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The group turning religious leaders into LGBTQ rights crusaders in Kenya

The group turning religious leaders into LGBTQ rights crusaders in Kenya

This piece was first published on Reasons to Be Cheerful and is part of the SoJo Exchange from the Solutions Journalism Network, a nonprofit organization dedicated to rigorous reporting about responses to social problems.


Penda* did not feel worthy of a seat at the table with the 15 religious leaders she found herself nervously sitting across from, seven of them Christian, eight of them Muslim.

"Before I attended that forum, I knew that I was a sinner," she recalls. "I didn't think it was possible for me to go near a church. I didn't even think that I could have a conversation with a religious leader."

Yet in 2014, Penda, a masculine-presenting lesbian, found herself in conversation with these faith leaders, all of whom believed — and in many cases preached — that homosexuality is evil. But this was no ordinary conversation. At Penda's side were three other people: a Kenyan gay man, a sex worker and someone living with HIV. None of the faith leaders knew these details. That information was held back — until just the right moment presented itself.

The forum was part of a strategic faith engagement session organized by Persons Marginalized and Aggrieved in Kenya (PEMA Kenya), a sexual and gender minority group in the coastal city of Mombasa. In Kenya, where the LGBTQ community is a frequent target of conservative religious leaders, who preach discrimination and sometimes even violence against them, PEMA Kenya takes an unusual approach: it works to "convert" faith leaders to the gay rights cause by introducing them to LGBTQ people, face to face, to build empathy, compassion and understanding.


The carefully orchestrated encounters require the utmost care — for all involved. "We don't aim to 'sensitize' religious leaders," says Lydia Atemba, a member of the faith engagement team. "We also prepare and equip our community to participate in dialogue with them. We try to bridge the gap on both sides."

The most unlikely allies

The five-day event attended by Penda and the 15 religious leaders was ostensibly to discuss barriers to health care faced by marginalized people who have HIV. For the first three days of the forum, no explicit mention of homosexuality was uttered.

"We [then] brought other queer members into the sessions and they spoke with the religious leaders," says Pastor McOveh, a queer pastor who helps to facilitate the program. (He requested his first name not be used.)

Penda was one of them. Now 44, she calmly shared her experience as a lesbian living in Mombasa. She had moved there in 2010, leaving behind the ruins of Kitale, a cosmopolitan town in Kenya that was struggling to recover from the 2007 election crisis. She described to them how she was verbally abused, and how she had been forced to sever ties with her spirituality because of faith leaders preaching anti-gay violence and discrimination.

"I have had troubles reconciling my sexuality and faith," she told the group.

She says sharing her personal story was surprisingly effective. The faith leaders' beliefs weren't instantly transformed, but, she says, "I think I saw a lot of compassion in some of them."

She was right. One of the conservative religious leaders in attendance that day was Pastor John Kambo. A pastor at the Independent Pentecostal Church of Kenya, Kambo was well known for his public attacks on the LGBTQ community. He once declared that "the gender and sexual minorities, especially in worship places, are cursed sinners and will go to hell."

This wasn't Kambo's first PEMA session. The organization had been holding discussions with him for four years, gradually drawing him onto their side. "It was just follow-up meetings — continuous engagement overtime [to] change the way [he] sees things," recalls Ishmael Bahati, PEMA Kenya's executive director and co-founder. During this period, Kambo began reflecting on what the Bible says about love. According to transcripts from PEMA Kenya, he ultimately said that "continuous participation in these trainings opened my mind and I realized that we are all human beings." The meeting with Penda was his last as an outsider — afterwards, he joined PEMA Kenya as an active, dedicated member, and remained one until his death last month.

In the end, Kambo became an unlikely friend to the queer community. He underwent PEMA's Training of Trainers, which taught him how to carefully discuss LGBTQ concerns with his fellow faith leaders. But his conversion came at a price. He was excommunicated from the church for three years, and his marriage hit the skids. He continued to be an ally, however, and in 2018 he became the first religious leader to be nominated as a "Human Rights Defender" by the National Coalition of Human Rights Defenders — Kenya.

That same year, Kambo invited Pastor Benhadad Mutua Kithome to a PEMA discussion. "PEMA Kenya produced good notes, and they were helping us very much," Kithome says of that meeting. "Some pastors were not agreeing with them — they were just agreeing with what the scriptures say. The way Sodom and Gomorrah was. The way, because of homosexuality, people were punished. But because of this training, some pastors, especially me, came to understand."

Athumani Abdullah Mohammed, an Ustaz (Islamic teacher) whose view of queer people changed gradually after partaking in a PEMA session in 2018, had a similar experience.

"When I got a chance to engage, it was not easy because… I work with conservative organizations," he says. "The whole gospel I was hearing was against 'this people,' as they called them. I thank my brother Ishmael because he was so persistent. He brought me on board. The funny thing is, the first meeting we held was not a good meeting. I was so against everything they were saying, but he saw something in me which I couldn't see by myself. And he kept on engaging me. Now, I learned to listen and I opened myself to listen. I listen to what I want to hear — and what I don't want to hear."

Converting a culture

The coastal city of Mombasa is a conservative place. Religion is at its core, and local faith leaders wield outsized influence, often preaching violence against the queer community.

"Rhetoric vilifying LGBT people, much of it by religious leaders, is particularly pronounced on [Kenya's] coast, and shapes public perceptions," according to a Human Rights Watch report.

This was the environment into which PEMA Kenya launched in 2008. Started as a health and social wellbeing community for gay and bisexual men following the tragic death of a gay man in Mombasa — he became sick and was abandoned by his family — the group later expanded to accommodate other gender and sexual minority groups. Then, in 2010, a call to "flush out gays" by two major religious groups — the Council of Imams and Preachers of Kenya (CIPK) and the National Council of Churches of Kenya (NCCK) — led to a spate of attacks on queer people.

The violence became a catalyzing moment for PEMA Kenya. "We thought that it is a good time to have a dialogue with the religious leaders," recalls Bahati, "to see if we can have a lasting solution for the attacks."

The organization appears to be making progress toward that goal. Until five years ago, Bahati says, Ramadan, which concluded this month, was a particularly dangerous time for queer people in Kenya's coastal region. A U.S. government report supports this observation, concluding that "the highest incidences of violence in the Kenyan Coast, which has a largely Muslim population, are reported during Ramadan."

For this reason, organizations like PEMA used to focus on simply keeping LGBTQ people safe from harm during these weeks. "Most organizations were looking for funds to relocate people, to support people" during this period, says Bahati.

But this year's Ramadan has been different. Attacks on queer folks are down, Bahati reports. "Things have really changed." He believes PEMA's years of meticulous relationship building are beginning to bear fruit. To date, PEMA has trained 619 religious leaders, 246 of which are still active members in the network. These members are crucial to spreading the acceptance of queerness in their congregations and communities in Mombasa and across Kenya. They also facilitate events alongside queer pastors and Ustaz, and review the group's strategic faith engagement manual, Facing Our Fears.

According to Jide Macaulay, an openly gay British-Nigerian priest, the influence religious leaders hold over public perception makes them invaluable allies. In his experience, building radical queer institutions in a place like Mombasa just isn't effective. This is something he learned first-hand — in 2006, Macaulay founded House of Rainbow, the first queer church in Nigeria. It was considered an affront to the societal and religious norm, and met with hostility. It lasted only two years.

"My largest focus was on the [queer] community, not necessarily on the rest of the society," he says. "We didn't take time to educate the society. House of Rainbow would have benefitted if we had allies within the community. [It] would have benefitted if we started maybe as a support group rather than a full-blown church."

Now, like PEMA Kenya, House of Rainbow has evolved to make engagement with Christian and Islamic faith leaders the core of its mission, holding forums in Malawi, Zambia, the Democratic Republic of Congo, South Africa, Lesotho, Botswana, Zimbabwe and Ghana.

What the scriptures say

Bahati's expertise as an Islamic scholar comes in handy. For instance, he notes that the role of language is key to winning converts to an inclusive community.

During PEMA's strategic meetings, faith leaders are introduced, carefully and tactfully, to humanizing language. "You see, the word homosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer are not bad words," says Macaulay. "Society has made them scary." PEMA's facilitators explain appropriate usage, context and meanings, and the harmful implications of using such language as slurs.

"What we say is that language is not innocent," says McOveh, the gay pastor. "Most of the time we realize that faith leaders use language unknowingly."

Of course, simply teaching more sensitive language is only the first step. In the Bible and Quran, certain verses and stories are still used to justify homophobic slurs and attacks.

"You realize that scriptures have different interpretations," says McOveh, "so we try to find common ground to tell them that, see, there is this which is provided by the religion and this which is given as perception." Macaulay echoes this point. "Looking at the Bible, there's a history of bad theology, mistranslation, and that mistranslation has caused many churches not to understand that homosexuality is not a sin. Homosexuality is not like robbery or theft. Homosexuality is like being Black. Homosexuality is like being albino. There are things that you just cannot change…Homosexuality is not a crime and it should never be criminalized."

While groups like PEMA Kenya and House of Rainbow have battled systemic homophobia in society, their efforts are still "a drop of water in the ocean," says Macaulay.

Homosexuality remains illegal in Kenya. The Penal Code explicitly criminalizes it, and a conviction can carry a prison sentence of up to 14 years. Petitions filed in Nairobi and Mombasa high courts in 2019 to rule these laws unconstitutional were both dismissed this year. Appeals have been filed, but according to Michael Kioko, a lawyer and LGBTQ advocate, it would take a long time to get a ruling.

"We'll have to wait for years to see whether the court of appeal will declare those provisions unconstitutional, and they may not," he says.

32 out of 52 African countries criminalize same-sex relations, with punishment ranging from death to lengthy prison terms. In some ways, these laws lend legitimacy to perpetrators of homophobic violence and discrimination.

The pandemic has presented PEMA Kenya with yet another challenge. The delicate work of working with new religious leaders can be risky, and the discussions can only take place in a secure location, says Mohammed.

"You cannot talk to people about these things in their area," he says. "You need to be very particular when it comes to safety because it's a lot of voices which are talking against this and people are willing to kill." Holding discussions with participants in an undisclosed location is safer, but it requires funding which PEMA has spent on taking care of needy community members during the lockdown.

Still, the efforts of PEMA Kenya's faith leaders continue to foster a safer city for a lot of queer people in Mombasa — in the streets, in the churches and mosques, and in their own homes. "[Now] someone can walk for a kilometer without being attacked," says Penda with relief. "Those were things that were not very much happening back then."

*Name has been changed to protect the person's identity.


@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

Canva

Gen Z doesn't get their own humor.

When it comes to jokes, some generations love a very clear set-up-punch. "My wife is so lazy she… ba dum tss!"

For Gen Xers, "storytelling jokes" became more popular, made famous by the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Patton Oswalt, and David Cross. You were there for the hilarity peppered throughout a story, rather than the traditional short-form approach. Think Louis C.K., John Mulaney, or Kevin Hart.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But on the subreddit group r/outoftheloop, a blatant question was posed: "What is up with Gen Z humor?"

The question comes from a very earnest place. A 35-year-old Millennial woman simply wants to connect more with her 22-year-old Gen Z sister. The OP (@trainstationpoet) writes, "She is the best marshmallow squishy ray of light I’ve ever known. When I see her I just want to connect in every way possible to get that sibling good-good. She sends me some memes like this one and I genuinely do not understand ANY of them."

There is a link to Know Your Meme, which contains a picture of the following: a stick figure drawing of a smoking man with a hat entering through a door into a bunch of squiggles and capital "As." On top, it says "Are Ya Winning, Son? Don't forget to play The Last of Us too.." (I, too, am stumped.)

She then shares the same website with a piece entitled, "13 Reminders That Gen Z Kids Are Still The Future (Of Memes)" with different examples of what generations might find funny. Even the intro paragraph could be read as sarcastic, so wait—is THAT Gen Z humor?

For example, someone (and there doesn't seem to be a byline) writes, "There's nothing like a dose of good old generational stereotyping to distinguish between the different age groups. Boomers are the 'selfish and entitled ones' (depending on your age), whereas Millennials are the different, more self-aware brand of selfish and entitled (or self-loathing). As for Gen Z, they've got bigger fish to deep-fry than entering an argument about whether or not they're repeating the pattern."

They add, seemingly more sincerely, "The youngest generation is truly one of the strangest, because they laugh at their pain in a way that older generations haven't been able to. And there's something kind of endearing about that, in a messed-up sort of way. The cheerful pessimism and absurdist nature of Zoomer humor reminds us that even if everything won't be okay for the youth of today, at least they've gotten pretty good at making some truly detached and meaningless jokes online, as these examples remind us."

They then proceed to share memes to exemplify this premise. One, also sourced from Reddit, is titled "Le Gen Z has arrived." Underneath, it says "Boomer humor: Bad Wife, Millennial humor: Bad Life, Gen Z humor:" and it's merely a cartoon of a dog giving side-eye to a pink "beast version" of said dog who seems to be pawing a blue "beast version" of said dog and… oh never mind, I don't get it!

meme, side eye, gif, dog, gen z, humorSide Eye Dog Meme GIFGiphy

Back on the Reddit thread, the OP adds, "What I really don’t understand is the ‘why’ of the Gen Z humor. Boomer = low-hanging fruit that is 25% funny, 75% putting down other people. Millennial humor is self-deprecating jokes about wanting to be dead. Gen X humor is… idk, I never hear about them honestly. Then Gen Z humor (to me) is about taking acid, ending up on the astral plane and saying one to five words that vaguely represent the picture in the meme."

There are thousands of comments. One Redditor offers sound advice, which is essentially not to show fear. "Best advice to add: Don't say you don't get the meme. Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes. You just sound old if you say that. The memes go fast and don't stick for long, so if you don't get it, don't ask about it."

Another explains that trends change so quickly for Zoomers, they want to make it seem like they're always keeping up. "When people hear ‘meme’ they expect a joke generally. I don’t think that’s how Gen Z sees it. Being in the know is the important part for them. I’m reminded of fashion trends… in my personal opinion, many fashion trends are ridiculous, memes are now fashion trends, it’s not about funny it’s about popular."

memes, gifs, confusing meme, gen z humor, generational humorMeme Reaction GIF by TokkingheadsGiphy

Many add that the jokes are deeply layered and purposely confusing. And when one starts to go down the rabbit hole, it actually is pretty brilliant in all its absurdity.

Bottom line, everything about Gen Z's humor is perfectly summed up by this comment: "Apparently postmodernism includes post-postmodernism."

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

CBS News/Youtube & Michael Li/Flickr

JD Vance "fumbles" the coveted college football national championship trophy.

It's a tradition for sports teams that win major championships to receive the honor of visiting the White House and meeting the President. The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles will be visiting soon. The World Series winning Los Angeles Dodgers visited earlier this year. And just this week, the national champions Ohio State Buckeyes took the stage with President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, an Ohio State alum.

It was a simple photo opp. There would be no hard hitting questions from journalists about the economy or Russia. Everyone involved was there to simply celebrate the accomplishments of a talented and hard working group of young men in a controversy-free ceremony. What could possibly go wrong?

JD Vance had other plans. The moment he went to hoist the trophy, it appeared to quite literally fall apart in his hands.

Vance puzzled over the trophy for a moment as he tried to slide it toward himself. Then, as he began to lift it, the top half toppled over only to be caught by Ohio State running back TreVeyon Henderson before hitting the ground. You can actually hear the crowd gasping and holding their breath before Henderson saves it, all while the United States Marine Corps Band performs "We Are the Champions." You honestly couldn't script a more hilarious sequence if you hired Hollywood's funniest comedy writers.

To be fair, the college playoff national championship trophy is a little confusingly constructed. The bottom half is just a black stand for the trophy itself, which is the 26.5 inch tapered golden piece on top. So technically, Vance didn't break the trophy. He just didn't realize that it came apart in two pieces.

But it was too late. The blunder was caught by dozens and dozens of cameras, with the jokes about Vance "fumbling" the trophy nearly writing themselves.

Watch the wild video here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Vance, the Internet's favorite punching bag as of late, suddenly found himself on the butt end of an avalanche of jokes.

Vance is no stranger to being made fun of on the Web. First, it was the theories that he wears eyeliner while simultaneously preaching about the death of masculinity. Then, it was enterprising social media users engaging in a war of one-upmanship to see who could create the most horrifying, bloated caricature of the VP.

And now, he can add this fumblerooski to his resume.

In a thread posted on the subreddit WatchPeopleDieInside, people came with their best jokes at Vance's expense:

"Ahh I see it's because the trophy didn't wear a suit and say thank you"

"That man has never held a trophy in his life."

"They are going to blame the Democrats for this."

On X, one user wrote, "JD Vance: Can't order donuts. Can't hold a normal conversation. Can't hold a trophy without breaking it."

Honestly, jokes were barely necessary. The photos are hilarious enough. The top half of the trophy tumbling limply into Vance's shoulder. Vance bending down, scrambling to pick up the base. It's all just *chefs kiss.*


People on the right had some fun at the VP's expense, too.

"Trophy must be made in China," one Reddit user joked.

"Dan Quail on steroids," added another.

Fox News couldn't help themselves, either. They made more than a few puns about Vance "fumbling" the trophy.

Even Vance himself had no choice but to try to take the mockery in stride.

The Trump administration is off to a controversial start, to put it extremely lightly. JD Vance's trophy snafu harkens back to a simpler time when we all came together to make fun of George W. Bush not knowing how to pronounce words or Gerald Ford tumbling down the stairs of Air Force One. There isn't much that's able to bring people from different sides of the aisle together anymore, and this one is just a minor blip in the grander scheme. But this little reprieve in the news cycle has definitely been a much needed source of comic relief.

Kids

A daring boy invited classmates to his birthday party. One problem: there was no birthday party.

One mom knew the invite seemed fishy, but couldn't believe her eyes when they showed up.

Canva Photos

A mischievous boy created his own DIY birthday invitations.

We've all heard the sob stories about kids who invite the whole class to their birthday party, only for no one to show up. It's heartbreaking and horrific and all too common. But who's ever heard of a story where people showed up, but there was no birthday party?!

One mom is going viral for sharing a laugh-out-loud story of a young boy's ingenuity. It all started with an innocent-enough birthday invitation her own son brought home from school.

surprise, surprise party, birthday party, birthday, parenting, kidsWhen the parents don't even know about it, that's a successful surprise party.Giphy

The mom, who goes by Bree on TikTok, tells the tale in a now-viral clip. She says her son brought home a homemade (very homemade) birthday invitation from school. It read, in child's handwriting, "Your invited to my birthday, yay!" On the back, the chicken scratch read, "Come over and play soccer, play FIFA, do the trampoline..." and more.

Bree was suspicious of the invite from the get-go, but figured the boy's parents had just let him make his own. As an exhausted dad, I can definitely imagine a scenario where my wife and I just give up completely and let our youngest write whatever the heck she wants to and hand them out herself. So, although the handwritten invite was a little weird, it was easily explainable.

But then the strikes started adding up. Bree's son told her that they didn't have to RSVP and that the party was the very next day.

Bree, being a cool mom, decided to roll with it and show up anyway. And that's when things got hilarious.

“I turn the corner—not one balloon inside, not one table, not one chair inside, just [the boy's] dad and his three uncles. That's it. The dad looks at me, kind of surprised, and I was like, ‘Hi, we're here for the birthday party!’ And he just says, ‘Oh, okay, my wife's not home.’”

After waiting around for other people to show up to the party (unsuccessfully), Bree and her son noticed the boy taking a cake out of the fridge so everyone could dig in. At that point, Bree was pretty certain there was no party and they high-tailed it out of there.

Watch her tell the hysterical story here:


@breesquirrely

Talk about stressed 😂😂 #relatable #kids #mom #family #fypシ #trending

Viewers had a lot of theories and takes on the whole awkward debacle.

The video has been viewed almost 10 million times to date, with thousands reaching out in the comments to share their appreciation for the story. Some loved that Bree's son was such a good friend that he was willing to show up anywhere, anytime:

"At least you know your son is ready to rock for anyone. He doesn’t need decorations, cake, or even other guests ; that boy is ready to party."

"You're raising a good hearted young man. He didn't care for decor or anything he just wanted to show up for his friend."

@breesquirrely

Replying to @🌻 I highly doubt there was ever a birthday party 😂😂😂 ##update##part2##kids##relatable##fypシ##trending

Some said their own kids (or even themselves!) had pulled similar shenanigans in the past:

"My daughter did this, she made birthday invitations and passed them out to her classmates with my number noted. Had all the parents calling asking for address. There was no party."

"I'm 65 now...when I was in 1st grade I invited my entire class to come to my birthday party on Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning and told my Mom."

Others were concerned about the boy, wondering if he threw his own birthday party because no one else would. In replies to comments, Bree said that didn't seem to be the case. "I think it was a case of kids being kids and he forgot to tell his mama about the party he planned," she said.

Whatever the case, most commenters could agree that the boy in question wanted a play date with his friends and decided to take matters into his own hands to make it happen.

It's frustrating to be a kid and have so many things out of your control. When you're young, all your friendships are managed by your parents (for good reason) and while that keeps responsibility off your young shoulders, it's also challenging. Most of us remember being a kid and our best friend suddenly moving away with no warning! It's crushing and makes you feel helpless.

The boy who threw his own impromptu birthday party was practicing something called agency, which means the ability to make decisions about things that affect you and a belief that you have some power to control what happens to you. Agency is an important developmental milestone for kids and adults, and it's a key piece of our overall mental health. Some parents foster agency in their kids by printing up play date business cards that their children can hand out with a parent's phone number on them—seriously. The children may not arrange the play dates themselves but they can hand out cards to new friends they meet and have some control over their own social lives. Other parents encourage agency by asking their kids questions instead of telling them what to do, or practicing active listening techniques.

And then, of course, some kids take agency into their own hands with secret, hilarious plans that their parents know nothing about. If nothing else, this kid displayed an entrepreneurial spirit that will take him far one day.

For the parents out there, though, Bree warns to make sure birthday invitations are parent-approved before showing up anywhere. Unless you want to exercise your adventurous side, that is.