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How a black dot can (and can't) help domestic violence survivors

There's a new campaign that advises putting a black dot in the center of your palm.

The Internet is full of some wonderful ideas.

I saw this the other day, and it's one of the smartest things I've ever seen:

GIF from i Genietti.

Thank you, Internet! Good job bringing me an awesome idea!

Then I saw the concept for this campaign. At first I supportively thought, "What a great notion!"

The premise is that if you're really in a bad situation as an abuse victim and can't speak up without endangering yourself, you could put a black dot in the center of your palm and discreetly show it to people in public and someone would presumably get you some help.

But as I sat thinking about how putting a black dot on your palm when you seriously need help would look in practice, some questions surfaced.

1. Would very many people in the general public know what the black dot means to even be able to help? Probably not, but now that awareness is being raised, maybe you could get lucky.

2. Is this even a thing that doctors, police, and other professionals are being trained to recognize as a sign for help? Nope, so imagine being in your direst moment as a domestic violence victim and desperately holding up your black-dotted palm to a very confused police officer and being ignored.

3. Don't abusive people have the Internet, too?And if the black dot trend actually does become well-known, isn't there a chance they'd know what it meant, potentially putting you at risk?

I'm not here to poo-poo all over the well-intended idea. As a domestic violence survivor myself, I'm always happy when the public is discussing how to help people in dire situations.

And the public really does love a heroic secret message caper. Remember the pizza ordering lady? That was really quick thinking.

But I feel a responsibility to say it: The black dot is an extreme long shot (as Snopes also notes), and if you are ever in a situation to consider using the method, please consider some other options below, too, if you have the luxury.

A few things could help if you're in an abusive situation:

1. If you're struggling with an abusive situation now, please call (800) 799-7233 to reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline. In an emergency, of course, dial 911.

2. Download the free Aspire app that doesn't tip off your partner to what it is but helps you set up trusted contacts to send a pre-selected SOS message just by pressing a button: "This is the time we talked about. Please come now."

3. Keep watching for the rollout of this app that helps enforce restraining orders. It's set to first be used starting later this month in Seminole County, Florida, and if it's successful, we may see it in other parts of the country soon. The way it works is if you have a convicted abuser, they will be issued an ankle monitor, and if they get within a predetermined radius of you, the app will alert you and police so that you can get to safety and police can respond sooner. That will hopefully really save a lot of lives, and organizations are working on procuring funding so victims will be able to use smartphone technology in spite of their finances.

What the Black Dot Campaign is doing really well is getting people to talk about this.

To be fair, the Black Dot Campaign shared a message they allegedly received from someone who drew courage from their campaign. She didn't use the black dot, though:



From the Black Dot Campaign Facebook page.

And we are asking this question as a nation because of it — what can domestic abuse survivors do to get help when their backs are against the wall? By all means, keep talking about this.

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Subaru
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Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

More smiles, more (happy) tears.

This week's happy things include saving the environment, sibling love, and the most incredible birdcalls you've ever heard.

True

Wanna know what we’re thankful for this week? The Internet. It truly is a gift that keeps on giving us the best of humanity every single week—and Thanksgiving week is no exception. Check out these five things we’ve found that are guaranteed to make you smile (and maybe even shed a few happy tears).

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This kid's incredible knack for birdcall

@diabetic4one This is Samuel’s bird call performance at his schools talent show. He loved every minute of this #autism #birder #fypage #talent #agt ♬ original sound - lori

We dare you to find a better impressionist than ten-year-old Samuel Henderson, this ten year old student from Oklahoma City. Samuel, who has autism, has mastered over 50 different bird calls and performed several of them at his school’s talent show recently. These calls were so accurate that scientists at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology reached out to Samuel and invited him to their lab to study birds. We couldn't be happier for him. (Also the way he throws these birds over his shoulder when he’s done with them—perfection.)

2. Protecting America's most treasured places.

Subaru Share the Love Event and National Park Foundation

Good news for national parks! As the largest corporate donor to the National Park Foundation, Subaru has protected over 400 national parks throughout the Subaru Share the Love Event. What’s more, Subaru and its retailers will donate a minimum of $300 to charities like the National Park Foundation, helping preserve and protect the national parks for future generations.

3. This adorable brother-sister dance.

When six-year-old Harper couldn’t find a partner for her dance studio’s annual summer showcase, her 14-year-old brother Micah stepped in to save the day. The two performed an adorable “Barbie and Ken” themed routine, complete with an adorable fist bump and a lift. What a gentleman.

4. A high school football team cheers on the band kids.

Cue the happy tears: A group of football players at American Fork High School in Utah showed up to cheer on the band kids at a recent competition. Their coach, Aaron Behm, encouraged his team to start showing up to support after noticing a divide between the football players and the marching band. In an interview with Today.com, Behm said, “They come and play at our games and provide an awesome environment, and they deserve our support.” Now that’s sportsmanship.

5. This heartfelt exchange between neighbors

This neighborly exchange captured on camera doorbell footage is the perfect antidote for everyone who’s been feeling like the country is seriously divided lately. On her way to a Muslim funeral, one neighbor stopped by her Muslim neighbor’s house for advice on what to wear. Not only does the Muslim neighbor give her a demonstration on how to wrap her headscarf in real time, the neighbor lets the woman keep the item. Beautiful.

For more reasons to smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

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Teachers share how different students are in 2024 than when they first started teaching

So many teachers got brutally honest about the struggles they've been facing in the classroom.

Photo credit: Canva

Things have changed. And not necessarily for the better.

The country is experiencing a major teacher burnout right now, and has been for quite a while. Obviously, COVID only exacerbated issues that were already present. But beyond dealing with grossly low wages, a neverending list of extra responsibilities and battling against phones for attention…there’s a more existential shift in students that’s making teachers become both disillusioned with their vocation, and concerned about this younger generation.

Recently, someone considering becoming a teacher asked other more experienced educators on Reddit to share "biggest difference you see in kids from the time you started teaching to right now in 2024?" The responses offer a bluntly candid glimpse of some of the challenges faced in schools today—but there are also some positive nuggets thrown in.

Below are some of the top answers.

1. "Level of curiosity... [it's] almost non-existent today. When I started in the '90s, there were always a handful of students in every class that wanted to know 'Why?' but in recent years, it's either 'Just tell me the answer' or 'Who cares? Just mark it wrong.'"—u/Pretend_Screen_5207

2. "I can't show movies or videos anymore because it is all boring to them. It is boring because they have Netflix on their phone and they can watch whatever they want at any time. It isn't special to watch a movie. "—u/Ferromagneticfluid

3. "Fine motor skills seems to be way down. I teach instrumental music, and kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."

classroom, kids" Kids [being able to figure] out where to put their fingers and how to maneuver them has gone way down since COVID."Photo credit: Canva

—u/eagledog

4. "A huge difference I’ve noticed is it is becoming disturbingly common for parents to explicitly tell their kids that they don’t have to follow school rules. Students are always so smug about it when they say that their mom gave them permission, and then equally enraged when they still receive the related consequence because mom doesn’t make the rules at school…Absolutely could never have been me when I was a student, and this was not a thing when I first started teaching. But this kind of attitude has grown increasingly more common every year."

—u/kaelhawh

5. "Kids just seem dumber overall. Could be the area I teach in, but basic math and literacy skills have constantly trended downward here. We keep lowering the bar for interventions because we don't have enough spots if half the school needs math and reading support.” —u/Baidar85

6. "Year 22 starts in July. I don't know if I can put it in words, but there's an air that little children have: it's a combination of silliness, joy, fearlessness, creativity, curiosity, imagination, and sweetness. Occasionally some naughtiness creeps in but it's all very innocent...I've taught K-1 most of my career and while many little kids still have all of these qualities, it's astonishing how many kids don't. You hand them a piece of paper and they say, 'I don't know what to draw,' or 'I don't like to color. You put on a silly dancing song and they not only refuse to stand up, they sit there whining 'This is BORING.' The water during science turns blue and they say 'Whatever.'


teachers, teaching"They've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions."Photo credit: Canva

I think they're growing up too fast... They're afraid of looking silly or getting dirty or drawing attention to themselves by asking a question. They'd rather be on their phones more than anything in the whole wide world, but since they're at school, a Chromebook will do. If they're asked to do something challenging or ‘boring' they'll run to the counselor to complain about their big feelings so they can get access to a screen to 'calm down.' My kids are 5 to 8, generally, and they've just... lost a huge developmentally appropriate part of their childhoods. It's going to have long-lasting societal repercussions." —u/azemilyann26

7. "I’ve moved schools so I’m gonna have a rare opinion; they got much better in every area possible. Smarter, kinder, more respectful, self-aware, less entitled."—u/swift-tom-hanks

8. "I just finished year 34, all in upper elementary and middle school. Back in the day, I'd have one or two kids in a class who didn't give a flying f**k and who did literally nothing. Now it can be a third of the class. It's mind-blowing. I will have several assignments over the course of a trimester where less than half of the class will get the thing done and turned in. Nearly every assignment will have a couple of kids who write their names on it and then turn in blank pieces of paper."

—u/DerbyWearingDude

9. "I've been in early childhood [education] for 10 years now, [and] was a sub for about five years before that. What I've noticed since COVID is a profound lack of social skills. Not just a lack of curiosity or emotional dysregulation, which I've seen in spades, but an inability to play or talk or cooperate with other kids. Each kid is their own little island and they have zero interest in visiting other islands. "I've literally had to teach 5-year-olds how to play basic 'toss the ball' games or work together to build a wall of blocks' whereas before, they would be coming up with wacky 'Calvinball' type games on their own and pulling everyone under four feet tall into the game with barely any effort. Now, I might as well be trying to teach them physics in Klingon."

—u/the_owl_syndicate

10. "Their handwriting is…comically big, completely illegible, letters not formed correctly, not within lines/margins if it's on loose leaf paper - straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high...Sometimes I feel so frustrated at them not getting incredibly basic art concepts and techniques, such as copying a similar value/line/angle or whatever, then realize they can't even write a letter 'g 'correctly, and it makes sense."

handrwiting for kids, kids development"Their handwriting is…straight up looks like a 1st grader wrote it. And this [is] junior high."Photo credit: Canva

—u/_crassula_

11. "The maturity level has been reduced about three or four years since I started in 1990."—u/Felixsum

12. "As an English as a foreign language teacher, here's a positive one: the internet/phones/tablets have made English accessible for EVERYONE. "Even in countries like Egypt where the parents speak no English at all, I'm noticing their kids have a great base level just from playing on their phones. It's pretty cool! Even young kids know quite a bit now."

—u/Accomplished-War1971

13. "When I sub, I rarely see students reading books or drawing for fun (even in art class); they mostly use their laptops/phones to listen to videos or play games…But even more baffling are the ones who are told to put devices away [and] just sit in complete and total silence and do nothing but stare at the desk the entire class. They don't do worksheets, they don't do homework, they don't draw; nothing."—u/Seamilk90210

14. "Been teaching middle school for 12 years. Kids are now testing lower than ever. I’d say I have around 10-15 middle schoolers that are testing at a 1st-3rd grade level. Students also lack the ability to be resourceful and persevere. They give up the moment something gets too difficult."

why teachers quit"They give up the moment something gets too difficult."Photo credit: Canva

—u/TraditionalSteak687

15. "At the start of my career, on days leading up to and day of an assessment, my mornings would be absolutely devoured by students seeking extra help. Like, a full hour before the first bell I'd be circulating around answering questions and I would have to make a turn order and consolidate kids who had the same questions. Last three or so years? Absolutely silent. One kid might come in and ask me one question they didn't really need to ask and just want some reassurance."—u/enigma7x

…and let's end with a sweet one to remember it's not all terrible...

16. "28 years of experience... It's genuine kindness. Kids are so much more kind now than they were when I started in the '90s. They are so accepting of kids of different races, gender identities, [and] intellectual differences like autism. 'Accepting' isn't even a strong enough word. Kids [who] would be in such different social circles due to peer pressure in the '90s are friends now. I'm a straight white guy [who] was in high school in the '80s. I wish I was brave enough then to be as kind as kids are now.I have plenty of complaints about phone addiction or the inability to multiply 5x4 without a calculator, but this is the most kind generation of students I've ever taught." —u/scfoothills


This article originally appeared in August.

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Millennial shares 'proof' they've set the new standard for what it looks like to age

Gen Z may have to concede to this point.

Photo credit: Canva

Millennial shares 'proof' they're not aging as quickly as Gen Z

Millennials and Gen Z truly have a sibling kind of relationship. They take turns teasing each other but in the end it's nothing but love between the two generations. In recent months people were taunting Gen Z about their looks saying that they age like milk and several from that generation agreed that people often mistake them for much older than they are.

Well, it seems Gen Z is back with their own commentary about how poorly Millennials age but instead of the older sibling in this rivalry conceding to the point, they dispute it...with receipts. Ouch, this one probably stings a bit. Chris Bautista uploaded a video response to TikTok addressing the young whippersnappers telling Millennials they look old to explain why they feel that way.

The answer is quite simple. Millennials set the bar for what aging looks like for people approaching middle age according to Bautista.

"I'm gonna say this a little bit louder for the Gen Zers in the back that didn't hear me the last time. Millennials look fantastic for our age and you cannot tell us otherwise," Bautista starts. "The reason why you think we don't look great for our ages is because we have set the new standard of what it looks like to age."

Then he pulls out receipts. Pictures of celebrities who were the age Millennials are right now when the pictures were taken. Yikes! Most Millennials look no where near the age of the people in the pictures, but maybe the camera added 10 years?

Watch the video:

@bautistud This needs to be said for millenials 🫡 #millennialsoftiktok #genzvsmillenial #aging ♬ original sound - Chris Bautista

"It's cause all millennials used the St. Ives peach scrub exfoliating wash and we achieved eternal youth," someone surmises.

"It's gotta be the Flintstone vitamins," another guesses.

"I don't know, I am 40 and got stopped at my son's high school security guard because he thought I was a student. No one ever believes my age," one person writes.

"But seriously like what's the reason? Cause this life has been stressful," someone else asks.

So is Gen Z really aging poorly or did Millennials get some weird radioactive Flintstone vitamins laced with asbestos that is causing their cells to age slower? The world may never know but hopefully these two generations forever keep the sibling banter alive.


This article originally appeared in June.

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Pop Culture

People born before 1990 are sharing their now-useless but 100 percent nostalgic skills

For instance, recording songs on tape from the radio while yelling at the DJ to shut up during the intro.

Canva, Veronica Lorine on Unsplash, Julentto Photography on Unsplash

From holding the phone on your shoulder to folding a map to knowing what "cornflower" and "goldenrod" are, here are pre-Y2K skills at their finest.

Hey there, millennials! Welcome to the "Holy crapoly, I have real-life memories from 20 years ago!" club. It's a strangely disorienting milestone to reach when you find yourself starting sentences with "When I was young…" or "Back in my day…" isn't it? Your Gen X elders have been here for a while, but even we have moments of incredulously calculating how the heck we've arrived at this place. Time is a tricky little jokester, isn't he?

To highlight how much has changed for middle-aged folks since we were young, a user on Reddit asked people born before 1990 what useless skills they possess that nobody has a need for anymore. It's both a hilarious trip down memory lane and a time capsule of life pre-Y2K. (Do kids these days even know what Y2K was? Gracious.)

If you're down for some good-old-days nostalgia, check out people's responses:

Ask Reddit Question: People born before 1990, what trivial skill do you possess that no one uses anymore?

Making brown paper bag book covers

"I can cover a textbook with a brown paper bag." — sourwaterbug

Oh goodness yes. And there was always that one girl in class who had the art of the brown paper bag book cover perfected. (They're probably Pinterest influencers now.)

Folding a map—and knowing where to find a map

"I can re-fold a map correctly." —JungleZac

"Man remember actually using maps…I had an atlas with the road system in my car to navigate other states during road trips. Crazy." – jagua_haku

How did we ever figure out how to get anywhere before GPS and Google Maps? (Two-inch thick road atlases in our car and stopping at gas stations to buy local maps while traveling, that's how. Positively primitive.)

Memorizing phone numbers and answering the house phone

For real, though, kids these days don't even know.

"Remembering phone numbers." — greatmilliondog

"Not only that, having to speak to your friend's parents for a few minutes when you call their house." — Logical_Area_5552

"How to take a message when the person they want to talk to isn't there." — Amoori_A_Splooge

How about dialing on a rotary phone, using a pay phone and making (or taking) a collect call?

The skillful phone shoulder hold

"Using your shoulder to hold a telephone up to your ear while doing multiple other things at once. Now, the phones are so damned small I drop them." – Regular_Sample_5197

"100 ft phone cords 🤣" – mrch1ck3nn

"I got in sooooo much trouble for stretching the phone cord into the bathroom for some privacy. Accidentally clotheslined Grandma 😬 She laughed about it but Mom was pissed!" – AffectionateBite3827

Knowing the exact name of every Crayola color because we only had so many

"I know what the color “goldenrod” is." — ImAmazedBaybee

"That and burnt sienna were the crayolas of choice." — Signiference

"Cornflower would like a word." — cps12345

The art of the mixed tape—especially from the radio

I don't think kids these days fully grasp how revolutionary Spotify and the like are for those of us who spent hours in front of the radio with our cassette tape recorder queued up at just the right spot waiting for the song we wanted to record to come one. And they will never, ever know the frustration of the DJ yapping right up until the lyrics start.

"Record to tape from the radio. Trying to make sure to not get the DJ/presenter talking sh-t or an ad" – Gankstajam

"'Shut up, shut up, shut up!!! I'm trying to record my song!!!'" – tearsonurcheek

"Haha yeah and trying to tell others so they don't make random noise or knock on the door.

How about making cassette-based mix tapes, trying to figure out to the second, how many and which types of songs in which order, that would still fit perfectly on the length of tape per side.

People who make digital recordings do not have to worry about 'running out of tape.'

Having the first side be tempting enough that they'd flip the other side to continue listening. That's before continual playback machines existed. Had to flip the cassette." – CrunchyTeaTime

And there were many more, from rewinding a cassette tape with a pencil to writing in cursive to tearing the sides off of printer paper without tearing the paper itself. (Oh and of course the ability to count out change and understand what you're supposed to do if something costs $9.91 and someone hands you $10.01.)

Gotta love it when the things that used to be totally normal now sound like historic artifacts found in a museum. Kind of makes you wonder what normal things from today we'll be laughing about in another 20 or 30 years.


This article originally appeared last year.

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3-month-old baby shocks mom and sister by repeating full sentences. It may have a name.

"He is a baby genius start showing him math problems."

Photo credit: Canva

3-month-old baby repeats full sentences shocking mom

Babies can't talk. This isn't something that needs to be studied and researched, it's a pretty common fact that humans have. The reasons babies cry is because they can't talk to tell us what they need, at least that's what the general understanding has been for centuries. But what if some babies could talk and we simply haven't been exposed to them because the world is so big?

Thanks to social media, the world has gotten a whole lot smaller when it comes to being able to take a peek into other people's lives. This means we get to be exposed to things that may otherwise gone unseen. Mekeia, a mom of two recently uploaded a video of her 3-month-old son talking. Not the cute baby babble that we like to call talking, but repeating actual short sentences.

Mekeia was recording her daughter playing with the baby when they captured the moment on video.

The little girl holds the baby's face and says, "say I am two months," before Mekeia corrects her, "say I am three months," the little girl pipes back up. Clearly the baby was trying to join in the conversation with what was expected to be baby babble when the mom instructed the older child to let the baby have a chance to "talk." It was then that the baby shocked everyone by sounding like he repeated the same phrase.

The two are visibly and audibly shocked not wanting to believe the baby actually repeats what the other child says. Mekeia is on the phone with a friend when the entire thing happens. Presumably thinking this is a fluke, the mom attempts to put the phone up to the baby's mouth. When he just babbles, she tells the baby, "say hey Bam." Nothing. Just more babble and drool.

Just when you think your ears were playing tricks on you, the baby does it again when the mom tells him to say, "hey Quintin." Clearly the baby still sounds like a baby but you can clearly hear him repeating the sound and cadence of the words so much so that it sounds like he's fully saying the words. His older sister is overwhelmed with emotion and begins to cry while Mekeia seems to be so shocked that she begins to laugh while the person on the phone is just stunned into confusion.

@foxondemand

Watch until the end 😱omg🥹🥰!!

♬ original sound - Mekeia 💖


People in the comments were eager to jump in with exclaiming the baby is a genius with one person writing, "he is a baby genius start showing him math problems."

Another person jokes, "next thing he's writing emails and making appointments."

"Talking so clear would scare me sooo bad he's so intelligent," someone writes.

Others explain the phenomenon with a condition called echolalia. "Echolalia is a normal part of child development. As children learn to talk and understand words, they imitate, copy or echo the sounds and words they hear. Over time, a child usually learns to talk by connecting new words together to make unique little phrases or sentences,” according to Speech and Language Advisor Claire Smith when interviewed by the BBC.

While echolalia can be a sign of autism, that's not always the case. Many kids grow out of it by the age of three and continue their typical development.


This article originally appeared in August.

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Democracy

Man figured out how to beat squatters at their own game. Now he helps others do it.

"If they can take a house, I can take a house."

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio/Pexels

When people move in and refuse to move out, what do you do?


Squatters' rights laws are some of the most bizarrely misused legal realities we have, and something no one seems to have a good answer for. Most of us have heard stories of someone moving into a vacant home and just living there, without anyone's permission and without paying rent, and somehow this is a legal question mark until the courts sort it out.

According to The National Desk, squatters' rights are a carryover from British property law and were created to ensure that abandoned property could be used and to protect occupants from being kicked out without proper notice. It should go without saying that squatter law isn't meant to allow someone to just take over someone else's property, but sometimes that's exactly what happens.

It's what happend to Flash Shelton's mother when she put her house up for rent after her husband passed away. A woman contacted her with interest in the property, only she wanted to do repairs and look after the home instead of paying rent. Before anyone knew it, she had furniture delivered (which she later said was accidental) and set up camp, despite Shelton's mom not agreeing to the arrangement.

But since the woman had expressed her intention and already moved in, the matter was out of police hands, as Shelton found out when he tried to contact the local sheriff.

“They said, ‘I’m sorry but we can’t enter the house, and it looks like they’re living there, so you need to go through the courts',” he shared in a YouTube video.

Shelton rightfully didn't want the expense of a court battle, so he took matters into his own hands—not with violence, but with logic. He had his mom lease the home to him, and then told the squatter that she had to move everything out because he was moving things in.

“If they can take a house, I can take a house," he said.

He was calm and clear about her having to get everything out within the day or he would have people come and take it, and thankfully, she didn't put up a big fight.

That experience made him realize how squatter law can be abused, but that there's a faster system for removing a squatter than to go through the court system. If a squatter can move in and force a homeowner to take them to court to prove they are living there illegally, then he could simply move in alongside the squatter, putting the squatter in the position of having to take the homeowner to court instead.

"The legal process is so slow, and at some point when they're in there, you're going to feel like they have more rights than you do and that's how you're going to be treated. So even though you it's your house and you're paying the mortgage or whatever, at some point squatters feel like they have more rights than you, so they don't have an incentive to leave until a judge tells them to, until they're actually ordered to, and that could take months."

After successfully removing the squatters in his mother's house, Shelton has been tackling similar squatter situations for other homeowners in California, earning him the nickname "The Squatter Hunter."

"All I'm doing is becoming a squatter and flipping this process on them," Shelton told CBS News. "I figured if they could take a house, I could take a house."

According to CBS, he's successfully removed a dozen squatters in the past year. ""I'm not going in and I'm not hurting anyone," he said. "I'm not kicking them out, I'm not throwing them out." He's literally just moving in himself, setting up cameras, and then creating small annoyances until the squatters get fed up enough to move out.

California isn't the only state that has seen issues with squatters. There are squatter stories from all over the U.S. of people moving into a property and refusing to leave without a court order, tying owners up in lengthy, expensive legal battles.

Shelton even has a Change.org petition to try to get squatter laws changed to "make squatting in residential maintained homes criminal." Making squatting illegal "will shift the burden of proof onto the squatter and make the crime punishable with restitution an option for damages," the the petition states.

Watch Shelton share his personal story:

This article originally appeared in April.

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