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Formerly enslaved man's response to his 'master' wanting him back is a literary masterpiece

"I would rather stay here and starve — and die, if it come to that — than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters."

portrait of former enslaved man, Jordan Anderson
GOOD

A photo of Jordan Anderson.

In 1825, at the approximate age of 8, Jordan Anderson (sometimes spelled "Jordon") was sold into slavery and would live as a servant of the Anderson family for 39 years. In 1864, the Union Army camped out on the Anderson plantation and Jordan and his wife, Amanda, were liberated. The couple eventually made it safely to Dayton, Ohio, where, in July 1865, Jordan received a letter from his former owner, Colonel P.H. Anderson. The letter kindly asked Jordan to return to work on the plantation because it had fallen into disarray during the war.

On Aug. 7, 1865, Jordan dictated his response through his new boss, Valentine Winters, and it was published in the Cincinnati Commercial. The letter, entitled "Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master," was not only hilarious, but it showed compassion, defiance, and dignity. That year, the letter would be republished in theNew York Daily Tribune and Lydia Marie Child's The Freedman's Book.

The letter mentions a "Miss Mary" (Col. Anderson's Wife), "Martha" (Col. Anderson's daughter), Henry (most likely Col. Anderson's son), and George Carter (a local carpenter).

Dayton, Ohio,
August 7, 1865
To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jordon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin's to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy, — the folks call her Mrs. Anderson, — and the children — Milly, Jane, and Grundy — go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, "Them colored people were slaves" down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor's visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams's Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve — and die, if it come to that — than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,
Jordon Anderson

Learn more about Jordan Anderson here.


This article originally appeared eight years ago.


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Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

This article originally appeared in February

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Humor

Gen Zers hilariously try to explain to other generations what makes them laugh

"Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes."

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Gen Z doesn't get their own humor.

When it comes to jokes, some generations love a very clear set-up-punch. "My wife is so lazy she… ba dum tss!"

For Gen Xers, "storytelling jokes" became more popular, made famous by the likes of Janeane Garofalo, Patton Oswalt, and David Cross. You were there for the hilarity peppered throughout a story, rather than the traditional short-form approach. Think Louis C.K., John Mulaney, or Kevin Hart.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

But on the subreddit group r/outoftheloop, a blatant question was posed: "What is up with Gen Z humor?"

The question comes from a very earnest place. A 35-year-old Millennial woman simply wants to connect more with her 22-year-old Gen Z sister. The OP (@trainstationpoet) writes, "She is the best marshmallow squishy ray of light I’ve ever known. When I see her I just want to connect in every way possible to get that sibling good-good. She sends me some memes like this one and I genuinely do not understand ANY of them."

There is a link to Know Your Meme, which contains a picture of the following: a stick figure drawing of a smoking man with a hat entering through a door into a bunch of squiggles and capital "As." On top, it says "Are Ya Winning, Son? Don't forget to play The Last of Us too.." (I, too, am stumped.)

She then shares the same website with a piece entitled, "13 Reminders That Gen Z Kids Are Still The Future (Of Memes)" with different examples of what generations might find funny. Even the intro paragraph could be read as sarcastic, so wait—is THAT Gen Z humor?

For example, someone (and there doesn't seem to be a byline) writes, "There's nothing like a dose of good old generational stereotyping to distinguish between the different age groups. Boomers are the 'selfish and entitled ones' (depending on your age), whereas Millennials are the different, more self-aware brand of selfish and entitled (or self-loathing). As for Gen Z, they've got bigger fish to deep-fry than entering an argument about whether or not they're repeating the pattern."

They add, seemingly more sincerely, "The youngest generation is truly one of the strangest, because they laugh at their pain in a way that older generations haven't been able to. And there's something kind of endearing about that, in a messed-up sort of way. The cheerful pessimism and absurdist nature of Zoomer humor reminds us that even if everything won't be okay for the youth of today, at least they've gotten pretty good at making some truly detached and meaningless jokes online, as these examples remind us."

They then proceed to share memes to exemplify this premise. One, also sourced from Reddit, is titled "Le Gen Z has arrived." Underneath, it says "Boomer humor: Bad Wife, Millennial humor: Bad Life, Gen Z humor:" and it's merely a cartoon of a dog giving side-eye to a pink "beast version" of said dog who seems to be pawing a blue "beast version" of said dog and… oh never mind, I don't get it!

meme, side eye, gif, dog, gen z, humorSide Eye Dog Meme GIFGiphy

Back on the Reddit thread, the OP adds, "What I really don’t understand is the ‘why’ of the Gen Z humor. Boomer = low-hanging fruit that is 25% funny, 75% putting down other people. Millennial humor is self-deprecating jokes about wanting to be dead. Gen X humor is… idk, I never hear about them honestly. Then Gen Z humor (to me) is about taking acid, ending up on the astral plane and saying one to five words that vaguely represent the picture in the meme."

There are thousands of comments. One Redditor offers sound advice, which is essentially not to show fear. "Best advice to add: Don't say you don't get the meme. Half of Gen Z doesn't even get their own memes. You just sound old if you say that. The memes go fast and don't stick for long, so if you don't get it, don't ask about it."

Another explains that trends change so quickly for Zoomers, they want to make it seem like they're always keeping up. "When people hear ‘meme’ they expect a joke generally. I don’t think that’s how Gen Z sees it. Being in the know is the important part for them. I’m reminded of fashion trends… in my personal opinion, many fashion trends are ridiculous, memes are now fashion trends, it’s not about funny it’s about popular."

memes, gifs, confusing meme, gen z humor, generational humorMeme Reaction GIF by TokkingheadsGiphy

Many add that the jokes are deeply layered and purposely confusing. And when one starts to go down the rabbit hole, it actually is pretty brilliant in all its absurdity.

Bottom line, everything about Gen Z's humor is perfectly summed up by this comment: "Apparently postmodernism includes post-postmodernism."

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Internet

A nail salon made an ad so funny that people are taking road trips just for a manicure

Nailed it.

Representative photos by Wonderlane|Flickr and Aris Leoven|Canva

This Canadian nail salon has people packing their bags for a manicure

There are a lot of nail salons out there and, without word of mouth recommendations from people you trust, it can be impossible to know which salon to visit. Thanks to social media, though, many businesses have pages where they can advertise their services without having to spend a lot of money on traditional marketing practices like television, billboards, and radio. Doing their marketing using pictures and videos of their amazing work can help keep a steady flow of customers coming—but one Canadian nail salon is going with a slightly different approach.

Henry Pro Nails in Toronto, Canada is leaving the Internet in stitches after creating a viral ad for his nail salon. The video takes the beginnings of several viral video clips but instead of the expected ending, Henry pops in completing the viral moment in hilarious different ways.

It opens with a familiar viral video of a man on a stretcher being pulled by EMS when the stretcher overturns, flopping the man onto the ground. But instead of it ending with the injured man on the ground, Henry seamlessly appears laid out on the floor of his salon and delivers his first line, "Come to my nail salon. Your nails will look beautiful."

nails, nail salon, manicure, henry's pro nails, adsRihanna Nails GIFGiphy

In another clip, a man holds his leg straight up and somehow flips himself into a split. When the camera cuts back to Henry, he's in the splits on the floor of his nail salon promoting loyalty discounts. The ad is insanely creative and people in the comments can't get enough. Some are even planning a trip to Toronto just to get their nails done by the now Internet famous top nail artist in Canada. This isn't Henry's first rodeo making creative ads, but this is one is without a doubt his most popular—and effective.

"I will fly to Canada to get my nails done here just because of this hilarious video. You win this trend for sure," one woman says.

"Get yourself a passport and make a road trip! My bf and I are legit getting ours and its only a 4 hr drive from where we are in Pennsylvania. Their prices are a lot better than other places I've been too," another person says while convincing a fellow American citizen to make the trip.

"Omg, where are you located? I would fly to get my nails done by you," one person writes.

"The pedicure I had at Henry’s was the best I have ever had. Unfortunately made all other places disappointing and I don’t live close enough for Henry’s to be my regular spot," someone else shares.

To keep up with demand, in late October 2024 Henry's announced another location was coming soon in Vaughan, Ontario. Though there's no word on when the new "more spacious and professional facility" is opening just yet, customers can keep an eye out for Henry's next ad on social media.

It just goes to show that creative advertising can get people to go just about anywhere, but great service is what gets them to come back. If you're ever in Toronto (or Vaughan!) and find yourself needing an emergency manicure, Henry's Pro Nails is apparently the place to be.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Humor

JD Vance accidentally dropped the college football championship trophy and people have jokes

We can still come together to make fun of politicians.

CBS News/Youtube & Michael Li/Flickr

JD Vance "fumbles" the coveted college football national championship trophy.

It's a tradition for sports teams that win major championships to receive the honor of visiting the White House and meeting the President. The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles will be visiting soon. The World Series winning Los Angeles Dodgers visited earlier this year. And just this week, the national champions Ohio State Buckeyes took the stage with President Donald Trump and Vice President JD Vance, an Ohio State alum.

It was a simple photo opp. There would be no hard hitting questions from journalists about the economy or Russia. Everyone involved was there to simply celebrate the accomplishments of a talented and hard working group of young men in a controversy-free ceremony. What could possibly go wrong?

JD Vance had other plans. The moment he went to hoist the trophy, it appeared to quite literally fall apart in his hands.

Vance puzzled over the trophy for a moment as he tried to slide it toward himself. Then, as he began to lift it, the top half toppled over only to be caught by Ohio State running back TreVeyon Henderson before hitting the ground. You can actually hear the crowd gasping and holding their breath before Henderson saves it, all while the United States Marine Corps Band performs "We Are the Champions." You honestly couldn't script a more hilarious sequence if you hired Hollywood's funniest comedy writers.

To be fair, the college playoff national championship trophy is a little confusingly constructed. The bottom half is just a black stand for the trophy itself, which is the 26.5 inch tapered golden piece on top. So technically, Vance didn't break the trophy. He just didn't realize that it came apart in two pieces.

But it was too late. The blunder was caught by dozens and dozens of cameras, with the jokes about Vance "fumbling" the trophy nearly writing themselves.

Watch the wild video here:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Vance, the Internet's favorite punching bag as of late, suddenly found himself on the butt end of an avalanche of jokes.

Vance is no stranger to being made fun of on the Web. First, it was the theories that he wears eyeliner while simultaneously preaching about the death of masculinity. Then, it was enterprising social media users engaging in a war of one-upmanship to see who could create the most horrifying, bloated caricature of the VP.

And now, he can add this fumblerooski to his resume.

In a thread posted on the subreddit WatchPeopleDieInside, people came with their best jokes at Vance's expense:

"Ahh I see it's because the trophy didn't wear a suit and say thank you"

"That man has never held a trophy in his life."

"They are going to blame the Democrats for this."

On X, one user wrote, "JD Vance: Can't order donuts. Can't hold a normal conversation. Can't hold a trophy without breaking it."

Honestly, jokes were barely necessary. The photos are hilarious enough. The top half of the trophy tumbling limply into Vance's shoulder. Vance bending down, scrambling to pick up the base. It's all just *chefs kiss.*


People on the right had some fun at the VP's expense, too.

"Trophy must be made in China," one Reddit user joked.

"Dan Quail on steroids," added another.

Fox News couldn't help themselves, either. They made more than a few puns about Vance "fumbling" the trophy.

Even Vance himself had no choice but to try to take the mockery in stride.

The Trump administration is off to a controversial start, to put it extremely lightly. JD Vance's trophy snafu harkens back to a simpler time when we all came together to make fun of George W. Bush not knowing how to pronounce words or Gerald Ford tumbling down the stairs of Air Force One. There isn't much that's able to bring people from different sides of the aisle together anymore, and this one is just a minor blip in the grander scheme. But this little reprieve in the news cycle has definitely been a much needed source of comic relief.

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Kids

A daring boy invited classmates to his birthday party. One problem: there was no birthday party.

One mom knew the invite seemed fishy, but couldn't believe her eyes when they showed up.

Canva Photos

A mischievous boy created his own DIY birthday invitations.

We've all heard the sob stories about kids who invite the whole class to their birthday party, only for no one to show up. It's heartbreaking and horrific and all too common. But who's ever heard of a story where people showed up, but there was no birthday party?!

One mom is going viral for sharing a laugh-out-loud story of a young boy's ingenuity. It all started with an innocent-enough birthday invitation her own son brought home from school.

surprise, surprise party, birthday party, birthday, parenting, kidsWhen the parents don't even know about it, that's a successful surprise party.Giphy

The mom, who goes by Bree on TikTok, tells the tale in a now-viral clip. She says her son brought home a homemade (very homemade) birthday invitation from school. It read, in child's handwriting, "Your invited to my birthday, yay!" On the back, the chicken scratch read, "Come over and play soccer, play FIFA, do the trampoline..." and more.

Bree was suspicious of the invite from the get-go, but figured the boy's parents had just let him make his own. As an exhausted dad, I can definitely imagine a scenario where my wife and I just give up completely and let our youngest write whatever the heck she wants to and hand them out herself. So, although the handwritten invite was a little weird, it was easily explainable.

But then the strikes started adding up. Bree's son told her that they didn't have to RSVP and that the party was the very next day.

Bree, being a cool mom, decided to roll with it and show up anyway. And that's when things got hilarious.

“I turn the corner—not one balloon inside, not one table, not one chair inside, just [the boy's] dad and his three uncles. That's it. The dad looks at me, kind of surprised, and I was like, ‘Hi, we're here for the birthday party!’ And he just says, ‘Oh, okay, my wife's not home.’”

After waiting around for other people to show up to the party (unsuccessfully), Bree and her son noticed the boy taking a cake out of the fridge so everyone could dig in. At that point, Bree was pretty certain there was no party and they high-tailed it out of there.

Watch her tell the hysterical story here:


@breesquirrely

Talk about stressed 😂😂 #relatable #kids #mom #family #fypシ #trending

Viewers had a lot of theories and takes on the whole awkward debacle.

The video has been viewed almost 10 million times to date, with thousands reaching out in the comments to share their appreciation for the story. Some loved that Bree's son was such a good friend that he was willing to show up anywhere, anytime:

"At least you know your son is ready to rock for anyone. He doesn’t need decorations, cake, or even other guests ; that boy is ready to party."

"You're raising a good hearted young man. He didn't care for decor or anything he just wanted to show up for his friend."

@breesquirrely

Replying to @🌻 I highly doubt there was ever a birthday party 😂😂😂 ##update##part2##kids##relatable##fypシ##trending

Some said their own kids (or even themselves!) had pulled similar shenanigans in the past:

"My daughter did this, she made birthday invitations and passed them out to her classmates with my number noted. Had all the parents calling asking for address. There was no party."

"I'm 65 now...when I was in 1st grade I invited my entire class to come to my birthday party on Saturday. I woke up Saturday morning and told my Mom."

Others were concerned about the boy, wondering if he threw his own birthday party because no one else would. In replies to comments, Bree said that didn't seem to be the case. "I think it was a case of kids being kids and he forgot to tell his mama about the party he planned," she said.

Whatever the case, most commenters could agree that the boy in question wanted a play date with his friends and decided to take matters into his own hands to make it happen.

It's frustrating to be a kid and have so many things out of your control. When you're young, all your friendships are managed by your parents (for good reason) and while that keeps responsibility off your young shoulders, it's also challenging. Most of us remember being a kid and our best friend suddenly moving away with no warning! It's crushing and makes you feel helpless.

The boy who threw his own impromptu birthday party was practicing something called agency, which means the ability to make decisions about things that affect you and a belief that you have some power to control what happens to you. Agency is an important developmental milestone for kids and adults, and it's a key piece of our overall mental health. Some parents foster agency in their kids by printing up play date business cards that their children can hand out with a parent's phone number on them—seriously. The children may not arrange the play dates themselves but they can hand out cards to new friends they meet and have some control over their own social lives. Other parents encourage agency by asking their kids questions instead of telling them what to do, or practicing active listening techniques.

And then, of course, some kids take agency into their own hands with secret, hilarious plans that their parents know nothing about. If nothing else, this kid displayed an entrepreneurial spirit that will take him far one day.

For the parents out there, though, Bree warns to make sure birthday invitations are parent-approved before showing up anywhere. Unless you want to exercise your adventurous side, that is.

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