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I spent a day asking people what makes them mad. Their answers were eye-opening.

We're all more alike than we think.

“Hey, my name is Pen. I’ve been traveling around the Bay Area asking people what makes them mad and what they’re doing to fix it. May I interview you?”

I recited this phrase, or some variation thereof, so many times on Wednesday Nov. 11, 2015, it started to lose meaning. Twelve hours of riding around on public transportation asking the same question to people — and even more time asking it to myself. It reminded me of that one day I said the word "spoon" a million times and ended up thinking: Why in the hell did they call it that in the first place? What does it really mean? What does it all really mean!?!

At one point, I got mad at the question. At another point, I got angry with the premise of the project I was working on.


These are some of the folks I met. All photos by Pen Harshaw, used with permission.

The distance traveled pissed me off. The time it took to conduct the interviews annoyed me. The technology I was using made me frustrated a couple of times. And the people who wouldn’t speak to me — especially those who shut me down before I could fully state the aforementioned phrase — gave me the greatest inspiration to be mad.

This project started out of genuine curiosity. I wanted to know what makes people mad and what could be done to fix it?

Prior to pestering people on public transportation, I posed a question to myself.

I don’t like injustice, police brutality, lack of resources in "third world countries," the term "third world country," student loans — oh man, do I despise those! I don’t like when people put recycling in the trash, I hate prisons, and I’m disgusted by slavery. The line at the DMV perturbs me. Speaking of lines: my receding hairline? I’m not a fan. Oh, and when the toilet seat doesn’t stay up as I’m taking a piss — it makes me want to shake my fist at the sky.

I hate it when people are mean to each other for no reason at all. C’mon, we already have to deal with systems of oppression and glitchy technology, and then you run into a rude person on the subway who just needs to let their anger out on someone — and you happen to be that someone. That’s uncalled for.

These are all things that could make me mad, but I choose not to let them. I’ve read articles about happiness being a choice, and I believe that anger is a choice as well. Instead of getting mad, I get motivated. I choose to take that energy and use it to change the situation. If I can’t change it, I don’t trip.

So, that line at the DMV, the glitchy technology, and that vanishing hairline — I let those be. But the institution of prison, student loans, and the rude person on the train — I fight those with my words.

After gaining this understanding about myself, though, I wanted to know: What makes other people angry? I wanted to travel Bay Area public transportation for 12 hours interviewing people about human concerns and resolutions. I wanted to listen to them.

So that's what I did.

At the end of the daylong experiment, I sat in the Chipotle up the block from the Ferry Building on Market Street in San Francisco, filing my final interviews.

The results:

A 15-year-old African-American boy blew my mind when he said that some black people make him mad — “the ghetto ones.”

A cab driver from Pittsburgh caught me off guard when he candidly let me know that self-medicating was the solution to his anger.

Tom, the cab driver, told me: "I try not to get too mad lately. I try to think positive, stay positive, and have good thoughts. Sometimes I still get mad, but I try not to focus on it. If do get mad, it’s at pain; my body hurts a lot, but it’s getting better."

A 79-year-old French woman waiting at a bus stop in Richmond explained that she lives by herself and doesn’t get mad at herself; hence, she is happy. And I believe her.

And then there was 26-year-old Tommy Cross who explained, on his way to work, that the lack of opportunities for those who need them most is what pisses him off.

Tommy works in education, he told me, where he combats this struggle every day.

In the end, I conducted 28 interviews on the record, and many others off the record.

But the folks I spoke to in person were only part of the story. People all over the world also responded to my initial Medium post with vivid, sometimes emotional, accounts of what makes them mad, from drivers failing to stop for the disabled to the ugly fissures in Silicon Valley.

Some wrote about feeling powerless; others condemned senseless acts of violence. One woman opened up about the danger she faces taking public transportation at night.

There were a lot that I did not see coming: war in Yemen and pigeons in the Mission.

Two teens named Hoods and Jetz told me that pebbles in the street make them mad; they can deal with the unwarranted filming and scooter kids, but the pebbles — there’s nothing they can do about those.

Adyson is 16. What makes him mad? "When they say stuff without thinking and when they want attention! It’s aggravating. It gets me really mad. C’mon man, you’re embarrassing yourself!"

I was humbled by Reese, a 31-year-old musician and audio engineer, who told me that he gets upset when people aren’t chasing their true purpose, their dream — a selfless concern if I’ve ever heard one.

I laughed at the fact that just about every person between the ages of 15 and 32 said they don’t like liars, posers, misconceptions of the truth, or stereotypes.

I laughed because that’s the “digital native” generation — a group that has seen massive amounts of lies and misinformation from individuals and institutions come across their computer screens, phones, and televisions since they were born.

William, age 37, told me that liars made him mad. "Just a bunch of liars  —  lying. I don’t like it."

Being a product of that generation, I understand. When I turned their responses around, asking them if they ever lie or cheat, every single person admitted to the same offenses.

I understand this too. I tell a lie every now and then. I’m not proud of it, but I’m human.

And in the end, that’s what this project brought to light: We’re all human. With human concerns. And human reactions.

While approaching people at random, I noticed something: Most people’s first instinct was to acknowledge the anger caused by the actions of other humans. This was surprising — I had expected people to name some of the bigger, overarching problems facing our society today: income inequality, San Francisco’s tech bubble, police brutality, public transportation, the city’s housing crisis.

But instead, a large majority of folks commented on their relationships, their emotions, and their feelings. More often than not, people told me about being lied to or betrayed by a trusted “friend.” A number of people in customer service roles discussed “how to deal with people.”

There was the woman who didn’t like when people litter.

There was the guy who didn’t like people talking behind his back.

There was Kathy, who gets annoyed by the homeless folks who camp out in her coffee shop:

And Carlos, who gets mad when people ask him where the bathroom is.

The skater kids were mad at the scooter kids; other teens were frustrated by people who don’t listen, people who don’t pay attention, fake people.

The common thread was that we get angry about how people treat people.

People. That’s the root of other people’s anger. So what are people going to do about it? That’s a question for all of us.

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

Tammy Nelson refused to change seats for mom and kids

If you've traveled on an airplane in the last several years, you know it's much cheaper to chose the basic seats in the main cabin. There's nothing inherently different about these particular seats, other than the fact that it will be randomly selectee by the airline. If you're traveling alone, that's really not a bad deal, but you're traveling with a party that you'd like to keep together - like your children—the risk gets to be a little higher. One mom traveling with an 11 and 15-year old took the risk and banked on a stranger accommodating...that's not quite how it played out.

Tammy Nelson did a double take at her ticket after seeing the mom in her window seat. Of course, people accidentally sit in the wrong seats on planes all the time. However, Nelson quickly realized that this was no accident. This mom boarded the plane with her older children and had taken it upon herself to sit in the same row as her children, essentially commandeering a stranger's seat. Nelson assumed it was a mistake and informed the woman that the seat was in fact hers but the response she received was surprising.

"She said, 'Oh, you want to sit here?'," Nelson told Good Morning America. "She said, 'Oh, well I just thought I could switch with you because these are my kids.'"

airline, airline seating, best airplane seat, flying with kis, flying with teens, airplane drama, airplane karen, travelmedia1.giphy.com

That's an interesting assumption considering seats are assigned and many people, like Nelson, pay extra to have the seat they prefer. Now, there's no telling if funds were tight and this was an unplanned trip for the mom and kids which caused her to buy the more budget friendly tickets or if she was simply being frugal and was banking on the kindness of a stranger.

Either way, Nelson specifically paid for a window seat due to motion sickness and though she paid extra, she was willing to sit in the other row if that seat was also a window seat. But it turns out, it was a middle seat.

Surely there's someone out there that loves the middle seat. Maybe a cold natured person that enjoys the body heat of two strangers sitting uncomfortably close. Or perhaps someone that doesn't mind accidentally sleeping on an unsuspecting passenger's shoulder. But that person wasn't Nelson, so when the middle seat was offered in exchange for her bought and paid for window seat, she politely but firmly declined.

@myconquering Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens ♬ original sound - MyCONQUERing

Her refusal to give in to the mom's seemingly entitled request for Nelson's seat has resulted in parents and child-fee people cheering her on after she posted the details on her TikTok page, MyCONQUERing, which quickly racked over 3.4 million views.

"Nope. If it's not an upgrade it's a sacrifice," a commenter wrote.

"You did the RIGHT thing. Folks need to plan their travel together. Lack of planning on their part does not constitute an inconvenience on yours," one person said.

"I have 3 kids and have sat in different rows when they were passed toddler age. I agree, book your flight earlier," another said.

"You were right. As a woman with 3 children, I always pay extra so we're sat together," another mom said.

airline, airline seating, best airplane seat, flying with kis, flying with teens, airplane drama, airplane karen, travelmedia3.giphy.com

Luckily, there's been enough incidences like this to prompt actual change. More airlines are guaranteeing free family seating for parents with children under a certain age (not that that does much more the woman in this story, but still). Additionally, the U.S. Department of Transportation is proposing a rule requiring airlines to provide fee-free family seating and clearly disclose this right to passengers.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has since been updated.

Animals & Wildlife

Why have we domesticated some animals but not others? It comes down to four F's.

An entertaining video explains why we can't ride zebras or breed "war bears."

Horses were domesticated over 5,000 years ago. Zebras, never.

Humans have domesticated several kinds of animals over the millennia, from trusty horses and mules to livestock for milk and meat to our favorite furry companions. But why those specific animals and not others? What is it that led us to those particular choices? Why can we ride horses but not zebras? Why don't we purposefully breed "war bears" to fight for us?

That last question comes straight from the always-interesting and often-hilarious CGP Grey, whose YouTube videos explore all kinds of things we wonder about but don't necessarily take the time to research. In the video "Why Some Animals Can't Be Domesticated," Grey explains the four main elements that make an animal a good candidate for domestication, which excludes bears (and many others) from the list.

Grey alliterated the four elements to make them easier to remember: Friendly, Feedable, Fecund, and Family-Friendly. Let's dig into what those mean.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Domestication requirement #1: Friendly

This one is fairly self-explanatory, but basically an animal has to not post an inherent, immediate threat. We have to be able to catch them if we're going to domesticate them, so that eliminates all of the "carnivores whose day job is murder" as Grey puts it, as well as the large, nervous prey animals that are too afraid of us to let us get anywhere near them.

wild animals, domesticated animals, gazelleGood luck trying to catch a gazelle.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #2: Feedable

Every animals is feedable, of course, but that doesn't mean it's easy or cheap to feed them, especially in large numbers. This category pretty much eliminates pure carnivores and some omnivores, leaving mostly herbivores (and some unpicky omnivores) that are easy and cheap to feed. And that aren't dangerous (see #1).

wild animals, domesticated animals, chickens, chicken feedChickens will eat just about anything.Photo credit: Canva

Domestication requirement #3: Fecund

This requirement is all about breeding and babies. Some animals are extremely slow to breed, like pandas and elephants, making them undesirable candidates for domestication. Animals that have mate frequently and have relatively short gestation times and/or large litters are more suited to domesticated life. They also need to grow up quickly, which also takes elephants out of the pool.

However, as Grey points out, humans can still tame other animals like elephants. But taming is not the same as domesticating. The basic rule is: If it's on a farm, it's domesticated. If it's in a circus, it's tamed.

Domestication requirement #4: Family-friendly

This is where the horses and zebras question comes in. Horses were domesticated in Eurasia, but if humans started in Africa, why weren't zebras domesticated first? Grey explains that while horses tend to live in hierarchical herds, zebra are more independent with no family structure. Humans can capture the lead male horse and get the rest of the herd to fall in line. Zebra herds are more of a free-for-all and they're kind of jerks to even one another.

horses, zebras, domesticated animals, wild animalsThere's actually a big difference between horses and zebras besides just the stripes.Photo credit: Canva

Barnyard animals have inherent family structures that humans have figured out how to fit into. These animals learn to see the humans who own them as a lead cow or top chicken or whatever.

Way back in the hunter-gatherer age, when humans were just figuring out animal domestication, animals had to have all four of these requirements. Today, we have the ability and technology to domesticate more animals if we want to, but we also have less of a need to. Some breeds of foxes have recently been domesticated, bred to be friendly with humans. How fun would it be to have a pet fox?

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Technically, a lot more animals could be domesticated if people really wanted to put in multiple human lifetimes of time and effort, but why?

You can follow CGP Grey on YouTube for more fun and informative videos.

Images via Canva

Dad uses HALT method from addiction recovery for better parenting.

Disciplining kids is a bona fide part of parenting. Redirecting kids when they are misbehaving takes tact and patience.

TikToker Justin (@abetterdad), a dad of three boys, shared in a new video how a slogan from Alcoholics Anonymous has helped him be more patient and understanding with his kids when they're acting out of line. By taking stock of his kids by using the acronym HALT (which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired), he shares that parents can better assess the 'why' behind a child's misbehavior, which in turn can lead to more patient and understanding reaction in parenting.

"When my kids act out, I challenge myself to ask what I missed instead of blaming them and getting frustrated at their behavior," he wrote in the video's caption. "I use the HALT method (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) to assess what's wrong."

@abetterdad

#creatorsearchinsights

In the video, his three sons can be seen playing on a playground and Justin continues to explain why the HALT method works to prevent him from lashing out at his kids when they are misbehaving. "Most are obvious, but Lonely sneaks up on you. Kids crave connection and often act out when they don't get it."

HALT is an acronym created by Alcoholics Anonymous that is meant to help those in recovery learn to address their most basic needs in order for them to live a healthy and balanced life with the goal of maintaining sobriety. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), HALT should be used "when feeling stressed and then take appropriate action before the impulse to use or reengage in risk behaviors becomes overwhelming." HALT can be defined as:

  • Don't get too Hungry can include an awareness—not only of avoiding being too hungry, but also focusing on healthy eating.
  • Don't get too Angry is a reminder to understand the causes of your anger and find healthy ways to feel and express that anger.
  • Don't get too Lonely is a reminder to connect with safe people, engage in social and recreational activities with others, and attend recovery support groups.
  • Don't get too Tired is a reminder to get enough sleep and rest when fatigued.

HALT, halt method, mental health, AA, mindfulness Stop Right There The End GIF by FreeformGiphy

Psychiatrist and addiction specialist David Streem, MD, with Cleveland Clinic, also adds, “HALT has two physical states — hunger and tired — and two emotional states — anger and lonely. It’s a good balance because you’re taking care of yourself physically and emotionally."

In parenting, Justin encourages parents to implement the slogan in a similar way to better understand why kids may be behaving the way they are, and to address any unmet needs they have before reacting.

@abetterdad

#creatorsearchinsights #parentingtips #momlife #dadlife #toddlertips #childhood

Fellow parents are loving his use of the HALT method to become better parents.

"Is their cup filled? Did they have enough time with you today? That's what I ask myself. They need their cups filled with mom and dad time. Going through the checklist is the best way to go!" one viewer commented.

Another added, "This is going to be of tremendous help. From one dad (whose dad was emotionally distant/abusive/neglectful/etc.) to another, thank you."

Another commented, "What a beautiful time to raise children - we love them so fiercely we find a special determination to HELP rather than push perfection."

Photo by BĀBI on Unsplash

Sometimes you just can't hold it in.

The year was 1975. The TV sitcom was The Mary Tyler Moore Show. The episode was quite simply titled, "Chuckles Bites the Dust." It won an Emmy and is considered by many to be one of the funniest and most relatable moments to ever grace our televisions.

Chuckles was a clown who happened to have a segment at the news station where Mary (and her coworkers Ted, Lou, Sue and others) worked. His unfortunate death was so deeply absurd that people couldn't help but make jokes, which Mary thought was in extremely poor taste. But when the funeral came around, it hits her like a ton of bricks and what rolled out was unstoppable, uncontrollable laughter.

A reviewer on the "Chuckles Bites the Dust" IMDb page simply writes, "Besides being the funniest episode in this series, it's quite possibly the single funniest episode of any series, period. It's about as close to perfection as you can get."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

There is something about stifling a laugh that seems to make OTHER people laugh, and it usually seems to be all in good fun. However, some doctors and researchers claim it's often not about something being "funny." On the Bright Side YouTube page (@Brightsideofficial), they share, "Researchers found that only 10 to 20% of laughter is a genuine response to a shared joke. So, that 80-90% of unaccounted-for laughter is when people are laughing because something isn’t funny. We get scared when things don’t go as we expect them to. In an extreme sense, we could actually be laughing because we’re in physical shock and are in denial about the situation we’re witnessing. It’s a way to mentally run away from our fear and literally 'laugh it off.' It’s a comforting mechanism to calm down our mind in a high-stress situation."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

On a slightly brighter side (no pun intended), they also share, "Laughter has also been known to up our tolerance for pain. This means that laughter really is the best medicine!"

Over on TikTok, Comedy Hub is bringing the laughter with their clip, "Ranking the worst-timed laughs." This has garnered nearly 400,000 likes and tons of comments, mostly of people sharing their own rankings.

It begins with a poor guy discussing a serious matter with an unfortunately high voice on a Belgian talk show (some say this was a set-up for comedy; others disagree). What they can agree on, however, is that he gives "serious Michael Scott vibes." Watching the interviewer try not to laugh elicits pure joy from a lot of us.

There are six clips in total in the montage. Another is American Idol’s Simon Cowell—alongside Randy Jackson and Paula Abdul—desperately attempting to stop laughing at a sweet contestant with a less-than-sweet voice. In the top ranking, comedian Ricky Gervais bursts into hysterics on a morning news show where they seem to be discussing a heavy matter (in Ricky’s case, he defends his laughter: “Hairy bikers. What? I’m not allowed to laugh at that?”).

@thec0medyhub

Worst Timed Laughs 🤣 #tryingnottolaugh #trynottolaughtiktoktv #laughing #laughinginserioussituations #funnyclips #memes #funnyclips #fyp #foryou #foryoupage

And when Ricky laughs, it’s hard not to. It’s absolutely contagious.

An all-time favorite of many is singer Fergie singing the national anthem at the NBA All-Star Game. The players couldn’t contain their smirks, and when one started, the others followed. To be clear, it's not mean-spirited and she's clearly talented. She was just a bit, according to comments, "extra" on this day and it was tough not to notice. Even Jimmy Kimmel up in the stands gets the "laughter bug"—and it’s downhill from there. But also so very, very funny.

@betr

Iconic from Fergie 🙏 #allstar #fergie #anthem #nba