to stop and even reverse aging. Especially when it comes to women. According to Statista, the global anti-aging beauty market is estimated to be worth $58.8 billion. People will try all manner of creams, serums, masks, acids, lights, technologies, and surgeries to try to prevent wrinkles, lines, sagginess, spots and other signs that our bodies are changing with time.

Most of us live our daily lives somewhere in the middle of these two realities, wanting to embrace our aging selves but also hoping to stave off some of the more obvious signs that we're getting older. It's natural to resist it in some ways. The older we get, the closer we're moving to the end of our lives, which we don't want to hasten for plenty of reasons: love for family, friends, relationships, adventures, food, etc. Plus, that reality can cause us some anxiety.

While Fear of Getting Old (FOGO) is real, it can be helpful to see people gracefully embracing their age. Case in point: former supermodel Paulina Porizkova who confidently shared photos of her 57-year-old self on social media 2022.

Porizkova shared a photo of herself in a bikini and a screenshot of a comment made by a person who felt the need to critique her aging body. And phew, was it something. The commenter wrote:

"You must be in so much pain to keep posting bikini pictures at your age. I've always thought that getting old and ugly is hardest on the pretty people. The fall from grace is so much farther when you were beautiful. Ugly people were always ugly so getting old and ugly isn't a change. In summary, I feel your pain. I pray you can come to terms with your mortality. We all get old and ugly…you just had to fall from a greater height than the rest of us. Tears Times Infinity!"

So many things to unpack here. First of all, the comment is weird. Second of all, it's rude. Third of all, it's clearly ageist, which, according to the American Psychological Association (APA) is "one of the last socially acceptable prejudices." Yikes.

Porizkova shared her thoughts on the comment on Instagram.

A thoughtful reader comment on IG need an equally thoughtful response.\nThank you for feeling my pain, rickaroo777. As you can see, I\u2019m suffering indeed.pic.twitter.com/mWijP55iAS
— Paulina Porizkova (@Paulina Porizkova) 1651241361

"Here’s a good follower comment- echoing a few others," Porizkova wrote. "A woman of 57 is 'too old' to pose in a bikini - no matter what she looks like. Because 'Old' is 'Ugly.' I get comments like these every time I post a photo of my body. This is the ageist shaming that sets my teeth on edge. Older men are distinguished, older women are ugly."

"People who believe prettiness equals beauty do not understand beauty," she continued. "Pretty is easy on the eyes, partly because it’s a little bland, inoffensive. It’s easy to take in and easy to forget. Not so beauty. Beauty can be sharp. It can wound you and leave a scar. To perceive beauty you have to be able to SEE."

"This is why I believe we get more beautiful with age," she added. "We have earned our beauty, we understand what it is, and we can see it so much better. There is no such thing as ugly and old. Only shortsighted and ignorant."

On X (formerly Twitter), Porizkova was a bit more sarcastic, writing, "Thank you for feeling my pain, rickaroo777. As you can see, I’m suffering indeed."

That tongue-in-cheek response prompted others to share their aging selves in photos, sharing how their "old and ugly" phase of life is going. The thread turned into a veritable celebration of middle-to-late age, with posts about how much more comfortable people feel in their bodies as they get older and the freedom that comes along with not caring what other people think.

You suffer beautifully

You suffer beautifully
— Paulina Porizkova (@Paulina Porizkova) 1651291418

There are two big ironies with the original trolling comment. Most obviously, Porizkova obviously looks freaking amazing in a bikini, so the whole "ugly" and "fall from grace" line of thought is objectively off base. The second is that if you look through Porizkova's Instagram feed, she doesn't pose in bikinis very often at all. It's not like she's plastering her bikini selfies all over social media trying to feel better about herself, as the commenter implies. She just…sometimes wears a bikini. Whoop dee doo.

People don't have to wear bikinis if they don't want to. But to tell strangers what they can wear crosses a line. All bodies are bikini bodies, and if the person in the body wants their body to be in a bikini, more power to them.

Wow! You\u2019re suffering for sure!
— Paulina Porizkova (@Paulina Porizkova) 1651287653

The "suffering" and "pain" in the posts were so funny to see.

Ah, so painful. also- frickin
— Paulina Porizkova (@Paulina Porizkova) 1651288265

I'm 49 and I haven't yet put on a bikini. Steph, thanks for showing me it's not too late! Tho, somehow I feel like I won't fill it as well as you & Paulina. But it's all about attitude, right? So let's the 3 of us hit the beach! (I'll stay in the shade of an umbrella, tho.)
— Spark The Genius (@Spark The Genius) 1651262083

The thread brought inspiration to those who may fall prey to the idea that people shouldn't wear certain things after a certain age or that only people with certain body sizes or shapes should wear certain things.

The hashtag #oldandugly started trending as people responded to Porizkova's call for a celebration of aging beautifully.

"Todays thread has been my absolute favorite of all time," Porizkova wrote on Twitter. "Thank you all you 'old and ugly' women (and a few men) showing the world how much we 'suffer' at in our old age. You’re all breathtaking!"

The love continues! 57 and proud! Keep posting your wonderful beautiful selves and tag #oldandugly so we can keep sharing the pic.twitter.com/Veg72kQOqt
— Paulina Porizkova (@Paulina Porizkova) 1651454555

May we all age beautifully and gracefully in whatever way those words are meaningful to us, and show those who think that aging means "suffering" and "pain" due to being "old and ugly" that they have no idea what they're talking about.

(And here's an extra shout-out to Porizkova for using her beauty and her age to make an important point—not only about celebrating getting older, but also about how propaganda works. Brava.)

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This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Body Image

Stories of what it's like growing up as a nudist are surprisingly normal childhood experiences

"It's not for the clothes minded"

Photo credit: Canva

People who grew up as nudists have surprisingly normal childhood

Nudity is something that people are often taught to hide in American culture. There are specific places and time where it's acceptable for people to expose their nude bodies like in the shower, doctor's office or gym locker room. There generally aren't many exceptions made unless you're under the age of two and recently learned how to remove unwanted clothing.

But even toddlers are quickly chased down and redressed while they wriggle about trying to escape again. Toddlers aren't the only ones that have a desire to be free from restrictive clothing, some adults prefer to be naked as much as possible. They not only desire to be as naked as a mole rat, they want to live a lifestyle where being nude is the norm.

People that commit to being nudists also get married, raise children and have a network of friends who are also nude. The nudist lifestyle has always been a point of curiosity for many people though most wouldn't dare to ask about it. But curiosity won when someone decided to ask what it was like to grow up as a nudist.

creeping season 7 GIFGiphy

One of the best ways to learn about another culture or lifestyle is to be curious enough to ask questions to the members from that particular group. It can open up an informative dialogue making things feel a lot less strange and scary, which is exactly what happened when someone dared to ask what it was like growing up nudist. Several people who did grow up in a nudist family share their experiences while others who came into nudism later in life give their take.

"I grew up with nudist parents. They weren't very into the lifestyle but we did go to nude beaches a few times and were generally naked inside the home. I found it comfortable, clothes are a bit of a pain," someone writes in part before continuing. "It definitely desexualized nakedness and helped me appreciate that humans come in all shapes and sizes. When people find out, they often act very shocked but I had a positive experience. Even being a teenage girl in those spaces felt frankly much safer than regular beaches."

naked girl GIFGiphy

Another person shares about their childhood experience, saying in part, "I'm from the Netherlands. I grew up with 'naturist' parents in the seventies/eighties. There was a slight difference between nudists and naturists, but I can't remember what it was. We weren't naked all the time, but it was fine if you were. We went swimming naked every Sunday afternoon in the city public pool. I remember it felt totally normal for me to be naked in public, and seeing all these different body shapes and quirks.

I think more people are being shy about their naked body than when I was a kid. I'm still comfortable being naked around other naked (or even clothed) strangers, even though my body changed over the years (on the heavy side), and it allows me to not worry about the way I look. I reckon it's quite a task to keep up with what people think you should look like. I feel being nudist/naturist is good for being kind to yourself and the way you look."

Get Dwayne Johnson GIFGiphy

Nudism and its affects are not yet thoroughly studied but in a small study done in the UK they showed that people who spent time naked with others felt more body positivity at the end of the experiment. So one could stand to reason that children exposed to all different body types from a young age would also grow to have a high level of body positivity.

But what about when those children are teenagers? Are they still naked around adults who are also unclothed? One person who's father was a nudist has an answer to those questions and it may be surprising to hear for some people, sharing, "Even the kids were naked. While a 3 year old isn't something surprising, a 10 or 15 year old sure as sh*t was. Made me feel a bit uncomfortable, but that was 100% on me. They were all just running around having fun and nobody cared."

Baby Dancing GIFGiphy

The experiences shared by adults who were children of nudists all seem pretty mundane. There's no comments sharing anything outside of a normal childhood with the exception of everyone being naked. Clothing was always an option for guests and even children of nudist who wanted to wear them. One person shares that her only source of shame came from people outside of the community.

"My parents weren’t into it in a big way, by any stretch. But we went to nude beaches as a family when we were younger maybe a handful of times? I think mainly in France and perhaps once in Spain. It’s certainly normalized it to me to the extent I think it’s a fine thing to do. I remember telling other people casually though and them being quite shocked. Some even thinking it was ‘abusive’ of my parents to have done that," the commenter reveals in part.

naked bevers GIF by Broad CityGiphy

Naturism may not be for everyone but it doesn't have to be a taboo subject whispered in hushed tones. From the sounds of it nothing nefarious or inappropriate is happening at these locations, just mundane daily living activities. Swimming, cookouts, watching TV and hanging out with friends. If everyone was clothed no one would think twice, so maybe knowing what actually happens at nudist resorts will help people release the stigma.

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Identity

5 years' worth of photos show how testosterone affected one person's life.

A journey as a trans person in photographs.

Photo from YouTube video.

Photo of Skylar.

Even though he was born "Katherine Elizabeth," Skylar lived like a regular little boy for most of his childhood.

He was happy.

This is Skylar.

A photo collection of a young Skylar.

Photo from YouTube video.

Little Skylar.

Photo from YouTube video.

But when puberty hit, he started feeling intense pressure to be "normal" and fit in. So he tried to present as more traditionally "feminine."

Puberty happens.

Photo from YouTube video.

But he couldn't shake the feeling that he was denying a huge part of himself. Late in high school, he started taking testosterone.

Eating and feeling more comfortable.

Photo from YouTube video.

Skylar started feeling more comfortable immediately. And before he knew it, he was at his "dream school," having the time of his life. And taking lots and lots of pictures of himself.

A person and their dog.

Photo from YouTube video.

Access to medical care played a big part in Skylar becoming the person he is today, but that wasn't all.

Check out his story and walk five years in his shoes. It's definitely a perspective we don't see often enough:

This article originally appeared on 08.30.14

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Identity

An open letter to men who will have sex with me but won't date me

"It's one thing if you're not into fat women — everyone has their preferences — but if you want to have sex with us without being seen in public with us, that's emotionally abusive."

Many years before I got together with my boyfriend, I had a sex thing with this guy that I thought was relationship material.

He not only had an amazing body but a great personality as well. I was honest when I met him that I was looking for something more than just sex, and he led me to believe that was what he wanted, too.

Between mind-blowing sex sessions, we ordered in, played video games, and watched movies — couple things but without the label. But when I tried to get him to go to a show or out to dinner with me, he refused. My frustration grew as the months went on, and one day I confronted him.

"Why don't we ever go anywhere?"

"We have everything we need here," he answered while simultaneously distracting me by caressing my shoulder blades.

"We actually don't," I said. "I'm hungry, let's check out that new Indian place around the corner."

"No! We might run into one of my buddies," he said, moving his body further away from me. The underlining meaning was clear — he couldn't take the chance that someone he knew would see him with me.

He needed to keep our relationship on the DL so that no one would ever suspect that he enjoyed spending time with me — a fat woman.

He was super fit, so obviously that's the kind of woman he wanted to be associated with, the kind he could be seen with at the Indian place.

When I realized he was ashamed of being seen with me, I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach — a place where much of my pain already resided.

To him, I was fuckable but not dateable. He dumped me soon after that conversation.

He did me a favor by not continuing to lead me on. Otherwise, I might still be trying to prove to him that I was worth any shit he might have gotten from other people. If I was still his secret shame, I might not have met my next boyfriend, so thanks, athletic asshole.

I had hoped that, in this age of body positivity, men would no longer need to hide their desires when it comes to fat women.

But I was wrong.

It's just a sad fact: Many men who are sexually attracted to fat women are ashamed of it.

They're OK with banging a fat girl, but they don't want to hang out with her — someone might judge them for it.

It's one thing if you're not into fat women — everyone has their preferences, and not every body type appeals to everyone. But if you find larger women hot and you want to have sex with them without being associated in public with them, that's emotionally abusive.

Everyone should have the freedom to express their desires openly (as long as there's consent from both parties). If you modify your behavior and wants to what you think will protect you from criticism and/or ridicule, then you need help because that kind of self-loathing will only grow until it has destroyed you.

Don't act like we're in a relationship if all you really want is to experience what sex with a fat woman is like.

I'll tell you what it's like: It's as amazing and fun as having sex with anyone who's into having sex with you. We don't have magic vaginas, and our breasts don't do any special tricks — well besides the usual, like feed or comfort people.

Fat women are just as hot and sexually gifted as women of other shapes, sizes, and abilities. Being fat doesn't mean we're so hungry for attention that we'll put our own needs aside and do whatever we can to rock your world.

If you're with someone who doesn't make you feel beautiful or who isn't proud to have you on their arm, you need to dump their ass.

Being alone is far better than compromising on what you deserve or being made to feel as if you're someone's big dirty secret.

You're not only dateable, you're lovable and worthy of being treated with respect and love.

I regret not standing up for myself when I discovered the athletic guy was only using me for sex. But at least I learned, as we all should learn, that I'm responsible for being my biggest advocate and to never accepting anything less than what I need.

This article was written by Christine Schoenwald and originally appeared on 06.29.18

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Identity

50 people shared the one thing they'd change about their bodies. The kids' answers rocked.

The children heard the question TOTALLY differently than the adults.

Photo credit: Canva

When do we start learning to hate our bodies?

Body image is a strange thing. Babies aren't born with any opinions about their bodies one way or another, but as we age, we start forming judgments. We might be teased about one or more of our features or we might just absorb messages about beauty standards from the world we live in, but whatever causes them, a huge number people end up dissatisfied with parts of our body by the time we're adults.

But it doesn't have to be that way.

"If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?"

In a video from Jubilee, 50 people were asked, "If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?" and the difference between how the adults answered and the kids answered is striking—and telling. The adults listed off the specific features they didn't like and wanted to change—a smaller forehead, smaller ears, bigger eyes, a less puffy face, etc. The kinds of answers most of us would mostly likely give.

But the kids? They heard the question totally differently and answered it in the best way possible.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course you would choose to have a mermaid tail or legs like a cheetah if you could change one thing about your body! Of course you'd want wings so you could fly and a shark mouth so you could eat all the things. Teleportation? Put it in me! Extra pointy ears? Heck yes, little elfling.

Or even just…nothing. "I wouldn't change anything. I like my body." That might just be the most revolutionary statement of the 21st century.

Kids aren't immune to being dissatisfied with their bodies, of course. Studies show that body image concerns can begin as early as age 3 and tend to increase year after year, peaking in adolescence. Keeping a child from slipping down the slope of body negativity is something for all parents to watch for. Thankfully, there are some things we can do to help protect kids' acceptance and celebration of their bodies just as they are.

How to develop and maintain a healthy body image

One way is to be careful about how we talk about bodies in general, including our own.

"What we say about our own bodies and other people’s bodies carries significant weight, especially in the presence of our children," pediatrician Mona Amin, M.D., writes on Instagram. "Our words shape their perceptions of self-worth and body image. When we talk about how we don’t want to get in a swimsuit because we haven’t 'lost the baby weight yet' or congratulate someone on looking skinny, we teach our children that there is a 'right' way to look. This subtly, and sometimes not so subtly, can make children start to scrutinize how they look, and can trigger insecurity and low self-esteem."

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Another is to speak positively about the things our bodies—all bodies—can do rather than just how they look. Dr. Amin writes that children are borth with a natural sense of acceptance, but a keen observers they will often start to internalize the beliefs and attitudes of the adults in their lives. We can help them develop and maintain a healthy relationship with body image by promoting body neutrality and celebrating diversity in the way people look.

What does that look like in practice? Dr. Amin gives five specific examples:

1. Speaking positively about ourselves and our bodies both alone, with friends, and in front of our children
2. Positive affirmations about our body and what it DOES not how it looks: rewire the brain by feeding positivity where you need it
3. Celebrate qualities about people and kids and not how they look
4. Limit access to social media accounts and media that don’t promote body positivity
5. Not discussing weight in a negative way at doctor’s visits or ever.

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More compliments that aren't oriented around appearance, please

It's shocking how many compliments people get have to do with the way they look, and even positive comments can lead to an unhealthy emphasis on appearance. We can all try giving kids compliments like "That was such a smart observation!" or "I love the way you think!" or "Wow, that took hard work—way to go!" rather than focusing on how they look.

Parents on Dr. Amin's Instagram page shared how their kids responded to the question of what they'd change about their body if they could, and they reflect the responses in the video.

"Just asked my son this question and he said he'd change his feet into robot feet and would have robot arms and a robot belly🤖🥹"

"I asked my 5 year old daughter this question, and without any hesitation she said "I wouldn't change anything". By far, one of my most proudest moment as a parent."

"Just asked my three kids: Eldest said “I’d change nothing.” Youngest said “I don’t think I can anything but if I could, I would change everything to always be happiness.” Middle said “I would change madness… so that my body would never be mad anymore.” 🥹🥹🥹 Insecurities are taught. This really touched & convicted me 😭 Thank you for sharing this!"

"My kid said he would turn his body into Godzilla."

"🔥❤️ 6 year old said he would make a clone so they can go to school. 👏👏"

Let's all try to bring back that childhood wonder when we think about our bodies and celebrate the awesome powers they have—or even the imaginary ones they could have.

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