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Pro-choicer called a 'murderer,' hits back with hard questions about what 'pro-life' really means

Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs?

via National Organization of Women

A 'Keep Abortion Legal' sign in Washington, D.C.

Calling a pro-choice person a "murderer" is a sadly common inflammatory insult hurled by pro-birthers. In true medical terms, terminating an embryo is terminating a multicellular diploid eukaryotic organism, not murdering a person. Nonetheless, people still invoke images of infanticide in order to demonize people advocating for reproductive health care access. Normalizing a debate around whether abortion is murder has only further stigmatized the very real existential threats women face without birth control and safe abortion access.

A recent screenshot posted on the Murdered by Words page showed a heated exchange between a pro-choicer and the pro-birth person who called them an advocate for murder. The pro-choicer ignored the initial insult of "murderer" and continued the conversation by grilling the pro-lifer about how they intend to help build a world where people can healthily raise children.

murdered by words, abortion, pro-life debate, pro-choice debate, women's rights, murder, abortion fightAn inflammatory text about abortion rights.via Reddit

The response read:

"What happens next? Once you have succeeded in your quest to stop the termination of a pregnancy - disregarding the circumstances for why the woman or couple wants to terminate (failed birth control, rape, lack of financial stability, unsuitable environment, domestic violence, mental health issues, lack of employment, medical issues, lack of comprehensive sexual education) - what happens next?"

"Who pays for the prenatal or postnatal care? Surely not a couple working a minimum wage who can barely afford their rent. Who provides healthcare and funds medical bills for a single woman with no place to live? Or a married couple who struggle to afford the children they already have? Who assists the millions of children in foster care, still waiting to be adopted? Who helps them when they hit the street at 18 with no money or life skills?"

Will you and your ilk - the self-proclaimed 'pro-life' community help to fund comprehensive sexual education for teens? How about access to affordable birth control? Why not promote a vasectomy as a viable option for men who don't want children? How about funding scientific research so men can have more birth control options than just condoms? Is your community going to help pay for healthcare and education costs? Once you have succeeded in stopping the termination of a pregnancy, what role will you have in ensuring a quality of life for the foetus you so desperately wanted to save?"

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, toronto, university of toronto, canadaPro-life protestors. via University of Toronto/Flickr

The pro-life person simply responded by claiming it's the parents' responsibility, which ushered in a final call out of the hypocrisy of many factions of the pro-life movement.

abortion, women's rights, pro-life, pro-choice, abortion debate, children, babies, protestsA pro-choice protestor holding a sign.via Steve Rhodes/Flickr

The pro-choicer's rebuttal ended with a bang, calling out all the ways the pro-birth community fails to support life after conception:

"And there's the money shot. Here's a wakeup call - you don't get to come into my inbox and sh*t all over my Sunday with your over-inflated Messiah complex with your Facebook profile filled with delusions of superiority declaring yourself to be on the side of "life." when in reality your compassion stops just inside the vaginal canal."
"Don't embarrass yourself and pretend that you give a flying f*ck about what happens once a foetus is born, or about the people who aren't equipped to raise them. Don't pretend you give a sh*t about children when you aren't prepared to do a damn thing about the millions of struggling families on welfare, or the millions of children in foster care."
Don't pretend you give a sh*t about life, when you would rather just sit by and smugly proclaim women should 'close their legs' because it's less energy to do so than it is to lobby for resources that would make it easier for people to become parents. Go away."

Suffice it to say, the pro-birther had no rebuttal after that.

Since this article was published in 2019, there have been massive shifts in abortion law in the United States. Several states began passing very restrictive abortion laws to challenge Roe v. Wade, the landmark 1973 Supreme Court Decision that made abortion legal throughout the United States. In 2022, the Supreme Court, bolstered by 6 to 3 conservative super majority, overturned Roe in the landmark Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case. The decision returned legal power to the states and, as a result, abortion was quickly banned or limited in states such as Alabama and Arkansas, and rights were strengthened in others, including California and Michigan.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared six years ago on SomeeCards.

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women's rights
Health

Bra company CEO wants his male employees to know what it’s like to have large breasts

Their boss mandates it.

via PrimaDonna/YouTube

The male employees of PrimaDonna try on their "breasts."

Let's face it, it's a lot easier to be a man than a woman. Although men die four years earlier than women, they get to live without the extra burdens of menstrual cramps, lower pay, the pain of childbirth, heightened threat of violence, and, on the benign but annoying side, the feeling of a bra strap digging into their backs.

But now, the CEO of a bra company is making the men who work for him experience what it's like to wear a bra and have large breasts so they can understand what many women go through every day.

One day a year, PrimaDonna CEO Ignace Van Doorselaere makes his male employees wear simulated E-cup-sized breasts for an entire work day. "There is only one way for a man to realize what an E-cup feels like, and that is having an E-cup," Van Doorselaere says.

In order to simulate the feeling of carrying around E-cup-sized breasts, the men wear weights hung around their necks. "Let's be honest, an E-Cup can weigh up to 1 or 1.5 kilograms (2.2 to 3.5 lbs) per breast," Van Doorselaere says. "This is a lot. It hurts your neck. It hurts your back. Imagine you are that woman. Carry those breasts for an entire day. That's why you need good support. Good support is important. Everybody at PrimaDonna knows that now."

BodyWell Healthcare notes that not having a supportive bra can do a lot of damage to all women, but especially those with larger breasts. Just some of the issues are those already outlined by Doorselaere: neck pain, shoulder pain, headaches, back tension, poor posture and hunching, and breast and chest pain.

Because breasts are mainly made up of mammary glands and soft tissue with support structures like Cooper's Ligaments around them, they need a lot of exterior support as well. Just due to natural movement throughout the day like exercise, walking, jogging, commuting, etc, breasts are subject to a lot of movement that can be damaging to the soft tissue and stretch out the ligaments. These problems can lead to pain, sagging, and loss of skin elasticity.

Wearing a good bra, then, comes with a lot of benefits for all women. A properly-fitted and supportive bra can prevent sagging, enhance natural shape, offer support and weight distribution for the breasts, provide comfort, and even boost confidence.

Looks like these men are learning the truth about breast pain and the need for support goes a long way.


This article originally appeared eight years ago.

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What do women do when no one is watching? These images sum it up nicely.

Realness is key in Sally Nixon's work.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The wonderfully real world of women.

woman in striped orange shirt sipping soda through a straw against leafy background
Nixon's insight is simple and beautiful.Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

Well, take a look at Sally Nixon's illustrations and you'll see.

illustration of women looking at movies in a video store

Just girly things.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The subjects in her artwork aren't aware we're looking at them.

woman sits on a bench and stares at her phone in a mall

Unbothered.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

And that's the point. They're living in a world free from the pressures that exist in the real one.

illustration of women relaxing on a blanket outside eating donuts

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

"I like drawing girls doing their everyday routine—just hanging out, not worried about what others are thinking," Nixon told Upworthy. "They're usually alone or with other girls. Their guard is down."

Editor's note: An image below contains partial nudity.

Capturing her subjects in this liberated light wasn't intentional at first, she explained.

woman sits on the toilet with her dog beside her

Mundane moments.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

But when she started a 365-day challenge in April in 2015 to create one art piece a day, the work started reflecting the nuances of her own life away from prying eyes— "I was kind of like, 'Oh, I'm brushing my teeth, so I'll draw that."— and a theme began to form. Her illustrations show how women look, away from the exhausting world where they're often judged more harshly than men.

illustrations of women having lunch outside against a red tile wall

Enjoying a drink.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

You also might notice none of the girls in her illustrations are smiling.

illustration of woman in her underwear sitting at the table spreading jam on bread

Because women aren't constantly smiling when they're on their own.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

According to Nixon, that's a deliberate choice.

"I don't sit around smiling to myself," Nixon said, noting the double standard that exists in thinking women should always appear cheerful. "I've been told, 'You need to smile more.' It's so infuriating. I wanted to show the way girls actually look, comfortably."

illustration of woman from the shoulders down standing at her open fridge

These works aim to capture slices of every day life, not posed moments.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

The theme of friendship is also an important one in Nixon's drawings.

illustration of two women sitting together on a couch with wine and cheese

In community.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

“I have four older sisters, so female friendship has always been a big part of my life," Nixon told The Huffington Post in 2016. “You gotta have someone to talk about periods with, and dudes just don't get it."

illustration of woman napping with her dog on her couch

Sometimes reality is a nap on the couch with your pup.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

Creating relatable scenes was key to Nixon, too — from the details of women's lives to the physical shapes of their bodies.

illustration of partially naked woman putting on pantyhose

Hidden moments and natural bodies.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

“It's important that the women I draw aren't rail thin with huge boobs," Nixon said. “I think there are enough images of bodies like that out in the world. The ladies I draw typically have small-ish, droopy breasts and thick thighs. They're kind of lumpy but in an attractive way. Just like real people."

The women in Nixon's work aren't real, but she hopes their stories are.

illustration of woman eating cake at kitchen counter

Let women eat cake.

Artwork courtesy of Sally Nixon, used with permission.

"One of my absolute favorite comments [on my work] is, 'Oh my God, it's me!'" she explained of the depictions. "There's a little bit of beauty in [everyday life] and I wanted to bring that out."

You can view more of Nixon's artwork on her website and check out her prints for purchase on Etsy.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.






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Health

How 7 things that have nothing to do with rape perfectly illustrate the concept of consent.

Well this is all a very brilliant way to show what it's all about.

mage from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There are many different scenarios where consent is necessary.

In 2013, Zerlina Maxwell ignited a firestorm of controversy when she strongly recommended we stop telling women how to not get raped.

Here are her words, from the transcript of her appearance on Sean Hannity's show:

"I don't think that we should be telling women anything. I think we should be telling men not to rape women and start the conversation there with prevention."

So essentially—instead of teaching women how to avoid rape, let's raise boys specifically to not rape.

There was a lot of ire raised from that idea. Maxwell was on the receiving end of a deluge of online harassment and threats because of her ideas. The backlash was egregious, but sadly, it's nothing new. Such reactions are sadly common for outspoken women on the Internet.

People assumed it meant she was labeling all boys as potential rapists or that every man has a rape-monster he carries inside him unless we quell it from the beginning.

But the truth is most of the rapes women experience are perpetrated by people they know and trust. So, fully educating boys during their formative years about what constitutes consent and why it's important to practice explicitly asking for consent could potentially eradicate a large swath of acquaintance rape. It's not a condemnation on their character or gender, but an extra set of tools to help young men approach sex without damaging themselves or anyone else.

screenshot from Hannity show

Zerlina Maxwell is interviewed on "Hannity."

Image from “Hannity."

But what does teaching boys about consent really look like in action?

Well, there's the viral letter I wrote to my teen titled "Son, It's Okay If You Don't Get Laid Tonight" explaining his responsibility in the matter. I wanted to show by example that Maxwell's words weren't about shaming or blaming boys who'd done nothing wrong yet, but about giving them a road map to navigate their sexual encounters ahead.

There are also rape prevention campaigns on many college campuses, aiming to reach young men right at the heart of where acquaintance rape is so prevalent. The 2014 movement, "It's On Us," was backed by The White House and widely welcomed by many young men.

And then there are creative endeavors to find the right metaphors and combination of words to get people to shake off their acceptance of cultural norms and see rape culture clearly.

This is brilliant:

comics that illustrate consent

A comic about different types of consent.

Image from Everyday Feminism, used with permission by creator Alli Kirkham.

There you have it. Seven comparisons that anyone can use to show how simple and logical the idea of consent really is. Consent culture is on its way because more and more people are sharing these ideas and getting people to think critically. How can we not share an idea whose time has come?

This article originally appeared ten years ago.

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