Gen Xers and boomers share how they dealt with anxiety and depression growing up
We've come a long way since the "suck it up" days.
One of the hallmarks of today's younger generations is that they have a greater awareness and acceptance of mental health issues than generations past. That's a good thing overall, with therapy and treatment for anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses being destigmatized. There are some pitfalls that have come along with the wave of awareness and knowledge, but even so, it's a far cry from the way mental health used to be handled.
Gen Xers and boomers are sharing how they handled anxiety and depression growing up and it's a testament to how far we've come in managing mental health. Those of us who grew up in those years remember how mental health wasn't talked about at all, and if it was, it was either to make fun of someone who was "crazy" or to side-eye people who needed therapy. The idea that seeing a psychologist isn't all that different than seeing a doctor for a physical ailment was unheard of.
It may be a bit depressing, but here's how those who grew up in the 70s—so Gen Xers and younger boomers—say they handled anxiety and depression when they were growing up. (And yes, there's a whole lot of Gen X sarcasm in these responses. We had to put all that angst somewhere.)
We 'sucked it up.'
There's no more classic phrase than "suck it up" to sum up the attitude toward anxiety and depression back in the day.
"We were told suck it up. You're fine. There was no such thing as depression or anxiety then."
"Suck it up. Get over it. You think you're special? Life isn't fair, get used to it. Edit to add a forgotten favorite: No one wants to hear your whining."
"'Suck it up' was the recommendation."
"This is what I came here to say - you just sucked it up a dealt with it."
We just 'stopped being so sensitive,' etc.
So many sayings are familiar to folks who dealt with untreated mental health issues…
"I didn't have depression. I just need to stop being so sensitive. My mom repeatedly told me so."
"Don't forget 'you're a kid what do you have to be stressed about?!' Or 'wait til you're an adult then you'll know what REAL problems are.'"
"I didn't have depression OR anxiety. I was also just too sensitive, and timid, and dramatic, and overly emotional, nervous and lazy. I just needed to smile more so other people would think I was happy until I actually was happy!"
"'Making mountains out of molehills...'"
"I read too much and had an overactive imagination."
"I let the little things bother me. Silly child."
We didn't talk about it.
Surely if we just don't talk about it, then it isn't a problem, right?
"No one talked about mental health. Even if a teen died from suicide, they just kept quiet, like if we ignore it, the kids will be better off."
"This was true if someone also attempted suicide. That person was seen as being mentally weak. Most people who attempt suicide either had mental health issues or other issues in their lives which weren't being addressed. Sucking it up doesn't work in those situations.
If you attempted suicide when I was a teen, you were taken to a mental health facility and usually you didn't return to school. The few people in high school that I had heard about who attempted suicide (none of them were successful) never return to school after the incident. It was hushed up."
"Yeah, we had a couple suicides at my high school. The kids knew. Hell, in one case it was a twin whose brother still went to school. You didn't talk about it. Nobody talked about it."
We pulled weeds.
Pulling weeds is not a cure for anxiety or depression, but compared to most of the other things on this list, it at least had a little bit of therapeutic merit.
"I just suffered. And according to my parents, I was just fine and needed to stop feeling sorry for myself and go pull weeds."
"Go pull weeds 🤣🤣, yes it was a thing."
"I didn’t realize 'pulling weeds' was a popular thing of the times! I thought it was just my Dad making us earn our keep. lol Pulling weeds was like an escape for me. Quiet, outdoors, I think it helped my depression!"
"It was a thing for us Gen Xers as kids growing up. Lol Complaining of boredom? No plans with friends? Feeling sad and lonely?... Go pull weeds and collect rocks from the garden."
"The soil actually has feel good chemicals in it. I definitely feel better gardening, stuff like that. But yeah, I still get depressed as shit still, I'll watch movies and stuff, kind of helps. You may get some wisdom from a line in a movie that stays with you. :)"
We self-medicated.
Sadly, there were a lot of substance use and addictive behaviors that came out of those generations as they dealt with their issues through "self-medication."
"Substance abuse. I was a straight A student, active in sports, pretty popular, and I was bombed or high almost every day. Pressure lead to anxiety which led to depression but I found shit didn’t hurt as bad if I added weed, booze, or pills to my daily diet. I also learned that if you had the grades nobody cared, parents, teachers, administrators.
It all came to a head in my 20’s, life pretty much fell apart after college. I sobered up in my early thirties and learned some coping skills along the way. Life turned out pretty damn good and I am pleased with the person I became."
"As a teen in the 70's, I self medicated. Looking back on it now, I had few tools to deal with the crushing depression and anxiety I had. The drugs (weed, amphetamines) and alcohol took the edge off. Some nights, I would lay in bed and cry myself to sleep."
"Alcohol, cigarettes, wouldn't eat food for days at a time. It seemed like an okay thing to do at the time. Looking back I wonder why someone didn't intervene."
"Good old fashioned eating disorder!"
Music. (Seriously, though.)
Perhaps there's a reason music was so good in that era…
"Music, first and foremost,still to this day."
"Ahhh, yes. The music was amazing at the time."
"Yes. Listening to music and just sitting in my room for hours a day learning how to play the guitar. Whenever I had my guitar in my hands I felt at peace and I would always feel much better after playing for awhile. It was like therapy, a way for me to get my emotions out without talking."
"Music was it for me too. No matter how bad my day was, I knew I could go into my bedroom at night, put an album on the record player, plug in my headphones and enter a world where no one could find me. It was bliss. Music is still my safe place all these decades later."
"Music was the ONLY thing that helped me through some very dark times. I felt utterly disconnected from my peers and only music made me feel like I belonged."
Thank goodness we've got so many more tools in our toolbelt these days. Though we still have a lot to learn about mental health and how to treat mental illnesses and disorders, at least we know they're real and are openly talking about them. It's good to see how far we've come from the "suck it up, buttercup" days.