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How to criticize Caitlyn Jenner fairly — and oh, there's a lot to criticize.

A simple tip for tough discussions and disagreements.

Caitlyn Jenner has history of giving troubling sound bites.

In the wake of a shooting attack on Republican members of Congress, Jenner "joked" that "liberals can't even shoot straight." She once told BuzzFeed that, "the hardest part about being a woman is figuring out what to wear." During the 2016 election she said she wanted to be the "trans ambassador" for vehemently anti-LGBTQ politician Ted Cruz.

Take into account her public transition and her connection to the Kardashian family, there's no shortage of people ready and eager to call her out for comments like those.

I'm no fan of her, either. Trust me. Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images.

Though we can't know for sure Jenner's intent, her status as a public figure and her habit of saying offensive, inappropriate, and ill-informed things makes life for trans people like me that much harder. She wants to speak for my demographic, and yet, when she opens her mouth, she often says things I vehemently disagree with.

It's embarrassing. It's exhausting.

Also exhausting, however, is the reaction I see play out every time Jenner says something problematic.

For every on-point criticism of whatever it is Jenner said, there are waves of people who respond with transphobic comments and "jokes" that misgender her and refer to her by her old name.

It certainly seems as though many people feel that Jenner saying or doing something awful gives them the green light to let out some general anti-trans feelings on the world — even if by accident.

While those sorts of comments may be directed at her, they send a really unfortunate message to all trans people, implying that being called the correct name and pronoun is a privilege to be "earned" and that can later be revoked in the case of bad behavior.

Those types of comments suggest that the person making them is merely humoring trans people when using our correct pronouns and names instead of taking us at our word when it comes to who we are.

The bottom line is this: Calling Caitlyn Jenner a "man" or using her old name doesn't really address what makes her so objectionable.

There's a name for this kind of bad argument.

It's called "ad hominem," and it's basically when someone comes to an argument to insult someone's character or body as opposed to their ideas. It's a pretty weak way to make a point, and honestly, it often affects more than the intended target.

Calling her a "man" sends a pretty rough message to other trans people. Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

So how can you criticize Caitlyn Jenner without being transphobic? Simple: Avoid ad hominem.

After Jenner's comments about the congressional shooting began circulating, here's an exchange I saw take place on Twitter:

One person posted a link to the recent story about her "liberals can't even shoot straight" comments. Out of nowhere, people replied to that tweet calling her a man, saying things about how her "real name" was "Bruce," and lots of stuff that had nothing to do with the stupid thing that she actually said.

A better way to respond would be to criticize her comments as being offensive or inappropriate in the wake of the tragedy she was talking about.

What if you just won't be satisfied unless you can crack a joke? LGBTQ activist Dan Savage pretty much nailed it with his response to her comments: "The liberal black lesbian married cop who took out the shooter got the job done."

Boom. Critical. Funny. Most importantly, not-transphobic.

There's nothing wrong with criticizing Caitlyn Jenner — whether the person doing the criticizing is trans or not.

Just because ad hominem attacks aren't OK doesn't mean Jenner gets some sort of "free pass" to say troubling things unchecked. It doesn't mean she shouldn't be held accountable for her words or that she shouldn't be criticized for her views or politics.

If people feel the need to criticize her for her political views, her charmed reality TV life, or her actions, they absolutely should do that. Believe me, there is plenty there to address.

There's just no need to bring transphobia into it.

Clarification 6/20/2017: A previous version of this post stated Jenner means well with her comments; it was updated to reflect that we don't know her intent.

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5 ways people are going "All In" this week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples this week.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture a color-coordinated, fairy-themed surprise proposal that took months to create, or maybe you think of a singer who went on stage and nailed the perfect high note in front of everyone (like this girl). Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Going “all in” means doing something with total commitment—literally giving it your “all” and going completely over the top. No second guessing, no holding back—just full-throttle enthusiasm with some creativity and flair thrown in. That’s how we get those viral internet moments we can’t stop watching.

When people decide to go “all in,” something special usually happens as a result, and we’re here to show you how. This week, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in” across the Internet—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Follow along and feel inspired.

Hamilton superfans 

@itz.unique POV: You seen Hamilton the first night in theaters #hamiltonmusical #fyp #relatable #hamilton ♬ original sound - Uniii 😜

You already know we love a good Hamilton reenactment. This past weekend, though, Hamilton fans took their love for the musical to a whole other level. As theatres released the filmed stage production in honor of the musical’s tenth anniversary on Broadway, theatre kids everywhere showed up in costume and belted out every single word (it’s okay to sing in the theatre this time, by the way! Hamilton creator and star Lin-Manuel Miranda totally said we could). Some theatres sang along quietly, some chimed in loudly at the emotional parts, and some theatres truly went all in, staging elaborate reproductions of the scenes in the aisles, in time with the music. A bunch of theatre kids totally nerding out together, having fun, and celebrating good art? We love to see it.

Everyone's love of Pumpkin Spice Lattes

@deangelodbyrd It’s hereeee 😂🍂 #pumpkinspicelatte #fall2025 #funnyvideo #silly #funnydance @Starbucks ♬ original sound - DeAngelo

You know it's fall when you start seeing those plastic cups everywhere. That's right—it's Pumpkin Spice Latte season. Everyone is drinking them. Everyone is posting about them. Everyone is figuring out the perfect PSL pairing, whether that's pumpkin spice matcha lattes or just drinking a PSL curled up on the couch watching some spooky movies. (How about all of the above?)

Here's our recommendation: Pumpkin spice lattes pair perfectly with All In snack bars—specifically the Madagascar Vanilla + Almond option. It's got honey, it's got pumpkin seeds, and it's even got tons of fiber so you're getting some nutrition along with all the deliciousness. Don't take our word for it, though: Click here to try it yourself (for free).

This rendition of the Happy Birthday song

@kamoramakaylee Happy 84th birthday to our dad #tbt ♬ original sound - Kamora

There’s singing the Happy Birthday song, and then there’s singing the Happy Birthday song. This group of sisters did the latter. For their father’s birthday, they presented him with a cake (aww) and then launched into an embellished musical production of the last two lines that would put Whitney Houston to shame. The girls truly went all in, but perhaps the best part of this entire video is their dad,sitting wide-eyed at the table and gritting his teeth until the performance is over. (“He’s fine,” someone said in the comments section. “He lost his hearing ten birthdays ago.”)

Llama costumes

@kristeninmn Some of the costumes from the Minnesota State Fair’s 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest! #minnesotastatefair #mnstatefair #exploremn #onlyinmn #stpaulminnesota ♬ Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra

Every year at the Minnesota State Fair, the 4-H Llama-Alpaca Costume Contest steals the show. In it, participants dress their llamas in wildly imaginative costumes—everything from a sea anemone to a bucket of popcorn to Buzz Lightyear from the movie Toy Story—and transform the livestock barn into a whimsical runway. Every glittery cape, hand-painted prop, or themed outfit is a testament to their creativity, their time and effort, and most importantly their love for animals. All of it is on full display and it’s seriously impressive work. You can tell when it comes to their animals (and creativity), Minnesotans don’t hold back.

This dog who's totally faking it. 

@binkythechichi2

The king of drama

♬ original sound - cass

Okay, you have to give this guy some respect—he really doesn’t want his owner to go to work and he’s found an absolutely genius way of showing it. As soon as her alarm goes off in the morning, TikTok creator Cassidy Butler shared that her chihuahua Binky runs to the front door and actually starts faking injuries to get her to stay home with him (and sometimes, she admits, it works). Binky is absolutely committed, holding up his paw as though it were injured, plus shivering and even squinting one eye to show just how injured he is. He’s almost perfectly convincing—until Cassidy offers to take him outside to play and he momentarily breaks character. Oops! Still, we respect his dedication to the craft.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Just pick up a box at Sprouts and text a pic of your receipt to get it for free. Enoy!

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A hundred years ago, everyone wore hats. In 1960, they suddenly stopped. Here's why.

Old footage from the '50s shows men, women, and children wearing hats everywhere they go.

via Warmbru Curiosity/YouTube

When did everyone stop wearing hats?

It was everywhere. Men, women, and even children did it every time they left the house. If you see old newsreel footage of men in the office or on commuter trains from the advent of the motion picture camera to the early ‘60s, nearly everyone is wearing a hat. Hats were just as common for women in that era. For a woman to go out without a hat in the first half of the 20th century was akin to going out without clothes.

The funny thing is that everyone’s headgear is so similar in the old-timey footage that it makes previous generations look like big-time conformists. Then, in the early ‘60s, everything changed, and men and women started to go out in public with their hair exposed. Why did such a big aspect of fashion seem to change overnight?

Warmbru Curiosity investigated the question recently in a popular YouTube video. Warmbru’s channel is a lighthearted look at some of the more unusual people and events from our history and how they have influenced the world in which we live.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Why did people stop wearing hats?

Warmbru says fashion changed dramatically after World War II, when people in developed countries began to care less about expressing their social status. “This was especially true among the younger generation the rise of youth culture in the 1950s and 1960s emphasized rebellion against traditional norms, including formal dress codes,” the YouTuber says.

Mad Men, Don Draper, Jon Hamm, hats, mens fashion, men's hats, 1950s Don Draper from AMC's "Mad Men" Image via "Mad Men" AMC

Another big reason for the change in fashion was technology. Cars became the preferred mode of transportation for many after World War II and indoor environments became more hospitable. “People spent far less time exposed to the elements as people increasingly moved to urban areas and started using cars,” Warmbru says. “The practicality of wearing hats diminishes. Hats can be cumbersome in cars and on public transport, improvements in heating and air conditioning reduce the need for hats to provide warmth.”

Warmbru adds that President John F. Kennedy, elected in 1960, rarely wore a hat and his decision to go bareheaded became associated with modernity. Further, in 1963, the mop-topped Beatles proudly flaunted their hatless heads as they shook them while singing, “Wooooo.” Hat-wearing among women began to decline around the same time as the restrictive and complex headgear clashed with the burgeoning women’s liberation movement.

Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, Jackie Kennedy, hats, men, men's fashion, 1960's, 1950's John F. Kennedy with his family Image via Wikicommons

The decline in hat purchases meant that manufacturers closed and the headgear became harder to come by. This reduced availability further contributed to the decline in hat-wearing. As fewer people wore hats, there became a greater demand for high-quality hair products and services. “Why spend a fortune at the hairdressers or the barbers just to cover the end result with a hat?” Warmbru asks.

Ultimately, there were many reasons why people stopped wearing hats. It appears that it was a combination of technology, influential people such as Kennedy and The Beatles, and the overwhelming mood of change that swept most of the Western world in the 1960s. But if one thing is true about fashion, it goes in cycles. So, it seems that hats may be ready for their big comeback.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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How humanitarian parole programs help migrant families in crisis

Through her work as a humanitarian parole sponsor, Sandra McAnany has helped uplift more than a dozen Latin American migrants and changed lives in the process.

Sandra visiting E’s family in Georgia (2023)

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Sandra McAnany isn’t one to sit on the sidelines. A 58-year-old grandmother from Wisconsin, McAnany spends her days teaching soft skills classes to adults and spending time with her family. Outside the classroom, however, she’s taken on a role that’s helping people in a big way: serving as a humanitarian parole sponsor and personally taking on the financial responsibility of supporting families fleeing from persecution, violence, and instability.

Since 2023, McAnany has welcomed 17 migrants—11 adults and six children through the CHNV humanitarian parole program, which allows individuals and families from Cuba, Haiti, Nicaragua and Venezuela to live and work temporarily in the United States with the support of an approved sponsor.

“Everyone has their own views and perspectives, but every person I sponsored is thriving and doing well here,” McAnany said.

McAnany didn’t know any of the parolees before sponsoring them, but she had a commitment to helping families from Venezuela specifically, hoping to reunite them with their families who were already living in the United States. After “praying a lot along the way” and communicating with the applicants through WhatsApp, she decided to apply as a sponsor and help them settle into the United States.

“I have a bedroom and a bathroom in my basement,” McAnany says. “My door is open and will always be open for any of the people I sponsored, if they ever have a need for housing.”

Sandra’s granddaughter, E’s daughter, and another friend at an indoor park (July 2025)

At the time, McAnany decided to volunteer as a sponsor to make friends and help other people through hardship. Now, her mission has grown: Seeing how humanitarian parole programs have changed her parole beneficiaries’ lives—as well as her own—for the better.

Humanitarian parole: A long history

Humanitarian parole programs are nothing new. Since 1952, both Democratic and Republican administrations have used humanitarian parole to provide a safer, lawful pathway for noncitizens to enter and live temporarily in the United States. In recent years, through different programs, people from Afghanistan, Ukraine, Cuba, Haiti, and other countries have been able to come to the U.S. to escape urgent crises in their own countries, such as political instability or war.

Coming to the United States through humanitarian parole is no easy feat. The process has its own strict criteria and involves extensive applications and vetting for both beneficiaries and their sponsors. Parolees don’t need to qualify for any other immigration benefit like asylum, but they need to meet the standard for humanitarian parole and successfully pass vetting requirements.

According to Refugees International, 532,000 people have been granted parole through the CHNV program.

A life-changing experience

From the moment she met her first parole beneficiaries at the airport—two families —McAnany already knew it would be a life-changing experience. “It immediately felt like family, like we were lifelong friends,” she said. But she could also sense that it was a culture shock for the parolees. On the way home from the airport, McAnany pulled into a nearby McDonald's and encouraged them to order dinner. Hearing the word “Big Mac,” the families smiled in recognition.

Despite the culture shock, McAnany’s parole beneficiaries had to adapt quickly to life in the United States. Once they were settled, McAnany worked “nonstop” to help the families acclimate to their new lives, answering questions about school and vaccinations while also helping them create resumes, search for jobs, and find English classes online.

It was through this process that McAnany realized just how resilient people could be, and was amazed “not only how hard it was for individuals to leave their loved ones behind, but the amount of work they did to come to the country and remain here.” McAnany also realized how fortunate she was to have her own family living nearby. “I can’t imagine any one of us leaving a country and being apart for an unknown length of time,” she said.

Eventually, and as circumstances changed—one of the parolees found a new job in another city, for example, and was able to move out. But no matter the length of time they spent with each other, McAnany says that with every parolee they formed a bond built for life. One woman, who she refers to as ‘E,’ has even become “like an adopted daughter.” McAnany has traveled to Georgia, where E now lives, three times to visit her.

Uncertain ground: What’s next for humanitarian parole programs

Despite being a critical part of immigration policy in the United States for the last 73 years, humanitarian parole programs are under threat. Immigrant justice nonprofits Justice Action Center and Human Rights First are currently suing the federal government to protect humanitarian parole programs and allow parole beneficiaries to remain in the country for the duration of their parole. McAnany is a plaintiff in the lawsuit.

One of the ladies Sandra sponsored from Venezuela and her partner during Sandra’s first visit to meet her (December 2023)

Participating in the lawsuit has only further bolstered McAnany’s belief in and support for humanitarian parole programs. She hopes the lawsuit will be successful, she says, so that parole beneficiaries and their families can finally have some stability.

“We don’t know what the future is,” she says, “but I want to be optimistic and hopeful that every person I sponsored will be able to stay here safely in the U.S. and continue to thrive.”

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.


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Homeowners share the surprise 'hidden gems' they discovered after they bought their house

From the beautiful to the bizarre, people were not expecting these when they moved in.

Photo credit: Canva

Even when you check every nook and cranny, there tends to be something that goes unnoticed.

Buying a home is a milestone that often comes with many surprise discoveries that happen long after you sign on the dotted line. And while that sometimes includes unpleasant discoveries (like pests, foundational damage, or even unsettling left behind items), there are just as many stories about people being completely delighted by treasures they had no idea their home tucked away.

One Redditor asked people to share the hidden gems they discovered after moving into their homes, and the responses turned into a really fun and fascinating read.

Whether you’re a chronic renter looking to live vicariously or a fellow homeowner, this thread is sure to have something for everyone. Keep scrolling.

Old-timey relics

“I found the original owner's wedding rings... the mother died in childbirth in 1928. The dad died in an accident in 1932. We bought the house from the daughter, who was in a nursing home, in 2001. She had been raised by an aunt and had never been back to the house. I sent her the rings and a bunch of photos. She was ecstatic to receive them. She died and left me as her sole heir... it was only like 10k, but super nice. Plus, I got the rings back…”

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit two vintage rings Photo credit: Canva

“A large mason jar filled with a bunch of old silver coins…Ended up contacting the selling realtor and shipping it to him. Months later I got a check for the shipping price and a 1940 mercury dime that I’ve been using as a golf ball marker ever since.”

“Newspapers from 1928 underneath the tile/vinyl/rubber floors. They have advertisements for coal and ice and Vaudeville shows with blackface characters, Calvin Coolidge shooting a shotgun on the front page, and the big sports story was 2 completed forward passes in a football game.”

“I was taking apart one of the old out buildings to turn it into a little studio. On the back side of the wall panel there was a huge hand painted sign for some old timey snake oil cure all remedy. I’m going to see if I can get it restored and put it in the studio as art.”

“A 200 year old wheelchair, a Victorian ladies side saddle and complete bridal set, a hand sewn straw stuffed teddy bear from the Roosevelt era, a regulation sized carom table from 1850 and an organ built by a famous Detroit music instrument manufacturer from the 19'aughts.”

Unexpected upgrades

“In-floor heating. The previous owner didn't know it existed. Worked great.”

“A laundry chute. A door in the bathroom and another in the kitchen, it ends up next to the washing machine in the basement.”

“A working sauna-- like a walk-in two bench dry sauna with a spray-rock setup. Somehow during the three walk-throughs, we assumed it was a linen closet.”

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit A welcoming outdoor saunaPhoto credit: Canva

“A cupboard that wasn’t packed. Had a fry daddy, various teas, a French press and $50 in an envelope.”

“The whole house is made of concrete. From the foundation, to the reinforced concrete walls up to the ceiling. Then if that wasn’t enough, there’s massive concrete pillars and railways metal beams reinforcing everything. This is for a bungalow home that is ~1400sq ft. Inspector said we could take the roof off and add a whole level without requiring additional support.”

“All the doors in my condo were white flat/slab doors…They ended up being solid wood doors…with a mahogany veneer and a beautiful inlay…They are gorgeous [and] are definitely original to the 1922 building!”

Beautiful doors from 1920s
byu/llinn10 incenturyhomes

“I had to do some work on the upstairs plumbing that required cutting into my ceiling downstairs. I was shocked to find that the ceilings had been dropped by almost 2.5’. I have 12’ ceilings!”

“Upstairs laundry room (and it has a window and storage closet!), right next to all of the bedrooms. It wasn’t mentioned or pictured in the listing, but it was a huge selling point for me. I used to have to go down two flights of stairs carrying a heavy hamper in order to do laundry in the dark garage next to spiders and stuff 😬 our movers weren’t happy that they had to bring our washer and dryer upstairs, but I’m thrilled 😅😆”

“Our toilet leaked so we repaired it and ripped out the living room carpet it had leaked to. Found beautiful red oak floor that we had sanded and stained, looks great. Found the same in the bedroom too covered up with boring carpet.”

Cold Hard Cash

“My brother found a few $50s in a light fixture shortly after he moved in after the bulb blew. He decided to look at the other fixtures… found $750 or so hidden around.”

“Just found $2500 in a bag underneath my bathtub when I removed it! Elderly ex-owners are great.”

“ $200 hidden in the freezer door.”

“Bought a nice sized piece of property with a rickety cabin on it…Inside an open safe welded to a steel plate bolted to the floor and framed with cement was about 50 ounces of gold and approximately $30,000 in cash. Each gold bar and round had a 💛 stamped in it.”

Gorgeous nature views that somehow went unlisted

“The area behind our house was just brush and not very impressive. But the city ended up buying it and re-wilding it. For the first five years, they just let it grow and then they did a controlled burn and now we have a forest with walking path behind our house 10 years later. And every June for the whole month, it’s full of fresh wild raspberries. We have a herd of deer, a fox, ground squirrels, squirrels, hawks, eagles, wild pheasants, and hundreds of rabbits. It was like winning the lottery.”

“A strawberry patch in the back yard. We bought the house in the winter so we didn’t discover it until the spring. We have enjoyed it ever since.”

“A biiiiiiiiiiiig wild rose bush growing at the far end of the property. It's so beautiful and fragrant in the spring.”

“We purchased a house that had fabulous views of the Chesapeake Bay...water view wasn't mentioned in the listing. “

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit A window overlooking a beautiful viewPhoto credit: Canva

“The home was a gorgeous mid-century perched high on a hill. We walked inside and thick heavy curtains blocked a wall of windows that lined the rear of the home. We opened the curtains and realized the home had panoramic views from the mountains to the ocean. Absolutely ZERO mention of the views at all (I even saved the listing because we were so shocked). We made an offer immediately. “

“An incredible mountain view- we toured and purchased our home in the winter in Oregon, so primarily overcast/grey weather that time of year. The first sunny, clear day, we look out our back window and BAM, clear shot of Mt. Saint Helens. Was an incredibly pleasant surprise considering there was no mention of the view in the listing.”

“A giant apple tree in the back yard. We knew about it when we bought the house, but we had no idea how productive it would be. I bought a fruit press, and I put away up to 10 gallons of cider every summer.”

Hidden Art

“Two huge aboriginal art paintings in the roof were discovered when having solar panels installed. We had to smash the garage ceiling to get them out but it was worth it.”

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit Aboriginal art i.imgur.com

“When we first toured the house, the walls were full of paintings - the seller's late husband was a prolific amateur artist. A few months after we moved in, we discovered a rolled-up canvas in our bedroom closet, which, upon unrolling we also discovered ... a topless portrait of the seller.”

Surprise Pets

“The former owners were moving across the country. They wound up leaving me most of their furniture and their [10 year old] cat (with my consent, of course) Nice furniture and the best cat ever!”

“When I was a kid we moved into a house (rental) that came with TWO amazing cats!!! They had been straight abandoned by the previous tenants, and were pretty thin and bedraggled when we moved in. When we had to move out of that house, the boy would wander around howling in anguish and pawing at the boxes. We realized he remembered his previous owners packing their stuff in boxes before abandoning him. When we packed him in the car and took him to the new place he purred the whole time. We let him down in the new house, and he pranced around for days, flopping over at every possible moment, and rubbing himself on all the walls. So happy.”

“Our house, unknowingly, came with a turkey. . . who showed up the day after we moved in and would randomly poop on our deck. We named him Levi, after our realtor who helped us buy the house.”

Secret rooms…just like in the movies!

“Found a secret room behind a bookshelf, like something outta a spy movie. Turns out, it's a perfect hideaway for all my junk.”

“This happened to my cousin! A bookshelf in their 1920s home swung out to reveal storage under the stairs. They found a cheap sci-fi book from the 80s, a flashlight, and a snack wrapper in there.“

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit A bookcase door leading to a secret roomPhoto credit: Canva

Heartwarming sings from the universe

“When my wife and I bought our forever home, I kept finding railway spikes every time I would drag the gravel driveway. My great-grandfather on my dad's side used to own a logging business just a few miles from here. Did some digging into it and found that all of the logs in my log home came from his business in the 60's. It's kind of nice to think that this home was meant to be mine.”

“In college, I rented an off-campus house. On move-in day I was walking around with my landlord when we opened a closet door to see a bunch of my dad’s friends' names scratched into the wall - It had been their house about 30 years prior! Was awesome having them come visit and tell us all their old college stories, more of a fun coincidence than a gem, but it was so crazy to find.””

…and just some really weird stuff…

“Basement wall folded down into a tabletop train setup.”

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit A Murphy bed that hid a model train setup i.imgur.com

home buying, first time homebuyer, homebuying tips, buying a home, realtor, real estate, ask reddit A Murphy bed that hid a model train setup i.imgur.com

“Not necessarily a gem....but we've found close to about 50 pairs of scissors randomly in our backyard. All different types and sizes. Very odd.”

“A creepy mural painted on a front room wall that was invisible at first glance because it was painted in that UV fluorescent paint…It was a bunch of eyes, snakes, and triangles… The eyes were the creepiest part.”

Treasures that brought smiles

“A Walmart employee of the month award. Go Janice!”

“The previous owner of our house was the daughter of a super high profile attorney, she was a high level exec of a bank, so they had eff you money. She left behind a mini fridge completely stuffed with brand new, unopened, high end cosmetics—serums, lotions, makeup, hair products, supplements, the works. That felt like a major score.”

“Literally found a gem: a diamond stud earring that I heard clinking around inside our vacuum cleaner while I was cleaning our basement a few weeks after we moved in. It was bigger than the diamond engagement ring I originally gave my wife 2 years earlier. She added the new diamond to her existing ring.”

And for some, the gems came in the form of people…

“The hidden gem was our neighbors. 2 other young families bought just after us and we are all great friends. Our other neighbour is an elderly lady. It makes such a difference having nice neighbors.”

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A dad was camping with his kids when a fellow camper slipped him this handwritten note

"From one dad to another."

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

There are a lot of challenging things about being a parent; take your pick. The sleep deprivation, the overwhelming responsibility, the lack of free time. But truly, one of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."

The note reads:

Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A handwritten note with the words "good job!" on itPhoto credit: Canva

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard.""I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A man smilingPhoto credit: Canva

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

dads, giving men compliments, fatherhood, camping, camping with kids A dad with his kid on his shouldersPhoto credit: Canva

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Dad showed his 10-year-old son E.T. and his emotional reaction is triggering Gen X nostalgia

Gen Alpha, phone home.

Photo Credit: Canva, Wiki Commons, Universal Pictures

E.T. is chilling in a basket. Elliott takes E.T. for a bike ride.

One can't fully be prepared for the emotional splash of waterworks that come with viewing Steven Spielberg's masterpiece E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (better known as simply E.T.). This is especially true upon seeing it for the first time. Nothing of its kind had ever quite been attempted and while often imitated as an homage to Spielberg, it hasn't been replicated.

The film, about an adorable extraterrestrial who befriends a boy named Elliott (played by Henry Thomas) after a spaceship accidentally leaves him behind, is a love letter to cinema. It won Oscars, broke box office records, and changed filmmaking forever, as many Spielberg movies tend to do.

For many Gen-Xers like myself, this film helped shape our childhoods. It gave us dolls, repeatable dialogue, and our own delicious candy (fun fact: Spielberg initially wanted M&Ms to be the treats Elliott leaves as a trail to lure E.T. to safety, but the Mars Company declined, so Reese's Pieces became iconic). For an extra layer of magic, I saw it the weekend it came out in 1982, at the exact age Elliott was in the film. It introduced me and many of my friends to the vastness of the universe and the importance of kindness across dimensions.

-A scene from Spielberg's film E.T. www.youtube.com, Universal Pictures

Now, Gen-Xers are showing it to their kids to get their reactions. On the Subreddit r/scifi, a self-described "ceramics guy" who loves nature, science, and sci-fi posted, "Just watched ET for the first time since I was a kid, with my son who is the same age now as I was then." Under this caption, he gave the experience a review: "10 out of 10 would absolutely recommend. What an incredible film. And getting to see my son watch it for the first time was even better than seeing it the first time myself."

Many commenters agree. One actually took their 10-year-old son to see it in the theater when it made the rounds recently. "I had the pleasure of taking my 10 yr old son and his best mate to see ET for the first time in our local cinema last year. It was magical and still absolutely holds its own, despite some scenes looking pretty basic with the CGI kids are used to now. Was great watching their faces and seeing them get totally hooked in emotionally. My son is a big fan of Stranger Things and he was loving the 80s vibes."

E.T., Spielberg, movies, Gen X E.T. looks up. Giphy GIF by MANGOTEETH

Lots of Redditors discuss the unabashedly earnest tear-jerking tactics. "One of the first movies I can remember as a tearjerker," one said. "I can remember being 6 or 7 and crying but not having the emotional maturity to understand why."

The film touches on friendship, but perhaps more than that—the idea of a touchstone. E.T. forms a beautiful bond with Elliott, but still longs for his home. So when he assembles a Speak & Spell as a communication device and starts muttering "E.T. phone home," there wasn't a dry eye in the theater. Spielberg threw in a seven-year-old pigtailed Drew Barrymore, a Golden Retriever mix, and a moonlit bike ride to cement the deal that we were all going to bawl. He showed no mercy.

The "I'll be right here" scene from Spielberg's E.T. www.youtube.com, Universal Pictures, MovieClips

Tod Perry, my colleague at Upworthy, also just recently watched E.T. with his child. He shared that they both loved it and openly wept. He further noted, "The big takeaways were the kids in that movie are so feral and unsupervised compared to kids today. Like Elliott stays home from school, alone. Normal then, criminal today. That and Spielberg pulls absolutely no punches, goes for the jugular with how emotional that movie is."

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The one reason Americans can't build quaint, walk-up apartments like they have in Europe

The stairs themselves are the problem in North America, though that's starting to change.

via About Here/YouTube

Why North America can't build European-style apartments.

One of the most beautiful features of old European neighborhoods are the rows of quaint, walk-up apartments that are the backbone of walkable neighborhoods. They help create a community where people can exit their front door and walk to a local café or market without getting in their car.

Unfortunately, these neighborhoods are hard to find in the United States, where these types of apartment buildings are exceedingly rare. Why is that? In the video below, About Here’s founder, Uytae Lee, explains why regulations in North America have made these quaint walk-up apartments, known by architects as point access blocks, nearly impossible to build.

apartment buildings, quaint walk-up Who doesn't love a quaint apartment building?Giphy

Uytae Lee is an urban planner and videographer passionate about sharing stories about our cities.

“Quaint walk-up apartments … are a beloved feature in cities around the world,” Lee says in his video entitled “Why North Americans Can’t Have Nice Apartments.” “They’re inviting and full of character. But, here in North America, they are not allowed to be built today. Instead, our apartments are big and imposing, often stretching across the entire block and the reason why it really comes down to one reason: staircases.”

- YouTubeyoutu.be

The problem is that one stairway in a point access block allows access to all apartments. This became a problem in the late 1800s when fires were commonplace in urban areas worldwide and people were more likely to die in a fire with only one exit route. So, in the U.S. and Canada, they created new regulations that made it so all buildings over two to three stories had to have two staircases to allow them to exit during a fire.

“Staircases take up a lot of space and fitting two of them in a small building means that there is much less usable floor space on every floor,” Lee says in the video. “As a result, developers here construct much larger buildings so that the staircases and hallways take up a much smaller proportion of the overall building. It's why apartments in North America, in general, are much bigger and wider than their European counterparts.”

staircase in tall building Regulations on staircases limit housing possibilities in the U.S and Canada.Giphy

But there are fires in Europe, too. Why did they stop short of requiring multiple staircases in apartment buildings on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean? Instead of changing the floorplans on new buildings, Europeans opted to require fireproof materials in new building construction. A big reason why the U.S. and Canada opted for larger buildings over fireproofing was because they had better access to materials and the new direction aligned with the move towards suburban sprawl.

The two-staircase regulations in the U.S also made it harder to build units greater than one bedroom because the buildings needed long hallways which reduced the number of layout options.

The current housing crisis has many rethinking the regulations that require apartment buildings to have two stairways in North America. Many urban planners believe that modern-day demands mean we should return to building more point access block buildings, but this time with modern fire-retardant materials.

In some cities, such as Seattle, Washington, lawmakers have repealed staircase mandates and begun building point access block housing to ease the crisis. And more appear to be joining the movement.

“Now, if all this makes you a bit nervous, I get it. After all, these codes are about our safety. But I do want to mention that these codes do change over time as our technology and our understanding of safety evolves,” Lee finishes the video. “It’s important that we discuss and update these rules as our world changes.”

Pew Charitable Trust reports that small, single-stairway apartments actually have a strong safety record, sharing that those kinds of buildings as tall as six stories are "at least as safe as other types of housing." As we gather data and learn more, we should be able to adjust our regulations. So maybe, hopefully, there are more quaint apartment buildings in our future.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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