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Real men share the simple but challenging keys to 'winning' your 40s

Your body may not be at its peak anymore, but your life can be.

Real men share the simple but challenging keys to 'winning' your 40s
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One thing almost all of us have in common is a fear of getting older. Besides the obvious reckoning with our own mortality that comes along with aging, we're also forced to deal with unavoidable realities like a changing physical appearance (rarely for the better), mental decline, a body that can't do what it used to, and more. Fun stuff!

40 seems to be the magic number where people really begin to seriously reckon with getting older, a la a midlife crisis. The idea of a midlife crisis is usually played as a joke — middle-aged men buying flaming red sports cars — but can be a significant milestone in most people's lives where they really reflect on what matters and what their priorities will be for the remainder of their lives.

In fact, this time of reflection (and a bit of freaking out!) can actually be a good thing. Studies show that people overall tend to get happier and more satisfied as they get older, even into and beyond your 30s, 40s, and 50s. (Things tend to get a bit bumpy around your 70s, I'm sorry to say.)

So if you're on a collision course with your 40s, don't fret. You may not be able to avoid wrinkles and a creaky back, but your 40s can be the best decade of your life. If you know how to approach them.


40s man standing on beach during daytime Photo by Rana Sawalha on Unsplash

A recent Reddit thread on AskMenOver30 went viral and was chock full of incredible advice for "winning" your 40s. The advice was written for and by men, but could just as easily be applied to anyone.

The original poster, broccolisubstantial2, wrote:

"I turned 40 a few years back, and let me tell you—this decade hit differently. It's like life sends you an email marked 'URGENT,' and suddenly, you’re questioning your health, career, relationships, and whether or not you should actually start flossing.

"But here’s the thing: the 30s and 40s aren’t a crisis—they’re an upgrade. Here’s how I’ve approached it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts, wins, and struggles too."

Prioritize physical health, within reason

Started lifting regularly—not to look like Thor (though that’d be cool), but to future-proof my body. I eat better, but still smash the occasional burger because life is short. Sleep? Non-negotiable. 7 hours minimum. Don’t let the 20-year-olds shame you for it. - broccolisubstantial2

Exercise...walk, hike, bike, swim, lift whatever. It makes a huge odds. I'm mid 50s and have been exercising regularly for 25 years. It's only now I can really see the benefit. Mates who have not looked after themselves are getting ill e.g. diabetes (3 in past year), heart disease and heart attack (1 in past year), obesity (too many). This is only going to get worse. - assistantbitter2205

One big thing: skin care. I get monthly facials with the detail work (lady lurkers will know what I’m talking about) and they have made a massive difference. My skin is healthy and I look as though I just turned 40 rather than staring at 48. So gentlemen—facials. Get them, get the details, and prepare to experience exquisite pain getting your blackheads cleared out of your nose once a month. But the payoff is worth it. - mnemnosine

Doctors agree that sleep, exercise, and avoiding too much drugs and alcohol are the best things you can do for your body's longevity. Oh, and go to the doctor, for crying out loud! Looking at you, men.

Career? Less is more

I stopped chasing "success" and started chasing satisfaction. Learned to say “no” at work. If you’re not being paid for 24/7 availability, don’t give it. Investing in skills, not just a job. ... Now I work smart, not endlessly. - broccolisubstantial2

Actually pursuing becoming a full time landscape artist. Work smarter not endlessly is gold. - drvanostranmd

Dude it legitimately changed my life when at 25 I realized that my go on life is not to succeed but to be content with the life I have. ... Am I successful in my job? No but I'm making enough money to live, save up some, and buy myself nice things when I want all while my job doesn't take up too much of my time. - ninjabladeJr

Wellness Camille Styles says settings boundaries with work is huge at this age. Volunteering for every extra project and saying Yes to everything to get ahead is a game for your 20s and maybe 30s. Your 40s are the moment to begin respecting your own time.

Relationships matter more than ever

man sitting beside two woman on gray surface Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Friendships: They shrink, but that’s fine. Quality over quantity, lads. Dating/Marriage: Communicate like your life depends on it. It probably does. Family: Yeah, call your mum. - broccolisubstantial2

The biggest priority is to continue to like my wife even though we're mostly just co-parents right now and sometimes friends. If we can make it to the youngest being out of the little stage then I think I'll have a great marriage to look forward to in my 40s. - htom_sirvoux

Stop wilfully interacting with people who are energy vampires. Used to have a buddy who was a chronic yes man, and would say whatever he thought you wanted to hear. I don’t have the energy to try and figure out whether you’re being honest or not. See ya. This has also furthered my resolve to say what I mean and mean what I say. Which is difficult, as I used to really enjoy biting sarcasm. - stockuser42

You may find your 40s is a time you have to push yourself outside of your comfort zone to make new friends. If you've lost touch with many and found your social circle too whittled down, don't be afraid to join a new club, take a class, or volunteer to strike up some new bonds.

Investing in mental health will keep you young

Therapy is not a weakness. It's like squats for your brain. Journaling once a week helped me declutter my thoughts. - broccolisubstantial2

Another life hack for someone of any age: mindfulness and being present. This is essentially a social super power that makes everyone involved feel awesome. So many things are vying for our attention these days. Someone who will calmly listen, marinate in your words, and respond in an appropriate and salient way is extremely rare. It really does not take much effort. Just imagine the person you’re talking to has something of value, and that that moment is currently the most important thing in your life. - mrrabblerouser

Experts agree that presence and mindfulness are huge for feeling happy and satisfied in your 40s and beyond. If you haven't already, now would be a great time to try meditation or journaling to help you with gratitude for each day.

Do whatever makes you happy, and do more of it

Picked up hobbies I abandoned in my 20s (any other late-night painters here?). Said yes to things I thought I was “too old” for (running at 39? Why not?). Prioritised experiences over "stuff." A trip with friends beats a new phone any day. - broccolisubstantial2

I’m 43. Last week I saw a Lego set I wanted in 1986 at a vintage toy store, complete in box. I hesitated, but eventually circled back and bought it. It brought me a certain nostalgic joy that I haven’t experienced in a very long time. Men, nurture your inner child! - rjove

Experts say the key to happiness as you get older is freeing yourself from other people's expectations when it comes to things you enjoy. The more you can distance yourself from what other people think of you, the better off you'll be. Just do what you want more often and get better at saying No to things you don't want to do.

The thread OP admitted he had a midlife crisis around the time he turned 40 and did all the wrong things: Bought the stereotypical sports car, had an affair, poured himself into work, relied too much on substances. He worried so much about his life coming to an end that he almost destroyed it way too early when, predictably, none of those things actually worked.

That's why the crisis is sometimes necessary. Being afraid of aging can be a good thing when it helps us focus and reprioritize on what's really important, like our relationships, our health, and doing things we love.

Pretty simple when you get right down to it, right?

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Modern Families

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.

Even in divided times, small acts of friendship help create vibrant communities where everyone feels safe.

Once a refugee seeking safety in the U.S., Anita Omary is using what she learned to help others thrive.
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
Pictured here: Anita Omary; her son, Osman; and Omary’s close friends
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In March 2023, after months of preparation and paperwork, Anita Omary arrived in the United States from her native Afghanistan to build a better life. Once she arrived in Connecticut, however, the experience was anything but easy.

“When I first arrived, everything felt so strange—the weather, the environment, the people,” Omary recalled. Omary had not only left behind her extended family and friends in Afghanistan, she left her career managing child protective cases and supporting refugee communities behind as well. Even more challenging, Anita was five months pregnant at the time, and because her husband was unable to obtain a travel visa, she found herself having to navigate a new language, a different culture, and an unfamiliar country entirely on her own.

“I went through a period of deep disappointment and depression, where I wasn’t able to do much for myself,” Omary said.

Then something incredible happened: Omary met a woman who would become her close friend, offering support that would change her experience as a refugee—and ultimately the trajectory of her entire life.

Understanding the journey

Like Anita Omary, tens of thousands of people come to the United States each year seeking safety from war, political violence, religious persecution, and other threats. Yet escaping danger, unfortunately, is only the first challenge. Once here, immigrant and refugee families must deal with the loss of displacement, while at the same time facing language barriers, adapting to a new culture, and sometimes even facing social stigma and anti-immigrant biases.

Welcoming immigrant and refugee neighbors strengthens the nation and benefits everyone—and according to Anita Omary, small, simple acts of human kindness can make the greatest difference in helping them feel safe, valued, and truly at home.

A warm welcome

Dee and Omary's son, Osman

Anita Omary was receiving prenatal checkups at a woman’s health center in West Haven when she met Dee, a nurse.

“She immediately recognized that I was new, and that I was struggling,” Omary said. “From that moment on, she became my support system.”

Dee started checking in on Omary throughout her pregnancy, both inside the clinic and out.

“She would call me and ask am I okay, am I eating, am I healthy,” Omary said. “She helped me with things I didn’t even realize I needed, like getting an air conditioner for my small, hot room.”

Soon, Dee was helping Omary apply for jobs and taking her on driving lessons every weekend. With her help, Omary landed a job, passed her road test on the first attempt, and even enrolled at the University of New Haven to pursue her master’s degree. Dee and Omary became like family. After Omary’s son, Osman, was born, Dee spent five days in the hospital at her side, bringing her halal food and brushing her hair in the same way Omary’s mother used to. When Omary’s postpartum pain became too great for her to lift Osman’s car seat, Dee accompanied her to his doctor’s appointments and carried the baby for her.

“Her support truly changed my life,” Omary said. “Her motivation, compassion, and support gave me hope. It gave me a sense of stability and confidence. I didn’t feel alone, because of her.”

More than that, the experience gave Omary a new resolve to help other people.

“That experience has deeply shaped the way I give back,” she said. “I want to be that source of encouragement and support for others that my friend was for me.”

Extending the welcome

Omary and Dee at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Vision Awards ceremony at the University of New Haven.

Omary is now flourishing. She currently works as a career development specialist as she continues her Master’s degree. She also, as a member of the Refugee Storytellers Collective, helps advocate for refugee and immigrant families by connecting them with resources—and teaches local communities how to best welcome newcomers.

“Welcoming new families today has many challenges,” Omary said. “One major barrier is access to English classes. Many newcomers, especially those who have just arrived, often put their names on long wait lists and for months there are no available spots.” For women with children, the lack of available childcare makes attending English classes, or working outside the home, especially difficult.

Omary stresses that sometimes small, everyday acts of kindness can make the biggest difference to immigrant and refugee families.

“Welcome is not about big gestures, but about small, consistent acts of care that remind you that you belong,” Omary said. Receiving a compliment on her dress or her son from a stranger in the grocery store was incredibly uplifting during her early days as a newcomer, and Omary remembers how even the smallest gestures of kindness gave her hope that she could thrive and build a new life here.

“I built my new life, but I didn’t do it alone,” Omary said. “Community and kindness were my greatest strengths.”

Are you in? Click here to join the Refugee Advocacy Lab and sign the #WeWillWelcome pledge and complete one small act of welcome in your community. Together, with small, meaningful steps, we can build communities where everyone feels safe.

This article is part of Upworthy’s “The Threads Between U.S.” series that highlights what we have in common thanks to the generous support from the Levi Strauss Foundation, whose grantmaking is committed to creating a culture of belonging.

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Education

How to keep your mouth shut in conversations when you know you should really stay quiet

Most people never regret just staying silent.

quiet, finger over lips, don't talk, keep it to yourself, silence
via Canva/Photos

A woman with her finger over her mouth.

It can be hard to stay quiet when you feel like you just have to speak your mind. But sometimes it's not a great idea to share your opinions on current events with your dad or tell your boss where they're wrong in a meeting. And having a bit of self-control during a fight with your spouse is a good way to avoid apologizing the next morning.

Further, when we fight the urge to talk when it's not necessary, we become better listeners and give others a moment in the spotlight to share their views. Building that small mental muscle to respond to events rather than react can make all the difference in social situations.

argument, coworkers, angry coworkers, hostile work enviornment, disagreement A woman is getting angry at her coworker.via Canva/Photos

What is the WAIT method?

One way people have honed the skill of holding back when they feel the burning urge to speak up is the WAIT method, an acronym for the question you should ask yourself in that moment: "Why Am I Talking?" Pausing to consider the question before you open your mouth can shift your focus from "being heard" to "adding value" to any conversation.

The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic has some questions we should consider after taking a WAIT moment:

  • What is my intention behind what I am about to say?
  • What question can I ask to better understand what the other person is saying?
  • Is my need to talk an attempt to divert the attention to me?
  • How might I become comfortable with silence rather than succumb to my urge to talk?

tape over muth, sielnce, be quiet, mouth shut, saying nothing A man with tape over his mouth.via Canva/Photos

The WAIT method is a good way to avoid talking too much. In work meetings, people who overtalk risk losing everyone's attention and diluting their point to the extent that others aren't quite sure what they were trying to say. Even worse, they can come across as attention hogs or know-it-alls. Often, the people who get to the heart of the matter succinctly are the ones who are noticed and respected.

Just because you're commanding the attention of the room doesn't mean you're doing yourself any favors or helping other people in the conversation.

The WAIT method is also a great way to give yourself a breather and let things sit for a moment during a heated, emotional discussion. It gives you a chance to cool down and rethink your goals for the conversation. It can also help you avoid saying something you regret.

fight, spuse disagreement, communications skills, upset husband, argument A husband is angry with his wife. via Canva/Photos

How much should I talk in a meeting?

So if it's a work situation, like a team meeting, you don't want to be completely silent. How often should you speak up?

Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, shared an example of the appropriate amount of time to talk in a meeting with six people:

"I would suggest a good measure would be three contributions over an hour-long meeting from each non-leader participant. If anyone is talking five/six/seven times you are over-participating! Allow someone else to weigh in, even if that means an occasional awkward silence. Anything less seems like your voice is just not being represented, and anything over three contributions is too much."

Ultimately, the WAIT method is about taking a second to make sure you're not just talking to hear yourself speak. It helps ensure that you have a clear goal for participating in the conversation and that you're adding value for others. Knowing when and why to say something is the best way to make a positive contribution and avoid shooting yourself in the foot.

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Olympic curling gets humor treatment as people recreate the bizarrely riveting sport at home

Using everything from Roombas to babies, people are embracing the joy of curling.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports
Photo credit: Canva

Curling has become a surprisingly popular Olympic sport.

When curling became an official Olympic sport in 1998, it was met with a fair amount of curiosity and confusion, at least among people outside Canada, Scotland, and the Scandinavian countries where it has long been a winter sport tradition. Without an explanation of what's happening, curling can look downright bizarre: large stones sliding across the ice toward a target, while people vigorously sweep the ice in front of them as the person who threw the stone yells unintelligibly.

It's not obvious what skills are required for curling just by watching, which initially led people to poke fun at the event. More recent Olympic Games, however, have seen interest in curling grow as people find the sport strangely riveting. Now, curling has reached even greater heights of popularity, as evidenced by satirical curling-at-home videos popping up on social media.

Many of them use a combo of a Roomba and a Swiffer, which works perfectly:

Why Swiffer is not the official sponsor of all Olympic curling events is a mystery.

Some creators take it a little further, adding in the yelling component:


@amanda_carluccio

We’re now professional athletes. 🏅🇺🇸 #curling #usa #winterolympics #olympics #thecarluccios

Others use different household items, like a teapot, for a curling stone and add commentary:

@breanneallarie

Kitchen curling 🥌 I’m ready @Olympics #milanocortina2026 #roadtotheolympics #teamcanada #olympiccurling

And believe it or not, someone even used a baby as a curling stone, with the caption, "When new dads in Canada are left unsupervised."

So how exactly did we get here?

The history of curling

No one knows the exact origins of curling, but there is evidence of the sport (or something like it) being played by monks on frozen lakes and ponds in Scotland in the 16th century. Farmers would join in curling games during the winter months, and as the sport evolved through the 1800s, it became more organized. Rules were formalized, and people began traveling to watch and participate in competitions held outdoors in large Scottish cities. The Scots eventually took the sport with them to other countries, and by the 1900s, curling had transformed from a Scottish outdoor pastime into an international, mostly indoor sport.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

How does curling work as a sport?

Curling is played by two teams of four, with each team aiming to get its eight stones closest to the center of a target called a "house." Teams alternate "throwing" their stones, which really means gliding them along the ice. Sweepers brush the ice to help guide the stones, while the team captain, or "skip," gives directions, often by yelling, to place the stones where they want them to go.

After all 16 stones are thrown, the team with a stone closest to the center of the house scores one point for each of its stones that landed inside the house. The other team does not score at all in that round, called an "end." There are eight or 10 ends per game, depending on the event, and the team with the most points after all the ends have been played is the winner.

Here's a visual explainer that goes through the basics:

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Fun facts about curling

Tara Peterson of the USA Curling National Team shared some interesting facts about curling with Columbia Sportswear:

  • Modern curling stones are made of granite that comes from only two places: a quarry in Wales and an uninhabited island off the coast of Scotland called Ailsa Craig.
  • Curling is called curling because of the way the stone curves depending on how it's spun, but exactly how that happens is still a bit of a scientific mystery. Curling stones actually move in the opposite direction of what the turn would normally dictate according to physics.
  • Despite the yelling, curling is considered a polite "gentleman's" sport, with traditional etiquette rules observed before and after the game.
  • Though it may not be immediately obvious, you have to be in pretty good shape to curl. Throwing a 42-pound stone, even on ice, isn't as easy as it looks, and the person throwing it must remain crouched close to the ground for long periods. Sweeping also requires arm strength and cardiovascular endurance.

olympic sports, winter olympics, curling, curling stone, winter sports Curling requires more athleticism than it first appears.Photo credit: Canva

  • Curlers wear two different shoes, one designed for gripping the ice and the other for sliding. The slider sole is made of Teflon or stainless steel, while the grippy sole is made of rubber.
  • Curling is called the "roaring game," which might sound odd, but the sound of the stones gliding over the ice is apparently much louder in person than it sounds on TV.

Every sport is more fun to watch when you actually know what you're seeing, and curling is no exception. If you're wondering who to watch, Canada has traditionally dominated the sport, though Sweden trails by only two medals in total Olympic curling medals. And if you're curious how Scotland fares as the original home of the sport, its curlers compete under Great Britain's flag.

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Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks after uncomfortable interactions with other kids

No is a complete sentence.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy
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Girl stops 80s game show host in his tracks as he tries to kiss her

The 80s seems like a completely different lifetime when it comes to what was considered acceptable behavior. Things people deemed acceptable or were just part of everyday expectations for television back in the 60s through well into the 90s would get stars blacklisted today. But there was one game show in the 80s that had moments so cringy that even for the times may have raised some eyebrows though everyone seemed to go along with it, except one brave little girl.

The Canadian show, Just Like Mom ran from 1980-1985 even with the uncomfortable moments between the game show host and young girls. The girls who were aged 7-12 would appear on the show with their mother answering questions about each other and competing in bake-offs to see which pair knew each other best. Just Like Mom was created by Catherine Swing, the wife of the show's host Fergie Olver who would often stand uncomfortably close to the girls and elicit kisses.

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom hugging crying daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Recently a compilation video of the game show host behaving in a manner people might consider questionable is going viral. In the video the Olver stands near the girls, often putting his hand on their backs, placing his face close to theirs to ask questions. The very first clip shows 11-year-old Lee Ann, Olver hovers over her asking what color her eyes are.

"What color are your eyes?" Olver asks before the child tells him they're blue, to which he responds, "they're not blue, now don't tell me that. Look at me a little closer." Just as the girl leans in slightly, appearing hesitant to do so, Olver quickly kisses the child on the side of her mouth and declares, "they're green."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Dad kissing child on cheekPhoto credit: Canva

The audience sounds as if they didn't know how to react to the bizarre moment. Some people loudly gasp, others uncomfortably chuckle, while a few seem to let out a high pitched surprised squeal. The girl also laughs uneasily while the host remains extremely close. Video clip after video clip shows similar interactions where the host tries to either kiss the girls or have them kiss him but one little girl refused. While it appeared that she was nervous to do so in front of a live audience, on television and refusing a directive from an adult, she stood her ground.

This was a moment where parents can see in real time the benefit of teaching body autonomy and the power of teaching children that no is a complete sentence. Olver originally didn't accept the young girl's "no," attempting to coerce her into kissing him when she was clearly uncomfortable and uninterested in the request.

The host perches himself up close to the young girl and says, "you look like a girl who likes to give out hugs and kisses," to which the girl laughs with discomfort before saying, "not really." That didn't stop him, Olver continued, "not really? can I have a hug and a kiss?" This time the girl gives a very direct answer through nerves by shaking her head no while saying "uh-uh." She's clearly uncomfortable as she bites her fingernail trying to assert authority over her body against someone much older.

At this point the child has been clear. She immediately told the host she didn't give out hugs and kisses and when that didn't work she mustered the courage to say no more directly. Olver was still not accepting of the child's boundaries and continued to apply pressure by questioning her decision, "I can't have one?" Again the child shakes her head and says no but he persists, saying "even if I say...whisper in your ear that Alison you're going to win the show? I still can't have a hug and a kiss?" Alison sticks to her answer so Olver changes tactics, telling the child, "Well I guess you can't win the show then if I don't get a hug and a kiss."

80s game show; just like mom; Fergie Olver; 80s childhood; family game show; body autonomy Mom comforting daughterPhoto credit: Canva

Alison stayed firm in her no but the host's behavior resulted in the child's mother calling him a dirty old man. In the end the host appears to have moved on and told the girl she did a good job answering one of the questions, but to top the praise Olver attempts to sneak a kiss. The little girl didn't let that deter her as she quickly dodged his advance.

It seems apparent that Alison's parents instilled the idea of bodily autonomy in her giving her full permission to say no to adults and anyone else who dares to get in her space without consent. While the experience was probably not one that she would've ever wanted to have, that moment likely gave permission to other young girls watching to tell the host and other like him no. And no is a complete sentence, especially when it comes to someone's body. There's no further explanation needed. No further clarification. The answer is simply no. Well done Alison. Well done.

This article originally appeared in May.

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Wilco's Jeff Tweedy surprises crowd by singing one of his band's most beloved songs at karaoke

"My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone."

Jeff Tweedy, Wilco, karaoke, viral video, music
Photo credit: Susan Miller Tweedy

Jeff Tweedy sings his own song at karaoke.

On a January evening at a restaurant in Mexico, El Jefe patiently waited for his name to be called by the karaoke host. When it was, he gently walked to the stage in a pink baseball hat and black, thick-rimmed glasses. As he approached, the host gave him instructions on how to use the microphone. "You've got to hold it up here and just don't yell in the mic," he said, illustrating as El Jefe humbly listened.

He then proceeded to sing "Jesus, Etc." almost better than its original singer, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco. There's a reason for that: El Jefe, as it turns out, is Jeff Tweedy.

The song is track five on Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, which was released in 2002. According to the liner notes, it was written by Tweedy and Jay Bennett, a former member of the band who passed away in 2009. Pitchfork hailed the tune as "the 61st best song of the decade," which is high praise, especially considering how much excellent indie-rock music was coming out at the time.

Stereogum's Chris DeVille wrote about the album's 20th anniversary, noting that Wilco streamed it at no charge. "A bold and uncommon move at that time, and one that probably made the album sound even more experimental for those with dial-up internet connections," he wrote. DeVille added, "Yankee Hotel Foxtrot is THE Wilco album — the one that cemented their stature as one of the all-time great American rock bands."

There's a kind of perfection to Tweedy singing his own song at karaoke, and not just because it conjures so many memories for Wilco fans. Watching Tweedy in a Clark Kent–like, plainclothed role, when most fans know he can become Superman at any given moment, is something extra special.

www.youtube.com

Fans in the Instagram comments agreed.

"You guys are the coolest famous non-famous people ever," one person wrote. "How surreal. To write a song, make a record with that song (and many more) on it, and become well known in certain circles for that song and all the other songs, have that song turned into a karaoke selection because it has become that level of popularity, then sing that song like you're an everyday schmuck just doing karaoke one night on vacation, it's just…"

Another person described the scene and how lovely it all was: "My heart needed this. The children playing, palm trees swaying in the neon lights, that super fun 'Ladies' sign, a few enthusiastic 'woos' and a happy, humble El Jefe. Good stuff!"

One fan loved that Tweedy seemed to go unnoticed by the karaoke host. "My favorite part is the host showing him how to use the microphone," they wrote. Another person replied, "And the 'Jeffiest' reaction of playing it totally cool, no ego, totally kind, respecting the KJ's 'authority.' The least 'Do you have any idea who I am?' energy possible."

One comment summed up the many layers of coolness on display: "This is beautiful on so many levels. I always thought you 'made it' when your song ended up in a karaoke machine. Here it is, yet (maybe) no one knows him or the song — and that's perfectly fine with him. For that, I'm so happy for him. What a gift of a moment that must have been: to be respected, successful and famous without the bad fame part. That's the sweet spot. Just to put your hand in your pocket and sing your song for yourself and your family."

Upworthy had the honor of chatting with Tweedy's wife, Susan, who provided a little context for the evening. It all happened following this year's Sky Blue Sky festival, an all-inclusive vacation in Mexico featuring a musical lineup that included Dinosaur Jr., The Jayhawks, and, of course, Wilco.

"So after Jeff's festival, Sky Blue Sky, we stayed in the general area at a rental house for a few days to unwind," she said. "That night we were at La Buena Vida, a restaurant that apparently does karaoke every Wednesday evening."

Susan noted that she and their kids egged him on: "The kids and I told Jeff he should do it! He's never done it before, but it was all families and little kids running around, and we all thought it would be fun and funny! Our son Sammy checked to see if there were any Wilco songs available to do, and there were! We signed him up, and I think he was the last one to make it on for the night."

When asked whether Jeff was recognized, the answer was surprising.

"Nobody recognized him, although I did see a post a couple days later of someone who said they were there and that they were pretty sure it was him," she said. "But nobody said a word, and people were still talking and running around and mostly ignoring the karaoke during his whole song, just like for everybody else! It was really fun for all of us!!"

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Man who created 'Reasons to Stay' website after brother's death, tearfully shares success story

People can write a letter to a stranger and be their reason to stay another day.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay
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Tearful man with head in his hands being comforted.

Editor's Note: This story discusses suicide. If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a United States-based suicide prevention network of over 200+ crisis centers that provides 24/7 service via a toll-free hotline with the number 9-8-8. It is available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.

Mental illnesses like depression don't discriminate. It can hit anyone, and not everyone survives their fight with the condition. Ben West, a man from the United Kingdom, has intimate familiarity with what happens when someone loses their battle with depression. He lost his younger brother, Sam, to suicide eight years ago.

In an effort to help with his own grieving process and connect with those who may feel alone, he created a website. The video launching the site Reasons to Stay went viral due to its touching story and noble mission. It's a website that allows people from across the world to leave letters of encouragement to people who may be contemplating suicide. The hope is that someone needing a reason to stay one more day will find their reason in one of those letters.

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Comfort in a hug: a shared moment of empathy and support.Photo credit: Canva

The website is simple: it displays the latest letter on the home page, offers sign ups for letters to go directly to your email in the form of a newsletter, and shares places to seek help. If someone wants to read a different letter, all they need to do is refresh the page.

"This letter was written by someone in the world that cares. It was delivered to you at random when you opened this page," the Reasons to Stay website explains.

The creation of this website was strictly an act of compassion for fellow humans, but recently, West received an email revealing that his site saved a life. The website's founder wept while sharing the news on his Instagram page, saying, "I got a message today, and I'm not going to share the message, but what I can share is that it worked. It worked for someone. We can be fairly confident that it really worked for someone."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay A comforting hug during an emotional moment.Photo credit: Canva

He admits that the person still has a difficult journey ahead, but celebrates that they get to continue on at all. "Like I said before, social media, it can be such a bad place, but how amazing that it can be used for something like this. Like, that person, maybe it wouldn't reach them if it didn't go viral, so thank you so much, everyone, for sharing and getting involved in this over the last couple of weeks. What a special thing. What an amazing thing. It worked."

According to the Centers for Disease Control, "One person dies by suicide an average of every 11 minutes. Over 49,000 people lost their lives to suicide in 2022. Every year, millions of Americans think about, plan, or attempt suicide."

In August 2025, JAMA Network released an article urging people to consider human connection as a form of suicide prevention. The authors of the article share that there's power in human connection, writing, "At a time when individuals experiencing suicidality often feel unseen, unheard, and burdensome, structured follow-up sends a clear message: you matter. You are not forgotten."

Reasons to Stay is putting human connection at the forefront in hopes of saving lives. People are moved by his selfless gesture, with some sharing their own stories of survival. One person shares, "From someone who tried to, this is essential. Wish I had that back then. Will definitely use your site if those thoughts ever come back to me. I’m so proud of you, and so is Sam. We’re safer now."

suicide prevention; suicide awareness; depression; mental illness; reasons to stay Woman seated against brick wall, covering ears with hands.Photo credit: Canva

Another writes, "My dad took his own life. I wish he could’ve had a website like this to go to. I am sobbing happy tears to know that someone’s life was saved, and I'm also so incredibly sorry for your loss. I understand the ache— but you made something beautiful for your brother."

"You may or may not be familiar with David Kessler’s “The sixth stage of grief,” but in that book he suggests that the 6th stage is: finding meaning. You’ve created meaning by saving others. Sam’s spirit and legacy lives on through you and his life and death now means, not just something to you, but something to many others around the world. What an absolutely beautiful and healing way to honour Sam, and what a gift this is to the world. Thank you Sam. Thank you Ben. So special. So powerful," someone else kindly shares.

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