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How to criticize Caitlyn Jenner fairly — and oh, there's a lot to criticize.

A simple tip for tough discussions and disagreements.

Caitlyn Jenner has history of giving troubling sound bites.

In the wake of a shooting attack on Republican members of Congress, Jenner "joked" that "liberals can't even shoot straight." She once told BuzzFeed that, "the hardest part about being a woman is figuring out what to wear." During the 2016 election she said she wanted to be the "trans ambassador" for vehemently anti-LGBTQ politician Ted Cruz.

Take into account her public transition and her connection to the Kardashian family, there's no shortage of people ready and eager to call her out for comments like those.

I'm no fan of her, either. Trust me. Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.

Though we can't know for sure Jenner's intent, her status as a public figure and her habit of saying offensive, inappropriate, and ill-informed things makes life for trans people like me that much harder. She wants to speak for my demographic, and yet, when she opens her mouth, she often says things I vehemently disagree with.

It's embarrassing. It's exhausting.

Also exhausting, however, is the reaction I see play out every time Jenner says something problematic.

For every on-point criticism of whatever it is Jenner said, there are waves of people who respond with transphobic comments and "jokes" that misgender her and refer to her by her old name.

It certainly seems as though many people feel that Jenner saying or doing something awful gives them the green light to let out some general anti-trans feelings on the world — even if by accident.

While those sorts of comments may be directed at her, they send a really unfortunate message to all trans people, implying that being called the correct name and pronoun is a privilege to be "earned" and that can later be revoked in the case of bad behavior.

Those types of comments suggest that the person making them is merely humoring trans people when using our correct pronouns and names instead of taking us at our word when it comes to who we are.

The bottom line is this: Calling Caitlyn Jenner a "man" or using her old name doesn't really address what makes her so objectionable.

There's a name for this kind of bad argument.

It's called "ad hominem," and it's basically when someone comes to an argument to insult someone's character or body as opposed to their ideas. It's a pretty weak way to make a point, and honestly, it often affects more than the intended target.

[rebelmouse-image 19528984 dam="1" original_size="750x549" caption="Calling her a "man" sends a pretty rough message to other trans people. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images." expand=1]Calling her a "man" sends a pretty rough message to other trans people. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

So how can you criticize Caitlyn Jenner without being transphobic? Simple: Avoid ad hominem.

After Jenner's comments about the congressional shooting began circulating, here's an exchange I saw take place on Twitter:

One person posted a link to the recent story about her "liberals can't even shoot straight" comments. Out of nowhere, people replied to that tweet calling her a man, saying things about how her "real name" was "Bruce," and lots of stuff that had nothing to do with the stupid thing that she actually said.

A better way to respond would be to criticize her comments as being offensive or inappropriate in the wake of the tragedy she was talking about.

What if you just won't be satisfied unless you can crack a joke? LGBTQ activist Dan Savage pretty much nailed it with his response to her comments: "The liberal black lesbian married cop who took out the shooter got the job done."

Boom. Critical. Funny. Most importantly, not-transphobic.

There's nothing wrong with criticizing Caitlyn Jenner — whether the person doing the criticizing is trans or not.

Just because ad hominem attacks aren't OK doesn't mean Jenner gets some sort of "free pass" to say troubling things unchecked. It doesn't mean she shouldn't be held accountable for her words or that she shouldn't be criticized for her views or politics.

If people feel the need to criticize her for her political views, her charmed reality TV life, or her actions, they absolutely should do that. Believe me, there is plenty there to address.

There's just no need to bring transphobia into it.

Clarification 6/20/2017: A previous version of this post stated Jenner means well with her comments; it was updated to reflect that we don't know her intent.

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Teacher goes above and beyond for a biology lesson by wearing an anatomically correct suit

That's one way to keep students engaged!

@mikemoratinos/X

Veronica Duque wearing her famous anatomy suit

Being an educator in the American public school system is one of the hardest jobs in our nation. Not only is the work itself challenging, but with constant battles for educational funding and a student body increasingly tethered to their electronic devices, most teachers in America and around the world are navigating uncharted territory when it comes to finding ways to keep their students engaged in their studies.

And that's why when Verónica Duque came across a form-fitting, anatomical bodysuit while doing some online shopping, she thought it would be perfect visual aid to convey vital information (pun intended) to her students in Spain, in a way they'd actually remember.

Turns out, the entire internet would remember it too.

Duque's husband tweeted a collage of images from the classroom lesson, which quickly went viral, with nearly 70,000 likes. Loosely translated, the tweet from her husband Michael reads: "Very proud of this volcano of ideas that I am lucky to have as a wife. Today she explained the human body to her students in a very original way. Great Veronica !!!"

In an interview with Bored Panda, Duque explained the thought process that led her to presenting her third-grade-class with a unique approach to learning.

"I was surfing the internet when an ad of an AliExpress swimsuit popped up," she said. "Knowing how hard it is for kids this young to visualize the disposition of internal organs, I thought it was worth giving it a try."

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonThis is a teacher who cares. assets.rebelmouse.io

Online retailers like Amazon have a number of similar anatomical bodysuits for sale. While most people apparently purchase them for Halloween costumes or as gag gifts, it's now likely that Duque's viral moment will inspire some other educators around the world to take a similar approach to teaching the body basics to their students.

anatomy, anatomical suit, teachers, science, cool teachers, science class, amazonHalloween costume, check. Amazon

While some on Twitter were critical of the suit, the vast majority have praised Duque for her innovative approach to teaching. And the anatomical bodysuit is reportedly far from her first creative endeavor in the classroom.

"I decided long ago to use disguises for history lessons," she told Bored Panda. "I'm also using cardboard crowns for my students to learn grammatical categories such as nouns, adjectives, and verbs. Different grammar kingdoms, so to say."

And when it comes to the inevitable, made-up controversy that tends to latch itself onto virtually anyone that goes viral, Duque said she says there's another far more controversial stereotype she hopes her brief moment of fame will help address.

"I'd like society to stop considering teachers to be lazy bureaucratic public servants," she said. "We're certainly not." Get this teacher a raise!

What really works about Duque's presentation is that it engages students in a sensorial experiences, which helps lessons stick (and let's face it, anything that engages he sense nowadays is a godsend). But there are other methods teachers/parents can try that don't involve wearing a suit with guts on 'em.

Here are some suggestions for hands-on "DIY experiments", courtesy of the Little Medical School website:

1. Building the respiratory system by creating a model lung with straws, balloons, bottles, and duct tape

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

2. Sculpting Body parts with Play Doh

(Grab free printable mats on 123Homeschool4Me)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. Build a functioning heart model

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Of course, these lessons are a little more geared towards younger students, but at the same time, it could provide some inspiration for how to get students more involved in their own learning, just like Duque did.

This article originally appeared six years ago.

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'Alone Australia' winner beautifully describes her grief after losing 3-year-old to cancer

"Death is a doorway…"

The Imperfect Podcast/Instagram (courtesy of Gina Chick)

Gina Chick shares her grief journey on The Imperfect Podcast.

Losing a child is every parent's worst fear, one that most of us don't dare try to imagine. But it happens, and there's wisdom in listening to those who have experienced it rather than avoiding the subject altogether. Everyone's grief journey is different, of course, and bereaved parents may be at any phase of that journey at any given time, but it's enlightening to hear from someone who's traveled far enough down their own path of grief to be able to reflect and put into words how it's affected them.

New Zealand author and Alone Australia winner Gina Chick is one of those people. She lost her three-year-old daughter Blaise to cancer 10 years ago and shares what coming to terms with that loss has been like for her.

"Having and losing Blaise has given me the resilience to dance with life in ways I never would have imagined," Chick wrote for ABC Australia in 2023. "Dancing with grief over the past decade has taught me how to be with what is, rather than what I wish could be. Or should be. It's taught me to turn a challenge inside out to find the blessing in the lesson."

Chick, who spent 67 days alone in the Tasmanian wilderness to win on Alone, was a guest on The Imperfect Podcast. When the host asked her what it's like to lose a child, her response was just beautiful.

"I can't say what it's like to lose a child, but I can say what it's like to lose mine," she said. "The actual losing part, death, is such a doorway. And a body without someone in it is like, oh, like I understood life by having my daughter not have it in her body anymore."

"It was such a visceral and profound experience. To be able to midwife her out of life with the same presence that we brought her in was beautiful," she said. "And I said yes. I said yes to the grief. I said yes to that journey. And it meant that whenever I was grieving, I just went with it."

Chick explains that she has expressed her grief in every possible way, which is what makes her able to talk about it so calmly now.

"I can honestly say that having her was the greatest gift of my life, and losing her was the second greatest gift of my life," she said. "Because of her and because of losing her, I am stronger, I am calmer, I have more presence, I have more ability to hold people, I have more compassion. I'm a much better human. And the gift of her leaving is a gift that I walk around with every day, so every person who I touch or speak to, that's her. So, it's like her gift is me in the world, or me in the world is her gift."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

People were deeply moved by her answer.

"I don’t think I’ve ever heard anything this profound and beautiful and brutal and uplifting."

"Beautiful words ❤️ I feel this very much! I lost my angel daughter 14 months ago."

"I'm stunned by this post that I just found while randomly scrolling. Your words have spoken what I have felt in my heart, but can rarely verbalise accurately. Kissing my son's forehead while he laid on the mortuary bench, I've never shaken off the knowing that even though I was holding and kissing him, *he* wasn't there. Also, I rarely say this, but perversely, his loss was the greatest gift I've ever had. His loss taught me about love and humanity in a way that I would never have learned in an entire lifetime of living. Thank you for this wonderful post. You've touched the heart of a stranger in Ireland with this, and I am grateful to you for it."

"Wow. this woman is the embodiment of what it is to be able to appreciate the depth of tragedy, sit with it, process it, and come out on the other side with having your understanding transformed without your heart being hardened. It's such a rare thing to be able to witness - thank you for sharing!"

grief, death, loss, gina chick, aloneGrieving the loss of a loved one is uniquely personal.Photo credit: Canva

Many people who have lost children or other close loved ones shared that Chick's words brought them a sense of peace. But the writer had more to say, adding additional commentary to her video after thousands of people responded.

"I’d like to add something, for anyone who is going through deep loss and has been touched or triggered by this reel…

Losing someone who is woven into your cells, your being, your entire life, is something I would never want anyone to feel. And yet, so many of us are here. Feeling the unfeelable. Accepting the unacceptable. Thinking the unthinkable. Bearing the unbearable.

I do not for one second think or say my journey is like anyone else’s. Grief is as individual as a fingerprint. A heart print. We all do the best we can with what we have. Sometimes hopeless, sometimes numb, sometimes rage full, sometimes graceful, mostly graceless and clumsy and awful. Often all of these in one day. Hanging on by our fingernails. One day at a time.

In this clip I’ve spoken only about my journey and lessons. I don’t presume for a heartbeat that anyone else will have the same response. Grief has its own mystery.

For me, part of my journey has been a gradual acceptance of the gifts of grief. Grief is the flipside of the coin of love. The size of our grief is the size of our love for that which has been lost. That’s how big the pain is.

grief, love, grieving losing a loved one, losing a child, gina chick"Grief is the flipside of the coin of love." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

Leaning into it has brought me solace. For others it may be the opposite. Whatever gets us through, that’s all that matters.

We live in a culture that has lost its rituals and ceremonies. We don’t have a roadmap for grief.
People don’t know what to say to us. We can feel alone and lost.

I send deepest love and respect to anyone on this path of raw pure pain and loss, however it looks. I can’t know your individual flavour of pain, but I send you love, and I say I see you, and this sucks so hard, and I’m sorry you’re going through this, and I hope you find some peace, somewhere, in the storm.

The gifts I’ve discovered here for myself are wrought in blood and anguish. I’ve collected them slowly, and they give me stepping stones through my grief. But I would be horrified to think anyone would compare their own process and think this is right or wrong. It’s just my way. Every path is the right one, because it’s ours.

grief, grief journey, path of healing, losing a loved one, gina chick"Every path is the right one, because it’s ours." - Gina ChickPhoto credit: Canva

I urge everyone on this thread to treat each other’s paths and hearts with exquisite kindness. The pain of losing someone who is part of you is indescribable.

Let’s hold each other with tenderness and compassion, and be each other’s lights in the dark."

You can find more of Gina's grief journey in her book, We Are the Stars: A misfit's story of love, connection and the glorious power of letting gohere, and on her website ginachick.com.

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American English includes one of the rarest sounds on Earth, but we use it all the time

Er…this is odd.

Photo credit: Canva

Learning to make sounds we didn't grow up with can be tricky.

When (or if) kids learn phonics at school, they're taught the symbols that go with sounds of their country's native language or languages. People all around the world grow up learning to make specific sounds with their mouths by imitating the language(s) they are immersed in, which can leave us completely unaware of how many other sounds there are until we hear a language that's far different from our own.

Even the common foreign languages that American school kids learn have sounds that can be tricky to get down. The rolled "r" in Spanish. The nuances of French vowel pronunciations. The glottal stops in German. The sound that's a mix between "r" and "l" in Japanese. And for people learning English, one of the trickiest sounds to get down is "er," as in the American pronunciation of "bird," "world," "summer," or "percent."

Oddly enough, for as common as the "er" sound is in English, it's linguistically rare. According to the Linguistics Channel @human1011, the "er" sound is found in less than 1% of the world's languages, rarer than the click consonants found in some languages in East and Southern Africa.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

As rare as the sound is, there are a lot of people in the world who use it, mainly because it's also used in Mandarin Chinese, or at least many variations of it. So, while there aren't many languages that use it, by sheer numbers of people, it's not that uncommon.

"So, a sound that's so rare that it's in less than 1% of the world's languages just happens to exist in the two most spoken languages on Earth? Can that really be a coincidence?" the @human1011 video asks. Well, yes. English and Chinese don't share a common linguistic root, so those sounds just happened to evolve in very different parts of the planet. According to some people in the comments of the video, there are regional dialects in Brazil where the "er" sound is used and in certain parts of the Netherlands as well.

Pronouncing the "er" sound is hard if you don't grow up with it, largely because it's all about the placement and shape of the tongue inside the mouth combined with the way the lips are positioned. That combination is physically tricky to show someone. This video, from a non-native-English-speaker does a good job of explaining the mouth movements that create the sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

What's particularly interesting about the "er" sound in American English is that it functions as a vowel sound. Most of us learned that the vowels in English are a, e, i, o, u, and sometimes y, and that's true as far as written vowels go, but vowel sounds are different. In the word "bird," the letter "i" is a vowel, but doesn't make any of the "i" sounds that we learned in school. Instead, the "ir" combine to make the "er" vowel sound. It's called an r-controlled vowel, and we see it in tons of words like "work," "were," "burn," "skirt," etc.

Learn something new every day, right?

Here's another video that explains the physical aspects of articulating the r-controlled vowel sound.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Most of us don't think about the fact that sounds we pronounce without even thinking about it have to be specifically learned and practiced by people who didn't grow up with them. It's not until we start trying to learn a language that's different from our own that we see how many sounds we have to work hard to make, sometimes even having to train our mouth muscles in ways they've never been used before.

It's also a good reminder to be patient and kind with people who are learning a language. It's not easy, and anyone making an effort to communicate in someone else's language deserves our grace and kudos.

You can follow @human1011 on YouTube for more interesting linguistics trivia.

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Mom exposes 5 reasons why girls are skipping the tween phase, going straight from child to teenager

Kids used to watch Hannah Montana; now they're obsessed with their skincare routines.

via Canva/Photos

Tweens reading their composition books to each other.

Have you heard the recent stories about nine-year-old girls who have become obsessed with skincare routines? These days, instead of wanting to get a gift certificate to Claire’s for their birthday, they prefer Sephora. How about the 10-year-olds obsessed with watching adult shows on Netflix instead of age-appropriate content on Disney+? It's all evidence of a disturbing trend: young girls seem to be growing up faster and skipping the awkward tween phase altogether.

Ashley Embers, a parenting YouTuber with over 127,000 subscribers, explored this topic in a compelling video that gives five reasons why young girls are skipping the valuable tween phase and acting like teenagers. This troubling trend is caused by changes in media, marketing, smartphone use, and how young girls socialize.

Why are tweens acting more like teenagers?

“This small sliver of time between childhood and teenage life was once a transitional phase where children would start to find their place in the world, but now they bypass their awkward stage altogether and jump straight into behaving like adults,” Embers opens her video.

Here are Ashley Embers' five reasons why childhood is being cut short for many tween girls.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

1. Tweens are abandoned by retail

“One of the reasons that preteens have fizzled out is because they don't have designated stores for them anymore,” Embers says. Growing up, when departing from childhood, you would get stores designed explicitly for that transition into teenhood. Think Pink by Victoria's Secret, Claire's, Justice, and Ardene. These stores got you out of the childish styles of clothing and accessories while still keeping everything age-appropriate.”

2. Social media has a bigger influence on tween fashion

“A big reason for the lack of preteen stores is because children's fashion influence is now coming from TikTok and Instagram rather than their peers at school,” Embers says. "The problem is that most of the creators on these platforms are over the age of 13, unless you go through the loophole of having a parent-run account, and this means that the kids who are going on these platforms are being influenced primarily by adults and teenagers.”

tween, pre-teen, girls 9 to 12, tween fashion, girls, middle schoolTween girls volunteering.via Canva/Photos


3. The demise of pre-teen media

In the video, Embers says that two types of media are just not as relevant for preteens anymore: television shows, specifically Disney programming, and magazines such as Tiger Beat or J-14.

"The cream of the crop was the Disney Channel. The shows from Disney were iconic and such a big part of so many people's upbringing, think of Lizzie McGuire, Ned's Declassified, Hannah Montana, Wizards of Waverly Place, Sweet Life of Zach and Cody, That's So Raven," Embers says. "The thing that made these shows so special is that they taught us about the transition from childhood to adulthood. They addressed things like crushes, navigating cliques in school, conflict with friends and parents, and just finding out who you are, and what you want to be."

Embers says that kids watched these shows after school and could talk about them with their friends the next day or watch them together. But nowadays, people watch television at their own pace, and that communal spirit is gone.


4. Advertising has changed

There has been a significant shift in how tweens interact with advertising in the era of social media. The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act was passed in 1998, which prohibits social media platforms or online services directed at children under 13. Embers says that even though kids 13 and under shouldn’t be using many of these online platforms, they still do and are exposed to advertising for adult products, because it’s illegal to sell them anything else. This has affected tween tastes by making them advanced for their age. “We got ads for things like toys and games, and kids now are getting ads for Stanley Cups and wrinkle-free straws,” Embers says.


5. Overexposure to crisis

Once a tween is given a smartphone or their friends have them, they are exposed to many of the world's horrors. This causes them to lose the innocence of childhood and become worried about politics, natural disasters, inequality, and violent crime at a time when their brains aren’t developed enough to process them.

"There is increased exposure to violent or sexual content at a younger age which causes a desensitization and normalization because children's brains aren't fully developed to process this in a way that an adult brain can," Dr. Willough Jenkins, an inpatient director of psychiatry at Rady Children's Hospital, San Diego, said, according to Embers.

Embers’ reasoning for the end of the tween era may be distressing to many. Still, she concludes the video with a silver lining: schools and parents are beginning to crack down on smartphone use among tweens and teens, and we may be on the precipice of positive change. "The effects we're seeing of social media on kids are still so new that there's still time to rewrite the story for these kids," she says. "With all the research coming out about the damages of phones on children, things are starting to change."

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Pass down the crown, Labradors. America has a new favorite dog breed.

After 31 years of Lab dominance, the American Kennel Club named a new top dog.

Photo via Pixabay

Poor, sad Labrador Retriever.

The dog world shifted in 2022 as the sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever was toppled as America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold was replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog until it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings were based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022. As of 2024, Frenchies are still America's top dog three years running.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French BullDog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dogAn adorable French Bulldogvia Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance, and Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age,

While they're friendly, they can also be stubborn and may require more training than the average dog. Overall, however, the AKC says that French Bulldogs are good for families with children due to their laid back, social nature and lack of aggression.

french bulldog gifofdogs GIF by Rover.comGiphy

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers

Part of the reason the 2022 list was so noteworthy was the change at the top, as these lists don't tend to change much year to year. In fact, the 2024 Most Popular Dog Breed list looks very similar to 2022, with no change at all in the top five spots and the next five spots only changing in order. In 2024, Dachshunds came in at #6, Beagles at #7, Rottweilers at #8, and Bulldogs at #9. German Shorthaired Pointers stayed the same at #10.

So congratulations, Frenchies for keeping your top dog spot for the third year in a row.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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