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Joy

Adorable 'Haka baby' dance offers a sweet window into Maori culture

Stop what you're doing and let this awesomeness wash over you.

Baby dancing and smiling
@focuswithdan/TikTok

A young Māori performing his haka dance.

If you've never seen a Māori haka performed, you're missing out.

The Māori are the indigenous peoples of New Zealand, and their language and customs are an integral part of the island nation. One of the most recognizable Māori traditions outside of New Zealand is the haka, a ceremonial dance or challenge usually performed in a group. The haka represents the pride, strength, and unity of a tribe and is characterized by foot-stamping, body slapping, tongue protrusions, and rhythmic chanting.

Haka is performed at weddings as a sign of reverence and respect for the bride and groom, at funerals, at other significant events, and are also frequently seen before sports competitions, such as rugby matches.

The intensity of the haka is the point. It is meant to be a show of strength and elicit a strong response—which makes seeing a tiny toddler learning to do it all the more adorable.

Here's an example of a rugby haka:

Danny Heke, who goes by @focuswithdan on TikTok, shared a video of a baby learning haka and omigosh it is seriously the most adorable thing. When you see most haka, the dancers aren't smiling—their faces are fierce—so this wee one starting off with an infectious grin is just too much. You can see that he's already getting the moves down, facial expressions and all, though.

@focuswithdan When you grow up learning haka! #haka #teachthemyoung #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou #kapahaka ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

As cute as this video is, it's part of a larger effort by Heke to use his TikTok channel to share and promote Māori culture. His videos cover everything from the Te Reo Māori language to traditional practices to issues of prejudice Māori people face.

Here he briefly goes over the different body parts that make up haka:

@focuswithdan

♬ Ngati - Just2maori

This video explains the purerehua, or bullroarer, which is a Maori instrument that is sometimes used to call rains during a drought.

@focuswithdan Reply to @illumi.is.naughty Some tribes used this to call the rains during drought 🌧 ⛈ #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp ♬ Pūrerehua - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

This one shares a demonstration and explanation of the taiaha, a traditional Māori weapon.

@focuswithdan Reply to @shauncalvert Taiaha, one of the most formidable of the Māori Weaponry #taiaha #maori #māori #focuswithdan #fyp #foryou ♬ original sound - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

For another taste of haka, check out this video from a school graduation:

@focuswithdan When your little cuzzy graduates and her school honours her with a haka #maori #māori #haka #focuswithdan #fyp #graduation @its_keshamarley ♬ Te Kura Kaupapa Māori o Ngāti Ruanui - 𝕱𝖔𝖈𝖚𝖘𝖂𝖎𝖙𝖍𝕯𝖆𝖓

Heke even has some fun with the trolls and racists in the comments who try to tell him his culture is dead (what?).

@focuswithdan Credit to you all my AMAZING FOLLOWERS! #focuswithdan #maori #māori #followers #fyp #trolls ♬ original sound - sounds for slomo_bro!

Unfortunately, it's not just ignorant commenters who spew racist bile. A radio interview clip that aired recently called Māori people "genetically predisposed to crime, alcohol, and underperformance," among other terrible things. (The host, a former mayor of Auckland, has been let go for going along with and contributing to the caller's racist narrative.)

@focuswithdan #newzealand radio in 2021 delivering racist commentaries 🤦🏽‍♂️ #māori #maori #focuswithdan #racism DC: @call.me.lettie2.0 ♬ original sound - luna the unicow

That clip highlights why what Heke is sharing is so important. The whole world is enriched when Indigenous people like the Māori have their voices heard and their culture celebrated. The more we learn from each other and our diverse ways of life, the more enjoyable life on Earth will be and the better we'll get at collaborating to confront the challenges we all share.


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Pets

Four guys asked their new neighbor if they could walk her dog. Then the dog wrote back.

"If you ever get bored, we are more than happy to look after him/her."

via Stevieticks / Instagram

A black dog and a note form "the boys from number 23."

If you've lived your whole life with a dog, a home has to feel pretty empty without one. Your heart has to feel like there's something missing as well. When Jack McCrossan, originally from Scotland, moved to Bristol, England with his three friends, they were bummed out to learn that their landlord didn't allow dogs.

So when they saw a beautiful black Sheprador (a German Sheppard Lab mix) in their neighbor's window, they knew that had to become buddies with her. They wrote the dog's owner, Sarah Tolman, a letter asking to arrange a play date with the dog. "If you ever need someone to walk him/her, we will gladly do so," they wrote.

"If you ever get bored (we know you never will, but we can dream), we are more than happy to look after him/her. If you want to come over and bring him/her to brighten our day, you are more than welcome. If you want to walk past our balcony windows so we can see him/her, please do," the letter continued.


"We hope this doesn't come too strong, but our landlord won't allow pets, and we've all grown up with animals. The adult life is a struggle without one," they wrote. "Yours sincerely, The boys from number 23," the letter concluded.

Soon after, the boys in 23 received a response from the dog herself, Stevie Ticks, accepting the offer. However, it may have been written by her human, Sarah Tolman. In the letter, Stevie shares a bit about herself, saying she's two years and four months old, was adopted in Cyprus, and that she's "very friendly and full of beans." (The boys shouldn't worry about a gassy hound, in England, "full of beans" means lively.)


"I love meeting new people and it would be great if we can be friends. I must warn you that the price of my friendship is 5 x ball throws a day and belly scratches whenever I demand them," the letter continued. A few days later, the boys got to meet Stevie. "Meeting Stevie was great!" McCrossan told Buzzfeed. "She was definitely as energetic as described. We got to take her for a walk and she wouldn't stop running!"

black labrador, dogs, dog-walkers, kind nieghbors, stevieticks, bristol, ukA black labrador (representative image).via Canva/Photos

Tolman thought the boys' letter was a fantastic gesture in an era where, quote often, neighbors are strangers. "In a day and age where people don't really know or speak to their neighbors, it was really nice for them to break down that barrier," she said. After the story went viral, she saw it as an opportunity for people to share their love of dogs with the world. "My mother and I are amazed at all the love we've received from around the world these past few days," Tolman wrote as Stevie. "If you have a doggo in your life, share that love with those around you."

A lot has changed in the past 6 years since this story warmed hearts around the globe. The boys have since moved away, but as of September 2024, Stevie is around 8 years old and still doing well. Her keeper and Sarah's partner, Chris Bowley, shared an update on Instagram. "[The boys] sadly moved out of Bristol. However, we have always tried to keep the ethos going of Stevie having as many friends and meetups as possible," Bowley wrote.


This article originally appeared six years ago.

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dogs
Pets

Touching video shows blind senior dog being spoiled for 28 days before being put to sleep

He had only just gotten adopted.

Photo credit: Canva

Pet grief is real.

A TikTok video by Kate Schakols has been seen over 100 million times because it is a touching example of empathy and human kindness. It also shows that a dog who’s lived a life of hardship can find joy and peace when given a loving home.

Schakols and her family fell in love with Rooster, a dog that was estimated to be between 10 to 12 years old, at the Gulf Coast STARS rescue in 2020 and adopted him. Rooster was blind in one eye, had benign lumps and most of his elbow pads and teeth were worn down from digging in concrete for food. "The bond I had with Rooster was unreal," she told People. "I'd never felt that specific type of connection before, and it was obvious to everyone that he had chosen me to be his person."

Sadly, after 28 days, Rooster developed dog bloat and had to be humanely euthanized. Even though their time together was far too short, Schakols was happy to have comforted Rooster in his final days.

pet grief, losing a pet, pet memorial, humane euthanasia, rescue dog"I think I love my mom the most."www.tiktok.com


She told their brief but touching story in a slideshow video (below) from Rooster’s perspective. Rooster is seen rolling in the grass, playing with new siblings, enjoying a car ride, while heartbreakingly sweet messages about "mom" appear onscreen.

"I think I love my mom the most. I hope she knows. She’s love me more than anyone ever has," one reads.

Another says, “She doesn't seem to care that I can’t see very well, that I have missing fur and teeth, and I’m old and lumpy,…She says I’m beautiful every day.”

Then on Rooster's final day, we read “I think it’s time to go. I hope my mom will be okay. I can hear her crying and begging someone named God not to take me.”

pet grief, losing a pet, pet memorial, humane euthanasia, rescue dog“I think it’s time to go. I hope my mom will be okay."www.tiktok.com

By telling the story from Rooster’s point of view, Schakols shows the incredible empathy and understanding she shared with the dog. It also gives people who may not be considering adopting a senior dog, an idea of what it means for an older dog to live in comfort in their final days.

"There’s so many stories of dogs being adopted but passing soon after and I think they finally felt peace and comfort and safe to let themselves go," one person wrote in the comments. "It’s like he held on until he could feel love and joy. When he did he was finally at peace and able to cross the rainbow bridge," another added.

Losing a pet can evoke profound grief, often comparable to the loss of a family member, and it's important to acknowledge and process these emotions. and that's exactly what Schakols continues to advocate for on social media.

@ksam325 #goldenretriever #tripoddog #cancer #bestfriend ♬ original sound - sof

“All I ever want from my page is to encourage people to understand that pet loss is valid and a very real type of disenfranchised grief."

A powerful way to process some of these tough emotions, as Schakols has demonstrated, is to memorialize your fur baby in some way. Be that through a video, making a donation in their name, creating a photo collage. It can be as extensive or minimal as you see fit.

pet grief, losing a pet, pet memorial, humane euthanasia, rescue dogThat way a piece of them stays with you forever. Photo credit: Canva

It doesn't take away the pain, per se, but it does make it easier to move through.

This article originally appeared last year

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dogs
Motherhood

People are in disbelief learning how many moms literally daydream about being hospitalized

It's a real phenomenon.

Canva, @emilykmay/X

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Humor

Millennials are revealing their 'retirement plans' with perfectly dark humor

They're known for their self-deprecating humor and didn't disappoint.

Photo credit: Canva

Millennials. We're house poor, but humor rich.

If there’s one thing millennials are known for, it’s their self deprecating, nihilistic humor. Usually pointing to how they weren’t exactly set up for success in life, especially when it comes to being able to afford a home, pay off student loan debt, or even get a job in the field they racked up debt for in the first place.

Basically, add three parts depression and anxiety, then top it off with obscure Disney references, and you’ve got the formula down pat. So it’s no wonder that when someone online asked millennials what their “plans” were for retirement, they went dark, and fast.

Below are some of our favorites:

Obviously, there were a few jabs about never being able to retire in the first place.

millennials, retirement for millennials, 401K, roth IRA, savings plans for millennialsMake sure you've accrued enough PTO for that funeral! Photo credit: Canva

“I'm hoping to get off work in time to attend my funeral”

“Literally my retirement age will probably be 10 years after I die. My body will be used to prop open a door by the government”

“Die at my job… Ill keel over mopping one day and that will be that. My job will be filled by that afternoon.”

“I did some financial planning and determined I can retire by the time I am 97 and can live for 11 minutes on my savings.”

A few came up with some…er…creative ways to live out their golden years.

“Maybe federal prison?”

millennials, retirement for millennials, 401K, roth IRA, savings plans for millennialsI mean, threes square meals a day…Photo credit: Canva

“Gonna listen to some Portishead while I have a sand shower at the indentured service prison camp while I daydream about increased water rations.”

“I figure there are at least three big economic busts between now and then, so I’m planning to die in a nude beach bl*w j*b jet ski shootout.”

“Live longer than everyone else in the family, inherit their stuff, retire five minutes before I die.”

"Save a lot, die before retirement, will my retirement savings to my kids so they have a chance."

“Find a nice commune and go die in the woods like a house cat.”

“The cliff scene in Midsommar.”

Jumping Cliff GIFfrom Jumping GIFs

“Cats! Cats Cats Cats Cats Cats Cats Cats”

And then, there was perhaps the most millennial response of all:

“I try not to have dreams.”

And, arguably, this gallows humor is justified, considering that, compared to both older Gen Xers/Boomers and young Gen Zers, prospects don’t generally look as promising. There are many reasons for this, including shift away from pensions toward 401(k) plans and high student debt burdens.

Still, there are reasons for millennials to be optimistic. Many employers automatically offer a matching contribution to a 401K plan. Alternatively, those without 401 K plans can set aside funds through an IRA (even $10-$20 a month can make a difference).

In fact, one savvy millennial in the above thread seems to have that strategy down:

“Maxing out my Roth IRA, nearly maxing my company's traditional 401k. Should be all good by 60 then I can do whatever I want. SS would be a nice bonus, but I'm not counting on it.”

millennials, retirement for millennials, 401K, roth IRA, savings plans for millennialsSaving, like any other skill, can be learned. Photo credit: Canva

There’s also something to be said about gaining extra income with a side hustle…though you’d be hard pressed to meet a millennial without 17 of those.

Bottom line: millennials can joke all we want, but 20-30 years can go by in the blink of an eye. We might not be equipped with the tools we thought we’d receive to succeed, and yes, times are scary and uncertain, but there are options out there. So throw on a nostalgic cartoon, and get to saving.

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Love Stories

Wife throws husband epic surprise 45th birthday party at Costco

"I threw my Costco-loving husband a surprise party for his birthday!"

itsdanapollack/Instagram

Wife Dana Pollack threw her husband a surprise 45th birthday party at Costco.

Pulling off a surprise birthday party is a feat that not many can say they've done. But Dana Pollack (@itsdanapollack), owner of Dana's Bakery, definitely can. The mom of two pulled of an incredible birthday surprise for her husband Adam's 45th birthday at their local Costco.

She shared the epic surprise with her followers in a video on Instagram, and it was a success; Adam was totally surprised. ""I threw my Costco-loving husband a surprise party for his birthday!" she wrote in the video's caption.

"He's straight to business," she writes as the video begins with their family walking into Costco and Adam getting his game face on for their shopping trip. "Sumo oranges first, obviously," she writes in the video as they run into the first (of what will be many) friends during the excursion.

"First run in. He has no idea (yet)," she writes in the video as her husband recognizes one of his guy friends and daps him up. Dana plays it off, also exchanging general pleasantries. Soon, they run into another pal. "Second run in. He's catching on but not 100% sure...," she writes in the video as her husband says hello to another one of his friends and his wife. Adam looks at the camera and shakes his head, acknowledging how crazy it was that they saw another friend during their outing.

Meanwhile, the family continues to shop and add items to the cart as they make their way through the store. But by the third friend run-in, she writes, "The gig is up. He's onto us." The camera shows a fourth meeting, then a fifth. Clearly, it's no coincidence at all.

From there, the gang heads towards the picnic tables at the food court, and the video pans to the party's catering: Costco's cheese pizza and hot dogs, of course. "A+ catering," she writes in the video. In the comment section, Dana added that the crew ate 3 pizzas and 10 Costco chocolate chip cookies. It truly was a birthday feast of feasts.

No birthday celebration is complete without a cake, though, and Dana came prepared with a chocolate one with '45' candles. Everyone sings happy birthday to him, and once he blows out the candles, a huge applause goes up. Other patrons in the food court and walking out of Costco cheer for Adam and get in on the celebratory vibes.

Finally, the group poses for a photo at the end of the video. "Success," Dana writes. In all, 23 people came out to celebrate Adam—and her sure felt the love.

The epic Costco surprise birthday party got lots of love from Dana's followers.

"This is the most parent coded event I have ever witnessed. Come for a party, leave with your weekend errands completed 😂😂 and bring the kids," one commented.

"Wife of the year and errands are done ✅ 😂😂😂😂," said another.

"The level of WHOLESOMENESS in this video is infinite. ❤️🙌🔥"

"Lmao this many friends with Costco memberships is insane tbh," still another says, making a great point. Then again, it isCostco, so are we all that surprised?

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