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Some free advice for freaked out parents from a homeschooling, remote-working former teacher

Some free advice for freaked out parents from a homeschooling, remote-working former teacher
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

As employees are being asked to work from home whenever possible and schools across the nation are closing down for weeks, millions of parents have suddenly found themselves in the role of remote worker and homeschool parent.

Since this is the life I've been living for 15+ years, I'm a bit of an expert—if there were such a thing.

(My background: I have an education degree and worked as a public school teacher. Not thrilled with the education system, I started exploring alternative options as my first child approached school age and ultimately landed on homeschooling. That child is now 19 and in college. My other two kids, ages 15 and 11, have always been homeschooled as well. Through our years of homeschooling, I have also worked from home—part-time when the kids were young, full-time now.)

As a former teacher and remote work/homeschooling veteran, I thought I'd offer some advice to the parents who feel like they just got thrown into the deep end.

Everyone's circumstances are different, so I'm not going to specifically tell you how to homeschool while working from home. Rather, I want to help curb your anxiety over your new role and help you adjust your expectations.

Here we go:

1. Lower your standards on housework.

I'm starting with this one because it is so very real. Your house is going to be messier. It just is. Especially now, when we're all spending a lot more time inside our homes than usual, it's going to be hard to keep up with.

When the whole family is home all day, you use more dishes, clutter is inevitable, things get dirtier, bathrooms get used more frequently, etc. Set up chores and create the expectation that everyone helps tidy, clean, and maintain, but also accept that having a pristine home and family home all day are not compatible realities. I've been fighting this battle for 15 years and have learned to embrace the fact that my house will never grace the cover of a magazine.

2. Relax. Your kids will learn despite you, I promise.

I see parents sharing schedules and curriculum ideas on social media, and I'm sure that helps people feel like they have some semblance of control in this situation.

But here's the thing: While routine is important and some people really do thrive on structure, detailed schedules are not necessary from a learning standpoint. If it helps you and/or your children feel more stable, then by all means go wild with your schedule-happy self, but don't freak out if the wheels fall off that cart.

First of all, teaching one kid something takes a fraction of the time it takes to teach 20 to 30 kids something. You don't need to spend hours doing formal schooling each day, and it's healthy for most kids to have lots of free, creative time.

Second, I've fluctuated between structured and unstructured learning with our kids over the years, and aside from math and the basics of learning to read, I've found it makes little difference either way. Humans tend to retain knowledge that interests them or that they need in order to do what they want to do. Everything else gets tossed into a slush pile in our brains.

Learning is a natural, organic, ongoing, non-linear, non-standardized process. Humans instinctively want to make sense of the world and will seek answers to their questions in order to do so. Recognizing that fact can relieve a lot of the stress you might be feeling about having to officially teach your kids anything in particular.

Most of my kids' best learning has happened when they have easy access to information (the internet, books, and tools of communication) and the freedom to explore what intrigues them. We've kept math structured because my kids don't naturally gravitate toward it and they'll need it for standardized testing purposes. But almost everything else has been led by their own interests.

And this method appears to have worked. My oldest graduated with honors from community college at 17 and is now in her second year as an honor roll student at a 4-year university. My 15-year-old is wrapping up her second community college class with a near perfect score—and that's the kid I have most worried about being "behind" at various times over the years. Our loose, free approach to learning has clearly not resulted in academic failure in any way.

So relax. Your kids are not going to fall into academic ruin no matter what you do or don't do during these weeks, I promise.

3. Recognize that learning at home looks almost nothing like learning at school.

Let me assure you that your lack of teacher training makes zero difference in your ability to homeschool. Seriously. I know at least a dozen homeschooling parents who were certified teachers, including myself, and we all agree that our formal teacher training is often more of a hindrance to homeschooling than a help.

Educating a few kids you know intimately is nothing like teaching a classroom full of kids from different families. Homeschooling bears no resemblance to teaching in a classroom, and it shouldn't. It takes a lot less time. It can be a lot looser and freer. It can look like doing a formal lesson for a bit and then curling up on the couch with a book. It might look like binge-watching National Geographic specials or Brain Games (super cool show). It might be hours of strategy games played between siblings. It could be watching "Captain America," coming up with questions about World War II, and researching the answers.

If your school has a specific plan for kids while they're home, that's one thing. But if you are left without a plan, it's okay to say, "What are you interested in learning about?" and then help them find resources for them to learn about those things. It's okay to let them play outside for hours. It's okay to hand them a roll of duct tape and the recycling bin and challenge them to build the coolest thing they can think of.

It's even okay to take an "unschooling" break from formal academics altogether and embrace a curiosity-led approach to learning. You—and your kids—might find it totally refreshing.

You'll find it much easier to work from home while your kids learn if you view yourself as a facilitator of their natural learning process rather than a formal teacher who has to fulfil the requirements of a specific curriculum. That's part of the beauty of homeschooling—learning is just a way of life, not something separate that has to be done a certain way.

4. Take care of yourself. For real.

Everyone has just had their lives upended. All of us are feeling on edge. It feels like a superhuman feat to manage our own uncertainty and fear while also managing our children's.

And being at home with the family all day every day is a stress of its own, even if you love your children dearly. I've been doing this for many years, and while I love many things about this lifestyle, the near-constant togetherness and the feeling pulled in several directions all the time can wear me down. Clearly, that's exacerbated right now when I can't go escape to a coffee shop and we can't all hop over to a friend's house. If you aren't used to this life, it's going to feel overwhelming. You're probably feeling that already. This is a hard time for everyone.

But your mental health is important, so take care of yourself as best you can. If you need to hole up in your bedroom for a while, put on a video for the kids without any guilt—even if you think they've already had too much screen time. Send all the kids to their room for quiet solitude time and take some of your own. Go outside and get some fresh air. Take a bath. Do some meditation. Whatever you can do to replenish your inner resources, because you need them now more than ever.

The kids are going to be fine through all of this and you will be too. Relax. Loosen your standards. Lower your expectations. Embrace curiosity and expect some days to feel chaotic. It probably won't feel like it every hour of every day, but you've got this. Learning might not look like what you imagined it would, but your kids will be learning no matter what, I promise.


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Music

Teacher jokingly tells 10-year-old going on a trip to England to 'find Duran Duran'—and so she kind of does.

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway.

Wikicommons and lakehighlandsadvocate IG

Duran Duran lead singer Simon LeBon poses with a young fan

Imagine this: you're a fourth grade language arts teacher in Dallas, and like many Gen X-ers, your obsession with Duran Duran never waned. So much so that you still have dolls of each member of the band in the classroom and, according to Austin Wood's article for the Lake Highlands Advocate, even an old telephone in case (lead singer) "Simon LeBon calls."

This describes Miriam Osborne, a fourth grade teacher at White Rock Elementary in the Lake Highlands district of Dallas, Texas. Wood shares in "White Rock E.S. student, inspired by teacher, meets Simon LeBon" that one of Osborne's students, 10-year-old Ava Meyers, was getting an early pickup for Christmas break, as her family was heading to the U.K. for a holiday wedding. As they were saying their goodbyes in the hallway, Osborne kiddingly said to Meyers, "Find Duran Duran."

gif of Duran Duran performingDuran Duran 80S GIFGiphy


Cut to: Ava and her family, including her mom Zahara, fly across the pond to find themselves in the Putney neighborhood of London. After a day of sightseeing, Zahara shares, "I was just Googling things to do in Putney, and the first thing that popped up was 'Simon Le Bon lives in Putney from Duran Duran.'”

Zahara did a little sleuthing and found Simon's house, thinking perhaps a Christmas stroll by the home would be exciting. But, according to the article, Ava felt they could do better. She and "an 83-year-old relative named Nick, who apparently has courage in droves, went to the door and tried a knock. Zahara was initially hesitant but assumed Le Bon would be away on vacation, so she figured it was harmless. Le Bon’s son-in-law answered, his wife came to the door next, and following a few moments of getting pitched the idea by Nick, agreed to get her husband 'because it was Christmas.'"

And just like that, Simon LeBon appeared in the doorway. He warmly greeted Ava and her family and even took pictures. "It was just crazy," Ava exclaimed.

But possibly more excited was Miriam Osborne, back in the States. She proudly shared the photo (which had been texted to her) with many of her friends and even encouraged Ava to recount the story to her classmates when they returned from the break. Wood shares, "Osborne’s connection to the band goes back to her childhood in El Paso in the ’80s. As the daughter of a Syrian immigrant, she says she had trouble fitting in and finding an identity. Some days, she and her brothers would travel across town to get records from a British record store."

Miriam explains she used her babysitting money to buy her first Duran Duran record. "And so I had been a fan, literally, for 43 years—my entire lifetime."

gif of Simon LeBonDuran Duran GIFGiphy

Osborne's love of Duran Duran, and many '80s bands in general, nostalgically connects her to a throughline for her life that she tries to impart onto the students as well. "Music is a connector, and it connected me to a world that I didn’t always fit in as a child. It helped me find people who I still love to this day, and it’s a big part of this classroom with me and the students I teach, because everybody has a story, and there’s something really incredible about hearing something and it taking you to a happy moment."

As for Ava? She's now taking guitar lessons. And perhaps one day, she can become so famous and inspirational, a teacher sends a student off to find her on a Christmas vacation in the future.

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Community

People are split over noise complaint note woman received after living in apartment for 2 days

Upstairs and downstairs neighbors are at war, but here's who they should really be mad at.

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Apartment living isn't easy...

People who live in apartments are often at war with their neighbors, and the weapon of choice is nasty handwritten notes. Conflicts between upstairs and downstairs neighbors are a tale as old as time. But now the evidence is being logged on the Internet for all to see—and weigh in on.

Everyone has an opinion on passive-aggressive noise complaints from neighbors, but the reality is that the people living in these situations are truly at a loss for how to make things better. One neighbor will swear up and down they're not making any noise, while the person that lives under them complains about the walls shaking and picture frames falling off of their nails. It's an impasse. Who's in the right here?

A woman and her husband recently got a fairly polite but aggressive note about their behavior, almost immediately after moving into their apartment.

gif of a woman shushing a man while he drivesPolitely asking for silence is a lost art. Giphy

She posted it in the subreddit r/Apartmentliving asking for advice. The note reads, in scratchy handwriting:

"Welcome new neighbors, me and my wife live below you and would like to ask if you would please try and walk a little softer, these apartments were built extremely fast and they cut corners especially with the sound proofing. We can hear which room your in, we could probably count your steps. It just drones and shakes our walls and floors and we end up with bad headaches. I would really appreciate it, and my wife too."

The OP had lived in the apartment for a grand total of two days before receiving the note. And she's not the only one. Social media is bursting with similar notes, stories, and screenshots of baffling text exchanges.

See the full post below:

Users were surprisingly divided on the note. Some who knew the pain and frustration of being a downstairs neighbor found it reasonable and polite. Others found it absolutely unhinged and ridiculous.

At face value, asking a person to "walk a little softer" in their own home sounds unreasonable, right? Claiming that only two days of the OP simply existing in her home is causing bad headaches is a little over dramatic, as well.

But people who have lived as downstairs neighbors before get it. Every little noise gets amplified and it really does sound like your neighbors are stomping around, jumping up and down, dragging chains along the floor, and doing all kinds of disruptive things.

The response was mixed. Some urged OP and her husband to be more mindful of the way they move around when they're home:

"I grew up in apartments and naturally walk lightly now when at home, but my house friends walk so heavy. I can notice the difference significantly when we’re both at my place so it’s not a bad idea to take notice if you are just a naturally heavy walker and also no shoes inside. It doesn’t sound too mean but let’s hope just with being a bit more aware then they don’t become annoyingggggg."

"I live in a downstairs unit and have 3 men living above me. The soundproofing is really decent, and I can barely hear 2 of them walking around, they're so quiet. They're big dudes, too. The last guy walks like he weighs 800lbs and has ski boots on, it's insane. I've never heard anyone walk so loudly before, it drives me crazy. I dread him coming home from work every day because I have to listen to him stomp back and forth and shake the walls/ceiling. Some people absolutely don't know how to walk gently."

"I think people just don’t realize that it’s possible to walk normally without making heavy steps."

Other apartment-dwellers were more blunt; opining that the note was way out of line, especially after such a short time:

"Obviously, try to be mindful of how hard you're walking, but beyond that, there's nothing you really can do. You've gotta live your life, and you're paying to do so in that space, so as long as you aren't doing unreasonable things at unreasonable hours, then it's kinda their problem and not yours. That might sound callous, but I mean, if they expect to never have to hear other people, then they may need to reconsider living in an apartment."

"I’d ignore it. Don’t engage. You can walk around, watch tv, take a shower and close cabinets any time of the day or night as long as you’re not screaming, slamming, etc. then there’s nothing they can do.."

"Have you tried learning how to float?"

"If you're counting someone's steps you literally need to find a hobby. My parents still live in an apartment and my Mom does this kind of stuff. Every neighbor bothers her with the least amount of noise. If you have this issue, maybe consider housing that isn't attached to a neighbor?"

In the end, a few people had advice for the couple, or any upstairs neighbor: Put down some extra rugs and make sure you're wearing slippers when walking around the house. That's a simple gesture almost anyone can do for their neighbor's comfort. And, if you can, step lightly. Beyond that, there's not much else you can do.

Buried in the note, however, is the true culprit: Management!

gif of toddler making a faceThere's another culprit here.Giphy

The problem with these conflicts is that neither the upstairs or downstairs neighbor is really wrong. The upstairs neighbor can be doing absolutely nothing of note and it can still be deafeningly loud for the lower tenant. That's a sign of a crappy building that, as the note writer admits, points to corners that have been cut during construction

Some estimates say that apartments with better soundproofing are worth up to 20% more than noisier units. And the time spent dealing with constant complains and quarrels between neighbors is surely costly in its own way. Instead of writing nasty notes, neighbors should put pressure on management to address soundproofing issues—it's for the landlord's own good! They can't exactly remodel the entire building in most cases, but they should be willing to consider adding thick carpet pads, purchasing heavy curtains and drapes, or lining the air ducts to limit sound traveling between units.

Some have argued that landlords and management companies are inherently unethical, or at the very least, incentivized to be lazy and address problems in the cheapest way possible. If you want your apartment experience to get better, send these passive aggressive notes to them instead of your well-meaning neighbors.

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Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Photos by Murat Rahim Caglak and Antoni Shkraba via Canva

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

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Pop Culture

Jason Sudeikis confirms that Ted Lasso will return to coach a women's team for season 4

Ted Lasso fans are already rejoicing.

@newheightsshow/X, GIPHY

Something to look forward to, indeed!

When everyone’s favorite yokel-with-a-heart-of-gold sports coach Ted Lasso hopped on a plane back home to Kansas after three laughter (and tear) filled seasons, fans were left wanting more. And understandably so, because the show itself had a lightning in a bottle quality to it, with its unique take on friendship, mental health, the true meaning of winning, and of course, the power of belief.

Plus, season three left us with so many questions unanswered. What would happen to AFC Richmond with lovable grouch Roy Kent as its new manager? Would Keeley’s pink embellished PR firm be a success? Will Rebecca and the Dutch guy start a romance? Inquiring minds want to know!

And this is why, after months of rumors swirling the Internet, the recent confirmation of a fourth season—made by Jason Sudeikis himself during the March 14 episode of Jason and Travis Kelce's New Heights podcast—is so gosh darn exciting.

It's so exciting, in fact, that Lasso fans couldn’t help but share their anticipation on social media. Check out some of these delightful comments:

“WHAT??? YES!!!!!!!!! Made my week!!!”

“Omg obsessed. Can’t wait for this. Everyone loves Ted Lasso.”

“I need season four like yesterday!!! Hope we get back a lot of familiar faces.”

There's even more to sweeten the pot. This time, Lasso will apparently be coaching a women's team, and, according to Deadline, the story will likely be set, at least temporarily, in Kansas. In case you aren’t privy to Ted Lasso forums online, a very popular fan theory was that Keeley and Rebecca would start a women’s team. Seems they were onto something.

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Deadline also alluded to a reunion of Ted Lasso cast members, including Hannah Waddingham, Brett Goldstein and Jeremy Swift, with contracts for Juno Temple (Keeley) and Brendan Hunt (Coach Beard) being negotiated. Sadly, it looks like fan favorite Jamie Tartt will not be entertaining us with his thick Manchester accent due to scheduling conflicts. We’ll always have the “Jamie Tart” song though.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Part of what made Ted Lasso so impactful was the timing of it all. Premiering in 2020 at the height of the pandemic, it provided a much needed dose of optimism. Lasso in particular offered a refreshing lead character that was kind, humble, agenda-less, and truly trying to bring out the best in people. The world arguably needs that once again, making it an opportune time for the show to return. Cause couldn’t we all use an uplifting Lasso speech right about now?

It also seems that the creators very much intend to keep within this spirit for the upcoming season. Sudeikis shared that, “As we all continue to live in a world where so many factors have conditioned us to ‘look before we leap, 'in season four, the folks at AFC Richmond learn to LEAP BEFORE THEY LOOK, discovering that wherever they land, it’s exactly where they’re meant to be.”

“Leap before you look” certainly goes with “believe,” doesn’t it?

gif of Ted Lasso saying, "Smells like potential"Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lassomedia2.giphy.com

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Disability

Host of 'Survivor' stuns viewers with respectful gesture toward contestant with a stutter

"I'm so thankful you asked that."

SurvivorCBS/Instagram

It costs nothing to be kind.

Reality TV isn't usually the place you go to see great examples of kindness and empathy. But that's exactly what happened on NBC just the other night in a brief moment of humanity wedged in-between all the usual conniving and backstabbing.

Over 80 million people worldwide live with a stutter. It's more common in childhood and many people will outgrow it as they get older, but millions of adults live with this speech disorder. One of them is a man named Mitch Guerra, who just so happens to be a contestant on the latest season of Survivor. Just his presence on the show is bringing so much awareness to an under-discussed and commonly misunderstood disability.

Survivor host Jeff Probst is getting universal praise for the way he handled an interaction with Guerra in a recent episode.

gif of Survivor host saying, "I'll go tally the votes."Jeff ProbstGiphy

In a clip shared on the official Survivor Instagram account, Probst and Guerra share a short but powerful moment.

"Mitch, I have a question," Probst asks after Guerra finishes a sentence with some difficulty. "When you're struggling, do you want help from someone? Or is part of it to let you finish when you're ready to finish."

The question is natural, honest, and refreshing. A lot of people can relate to the genuine confusion—is it better to fill in the blanks for someone who's struggling to speak, or be patient and let them finish when they're having a hard time?

"The hope is that everyone would just kind of hang in there for me and just give me the opportunity to finish my sentence," Guerra answers. "But I'm so thankful you asked that, because people just naturally want to help others, and sometimes we don't feel comfortable enough asking that. So thank you for that."

"Thank you for teaching us how to do it," Probst says.

For what it's worth, the experts say Guerra is exactly right. Friends and allies of people who stutter should maintain eye contact, avoid suggestions or words of encouragement ("Take your time" is not helpful), and wait patiently for the person to finish speaking rather than trying to finish their sentences for them.

Watch the heartwarming interaction here:

Viewers are applauding Probst for his empathetic curiosity, and appreciating Guerra for representing the stuttering community so well.

Over a million people viewed the Reel on Instagram, and the comment section quickly got emotional:

"Super interesting how in answering that, his speech settled - like just being asked how to help relaxed him so that he wasn’t worrying about finishing. Might be coincidence but lovely to see someone asking"

"As a momma with a child who stutters, I loved seeing this moment. Our kiddo has been stuttering since around age 6, now he’s 17 and still struggles with it. Even after after many years of speech therapy. The one thing we learned is just let them continue to talk and don’t try and help with completing the sentences. Mitch is right, just hang in there and let them finish!"

"I have his same stutter so this really hit home for me. It is SO much better (for me personally) when someone just waits out my stutters with me and stays engaged. There’s been so many times where people try to guess what I want to say (often incorrectly) or seemingly lose interest in what I have to say and it makes me feel so rushed and belittled for something I can’t control. I love Mitch so much and he’s really been helping me get over my fear of applying due to my stutter."

"This has literally been one of the most thought provoking and beautiful moments in recent Survivor history. I never considered how our attempts at wanting to be kind and help someone finish their sentence could make them feel less than. THIS was such a powerful interaction and I’m so grateful he had the opportunity to voice this this. Truly beautiful."

One user pointed out that not only was this a beautiful interaction between two people, but the fact that it occurred in front of such a big audience means the small moment could have a big impact in educating people all over the globe.

"Just like that a bunch of people are now informed how to address a situation like that"

Disabilities tend to make us uncomfortable. Even the most well-meaning people can twist themselves into knots not knowing how best to empathetically approach a situation where another person is struggling, and we might feel like it's rude or inconsiderate to ask. But that fear ultimately holds us back from a deeper understanding of what people are going through and how we can help. Kudos to Probst and Guerra for showing us what an honest and empathetic conversation can and should look like.

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