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Frugal people say these under $50 upgrades saved them more money than expected

These 35 small investments really paid off.

frugal, frugal living, saving money, money saving hacks, money saving tips
Image via Canva

Frugal people share the best $50 or less investments that have saved them exponentially more.

Sometimes you have to spend money to save money, and people who live a budget-conscious, frugal lifestyle have perfectly mastered how to do it.

In a Reddit post, member jul_on_ice posed the question: "What’s one small upgrade (under $50) that saved you more money than you expected?"

They continued, "Talking about small wins that compounded over time over one thing that made a drastic difference. Frugality is often about not spending but sometimes investments can pay off. Maybe something that made work easier. Made life better. Made you more comfortable. Or something bought once that replaced lots of things you once had to spend on."

Fellow frugal people had lots of money saving hacks to share. These are 35 things that frugal people spent less than $50 on that have saved them lots of money.

"Vacuum sealer. I’m single and most shopping/recipes are four or five meals for me. Often I would have food waste because I no longer wanted the food after the third meal. Now I cook, have the leftovers I want, and vacuum seal the rest in portions. Keeps the food fresh and saves room in my freezer." —mercfan3

"Don’t rent the modem/router combo from Comcast. Just buy your own." —Dove_of_Doves

"A couple of incredibly mundane purchases that I should have made years earlier: having extra sets of measuring spoons (~ $3 per set) makes cooking so much easier; a digital cooking thermometer (~ $15); and a tire inflator that plugs into the car's cigarette lighter ($35) so I can top up the tires at home, rather than trying to find a place with a working air hose. ETA: A french press ($20) and electric kettle ($25). Have used the same french press for more than a decade, and get better tasting coffee without buying filters or K-cups. An electric kettle is surprisingly useful." —Taggart3629

"$9 3-cup rice cooker." —CeleronHubbard

"Popsicle molds. I live in the desert and we eat so many popsicles. Making them myself has saved money and they’re healthier." —Adventurous-Fig-5179

"Dropped cable, kept internet only. Pay for separate Netflix and Disney and all total we save $35 a month over the cable bundle. We did not watch 90% of the channels included. Definite win for us." —GarudaMamie

"Adding an over-the-air antenna. Is a great addition to cutting that “cable tv” cord. It is much easier than you think." —williamtrose367

"We got a renter friendly bidet and it has saved us SO MUCH in toilet paper usage." —Specific_Wait_8006

"We went with cloth diapers when the kids were little it saved us a bunch and kept a bunch of garbage out of the landfill. Once they were potty trained we were able to sell a lot of them." —Responsible-Charge27

"Maybe not a quantifiable dollar amount of a change, but I switched my mindset from “Unitaskers are bad” to “Unitaskers are acceptable if they do the 1 thing better than anything else”. Example: Those plastic pulled pork meat claw things are not better than a fork for the task of shredding meat, but a good mandolin slicer is much faster and probably safer overall than a knife, and rice cookers can cook rice exceptionally well, even if that’s all they do." —Ryutso

"Needles and threads. You can fix anything material with small rips or tears. I’ve extended the life of clothes, bags, and kids stuffed animals by years." —baldbutthairy

"I know this sounds crazy, but realizing I could buy more than one of something (e.g. bath mats, reading glasses, chargers, etc.) I had to really work on changing my thinking around this due to past financial challenges." SomeTangerine1184

"Second hand slow cooker. Money saving meals made from cheap tinned foods: daal, chilli, casserole, soups." —Ambitious_Ad1844

"Anything like this is usually an inexpensive household repair that I waited too long to do. Replacing loose door handles, fixing a leaky faucet, repairing the drip line from my A/C. Little cheap things that just made my life... better." —gogomom

"My aeropress has been a ridiculously good investment. It’s much more portable than a french press. I have it with me now while I’m travelling and I can access a good cup of coffee using the hotel kettle." —mrjasong

"I am a freezie human and nowhere is that more apparent than on airplanes. So I had this 'warm fuzzy' vest for wearing on the plane with a tougher outer fabric and a soft fleecy inner. I paid a seamstress to add an invisible zipper to one of the seams on the inside of the vest and now the gap in between the fleece inner fabric and the tougher outer fabric is what in the 1920s would be called a 'passthrough pocket' or modern hunters might call it a 'game pocket'. But you know what else? It's now my personal item and I wear it on the plane, Scott-e-Vest style, but cheaper. And now because of that, I can fly more budget airlines because I have less luggage-as-in-bags." —heinfamousj

"The jury is still out, but I recently made the switch to rechargeable AA batteries. I'm optimistic this will save me money as I use AAs in my camera flashes and go through a lot of them. It's not a purchase, but rather a process that I think is going to help a lot. I put everything on my 2% cash back credit card and pay it off at the end of the month. Recently, to get a better handle on my daily spending, I decided on what my monthly credit card bill goal should be. Divide that number by 30 and I get my daily spending goal. I then created a spreadsheet and track how much I spend each day and have a column with a running total for over/under. It's motivating to look and see 'Hey, I'm $XXX under budget so far for the month.' The daily goal is high enough to account for things like gas in my truck, haircuts and groceries." —No_Blueberry_8454

"Yearly paper planner. No more missed rendez-vous or deadlines, no more late fees. I tried going digital, but it doesn't work for my ADHD brain. I just snooze the reminders and forget about it. Until it's too late. So I went back to paper, and it's worth the $12-ish per year to me." —Duck__Holliday

"Bought a dead battery Dyson vacuum on Facebook market. Did the Ryobi battery upgrade. Got cheap 8ah Ryobi battery off ebay. Got a cheap Ryobi battery Charger off facebook market. Total all was about $50-60 and it works great." —antsam9

"Dying my hair at my hairdresser rather than at home. No more stains from the home dye. No wrecked towels, clothing or hair." —JoyCrazy

"If you drink a lot of soda or sparkling water, a Soda Stream can help you save. Just the CO2 canisters comes out to about $0.11 for 12 ounces vs paying about $0.50 per can of store bought soda. What gets you are the syrups… that can bring the price up to $0.40 ish per 12 ounces. So to be extra frugal, you could make your own fruit syrups and skip the store-bought stuff. Make a simple syrup (one part sugar, one part water; boil on the stove) and add lemon or lime or orange juice or whatever… I’m sure there are recipes all over the internet. And boom, homemade La Croix. It’s an investment to start, but saves over time." —Drooly_Cat_1103

"Somewhat location dependent but if you are in a dry climate like me and rely on humidifiers running 24/7, buy a cheap water distiller on Amazon (I think mine was like $60 but close enough, you might even find one under 50 if you look/wait for a sale). Distilled water gets pricey, but not using distilled water will junk up your humidifier with minerals which is both a bitch to clean and can eventually cause problems with the function. Save yourself the trouble. Also useful for steam cleaners, mixing your own cleaning sprays from concentrates, misting bottles, etc. At least if you have hard water, anything where you are repeatedly putting a lot through a very small line, distilled is preferred to prevent mineral buildup." —ilanallama85

"I got a Walmart+ membership (got it for $49, it renews at half off the $99 at anniversary). I get free shipping, so when I need something small (like shampoo), I don't need to run to the store. I've used Walmart+ so much more than I ever used Amazon Prime. It costs less, and I find I buy less random crap with Walmart+ than Prime." —sbinjax

"Three inexpensive manual coffee makers: Bialetti Moka Express pot, Bodum French Press, and V60 pour over. Bought all 3, virtually new, at the thrift shop for under 20 total about 5 years ago. The Bialetti makes an espresso-like cup, the Bodum is rich and strong, and the V60 makes a softer, smoother cup of coffee." —zeitness

"Not sure this will ever meaningfully 'pay out' on the investment, but a timer switch for the bathroom fan. I have ADHD and benefit from as many "set it and forget it" items as I can possibly get. Now I can set the fan, have a shower, walk away, and it'll turn itself off after a decent airing-out, and I don't end up walking by the bathroom 4 hours later like 'how long has the fan been on??' Less electricity used, less wear and tear on the fan, less conditioned air lost. Is it more savings than the amount I spent? Probably not for a long time. But it feels better!" —Kitchen-Owl-7323

"A shutoff valve to go above the shower heads in my kids’ bathroom’s so I can limit the flow. We have high water pressure and my kids universally put the faucets at max flow. I used the valves to cut the flow in half. The water pressure is still great but now they use half the water and the hot water now lasts through all six of our showers. I haven’t calculated the savings but I know we are using much less energy in water heating and much less water." —nottherealme1220

"A $30.00 pair of very high quality sharp scissors bought at a sewing machine store 20 years ago freed me forever from paying for haircuts. One YouTube video showed me how to trim & maintain - done. My brother bought a clipper set for $20.00 at the same time and does his own cuts. All that money gets plunked into savings!" —VulcanGreeting

"i switched from some fancy expensive work boots id been wearing to some 18 dollar shoes with 10 dollar insoles i got at walmart. i added the extra insoles on top of the existing ones for extra comfort. this saved me however how much i would have spent for my foot pain that was nearing bad enough to warrant medical attention. these are seriously the most comfortable shoes i have ever owned, i even wear them outside of work, on hikes, just going out on a wet day. over a year in and the extra insoles might need replaced in a few months but the shoes and their original insoles (the ones on bottom) are holding up perfectly. I'm in a better mood at work now too." —cccameronnn

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Internet

If you see a person and two dogs in this photo, look again. It's an optical illusion.

It takes a while to see it, but there aren't two dogs in the photo.

@Rainmaker1973/X, @farhadge/X

If you see a man and two dogs, look again.

Optical illusions are wild. The way our brains perceive what our eyes see can be way off base, even when we're sure about what we're looking at. Plenty of famous optical illusions have been created purposefully, from the Ames window that appears to be moving back and forth when it's actually rotating 360 degrees, to the spiral image that makes Van Gogh's "Starry Night" look like it's moving.

But sometimes optical illusions happen by accident. Those ones are even more fun because we know they aren't a result of someone trying to trick our brains. Our brains do the tricking all by themselves.

The popular Massimo account on X shared a photo that appears to be a person and two dogs in the snow. The more you look at it, the more you see just that—two dogs and someone who is presumably their owner. Turn the photo every which way and it's still the same conclusion. That's a person and two dogs, right?

 

But there are not two dogs in the photo. There are actually three dogs in this picture. Can you see the third?

Full confession time: I didn't see it at first. Not even when someone explained that the "human" is actually a dog. My brain couldn't see anything but a person with two legs, dressed all in black, with a furry hat and some kind of furry stole or jacket. My brain definitely did not see a black poodle, which is what the "person" actually is.

Are you looking at the photo and trying to see it, totally frustrated? The big hint is that the poodle is looking toward the camera. The "hat" on the "person" is the poodle's poofy tail, and the "scarf/stole" is the poodle's head.

Once you see it, it fairly clear, but for many of us, our brains did not process it until it was explicitly drawn out. This outline helps somewhat:

 

As one person explained, the black fur hides the contours and shadows, so all our brains take in is the outline, which looks very much like a person facing away from us.

People's reactions to the optical illusion were hilarious. One person wrote, "10 years later: I still see two dogs and a man."

 

Another person wrote, "I agree with ChatGPT :)" and shared a screenshot of the infamous AI chatbot describing the photo as having a person in the foreground. Even when asked, "Could the 'person' be another dog?" ChatGPT said it's possible, but not likely. Ha.

 

One reason we love optical illusions is that they remind us just how very human we are. Unlike a machine that takes in and spits out data, our brains perceive and interpret what our senses bring in—a quality that has helped us through our evolution. But the way our brains piece things together isn't perfect. Even ChatGPT's response is merely a reflection of our human imperfections at perception being mirrored back at us. They say seeing is believing, but when what we interpret what we're seeing incorrectly, we end up believing things that might not be real.

Sure is fun to play with how our brains work, though. Also a good reminder that what we think we see, even with our own eyes, may not be an accurate picture of reality.

This article originally appeared last year.

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InternetPop Culture
Joy

CEO shares 5 things he's 'sick' of hearing from his staff and people are applauding him for it

"People are sick of being treated like children."

via Rob Dance (used with permission).

CEO Rob Dance holds a list of things he's "sick" of hearing from his employees.

Since the COVID-19 pandemic disrupted workplaces worldwide, there has been a greater push for improved work-life balance and many companies are taking notice. The exciting thing is that when companies become more flexible, their employees become happier and more productive. It’s a win-win for all involved.

Rob Dance, the CEO of ROCK, a technology consulting company in the UK, recently went viral for posting about his approach to work-life balance on Instagram. What, at first, appeared to be a CEO reprimanding his employees revealed a boss who knows how to get the best out of his team by treating them like adults.

The post was of Dance holding a whiteboard that reads:

Things I’m sick of hearing from my employees:

- Can I leave early today

- I’ll be late in the morning

- My child is sick, can I rush off

- I’ve got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, is that okay

- I’m going to be late back from lunch, I’ve got some things to sort.

I don’t care.

I hired you for a job and I fully TRUST you to get it done.

I don’t need you to account for every single hour.

Times have changed, and the workplace is different these days.

People are sick of being treated like children.

All that should matter is that everyone is happy, and that the work gets done.


He also shared his advice for companies on how to treat their employees. “Treat your staff like adults. That’s it, that’s the big secret,” he wrote. “Give them autonomy. Respect that they have lives outside of work. Don’t gaslight them into being grateful for not being fired every day.” Because in the end, the only thing that matters is if they get the job done. “Output should always trump hours,” he concluded.

Upworthy contacted Dance, who explained why managers still hesitate to treat their employees like adults.

“Many bosses don't trust their employees and keep extremely close tabs on them because of past experiences and a desire for control. They might believe that micromanaging ensures productivity and prevents issues,” he told Upworthy. “Additionally, the pressure to meet business targets can drive bosses to monitor employees obsessively, thinking it will lead to better outcomes. This approach, however, only undermines trust and destroys morale in the workplace. It creates a toxic environment where employees feel undervalued and stressed, leading to higher turnover rates and decreased overall performance. Instead of fostering a culture of accountability and growth, this behavior only promotes fear and resentment.”


Dance says that technology has helped drive demand for improved work-life balance.

“Mobile technology definitely started to blur the lines between one’s professional and personal life, making it tough to switch off from work,” he told Upworthy. “As a millennial leader, I've always valued work-life harmony for my staff, helping them to achieve both flexibility and finding purpose in their work.”

The ROCK CEO also has advice for employees who’d like to gain their employer’s trust.

“Always deliver quality work and aim to meet or exceed expectations. Keep communication lines open by regularly updating your manager on your progress, challenges, and successes,” he told Upworthy. “Take the initiative to go beyond basic requirements, showing your willingness to contribute more. Act with integrity by always being honest and ethical. Seek honest feedback and make tangible improvements based on it, demonstrating your commitment to growth. Finally, a big one is building positive relationships with everyone you work with, as strong connections are what help to build real trust.”

In April 2025, Dance shared some additional wisdom that highlights the power of leaders prioritizing culture. He took a photo of himself holding a whiteboard with some more wisdom that all CEOs should take to heart: "An employee who leaves for the salary might return for the culture, but if they leave because of the culture, no salary will ever bring them back."

It makes you wonder, if the money was right, which previous jobs would you go back to, and which ones would you reject?


 rob dance, work-life balance, ROCK UK, bosess, pto, time off, employee complaints CEO Rob Dance holds up a whipe board with his culture philosophy.   www.linkedin.com  


This article originally appeared last year.

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Culture

Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don't miss from the 80s and 90s

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too."

Images via Canva

Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the "gold old days." But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: "What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?"

Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don't miss about the 80s and 90s.

 landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF  Giphy  

"Long distance phone bill." —gohdnuorg

"Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that." —raz0rbl4d3

"Answering the landline and having no idea who's calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety." —Fit-Interview-3886

"Not having GPS." —recrysis

"Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section." —Less-Lengthiness4863

 smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s mothers day smoking GIF  Giphy  

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too." —poizon_elff

"Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time." —timmayd

"Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter's hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp." —Honey-Badger-90

"Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners." —JLMTIK88

"Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free." —Joshawott27

 internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet Girl 90S GIF  Giphy  

"Satanic panic." —Historical_Spot_4051

"Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two." —11B-E5

"Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda 'last forever'. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren't developing that tech." —snoozieboi

"Shoulder pads." —Thin_Apartment_8076

 shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints  Giphy  

"Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never." —Imaginary-List-4945

"Terrible contact lenses." —MandatoryMatchmaker

"To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn't do anything else." —rena-vee

"Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time." —Aggravating-Iron9804

 pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons  Giphy  

"Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn't teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn't teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn't know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun." —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

"The 'heroin chic' body type." —Heartbreak_Star

"Panty hose." —Kitty-haha

"Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles 😔🫠😂😂." — IAmTheBlackStar1979

"Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job." -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

 vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding Animated GIF  Giphy  

"Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape." —mycrml

"Serial killers. They just can't exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%." —PrimeNumbersby2

"Manual roll up/down windows in cars." —Human-Average-2222

"Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone 🤢." —GoblinHeart1334

"Busy signal on the phone." —crjconsulting

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Woman who lives on a cruise ship shares the hardest part about her otherwise dream life

"I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,”

via Christine Kesteloo/TikTok and Cagri Gurbuz/Pexels

Christine Kesteloo has one big problem living on a cruise ship.

A lot of folks would love to trade lives with Christine Kesteloo. Her husband is the Chief Engineer on a cruise ship, so she gets to live on the boat pretty much for free as the “wife on board.” For Christine, life is a lot like living on a permanent vacation.

“I live on a cruise ship for half the year with my husband, and it's often as glamorous as it sounds,” she told Insider. “After all, I don't cook, clean, make my bed, do laundry or pay for food.“

Living an all-inclusive lifestyle seems like paradise, but it has some drawbacks. Having access to all-you-can-eat food all day long can really have an effect on one’s waistline. Kesteloo admits that living on a cruise ship takes a lot of self-discipline because the temptation is always right under her nose.

 cruise ships, dieting, all you can eat, living on a cruise ship, tiktok A woman eats and drinks while enjoying the view on a cruise shipImage via Canva

“One of the hardest things about living on a cruise ship is that I know right now, if I just leave my cabin, I can go and have cookies, pizza, a shake, I could have anything I wanted, and I want it, I absolutely want it,” she said in a TikTok video that received over 400,000 views.


@dutchworld_americangirl

The hardest part about living on a cruise ship is that I am surrounded by free food all of the time anything I want I just had lunch but it’s 2 o’clock in my body tells me it’s either cookie time or time for a hamburger. The hardest part is telling myself not to eat. #hardestpart #cruiseship #livingatsea #koningsdam #weliveonacruiseship #cruisefoodie #foodtok #itsaproblem #halcruises #hollandamericaline

 


“I am laying here. It is 2 pm. I had a salad for lunch, I had some fresh fruit, but that didn’t fill me up,” she continued. “Right now, all I can think about is eating a burger with some French fries and some mayonnaise.”

“And that, folks, is the absolute hardest part about living on a cruise ship,” she said. “I am surrounded by food all the time.”

She added, "The hardest part is telling myself not to eat.”

 cruise ships, eating on cruises, buffets, all you can eat, diets, living on a cruise ship, life on cruise ships A person refusing a hamburger and friesImage via Canva

Kesteloo’s trouble is a common problem among people on cruise ships. A study by Admiral Travel Insurance found that over 60% of people who go on a week-long cruise anticipate gaining weight. Seventeen percent of people say they gain 2 to 3 pounds on a cruise, while 14% say they gain 4 to 5 pounds.

Other estimates show that the average cruiser will put on 5 to 10 pounds on a weeklong cruise. Imagine living on a cruise ship for half the year, like Kesteloo. She could quickly put on 100 pounds a year if she's not careful.

"I’d be huge if I lived there. I would feel like I’m on a constant vacation, and who diets on vacation?" Theresa Gramelsapcker-Wilson wrote in the comments.

"This is my main reason why I couldn’t do this HHAHAHAHAHAA," Cara Mia added.

"I never thought about those who actually live on a cruise ship. I would be 500 pounds," Lucky Penny2468 said.

Kesteloo’s battle with temptation shows that in every life, a little rain must fall. Nobody ever truly has it perfect. Kesteloo seems to be living the perfect life on board a cruise ship, but she still has to fight temptation every moment of the day or make good use of the ship’s gym facilities. But, obviously, having access to too much food is far better than having too little.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Motherhood

People are in disbelief learning how many moms literally daydream about being hospitalized

It's a real phenomenon.

Canva, @emilykmay/X

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

 moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parenting An exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

 
 

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


 motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental health An exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


 
 

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

 moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation  A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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