Forgot how to talk to people? This 1950 short film on having better conversations might help.
It's so cheesy, but also surprisingly helpful.
Film reel from 1950 contains cheesy but relevant tips for brushing up our pandemic-bruised social skills.
The pandemic hasn't ended, but a combo of a push toward "normalcy" and a window of low case counts has made it so that most of us are venturing out more. Some of us are finding that our social skills have gone a bit wonky. Throughout the pandemic, there have been articles telling us that this was happening, with headlines like "It's not just you. We're all socially awkward now" and "A crash course in polishing your pandemic-damaged social skills." I had a friend the other day mention how he'd met someone new and felt like he'd forgotten how to have a conversation.
In addition to the pandemic, the social and political discourse of the past several years feels like it has become more and more contentious. It's hard to have a discussion in which disagreements don't devolve into ugliness, so we might avoid any conversation that goes beyond the weather altogether.
However, research also shows that people really want to have richer conversations with one another. So we're in this weird spot of wanting to talk to people but feeling a bit lost as to how to do it.
Never fear. The 1950s film reel is here to help us out.
Those of us who grew up in the predigital era remember our teachers trotting out film projectors and showing us crackly films from the '50s with the iconic announcer-y voices and "Aw, gee whiz" teens acting out cheesy scenes. (Some of us hear the clickety-clicking of the projector and immediately want to fall asleep, as our minds revert back to the unbearable boredom—and yet much-needed reprieve from normal class—that such films meant for us.) This film reel will send Gen-X-and-older folks straight back to our childhoods.
But there's actually some good stuff in here. "Ways to Better Conversation" was part of a series of instructional educational videos put out by Coronet in the '40s,' 50s, '60s and '70s. It compares a good conversation to a volleyball game, and examines the roles of courtesy, contributing, following the subject and listening carefully in having a pleasant, productive conversation.
Oddly enough, it's these basics that are often missing from modern conversation, which becomes fairly apparent when we witness the "bad conversation" example in the film. Despite its oh-so-very-1950 vibe, the fundamental lesson really does apply to today.
And if you don't find the tips useful, it's still a delight to see the '50s equivalent of a YouTube how-to video. This is how we used to roll, kids. Watch and learn.
(And yes, the flub with the skipped words at the beginning is actually quite true to the reality of watching these films in class. Something was always breaking with those things. Good times.)
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."