+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Family

Need to have a tough talk with your kid? Doctor suggests to have it in your car.

A great piece of advice for those "awkward but important" talks every parent must have.

conversations with kids, parentings, communication, talking in cars
@beachgem10/TikTok

Dr. Meghan Martin explains why tough conversations are best kept for the car.

As much as modern parents prioritize open, honest communication with their kids, there are still some talks that will always feel challenging to have.

But according to Dr. Meghan Martin, a pediatric emergency room physician and mom of four with a hefty social media following, making those awkward conversations just a little smoother all comes down to location, location, location.

“Those awkward, but really important conversations that you need to have with your kids The birds and the bees, protection, drugs, all of that stuff: have those conversations in the car,” “ she says in a clip posted to her TikTok.

Martin declared that this “brilliant” insight given to her by best friend, handle @teawiththeteach, is the “best piece of parenting advice” she’s ever received.

Here’s why.

“You have your hands on the wheel, you are looking straight ahead, you do not have to be making eye contact with anyone talking about the birds and the bees and the parts and the drugs or whatever that conversation is about that day. You also have a captive audience that is literally seat belted in behind you,” she explained.

Not having to maintain intense eye contact makes the entire conversation less embarrassing and vulnerable for everyone involved. And where there’s less embarrassment, there’s more room for things to actually be heard.

Plus, unlike having a talk at home, which already has serious undertones, cars are instantly more casual, making things less of a “big deal,” Martin noted. Just think, wouldn't it be nice to instantly throw on an upbeat playlist after having one of these chats…rather than sitting in awkward silence?

Martin herself has tried this approach with her two older kids, and said the car has now become a “safe place” for things to be talked about. They even bring up their own questions to discuss.


@beachgem10 Replying to @user2271606969875 The best piece parenting advice was from @teawiththeteach and she said to have uncomfortable conversations with kids in the car #parenting #advice #thebirdsandthebees #conversation ♬ original sound - Beachgem10

“I’m starting to have these conversations with my younger kids,” she concluded, “and I want to emphasize how important it is to talk about these issues early so that when you get to that older teen/pre-teen time that it’s not the first time they’re hearing about it.”

Martin isn’t the only one to have tried car talk either. Many folks in the comments shared how they have successfully brought up difficult subjects on car trips.

“Yes, my oldest is 26 and I still have big conversations with him in the car. At that age I wait until we’re on the interstate so he can’t jump out,” one person wrote.

“I love the car for tough conversations even with my spouse,” added another.

A few recalled having their own tough car conversations as kids.

“My mom ALWAYS did this,”one viewer said, adding “I still get anxiety in the car with her wondering what she is going to bring up and I have my own family now. ... I am glad she did and that she cared enough to have those conversations.”

Another parent even shared how they added in one other element to make for smoother discussions, writing ““I did this. Add an ice cream cone to connect something enjoyable for the brain to connect to. My boys would ask for ice cream drives when they had something serious they wanted to discuss.”

Other resources have pondered other factors that make conversations seem to flow easier in a car, like the close proximity, limited distractions, and the changing scenery which helps create the sense that we’re not stuck with a problem. An article posted in Symptoms of Living also surmises that having a shared destination and facing the same direction also play a big part.

Having big talks with kids might be difficult, but it’s all an integral part of being a parent. Hopefully this tidbit can make things easier for everyone involved.

Just remember to have that upbeat playlist at the ready!

From Your Site Articles
modern families
Family

A 6-year-old designed a custom t-shirt for his first day of school and it's seriously the best

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.

Unfading adornments

When 6-year-old Blake Rajahn shows up to his first grade classroom on Monday, he will arrive bearing an uplifting a message for his fellow students.

Blake's mother, Nikki Rajahn, runs a custom personalization business in Fayette County, Georgia, and she asked her son what kind of t-shirt he wanted for his first day of school. He could have chosen anything—his favorite sports star's number, a cool dragon, a witty saying—anything he wanted, she could make.

Blake chose something unexpected—an orange t-shirt with a simple, sweet message for the other kids at his school to see. Five little words that might just mean the world to someone who reads them.

"I will be your friend."

Ouch. My heart.

Rajahn shared the story on her business Facebook page:

"I have to brag on my son. I told him that as a back to school gift, I will make him any shirt he would like. It could have anything—a basketball theme, football, etc. which are all his favorites. He thought a while and said, 'will you please make me a shirt that says "I will be your friend" for all the kids who need a friend to know that I am here for them?' Never underestimate your kid's heart for others! I love my sweet Blake! #stopbullying"







Apparently, such a gesture is typical of Blake. "He has always had a heart for others and is very genuine," his mother told Upworthy. She said she's donating part of the proceeds of her t-shirt sales to the Real Life Center, a non-profit that helps families in need in Tyrone, Georgia, all because of Blake.

"During the summer we had a vacation Bible school that he went to," she said, "and they did a toothbrush and toothpaste drive for the Real Life Center. He came home saying we needed to go to the Dollar Store to get some that night. We told him we would go the next day, but he had to use his money for it. He said that was fine, so we asked how much he would like to spend. He said, 'It's for people who don't have any, right?' We said yes, so he very matter-of-fact said, 'Well all of it!' And he did!"

Rajahn said everyone has been very encouraging and people are starting to order their own version of the t-shirt with "#blakesfriends" added to it.

She also shared Blake's reaction to hearing that his shirt idea was starting to spread on Facebook—and again, it's just the sweetest darn thing.

"Ever since I posted about my son and his shirt, I have sold some and told Blake about it. He said, "Oh good! Now more and more people are going to have more and more friends!" He is just so flattered so many want to be his twin too 😊"

Sometimes all a person needs is one friend so they won't feel alone, and Blake going out of his way to make sure kids feel welcomed by him is an example even adults can learn from. If we all reached out to people who might be shy or who might feel excluded, and let them know in some small way that we are open to being friends, what a better world we could build.

Thank you, Blake, for bringing some much-needed sunshine into our day.


This article originally appeared on 8.2.19

bullying
Science

The 2021 World Nature Photography Award winners were announced and the pictures are stunning

Here are 13 of the best shots.

Tom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

The World Nature Photography Awards announced the winners of its 2021 photo contest and Amos Nachoum from the United States won the top cash prize award of $1,000 for his image of a leopard seal about to capture a defenseless gentoo penguin.

Getting the photo was no easy task. Nachoum had to wait for hours on the remote island of Plano, off the Antarctic Peninsula, for the right moment at low tide when the seals entered a lagoon to catch their prey.

Unfortunately, the photo is one of the last moments of the young penguin’s life. “The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came,” Nachoum said in a statement.

Other winners include a remarkable shot of a humpback whale just outside New York City, a majestic photo of an orangutan in a river and an arctic fox braving the frozen tundra in Iceland.

The photographs are a wonderful example of the dedication and care taken by nature photographers, but they’re also a reminder of our duty to care for the environment.

“The World Nature Photography Awards were founded in the belief that we can all make small efforts to shape the future of our planet in a positive way and that photography can influence people to see the world from a different perspective and change their own habits for the good of the planet. 2021’s competition saw entries come in from 20 countries across 6 continents,” the World Nature Photography Awards said in a press release.

Here are all 13 of the photographers who won gold in the 2021 contest.

World Nature Photographer of the Year and Gold Winner in "Behavior - Mammals" — Amos Nachoum, USA

Amos Nachoum/World Nature Photography Awards

"For hours, I waited for the low tide to arrive along a shallow lagoon on a remote island off the Antarctic Peninsula. Like clockwork, the leopard seal arrived in the lagoon just before low tide. It put its head in the water and looked just like a rock sitting in the receding water. The young Gentoo penguins only dare to enter the water when it is shallow and when they got close enough to the seal, it turned its head at lightning speed, catching one of the penguins by its feet and taking it to deep water. Once the seal reached open water, I followed it and swam parallel to it, observing its actions. To my surprise, it let go of the penguin twice. Each time, the seal chased after the penguin again, as if it was enjoying the game. The terrified penguin tried to escape as the game continued. But soon, the end came."

Gold Winner in "Animal Portraits" — Tom Vierus, Fiji

Tom Vierus/World Nature Photography Awards

"Long-tailed macaques enjoy the warmth of each other during a hot day in Bali, Indonesia. These animals show very similar behaviour to us humans including enjoying each other trusting company. The macaques are used to humans and are commonly found around temples where they tend to feed on food sacrifices by the locals."

Gold Winner in "Behavior - Amphibians and Reptiles" — Shayne Kaye, Canada

Shayne Kaye/World Nature Photography Awards

"This shot came out of a 'nothing' outing to a local park. It was the middle of a sunny summer day with harsh light and little activity. After going out with low expectations, I came across this tiny Pacific Tree Frog on a flower. After waiting for it to move into a more photogenic position on the flower, and trying repeatedly to catch the mottled light through the tree’s leaves above it at exactly the right spot, I got exactly what I was hoping for. It proved to me that there’s really no bad time to head into nature with a camera!"

Gold Winner in "Behavior - Birds" — Ashok Behera, India

via Ashok Behera/World Nature Photography Awards

"A wildebeest’s eyes being gorged by an African vulture, keenly watched by an African fox for an opportunity to scavenge. Taken at Masai Mara, Kenya."

Gold Winner in "Behavior - Invertebrates" — Chin Leong Teo, Singapore

via Chin Leong Teo/World Nature Photography Awards

"The common red ant is ingenious at traversing terrain. When front scout ants encounter a water obstacle, they intuitively form an "ant-bridge" with their bodies, so that their ant-mates at the back of the party can cross."

Gold Winner in "Nature Art" — Federico Testi, Italy

Federico Testi/World Nature Photography Awards

"The natural creativity of San Quirico d'orcia, in Tuscany, Italy. Waves, shapes and tone created by light, in harmony with the universe."

Gold Winner in "People and Nature" — Sabrina Inderbitzi, Switzerland

Sabrina Inderbitzi/World Nature Photography Awards

"I crawled into this ice cave on the totally frozen Lake Baikal in Russia. First I didn't like the fact that the car and the people were in the middle of my picture, but then on a second view I found it just perfect."

Gold Winner in "Plants and Fungi" — Gautam Kamat Bambolkar, India

Gautam Kamat Bambolkar/World Nature Photography Awards

"Entrance to a room inside an abandoned house in Goa, India. It is fascinating how mother nature takes over from where man has left."

Gold Winner in "Urban Wildlife" — Matthijs Noome, USA

Matthijs Noome/World Nature Photography Awards

"Finally got the shot I wanted: a humpback's fluke with the New York City downtown skyline in the distance. As water quality measures and conservation efforts have started to show real results over the last years, humpback whales are becoming a common sight more and more in New York waters."

Gold Winner in "Planet Earth's Landscapes and Environments" — Sam Wilson, Australia

Sam Wilson/World Nature Photography Awards

"Travelling down random dirt roads can be so rewarding when you are greeted with scenes like this. Taken on South Island, New Zealand."

Gold Winner in "Black and White" — Vince Burton, United Kingdom

Vince Burton/World Nature Photography Awards

"A recent trip to Iceland where we were lucky to view and photograph the rare 'blue morph' Arctic fox. The weather conditions were extreme, but that didn't seem to bother the fox."

Gold Winner in "Animals in Their Habitat" — Thomas Vijayan, Canada

Thomas Vijayan/World Nature Photography Awards

"Mature male orangutans have large flappy cheek-pads, known as flanges, a throat sac used to make loud verbalisations called long calls. Once they reach maturity, they spend most of their time alone, about 90%. I was lucky enough to get this fully-grown, matured orangutan giving me the best pose possible."

Gold Winner in "Nature Photojournalism" — Alain Schroeder, Belgium

Alain Schroeder/World Nature Photography Awards

"Sibolangit, SOCP Quarantine Centre, North Sumatra, Indonesia. The whole SOCP team works together to prepare Brenda, an estimated 3-month-old female orangutan (she has no teeth yet), for surgery. A sedative is administered, the arm is shaved, her temperature is taken, while others hold her head or her hand out of compassion for the baby. During the three-hour procedure, Dr. Andreas Messikommer, a renowned orthopaedic surgeon invited from Switzerland, will place a pin and screws to secure the damaged humerus. Brenda was confiscated from a villager in Blang Pidie on the west coast of Aceh who was keeping her as a pet."


This article originally appeared on 3.14.22

From Your Site Articles
nature photography
Parenting

Man asks how to help his wife who works full-time with a baby at home and keeps getting the same answer

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

Photo by Katie Emslie on Unsplash

There are times in parenting where you just feel kind of useless.

You can't carry the baby, take a late-night breastfeeding shift, or absorb any of the pain and discomfort of childbirth.

Sometimes the best you can do is to try to take care of your partner.

That's what brought user u/DietyBeta to the AskParents subreddit with a well-meaning question.

"My wife watches our 1yo, works, and is 12 week pregnant. How can I make her daily life easier while I'm away at work?"

He says that when he gets home from work, he takes over all parenting and homemaking duties.

But yeesh! That's still... a lot to handle. No wonder his wife is stressed out.

A few folks chimed in to pat the OP on the back. After all, it's great to see a dad who realizes how much is falling on mom's shoulders and actively looking for ways to lighten the load!

Some helpful suggestions rolled in, like taking over meal prep and making her easy lunches to heat up, hiring cleaners, or paying someone to walk the dogs.

woman in black shirt lying on couch Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash


But then even more people came in to the comments asking the same question over and over: If mom is working, why isn't the 1-year-old in daycare?

u/young-mommy wrote: "Is the one year old in daycare? If not, I would start there. Working from home with a child gets harder and harder as they enter toddlerhood"

u/min2themax said: "It’s nice of you to be asking how to help her but she really is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop here. It sounds like she is literally always working or parenting. Sometimes both at the same time. Walking the dogs and making her lunches and prepping meals and doing laundry is all well and good but this is not at all sustainable."

u/alternative-box3260 said: "Have the one year old in daycare. I was in a similar situation and it’s impossible. I was able to breath after that, not before."

And u/sillychihuahua26 wrote: "She’s caring for your 1.year old while working? That’s a horrible plan. You guys need childcare like yesterday."

We have a legitimate childcare crisis in our country, and stories like this one really bring it to life.

Childcare in the United States isn't nearly accessible or affordable enough for most families. Period.

ChildCare Aware found that that average cost of childcare in 2022 was $10,853 per year, or roughly 10% of a median family income (in 2024, it's likely even more than that — yet the actual workers at childcare centers are somehow severely underpaid).

But even that eye-popping number is conservative. Anyone who lives anywhere close to a city (or in California or New York) knows the number will be way higher. It's just not feasible for most families to put their child, let alone multiple children, in full-time care while they're young.

And yet! The percentage of households with two parents working full-time has been rising for decades. Life is more expensive than ever, and the extra income from two working parents really helps, even if it's offset by those child care costs.

More and more families are trying to scrape by — by trying to do it all

woman in white shirt sitting on brown wooden armchair Photo by Keren Fedida on Unsplash

Now we don't know whether the OP's family can afford childcare for their 1-year-old or not, although in a later update to the post he wrote:

"As far as daycare, she doesn't want to because she feels like she would be missing out on the time"

So even if you can afford childcare, there's the still the crushing guilt of shipping your child off to be raised by strangers to deal with! Classic.

(Take one guess who shoulders most of the daycare guilt — dads or moms?)

The work-from-home revolution has been a Godsend for parents in certain ways — flexibility, balance, less commuting time — but its also saddled many of them with double duty.

'Hey how about you work full-time because we need the money AND keep an eye on the kids, since you're home anyway!'

But it doesn't work like that, and trying to do both is crushing modern parents.

In fact, the Surgeon General of the United States just put out an official advisory based on the plummeting mental state of today's parents.

We know parents are having a hard time and that it's getting picked up in the national conversation. But hearing about a mom working full-time with a 1-year-old on her hip while pregnant, and a dad stuck working out of the house who's at a total loss for how to make things better really paints a pretty bleak picture.

No one should have to work full-time and parent full-time, at the same time.

A fridge full of microwavable lunches and a fleet of dog walkers isn't going to make it any better until things start changing from the very top.

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Joy

Man attempts to rescue stray kitten and quickly discovers he got more than he bargained for

Here kitty, kitty! Oh wait, there are 12 more of you?

Photo by Dorothea OLDANI on Unsplash

It's kitten season!

Who can resist a sweet little kitten trying to cross the road? Even if you’re not a fan of cats, you’d likely stop for a baby animal in the street. That’s what happened to Robert Brantley of Louisiana. Brantley was on his way to work and spotted a tiny white and gray kitten trying to get across the street. Being a kind human, he stopped his car to bring the kitten to safety. But he got more than he bargained for, because as he was scooping up the little thing, several more kitty cat siblings came running out of the nearby grass.

In all, Brantley counted 13 kittens. Twelve more than he planned on caring for, but by the looks of his Instagram page, his family has taken their role of cat rescuers seriously. With kitten season being in full effect in these warmer months and pet surrenders remaining high since the return to work from the pandemic, Brantley taking on fostering 13 kittens is much needed. Humane societies across the country are reportedly full or even over capacity. My own local humane society currently has nearly 150 animals over its limit and is begging for foster families and adopters to help clear the shelter.

It’s not only humane societies that have reached or exceeded capacity. Animal rescues across the board are in dire need of people to take animals to make room for the inevitable drop off of puppies and kittens from the current litter season. Mating season, which subsequently turns into puppy and kitten season, starts in early spring and lasts throughout the summer. This inundates local shelters and rescues.

Some shelters, like my local humane society, are asking people who find litters of puppies or kittens to do exactly what Brantley is doing.

Foster them and attempt to adopt them out on their own. It looks like Brantley's wife decided to get these now cleaned up kitties in their Sunday best to have a photoshoot in her makeshift studio. One kitten sported a bow tie while the others climbed around the enclosure patiently awaiting their turn. It also seems Brantley himself is having fun with the situation—in one video he talks about what he packs to go on a marksmanship match and includes 13 kittens along with his tripod and toolkit.

In one of Brantley’s most recent updates, he says that two of the kittens, Michael Scott and Nala, have been adopted by a family in Alexandria, Louisiana. In the same update he informs his followers that one of the kittens still left to be adopted is currently on daily medication and the family is keeping up with check-ups for the rest of the furry crew.

Here’s hoping that all of these little guys get adopted out soon. And may more people take Brantley’s lead to foster the kittens or puppies they find if they have the means. This can also serve as a reminder to spay and neuter your pets and any strays you may be caring for outside of your home.


This article originally appeared on 6.16.22

From Your Site Articles
cat rescue
Family

Experts plead with parents to stop cracking eggs on their toddlers' heads. No, really.

Kids' emotional reactions shouldn't be used as viral fodder.

ponce_photography/Canva

The "egg crack challenge" on TikTok is more harmful than it is funny.

There are plenty of viral videos involving children that are perfectly harmless. Kids are naturally hilarious, and it's not unusual for parents to capture their wee ones saying or doing something adorably funny.

At Upworthy, we often share cute viral kid videos, like the Italian preschooler who gesticulates like an old Sicilian grampa or the 4-year-old snowboarder in a dinosaur suit or the 3-year-old with incredible moves dancing alongside choreographed dancers. These are kiddos just doing what they do—genuine, wholesome kid moments caught on video.

Sometimes we share viral kid videos that are clearly set up, often with some kind of a positive parenting lesson included. But such videos are a far cry from a viral TikTok trend that involves parents cracking eggs on their children's heads and recording their reactions.

The "egg crack challenge" involves parents cooking with their little ones—almost always a fun activity for kids—but when it comes time to break open an egg, the parent unexpectedly cracks it on the child's head instead of the side of the bowl.

The child's stunned/confused/nervous reactions sometimes result in crying, sometimes laughter, and the unpredictable nature of it is what seems to be entertaining people.

But it's not a harmless "prank"—not when it's done to a small child who doesn't understand what's happening.

I'm not going to share any of the videos here because the whole point is to rack up views and I don't want to contribute to the problem. But let's look at this trend from the perspective of a little kid for a moment. You're just learning about the world, and realizing it can be a scary and unpredictable place sometimes. Your place of safety and security is your home with your parents who provide safety and protection. You're not sure what you can rely on out there, but your parents are your source of stability and security.

You've observed your parents cooking, so you kind of know what to expect. You use a cup to measure. You use a spoon to stir. You crack and open eggs before they go into the bowl.

You've never seen someone crack an egg on someone's head. You've been taught that hitting someone, especially on the head, with or without an object is wrong. How do you make sense of your parent suddenly turning and hitting you on the head with an egg in the middle of cooking?

Children don't process things the way adults do, but even most adults would immediately be like "WTF?!" if someone suddenly used their head for an egg-cracking surface. For a young child, it's not just a WTF moment—it's a message: "The thing I thought was predictable actually isn't. The person I thought was reliable actually isn't. The rules I was taught don't always apply."

It's foundational-level confusing and could potentially mess with a child's sense of trust. All for some internet likes.

Dan Wuori, Ph.D., Senior Director of Early Learning at the Hunt Institute, shared some thoughts on this and other potentially damaging parent "challenges," such as inviting a kindergartener to meet their teacher virtually and having a scary-looking person on the screen.

"The years of early childhood are a time during which trust and attachment are (ideally) formed," Wuori wrote on X (formerly known as Twitter). "With love, attention, and responsive caregiving, young children learn that their world is safe. They develop self-worth and self-esteem. These are prerequisites to both learning and healthy development. But the key to developing trust is consistency."

"And the behaviors in these videos—even if rare and anomalous—serve only to undermine healthy attachment between parent and child," he added. "They provide children with data points that suggest their parents can be unexpectedly and arbitrarily cruel. They are a violation of hard-earned trust.

"Some will argue that these are just jokes in good fun. They aren’t. They are the deliberate infliction of trauma, however brief, for the amusement of strangers. It should go without saying that this isn’t good for children."

Pediatric occupational therapist Amanda Mathers shared a TikTok of her own explaining why the trend isn't a good idea from a child development standpoint.

"You are teaching them that hitting someone in the head, hard, with an object, is acceptable and funny," she said.

@yourpediatricot

I know as parents you never want to harm your child. This post is meant to educate, for wny parwnts who were wanting to try this, or tor parents who already did this rrend and fan go back wnd have a conversation with their child about what happened. ••• Toddlers brains at this age don’t yet fully comprehend jokes like this and although they may laugh… their brain is thinking “WHAT THE HECK?!” ••• Skip this trend parents, it’ll save you in the long run 🤍 #eggcrackchallenge #eggcrackprank #eggcrackreaction #emotionalintelligence #raisingconfidentchildren #raisingkids #donttrythisathome #pediatricot

She even went so far as to call it bullying, which is a solid point when you consider that some of these videos include children crying in embarrassment, pain or confusion and their parent laughing in their faces. Some might think they're teaching kids about joking around and being silly, but this isn't a healthy way to teach that. It's cruel.

Parents in these videos may not realize how the thing they see as fun might be harmful, which is why it's good to try to see it from a child's perspective.

But a good rule to follow in general is not to purposefully create an emotional reaction in a child as a way to go viral on social media. Stick to capturing kids just being their normal, adorable, hilarious selves—there's plenty of entertainment in that.


This article originally appeared on 8.22.23

From Your Site Articles
child development
Trending Stories