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I love NFL football, but I'm boycotting this year. 22 things I'll be doing instead.

I love NFL football. But we're officially on a break.

For years, I've watched beloved college players jet off to the NFL, and I continued following their careers, cheering on their successes on teams across the country. Back when I settled down in Kansas City for five years, I became a Chiefs fan, spending many a Sunday with chili on the stove and a beer in my hand, watching my team lose to various others in the AFC West.

But as much as I love the game, the history, the tradition, and, frankly, the routine, I can't do it anymore.

The NFL's dangerous history of welcoming players facing accusations of sexual assault or domestic abuse; the effects of head hits and chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE); the league's short-sighted stance on therapeutic cannabis use; and now the blackballing of Colin Kaepernick after his silent demonstrations during "The Star-Spangled Banner" to protest racial inequality. Any of these reasons is enough to walk away, but for me, when examined together, it's hard to ignore.

Activists support NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick outside the offices of the National Football League. Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images.

Like more than 176,000 others, I will be boycotting the 2017 NFL season.

Do I think my boycott will change the league, get Kaepernick a job, or improve the mental and physical health of the players? Nope. But the way I invest my time shows a statement about my priorities and values. This season in particular, my priorities and the NFL's priorities are not in alignment. Not even close.

That may not be the case for you, and that's A-OK. If it brings you joy, watch football. I'm not here to judge or shame. (Especially if you're a Chiefs fan.)

But if you're ready to make a clean break — or maybe just looking to take a few games off — here's a week-by-week breakdown with suggestions on things to watch, do, eat, read, or learn with all of your newfound free time.

September

Week 1: If you're not watching football, watch "football."

The hardest part of any boycott is getting started. Ease the transition by streaming a TV show about football. "Friday Night Lights" is mandatory viewing, but I also recommend two compelling documentary TV series, "Friday Night Tykes" and "Last Chance U."

Week 2: Use your Sundays to try out a new routine.

You know what's tedious? Grocery shopping. You know what's slightly better? Grocery shopping while everyone else is home watching football. Boycott perks!

Week 3: Get kids moving with Fuel Up to Play 60.

FUTP 60 is a partnership between the NFL and the National Dairy Council in collaboration with the USDA to encourage school-based physical activity and structured play along with balanced meals. You don't have to be an NFL player to help out. See what schools are participating in your zip code, and consider donating sports equipment or supplies or volunteering your time.

Torrey Smith shares breakfast with students as part of a FUTP 60 initiative. Photo by Leigh Vogel/Getty Images for Got Milk?

Week 4: Fantasy football is awesome, but have you tried fantasy Congress?

Yeah, it exists. And the stakes have never been higher. I've got Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Oregon) in the first round!

October

Week 5: You may know the lyrics to "The Star-Spangled Banner," but do you know the story behind it?

Particularly its oft-forgotten additional verses. Or why we play it before sporting events? Take some time this week to brush up on this interesting piece of American history.

[rebelmouse-image 19531346 dam="1" original_size="750x1125" caption="A U.S. flag with 15 stripes and 15 stars, like the one that was flown Fort McHenry during the War of 1812, frames the Battle Monument in Baltimore. The anthem's lyrics come from "Defence of Fort M'Henry," a poem written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key after he witnessed the bombardment of Fort McHenry by British ships in the war. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images." expand=1]A U.S. flag with 15 stripes and 15 stars, like the one that was flown Fort McHenry during the War of 1812, frames the Battle Monument in Baltimore. The anthem's lyrics come from "Defence of Fort M'Henry," a poem written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key after he witnessed the bombardment of Fort McHenry by British ships in the war. Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images.

Week 6: The NFL hasn't cornered the market on cancer awareness. Do your part.

At the suggestion of NFL defensive lineman Devon Still, whose daughter fought stage 4 neuroblastoma, the NFL will move away from its traditional October "pink out" for breast cancer to instead raise money and awareness for multiple types of cancer. It's debatable how much money they'll actually raise, but you can follow their lead and volunteer or donate to a research or cancer patient support effort in your community.

Week 7: We're halfway through October. Get yourself to a pumpkin patch ASAP!

In the words of the greatest writer of our time, "It's decorative gourd season, motherfuckers." Get yourself some gourds, a pumpkin, and maybe even some apples. Yeah, you should definitely get some apples.

[rebelmouse-image 19531347 dam="1" original_size="750x498" caption="Photo by David Goehring/Flickr." expand=1]Photo by David Goehring/Flickr.

Week 8: You know which team remains undefeated? Team Books.

Looking for a book that celebrates athleticism and the competitive spirit? Check out "The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics" by Daniel James Brown.

November

Week 9: Is now a good time to talk about the angry elephant in the room afraid of sharing his emotions or appearing vulnerable?

Why am I sharing this link to a primer on toxic masculinity in a story about the NFL? No reason. Just thought you might enjoy it. Moving on.

Week 10: It's a bird! It's a plane! Stop guessing — it was a plane.

Ever wonder why the Blue Angels and other coordinated military plane flyovers are "a thing" at football games? I don't want to give it away, but the answer rhymes with schmilitary schmercruitment. But if you're curious, learn how they hit their marks right on cue.

The Blue Angels perform before Super Bowl 50. Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images.

Week 11: You know what's just as entertaining as an NFL game? Local art. Come on, gang, I'm serious.

In many cases, there are free or low-cost options too, particularly at schools. Bonus points if you attend a show on a Sunday afternoon. If you think it would be tough to compete with the drama and passion of an NFL game, clearly you haven't seen a community theater production of "Phantom of the Opera."

Week 12: You know what's better than Thanksgiving football? Thanksgiving foods made with love/extra butter.

Strengthen your defenses against Thanksgiving football by busying yourself in the kitchen with a new recipe. Learning how to make a dynamite sweet potato pie is its own reward. No touchdown dance required.

[rebelmouse-image 19531349 dam="1" original_size="750x750" caption="Photo by Albert Sun/Flickr." expand=1]Photo by Albert Sun/Flickr.

Week 13: Brush up on your NFL history, which in a lot of ways is TV history.

In fact, there's one moment in particular people still talk about nearly 50 years later. Nov. 17, 1968, is down in history as "The Heidi Bowl," and it may be one of the biggest TV programming blunders of all time. The short version: Don't start a TV movie when there are 65 seconds left in a football game.

December

Week 14: Get outside and play. Your insides will thank you, and your couch needs a break.

The fresh air will do wonders for your body and mind, especially when it's below 60 degrees outside. (And since it's December, odds are, it is.)

[rebelmouse-image 19531350 dam="1" original_size="750x498" caption="Photo by Andrew Hitchcock/Flickr." expand=1]Photo by Andrew Hitchcock/Flickr.

Week 15: If the best part of the game for you is knocking back cold ones, have you tried brewing your own beer yet?

Admit it, you've thought about it once or twice. How hard can it be, right? Well, actually, it's kind of tricky. But it's nothing you can't handle.

Week 16: When guests gather for the holidays, try board games instead of the big game.

Miss the competition and high drama of the gridiron? Look no further than a fast-paced game of Uno. Or for the real players among us: Taboo. Game nights are all the fun and grit of football but with slightly fewer concussions.

Week 17: You made it to the last week of the regular season. Celebrate by learning the dance to Beyoncé's "Love on Top."

You'll be the hit of the New Year's Eve party or, at the very least, your family room.

January

Wild card round: Midterm elections are exactly 10 months away. Are you ready?

It's playoff time, and things are getting serious. You know what else is serious? Democracy, y'all. Make sure your voter registration is current, and start familiarizing yourself with your legislators and those running against them. Where do they stand on the issues important to you? Unlike football, democracy is not a spectator sport, so get in there and get involved.

People deliver their voter registration forms. Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Divisional round: For all the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave for us, give him the whole weekend.

After all, his day is a "day on," not a day off. Look around your community for volunteer opportunities and community events to celebrate King's life and work.

Conference championships: The Winter Olympics start in less than three weeks. Are you ready?

As the old song goes, "Ain't no party like a Winter Olympics party, cuz a Winter Olympics party has guns on skis."

Photo by Harry How/Getty Images.

Pro Bowl: The best NFL players not playing in the Super Bowl will be in Orlando for the game. But do you know what's better? Pretty much anything.

The NFL keeps trying to make the Pro Bowl "a thing," but it's usually a lackluster game. Skip it and go see "Proud Mary" with Taraji P. Henson. The players would probably rather be there too.

February

The Super Bowl: It's a major event for any city, but consider who it leaves out.

The Super Bowl will be in Minneapolis this year, where the average high temperature in February is 23.7 degrees. While the game will be indoors, people experiencing homelessness in the Twin Cities will likely be displaced to make way for events and festivities for the big game. (Yeah, its happened before.) It's always a good time to support shelters and service organizations helping people in need.

Photo by Frederic J. Brown/AFP/Getty Images.

Football has been a part of my routine for so long, I don't know if I'll be able to hold out all season.

But I'm going to try.

Football is so many things to this country — it's tradition, it's family, it's community-building, it's an economic engine. Quitting the game cold turkey will be really difficult. But as the months from February to July remind us, there's life outside of football season, and it's pretty great too.

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Technology

Here’s how one nonprofit org is using Adobe to change the world

Adobe empowers nonprofits to fundraise, advocate, and further their missions.

True

In 2024, it’s practically impossible to function as a nonprofit without the right digital resources. Nonprofits use computer systems and applications for things like education, fundraising, engaging clients, and communicating with donors. However, with limited funding and expertise, it's often difficult to get the digital tools they need to fully support their missions.

The planet needs nonprofit organizations, and nonprofits need better digital tools. For decades, Adobe has provided nonprofits with the tools they need to fulfill their mission—helping them with everything from social media advocacy to educational videos to graphic design. Now, Adobe is offering the pro version of Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits, the most requested and comprehensive set of document and e-signature tools, for just $15 per user per year, which represents a 94% annual savings off the regular price. This will make it easier than ever for nonprofits to streamline business processes and increase their impact with engaging educational and fundraising assets – from annual reports, contracts and grant submissions to brochures and white papers.

Keep reading to hear more about how Adobe helped one nonprofit improve efficiencies and giveback potential – and how you can start using Adobe tools today for your organization.

A nonprofit success story

Albert Manero, a mechanical engineer and graduate of the University of Central Florida, founded Limbitless Solutions, Inc., as a passion project in a small lab. Today, Limbitless is celebrating its 10-year anniversary and has grown into an interdisciplinary team based at the University of Central Florida in Orlando that includes 50 interns with nine different fields of expertise. Their mission? To inspire and empower underserved communities through creative, accessible technology.

Manero and his team of experts create bionic, 3D-printed arms for children with limb differences. Combining visual storytelling with art and engineering, the Limbitless team wants children with limb differences to feel included and capable, while at the same time, able to express their personal identity more fully. Developing bionic arms covered in flowers or designed like Iron Man’s armor, kids with these bionic limbs can not only grip objects, hold hands and more, but can feel empowered to be themselves.

Using Adobe to make a difference

Limbitless, like many others, has utilized Adobe for Nonprofits offerings, which gives nonprofit organizations access to Adobe programs at a deeply discounted rate, including access programs like Adobe Illustrator, Adobe Express and Adobe Acrobat as well as Adobe’s 3D tools.

Adobe solutions are the oil that keeps organizations running smoothly behind the scenes. For the grant application and reporting processes, employees at Limbitless have credited Adobe Acrobat with helping the team secure funding and communicating clearly with donors and partners. With Acrobat, they’re able to create, edit, and manage PDF documents that look professional and polished. The company has also transitioned most of its internal documentation to digital formats using Acrobat. This includes everything from design blueprints, brand guidelines, intern contracts, and user manuals for bionic limbs.

Better tech for a better future

In addition to helping day-to-day operations run smoothly, Adobe has also helped bring Limbitless’ mission of inclusion and accessibility outside of office walls.

Using Adobe Express, the fast and easy create-anything app, Limbitless has been able to create quick how-to videos for young patients and their families that showcase how to use their bionic limbs, as well as a series of videos promoting STEAM (science, technology, engineering art and math) education. The company’s Operations, Advocacy, and Logistics team utilizes Express as well, developing content and visual assets for their social media accounts. Recently, Limbitless partnered with the Adobe Express’ Animate Characters team to create six unique, limb-different selectable avatar characters for their educational outreach and social media campaigns.

And Adobe is helping Limbitless empower kids with limb differences, too: Limbitless’ comic series, Bionic Kid, was created using Adobe Illustrator and features a superhero with limb differences who uses a Limbitless prosthetic arm. This inspired a fundraising concept initiated from the idea by a Limbitless prosthetic recipient Zachary Pamboukas, which has been used in fundraising efforts for more bionic arms and has already raised over $20,000.

Inside the organization and out, Adobe is enabling people to reach their full potential, contributing to better nonprofit organizations and, overall, a better world.

Learn more about the new Adobe Acrobat for Nonprofits offering and explore more ways Adobe can help your organization today.

From Your Site Articles
Joy

Someone asked if 80s kids really 'roamed freely.' After 40,000 answers, the truth is clear.

There is definitely some rose-colored nostalgia in these responses, though.

Photo credit: Canva, @othingstodo_com/X

Were 80s childhoods really as feral as they sound?

Ah, the nostalgia of an 80s childhood. If you've ever watched "The Goonies" or "Stranger Things," you've seen how kids of all ages were largely left to their own devices most of the time, parents playing a background role if any role at all. Children went on unsupervised outdoor adventures for hours upon hours, getting into just enough trouble to learn some lessons but not enough to die (usually).

But is that really what childhood in the 80s was like? Were parents really that hands-off? Did kids really roam around freely like the movies and stereotypes portray? Were people really not worried about what the kids were up to when no one knew where they were and no one had cell phones to check in?

Someone asked that very question and the overwhelming response pointed to a clear answer.

Yes, 80s kids really did have childhoods that are hard to imagine now

"Did parents in the 80s really allow their kids to roam freely, or is that just a portrayal seen in movies?" X user OThingstodo asked. Here are the top responses:

"Really. And it was awesome."

"Facts. We are the generation who raised ourselves. There really was a commercial that came on each night asking parents if they knew where their children were. We survived off hose water & anything we perceived as food. (Berries, fruit trees, etc) We were not allowed to sit inside.. if we tried, we'd get loaded down with chores. We truly were the feral generation.. we took no guts, no glory to new heights & feared absolutely nothing. It was amazing times that still, to this day, bring forth a rush of nostalgia at the smallest memory."

"This is so true. And Sometimes we just got to cook our own TV dinners. And our parents did not constantly have to engage us or make sure we weren’t bored."

"Allowed? We were not allowed in the house during the day. We had bikes and friends. There was 3 rules 1: don't get hurt 2: don't be brought home by the police 3: see that light? If it's on you're late and grounded."

"In the summer it was get home when the streetlights come on. Raised on hose water & neglect. It was glorious."

"I used to roam the sewer drains around town with my friends. Just a handful of us and some flashlights."

"Yep. We rode our bikes all over the place exploring reality. We also had unlicensed lemonade stands, and after we sold out, we’d ride up to the store alone to buy snacks alone. We had our own house keys, we stayed home alone after school, and we cooked for ourselves. No one freaked out about it either."

"We left the house after school and they wouldn’t see us until the street lights came on. Didn’t ask us where we had been or what we did either. We were raised on hose water and neglect in the 70’s and 80’s."

"Well into the 90s. They told us to be home for dinner by ___ or before nightfall. They didn't have a clue where we were or really any way of finding out. This was just the norm. ... then cell phones."

"It’s true. Realize that back then, there weren’t cell phones, video games, 24 hour kids TV, etc. You wanted to be with your friends & that was outside, even in winter. Your bike was your prized possession & while there were bad elements then too, it wasn’t like now. Sad."

That last point, "while there were bad elements then too, it wasn't like now" sentiment came up a lot in the responses. Let's dive into that a bit.

It's easy to look at the past through rose-colored glasses

For the most part, everything people said about those 80s childhoods is true, except this: The world was not safer back then. There weren't fewer "bad elements" and there wasn't less crime.

Around the year 2015, articles started coming out about how children were statistically safer than they'd ever been.

In fact, statistically, the 80s were less safe than now by pretty much every measure. Looking at violent rime statistics from 1960 onward shows that the 80s had significantly higher violent crime rates than we've seen in the 2000s. The idea that Gen X childhoods were carefree with nothing to fear is simply wrong. We just weren't aware of everything there was to fear.

Social media and 24-hour cable news networks put scary things in front of our faces all day every day, giving us a skewed perception of reality. And that's not just conjecture—according to Pew Research, Americans tend to think crime is rising even when it's going down. "In 23 of 27 Gallup surveys conducted since 1993, at least 60% of U.S. adults have said there is more crime nationally than there was the year before, despite the downward trend in crime rates during most of that period."

The folks remembering their free-range childhoods as blissful and safe seem to have forgotten that we started our days pouring milk from cartons that had pictures of missing children on them. A few high-profile abductions and murders of children caused a bit of a missing children panic in the U.S, leading President Reagan to sign the Missing Children Act in 1982 and the Missing Children's Assistance Act in 1984, which founded the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.

But "high-profile" in the 80s meant a spot on the nightly national news and a headline in a newspaper. Most crimes were only reported locally, there as no "going viral online" and it was easy to avoid scary news if you wanted to. We live in a totally different world today, but not in the way people think. We're safer by nearly every measure, from car accidents to infectious disease to violent crime. But we feel less safe, which directly affects how we parent our children.

There was indeed magic in our blissful ignorance

There's something to be said for being unaware of every bad thing that's happening in the world. We may have been less safe in the 80s in actuality, but not knowing that had its perks.

The question is, can we put the genie back in the bottle? Is it possible to give kids an 80s-style childhood in the age of ubiquitous screens and parents being arrested for letting their tweens walk less than a mile from home by themselves?

Societal expectations of what kids can and should do have changed drastically, as have levels of anxiety and fear in general. Parenting styles have shifted toward more involvement and greater attachment, which isn't bad in and of itself but can be taken to an extreme. The neglectful parenting style of the past wasn't ideal and neither is the overprotective style the pendulum swung to.

If we could somehow find a way to give kids the joy of unstructured outdoor exploration of the 80s and the stronger parent-child connections of the present, we might just hit the sweet spot of raising healthy kids. Perhaps the next generation of parents will figure it out.

From Your Site Articles
80s childhood
Parenting

Teenage girl shamed for her ‘distracting’ outfit fights back in a very funny way

“[Because] she has a figure she was told she had to change.”

Photo from Facebook page.

A clever message written on her T-shirt.

A Lawton, Oklahoma, student who goes by the Facebook user name Rose Lynn had the last laugh after being sent home from school for wearing an outfit deemed "distracting." Rose Lynn believes her outfit attracted the attention of school officials because of her figure.

She proved it by posting a photo on Facebook of her modest outfit, which consisted of black leggings, a t-shirt, long cardigan, and boots. In her post, she wrote that she was sent home "because I'm developed farther than the average girl my age," and because she's a "CURVY woman." Rose Lynn also thinks the appropriate response shouldn't have been to tell her to cover up, but to teach boys to "to respect the boundaries of young ladies."

Her father, Lance Miles, agrees with her. "If she was built like a board or as round as a ball she wouldn't have been sent home but [since] she has a figure she was told she had to change," he said in the comments of her Facebook post.

"This is 100 percent on [Lawton Public Schools] because they have left the rule up to interpretation. She has been taught that if you believe in something, do what you must and be prepared for the consequences. She has done that," he continued.

Rose Lynn's post:

"So today I was sent home from class, after being in school for two hours, for my outfit. Because I'm developed farther than the average girl my age, I am required to go home and change... Because I look like a CURVY woman and may distract young boys, I have to miss class and change my outfit.

So once again, society has failed to advocate young ladies, by confining them in a box, where they are stripped from their sense of self respect and self expression, rather than teaching young men to respect the boundaries of young ladies. My response: #Feminism #YoullDistractTheBoys #SocietyIsFailing"
school policy, sexism, women, Oklahoma

The before and after images for following a dress code.

Photo from Facebook page.


On the day Rose Lynn was sent home, she was due to take a 20-minute algebra exam. She asked school officials if she could take the test before changing her outfit, but her request was denied. So the next day, she got her revenge.

Rose Lynn returned to school wearing an oversize t-shirt. On the front she scribbled a quote from school officials in black Sharpie, "It doesn't cover your crotch"; on the back, "You'll distract the boys." That day, Rose Lynn was called to the office and sent home again. This time it wasn't for her outfit but for not wearing her student I.D., which she had left in the classroom after being called to the office.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

From Your Site Articles
women
Golden Years

Study discovers people don't age steadily, but in dramatic bursts at two specific ages

This explains SO much about your 40s.

Photo by Nati/Pexels

If you feel "old" practically overnight, there may be a good reason for that.

Aging is weird. You're trucking along, enjoying your middle-aged life, finally feeling like a real adult, when you look in the mirror one day and gasp. "Where did those wrinkles come from?" "Is that skin on my arm…crepey?!?" "Why am I aching like that?"

Somewhere in your mid-40s, you start noticing obvious signs of aging that seem to arrive overnight. You assume it was a gradual process that you just hadn't noticed, but it sure as heck felt like it happened really fast.

New research indicates that may very well be the case. A study from researchers at Stanford tracked thousands of different molecules in people age 25 to 75 and found that people tend to make two big leaps in aging—one around age 44 and another around age 60. These findings indicate that aging can actually happen in bursts.

“We’re not just changing gradually over time. There are some really dramatic changes,” said senior study author Michael Snyder, Ph.D, geneticist and director of the Center for Genomics and Personalized Medicine at Stanford University. “It turns out the mid-40s is a time of dramatic change, as is the early 60s. And that’s true no matter what class of molecules you look at.”

The researchers assumed the mid-40s changes would be attributed to menopausal or perimenopausal changes in women influencing the overall numbers, but when they separated the results by sex they saw similar changes in men in their 40s.

"“This suggests that while menopause or perimenopause may contribute to the changes observed in women in their mid-40s, there are likely other, more significant factors influencing these changes in both men and women. Identifying and studying these factors should be a priority for future research,” said study author Xiaotao Shen, PhD, a former Stanford Medicine postdoctoral scholar who now teaches at Nanyang Technological University Singapore.

older couple smiling togetherAging happens in bursts, scientists find.Photo by Tristan Le/Pexels

The study included 108 participants who submitted blood and other samples every few months for several years. The scientists tracked age-related changes in 135,000 different molecules—nearly 250 billion distinct data points—to see how aging occurs.

The study may shed light on the reasons for jumps in certain diseases and maladies at certain ages. For the 40-somethings, scientists found significant changes in molecules related to alcohol, caffeine and lipid metabolism; cardiovascular disease; and skin and muscle. For those in their 60s, changes related to carbohydrate and caffeine metabolism, immune regulation, kidney function, cardiovascular disease, and skin and muscle were found.

The study authors did note that lifestyle might play a role in some of these changes. For instance, alcohol metabolism may be influenced by people drinking more heavily in their 40s, which tends to be a period of higher stress for many people. However, the researchers added that these bursts of aging in the mid-40s and early 60s indicate that people may want to pay closer attention to their health around those ages and make lifestyle changes that support greater overall health, such as increasing exercise or limiting alcohol.

The research team plans to study the drivers of these aging bursts to find out why they happen at these ages, but whatever the reasons, it's nice to know that the seemingly sudden onset of age-related woes isn't just in our imaginations.

It's understandable that worry about aging, as physical signs of aging remind us of our own mortality. We also have all kinds of social messaging that tells us youth is ideal and beautiful and old is bad and ugly, so of course we give aging the side-eye. But none of us can avoid aging altogether, so the more positive and healthy we are in our approach to aging is, the better off we'll be, no matter when and to what degree aging hits us.


This story originally appeared in August.

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aging
Parenting

Mom gives back son's perfect attendance award to prove a simple point

"What on earth are we teaching our kids about value and worth?"

CDC/Unsplash and JE Theriot/Flickr

You remember what it was like as a kid.

At the end of every school year, there was a ceremony, or at least an announcement of some kind, where a handful of students would receive an award for "Perfect Attendance." There was much applause and admiration for these heroic kids.

Maybe you got one of these awards yourself. Maybe you simply sat there feeling strangely bad about the one time you had a cold and had to stay home. If only you had gutted through it, you could have had some of that applause, too.

Well, one mom has had enough of perfect attendance awards. In fact, when her son's school offered him one, they turned it down.

school bus on pathway Photo by Denisse Leon on Unsplash

In a post on her blog, U.K. mom and author Rachel Wright wrote about the experience and her reasoning behind the decision.

It might sound strange at first, but she makes a lot of great points. Her biggest gripe? Kids can't control who gets sick and when:

"In this family you are not shamed for ill health, vulnerability or weakness. In this house you are not encouraged to spread germs when you are not well. In this house we look after ourselves and the weakest amongst us," she writes.

"Can you imagine a work place that at the end of each week marked out all the people who hadn't been sick? Where all the departments with the least number of people off were rewarded — in front of everyone else?

"It happens in schools all the time.

"Can you imagine what kind of atmosphere that would create with people who had days off because of bereavement, mental health problem or chronic conditions? What on earth are we teaching our kids about value and worth? What are we teaching them about looking out for each other and looking after the sick or disabled in our community?"

Wright goes on: Most school-aged kids have very little control over whether they get to school.

female teacher standing in front of children Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Policies that reward kids for zero absences unfairly favor those of more privileged households.

After all, it's a heck of a lot easier to get to school amid rain and snow in Mommy's 4-wheel-drive SUV versus the public bus.

And kids with health problems or chronic illnesses? They don't stand a chance.

"He had no control over his attendance," Wright wrote. "I took him to school and it would have been my decision to keep him off. I should get the reward (or not) for his attendance."

The blog post has gone viral, with comments pouring in from parents around the world who share Wright's frustration for this arbitrary form of celebration.

"The worst time was in primary school when [my daughter] repeatedly 'lost' her class the class award, and was bullied because of it," wrote one mom.

"In a work place, this would never be acceptable, but we allow this to ... happen for our children," added another commenter.

While it's not a bad thing to celebrate kids for commitment and hard work at school, we ought to give some more thought to how we do it and whether we want our kids growing up believing that never taking a day off is something to aspire to.

The debate on the pros and cons of perfect attendance awards rages on, even in 2024.

Though anecdotally it feels like they're beginning to go out of style. After all, data shows that awards and certificates don't have a positive effect on absenteeism — and in fact can have the opposite effect!

In a world that lived through the 2020 COVID pandemic and lockdowns, it seems much smarter to let kids know: It's OK to take care of yourself when you're sick, it's important to stay home to stop the spread of germs, and yes, the occasional day off for your mental health isn't going to hurt anyone.

Kudos to Rachel Wright for kicking off a conversation that's finally beginning to make a difference.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.

From Your Site Articles
Mental Health

Quick thinking waitress had a gut feeling a boy was being abused. So she gave him a sign.

She's a hero.

via WFTV

Server Flavaine Carvalho was waiting on her last table of the night at Mrs. Potatohead's, a family restaurant in Orlando, Florida when she noticed something peculiar. The parents of an 11-year-old boy were ordering food but told her that the child would be having his dinner later that night at home. She glanced at the boy who was wearing a hoodie, glasses, and a face mask and noticed a scratch between his eyes.

A closer look revealed a bruise on his temple.

So Carvalho walked away from the table and wrote a note that said, "Do you need help?" and showed it to the boy from an angle where his parents couldn't see.

Mr.s Potatohead's in Orlando, Florida

The boy shook his head, no. "I knew it that he was afraid," she said.

Carvalho made two more attempts until the boy nodded yes.

The server then called the owner of the restaurant to let her know that she was going to call the police on the boy's parents.

“SEE SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING: An Orlando waitress saw a family withholding food from a boy at a table. She noticed bruises on his body and created this sign to secretly ask the child if he needed help. When he signaled "Yes" she called us. The stepfather & mother were arrested.”

The police arrived and arrested the boy's father

on one count of third-degree child abuse. His mother Kristen Swann was arrested with two counts of child neglect. A four-year-old girl was taken from the family by authorities. They say she showed no signs of abuse.

Detectives spoke with the boy and learned his parents frequently withheld food from him as a form of punishment. He was 20 pounds underweight. After searching his body, they discovered that he was nearly covered in bruises.

His father had recently beat him with a broomstick and back scratcher.

via Orlando PD

The boy told detectives that he was once hung upside down from his ankles in a door frame by his father and had been restrained by being strapped to a furniture dolly.

"To be honest what this child had gone through was torture," Detective Erin Lawler said. "There was no justification for it in any realm of the world. I'm a mother and seeing what that 11-year-old had to go through, it shocks your soul."

Carvalho's quick thinking and bravery may have saved the lives of two children.

"This could have been a homicide situation if she had not have intervened," Orlando Police Chief Orlando Rolon said.

"The lesson here for all of us is to recognize when we see something that isn't right to act on it… This saved the life of a child," he added.

The restaurant's owner, Rafaela Cabede, hopes that Carvalho's bravery inspires others to look out for signs of abuse as well.

"We understand that this has to encourage other people that when you see something, say something," Cabede said. "We know when we see a situation that is wrong, we know what's the right thing to do. We know that speaking up is the right thing to do. But it takes more than acknowledging it. It takes courage.


This article originally appeared on 01.15.21

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