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Here's what actual trans military voices have to say about Trump's ban.

An estimated 15,000 trans people currently serve in the military.

In June 2016, the U.S. secretary of defense made a long-overdue announcement: The military was ending its ban on transgender service members.

With the 2011 end to the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy banning gay, lesbian, and bisexual people from serving, allowing trans people to serve openly seemed like the logical next step.

As then-Secretary of Defense Ash Carter explained, “Our mission is to defend this country, and we don’t want barriers unrelated to a person’s qualifications to serve preventing us from recruiting or retaining the soldier, sailor, airman, or Marine who can best accomplish the mission.”


Fast-forward a year, and President Trump has undone that progress, tweeting that "the United States Government will not accept or allow transgender individuals to serve in any capacity in the U.S. military."

He cited "tremendous medical costs" as the reason behind his decision despite the fact that a RAND Corporation study found that the total additional cost of allowing trans people to serve in the military is $2.4 million-8.4 million. (For comparison, in 2014, the military spent more than 10 times that on erectile dysfunction medication alone.)

But maybe Trump's decision wasn't about cost at all. According to Axios reporter Jonathan Swan, a Trump administration official was quoted as saying the move "forces Democrats in Rust Belt states like Ohio, Michigan, and Wisconsin, to take complete ownership of this issue."

"How will the blue collar voters in these states respond when senators up for re-election in 2018 like Debbie Stabenow are forced to make their opposition to this a key plan of their campaigns?" Swan quoted the official as saying.

In other words, Trump's decision doesn't seem to be about readiness, cost, or any of the other reasons frequently tossed around by opponents of trans inclusion in the military. Instead, it's just a game of politics, with trans lives as pawns.

There are currently an estimated 15,000 trans people serving in the military. What do they think of Trump reinstating the ban? We asked them.

Amanda Clark was discharged back in 2007 after coming out as trans. While she says she's ambivalent about military service, she sees this as a matter of basic civil rights.

"I can’t possibly fathom what openly out trans people in the military are feeling right now. Hell, I feel scared now just being a trans person in the civilian world. It feels like the f*cking fascists who run this country are coming for us, and openly serving trans people are next. I’m sure a lot of officers/[non-commissioned officers] are going to be thrilled to get involved in paperwork hell discharging folks."

Kristen Carella, who served on active duty 2001-2005 as an intelligence analyst stationed in Germany, pointed out that many U.S. allies (18 in total, including Australia, Canada, France, Germany, Spain, and the United Kingdom) allow trans people to serve without issue.

"Here was an opportunity for this country to move forward, recognizing the sacrifices transgender people have ALWAYS made in the armed forces, by allowing us to serve openly. [According to Human Rights Campaign] stats 26% of the trans community serves in the military at some point during their lives, that is TWICE the rate of the general population.

Trump's decision is a stunning reversal that can be taken only as a slap in the face, personally to every transgender person who has ever served. It accomplishes nothing more than making sure transgender people remain a demonized and hated target that right-wing politicians can target to scare their base and push their agendas. Of course, all of this demonization ensures that the ignorant violence which leads bigots to murder transgender people in the streets (particularly trans women of color) will continue."

Penelope R., an intersex trans woman who served in the Air Force for six years before leaving to pursue transition, says "members are going to die" because of this new policy, and she urges those who might not generally support the military to care about this.

"[The] American military, despite its many infelicities, has always been a reliable space for many kinds of marginalized people to hide out in. This is why trans people are disproportionately represented in the military.

Enlisting was always a last resort for me — I've known I was trans since I was a child, and knew going into the military meant carving away parts of my identity I cherished, but at the time the alternative was death. Just death. I chose to live, and as a result I met my wife, found a chosen family that makes the sun rise for me, made enough money to afford transition, and qualified me to receive transitional health care from the Illinois VA. ... The military helped make my life worth living. And now it's all gone to shit for everyone.

Despite what he says, there's nothing Trump can say or do to stop trans people from serving — he can only get rid of those he knows about. It will only go back to how it was before, with trans service members confined to the closet at the risk of their careers."



Then-Defense Secretary Ash Carter lifts the ban on trans troops on June 30, 2016. Photo by Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty Images.

Landon Wilson, who served in the Navy and was the topic of a widely read 2014 Washington Post profile about trans people in the military, points out that the  ban means "honorably serving people" will be removed from service, "effectively weakening our country."

"It's a heartbreaking shame that the President of the United States is choosing to ignore the sacrifices of transgender service members, particularly at a time where so many have proven their dedication to this country. A diverse military makes a strong military; by removing honorably serving people from service, the President is effectively weakening our country, both as a fighting force and as a leader in civil rights."

Vivian Wise, an information systems technician on active duty in the Navy, came out to her shipmates the day President Obama and Secretary Carter lifted the ban in 2016. She disagrees with President Trump's assertion that trans people serving in the military is a "disruption."

"To say that my service has been a 'disruption' is an outright lie. My Commanding Officer, immediate superiors and co-workers have all been fully supportive of me. I am one of the senior technicians within my division, responsible for training our new sailors and managing our day-to-day and week-to-week work list. I was, until just now, being groomed to lead one of our division's two watch teams for our upcoming deployment, beginning late next year. In that capacity, I serve a critical role in my work center.

Summarily discharging me from military service, for nothing more than petty bigotry and electoral politics, is the disruption. The GOP as a whole, and the Trump administration in particular, are degrading my unit and hundreds if not thousands of other units across the armed services by taking away valuable people. We, and the American people, deserve better than this."

Cisgender allies, activists, and experts are voicing their concerns, as well.

In an email, TransMilitary co-director and executive producer Fiona Dawson (who, in 2015, documented the story of two trans service members who fell in love) weighed in on the move, saying she hopes Trump will actually take the time to meet some of the trans personnel he deems unfit for service.

"Donald Trump's assertions against transgender service members are baseless. Science and ethics determine there is no rational reason why the thousands of transgender women and men who have been defending our country and fighting for our freedom for hundreds of years should not be permitted to continue doing so."

Former Secretary Carter offered his opinion on the reinstatement of the discriminatory policy as well, saying that it "has no place in our military."

Advocacy organizations and civil rights groups across the country are issuing press releases, denouncing the tweet on a number of grounds.

The Palm Center called this "a worse version of 'Don't Ask Don't Tell'" and hit Trump over his claims of "tremendous costs."

"As we know from the sad history of that discredited policy, discrimination harms military readiness. This is a shocking and ignorant attack on our military and on transgender troops who have been serving honorably and effectively for the past year. As former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Mike Mullen stated yesterday, their service must be respected. The Rand Corporation has estimated that the cost of medical care for transgender troops is approximately one one-hundredth of one percent of the military annual health care budget, or at most, $8.4 million per year. To claim otherwise is to lie about the data."

Tyler Deaton of the American Unity Fund, a conservative LGBTQ organization, criticized Trump for going back on what he saw as LGBTQ-friendly campaign promises in a statement that is long but worth reading in its entirety:

"President Trump promised to protect the transgender community. As President, he said he was 'respectful and supportive of LGBTQ rights' and would 'protect the community from violence and oppression.' But President Trump has broken his promise and, coupled with his administration's efforts to roll back protections for transgender students in our nation's public schools, he is developing an undeniable pattern of anti-gay and anti-transgender policy while in office. ... As conservatives and advocates for LGBTQ freedom, AUF calls on President Trump to reconsider his comments, and stand with all of our soldiers, including those who are transgender."

Former Justice Department official Vanita Gupta, currently president and CEO of the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, slammed Trump's move as "yet another broken promise to the American people."

"President Trump doesn't understand that our military is stronger when there are no discriminatory barriers to service. The civil and human rights community will continue to loudly and proudly stand up for the rights of all who are willing to protect the security of our country, including the thousands of transgender people currently serving in our military."

And of course, there was pushback from a number of Democratic and Republican politicians alike.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-California) commented on the sad irony of Trump's decision to increase discrimination on the 69th anniversary of President Truman's order to desegregate the military.

Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-New York) announced plans to introduce legislation that would overrule Trump's decision.

Rep. Jerry Nadler (D-New York) highlighted the number of trans people serving in the military.

Rep. Illeana Ros-Lehtinen (R-Florida), who has a transgender son, spoke out against it as well.

Rep. Joe Kennedy III (D-Massachusetts) offered to stand in solidarity with trans soldiers.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah) said "transgender people are people, and deserve the best we can do for them."

And Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-New York) called trans service members "patriots."

Trans people exist in the world and have every right to engage in the same activities and occupations as anybody else.

This is a big deal, and it's not just a distraction. Nobody should be discriminated against for who they are — not in the military, not in education, not in housing, not in employment, not in health care, not at all.

All illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

It's hard to truly describe the amazing bond between dads and their daughters.

Being a dad is an amazing job no matter the gender of the tiny humans we're raising. But there's something unique about the bond between fathers and daughters. Most dads know what it's like to struggle with braiding hair, but we also know that bonding time provides immense value to our daughters. In fact, studies have shown that women with actively involved fathers are more confident and more successful in school and business.

You know how a picture is worth a thousand words? I'll just let these images sum up the daddy-daughter bond.

A 37-year-old Ukrainian artist affectionately known as Soosh, recently created some ridiculously heartwarming illustrations of the bond between a dad and his daughter, and put them on her Instagram feed. Sadly, her father wasn't involved in her life when she was a kid. But she wants to be sure her 9-year-old son doesn't follow in those footsteps.

"Part of the education for my kiddo who I want to grow up to be a good man is to understand what it's like to be one," Soosh told Upworthy.

There are so many different ways that fathers demonstrate their love for their little girls, and Soosh pretty much nails all of them.

Get ready to run the full gamut of the feels.

1. Dads can do it all. Including hair.

parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artworkA father does his daughter's hairAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

2. They also make pretty great game opponents.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, chessA father plays chess with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

3. And the Hula-Hoop skills? Legendary.



parenting, dads, daughters, fathers, art, artwork, hula hoopA dad hula hoops with his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.

4. Dads know there's always time for a tea party regardless of the mountain of work in front of them.



A dad talks to his daughter while working at his deskAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


5. And their puppeteer skills totally belong on Broadway.



A dad performs a puppet show for his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


6. Dads help us see the world from different views.



A dad walks with his daughter on his backAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


7. So much so that we never want them to leave.



a dad carries a suitcase that his daughter holds ontoAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


8. They can make us feel protected, valued, and loved.



A dad holds his sleeping daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


9. Especially when there are monsters hiding in places they shouldn't.



A superhero dad looks over his daughterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


10. Seeing the daddy-daughter bond as art perfectly shows how beautiful fatherhood can be.



A dad takes the small corner of the bed with his dauthterAll illustrations are provided by Soosh and used with permission.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

Canva

Gen Z doesn't get their own humor.

When it comes to jokes, some generations love a very clear set-up-punch. "My wife is so lazy she… ba dum tss!"

For Gen Xers, "storytelling jokes" became more popular, made famous by the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Patton Oswalt, and David Cross. You were there for the hilarity peppered throughout a story, rather than the traditional short-form approach. Think Louis C.K., John Mulaney, or Kevin Hart.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But on the subreddit group r/outoftheloop, a blatant question was posed: "What is up with Gen Z humor?"

The question comes from a very earnest place. A 35-year-old Millennial woman simply wants to connect more with her 22-year-old Gen Z sister. The OP (@trainstationpoet) writes, "She is the best marshmallow squishy ray of light I’ve ever known. When I see her I just want to connect in every way possible to get that sibling good-good. She sends me some memes like this one and I genuinely do not understand ANY of them."

There is a link to Know Your Meme, which contains a picture of the following: a stick figure drawing of a smoking man with a hat entering through a door into a bunch of squiggles and capital "As." On top, it says "Are Ya Winning, Son? Don't forget to play The Last of Us too.." (I, too, am stumped.)

She then shares the same website with a piece entitled, "13 Reminders That Gen Z Kids Are Still The Future (Of Memes)" with different examples of what generations might find funny. Even the intro paragraph could be read as sarcastic, so wait—is THAT Gen Z humor?

For example, someone (and there doesn't seem to be a byline) writes, "There's nothing like a dose of good old generational stereotyping to distinguish between the different age groups. Boomers are the 'selfish and entitled ones' (depending on your age), whereas Millennials are the different, more self-aware brand of selfish and entitled (or self-loathing). As for Gen Z, they've got bigger fish to deep-fry than entering an argument about whether or not they're repeating the pattern."

They add, seemingly more sincerely, "The youngest generation is truly one of the strangest, because they laugh at their pain in a way that older generations haven't been able to. And there's something kind of endearing about that, in a messed-up sort of way. The cheerful pessimism and absurdist nature of Zoomer humor reminds us that even if everything won't be okay for the youth of today, at least they've gotten pretty good at making some truly detached and meaningless jokes online, as these examples remind us."

They then proceed to share memes to exemplify this premise. One, also sourced from Reddit, is titled "Le Gen Z has arrived." Underneath, it says "Boomer humor: Bad Wife, Millennial humor: Bad Life, Gen Z humor:" and it's merely a cartoon of a dog giving side-eye to a pink "beast version" of said dog who seems to be pawing a blue "beast version" of said dog and… oh never mind, I don't get it!

meme, side eye, gif, dog, gen z, humorSide Eye Dog Meme GIFGiphy

Back on the Reddit thread, the OP adds, "What I really don’t understand is the ‘why’ of the Gen Z humor. Boomer = low-hanging fruit that is 25% funny, 75% putting down other people. Millennial humor is self-deprecating jokes about wanting to be dead. Gen X humor is… idk, I never hear about them honestly. Then Gen Z humor (to me) is about taking acid, ending up on the astral plane and saying one to five words that vaguely represent the picture in the meme."

There are thousands of comments. One Redditor offers sound advice, which is essentially not to show fear. "Best advice to add: Don't say you don't get the meme. Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes. You just sound old if you say that. The memes go fast and don't stick for long, so if you don't get it, don't ask about it."

Another explains that trends change so quickly for Zoomers, they want to make it seem like they're always keeping up. "When people hear ‘meme’ they expect a joke generally. I don’t think that’s how Gen Z sees it. Being in the know is the important part for them. I’m reminded of fashion trends… in my personal opinion, many fashion trends are ridiculous, memes are now fashion trends, it’s not about funny it’s about popular."

memes, gifs, confusing meme, gen z humor, generational humorMeme Reaction GIF by TokkingheadsGiphy

Many add that the jokes are deeply layered and purposely confusing. And when one starts to go down the rabbit hole, it actually is pretty brilliant in all its absurdity.

Bottom line, everything about Gen Z's humor is perfectly summed up by this comment: "Apparently postmodernism includes post-postmodernism."

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

CBS News/Youtube & Michael Li/Flickr

JD Vance "fumbles" the coveted college football national championship trophy.

It's a tradition for sports teams that win major championships to receive the honor of visiting the White House and meeting the President. The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles will be visiting soon. The World Series winning Los Angeles Dodgers visited earlier this year. And just this week, the national champions Ohio State Buckeyes took the stage with President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, an Ohio State alum.

It was a simple photo opp. There would be no hard hitting questions from journalists about the economy or Russia. Everyone involved was there to simply celebrate the accomplishments of a talented and hard working group of young men in a controversy-free ceremony. What could possibly go wrong?

JD Vance had other plans. The moment he went to hoist the trophy, it appeared to quite literally fall apart in his hands.

Vance puzzled over the trophy for a moment as he tried to slide it toward himself. Then, as he began to lift it, the top half toppled over only to be caught by Ohio State running back TreVeyon Henderson before hitting the ground. You can actually hear the crowd gasping and holding their breath before Henderson saves it, all while the United States Marine Corps Band performs "We Are the Champions." You honestly couldn't script a more hilarious sequence if you hired Hollywood's funniest comedy writers.

To be fair, the college playoff national championship trophy is a little confusingly constructed. The bottom half is just a black stand for the trophy itself, which is the 26.5 inch tapered golden piece on top. So technically, Vance didn't break the trophy. He just didn't realize that it came apart in two pieces.

But it was too late. The blunder was caught by dozens and dozens of cameras, with the jokes about Vance "fumbling" the trophy nearly writing themselves.

Watch the wild video here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Vance, the Internet's favorite punching bag as of late, suddenly found himself on the butt end of an avalanche of jokes.

Vance is no stranger to being made fun of on the Web. First, it was the theories that he wears eyeliner while simultaneously preaching about the death of masculinity. Then, it was enterprising social media users engaging in a war of one-upmanship to see who could create the most horrifying, bloated caricature of the VP.

And now, he can add this fumblerooski to his resume.

In a thread posted on the subreddit WatchPeopleDieInside, people came with their best jokes at Vance's expense:

"Ahh I see it's because the trophy didn't wear a suit and say thank you"

"That man has never held a trophy in his life."

"They are going to blame the Democrats for this."

On X, one user wrote, "JD Vance: Can't order donuts. Can't hold a normal conversation. Can't hold a trophy without breaking it."

Honestly, jokes were barely necessary. The photos are hilarious enough. The top half of the trophy tumbling limply into Vance's shoulder. Vance bending down, scrambling to pick up the base. It's all just *chefs kiss.*


People on the right had some fun at the VP's expense, too.

"Trophy must be made in China," one Reddit user joked.

"Dan Quail on steroids," added another.

Fox News couldn't help themselves, either. They made more than a few puns about Vance "fumbling" the trophy.

Even Vance himself had no choice but to try to take the mockery in stride.

The Trump administration is off to a controversial start, to put it extremely lightly. JD Vance's trophy snafu harkens back to a simpler time when we all came together to make fun of George W. Bush not knowing how to pronounce words or Gerald Ford tumbling down the stairs of Air Force One. There isn't much that's able to bring people from different sides of the aisle together anymore, and this one is just a minor blip in the grander scheme. But this little reprieve in the news cycle has definitely been a much needed source of comic relief.

Kids

A daring boy invited classmates to his birthday party. One problem: there was no birthday party.

One mom knew the invite seemed fishy, but couldn't believe her eyes when they showed up.

Canva Photos

A mischievous boy created his own DIY birthday invitations.

We've all heard the sob stories about kids who invite the whole class to their birthday party, only for no one to show up. It's heartbreaking and horrific and all too common. But who's ever heard of a story where people showed up, but there was no birthday party?!

One mom is going viral for sharing a laugh-out-loud story of a young boy's ingenuity. It all started with an innocent-enough birthday invitation her own son brought home from school.

surprise, surprise party, birthday party, birthday, parenting, kidsWhen the parents don't even know about it, that's a successful surprise party.Giphy

The mom, who goes by Bree on TikTok, tells the tale in a now-viral clip. She says her son brought home a homemade (very homemade) birthday invitation from school. It read, in child's handwriting, "Your invited to my birthday, yay!" On the back, the chicken scratch read, "Come over and play soccer, play FIFA, do the trampoline..." and more.

Bree was suspicious of the invite from the get-go, but figured the boy's parents had just let him make his own. As an exhausted dad, I can definitely imagine a scenario where my wife and I just give up completely and let our youngest write whatever the heck she wants to and hand them out herself. So, although the handwritten invite was a little weird, it was easily explainable.

But then the strikes started adding up. Bree's son told her that they didn't have to RSVP and that the party was the very next day.

Bree, being a cool mom, decided to roll with it and show up anyway. And that's when things got hilarious.

“I turn the corner—not one balloon inside, not one table, not one chair inside, just [the boy's] dad and his three uncles. That's it. The dad looks at me, kind of surprised, and I was like, ‘Hi, we're here for the birthday party!’ And he just says, ‘Oh, okay, my wife's not home.’”

After waiting around for other people to show up to the party (unsuccessfully), Bree and her son noticed the boy taking a cake out of the fridge so everyone could dig in. At that point, Bree was pretty certain there was no party and they high-tailed it out of there.

Watch her tell the hysterical story here:


@breesquirrely

Talk about stressed 😂😂 #relatable #kids #mom #family #fypシ #trending

Viewers had a lot of theories and takes on the whole awkward debacle.

The video has been viewed almost 10 million times to date, with thousands reaching out in the comments to share their appreciation for the story. Some loved that Bree's son was such a good friend that he was willing to show up anywhere, anytime:

"At least you know your son is ready to rock for anyone. He doesn’t need decorations, cake, or even other guests ; that boy is ready to party."

"You're raising a good hearted young man. He didn't care for decor or anything he just wanted to show up for his friend."

@breesquirrely

Replying to @🌻 I highly doubt there was ever a birthday party 😂😂😂 ##update##part2##kids##relatable##fypシ##trending

Some said their own kids (or even themselves!) had pulled similar shenanigans in the past:

"My daughter did this, she made birthday invitations and passed them out to her classmates with my number noted. Had all the parents calling asking for address. There was no party."

"I'm 65 now...when I was in 1st grade I invited my entire class to come to my birthday party on Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning and told my Mom."

Others were concerned about the boy, wondering if he threw his own birthday party because no one else would. In replies to comments, Bree said that didn't seem to be the case. "I think it was a case of kids being kids and he forgot to tell his mama about the party he planned," she said.

Whatever the case, most commenters could agree that the boy in question wanted a play date with his friends and decided to take matters into his own hands to make it happen.

It's frustrating to be a kid and have so many things out of your control. When you're young, all your friendships are managed by your parents (for good reason) and while that keeps responsibility off your young shoulders, it's also challenging. Most of us remember being a kid and our best friend suddenly moving away with no warning! It's crushing and makes you feel helpless.

The boy who threw his own impromptu birthday party was practicing something called agency, which means the ability to make decisions about things that affect you and a belief that you have some power to control what happens to you. Agency is an important developmental milestone for kids and adults, and it's a key piece of our overall mental health. Some parents foster agency in their kids by printing up play date business cards that their children can hand out with a parent's phone number on them—seriously. The children may not arrange the play dates themselves but they can hand out cards to new friends they meet and have some control over their own social lives. Other parents encourage agency by asking their kids questions instead of telling them what to do, or practicing active listening techniques.

And then, of course, some kids take agency into their own hands with secret, hilarious plans that their parents know nothing about. If nothing else, this kid displayed an entrepreneurial spirit that will take him far one day.

For the parents out there, though, Bree warns to make sure birthday invitations are parent-approved before showing up anywhere. Unless you want to exercise your adventurous side, that is.