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Real men share the simple but challenging keys to 'winning' your 40s

Your body may not be at its peak anymore, but your life can be.

Real men share the simple but challenging keys to 'winning' your 40s
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One thing almost all of us have in common is a fear of getting older. Besides the obvious reckoning with our own mortality that comes along with aging, we're also forced to deal with unavoidable realities like a changing physical appearance (rarely for the better), mental decline, a body that can't do what it used to, and more. Fun stuff!

40 seems to be the magic number where people really begin to seriously reckon with getting older, a la a midlife crisis. The idea of a midlife crisis is usually played as a joke — middle-aged men buying flaming red sports cars — but can be a significant milestone in most people's lives where they really reflect on what matters and what their priorities will be for the remainder of their lives.

In fact, this time of reflection (and a bit of freaking out!) can actually be a good thing. Studies show that people overall tend to get happier and more satisfied as they get older, even into and beyond your 30s, 40s, and 50s. (Things tend to get a bit bumpy around your 70s, I'm sorry to say.)

So if you're on a collision course with your 40s, don't fret. You may not be able to avoid wrinkles and a creaky back, but your 40s can be the best decade of your life. If you know how to approach them.


40s man standing on beach during daytime Photo by Rana Sawalha on Unsplash

A recent Reddit thread on AskMenOver30 went viral and was chock full of incredible advice for "winning" your 40s. The advice was written for and by men, but could just as easily be applied to anyone.

The original poster, broccolisubstantial2, wrote:

"I turned 40 a few years back, and let me tell you—this decade hit differently. It's like life sends you an email marked 'URGENT,' and suddenly, you’re questioning your health, career, relationships, and whether or not you should actually start flossing.

"But here’s the thing: the 30s and 40s aren’t a crisis—they’re an upgrade. Here’s how I’ve approached it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, wins, and struggles too."

Prioritize physical health, within reason

Started lifting regularly—not to look like Thor (though that’d be cool), but to future-proof my body. I eat better, but still smash the occasional burger because life is short. Sleep? Non-negotiable. 7 hours minimum. Don’t let the 20-year-olds shame you for it. - broccolisubstantial2

Exercise...walk, hike, bike, swim, lift whatever. It makes a huge odds. I'm mid 50s and have been exercising regularly for 25 years. It's only now I can really see the benefit. Mates who have not looked after themselves are getting ill e.g. diabetes (3 in past year), heart disease and heart attack (1 in past year), obesity (too many). This is only going to get worse. - assistantbitter2205

One big thing: skin care. I get monthly facials with the detail work (lady lurkers will know what I’m talking about) and they have made a massive difference. My skin is healthy and I look as though I just turned 40 rather than staring at 48. So gentlemen—facials. Get them, get the details, and prepare to experience exquisite pain getting your blackheads cleared out of your nose once a month. But the payoff is worth it. - mnemnosine

Doctors agree that sleep, exercise, and avoiding too much drugs and alcohol are the best things you can do for your body's longevity. Oh, and go to the doctor, for crying out loud! Looking at you, men.

Career? Less is more

I stopped chasing "success" and started chasing satisfaction. Learned to say “no” at work. If you’re not being paid for 24/7 availability, don’t give it. Investing in skills, not just a job. ... Now I work smart, not endlessly. - broccolisubstantial2

Actually pursuing becoming a full time landscape artist. Work smarter not endlessly is gold. - drvanostranmd

Dude it legitimately changed my life when at 25 I realized that my go on life is not to succeed but to be content with the life I have. ... Am I successful in my job? No but I'm making enough money to live, save up some, and buy myself nice things when I want all while my job doesn't take up too much of my time. - ninjabladeJr

Wellness Camille Styles says settings boundaries with work is huge at this age. Volunteering for every extra project and saying Yes to everything to get ahead is a game for your 20s and maybe 30s. Your 40s are the moment to begin respecting your own time.

Relationships matter more than ever

man sitting beside two woman on gray surface Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Friendships: They shrink, but that’s fine. Quality over quantity, lads. Dating/Marriage: Communicate like your life depends on it. It probably does. Family: Yeah, call your mum. - broccolisubstantial2

The biggest priority is to continue to like my wife even though we're mostly just co-parents right now and sometimes friends. If we can make it to the youngest being out of the little stage then I think I'll have a great marriage to look forward to in my 40s. - htom_sirvoux

Stop wilfully interacting with people who are energy vampires. Used to have a buddy who was a chronic yes man, and would say whatever he thought you wanted to hear. I don’t have the energy to try and figure out whether you’re being honest or not. See ya. This has also furthered my resolve to say what I mean and mean what I say. Which is difficult, as I used to really enjoy biting sarcasm. - stockuser42

You may find your 40s is a time you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone to make new friends. If you've lost touch with many and found your social circle too whittled down, don't be afraid to join a new club, take a class, or volunteer to strike up some new bonds.

Investing in mental health will keep you young

Therapy is not a weakness. It's like squats for your brain. Journaling once a week helped me declutter my thoughts. - broccolisubstantial2

Another life hack for someone of any age: mindfulness and being present. This is essentially a social super power that makes everyone involved feel awesome. So many things are vying for our attention these days. Someone who will calmly listen, marinate in your words, and respond in an appropriate and salient way is extremely rare. It really does not take much effort. Just imagine the person you’re talking to has something of value, and that that moment is currently the most important thing in your life. - mrrabblerouser

Experts agree that presence and mindfulness are huge for feeling happy and satisfied in your 40s and beyond. If you haven't already, now would be a great time to try meditation or journaling to help you with gratitude for each day.

Do whatever makes you happy, and do more of it

Picked up hobbies I abandoned in my 20s (any other late-night painters here?). Said yes to things I thought I was “too old” for (running at 39? Why not?). Prioritised experiences over "stuff." A trip with friends beats a new phone any day. - broccolisubstantial2

I’m 43. Last week I saw a Lego set I wanted in 1986 at a vintage toy store, complete in box. I hesitated, but eventually circled back and bought it. It brought me a certain nostalgic joy that I haven’t experienced in a very long time. Men, nurture your inner child! - rjove

Experts say the key to happiness as you get older is freeing yourself from other people's expectations when it comes to things you enjoy. The more you can distance yourself from what other people think of you, the better off you'll be. Just do what you want more often and get better at saying No to things you don't want to do.

The thread OP admitted he had a midlife crisis around the time he turned 40 and did all the wrong things: Bought the stereotypical sports car, had an affair, poured himself into work, relied too much on substances. He worried so much about his life coming to an end that he almost destroyed it way too early when, predictably, none of those things actually worked.

That's why the crisis is sometimes necessary. Being afraid of aging can be a good thing when it helps us focus and reprioritize on what's really important, like our relationships, our health, and doing things we love.

Pretty simple when you get right down to it, right?

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Too young to be a Boomer, too old to be Gen X: Meet the microgeneration 'Generation Jones'

Generation Jones is made up of people born from 1954 to 1965.

generation jones, gen jones, gen jonesers, girls in 1970s, 1970s, teens 1970s
Image via Wikimedia Commons

Generation Jones is the microgeneration of people born from 1954 to 1965.

Generational labels have become cultural identifiers. These include Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z and Gen Alpha. And each of these generations is defined by its unique characteristics, personalities and experiences that set them apart from other generations.

But in-between these generational categories are "microgenerations", who straddle the generation before and after them. For example, "Xennial" is the microgeneration name for those who fall on the cusp of Gen X and Millennials.

And there is also a microgeneration between Baby Boomers and Gen X called Generation Jones, which is made up of people born from 1954 to 1965. But what exactly differentiates Gen Jones from the Boomers and Gen Xers that flank it?

- YouTube www.youtube.com

What is Generation Jones?

"Generation Jones" was coined by writer, television producer and social commentator Jonathan Pontell to describe the decade of Americans who grew up in the '60s and '70s. As Pontell wrote of Gen Jonesers in Politico:

"We fill the space between Woodstock and Lollapalooza, between the Paris student riots and the anti-globalisation protests, and between Dylan going electric and Nirvana going unplugged. Jonesers have a unique identity separate from Boomers and GenXers. An avalanche of attitudinal and behavioural data corroborates this distinction."

Pontell describes Jonesers as "practical idealists" who were "forged in the fires of social upheaval while too young to play a part." They are the younger siblings of the boomer civil rights and anti-war activists who grew up witnessing and being moved by the passion of those movements but were met with a fatigued culture by the time they themselves came of age. Sometimes, they're described as the cool older siblings of Gen X. Unlike their older boomer counterparts, most Jonesers were not raised by WWII veteran fathers and were too young to be drafted into Vietnam, leaving them in between on military experience.

How did Generation Jones get its name?

generation jones, gen jones, gen jones teen, generation jones teenager, what is generation jones A Generation Jones teenager poses in her room.Image via Wikmedia Commons

Gen Jones gets its name from the competitive "keeping up with the Joneses" spirit that spawned during their populous birth years, but also from the term "jonesin'," meaning an intense craving, that they coined—a drug reference but also a reflection of the yearning to make a difference that their "unrequited idealism" left them with. According to Pontell, their competitiveness and identity as a "generation aching to act" may make Jonesers particularly effective leaders:

"What makes us Jonesers also makes us uniquely positioned to bring about a new era in international affairs. Our practical idealism was created by witnessing the often unrealistic idealism of the 1960s. And we weren’t engaged in that era’s ideological battles; we were children playing with toys while boomers argued over issues. Our non-ideological pragmatism allows us to resolve intra-boomer skirmishes and to bridge that volatile Boomer-GenXer divide. We can lead."

@grownupdish

Are you Generation Jones? Definitive Guide to Generation Jones https://grownupdish.com/the-definitive-guide-to-generation-jones/ #greenscreen #generationjones #babyboomer #generationx #GenX #over50 #over60 #1970s #midlife #middleage #midlifewomen #grownupdish #over50tiktok #over60women #over60tiktok #over60club

However, generations aren't just calculated by birth year but by a person's cultural reality. Some on the cusp may find themselves identifying more with one generation than the other, such as being culturally more Gen X than boomer. And, of course, not everyone fits into whatever generality they happened to be born into, so stereotyping someone based on their birth year isn't a wise practice. Knowing about these microgenerational differences, however, can help us understand certain sociological realities better as well as help people feel like they have a "home" in the generational discourse.

As many Gen Jonesers have commented, it's nice to "find your people" when you haven't felt like you've fit into the generation you fall into by age. Perhaps in our fast-paced, ever-shifting, interconnected world where culture shifts so swiftly, we need to break generations into 10 year increments instead of 20 to 30 to give everyone a generation that better suits their sensibilities.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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3 types of ‘effortless’ psychology-based opening lines to start a conversation with anyone

Opening lines that are hard to refuse.

teenage boy, teenage girl, conversation, meeting people, talking
Photo credit:Canva/Photos

A teenage girl and boy having a nice chat.

You’re standing in line at the grocery store and you see someone cute. You’d like to strike up a conversation without it being awkward...but that feels kinda nerve-wracking, right? Or maybe you’re standing around at a party and see someone you’d like to get to know, and want to approach them in a way that doesn’t feel uncomfortable. That probably feels a little scary, too.

The good news is that with a few easy tricks, you can improve your communication skills and feel confident approaching anyone.

According to years of psychological research, several principles can help make striking up conversations with strangers easier. The great thing is that they all work best when approached in a casual, effortless way.

1. Comment on the environment

Let’s say you’re at a party in someone’s living room. You can comment on physical objects: “Gee, this guy sure has a lot of books.” Or maybe you’re at a party where everyone brought food: “The food smells great. What are you grabbing first?” You can also comment on people’s behavior: “Is it me, or is everyone really well dressed tonight?”

This works because of the Joint Attention Effect, which says that when two people pay attention to the same thing at the same time, they create a common point of reference. This shared focus can immediately make people feel closer, even in social situations.

man and woman, wine, social skills, conversation

2. Make a playful comment

People will usually respond when you make a playful or unexpected comment, as long as it isn’t threatening. For example, if the person you want to talk to is holding a cocktail, you might joke, “That drink looks serious.” If you’re stuck in a long line: “Do you know why we’re here? I almost forgot why we’re in line—it’s been so long.” Or if you’re at a child’s birthday party and spot another parent you’d like to talk to: “Be honest, how tired of Little Caesars’ pizza are you?”

This works because of the Benign Violations Theory, which suggests that when someone violates a social norm in a non-threatening way, it makes people laugh and activates bonding mechanisms. It signals to your new friend that you’re playful and friendly, and when they laugh at your joke, it shows that you share similar values.

man and woman, people laughing, sitting on couch, good company, jokes

3. Ask their opinion

Another effortless way to engage someone you don’t know is to ask their opinion. For example, if you’re in the produce section at the supermarket, you might ask, “Do these peaches look good to you?” Or if you’re at a party and bring up a pop culture moment most people watched: “So, was Bad Bunny great at the Super Bowl, or is he overrated?”

This works because of what’s known as Cognitive Ease: people are more likely to respond to questions that are easy to process. Asking someone for their subjective opinion is non-threatening, and it’s easy for them to come up with an answer that makes them feel comfortable. Plus, if social media has taught us anything, it’s that everyone loves to share their opinions.

drinks, bar, socializing, man and woman, party

Next step: Pivot and ask questions

Given that all of these strategies are psychologically designed to elicit a response, even from someone you’ve never met, you have a strong chance of sparking a conversation. The key is to widen the exchange once you get that response by asking two more questions. In fact, a Harvard University study found that one of the easiest ways to be likable is to start a conversation with a question and then follow up with two more.

“We identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,” the study's authors wrote. “People who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.”

These three psychological rules show that it doesn’t take a Herculean effort to coax a stranger into having a conversation. All you have to do is make an effortless invitation by tapping into the environment you share with them, make a playful joke, or ask their opinion. Then ask a few questions, listen, and there’s a good chance you’ve made a new friend.

Pop Culture

A nail salon's ads are so funny people are taking road trips to Canada just for a manicure

He puts a new twist on videos we all love.

nail salon ad; funny nail salon ad; Henry Pro Nails videos; viral videos; canada manicure; canadian nail tech
Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there, and without word-of-mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, many businesses can advertise their services without spending much on traditional marketing like television, billboards, and radio. Using pictures and videos of their amazing work to market can help maintain a steady flow of customers, but one Canadian nail salon is taking a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails which started in Toronto, Canada, is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video uses the beginnings of several viral clips, but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in to complete the viral moment in hilarious, unexpected ways.

HenryProNails takes viral videos and turns them into funny marketing

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears, lying out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, red nail polish, manicure, hands A woman getting her nails painted.via Canva/Photos


In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative, and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet-famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this one is, without a doubt, his most popular—and effective.

People love Henry's videos

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours, and it's only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately, it made all other places disappointing, and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.


In another hilarious video, Henry urges a woman not to divorce her husband for not cooking her dinner, but instead to come get her nails done so she'll feel a lot better.


Henry also jumped onto the "very demure, very mindful" trend on TikTok with his own take on the phrase.



It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what keeps them coming back. If you're ever in Canada and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared two years ago. It has been updated.

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Jim Henson interviewing with Muppets is a delightful reminder of his magical genius

Even adults would forget that his characters weren't actually alive.

jim henson, muppets, puppets, puppeteering, the muppet show
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Jim Henson with some of his Muppets

Few individuals have had an impact on the childhoods of millions and the imaginations of people of all ages like Jim Henson. From Sesame Street to The Muppet Show to The Dark Crystal and Labyrinth, Gen Xers grew up with Henson's magic being a familiar and comforting presence. And to this day, over three decades after his death, the characters he created are still household names.

For those of us who were raised on Big Bird, Bert and Ernie, Kermit, and Miss Piggy, Henson's creatures feel as real as any living, breathing performer from our childhoods. But it's not just because we were kids when we were introduced to them. Even adults who met the Muppets found themselves transported into Henson's imaginary world, and after seeing interviews of the puppeteer with his creatures, it's easy to see why.

Watch:

Henson didn't even pretend to not be controlling Kermit. He didn't bother with ventriloquism. And yet, Kermit feels truly alive and separate from the person animating him. It almost feels surreal. Or perhaps just...real.

Henson's characters even convinced film crew members

Both guests and crew members alike found themselves pulled into Henson's world, even while fully understanding that the puppets were being controlled by people. The crew would sometimes move the boom mic to a puppet instead of the puppeteer. Directors would sometimes give stage directions directly to the Muppet instead of the human animating it. Dick Cavett, who interviewed Henson with his Muppets, said, “No matter how much you know about this, it’s completely convincing.”

Even when a Muppet would explain the fact that the person was speaking to a puppet, it still seemed like a sentient being. Case in point:

(This may be the one time you see Henson swear, but in context, it's brilliantly wholesome.)

@guygilchrist

My old boss’s last public performance as Rowlf.🐶🙏🏻 . . #jimhenson #jimhensonscartoonist #themuppets #fyp #foryoupage



Frank Oz shared what it was like to work with Henson

Of course, Henson didn't work alone. Bringing his characters to life in all the ways he envisioned took the work of many people, but none were more aligned with Henson himself than his partner-in-puppetry, Frank Oz. Oz was the Miss Piggy to Henson's Kermit, the Bert to his Ernie, the Animal to his Dr. Teeth.

Oz started working with Henson when he was just 19 years old, and for 27 years the duo created unforgettable magic together. It wasn't just the puppets. It was the voices, the comedic timing, the way they could make you laugh in one moment and well up with tears in the next. Their creatures entertained us but also taught us about being human, which was a truly remarkable feat.

Oz shared what it was like to work with Henson with Gene Shalit after Henson's death in 1990:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Like Fred Rogers, Jim Henson is remembered for being a distinctly decent person in addition to his creative work. He brought the ancient art of puppetry into the modern world, touching every generation in his lifetime and after in a way that remains unmatched. As the tribute song "A Boy and His Frog" by Tom Smith says:

"They say, 'Oh that's foam and a wire, attached to a green velvet sleeve. Anyone can do that.' Well, that's true, I suppose, but who else can make them believe?" (Grab a tissue before listening to this song, Henson lovers. It's a doozy.)

- YouTube youtu.be

How his legacy lives on

Henson’s children, Lisa, Cheryl, Brian, John, and Heather, have carried on his work by running the Jim Henson Company and Jim Henson Foundation, performing themselves, and continuing to advocate for the art of puppetry. They've also kept Jim Henson's Creature Shop running, creating puppets, animatronics, and even digital puppetry. The shop designed and built the full-size animatronic puppets for the 2023 Five Nights at Freddy's movie and works on television, commercial, and themed projects as well.

In 2024, renowned director Ron Howard released a documentary about Henson's life and work, Jim Henson: Idea Man, which can be found on Disney +.

- YouTube www.youtube.com


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Malala Yousafzai's brother reveals beautiful sentiment about living in his sister's shadow

"I'm not in my sister's shadow. I'm in my sister's light."

Malala Yousafzai, Khushal Yousafziai Pakistan, siblings, support, family
Photo credit: Used with permission from Khushal Yousafzai

Malala Yousafzai and her brother, Khushal, pose for a photo.

Malala Yousafzai most certainly has a lot of light. At the young age of 11, she began advocating for education for girls after the Taliban took over her district of Swat in Pakistan. About three years later, she—alongside two other girls—was shot in the head on a bus for her passionate, outspoken views.

She survived and went on to address the United Nations about the importance of education. According to her nonprofit's website:

"The U.N. recognized July 12 as Malala Day, in honour of her courageous advocacy and to highlight the global struggle for education. With her father, her ally and inspiration, she established Malala Fund, an organisation dedicated to giving every girl the opportunity to learn and choose her own future."

Just one year later, she became the youngest-ever recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. She has received numerous awards, been honored by Time Magazine, and continues to inspire people around the world.

Recently, one of her younger brothers, Khushal Yousafzai, was speaking at the Oxford Scholars Program when he was asked whether he ever felt "overshadowed" by his sister's accomplishments. His answer was vulnerable, heartfelt, and lovely:

"My sister nearly died. Forget her winning the Nobel Prize. Forget her getting the limelight. I would give up my life for you to have a life. Death puts things into perspective like nothing else does."

He pauses, then says, "Why would her success take anything away from me? I'm not in my sister's shadow. I'm in my sister's light. And Rumi has this beautiful quote: 'A candle doesn't lose its light when it lights up another candle.' Actually makes the world a brighter place. It lights up the whole room."

He continues with a message about supporting the people you love:

"So guys, uplift each other. If you see your friend, uplift them. Because guess what? We all are gonna die someday. And your friends, I'm sure they mean a lot to you. And at times, there is that feeling of jealousy. You don't want to be going to their funeral and telling their parents how amazing they were. Because guess what? It's too late. So tell them while they're still alive. You don't want to live with that, so uplift people while they're still here."

Khushal speaks frequently to students about his journey. He is also a fierce advocate for education and finding the fuel to live life to its fullest. According to a biography he shared with Upworthy: "Through his educational platform, Yousafzai Academy, he mentors students about personal and academic growth, learning from setbacks, and leadership."

Many commenters on Instagram expressed heartfelt support and said they were deeply touched by his words.

"So beautiful to see his immense love for his sister shared so honestly, vulnerably, and without any hint of shame or resentment," one commenter said. "And the Rumi quote is just so perfect. ❤"

Another notes that his wisdom isn't surprising, considering his whole family is involved in activism: "This family has got all the right things going on! What a gift to the world."

This person was moved by his words, especially by the idea of uplifting people while there's still time: "Wisdom. Beautiful. Fabulous. What a family! Uplift your friends. Uplift people while they are still here. Yes!"

And this commenter deduces that the trauma his family has been through has created a thoughtful empath: "You have a high level of empathy 🙏🏽💕. Only people who have come close to death know the depth of your words and the bond you share with your sister."

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