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Pop Culture

'God, what if I was 15?': Julia Roberts responds to being shamed in a photo with her niece

It opened her eyes to the toxicity of social media.

julia roberts, emma roberts, instagram
via U.S. Department of State/Wikimedia Commons and Dominick D/Wikimedia Commons

Julia Roberts and Emma Roberts

Actress Julia Roberts was late to the game when it came to joining social media, so she was blown away when she finally saw first-hand how toxic it could be. She started an Instagram account in June of 2018 and, shortly after, was the target of trolls mocking her appearance in a post by her niece.

Roberts was upset about the negative comments people made about her looks and then was gutted when she considered social media's effect on young women. In a 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey for Harper’s Bazaar, Julia recounted the story.

“Although something did happen recently on my niece Emma’s Instagram that I think taught me a lot about what it’s like being a young person in today’s society. One weekend morning Emma slept over, and we got up and were having tea and playing cards and having this beautiful morning, and then a couple of days later, she posted a picture of us,” Roberts recalled.



“And the number of people who felt absolutely required to talk about how terrible I looked in the picture—that I’m not aging well, that I look like a man, why would she even post a picture like this when I look that terrible!” she continued. “And I was amazed at how that made me feel. I’m a 50-year-old woman and I know who I am, and still my feelings got hurt. I was sad that people couldn’t see the point of it, the sweetness of it, the absolute shining joy of that photo. I thought, ‘What if I was 15?’”

Beauty influencer Samantha Marika combined the audio of Julia telling the story, added it to the candid photo of her and Emma, and posted it to Instagram, and it went viral.

Julia’s concerns about teenage mental health aren’t unfounded.

A 2022 report by Pew Research shows that online bullying is pervasive among teenagers and looks are a common target. “Nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online, with physical appearance being seen as a relatively common reason why,” the report said. “Older teen girls are especially likely to report being targeted by online abuse overall and because of their appearance.”

Even though online bullying is common, those who watched Marika’s video were disturbed by what happened to Roberts and her young niece.

“Before I listened to the whole thing I thought to myself how wholesome this photo was that the two of them are playing cards and look so happy! People are really sad and depressed that they wanna judge on how someone should look it’s the saddest thing about humans. We can’t even see joy anymore,” ChantsBoomBoom wrote in the comments.

Even though Roberts was disturbed by the comments she saw on Instagram, she’s glad that it helped her grasp what’s happening to young people online.

“I was so happy that happened because I had this whole new glimpse into a way of living that I didn’t get at all,” she told Winfrey. “You have to go through things to understand them, and this was just a little paper cut of what can really go on with social media.”


This article originally appeared on 2.16.24

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Parenting

Psychologist shares the 5 'core' memories your child will cherish from their childhood

A lot of parents will be surprised by her answers.

via Julia Kuzenkov/Pexels

A young girl relaxing in an inner tube.


There’s a popular trend where parents often share they are creating “core memories” for their children on social media posts, whether it’s planning an elaborate vacation or creating an extra-special holiday moment.

While it’s important for parents to want their kids to have happy childhoods, sometimes it feels presumptuous when they believe they can manufacture a core memory. Especially when a child’s inner world is so much different than an adult's.

Carol Kim, a mother of 3 and licensed Marriage and family Therapist, known as ParentingResilience on Instagram, recently shared the “5 Things Kids Will Remember from Their Childhood” on her page. The fascinating insight is that none of the entries had to do with extravagant vacations, over-the-top birthday parties, or Christmas gifts that kids could only dream about.

According to Kim, the five things that kids will remember all revolve around their parents' presence and support. "Notice how creating good memories doesn’t require expensive toys or lavish family trips. Your presence is the most valuable present you can give to your child,” Kim wrote in the post’s description.

1. Quality time together

"Taking some time to focus only on your child is very special. Playing games, reading books, or just talking can create strong, happy memories. These moments show your child that you are present with them."

2. Words of encouragement

"Encouraging words can greatly impact your child during both good times and tough times. Kids often seek approval from their parents and your positive words can be a strong motivator and source of comfort.... It can help kids believe in themselves, giving them the confidence to take on new challenges and keep going when things get tough."

parenting, core memories, quality time

A mother and child riding a small bike.

via Gustavo Fring/Pexels

3. Family traditions

“It creates a feeling of stability and togetherness … Family traditions make children feel like they belong and are part of a larger story, deepening their sense of security and understanding of family identity and values.”

4. Acts of kindness

“Seeing and doing kind things leaves a strong impression on children. It shows them the importance of being kind and caring. They remember how good it feels to help others and to see their parents helping too.”

5. Comfort during tough times

"Knowing they can rely on you during tough times makes them feel secure and build trust. … Comforting them when they're struggling shows them they are loved no matter what, helping them feel emotionally secure and strong."

parenting, core memories, quality time

A family making a meal together.

via Elina Fairytale/Pexels

Kim’s strategies are all beautiful ways to be present in our children’s lives and to communicate our support. However, these seemingly simple behaviors can be challenging for some parents who are dealing with issues stemming from their pasts.

“If you find barriers to providing these things, it’s important to reflect on why,” Kim writes in the post. “There could be several reasons, such as parenting in isolation (we’re not meant to parent alone), feeling overstimulated, dealing with past trauma, or struggling with mental health. Recognizing these challenges is the first step to addressing them and finding support.”


This article originally appeared on 6.10.24

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German toddler schools his dad on driving—and the rest of us on the origins of English

A hilarious viral video demonstrates why English is considered a Germanic language.

Photo by Helena Jankovičová Kováčová/Pexels

Out of the mouths of babes…

Tiny humans talking is cute in any language, but sometimes a video comes along that take adorable to a whole new level. Remember the little girl who was passionate about pencil justice? Or the Italian preschooler who did a full Italian rant about a miniskirt? Kids say the darnedest things, and when the darned things they say are caught on video, virality almost inevitable.

Now there's the German toddler who sternly gives his father a road rules lesson, literally side-seat driving and chastising him for accelerating too fast. His "Oh, mein Gott!" has people rolling, as does his ingrained respect for the rules of proper driving.

Watch:

Not only is the video a hilarious viral moment on its own merit, but it's also a pretty solid demonstration of how the English language originated.

English is considered a Germanic language, which is sometimes confusing because most of the words we use don't actually come from German. Some people mistakenly think English is a romance language like Spanish or French, but it's not. More than half of our vocabulary comes from French and Latin, though, hence a lot of the confusion.

Around a quarter of our vocabulary comes from German, but where our Germanic roots really come through is in our grammar and syntax. The order in which we say words is the same, such as putting adjectives in front of nouns (which is the opposite of romance languages). And our grammatical structure is very similar, with only a handful of somewhat minor differences.

As we see in the video, the German sentences are almost understandable without even having the translations on the screen. In the beginning, it almost sounds exactly like he's saying "Wait! Stop! Halt!" just with a German accent, even though he's actually speaking German. "Papa, da ist rot!" is so close to "Papa, that is red!" And "Oh, mein Gott!" is very clearly, "Oh, my God!" which is part of why English-speakers are finding the video so entertaining and also educational.

Check out these comments:

"We need an entire channel with this kid teaching us to speak German."

"Need my GPS to go 'aaaah! Mein gott, das ist zu viel' when I go over the speed limit."

"I just learned so much German.. this baby is more effective than Duolingo lol."

"MY German instructor. I'd so learn how to speak German from this baby 😭💕 I just learned like 5 words already!"

"How is it I can't understand toddlers that speak English but I can understand a German toddler without even knowing the language 😂"

"Americans are so much more used to hearing Spanish and French that we forget that our own language has nothing to do with them, and is actually much more closely related to what this little boy is saying. That's why it sounds so familiar to American ear ! :-)"

People also joked about his adult-like adherence to rules and regulations, as the German culture is known for such things.

"He's between 3 and 75 years old."

"This ain't kids first life on earth."

"Did he learn that somewhere or is that factory settings?"

"Lil bro has a decent credit score already and he isn't even fully out of the diaper stage of his life😂"

"That’s not a kid, that’s a full grown driving instructor 🤣🤣"

Thanks to the wee German lad for the fabulous driving and language lesson.

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Man lists 8 not fun, but very important things you need to start doing as an adult.

"Welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."

@johnfluenzer/TikTok

8 things you should be doing as an adult. Spoiler alert—none of them are fun.

Who among us hasn’t come into full adulthood wishing they had known certain things that could have made life so so so much easier in the long run? Choices that, if made, ultimately would have been much better for our well-being…not to mention our wallets.

But then again that is all part of growing older and (hopefully) wiser. However there is something to be said about getting advice from those who’ve been there, rather than learning the hard way every single time.

Thankfully, a man who goes by @johnfluenzer on TikTok has a great list of things young people should start doing once they become adults. Are any of his suggestions fun, cool or trendy? Not at all. But they are most definitely accurate. Just ask any 30+-year-olds who wished they had done at least four of these things.

John started off by saying, “welcome to being an adult. Maybe you weren't told this by your parents, but this is through my trial and error."

Listed below are the eight vital things to maintaining a healthy adulthood, that most of us have no idea about until well into adulthood.

1. Getting an annual doctor visit.

annual checkup

young woman visiting her doctor

Canva

This is the bare minimum amount of visits one should be making, according to John. He recommended more if you “have more medical concerns.”

2. Dental visits. For a yearly cleaning at the very least.

dentist near me

Woman at the dentist

Canva

"Keep in mind that a $300 cavity can turn into a $1,500 root canal, which can then turn into a $2,000 crown on top of the $1,500 you just paid, so it's better to just pay the $300 or whatever it is for a cavity, and just get it sorted,” he explained.

As someone with this exact experience (ignored a cavity because she didn't want to pay $300, only to pay $1500 years later, even with insurance) I can ruefully confirm.

…as can others, judging by the comments sections to John’s video.

“I didn’t go to the dentist for 8 years and now I need a root canal. Learn from my mistakes people,” one person wrote.

Seriously, no amount of flossing and avoiding sugar can make up for a professional cleaning and checkup, folks.

Last note on this subject—John mentioned that if you couldn’t afford to go to a dentist, to check for nearby dental schools that can often perform necessary procedures at a fraction of the cost.

Though he specifically mentioned dental schools in Canada, that is also an option in America. Things I wish I had known as a 20-year-old…

3. Next up, John suggested that if you are sexually active, to get checked for STDs/STIs.

std check, std clinic

an image of STD tests

Canva

“If you're uncomfortable with your GP, or you don't have a GP, go to a sexual health clinic…. Just go get tested — it's better to know,” he said.

4. Get vaccines. “Be up on your vaccines, not just your flu shot."

vaccine near me

A man having just got a vaccine.

Canva

"We're talking Hep A/Hep B, and also if you're under 25, get your Gardasil 9. It's three shots. It prevents the cancer-causing HPV,” he explained.

And while he mostly discussed the free health care options found in Canada, HPV vaccines are covered by most insurances in the US. Plus there are other potentially free/low cost resources, such as the Vaccines for Children (VFC) program for those under 19.

5. Then get a PEP, aka Post-exposure prophylaxis, if you had a “risky sexual encounter” and are worried about having contracted HIV.

pep near me

Image of pills

Canva

For this one, time really is of the essence. The sooner a PEP is taken, the more effective it is at preventing HIV, and must be taken within 72 hours of possible exposure to HIV.

Gotta say…list time 3-5 seem particularly important, as many young people are not given thorough sex education.

6. Rent. Everyone’s favorite.

rent prices, apartment near me

Image of a piggy back with a reminder to pay rent.

Canva

John explains that especially in a housing crisis, “your rent should be the first thing you take care of every month."

"It comes before everything. Now maybe if you have kids and they need to eat, of course, that's important," he added. "But a roof over their head is way more important and you do not want to give landlords any excuse to have you evicted. Pay your rent and pay it on time."

7. Hold onto that cellphone as long as possible.

cheap cellphone, lowering cellphone bill

Woman holding a cellphone

Canva

“I know we all want the new cell phones.Keep your phone as long as possible, OK?" he said. "I don't care if it's any iPhone 10, iPhone 8, keep it for as long as possible. Especially if you're under no contract—you have so much freedom.”

Instead of getting a new phone, John suggested switching providers every month to get special deals and save “$40–50 bucks a month,” which, as we all know, really adds up.

8. Only have one streaming subscription a month.

netflix, hbo, showtime, hulu

There's not need to have more than one streaming service at a time.

Canva

This one was admittedly “controversial,” John shared, but in his point of view, it’s a no brainer.

“You don't need Netflix, Disney, Hulu, whatever... you don't need them all the same month. January do Netflix, cancel. February do Hulu... All of these different apps, they let you save watchlists, right, like 'My List.' And if you cancel your subscription and you restart it two months later, your list is still there. So just save stuff, only pay for it once a month, and try to save some money,” he suggested.

What a wake up call, right? But other hardened adults couldn’t help but agree with John.

“This is very good advice, can confirm (unfortunately) as a fellow adult lol,” one person wrote.

Others appreciated how he took the time to share this list to help younger people avoid some pretty disheartening setbacks.

“I love people like you so much, just her to help others in life. People like you are so important because you didn’t have to make this video but you did.”

You can’t always trust what you hear on TikTok, but John’s advice is sound. What most life hacks seem to have in common, other than a healthy blend of common sense and 20/20 hindsight, is that it puts some form of security at the forefront—not necessarily instant gratification. Fun is so important, but as anyone with experience will tell you, peace of mind is priceless.

Watch the full video below:

@johnfluenzer #greenscreen Here is my list if things you jeed to start doing once you’re an adult! I know its not fun bit I wish someone had told me when I was younger. #genz #genalpha #adultingishard ♬ original sound - John

This article originally appeared on 12.10.23

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The surprising and inspiring reason so many nail salons are Vietnamese owned

20 women and a movie star started it all.

Tippi Hedren/Wikimedia and Tippi Hedren with Vietnamese women/Vietnamese Heritage Museum

The surprising history behind Vietnamese owned nail salons

One of the most frequently seen buildings in any town is a nail salon. It seems you can't go more than a few blocks without seeing one in most cities and if you frequent them, you've probably noticed that many of them are owned and operated by Vietnamese-Americans. There may have been some curiosity about this floating around or maybe people simply assumed it was always this way so they didn't ask.

But it turns out, Vietnamese owned nail shops boomed after the Vietnam War when America had an influx of refugees from the small country. Soogia, a small business owner and social media creator took to the internet to explain exactly why so many nail salons are owned by Vietnamese people after several followers asked her the question.

The surprising history involved a movies star, Tippi Hedren, and 20 young Vietnamese refugee women. Soogia explains that Hedren was working as a relief coordinator for Food for The Hungry in 1975 after the Vietnam war ended to help the women assimilate into American culture.

"Tippi Hedren was working with 20 Vietnamese women and she couldn't help but notice how much they were paying attention to her manicure, and they were so interested in how clean and pretty her nails were. And so she had the idea to have her manicurist and other people in the industry come up and teach these women how to do nails," Soogia shares.

The actress' manicurist came to visit the women weekly to do these classes and when they were ready she helped them get their licenses and jobs. After the women completed the impromptu apprenticeship and were licensed and ready to work, they took their new found skill to their community to teach other refugees.

Soogia points to the popularity of nail salons with the influence of Black culture, specifically Black women saying, "and though Vietnamese people drove the industry of the nail salon Black women really drove the culture. People like Donna Summer, Diana Ross, Florence Griffith Joyner, and now of course we have women like Meg Thee Stallion, and you of course cannot talk about nails and not mention Cardi B."


@soogia1 Many of you wanted to know: Why are so many nail salons run by Vietnamese people? @Soogia (SOO-jee-yah) #nailsalon #manicure #manipedi #tippihedren #dianaross #cardib #megtheestallion #acrylics #gelx ♬ original sound - Soogia (SOO-jee-yah)


So the cause of the rise of the nail industry was really full of serendipitous moments starting with just 20 determined women and an actress who saw an opportunity for the new refugees and the influence of famous Black women. Thanks to her role in catapulting Vietnamese people into nail salon history, Tippi Hedren is known as the Godmother of the Vietnamese nail industry. The documentary "Nailed It" explores the relationship between Vietnamese nail salons and Tippi Hedren as well as how the salons spread across America and can be found on Tubi.

People were surprised at the quick history lesson while others shared their connection with the story, with one writing, "Tippi Hedren was QUITE a unique person leading a very interesting life. I never heard this story before, wow, thank you!"

"My mom is Vietnamese & lost a lot during the war, but her nail skills are amazing," someone shares.

"Thank you for the history lesson! What an amazing and beautiful story," another says.

Another person admits, "I have been genuinely wondering this for ages. Thank you for educating me."

One man found himself getting emotional from her own family history, "this made me tear up. As a Vietnamese person who's mom and aunt did nails it hit home."

What an amazing little piece of history that people can take with them and share with others, and if you're curious about a more in depth explanation, check out the documentary.

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Health

Professor and skeptic found that there’s one proven way to make yourself luckier

Turn the odds in your favor.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

A man wins at a slot machine.

Are you the type of person who always gets the short end of the stick? Or do seemingly random events always work out in your favor? The interesting thing is that, according to research, whether you think you are lucky or unlucky, you're right.

The good news is that if you have bad luck, you can do some things to improve it.

Richard Wiseman studied 400 people over 10 years and found that people can control what seems uncontrollable: their luck.

Wiseman is the author of “The Luck Factor” and holds Britain’s only professorship in the public understanding of psychology at the University of Hertfordshire. He is also a fellow of the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry and a “Skeptical Inquirer” consulting editor.

In his research, Wiseman determined that one big thing separated the lucky from the unlucky: Lucky people consider themselves lucky.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

At first glance, this may seem like a simple psychological trick. People who’ve experienced a lot of misfortune will eventually consider themselves unlucky and vice versa. But that’s not the case. People who consider themselves lucky see the world differently than those who do not, giving them more opportunities for something positive to happen.

“Lucky people generate their own good fortune via four basic principles,” Wiseman wrote. “They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.”

By contrast, Wiseman found that people who considered themselves unlucky experienced more anxiety. “Personality tests revealed that unlucky people are generally much more tense than lucky people, and research has shown that anxiety disrupts people's ability to notice the unexpected,” he wrote.


How can I improve my luck?

If you consider yourself among the unlucky, Wiseman has 3 ways to develop a mindset that can bring more luck.

1. Write in a luck diary

Before you go to bed each night, spend about 30 seconds jotting down why you are lucky in a dairy. Take the time to list the things you’re grateful for, such as your friends, family, or health. You can also list some of the good things that happened during the day.

2. Be flexible

When you drive to work or college, take a different route occasionally. When you go to a party, start talking to the types of people you would normally avoid. Making yourself open to new experiences increases your chances of seeing new opportunities.

3. Trust your gut

People who consider themselves unlucky often fail to follow their intuition when making a choice. Whereas lucky people tend to put a lot of faith in their hunches. Unlucky people tend to focus on the rational part of a question, whereas lucky people follow their feelings. Wiseman believes this gives lucky people an advantage because gut feelings act as an alarm bell—a reason to consider a decision carefully.

Ultimately, Wiseman’s work shows that luck isn’t affected by supernatural beliefs or by holding onto a rabbit's foot. It’s the product of an optimistic view of the world that opens people up to greater possibilities. “Instead, it is about encouraging people to move away from a magical way of thinking and toward a more rational view of luck,” Wiseman wrote. “Perhaps most important of all, it is about using science and skepticism to increase the level of luck, happiness, and success in people’s lives.”

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