feel more like you

Everything looks different after a cancer diagnosis, and that difference only continues once a patient enters remission.

The illness and treatment for the illness affect how a person looks and feels, and those changes can last for years if not forever.

At first, you're so focused on surviving that looks are an afterthought. But once your appearance begins to change, it can affect you as deeply as the cancer itself.

As a result, feelings about one's outward appearance become complicated and difficult to navigate. But with the help of family, friends, and a few professionals (plus a lot of internal fortitude), it can get easier.

We asked cancer survivors how they embraced their new normal. Here's what they told us.

Sabrina Wang looked towards what she'd lost and then started taking control of her future.

Photo courtesy of Sabrina Wang.

Sabrina was diagnosed with leukemia when she turned 19. She went into remission after 5 rounds of chemotherapy, but the cancer returned. After a bone marrow transplant that saved her life, Sabrina recovered but now lives with a lung condition and has entered early menopause.

Along with all of that, Sabrina had to process how cancer was changing her appearance.

"When I was battling and recovering from cancer, I was either bald or had really short hair, and I was overweight and bloated from the steroid medications I had to take," Sabrina writes. "I had always felt insecure about my looks throughout high school and just when I felt I was finally blossoming as a woman, cancer made me feel like an ugly duckling again."

Looking in the mirror was too much for Sabrina. Not being able to go outside, she remembers, was a comfort, because she couldn't imagine other people seeing her. But "Look Good, Feel Better," an event that her medical team signed up for helped her embrace the changes her body had been through.

"I attended the event with other young female cancer patients around my age who were all struggling with the same feelings about their appearance," Sabrina writes. "The things they taught us in that workshop went further than just wigs and makeup, they taught us how to appreciate what we still have and work with what we got. I realized there were things still within my control, and I started focusing on what I could control instead of what I had lost."

Sabrina's hope for people living with cancer is that they can focus on what they can appreciate, even when it feels impossible.

"I remember a turning point in my cancer journey was when someone commented that it was nice I still had all my lashes even though my hair was gone. I hadn't even thought about my lashes because I was too focused on losing my hair. That person's comment was a lightbulb moment for me. Since that day, I started to take deliberate notice of what I still had and I continue to do that today."

"When you have cancer, it's easy to feel sorry for yourself because you'll likely lose a lot of things. But I don't dwell on the things I lost. Instead, I choose to appreciate what I still have."

Cancer made Wade Brill question everything. Then she came upon a simple answer: Seek inner beauty and peace.

Photo courtesy of Wade Brill.

"Cancer shook me to the ground and rebuilt the way I see and feel in this world," Wade explains. "I was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma in 2010 and, while going through chemo, I lost my mom to her battle of Leukemia."

Being sick and losing her mother at the same time pushed Wade to find a new perspective on life. She decided that to live to the fullest, her priorities would need to change. She also changed the way that she viewed societal standards of beauty.

"I lost most of my hair during chemo and I feared looking like a 'cancer patient' while I was sick. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror. I went inward and worked on harnessing confidence and light from the inside out. To this day, I don't wear much makeup or spend a lot of time getting ready on the outside. I think it is more important [to focus] on how I "be" versus how I look, which was not the case for me before I got sick. I was so much more into brand-names and labels."

Focusing inward should also be about taking care of your physical body, which is why Walgreen's Feel More Like You service provides extra support for people living with cancer. Their pharmacists are there to offer recommendations for any side effects you might be experiencing while going through treatment, and talk through any concerns you might have about symptoms and/or medication.

Wade also learned to meditate and journaled her feelings. She changed how she spent her time by removing negatives from her life, starting therapy, and committing to healing herself in many ways.

"Foster self-love," she says. "It can feel hard to do so when it feels like your body is attacking itself, but you get to play an active role in the healing process."

"Find things that make you feel good! Whether that is a beautiful sweater you love to wear, a cute hat, beautiful earrings or an empowering necklace. Find at least one material item that makes you feel strong, empowered, and confident when you put it on.

"Look at yourself in the mirror and say, 'you are beautiful.' Meet yourself where you are, and don't try to hide from it. "

Sunday Burquest's diagnosis divided her life into a before and after. The greatest gift you can give yourself, she says, is time.

Photo via Sunday Burquest.

Sunday knew from past experiences with loved ones how difficult cancer treatment would be, but no one, she says, prepared her for the emotional and mental toll it would take on her or how her feelings about her appearance would change.

"I've had eight surgeries in an attempt to reconstruct my former appearance."

"My plastic surgeon is fantastic, but I still see the scars and the unnatural curves in my body. For several years, I looked like Barbie standing in the mirror, until I discovered a tattoo artist who specializes in helping women after a mastectomy."

Sunday's most important piece of advice? If you're undergoing cancer treatment, give yourself time to process the diagnosis and treatment, and allow yourself to deal with the emotions that come up in your own way.

"Don't allow others' opinions of what you “should" or “shouldn't" do dictate your decisions. Do what is right for you! Allow yourself to grieve the changes in your body, emotions, and relationships. Try not to expect to get back to normal. Rather, spend time creating your own “new normal."

"Don't compare yourself – you are you and beautiful the way you are, never allow anyone to make you feel as though you aren't the amazing bad-ass that you are!"

Everyone deserves to feel better and more like themselves — on the inside and out — no matter what they're going through.

That's why Walgreens created their Feel More Like You service.

Now at over 3,000 locations nationwide, the free service brings together specially trained beauty consultants and pharmacists to help people living with cancer receive individualized guidance and manage the changes they're experiencing and make them look and feel their very best, especially when faced with one of life's biggest challenges.

Feeling more like yourself is a step towards getting your life back. And if your "self" looks and feels different than it did before cancer, it's important to get to know that person and realize that they're just as worthwhile.

A cancer diagnosis brings with it a flood of thoughts and emotions that can be difficult to handle.

None of us are prepared to hear that we or a loved one have a life-altering disease with a potentially tragic outcome, and the uncertainty that follows a cancer diagnosis is scary.

Since 1 in 3 of us will experience a cancer diagnosis in our lifetime according to the American Cancer Society, it's good to know what to expect.

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Dr. Jennifer Lee, PhD, a Licensed Psychologist at the Aflac Cancer and Blood Disorders Center at Children's Healthcare of Atlanta, says that it's normal to feel upset, angry, sad, or numb upon hearing the words “It's cancer." “Many people's initial response to a cancer diagnosis is shock and fear," Lee says. “The shock and fear should gradually decrease, but it takes time. As families get more information about what the diagnosis means and their specific treatment plan, many families begin to shift to a more action-oriented approach to take steps to address the illness and symptoms."

Some of that action includes purposefully engaging in self-care — doing things that can help you feel more connected to yourself as you go through your cancer journey.

Self-care for cancer patients goes beyond seeing doctors and taking medications.

"Self-care" can feel like a loaded term when you're overwhelmed, but that's when caring for yourself is most vital. Many people living with cancer will see a therapist to help them deal with the emotional and psychological toll that cancer can take, but there are other things patients can do along with that to help them feel more like themselves.

Keep living your life.

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It can be tempting to put your life on hold while you're dealing with cancer, but Dr. Lee says that maintaining as much of a normal life as possible is one of the most important things cancer-affected families can do.

"This may require creating a 'new normal' for yourself after diagnosis," she says, "but be patient with yourself as you make these changes. If your treatment plan allows you to work or go to school, continue to do so as much as you can. This helps to alleviate financial stress, but also can be a good way to remind yourself that you are still living life while being treated for cancer."

Do the things that bring you joy, no matter how small they are.

Little things can make a big difference, especially when you're facing a major health challenge. Dr. Lee suggests regularly scheduling activities that help you relax or make you happy, such as brief exercise(doctor permitting), engaging in spiritual practices, or getting together with friends. Even something as simple as scheduling a spa session or taking regular walks in nature can help you feel more connected to yourself.

For some people living with cancer, finding ways to address how their body is changing can help boost their well-being. That begins with understanding how cancer and cancer treatments can affect you physically and making adjustments. For example, chemo and radiation can cause dry hair, eyebrow loss, dry skin and discoloration, and changes to nails and cuticles. It can also cause side effects that make you feel ill or uncomfortable.

Finding people who can help you manage those side effects and changes is important, which is why Walgreens created their Feel More Like You service. Specially trained beauty consultants and pharmacists work with individuals with cancer to help manage the internal and external changes that they're experiencing, offering individualized guidance and recommendations to help them look and feel their best. The service is available at 3,000 Walgreens locations nationwide —and it's free.

Connect with others — especially others in the cancer community.

Cancer can feel isolating sometimes, but it doesn't have to be. Dr. Lee recommends staying in touch with supportive people and communities while you're going through treatment and recovery. That might include your friends and family, your professional or religious community or local cancer support groups.

Dr. Lee says that others who have cancer can be a great resource as you go through treatment. "Connect with other people with cancer," she says, "especially if they are going through or have been through a similar treatment. Their expert tips and insights can be helpful, validating, and supportive." The Cancer Support Community website has a host of resources for people looking for such connections.

Indulge people's offers to help.

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Caring for yourself sometimes means letting others care for you. Many people don't know what to do when a friend, family member, or coworker is diagnosed with cancer, but most people truly want to help. Dr. Lee suggests taking people up on their offers.

"If people offer to help, let them help, even if it is something simple like picking up groceries, taking care of your pets or helping to manage childcare," she says. "Not only does it help you, it helps your friends and family feel like they can do something to help you get through this."

Cancer diagnosis and treatment can be physically and emotionally draining, which is why self-care is so important.

There are also millions of people who understand what you're going through and who have the knowledge and skills to help you through your cancer journey. There are loads of people out there who you can call upon all along that journey.

But don't forget to do small things for yourself too. You might be surprised at how a simple thing like a meditation session or a trip to a museum or a new beauty routine can boost your spirits. A person with cancer is a person first and foremost, so as you treat the cancer, make sure you're caring for yourself as well, whatever that means to you.