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I'm black. I live in the whitest city in America. So I left town to see 'Black Panther.'

"Where are you off to tonight?" my Lyft driver asked.

"Wakanda," I said under my breath.

"Excuse me?"

"The movies," I said. "Black Panther."

I got up, rolled out my suitcase, dropped my dog off at daycare, and flew 965 miles to Los Angeles to see "Black Panther."

It wasn't a star-studded premiere. It wasn't a sneak preview or special showing with a Q&A. It was simply a 3D show at the Baldwin Hills Cinemark I selected for one specific reason: I wanted to watch "Black Panther" with other black people.

Allow me to back up.

Image via Marvel Studios.

I live in Portland, Oregon.

It's a beautiful city. The air is clean and the donuts are plentiful, but it is very white. Because I work from home and live in a mostly white neighborhood in the whitest city in America, I can sometimes go a full week without seeing another black person in my daily interactions.

While my neighbors are, for the most part, well-meaning white people, they're still white. I still get curious stares at the fancy grocery store and literal head tilts at the dog park. What can I say? White people gonna white.

When I heard about "Black Panther," I knew this would be a film for the ages, but maybe more for me than my neighbors.

If you're unfamiliar with the actual plot of the film or the comics it's based on,  here's a rapid-fire recap: Following the death of his father, King T'Chaka, Prince T'Challa (Chadwick Boseman) becomes King of Wakanda and Black Panther. Wakanda is a technologically advanced nation in Africa, whose innovation is fueled by vibranium, a powerful metal found deep in the mountains.

To preserve the rich resource and protect its citizens, Wakanda hid itself from the outside world, presenting as a rural, developing farm country. As T'Challa assumes the throne, he is challenged by foes determined to destroy his country and its beautiful legacy. So he teams up with his badass team of lady special forces, the Dora Milaje, and the CIA to stop it.

While "Black Panther" does not feature the first black superhero and it's not the first black movie on the big screen, this film is something altogether different. With the Disney and Marvel money machine working overtime, "Black Panther" has the production and marketing budget most films with majority-back casts only dream of. It was also co-written and directed by black people, Joe Robert Cole and Ryan Coogler, who are the personification of young, gifted, and black.

Image via Marvel Studios.

Uh, black people kicking ass and taking names to protect their African technological utopia? Yes, please. I knew if I wanted to experience this with people who deeply understood what a unique and affirming film this would be, I couldn't see it in Portland. Sure, there would be fans, but something would be missing.

When tickets went on sale a few weeks ago, I bought one for the 8 p.m. show in Los Angeles ... then checked on flights.

I selected the Cinemark at Baldwin Hills because the community is almost the exact inverse of my own.

Just a two-hour plane ride and a short drive from my home is the Baldwin Hills/Crenshaw neighborhood in the southern part of L.A. It's home to more than 32,000 people. 71% are black, with Latinx and Asian people both ahead of white people by the numbers.

I went inside the large theater and took it all in. As I snaked through the popcorn line, a little black boy practiced his Black Panther fighting moves on the velvet ropes. The adults with him smiled warmly and took pictures of the TV screen displaying the movie times. Just seeing Black Panther's name on a run-of-the-mill flat screen was enough to celebrate.

I buzzed with anticipation and treated myself to an Icee. Black Panther would want me at my sugary best.

As the room filled, I took a very unofficial census and noticed my theater was about 90% black with a handful of Latinx people and three white people.

The vibe was less, "opening night at the movies" and more "family reunion." There were big hugs. Run-ins with old friends, barbecue chicken snuck in inside a purse, and some pretty awesome looks. (The release of "Black Panther" has inspired many people to break out their African prints, donning gowns, geles, and bold shirts. To be clear, these pieces and prints aren't costumes. They're culture. There's an entire hashtag dedicated to it. Spider-man could never.)

The film started abruptly after a few credits rolled and I was suddenly nervous. What if it couldn't live up to the hype? What if I'd pinned too much on a simple movie?

Fortunately, I had not.

And seeing the film with black people only heightened the entire experience.

We clapped. A lot. Did Chadwick Boseman come on screen? Clap for him! Did a black woman just beat someone's ass? Give her a round of applause. Did the white man say something silly? Give him a golf clap for being a decent ally.

We let out big belly laughs and ducked and winced in pain when T'Challa took his licks. We were a part of something bigger than a blockbuster budget or a late night showing. We were in on something together, fighting right alongside our blackity-black-black hero. We celebrated the black excellence on-screen, loud and proud. Because we finally had the space and opportunity to do so.

Image via Marvel Studios.

There was something monumental about seeing a black man and the fierce women who protect him fighting to preserve and defend their country and culture against those out to destroy them.

I felt an almost instinctual urge to protect Black Panther, both the character and the film, not just from the villains who would do him harm, but the world at large. To shield him from those who don't understand why we need a black superhero in the first place. To safeguard him from the people who roll their eyes when we clap and cheer and get our lives for a near-perfect two hours. To secure him from a world where black boys can yell out his name and are met not with "Shhhh," but a handful of women across the room cheering, "That's right, baby" like an "amen" in church.

I still want to protect him, and this film, because I know that in the real world, there are people who want nothing more than to crush our joy, steal our spirit, and limit our dreams.

But ultimately, he doesn't need my help. Black Panther, hero and film, are more than strong enough to stare down super villains and everyday haters. And if he's not — if it's all too much — the fierce community behind him has his back.

Image via Marvel Studios.

When the film ended, we clapped once more and the lights came up.

I took a few deep breaths, not wanting to forget a thing. People gathered their empty popcorn tubs and walked to the exit, a little bouncier, heads a little higher. The film just has that effect on you. I wondered if white people felt like this walking out of every other movie. Visibility is a bigger privilege than they'll ever realize.

A new Lyft driver picked me up and I slid over in the seat.

"Did you just come from 'Black Panther'?" she asked.

"Yes, I did."

"Oh my God, how was it?" she said.

I stared longingly at the wave of smiling black faces walking out of the movie theater and into the night, a fitting end to an evening in our own private Wakanda.

"I can't wait to go back."

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5 small things that made us smile this week

Your weekly cheat sheet to the best of the Internet

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Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s a sweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends at All In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

 
 @tarareynolds03 

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

 ♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds 
 
  This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
 “If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

 
 @caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW 
 
 

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

 
 @puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay 
 
 

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

 
 @megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani 
 
 

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In. 

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A sea lion hopped on a woman's boat to escape a group of killer whales and the footage is wild

What would you do if you were in the boat?

Screenshots via @castrowas95/Twitter

A seal escaping a killer whale attack.

In the Pacific Northwest, orca sightings are a fairly common occurrence. Still, tourists and locals alike marvel when a pod of "sea pandas" swims by, whipping out their phones to capture some of nature's most beautiful and intelligent creatures in their natural habitat. While orcas aren't a threat to humans, there's a reason they're called "killer whales." To their prey, which includes just about everything that swims except humans, they are terrifying apex predators who hunt in packs and will even coordinate to attack whales several times their own size.

So if you're a human alone on a little platform boat, and a sea lion that a group of orcas was eyeing for lunch jumps onto your boat, you might feel a little wary. Especially when those orcas don't just swim on by, but surround you head-on.

Watch exactly that scenario play out (language warning, if you've got wee ones you don't want f-bombed):


 

Ummm, yeah. An orca sighting is one thing, but this is a whole other story. Orcas have been known to knock large prey off of icebergs, so the whole "orcas don't hurt humans" thing doesn't feel super reassuring in this scenario.

The footage came from TikTok user @nutabull, whose now-deleted account stated she was from Vancouver Island.

The viral video sparked a debate about whether the sea lion should be kicked off the boat or not. The woman kept telling the sea lion it "had to go" with a frank "Sorry, buddy, that's life," message, though she never actively tried to push it off. Many commenters joked about yeeting the sea lion off the boat to avoid a potentially disastrous encounter with the orcas. Others were on #teamsealion, saying they wouldn't have the heart to boot the poor thing.

It's a big philosophical question. The philosophical underpinnings of the belief that humans should stay out of the matters of wild animals, so as not to interrupt the delicate balance of nature, is called "relational non-interventionism." The philosophy holds that we have no general obligation to alleviate animal suffering, and that we typically do not have special obligations to ease the suffering of wild animals. Therefore, we generally do not have a duty to intervene in nature to ease the suffering of wild animals. That's one thing to believe, but who wants to see animals suffer?


The reality is orcas eat sea lions—the circle of life and whatnot. Most of us just don't find ourselves in the middle of that circle, having to figure out whether the apex predators surrounding our boat are going to patiently wait for their lunch to come back or take it upon themselves to bump it back into the water.

Thankfully for the woman, the sea lion seemed to decide on its own that its options were limited and dove back in to take its chances with the orcas. But phew, that encounter would be harrowing for just about anyone.

Best of luck, sea lion. Hope you're an exceptional swimmer.

This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Teacher goes viral for showing up to her middle school at 10pm in a bonnet and pajamas

Her reason why proves that "testing anxiety isn't just for kids."

@misswinans_teach/TikTok

Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear a bonnet and PJs.

While we often think of test day as purely a stressful day for students, teachers definitely feel the pressure too. Just take middle school teacher Sarah Ashley Winans’ word for it.

Winans recently went viral on TikTok after sharing a video of herself entering the school she works at in the middle of the night, donning her pajamas and a sleeping bonnet. No, this wasn’t a bizarre episode of sleepwalking—Winans woke up from her pre-test day slumber and realized she had forgotten to plug in her computer charging cart that would be vital for students to take the exam.

Luckily, the crisis was somewhat easily averted. In the clip we see her hop out of her car, unlock the building, walk down the hall and into her classroom, and in two seconds flat she comes out flashing an “all is well” peace sign to the security camera. Phew.


 
 @misswinans_teach Test taking anxiety isn’t just for the kids. Mind you…this was at 10:15 p.m. 🫠🫠 #itsfineimfineeverythingsfine #viralvideo #teachersoftiktok #teachertok #middleschoolteacher #teacherlife #teacherhumor #middleschool #fyp #trending #sendhelp #whyamilikethis ♬ This Is The Life Demo Hannah Montana - out of context hannah montana 
 
 


“Test anxiety isn’t just for kids,” her caption read.

In an interview with Today, Winans shared how this test anxiety comes from a place of wanting all her students to feel at ease. "I don't really sleep the week of testing, because I want them to be OK, and I want them to feel confident, not to be nervous and worried. I know testing can really put a lot of pressure on people."

 teachers, teacher of tiktok, test day, test anxiety, state testing, prepping for test, funny teachers, state exam, chromebook Sarah Ashley Winans.Courtesy of Sarah Ashley Winans

Down in the comments, people really felt for Winans’ plight.

"I just know you were stress texting your principal,” one person wrote. Another echoed, "Yall know she was (on the phone) with someone bc she was scared to death."

Indeed, Winans did call her administrator before making her adventure to the school (luckily only a five minute drive away), and that was actually how she got this hilarious footage. "She let me look at it, and then I said, 'I have to record it,'" Winans told the outlet

Viewers who were not feeling secondhand anxiety just chimed in with pure appreciation.

“This is so Janine coded,” one person wrote, referencing Quinta Brunson's character in Abbott Elementary.

 teachers, tests, testing, abbott elementary, gif Janine from Abbott Elementary. media.giphy.com  

“Not all heroes wear capes, they’re in bonnets plugging in the chromebook cart at 10pm,” quipped another.

Still another said, “Just so you know, you’re an amazing teacher because WHO would go late at night when you’re already in your jammies? You’re awesome.”

Following the huge response to her video, Winans told Today, that she hopes it humanizes teachers a bit and reminds folks they aren’t perfect, but still do everything they can to provide for their students.

"This is just something we do. Teachers, you make mistakes, and you forget to do things and, I mean, you just do what you have to do to make sure your kids are successful. And I was just doing my job."

So, in addition to providing education, therapy, and mentorship, teachers also have to do a little recovery missions from time to time. That’s just reason #509 that they deserve more.

This article originally appeared in May.

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People who live alone share their 45 best money-saving hacks

"I fill empty glass jars with water and store them in my fridge. It costs more to cool an empty fridge than a full one."

Image via Canva

People living alone share their tips for saving money.

Whether you're single or choose to live alone, it can be expensive. Finding ways to save money living alone can take some creative thinking, but there are easy ways to put some extra cash back in your wallet.

In an online forum, member Just_Throw_Away_67 posed the question to fellow people who live alone: "What random cost-saving measures have you found that work well for those living alone?"

And single people and people living solo happily shared their money-saving hacks. These are 45 of the best ways to save money if you live alone.

 save money, saving money, money saving, make it rain, save money gif Make It Rain Coupons GIF  Giphy  

"I'll start, to save money on energy I fill empty glass jars with water and store them in my fridge. It costs more to cool an empty fridge than a full one, and since I don't eat very much my fridge is often nearly empty. Not sure how much this has saved me, but now I have water if I ever were to need it!" Just_Throw_Away_67

"Blackout curtains because I live in the South so it’s always hot. I also have privacy film that blocks some UV rays when I do want some light. Using a floor fan in my room (where I spend the majority of my time) with the door closed to keep it cooler. Close the air vents in my guest room since it’s primarily unused to cut down on AC costs. Cook large batches of food at one time so I’m not constantly using my stove/oven." eternally_feral

"It’s a pain to heat the whole oven for a little food. I recommend an air fryer over a toaster oven though. They’re a bit faster (and you can still make toast)." MissDisplaced

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

"I keep my heating and cooling low. I can wear extra layers or less to get to a comfortable temp." Reasonable-Cold2161

"I read a tip to not bother doing a full 'grocery shop' trip if it doesn’t work for you/doesn’t make sense for you. Rather, if you find you’re throwing food away you couldn’t eat in time, try to do the method of going to the store of getting, say, just what you need for tonight and tomorrow’s meals, or whatever." citynomad1

"Grocery delivery. I end up spending 50% less compared to shopping in the store." Everydaylookwithin

"This is why I do curbside pickup. I order through the app, see what deals and coupons they have, stick to my list and don’t end up impulse buying. An added bonus is I can pick up on my way home from work and not spend time waiting in the checkout line." zoebadwolf

 fridge, refrigerator, save money, the fridge, open fridge Hungry Midnight Snack GIF  Giphy  

"It took a little bit of up front investment, but I dumped my gigantic and ancient energy-hungry fridge a long time ago for a brand new one that is much smaller and also has a variable speed compressor for extra efficiency. The energy savings from that move alone probably paid for the fridge several times over by now." BrewCityChaserV2

"I have a countertop dishwasher that I intentionally use only during off-peak hours. Luckily, this rental has a new refrigerator, and I run my air purifier on its 2 hour timer during those off hours (cat hair lol). Oh- I bought a Tushy bidet on sale- it pays for itself in the first year!" sk8rcruz

"I always bring my own lunch to work. I also cut up fresh veggies, put them in ziploc bags, freeze them, and then steam them later in the microwave. You can also just put a whole bag of spinach in the freezer and then steam it in the microwave. Clean with a plastic spray bottle of vinegar and dish soap. Sprinkle baking soda on carpets and rugs before vacuuming." Unhappy-Jaguar-9362

 costco, costco card, costco gift, buy bulk, bulk shopping Conan Costco GIF by Team Coco  Giphy  

"I have milk jugs with water in them in the fridge and freezer. I also buy in bulk. Usually the more you buy the cheaper per unit it is. I have a year supply of everything (joking) not quite but almost. I keep my air conditioner at a warmer temperature and use a fan to cool me all the way. I close blinds and curtains during the day. This cuts down on the heat in the room. Unfortunately it is dark in my apartment during the day , but this can make a difference of up to 10 degrees. This saves on cooling costs. Instead of buying single servings of food. I make a family size amount and put the leftovers in round dinner containers all ready to go for the next meal. These can also be frozen if you don't want the same thing a couple days in a row and put in the microwave for 6 or 7 minutes." Delightful_Helper

"I buy the family size packs of meats, divide and freeze. I also still cook big meals like when my kids were teenagers and divide them into portions and freeze. Its simply too hard to cook for one person. I make a weekly menu of the dishes I want to cook and then place my order for the grocery delivery. It does save money and since I cook a lot of casseroles, big pots of soups and stews, etc., and freeze in portions. I use my air fryer to warm the frozen dishes instead of the oven. It has almost become my hobby to have a variety of different meals through out the week without having to cook every day. Life is good 😊." No_Guava_90

 casserole, casseroles, cooking, baking, big batch Latter Day Saints Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints  Giphy  

"I try to avoid one time use items. For example: bottled water, wipes, swiffer dusters and mop heads, paper towels, etc add up rather quickly. I use reusable mop pads, reusable duster heads and i always have a stainless steel water bottle with me so i don't have to buy water when I'm out." Rich_Group_8997

"If you own your house: Ceiling fans in every room that have a ceiling light fixture in the center. I also changed almost all lights to LED. When the furnace was red-tagged, I replaced it and the AC. It was a budget buster but there was a federal government rebate. My bills are less and it’s much more efficient and quieter." GRIThere

"I turned up my ac and invested in a dreo fan and another simple standing fan for my room and living room. It’s going to save me about 50 bucks this month I think. Also stocking up on beans and rice and frozen veggies and proteins. Keeps me from eating out of if I don’t want to cook. Also making more than I can realistically eat in 3 or 4 days and freezing the rest. Also utilizing holiday sales for big ticket items. I bought a mattress around Memorial Day and a washer this past week for Father’s Day sales at Lowe’s. The washer was actually 100$ cheaper the day after I bought it so I went in and was refunded the difference." MindPerastalsis

"I live in the southwest. It cracks me up to hear that people are fainting and falling ill in 100 degree heat. It's regularly hotter than hell here. I have two layers of reflectix in all my windows. And I have insulated curtains over that. Then I have two AC units. They are both window units but they are big enough individually to cool my tiny house. I sectioned off my house so that I only have to cool the room I am in. I built a solar water heater. I haven't eaten out in years. I repair everything if I can and have invested in lots of tools. I get up stupid early in the morning so I can sit outside in the coolest part of the day. I only shop for groceries once a month and I use the app so I don't impulse buy. I buy large cuts of meat, then I smoke it all and portion it up and freeze it. Makes daily cooking short and sweet I have leftovers from last night for lunch every day. I make my own coffee and bread I turn on my water heater, when it's cold outside, long enough to heat it up and then I shut it back off. I have it turned up a little bit more so it gets a little hotter, but I only run it for an hour or two every two days. I don't smoke cigarettes. I do vape but I go through like $20 worth of vape pods a month instead of pack after pack of expensive cigarettes. When I use the shopping apps I pay close attention to the cost per oz and get the cheapest I can. I own my vehicle outright. It's older but reliable. I don't have any debt other than my phone and power bill. I only subscribe to 3 streaming services because they are a bundle deal. I don't have cable and my Internet is the cheapest deal I can find. Results are still coming in but I estimate I have cut my power bill alone in half and that's the single most expensive thing I pay." AuntBarba

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Woman calls out double standard of baby boomer parents who begged her to have kids

You can't have it both ways.

via Canva/Photos

A stressed mother and her baby boomer parents.

There is a strange phenomenon that occurred in the 1970s, 1980s, and 1990s, when Gen Xers and older millennials were raised: their baby boomer parents were not around very much. This generation of children was often taken care of by daycares or attended school with keys strung around their necks, and when they came home, they were told not to answer the door until a parent arrived. They were the children raised during both the divorce epidemic and the time when, for many families, both parents had to work.

However, the least parented generation in American history had great relationships with their grandparents, who loved to spend time with them and take on babysitting duties. But now that the kids raised in the ‘70s, ‘80s, and '90s have children, they’re noticing something interesting: the parents who weren’t around to raise them aren’t that into being grandparents either.

There is a lot of talk about the differences between baby boomers as grandparents and their parents from the Silent Generation. Some believe it’s because baby boomers have more money than their parents, who were raised at a time when grandparents played a more significant role in child-rearing. After all, they didn't expect to travel or have busy social lives.

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation A baby boomer couple.via Canva/Photos

This generation trend begs the question: Why do boomer parents beg their kids to have children, but shy away when it comes to spending time with them? An upset mother shared about the double standard on Reddit.

“My mother, a devout Christian, always preached the importance of getting married and having children. Now that I’ve done both (and happily so) and moved to be closer to her, she has very little interest in hanging out with us and never, ever offers to watch her grandkids,” she wrote. “I’ve been reading up on this, and it seems that it’s not uncommon. After moving across the country during COVID, I had dreams of my mom wanting to be an active part of our lives. The sad truth of it is, is that I see her maybe once more a year than when I lived across the country…and it’s not for lack of trying on my part.”

The post resonated with many mothers her age who had experienced the same problem. Their boomer parents begged them to have children, but they won’t lift a finger to see them.

“Yup, completely describes my boomer parents. They begged and begged for us to relocate back to my home city. Still, as we began searching for new job opportunities/places to live, we naturally discussed the possibility of them spending some alone time with the grandkids from time to time,” another mom wrote. “That was a full stop for them. Both my parents insisted they’d retired from child watching duties and would not ever be utilized as ‘babysitters.’ The only acceptable option for them was for us to be present the entirety of the time their grandkids were interacting with them.”

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation, grandma, gardening A grandma in the garden. via Canva/Photos

“I think you hit the nail on the head. A lot of the boomers want to be 'seen' as 'good grandparents' while not doing a damn thing,” another mom added.

Another mom noted that their grandparents were amazing, but their parents are the exact opposite. “What’s crazy is I spent TONS of time with my grandparents as a child. I’d routinely be dropped off on the weekends and weeknights,” the mother wrote. “My grandparents picked me up from school regularly. It’s not like my grandparents were doing the same behavior, and therefore it’s a learned generational thing.”

 baby boomers, parenting, grandparents, baby boomer grandparents, me generation,  Baby boomers throwing up a peace sign. via Canva/Photos

One mother in the thread had some sympathy for baby boomers who felt a lot of pressure to have children, regardless of whether they wanted them or not. She believes that now they’re getting their time back. “It’s because even though Boomers had the physical choice to become parents, they didn’t have the cultural/social choice. Whenever I hear this story, I figure the grandparents didn’t really want children. It also explains why we were at our grandparents so often: anything they could do to not be around us, they took it up,” she wrote.

It’s wrong to paint an entire generation with the same brush, and there are, no doubt, plenty of wonderful baby boomer grandparents out there. However, it’s not surprising that a group of people once called the “Me Generation” is more reluctant to spend time with their families than those who came before them. One wonders if their feelings toward family will change when they become the ones who need to be cared for?

This article originally appeared in May.

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Former teacher shares the four things she couldn't tell parents that she's free to reveal now

Teachers notice things that parents often don't.

via Canva/Photos

A woman looks very embarrassed.

Maggie Perkins, 32, made headlines in 2022 when she quit the teaching profession to work at Costco, and showed no interest in looking back. "The conditions were worsening rapidly, and I realized they weren't getting better, and nobody seemed alarmed enough to do anything. I was 29 when I decided to leave," she told People, noting she was making $47,000 at the time.

"The more I learned about Costco and the different roles at the company, the happier I was at the idea of working there, whether at the warehouse or corporate, for the rest of my career," she added. "I feel like there was a great potential reward for pursuing it." Now, three years later, she trains fellow employees and has no regrets about leaving her former career.

Now that Perkins has been out of the classroom for a few years, she can say the things she couldn't when she was working as an educator. So, she created a video where she revealed four big things that she had to keep to herself, and all of them are centered around kids’ hygiene. "I used to be a teacher, and I couldn't have said any of these things to your kid or to you while I was a teacher,” she opens her video.

@itsmaggieperkins

Things I couldn’t say while I was a teacher: 1. Cut your kids nails 2. Get them deodorant before they start really stinking 3. Start wearing a bra before it’s really noticeable 4. Wash those hoodies. #teachersoftiktok #formerteacher #teacherlife #teachertok #middleschoolteacher

What do teachers want to tell their students and parents but can’t?

1. Cut your child’s nails

“If your kid's nails are long and dirty, other kids are noticing, and also it is gross. Kids literally get impetigo from their own fingernails,” she said.

2. Start using deodorant before they smell

“Please start putting deodorant on your kids before you notice that they need it,” she said. “Fifth grade, guys, fifth grade, deodorant.”

3. Your child needs to start wearing a bra sooner than you think 

“It doesn’t have to be like a real bra. This is just like a soft, athleisure-type situation,” she said. “No one wants to be made fun of because it looks like they should be wearing a bra and they're not.”

4. Wash that sweatshirt and hoodie often

“Once those cuffs start to be like literally brown and ratty, wash the jacket. I am watching them wipe their snot on the jacket sleeve day after day after day,” she said. “They're walking around in a dirty snot rag.”

 girl hoodie, young girl sweatshirt, girl in orange, young sassy girl, hand signals  A young girl posing in an orange sweatshirt.via Canva/Photos

Perkins’ advice is for the child’s health, but also to save them from embarrassment. “There's no worse feeling than being a sixth grader who has this like acute sense of being different than others and criticized,” she said. “Your child is probably more aware of it than you are, and they're just not talking to you about it, because kids don't talk to their parents that much.”

The post was popular on TikTok, garnering over 2.4 million views, and it resonated with Perkins’ followers, who shared how hygiene issues had caused them a lot of embarrassment when they were young. "Parents, please also teach your kids to be compassionate because not all kids come from a loving home. Be the love they don’t receive and don’t make fun of the kids who may smell or are not wearing a bra,” one viewer wrote. "I would have loved for a teacher to tell this to my mom. I went to middle school without a bra, and I was so embarrassed to change in the locker rooms," another added.

 boy at lunch, school lunch, embarassed student, salad, middle-school boy, middle school girls A child pre-teen serving himself lunch. via Canva/Photos

Ultimately, Perkins’ tips are all about helping parents anticipate and address any potential hygiene or attire issues their child may encounter before they become a problem, whether that’s causing illness or embarrassment. The former teacher’s tips are a great reminder that a little extra care at home can make things a lot easier for kids on the playground and in the classroom.

This article originally appeared in May.

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