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How to protect yourself from phishing, from experts who deal with it every day.

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Ever wonder what it's like to be hacked? Sarah Jeong did. So naturally, she decided to ask someone to hack her.

Jeong isn't just a random thrill-seeker — she's a respected technology journalist and lawyer, and she knew exactly what she was getting into when she recruited her friend Cooper Quintin of the Electronic Frontier Foundation to help her out. She wrote about her experience in GQ.

All it took was a couple of hours and some readily available tools, and Jeong joined the approximately 12% of the population who have fallen for a hack.


But even before she was successfully hacked — and don't worry, we'll get to that! — both Jeong and Quintin discovered some important truths about the world of online safety and what it takes to infiltrate it.

Here are just a few lessons from experts that we can all benefit from:

[rebelmouse-image 19531566 dam="1" original_size="2048x1536" caption="Photo by Blogtrepreneur/Flickr." expand=1]Photo by Blogtrepreneur/Flickr.

1. Most hacking isn't done by master "Matrix" coders.

For most people, "hacking" tends to evoke one of two images: a stereotypically out-of-shape nerd in their parents' basement or a sleek, leather-clad cyberpunk in a Guy Fawkes mask who moonlights as an extra on a Wachowski movie.

But in reality, most of what we call "hacking" is actually "phishing."  In fact, last year, then-Secretary of Homeland Security Jeh Johnson said that phishing is the threat his department fears most.

[rebelmouse-image 19531567 dam="1" original_size="1024x559" caption="THIS IS NOT WHAT HACKERS LOOK LIKE. Except when they do, which is sometimes. Photo by Vincent Diamonte/Flickr." expand=1]THIS IS NOT WHAT HACKERS LOOK LIKE. Except when they do, which is sometimes. Photo by Vincent Diamonte/Flickr.

2. Phishing is a type of scam that disguises itself as something trustworthy.

It can be an email, phone call, or text message, and it then tricks you into giving up your passwords, credit card numbers, and more. All it takes are some clever social skills plus some free online tools used by information security professionals that, technically, anyone can use. (A little coding knowledge doesn't hurt, though.)

3. Many hackers are savvier than you might think.

It doesn't matter if you have the best anti-virus software installed on your computer and run daily checks for malware along with Ghostery and ad block to keep your online browsing extra-safe. Don't get me wrong — viruses and malware are still dangerous. But phishing isn't about computers. It's about people. And that's a lot harder to protect against.

"Phishing isn’t (just) about finding a person who is technically naive," Cory Doctorow, a sci-fi author, journalist, and technology activist told Locus magazine.  As savvy as he is, even he fell for a phishing hack back in 2010. "It’s about attacking the seemingly impregnable defenses of the technically sophisticated until you find a single, incredibly unlikely, short-lived crack in the wall."

"It’s a matter of being caught out in a moment of distraction and of unlikely circumstance." In other words, it can happen to anyone.

[rebelmouse-image 19531568 dam="1" original_size="1200x624" caption="Smile! I'm stealing your identity! Image via Pixnio." expand=1]Smile! I'm stealing your identity! Image via Pixnio.

4. The terrible typos and grammar in some phishing schemes are intentional.

You're probably familiar with the classic "Nigerian prince" phishing scheme, where some kind of foreign dignitary emails you and offers you a ton of money to help facilitate the transfer of their new bajillion-dollar inheritance. You also probably know that these emails are famously riddled with grammatical errors and totally implausible premises.

What you might not know, however, is that these "mistakes" are done on purpose in order to target the most gullible people. That way, reports Business Insider, the scammers don't have to waste their time trying to persuade rational skeptics to give up their bank account information.

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5. To hack a specific person, all a hacker needs is social media.

You know those silly memes where you find your "porn star name" (or whatever) by using the name of your first pet and the street you grew up on?

Now think about those security questions you had to answer for your online bank account — things like, oh, the name of your first pet, the street you grew up on, or your mom's maiden name.

Yeah. See the connection there? If a hacker wants to social-engineer their way into your bank account, all they need to do is poke around your public accounts to find those little bits of information. These targeted attacks are called "spearphishing," and they're why Doctorow recommends that people "only use Facebook to convince your friends to communicate with you somewhere other than Facebook."

[rebelmouse-image 19531571 dam="1" original_size="1280x856" caption="Image from Pixabay." expand=1]Image from Pixabay.

6. Be careful what you open — even when it's sent by someone you know.

Jeong was hacked after she clicked on a malicious link made to look like it was sent from someone she knew.

To hack her, Quintin just had to scour Jeong's online presence until he found an acquaintance who could plausibly email her. He made a fake email address — using that person's real-life profile picture and everything — and that was all it took to get Jeong to give up her information.

Fake Google Docs scams, like the one she fell for, are increasingly common. In these cases, the target receives a phishing email that looks like a standard invitation to Google Docs sent from a trustworthy source — except that both the sender and the link are actually malicious frauds. This link will bring you to a landing page that resembles the standard Google password screen or bank login page you thought you were clicking on, and the hacker can use that to capture whatever password or personal information you enter into the false form.

7. Double-check your URLs.

Always make sure you're really on the website that you think you are before you enter any sensitive information.

How do you tell the difference? Generally speaking, the domain name should look like "[blank].google.com" or "bankofamerica.com/[blank]." If it's something hyphenated like "accounts-drive-google.com" or "boa-accounts-login.com," well, you should probably think twice about it.

(Another helpful tip is to look for SSL certificates, which usually appear as a lock or green text in your browser bar — but even that's not totally reliable.)

[rebelmouse-image 19531572 dam="1" original_size="1280x850" caption="What is real? What is fake? Image from Pixabay." expand=1]What is real? What is fake? Image from Pixabay.

8. You should definitely use two-step authentication.

I hate to break it to you, but your p@$$w0rd probably isn't very safe. The least you can do, according to CNET, is turn on two-step authentication. That way, every time you log in to an unfamiliar device, you'll get a text message with a secret code just to make sure it's you — because even if someone gets your password, they probably don't have your phone, too.

Unless they, um, literally walked into the AT&T store and charmed a sales rep into changing your phone number over to their phone. Which happens.

9. And use a password manager.

If you want to be extra extra safe, use a password manager such as LastPass, then set up a DiceWare password like "correct horse battery staple" (or some of these other great ones recommended by the Intercept) that are incredibly easy to remember but next-to-impossible for hackers or computers to crack.

[rebelmouse-image 19531573 dam="1" original_size="1280x959" caption="Image from Pixabay." expand=1]Image from Pixabay.

10. Remember the greatest flaw in your internet security is the trusting nature of other people.

A trusting customer service rep can easily compromise you without realizing it. Your friend who mentions you on Facebook can do the same.

Heck, my wife has a fairly gender-ambiguous name, and I can tell you from personal experience how easy it is to call up the bank and pretend I'm her — even when I have to charm my way around a security question about her high school mascot. Which, yes, I've done.

As Jeong wrote, "Successful social engineers are not just perfectly capable of interacting with human beings — they are talented manipulators who take advantage of our willingness to trust our colleagues, friends, and family."

"You can turn your digital life into Fort Knox and still be undone by an overly trusting salesperson behind a desk."

[rebelmouse-image 19531574 dam="1" original_size="1280x851" caption="Basic rule: Always look over your shoulder. Photo by Arthur Harry Chaudary/Wikimedia Commons." expand=1]Basic rule: Always look over your shoulder. Photo by Arthur Harry Chaudary/Wikimedia Commons.

There's no way to protect yourself from every possible online vulnerability. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't try!

As we've seen, the power of the internet can used for good or evil. All it takes is one trusting click, and even the savviest security professionals can find themselves compromised.

The best you can do is be smart and pay attention. A tiny bit of paranoid skepticism will save you a lot of time, stress, and energy in the long run, and that'll free you up to enjoy all the wonderful things that the internet has to offer. Trust me.

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."



The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

Photo credits: @eliapocalypse (screenshot), Abdullah Ghazanfar (photo)

Simple acts of kindness are sometimes the most impactful.

When Abdullah Ghazanfar snapped a picture of Mt. Fuji through the window of a Japanese bullet train, he had no idea his photo would bring joy to millions of people. Considering the fact that it's one of the most photographed mountains in the world, a snapshot of Mt. Fuji taken quickly through the tiny window of a moving train doesn’t seem particularly noteworthy, but it’s not the famous peak that makes the photo so special. It’s the adorable couple ducking down below the window so Ghazanfar could take it in the first place.

“I was on the shinkansen coming back to Awaji island, where I live, after spending New Years in Tokyo,” Ghazanfar tells Upworthy. “[The couple] saw me taking a picture and then ducked down so I could get a better shot. I would've properly come forward and zoomed in, but didn't want them to be down there for too long, so just quickly snapped the picture and said thank you. Showed it to them and they had a laugh and really liked it too.”

Ghazanfar sent the photo to his best friend, who shared a screenshot of his text on X with the caption, “I think this is one of the best things I have ever seen.”

Clearly she wasn’t the only one to think that. The screenshot went viral on X and has since gone viral on multiple social media platforms, with people raving over the wholesome moment.

"This is the sweetest thing I've seen this week!!!"

"It’s their smiles for me. They were so happy to do it."

"I like them more than Mt Fuji."

"Their wholesomeness is more beautiful than the mountain."

"They are the view."

""Seriously even I want to thank these guys. 😍🙌"

People also shared how they'd experienced similar kindnesses when traveling in Japan.

"After 2+ years in Japan, I can say that pretty much sums up my experience. ❤️"

"Just came back from Japan. Japanese are the kindest people I have ever met. 🥺"

"As someone who visited Japan, I can vouch for how darling the people were. 😍"

"Your experience reflects so many interactions we had with the Japanese when we visited their beautiful country. Strangers always so helpful, generous and kind!"

"This is why I love Japan so much 😍"

Going viral on social media wasn’t Ghazanfar’s nor his friend’s intent. They were just sharing a lovely moment of genuine human kindness, but that authenticity is part of what makes it so wholesome. Anyone can make a manufactured image for clicks, but this was a spontaneously captured act of kindness and then shared just for the joy of it. Things like this happen every day all over the world, so on the one hand it isn’t something extraordinary. But these kinds of simple interactions are powerful reminders of humanity’s positive side—reminders we all need, especially on social media.


Ghazanfar says he’s still looking for the couple and that he puts out a call on every share that tags him, in the hopes that he can check in with them about the photo going viral. (If you recognize this couple, let us know!)

“I’m glad the picture is out there making [people] smile,” says Ghazanfar. “And I just really hope I can get some real confirmation from the old couple involved that they're happy with it, since I really didn't think the picture would get this out of hand. But I guess it belongs to the internet now.”

Just imaging this sweet couple in Japan who either have no idea of the delight they’ve brought the world or who have chosen to remain anonymously kind strangers is enough to make you smile, isn’t it?

"It was always you."

We don’t often meet the love of our life in fifth grade. But for Simon Jenkins and Peyton Wynn, romantic destiny struck early.

At the ripe old age of 11 years old, Simon and Peyton met at Johnson Elementary School in Pinson, Alabama, where they sat together in Patti Hathorn’s class. Their relationship continued to grow with each passing year, lasting even after graduation. Ten years later Simon and Peyton both turned 21, and they're still each other’s special someone.

boy and girl in swimsuits A photo of Peyton and Simon, already in love.scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Fitting, then, that 10 years later, Simon and Peyton would celebrate their enduring love by getting engaged where it all began.

WVTM 13 anchor Rick Karle shared that Simon's mother Traci, “an event planner with a flair for the artistic,” suggested the nostalgic setting for his 2022 proposal. Getting Simon’s approval, she quickly laid out handcrafted signs, flowers and candles, making everything look extra special for the sweet moment.

A couple at their proposal

Who knew a classroom could be so romantic?

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The next part of the surprise would be entirely up to Simon. He told WVTM that the ruse had been getting a call from Traci as the couple made their way to a dinner date in celebration of their 10-year anniversary. She had “forgotten something at her PTA meeting at Johnson Elementary School,” and pleaded for them to go retrieve it. Nice one, mom.

Simon and Peyton made their way to the elementary school and found themselves in the lavish display. “You should have seen Peyton’s face when she walked into that classroom,” Simon told WVTM.

Judging by the photos alone, the proposal seemed to be something out of a Hallmark movie.

Couple get engaged in classroom

Spoiler alert: She said yes

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For Peyton, it was the surprise of a lifetime. “I finally got to say yes to the love of my life. It was like something out of a dream,” the bride-to-be told People.

To make the moment that much sweeter, their fifth grade teacher was also there. How’s that for a satisfying full circle moment?

Patti Hathorn (now Patti Armstrong Hagwood) made her own endearing Facebook post, which read:

“For any teacher that is asked or wonders ‘Why we do what we do’. My response is this: We get to watch more than just academic growth in our classrooms. We watch laughter. We watch friendships blossom and grow. We watch as these relationships continue to develop, and often we get to witness them last a lifetime. And, in some instances, we are privileged to be a part of this continuance…It was such an honor to be asked to be present as Simon Jenkins proposed to his 5th grade love. It is another moment that reminds me of my ‘why’ as I continue to love ‘my’ children each year.

couple celebrating their engagement

I'm not crying, you're crying!

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Hagwood continues to teach and welcomed another class that Fall. Coincidentally, that’s when Peyton and Simon will officially tied the knot, according to People.

Congratulations to the happy couple who gave us all a wholesome love story to smile about today. I guess the adage is true: when you know, you know.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Health

Neuroscientist shares the trick to stop worrying about what other people think of you

Imagine how freeing it'd be to stop caring what other people think.

A young woman is feeling rather insecure.

Everyone cares what others think about them because it’s part of our nature. We want to be loved and accepted by our social pack or tribe because it’s essential to survival. Historically, those excluded from their tribes have faced having to live on their own and lost access to valuable resources. In some ways, as humans, social excursion is tantamount to death.

However, caring too much about other people's thoughts can also become a huge problem. Obsession with other people’s opinions can lead to actions that contradict our core beliefs. It can also lead to low self-esteem and prevent people from doing what they like because they fear being judged.

This can be incredibly challenging in today’s world when we have to deal with other people’s opinions online. Whether it’s a comment on an Instagram post or scrolling through Facebook and reading someone's views on politics or pop culture, we are constantly faced with other people’s opinions.

How do we stop caring about what other people think?

How do we step back and develop a healthier relationship with other people’s opinions? Daniel Glaser, a renowned neuroscientist, says we can start by changing the stories we tell ourselves. “I have this person in my head called the ‘critic’ or the ‘editor,’ and at my worst, I’m incredibly good at conjuring up the person who would be most critical of my performance,” he told Vogue. “As a species, we’ve evolved to tell stories about ourselves, to create narratives. We make things real, and then those things change how we act.”

insecure, other people's opinions, young womanA young woman looking in the mirror.via Canva/Photos

Glaser says that to stop worrying about other people’s opinions, we need to imagine someone being very pleased and positive with ourselves. “The trick isn’t to not care what others think, but to care about the right people,” he says. It’s like when you tell yourself not to think of an elephant; that’s all you can think of. Instead, think about someone being pleased with your Instagram post before you put it up or think about someone loving your art before you show it to people.

“If you’re trying to plan projects, imagine a specific person saying a really cool thing…so the trick isn’t to stop yourself thinking of other people but to vividly conjure up someone who’s delighted with what you’ve done,” Glaser continues.

The trick: Think about someone thinking of you positively.

How to stop caring about other people's opinions

Mark Manson, the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k” is a bit of an expert on not caring what other people think, and he has a different way of seeing things than Glaser. He believes that if we care too much about what other people think, we need to start elevating our game and doing things that are so important that other people’s opinions don’t matter.

insecure, other people's opinions, young womanA young woman doesn't care about a man's opinion.via Canva/Photos

“When you have something truly important in your life, something you’re willing to be ridiculed for, that’s when you’ll stop caring about others’ opinions. Ironically, that’s also when people start respecting you,” Manson wrote on his blog. “Imagine a burning building with a baby trapped inside. If you were the only one who could save the baby, you wouldn’t care what others thought. You’d run into the fire without hesitation. That’s an extreme example, but the principle applies to everyday life.”

Manson suggests asking yourself: What’s so important in your life that you’re willing to be ridiculed for it?

If you’ve been wondering how to stop caring what other people think, you’ve already taken an important first step in confronting the issue. But understand that there is a reason why you care what others think; the key is to find a balance where those opinions won’t stop you from being yourself and doing what you love.

Internet

How to honestly answer the question 'what do you think' without hurting someone's feelings

Let's be transparent, we don't always think a friend's new haircut is great.

How to answer 'what do you think' without hurting feelings

When someone makes a change to their appearance, they are usually hoping for a positive reaction from those they care about. Let's be honest, even if you're not the kind of person that seeks approval from others, compliments can boost your day. But it's impossible to like every single change to someone's appearance because we all have different styles so what do you say if you hate the new look?

Most people may think it's best to say nothing if they're not directly asked which is great advice if you're talking about someone you don't know well. Saying nothing when your significant other leaves the house with brown waist-length hair and comes back with a blonde bob might end in hurt feelings and a night on the couch.

Instead of lying about how you feel about the change they've made you could simply ask them how they feel about it first. If they love it, then you can simply say, "I'm so glad you love it" while pointing out something positive but truthful, like "the blonde really brings out the color in your eyes." The person will walk away feeling complimented and you can feel good about not lying, though it's not always that easy.

Episode 5 Nbc GIF by Will & GraceGiphy

Sometimes an excited friend or partner will directly ask the question, "what do you think" after revealing a change or new purchase. This is generally where the anxiety comes in because you don't want to be the one that deflates their balloon but you also don't care for the change. Seems this dilemma has caused many discussions with varying answers on how to properly answer it.

Bad Hair GIF by Nat Geo WildGiphy

In response to someone asking what to say about a bad haircut their friend just received, one person says in part, "if you are close enough to criticize each other, then tell him in a way that suits your friendship level. But in general, I think it’s better to mirror your friends feelings. Especially when it comes to a persons appearance. So if they like it? you love it! If they hate it? you dislike it but it’s not their fault, so it’s fine! But you can gently add in some constructive hints or tips. for example; 'it’s good, I think it will look even better when the sides grow out,' 'the volume is great, it will look even better when it’s a bit longer in the front,' 'i like this, I thought your old cut was also great— maybe next time you could try something that’s a mix of both.'"

Episode 1 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Another person responds, "A good rule of thumb for good manners when discussing someone's appearance is never criticize anything that can't be fixed in 5 minutes or less. Given that he has to grow out this cut, and that will take at least weeks or months, let it go. If he likes it and it's what he wanted then don't rain on his parade because you don't personally find it flattering."

"It’s easier to tell someone politely but it might be harder for them to accept the fact that questions that are none of their business, such as looks, weight, whether or not someone is pregnant or planning on having children to name a few are none of anyone’s business, including yours," someone says after an internet user anonymously inquired about disliking a friend's plastic surgery results.

Al Pacino Oscars GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy

"Unless, and I emphasize this, the person is a very close friend and asks for an intimate opinion, do NOT criticize how they look especially if you think it is overdone," another says in response.

Gauging someone's reaction to their altered appearance will help guide your response if asked directly. Being honest without shattering the person's confidence in their looks can be a delicate line to walk, especially if the person is particularly sensitive. Hopefully trying one of the options listed will spare feelings while keeping relationships in tact.