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Health

Trouble sleeping? Meditation expert's 'house-tour hack' could help you get the ZZZs you crave.

"It sounds like it makes no sense."

A woman walking through a house she knows well.
via Canva/Photos

Familiarity breeds relaxation, apparently.

Few things are better for your mental and physical well-being than a good night’s sleep. Getting the correct amount of sleep each night is great for your immune system, reduces stress, and lowers your risk for chronic conditions such as type 2 diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure. It also makes you feel great and helps you concentrate during the day at work or school.

However, far too many people aren’t getting enough shut-eye to enjoy all these incredible benefits. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 in 3 adults in the United States reported not getting enough rest or sleep daily. Nearly 40% of adults fall asleep accidentally during the day without meaning to, and 50 to 70 million Americans have ongoing sleep disorders.

A technique to help you fall asleep.

There is no right way to fall asleep at night, but if counting sheep hasn’t worked for you since middle school, meditation expert Emily Kessler has an easy-to-do technique to help you get the sleep you need. Kessler, a medication coach in Brooklyn, New York, is “happiest when helping people tap into their truest selves.” She shared the technique, known as the "house-tour hack," in August 2024 on TikTok, and it has had over 2 million views.

@emilymeditates

I repeat: I have never made it to the upstairs 😂 Try this & let me know what happens!! #sleephack #fallasleepfast #fallingasleep

“When you are trying to sleep at night, and you're laying in your bed, what I recommend is taking a few nice, deep breaths calming your body a little bit and then start to visualize a house,” Kessler begins her post. “Not your own house, but a house that you know really well. I use my grandmother's old house.”

“You basically visualize yourself slowly walking up to the house, noticing all the details about the outside, going up to the door, opening the door, walking in, seeing the layout, and then slowly going through each room, noticing things in as much detail as possible. Making your way through every room, seeing the art, the furniture, the layout,” she continues. “There is something about this that distracts your thinking, busy mind enough to let you fall into sleep. I've literally never made it upstairs at her house.”


Visualization can help people fall asleep.

Kessler’s house-tour hack uses a visualization technique known as “visual distraction,” which researchers have scientifically proven to help insomniacs fall asleep faster. Visualizing a calm, serene scene, such as visiting your grandmother's house, effectively prevents intrusive, stressful thoughts from taking hold while you lay in bed at night.

Some commenters shared the visualization techniques they use to fall asleep. "I pick a topic and then try to think of a related word for each letter of the alphabet. Usually only make it to G," Hillary wrote. "A hack that I do is just immediately create a dream and trick my brain into thinking I’ve already fallen asleep. It's no joke; the dream continues, and I fall asleep," Najah added. "I used to 'pray' for all of my family members. I would list every single one down to great aunts and uncles, and I rarely made it all the way through," Samantha wrote.

How to fall asleep using cognitive shuffling.

Another popular technique that we recently highlighted on Upworthy is called "cognitive shuffling." Denver-based board-certified dermatologist Dr. Scott Walter says it has been a game changer for helping him fall asleep. “One is just thinking of random words or objects that have nothing to do with each other,” Walter said. “For example, cow, leaf, sandwich, butter, liver, things like that — just random words that make no sense,” he said on TikTok. He adds that it's successful because it “mimics what are called 'microdreams,' which occur during the transition to sleep, [letting] your brain know, hey, it’s safe to fall asleep.”

Ultimately, it seems that our minds are the greatest barrier to getting a good night’s sleep because, no matter how badly our bodies want to turn off, the mind loves to chatter away when it should be calming down. According to science, and meditation expert Emily Kessler, we can calm our busy brains by conjuring dreamlike images to help us fall into deep, restorative sleep.





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Dad's heartfelt lunch message shows how simple, everyday acts can change lives

You can make a huge difference by using O Organics.

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

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Education

Job recruiter is surprised when candidate put 671-day streak for Japanese Duolingo on his resume

Clever idea? Or just resume fluff?

@bllshfrv/Reddit, Wikipedia

Nearly two years of learning a language…something's had to have stuck.

In the age of algorithms and keywords and incredibly steep competition, people have to be more strategic and creative than ever to secure a good job. Especially when it comes to drafting a resume that stands out amongst hundreds of others.

Recently, one job recruiter was so impressed by one job seeker’s clever idea of listing their 671-day Duolingo streak—alongside a fluency in English and limited American Sign Language —under the "languages" section in their resume that he decided to share it online.

According to Newsweek, the job recruiter, named Bilal Ashrafov, was pleasantly surprised, and had even considered including something similar on his own resume, “but wasn't sure if it would come across as professional.”

“Seeing someone take that first step made me reflect on its relevance,” he said, noting that “a long-standing Duolingo streak can demonstrate dedication and continuous learning,” even if the popular app only requires a minute of practice a day.

After sharing the resume onto Reddit, others seemed to agree, and commended the potential employee for their innovative approach.

Someone sent a resume with their Duolingo streak under ‘Languages’
byu/bllshrfv induolingo

"Imagine explaining that in an interview—'I'm not just consistent, I'm Duolingo consistent!'" one viewer quipped.

Another commented, "If I was hiring, I would definitely interview this person."

Still another said, "It got noticed, didn't it? Sounds like not too bad of an idea."

Considering that there are a few ways folks can keep their Duolingo streak intact without truly getting proficient in a language, like continuing to purchase streak freezes, this idea might never take on as the new resume must-have. But, on a much broader scale, this story highlights the need to bring a bit of ourselves to our resumes. As the concept of portfolio careers, or a career that includes multiple income streams, rather than a single job title, becomes more and more mainstream, we’ve seen people find great success in listing what they uniquely bring to the table, professional or otherwise.

When it comes to adding resume items that pop, and offer a true reflection for who you really are, think about including:

Soft skills:

These are personal qualities that describe how you work and interact with others, such as conflict resolution or time management, and they are not only gaining importance across the workforce, but are highly transferable across different types of work.

Personal projects:

Whether you got paid for these isn’t paramount here. If you led a community initiative your passionate about, or even have a long-standing blog about something that interests you, this could be included.

Technical skills beyond the job description:

Do you have a proficiency in certain programs, like coding languages, data visualization, project management, etc? Even if a job doesn’t specifically ask for these skills, they could be helpful additions.

Creative or unique hobbies:

You never know what interesting conversations your oddball pastime might inspire, if anything else. So don’t be embarrassed if you’re a wiz a Photoshopping old-timey puppy portraits or engage in recreating Scandinavian folk tunes with GarageBand.

Community involvement:

This can be your volunteering roles, and mentorship programs you might have participated in, or even charities you have close ties to.

Academic achievements:

Include relevant published research papers or presentations, and awards or honors you received during your studies, or any significant contributions you might have made to a research project

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. Include a few, or perhaps your own impressive Duolingo streak, or something else. Just remember, sometimes it pays to think outside the box.

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Humor

'Broccoli hair' and 14 of the 'worst millennium fashion trends people can't believe happened

People are passionate about the past 25 years of fashion.

via Canva/Photos, The White House/Wikimedia Commons, and Todd Dwyer/Flickr

Patrick Mahomes and his broccoli cut, a woman with a septum piercing and some hipsters circa 2009.

We are already a quarter of the way through the 21st century, and now that enough time has elapsed, we can look back on some older trends with a twinge of embarrassment. The turn-of-the-century brought low-rise jeans, velour tracks suits — some with cheeky sayings on the butt — and bedazzled everything. There was also the indie sleaze movement, where it seemed like overnight, everyone wore skinny jeans and looked like The Strokes.

Over the past 15 years, athleisure has been at the fashion forefront, along with eco-friendly gear. Sneakers have become status symbols, like in the ‘80s and ‘90s, with Jordans, Yeezys, and limited-run collaborations draining banking accounts. We’ve also seen a reemergence of ‘90s styles amongst teens, with baggy pants and crop tops making a huge comeback.


The past 25 years have also seen the rise of fast fashion, a movement in which trendy, low-cost clothing mimicking big brand names has flooded the market and is thrown out almost as quickly as it is manufactured. This trend has raised many questions about labor exploitation in developing nations, resource depletion, and overconsumption.

That said, many people hope the fashion trends of the past 25 years will remain in the past and that some we see today are over as soon as possible. On the AskReddit subforum, a Redditor asked, "What was the worst fashion trend this century?" We highlighted the top 15 highlights (or, for many, lowlights) of the first quarter century.

1. Fast fashion

"Fast generally doesn't refer to how long it lasts, it refers to how quickly it gets manufactured and sold. It's less about the poor craftsmanship, more about the environmental impacts, the waste, the labor exploitation, and the manipulation of fashion trends."

"I feel like there's two sides of fast fashion where one side is how poorly constructed garments are and using extremely cheap and/or non-durable fiber to make them, and then there's the side where we're pumping out clothes like crazy with the idea that producing enough will ensure something sells enough to make a profit margin."

2. Hyper-bro style

"That weird hyper-bro period of multiple polos with popped collars and an upside down backwards visor."

"My immediate thought was the popped collars. What a horrible period that was."

3. Dropped-crotch jeans

"Those pants that were tight in the legs but also somehow had a sagging butt."


4. Thick false eyelashes

"Oh God, this. I work part-time at a retail, and so many girls have those outrageous false lashes. I genuinely can’t fathom why anyone would get them and how they think it even looks decent."

"Really long fake eyelashes always remind me of Mr. Snuffleupagus. Which I assume is not what they're going for, but..."

5. Lip injections

"A beautiful woman can go from a 10 to wouldn’t date easily with either of these. I really don’t get it."



6. Broccoli hair

"I don't think it's a terrible hairdo in and of itself. And I like to see people embracing their curls. It just gets funny when every member of a generation has the same hairstyle."

"I was surprised so many people had this curly hair, and then I learned that many of these young boys are getting perms for the look."

"It’s a struggle. I have an 11-year-old with naturally curly hair. He gets stopped everywhere and asked if the curls are natural. Kids at school make fun of him by saying he must have a perm. But he loves his curls and doesn’t want to cut them. So he gets the broccoli/alpaca look; and I think he looks adorable."


7. Barrel jeans

"It makes it look like they have bowlegs - a medical condition that should be corrected in toddlers."

"Not a single person asked for barrel jeans."

8. Fake fingernails

"Super long fake fingernails that are bedazzled and sharpened to a pointed end. Way too much time, energy, and money spent on something that is straight up awful and impractical."

"It's like a lifted pickup truck on big rims, absolutely about the aesthetic while rendering it completely useless."

9. Low-rise jeans

"Low-rise jeans. Not because they looked bad, but because they made everyone collectively anxious about sitting down."

"I was a science teacher in a class where students sat on stools. Had to avert my eyes often while helping a student behind someone with these on."


10. Jeans under dresses

"I may have fallen victim to this one lol. I don’t wear dresses much now, but I definitely did the jeans thing a time or two long ago lol."

"Pants under dresses only look cute on girls in Elementary school."

11. Long beards

"And their obsession with running their paws through it all the time. Imagine the smell!"

"Long beards are fine if you take care of it though, which some don't."


12. Bedazzled jeans

"The bedazzled jeans with excessive stitching and adornments. True Religion was one of the more popular brands. The kind of pants you’d wear with an Affliction shirt. Don’t know what they’re called, but I hope they stay gone."

"These have filtered down to rural areas/suburbs of small cities for people who want to think of themselves as cowboys, and it’s super gross."



13. Septum piercings

"It's so ridiculous. I keep picturing a bull in a field."

"I don't mind nose rings or other types of piercings, but that one bugs the sh*t out of me."

14. The Edgar haircut

"The Edgar haircut is the worst one. So many people are going to look back on those pictures in shame 20 years from now."


15. Super small suits

"When I got married I wanted the tight suit with inch-too-short pants: it was 2013, that was the look. Bought a suit from an independent shop, 70 year old owner/tailor refused to alter the suit like that. He said I’d look back at my wedding pics and wish I was wearing something more classic. I took his advice and I’m glad I did."

"While I like the recent James Bond movies, I blame Daniel Craig (or at least the stylist) for the too small suit look. His suits were consistently about two sizes too small in the movies."


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Two brothers Irish jigify Kendrick Lamar's 'Not Like Us' and somehow make it even better.

The infamous Drake diss gets the Riverdance treatment

gardinerbrothers/TikTok

You'd have to be living under a rock to not have heard of Kendrick Lamar and, specifically, the hit song "Not Like Us." Not only was the track the biggest song of the summer of 2024, it also won Lamar a ridiculous five Grammy awards (Song of the Year, Best Rap song, Best Rap Performance, Best Music Video, and even Record of the Year). It was also the lethal dagger in one of the biggest rap beefs in recent history, as the song is a "diss track" that ruthlessly eviscerates rival rapper Drake. Finally, Lamar performed the song in the front of the entire world at the Super Bowl LIX halftime show, cementing its place in the cultural zeitgeist. You can't really have a discussion about pop culture and goings on in 2025 without mentioning the rap.

Just when you thought there was nothing more that could possibly be said about the song, the famous Gardiner Brothers — world-champion Irish dancers and TikTok mega stars — decided to drop a little Riverdance-remix.

It started as a joke. The brothers posted a video on TikTok mashing up Kendrick Lamar's moves at the Super Bowl with a few of their own. It playfully poked fun at the light and airy music they often dance to, contrasting Lamar's now famous beat with their own heavy-on-the-fiddle jig tunes.

Then a commenter challenged them to dance to "Not Like Us" for real, and the boys did not disappoint.

@gardinerbrothers

Replying to @Codename:estibestie Just missing the flares 😅 👖 #kendricklamar #notlikeus

Viewers were obsessed with the unique mash up of styles. The footwork on display in the video is hypnotizing, with the clicks and clacks perfectly complimenting the beat of the song and Lamar's lyrics.

"Yeesss McKendrick Lamar," a commenter joked.

"Kendrick O'Lamar," said another.

"Brilliant! Kendrik bringing the whole world together."

"Someone has to send these boys some bootcut flares," one user joked, referencing Lamar's attention-grabbing jeans worn during the Super Bowl halftime show.

Others wished the Brothers could have been included in the Super Bowl performance. It would have made an amazing addition! Just imagine how much more confused America's grandparents would have been if Lamar's politically charged performance, suddenly and without warning, cut to an Irish jig.

Michael and Matthew Gardiner are Irish-American brothers from Denver with millions of followers on social media. These days, they live in Galway, Ireland where they choreograph dances, tour the world, and compete in competitive dance competitions in-between filming content. And yes, they have both performed in Riverdance.

Giphy

TikTok and Instagram reels have helped bring so much exposure to artists, particularly ones that work in a visual medium like dance. It has allowed artists who, before, never would have been able to make money with their craft to build an audience and even, in some cases, earn a living. Some people argue that TikTok is having a negative effect on dance, in the sense that routines are designed for the algorithm and for as much distribution as possible versus from a place of pure creativity. But what's really amazing is that the exposure extends far beyond just modern and street dances. Who would have thought that two guys who specialize in Irish stepdancing could have videos with tens of millions of views?!

"Our vision was just to show how modern, athletic, and versatile Irish dancing can be," Matthew told Dance Spirit. "We also drew inspiration from places like Riverdance, Gene Kelly, Fred Astaire, and other dancers online that are in a different genre, like hip hop. We just wanted to keep pushing the boundaries of Irish dance—hold on to the tradition from the past, but innovate it for the future and see where we can take it.

It says a lot about the beauty and skill of Irish dancing that it can be so flexibly applied across music genres, and to such viral appeal. But it also says a lot about the talent of Kendrick Lamar and how people from all walks of life can appreciate his lyricism and artistry. In other words, Kendrick Lamar and Irish dancing is a surprisingly perfect pairing.

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Women rally behind a mom who's tired of being judged for having a full face of makeup

“Why are we judging moms on their parenting because of how they look?"

@emloublogger/TikTok

Self care doesn't make you "one of THOSE moms."

Virtually no one is here to argue that mom shaming isn’t a very real thing that every woman with kids must endure on some level during parenthood—be it for whether or not the breastfeed, whether they enroll their kids in this school or that school, or in this case, whether or not they choose to wear makeup.

Yep, you read that right. Recently, a mom named Emma Hutton, who happens to work in the beauty industry as a nail tech, shared via TikTok how she experiences judgement for always being seen with her makeup and hair completely done. In fact, she had been dubbed "one of them type of moms” for it, as though that could possibly indicate what type of mom she was.

In reality, Hutton explains, wearing makeup has absolutely nothing to do with being a mom. She wakes up extra early to put on a full face because “it makes me feel my best.” And when she feels her best, “the day goes better." That’s it, no deeper hidden meaning. But somehow some folks have taken it to be some sort of signal about how inattentive or superficial of a parent she must be, which Hutton seems to find ridiculous.

@emloublogger I’ll always be one of “them” 😎😂 #mums #mumlife #mumsoftiktok #momlife #momtok #mumtok #mommy #parents #mum ♬ original sound - Emma💕

“Why are we judging moms on their parenting because of how they look? You don’t see me judging moms that are in the school playground in pajamas because they literally run out of the house to get their kids to school on time,” she says in her clip.

Clearly, Hutton wasn’t the only one who was irked by this double standard, judging from the support she got in comments. One person even surmised that some jealousy was at play, writing “how you look triggers insecure people that don’t make enough time for themselves. Only miserable people look at what others are doing.”

Others simply commiserated on the fact that, no matter what, the mom shaming would commence. As one person shared, “I go days looking done up and then days looking like Adam Sandler, either way I'm judged. Can’t win.”

We’re all pretty aware that maintaining our appearance can do wonders for our mental health, and makeup can play a huge role in releasing those mood-boosting endorphins. For example, a study published in the journal Cosmetics in 2018 found that when women applied makeup, they reported significant decreases in feelings of sadness, tiredness, and anger.

Even the ritual of putting on makeup, which Hutton told Newsweek was her “me time,” can be a sort of mediation, helping folks tune into the present moment and lower stress. Plus, there can be something very empowering in mastering which colors and techniques bring out your best features. Yes, we live in a world where the beauty industry tries to capitalize on needing to “fix” flaws, but for far longer, makeup has been a magical form of self expression and self care.

And more to the point, why are we chastising moms for trying to maintain this aspect of their identity? As Hutton told Newsweek, "I have always worn makeup and cared about my appearance, so I don't think that should change just because I'm now a mom." And that’s really the message to drive home here. Motherhood is a major component of womanhood, but it isn’t the only component. Women are allowed to nurture the part of themselves that isn’t solely focused on raising a child, and in fact need to in order to stay sane—whether that be through throwing on some lipstick, going to a workout class, having coffee with a friend, or carving out some other variation of “me time.” Kudos to the moms who prioritize self care in whatever way they see fit, regardless of the looks they get. You really are paving the way for more empowerment.

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Former bully reveals her mom's brutal 'lesson in humility' that made her change her ways

Two simple words made all the difference.

Unsplash

Humility and grace go a long way.

We all agree that bullying is bad, yes? I think most adults would agree, at least in theory, that we should treat people with kindness and not with cruelty. But that doesn't change the fact that bullying happens every day in all walks of life. Schools, for example, are rife with it. And that's because a lot of children are still learning crucial skills like empathy, humility, and basic human decency.

When parents catch their own kids being bullies, they usually go down one of two different roads. They may refuse to believe that it's true. My child would never! There must be some kind of misunderstanding! This opens the door for the behavior to continue. On the other hand, other well-meaning parents may bring the hammer down. Yelling, punishments, you name it. It's preferable to ignoring the problem, that's for sure, but it may still miss the mark in terms of teaching a lasting lesson.

A TikTok user, Steph, recently shared her own story of being a former bully, and the exceptional job her mother did handling it when she found out.

gif of Marty McFly confronting bully BifFThere are tons of reasons why people bully others, but it's never a good thing. Giphy

Steph admits in the video that she had been saying cruel things on the school bus to a neighbor girl named Lisa when they were about nine years old. One day, Steph was surprised to find Lisa's mom at her house telling her own mom all about it. Steph's mom was shocked and disappointed.

She says her parents weren't big on yelling or even punishments. They preferred that their kids learn from natural consequences, so what followed was a natural fit: Steph was going to have to apologize to Lisa.

It sounds obvious, but it's a step a lot of parents skip when it comes to bullying. And it's really one of the most important and empathetic parts of the whole process. When you do something wrong or you hurt someone, the right thing to do is apologize.

But Steph's mom wasn't content with an eyes-down, mumbled, "I'm sorry." After making Steph "march" to Lisa's house and face Lisa's family, Steph said, "Lisa, I'm really sorry for the things I've been saying to you." But that wasn't good enough for mom.

"Such as?" Steph's mom said. She then made Steph repeat the horrible things she'd been saying in front of her, in front of Lisa, and in front of Lisa's mom. There was no sidestepping or glossing over her behavior. It was all out in the open for everyone to see in all of its ugliness. The shame and dread Steph felt in that moment has stayed with her forever, but she learned an important lesson in humility and how to take accountability for her actions that day.

"I never bullied anyone again after that."

Watch Steph's whole story here:


@absurdoblivion

In elementary school I bullied a neighbour on the bus ride home over a period of several weeks. Here is the story of how my gentle parent mom dealt with it. …. I still feel ashamed of my behaviour to this DAY!!!!! #bullying

People loved Steph's mom's amazing approach to a difficult situation.

Over a million viewers on TikTok watched Steph's video, with many chiming in with support or stories of their own:

"Appropriate shame is so important in human social path development. Your mom is a queen for doing this"

"My mom sat me down and said 'where did you learn to be mean because I did not raise a mean girl and that’s what you are' her words still ring in my head 17 years later"

"i had second hand shame listening to this. wow. thank you for sharing. ill be implementing this in our family"

"Making you repeat everything in front of her mom is the ultimate consequence"

"Saying out loud specifically what you did is a HUGE part of taking accountability. Great work mom."

One study from a surprising place — trains! — showed that when 'apology messages' were more specific, they were accompanied with more forgiveness. It's much easier to be vague, i.e. "I'm sorry for what I did." Being specific forces us to admit our mistakes on a deeper level and ultimately connect better with the people we've hurt.

Experts agree that an apology is in order when one kid bullies another. Teaching empathy, setting clear expectations for behavior changes you want to see, and being supportive in helping your child make those changes are also key. Consequences for bullying behavior can work, but it's best not to let your temper flare too much. Kids who bully may be being mistreated by an adult or older kid in their own life, so handling the situation with love and empathy is preferable to anger.

Steph's mother's technique is good inspiration. A genuine, specific, and heartfelt apology can go a long way in changing the lives of a bullied kid and the bully.

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