upworthy
Democracy

Upset that a friend voted differently than you? Expert shares how to heal and reconnect.

Ignoring people won't solve the problem.

2024 election, mental health, trump, harris

Americans voting in the 2024 election

The 2024 election was an emotional rollercoaster for millions of Americans. Those who voted for Trump have reason to celebrate, while those who supported Harris or a third-party candidate are probably deflated and need a while to recover emotionally.

The election was notable because there was a significant shift in voters from the Democratic to the Republican ticket over the 2020 election. So many people may now find themselves on opposite ends of the aisle with friends or loved ones with whom they previously agreed.

A lot of folks have to deal with the fact that their friends or family members voted differently than them, and, honestly, it can sting a bit, especially when hot-button issues are on the table, such as women’s rights, immigration, the economy, health care, LGBTQ rights and more.

2024 election, mental health, trump, harrisA woman displaying her "I voted" stickervia Flickr/Bethraebel

Regardless of who you voted for, you may feel a twinge of animosity toward a loved one who chose someone different and may not be sure how to get over your feelings. Upworthy spoke with Jessica McCarthy, Psy.D., a clinical neuropsychologist, clinical psychologist and certified school psychologist, to help our readers repair their relationships after the election.

McCarthy is also the Founder and Clinical Director of Elements Psychological Services.

“What’s interesting is that regardless of the political spectrum, people’s emotions are the same—frustrated, angry, passionate, betrayed, dismayed, scared, hopeful, determined, bewildered,” McCarthy told Upworthy. “People’s personal values and viewpoints are something that they hold near and dear to them—and if it’s a deal-breaker issue, the reactions are more extreme in scale if the opposing view is from a loved one.”

In the aftermath of the election, you may want to distance yourself from the people who voted differently than you, and McCarthy believes that’s acceptable. However, it would be best to communicate how you’re feeling, instead of mysteriously dropping out of their lives without notice.

“Sometimes, people need space to sit and process—this, again, can be done through communicating about readiness and willingness to connect,” McCarthy told Upworthy. “Space and silence should never be weaponized in a relationship, but that need for space can also be honored in a way through effective communication about limits and when both parties can reconvene and communicate.”

2024 election, mental health, trump, harrisA man displaying her "I voted" sticker.via Jimmy Zo/Flickr

Instead of disappearing from your friends’ lives altogether, text them, saying, “I need time to sort through my emotions after the election. I'm looking forward to talking with you when I am ready.”

McCarthy says that maintaining relationships with people you disagree with can be challenging because people need to have their viewpoints heard. It can be stifling for people to feel forced to keep their mouths shut around loved ones.

However, some relationships can thrive when firm rules of engagement are in place. For example, you and your friend can agree that you shouldn’t talk about politics to preserve the relationship.

“I have plenty of patients in my practice who have friends who have differing stances in the aforementioned areas, and the health of the relationship is determined by the ‘rules of engagement’—either directly or indirectly agreed upon rules that serve as guidelines for how to navigate these topics (and often, it’s agreed upon not to discuss them),” McCarthy says. “These relationships work because there is tremendous value and enjoyment in other areas of the relationship from which both parties mutually benefit.”

There’s nothing wrong with feeling let down by a loved one who voted differently in the election. People’s political views are closely tied to their moral values, so it’s understandable to have big emotions over people you love making a different value judgment. The key to keeping the relationship going on a new, healthy path is to share how you feel, listen to your loved ones and agree on the best path forward. “Anytime there has been a rupture in a relationship, there needs to be communication as to how to proceed and what repair might look like,” McCarthy says.

Conservation

A juice company dumped orange peels in a national park. This is what it looks like today.

12,000 tons of food waste and 28 years later, this forest looks totally different.

Image via Dan Jansen

A before and after view of the experiment

In 1997, ecologists Daniel Janzen and Winnie Hallwachs approached an orange juice company in Costa Rica with an off-the-wall idea. In exchange for donating a portion of unspoiled, forested land to the Área de Conservación Guanacaste — a nature preserve in the country's northwest — the park would allow the company to dump its discarded orange peels and pulp, free of charge, in a heavily grazed, largely deforested area nearby.

One year later, one thousand trucks poured into the national park, offloading over 12,000 metric tons of sticky, mealy, orange compost onto the worn-out plot. The site was left untouched and largely unexamined for over a decade. A sign was placed to ensure future researchers could locate and study it.

16 years later, Janzen dispatched graduate student Timothy Treuer to look for the site where the food waste was dumped.

Treuer initially set out to locate the large placard that marked the plot — and failed.


natural wonders, nature, recycling, conservation, environment, oranges, orange peels, dumpsThe first deposit of orange peels in 1996.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"It's a huge sign, bright yellow lettering. We should have been able to see it," Treuer says. After wandering around for half an hour with no luck, he consulted Janzen, who gave him more detailed instructions on how to find the plot.

When he returned a week later and confirmed he was in the right place, Treuer was floored. Compared to the adjacent barren former pastureland, the site of the food waste deposit was "like night and day."


Environment, natural wonder, natural miracles, nature, oranges, planet, conservation The site of the orange peel deposit (L) and adjacent pastureland (R).Photo by Leland Werden.


"It was just hard to believe that the only difference between the two areas was a bunch of orange peels. They look like completely different ecosystems," he explains.

The area was so thick with vegetation he still could not find the sign.

Treuer and a team of researchers from Princeton University studied the site over the course of the following three years.

The results, published in the journal "Restoration Ecology," highlight just how completely the discarded fruit parts assisted the area's turnaround.

According to the Princeton School of International Public Affairs, the experiment resulted in a "176 percent increase in aboveground biomass — or the wood in the trees — within the 3-hectare area (7 acres) studied."

The ecologists measured various qualities of the site against an area of former pastureland immediately across the access road used to dump the orange peels two decades prior. Compared to the adjacent plot, which was dominated by a single species of tree, the site of the orange peel deposit featured two dozen species of vegetation, most thriving.


natural wonder, nature, environment, conservation, oranges, orange peelsLab technician Erik Schilling explores the newly overgrown orange peel plot.Photo by Tim Treuer.


In addition to greater biodiversity, richer soil, and a better-developed canopy, researchers discovered a tayra (a dog-sized weasel) and a giant fig tree three feet in diameter, on the plot.

"You could have had 20 people climbing in that tree at once and it would have supported the weight no problem," says Jon Choi, co-author of the paper, who conducted much of the soil analysis. "That thing was massive."

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Recent evidence suggests that secondary tropical forests — those that grow after the original inhabitants are torn down — are essential to helping slow climate change.

In a 2016 study published in Nature, researchers found that such forests absorb and store atmospheric carbon at roughly 11 times the rate of old-growth forests.

Treuer believes better management of discarded produce — like orange peels — could be key to helping these forests regrow.

In many parts of the world, rates of deforestation are increasing dramatically, sapping local soil of much-needed nutrients and, with them, the ability of ecosystems to restore themselves.

Meanwhile, much of the world is awash in nutrient-rich food waste. In the United States, up to half of all produce in the United States is discarded. Most currently ends up in landfills.


natural wonder, nature, conservation, environment, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe site after a deposit of orange peels in 1998.Photo by Dan Janzen.


"We don't want companies to go out there will-nilly just dumping their waste all over the place, but if it's scientifically driven and restorationists are involved in addition to companies, this is something I think has really high potential," Treuer says.

The next step, he believes, is to examine whether other ecosystems — dry forests, cloud forests, tropical savannas — react the same way to similar deposits.

Two years after his initial survey, Treuer returned to once again try to locate the sign marking the site.

Since his first scouting mission in 2013, Treuer had visited the plot more than 15 times. Choi had visited more than 50. Neither had spotted the original sign.

In 2015, when Treuer, with the help of the paper's senior author, David Wilcove, and Princeton Professor Rob Pringle, finally found it under a thicket of vines, the scope of the area's transformation became truly clear.



natural wonder, nature, environment, environmental miracle, planet, oranges, orange peelsThe sign after clearing away the vines.Photo by Tim Treuer.


"It's a big honking sign," Choi emphasizes.

19 years of waiting with crossed fingers had buried it, thanks to two scientists, a flash of inspiration, and the rind of an unassuming fruit.

This article originally appeared eight years ago.

Nature

Florida zoo captures adorable moment when a newborn baby sloth meets his dad

If you thought adults sloths were cute, wait 'til you see this baby.

Photo from Upworthy Library

A proud sloth dad was caught on camera.

Teddy, the two-toed sloth, has become a proud papa, and thanks to a video posted by the St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park, we all get to witness his adorable reunion with his newborn son. Mama sloth, aka Grizzly, gave birth to their healthy little one in February 2022, delighting more than 3,000 people on Facebook. Mama sloth was probably happy to give birth because a sloth's gestational period is an entire year.

The video, posted to the Florida zoo’s YouTube page, shows Grizzly slowly climbing toward her mate, who is at first blissfully unaware as he continues munching on leaves. Typical dad. Teddy quickly kicks into love mode once he sees his precious cub, however. Pretty soon it’s nothing but a sweet nose nuzzle fest. Be still, my sloth-loving heart!

"Special Delivery! We have some big news to tell you: Grizzly had a baby! Grizzly and Teddy (the father) are Hoffman’s two-toed Sloths, and the family is doing well," the St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park announced on Facebook.



As with most mammals, male sloths don’t typically care for their young. Usually, a sloth mama will go it alone, spending up to six months with the little one clinging to her chest as she traverses the trees. Eventually she’ll spend time teaching the cub to climb, forage and even do the “poop dance” (yes, it’s a real thing with sloths). However, the zoo is allowing the father to be involved in the baby's upbringing if he so chooses.

"But since that is how they've elected to, we felt it was really important to keep them here that way," a zoo curator said. "Mom and baby need time to bond together, and Teddy, very smartly, decided to give them some space." In a follow-up video, Sarah, one of the zoo’s bird and mammal curators, praised Teddy for “very smartly” knowing when to give Grizzly and baby their “much needed space.” Healthy boundaries at their finest.


The birth of the baby sloth is also notable because of the parents' advanced ages. At 37, Grizzly is one of the oldest sloths to give birth and 47-year-old male Teddy is one of the oldest sloths ever recorded. The birth was the couple's fourth child. They were transferred to St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park after being transferred from Busch Gardens in Tampa Bay. The Hoffmann's two-toed sloths can be found in tropical rainforests across Central America, Northern South America, Peru, and Brazil.


sloth, two-toed sloth, costa rica, la selva biological station, trees, choloepus hoffmanni, A two-toed sloth in Coasta Rica. via Geoff Gallice/Eikimedia Commons

The family currently lives at an exhibit in the park known as Sloth Landing, where visitors can get up close with the animals while learning about the conservation of rainforest animals. "The Rainforest Encounter places you up close and personal with the sloths, even providing opportunities to touch these shy animals. A brief introduction will provide an overview of the species’ habitats, behaviors, and diet, and you’ll also learn about the conservation work being done at the Alligator Farm to protect sloths throughout the world," it says on the zoo's website.

It looks like this sloth family of three will continue cuddling away at their sanctuary, and the internet is here for it.

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This article originally appeared three years ago.

Norm was only in his 30s?

Ever look at your parents' high school yearbooks and think people looked so much older back then? All of the teenagers look like they’re in their mid-30s and the teachers who are 50 look like they’re 80. When we watch older movies, even those from the 1980s, the teenagers appear to be a lot older as well. Why is it that they looked so much older? Was life harder? Did people act more mature? Did they spend more time outdoors and less time playing video games? Is it their sense of fashion? Were they all smokers?

Educator Michael Stevens, who runs the super-popular Vsauce YouTube channel, explains the phenomenon in a video called, “Did people used to look older?” In it, he explains that people in the past appear a lot older due to retrospective aging.

This is how it works: when we see people in the past, they are wearing outdated styles that we associate with older people; therefore, we think they have aged rapidly. For example, a teenager in the 1950s may have been in fashion while wearing thick Buddy Holly-style glasses.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging productsBuddy Holly was 20 years old in this photo. upload.wikimedia.org

But as people age, they tend to cling to the fashion of their youth. So many people of that generation continued to wear the Buddy Holly-style glasses into their 50s. So when younger people see those glasses they see them as old people's glasses and not a hip kid from the '50s.

So in the photo from the '50s, the teen appears to look a lot older because our perspective has been tainted by time.

anti-aging, youth, why do i look older, how to look younger, treatments for looking younger, anti-aging products30 going on 60…media3.giphy.com

But it isn’t all just an illusion. Stevens also points out that people did age faster back in the day due to differences in nutrition, lifestyle and medicine. In addition, he also does a deep dive on how a person's name can affect their appearance, referencing the Dorian Gray effect, which theorizes that cultural stereotypes linked to a name come to be written on the faces of their bearers, as well as the name matching effect, in which people whose faces "match" their names tend to be better perceived.

Basically, this 22-minute video is chalked full of fascinating tidbits. Give it a watch below.

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It might be worth noting that, in addition to healthier lifestyle options, younger generations have more access to anti-aging procedures than ever before. "Tweakments," like fillers and botox, are less expensive and more readily available than ever—not to mention every anti-aging cream, serum, and cleanser known to man. And many millennials and Gen Zers take advantage of that, whether prompted by selfie anxiety, a growing obsession with youth, or some other motivation.

Plus, millennial and Gen Z fashion often honors their inner child. Nostalgic cartoon tees, colorful prints, cutesy accessories, etc. Granted, under the retrospective aging theory, even those styles could one day look dated, but they are so youthful that it's hard to imagine that being the case. That said, can't wait to see bunch of geezers sporting those broccoli haircuts.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

abbywrenartistry/Instagram

Young girl with alopecia removes her hat in public for first time.

Makeup has the incredible ability to transform and empower. For makeup artist Abby Wren (@abbywrenartistry), her art and alopecia diagnosis changed the life of another special young girl with alopecia named Elyssa.

In a touching video shared by Wren, Elyssa shared the heartwarming story about how the two connected during a one-on-one glam session.

"Today was Elyssa’s FIRST time bald in public!! 🥹," she captioned the post. "I am SO incredibly proud of her courage all day long, and so grateful we caught this special moment together where she bravely pulled off her hat for the first time around other people."

In the video, Elyssa sits across from Wren as she dips her brush into her makeup palette to begin. The two chat, and Wren asks Elyssa if she wants to take her hat off so she can have more space and access to apply while also encouraging her not to be ashamed of her lack of hair. "I don't know. I'm not sure," Elyssa replies wearily. With love and understanding, Wren responds, "You know that it's totally a safe space if you want to take it off."

Although she's encouraged, Elyssa is still unsure. So, Wren adds, "Feel it out. Feel it out. No pressure either way." The man behind the camera comments on how cool Elyssa's brightly colored sweatshirt is, and Wren agrees. "I know, it's so cool. I love it," she says.

Without a moment's notice, Elyssa decides to take off her hat and proudly display her beautiful, bald head. "Yay! My girl, now we're twins," Wren says. "High-five! Girl, I'm so proud of you. That's really, really rad." In a caption within the video, Wren writes, "me: trying to play it cool and not overwhelm her, but freaking out inside. SO proud of her!"

Wren continues to chat with Elyssa as she applies neon green eyeshadow to her. Elyssa replies, "Thank you!" And Wren cannot contain her joy. "We're twins now! So cool! I love it!" The video pans to the two posing together after her glam sesh is complete. Wren added a mushroom and frog to Elyssa's cheeks for a cool-girl final look.

In the caption, Wren shared more about how her interaction with Elyssa impacted her mom. "Her sweet mom and I had an emotional chat later and reflected on how powerful this Alopecia community is, and how important it is to CELEBRATE being different!" she added. "If this brave 10 year old can face her fears, you can too. Forever inspired by these amazing babes! 💗"

And her viewers are ecstatic about the uplifting moment between the two:

"This is incredible. You could just see her confidence grow as she sat with you. I bet she holds onto this interaction for the rest of her life 🩷"

"You are a sweetheart! She trusted you with her insecurities and you helped her be brave. I love this. 💞👏👏."

"Way to go Elyssa!! You are so beautiful and your courage has me in tears. My baby boy also has AT and he owns it, you are an inspiration 🥰."

History (Education)

What the 'gym bros' of the 19th century used as workout equipment was wild

Our understanding of exercise physiology has come a long way since the 1800s.

Swedish physician Dr. Gustav Zander designed dozens of exercise machines in the mid-1800s.

In the 2020s, you can't scroll through social media without seeing someone's workout photos or videos from the gym (and thanks to the algorithm, if you so much as pause to look at one of them, you'll be fed gobs more of them—good times!). Modern gym culture includes all manner of equipment—barbells, dumbbells, kettlebells, treadmills, stair machines, ellipticals, Nautilus machines, Pilates reformers, bikes for spinning, and more.

exercise, exercising, working out, workout gear, gymgym GIFGiphy

While we know that organized fitness goes back thousands of years (hello, Ancient Greek Olympics), we might assume exercise machines are an ultramodern phenomenon. But their mechanical predecessors go back nearly two centuries at least. In fact, Swedish physician Dr. Gustav Zander (1835–1920) created a whole gym full of machinery for exercise in his Stockholm Mechanico-Therapeutic Institute in the mid-1800s.

Dr. Zander opened his first institute in 1865 with 27 machines, and by 1877 there were 53 different Zander machines in five towns in Sweden. His work was funded by the Swedish government and his gyms were free for all to use. Soon, however, he began sending his machinery to Russia, England, Germany, and Argentina. After winning a gold medal at the 1876 Centennial Exhibition in Philadelphia for his exercise machine designs, demand for his equipment in America grew and Zander became one of the first international fitness entrepreneurs.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, health, wellnessOne of the predecessors of modern gym equipmentthe-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Zander's “mechanotherapy" machines had familiar fitness concepts behind them, such as resistance training and muscle group isolating exercises. In the photos of them, we can see how some of them worked, while others result in more questions than answers.

(One of the biggest questions is did people really work out in long dresses and 3-piece suits? Or were these simply photos taken for demonstration purposes? That would still be hysterical—imagine someone in a suit or long dress trying to market a modern workout machine.)

Let's take a closer look at some of Zander's machines:

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, fitness equipmentBicep curls, anyone?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This machine looks pretty straight-forward. Aside from the wooden base and ornate metalwork, it doesn't look a whole lot different from a modern arm curl machine. It's not clear whether or how you can adjust the weights, however.

exercise equipment 19th century, dr. gustav zander, health, fitness, gym, exercisePrecursor to the stationary bike?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This pedal-pushing machine looks like it could be something akin to a stationary bike. Look how pretty those "wheels" are. Seriously, what's up with the buttoned-up vest and tie, though? Did people not sweat when they exercised in the 19th century?

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, fitnessSomething like horseback riding?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This machine is supposed to simulate riding a horse. Except without stirrups, not sure how that actually gets you the physical fitness benefits of horseback riding. Perhaps it's about maintaining balance or stability? Simply the movement and vibration? Hard to say.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, exercise Clearly isolating the foot and/or leg. For what, though?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

This one looks complicated. And confusing. It doesn't really look like a leg press, but maybe it is? Press and rotate at the same time? Would love to see this one actually in being used.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, health, wellnessWhat does this machine even do?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

I'm sure Dr. Zander knew what he was doing, at least based on the understanding of exercise physiology at the time, but what the heck is this machine? There's so much going on here with the wheels and the lever and whatever's going on behind him. No clue.

Apparently, at least some of Zander's equipment differed from today's technology in that they were marketed as passive activities—in other words, the machines were supposedly doing the work for you. You just sit or stand or lie there and let the machine do its thing. Some were driven by steam, gasoline, or electricity rather than the human body to produce vibration and massage, producing more of a physical therapy effect than a muscle-building or cardiovascular workout.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitnessWomen also demonstrated Dr. Zander's exercise machinery.the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Despite the fact that some of Dr. Zander's inventions look more like torture devices than workout machines, he could rightfully be called the father of gym equipment. It's pretty fascinating to see how far we've come in learning about how the human body works, what we need for optimal fitness, and how innovative design has evolved over the centuries to help people hone their strength and physical fitness.

exercise equipment, dr. gustav zander, history of fitness, exercise, health and wellnessDo we even want to know what this machine does?the-public-domain-review.imgix.net

Perhaps most importantly, it's a relief that we do all of that in cool, comfortable athletic gear now instead of wool suits and thick petticoats. Yeesh.

See more photos of Dr. Zander's exercise machines here.