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Dad takes 7-week paternity leave after his second child is born and is stunned by the results

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

There's a lot to be gleaned from this.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone…while also tending to a newborn. All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties. Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Democracy!

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.” This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear—his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

“It's unfortunately the end of my maternity —ahem— paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video, via voiceover. “I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”

He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memories—losing track of time to “watch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instance—he feels “guilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.

“[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.

You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.

@ustheremingtons I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON Açaí 👊 Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleave #dadtok #dadsover30 #dadlife #fyp #foryoupage #ditl #ditlvlog #maternityleave #newbornlife #newbornbaby #secondbaby #2under2 #toddlerlife ♬ original sound - Tiffany + Caleb

Why is he doing this? His wife, aka “the lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the housecleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.

Doing a fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his “fair share” was actually doing “the bare minimum.”

“It has taken multiple conversations — and many ongoing ones — to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home.”

Proof that having difficult conversations can lead to better understanding!

Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.

“I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says.

Definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.

Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

Photo by Raul Angel on Unsplash

This tip is a life saver.

Anyone who's had a baby knows how the sound of crying can feel like torture. Literally.

If you're lucky, you get a baby who rarely cries, but some babies spend weeks or months being screechy, colicky little fussbuckets whose unbearable cuteness is the only thing that keeps you from throwing them out the window. (If you haven't had one of those babies, that may sound horrifying, but if you know, you know.)

Sometimes babies cry because they're hungry, which is a problem easily fixed. Sometimes babies cry because their diaper is soiled—also an easy fix. Sometimes babies cry because they are clearly overtired—easy to fix on paper, but not always so simple in practice. Still, you at least know what's bugging them.

But sometimes babies cry and you can't figure out why. It might be gas, but they can't say, "My tummy hurts." Maybe they want to be held or cuddled, but not like that. Nope, not like that. Not like that, either. Perhaps they see all these big humans doing things they can't do and they're just mad about being a helpless baby. Who knows?

With fussy babies, the traditional "feed them, change them, rock them" advice often doesn't make a dent. The crying can make you feel like you're losing your mind, so if someone figures out a trick to get them to stop—even for a while—it feels like a godsend.

That's one reason this video of a dad demonstrating how he gets his baby to stop crying in 18 seconds flat has gone viral.

In a TikTok video, Jonathan, aka "Tuque Daddy," shows how he holds his 2-month-old son with one hand and wraps his little arms across his body in a "self hug" with the other. Then he holds one hand over the baby's arms and torso and the other cradling him under the diaper. A little gentle bobbing in this position and voila! Baby stops crying in 18 seconds.

Watch the magic happen (and just ignore the rogue "8" that gets stuck on the screen):

@tuquedaddy

Reply to @king.marcellius I wanna see people try!! Duet this and try if you can!! I wanna see y’all super heroes 🥰🥰🥰 #tuquedaddy #fypシ #parenting

See how even just a few seconds of that crying sends an electric jolt down your spine? It was enough for some commenters to say "Maybe I need to rethink wanting a baby." (My 13-year-old son came into the room while I was watching the video and said, "That's so annoying. How did you have babies?" Yep, that was you, dude. You're welcome. After the second viewing, he actually said, "Wow. Sorry.")

But then the unbearable cuteness comes in, doesn't it? Gracious, that little one's face at the end. It's amazing how quickly babies can take us from "Arrrrgh" to "Awwww."

And this daddy's gentle patience and reassurance is a beautiful cherry on top. "You alright, my boy?" So dang sweet.

Speaking of sweetness (and unbearable cuteness), check out Tuque Daddy's convo with his boy in another video:

@tuquedaddy

Paid actor 🤣 #tuquedaddy #fypシ #daddio #funny #baby #boy #dadsoftiktok @housecoatmommy

And as for the way he calmed the baby down? That's a legitimate technique that a "magician pediatrician" in Santa Monica, California shows the parents of his patients. Dr. Robert Hamilton has been treating babies and kids for more than three decades. His video describing "the hold" has been viewed more than 53 million times on YouTube and he has been featured in videos all around the world for his ability to almost instantly calm babies down.

If you have a baby in your life, give "the hold" a try the next time they're crying and see if the magic happens for you.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Family

Daughter explains brutal obituary she wrote for her father about his ‘bad parenting'

"Everything I was going to write was going to be a lie. He hated a liar..."

Photo by John Thomas on Unsplash

The last resting place for father Leslie Ray Charping.

Everyone is entitled to a few nice words at their funeral and, normally, this is a non-issue. Flaws can be ignored or overlooked for the sake of harmony and a peaceful, optimistic send-off.

But what if the flaws created too much damage and heartache to go without saying?

Sheila Smith made headlines in early 2017 with an obituary that was brutally honest. Brutal for the departed, her father Leslie Ray Charping, and brutal for the family that had to endure his life and death.

Here's the obituary in its entirety, taken from the website of Carnes Funeral Home:

Leslie Ray "Popeye" Charping was born in Galveston, Texas on November 20, 1942 and passed away January 30, 2017, which was 29 years longer than expected and much longer than he deserved. Leslie battled with cancer in his latter years and lost his battle, ultimately due to being the horses ass he was known for. He leaves behind 2 relieved children; a son Leslie Roy Charping and daughter, Shiela Smith along with six grandchildren and countless other victims including an ex wife, relatives, friends, neighbors, doctors, nurses and random strangers.

At a young age, Leslie quickly became a model example of bad parenting combined with mental illness and a complete commitment to drinking, drugs, womanizing and being generally offensive. Leslie enlisted to serve in the Navy, but not so much in a brave & patriotic way but more as part of a plea deal to escape sentencing on criminal charges. While enlisted, Leslie was the Navy boxing champion and went on to sufficiently embarrass his family and country by spending the remainder of his service in the Balboa Mental Health Hospital receiving much needed mental healthcare services.

Leslie was surprisingly intelligent, however he lacked ambition and motivation to do anything more than being reckless, wasteful, squandering the family savings and fantasizing about get rich quick schemes. Leslie's hobbies included being abusive to his family, expediting trips to heaven for the beloved family pets and fishing, which he was less skilled with than the previously mentioned. Leslie's life served no other obvious purpose, he did not contribute to society or serve his community and he possessed no redeeming qualities besides quick whited sarcasm which was amusing during his sober days.

With Leslie's passing he will be missed only for what he never did; being a loving husband, father and good friend. No services will be held, there will be no prayers for eternal peace and no apologizes to the family he tortured. Leslie's remains will be cremated and kept in the barn until "Ray", the family donkey's wood shavings run out. Leslie's passing proves that evil does in fact die and hopefully marks a time of healing and safety for all.

The obituary walks a fine line between uncloaked honesty and mean-spiritedness, repeatedly dipping into either side. If this obituary is to be believed (no person or account has publicly questioned or denounced this characterization), his family has a right to be both angry for his life and happy for his death. However, the controversy surrounding this obituary isn't the survivors' feelings, but their expression of them.

Sheila, speaking to The Michael Berry Show, a radio program, stood by the obituary she wrote, claiming it was an effort to heal, forget, and minimize the residual impact his death would have on their lives. To realize this, and to fulfill her late father's wishes, the obituary needed to be honest. She said to the show's host, "A week after he passed I sat down and began working on it. I was somewhat blocked and everything I was going to write was going to be a lie," she said. "He hated a liar and he would appreciate this.”

Speaking earlier to KTRK, Sheila said that those who are bothered by this or the notion of speaking ill of the dead, are fortunate to not understand. "I am happy for those that simply do not understand, this means you had good parent(s) -- please treasure what you have.”

She continued to say that whitewashing transgressions that are so endemic and undiscussed in the world, such as her father's issues with domestic violence and alcoholism, serves no greater good.

She concluded, "I apologize to anyone that my father hurt and I felt it would have been offensive to portray him as anything other than who he was. This obituary was intended to help bring closure because not talking about domestic violence doesn't make it go away!"


This article originally appeared six years ago.


A father tries on a shirt his 9-year-old son sewed for him.

There's always something very touching about receiving a gift from your child, especially when you know it's something that they really put their heart into creating. A video posted to TikTok by Aaron Gouveia shows that sometimes a child can give a gift that’s so surprising it’s almost too much to handle.

Gouveia, 43, is a Massachusetts father of three who posts videos as “Daddy Files” on TikTok about the joys and challenges of family life. On March 26, 2023, he posted a video featuring his son Sam, 9, that was so heartwarming it has received over 12.4 million views.


According to Today.com, Sam is a neurodivergent fourth-grader who's been teased by classmates for wearing nail polish. His father believes he struggles to get along with kids his age because they "don't understand him or his interests."

A year ago, Sam began taking a sewing class at school, and in the video, he showed his dad the blue patterned shirt he made for him.

“I got a shirt that I made at sewing class,” Sam said, holding it in his hands.

“You made that?” his dad asked, astonished.

@daddyfiles

Sam made me a shirt! Wow. #sewing #sewingtiktok #samsewgood #boyswhosew #parenting #raisingboys

“I did the buttons, and I did the button holes,” Sam continued. “I got some help, but I did most of it by myself.”

Gouveia then tried his son's creation on and looked at himself in the mirror. The shirt fit him perfectly. He seemed astonished that his young son was able to make something so well-crafted with so little experience. Gouveia pored over all of the details of the shirt, especially the ‘70s-style lapel.

“The collar is so unique,” he noted. He was also impressed by the box pleat on the back of the shirt that Sam admitted was “hard” to stitch together.

At the end of the video, Sam said he had his father’s style in mind while designing the shirt.

“Why did you choose this pattern?” Gouveia asked.

“Why I chose the pattern is, it just looks cool to me. It stands out to me,” Sam replied. “And it goes with jeans like you usually wear.”

The proud father then asked if he could wear the shirt out to dinner that night.

“Uh yeah,” Sam replied, beaming with pride.

In a follow-up video posted on March 27, Sam thanks people for the support he’s received and says that he’s now taking orders for shirts and dresses. The transformation in Sam is delightful because he was a little insecure when he first handed the shirt to his father. But after the overwhelming support he’s gotten in the 92,000 comments the TikTok video received, he’s excited to share his talents with the world.

@daddyfiles

Bus stop interview with my celebrity child. 🤣 Good news: Your overwhelming support made him open to doing commissions! 🪡 Thank you for 8.5M views! #sewing #sewingtiktok #samsewgood #sewingforyoupage #parenting #fashion #fashiontiktok

“That caught me off guard,” Gouveia told Today.com. “He hasn’t wanted to make things for people. You can even see in my first video, he's nervous. He has a lot of anxiety and doesn’t want to disappoint anyone. But after reading all the positive comments, he was like, ‘Well, I can do it!’”


This article originally appeared two years ago.