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Wellness

Why some families discovered an unexpected love for homeschooling during the pandemic

Why some families discovered an unexpected love for homeschooling during the pandemic
Photo by Jessica Lewis on Unsplash

When schools shut down in the U.S. in the spring of 2020, parents, teachers, and students alike were thrown into uncharted territory. Now, more than a year later, families are finding themselves navigating murky waters once again as the Delta variants surges and schools and local governments grapple with mitigation measures.

Throughout all of this, millions of families have taken the plunge into homeschooling. For some, that meant helping their kids through virtual learning through the public school system, but others decided to ditch the system altogether.

In fact, a Census Bureau report found that the number of U.S. households that reported homeschooling kids doubled from March 2020 to September 2020, from 5.4% to 11.1%. The jump for Black households was even more significant, from 3.3% to 16.1%. With schools starting up this fall in the midst of rising COVID infections, those numbers could grow even higher.

While some parents are choosing to homeschool because they feel like it's the safest choice, some parents tried homeschooling during the pandemic and found that they and their kids enjoyed it far more than they expected to.


"Homeschooling was something I always thought my kids would benefit from for many reasons, but I could never wrap my head around how to actually do it and the fear that I would fail as their teacher," Jennifer G., who homeschooled last year and decided to continue this year says. "Covid gave me the push I needed to put my fears aside and dive in."

"We struggled at times last year and it took a while to find a good routine," she adds. "But overall, we learned so much about ourselves, about how we function together as a family, and how to make learning fun. We went on fun educational field trips as often as possible, cooked lots of new recipes together to learn about the world, experienced adventures through reading, & grew together as a family. We are looking forward to homeschooling again and having the flexibility to learn what we want how we want. I never imagined learning could be so colorful!"

Jenny S. says that she's wanted to homeschool for years but her husband and oldest child were never on board. However, due to COVID, she began homeschooling her third and sixth graders last year.

"My 3rd grader THRIVED," she says. "When the world shut down we noticed some behaviors that led to us finally figuring out what caused the sensory processing disorder we knew she had since she was an infant. So, we knew she'd be home again this year. She's so ahead of her peers, I didn't want boredom to add to the problems she already faced in a classroom. She has also learned that schools white-wash history, and boldly proclaims that she was lied to when asked why she likes homeschool better. She never wants to go back. She's been able to truly dive into her interests, and has learned snd retained more than she ever has before."

Her oldest has chosen to homeschool for seventh grade for consistency. "While he misses his friends, he knows this year will be better, socialization-wise," she says. "He is also ahead of most of his peers, and loves that he can move at his own pace. We love the flexibility, fewer hours, and the outdoor time it has allowed us. Without evening homework, I still get hours to get my work done (I mostly work from home), have more time for prepping dinner, and just hanging out as a family."

Many parents I spoke to were surprised to find that their children excelled learning from home.

Judi S. spent last school year at home with her 10-year-old grandson while his parents worked, helping him with virtual learning through the school. She says has mild ADHD and he was able to be more kinetic at home, which helped him focus better. But she also acknowledged that that wasn't the case for all kids.

"Some kids did well, some struggled, and some simply checked out," she said. "I wish that families still had the option of virtual learning as well as homeschooling and in-person because children have such diverse learning styles. And I dread the return of all those soul-sucking hours of homework. I think a lot of parents have discovered how arbitrary and mostly unnecessary homework actually is. We always suspected and now we know."

Homeschooling isn't a magic bullet, of course. Not all parents can make it work, and not all parents should even try to make it work. Having come from a teaching background and homeschooled my own kids for almost two decades, I can attest to the fact that it's not for everyone. And for many families, it's simply not an option.

At the same time, the pandemic has provided a prime opportunity to give it a shot for those who want to. Much has been made about the mental health impact of school closures, as well as the kids who will fall through the cracks because of needs that get met at school. Those problems are real and those concerns are legitimate—however, a lot of kids really do fare better academically, emotionally, and socially learning outside of a traditional classroom setting.

The fears and reservations that kept many families from trying homeschooling have been trumped by the fears of viral spread and reservations about kids' safety in the classroom. Though the circumstances that got us to this point are undesirable, there's never been a more opportune time to experiment with different modes and models of learning. Schooling has been turned topsy turvy anyway, so why not try something entirely new if you have the desire and the ability?

The educational landscape is shifting quickly and there are more resources for learning than ever before. While broad questions about equity and accessibility loom large across that landscape, parents shouldn't be afraid to explore the various options that are out there. The opportunity to reexamine what learning looks like for individual kids has been laid at our feet with the pandemic blowing up school as we know it. Might as well take advantage of it while we have the chance.


Race & Ethnicity

Woman's rare antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow' for heart-wrenching reason

"I just love you for bringing it in and thank you so much for making me so sad."

Woman's antique turned away from 'Antique Roadshow'

People come by things in all sorts of ways. Sometimes you find something while at a garage sale and sometimes it's because a family member passed away and it was left to them. After coming into possession of the item, the owner may be tempted to see how much it's worth so it can be documented for insurance purposes or sold.

On a recent episode of BBC One's Antique Roadshow, a woman brought an ivory bracelet to be appraised. Interestingly enough, the expert didn't meet this rare find with excitement, but appeared somber. The antique expert, Ronnie Archer-Morgan carefully explains the purpose of the bracelet in what appears to be a tense emotional exchange.

There would be no appraisal of this antique ivory bracelet adorned with beautiful script around the circumference. Archer-Morgan gives a brief disclaimer that he and the Antique Roadshow disapprove of the trade of ivory, though that was not his reason for refusing the ivory bangle.

"This ivory bangle here is not about trading in ivory, it’s about trading in human life, and it’s probably one of the most difficult things that I’ve ever had to talk about. But talk about it we must," Archer-Morgan says.

Ronnie Archer-Morgan, Antiques Roadshow, BBC, antiques, ivoryRonnie Archer-Morgan on an episode of the BBC's Antiques RoadshowImage via Antqiues Roadshow


Turns out the woman had no idea what she had in her possession as she purchased it from an estate sale over 30 years before. One of the elderly residents she cared for passed away and the woman found the ivory bracelet among the things being sold. Finding the bangle particularly intriguing with the fancy inscription around it, she decided to purchase the unique piece of jewelry.

After explaining that his great-grandmother was once enslaved in Nova Scotia, Canada before being returned to Sierra Leone, Archer-Morgan concluded he could not price the item.

Antiques Roadshow, BBC, Ronnie Archer MorganRonnie Archer-Morgan holds the ivory bracelet he refused to valueImage via Antiques Roadshow/BBC

"I just don’t want to value it. I do not want to put a price on something that signifies such an awful business. But the value is in the lessons that this can tell people," he tells the woman.

In the end the woman leaves without knowing the monetary value of the item but with a wealth of knowledge she didn't have before visiting. Now she can continue to share the significance of the antique with others. Watch the full explanation below:


- YouTubewww.youtube.com

This article originally appeared last year.

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves. Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote: "When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"

1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”


advice, kids, parents, moms, affirmations, good adviceA person holds an affirmation cardImage via Canva

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.


3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.


5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.




Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Heroes

Nazis demanded to know if ‘The Hobbit’ author J.R.R. Tolkien was Jewish. His response was legendary.

J.R.R. Tolkien had no problem telling his German publishing house exactly what he thought.

J.R.R. Tolkien didn't mince words when asked his opinion on Nazis

In 1933, Adolf Hitler handed the power of Jewish cultural life in Nazi Germany to his chief propagandist, Joseph Goebbels. Goebbels established a team of of regulators that would oversee the works of Jewish artists in film, theater, music, fine arts, literature, broadcasting, and the press.

Goebbels' new regulations essentially eliminated Jewish people from participating in mainstream German cultural activities by requiring them to have a license to do so.

This attempt by the Nazis to purge Germany of any culture that wasn't Aryan in origin led to the questioning of artists from outside the country.

J.R.R. Tolkien, Lord of the Rings, Nazi, Nazis, book burning, censorship, The HobbitA Nazi book burning in GermanyImage via Wikicommons

In 1938, English author J. R. R. Tolkien and his British publisher, Stanley Unwin, opened talks with Rütten & Loening, a Berlin-based publishing house, about a German translation of his recently-published hit novel, "The Hobbit."

Privately, according to "1937 The Hobbit or There and Back Again," Tolkien told Unwin he hated Nazi "race-doctrine" as "wholly pernicious and unscientific." He added he had many Jewish friends and was considering abandoning the idea of a German translation altogether.

lord of the rings hobbits GIFGiphy

The Berlin-based publishing house sent Tolkien a letter asking for proof of his Aryan descent. Tolkien was incensed by the request and gave his publisher two responses, one in which he sidestepped the question, another in which he handled in '30s-style with pure class.

In the letter sent to Rütten & Loening, Tolkien notes that Aryans are of Indo-Iranian "extraction," correcting the incorrect Nazi aumption that Aryans come from northern Europe. He cuts to the chase by saying that he is not Jewish but holds them in high regard. "I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people," Tolkien wrote.

Tolkien also takes a shot at the race policies of Nazi Germany by saying he's beginning to regret his German surname. "The time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride," he writes.

Bryan Cranston Mic Drop GIFGiphy

Here's the letter sent to Rütten & Loening:

25 July 1938 20 Northmoor Road, Oxford
Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter. I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-Iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people.

My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject — which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearing whatsoever on the merits of my work or its sustainability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.
I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and
remain yours faithfully,

J. R. R. Tolkien



J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, Lord of the Rings, Nazis, Nazi, Germany The letter J.R.R. Tolkien wrote to his German publishersImage via Letters of Note

This article originally appeared four years ago.

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

You'll never get "nanna toe" out of your head.

Being a parent means wearing many hats—that of a personal chef, live entertainer, chauffeur, therapist…and it looks like we can even add interpreter to that list.

In an all-too-relatable video posted to her TikTok, a mom named Amberlie Allen shared a series of recent texts she received from her husband, where she was asked to decode the head scratching requests their toddler was making.

Can’t really blame dad for being stumped on some of these. For example, the first request: “nanna toe,” which apparently means “banana toast.”

But it’s not even banana toast really, as Allen texted that it’s actually “Ritz crackers with peanut butter and banana slices on top.” There’s even an additional caveat to this—their kiddo will eat only the banana slices of said Ritz cracker, then need those small crackers to be replenished by more banana slices. Talk about a specific order.

banana slices and peanut butter beside a dish of peanut butterSounds like a complicated snacktimePhoto credit: Canva

But wait, there’s more. This one is even more puzzling. When dad asked what their son would like to watch, he replied “1 2 3 4.” Huh?!

Allen replied that he probably wanted to watch Toy Story, and just couldn't “decide which one.” Honestly that’s some next level translation.

gif of Woody and Buzz from Toy StoryMom is translating with style. media2.giphy.com

Lastly, Allen’s husband wrote, “‘I think he’s where horn go.’ What does that mean?”

Using her sleuthing skills, Allen asked if they were watching "monster trucks." When she got the confirmation, she explained that he must be wanting the monster truck with a special horn, which was located in her bedside table. Moms are truly magical.

Down in the comments, so many shared their own similar experiences, particularly when it comes to movies and other bits of pop culture.

“The other day I had to decipher that ‘Judy and the Cops’ meant Zootopia.”

“My husband called me one morning and screamed ‘She wants zombie Taylor Swift? What does that even mean?’ I told him she meant the ‘Look what You Made Me Do’ music video.”

“I once nannied for a girl that wanted to watch ‘bleh bleh bleh’…it was Hotel Transylvania.”

gif from Hotel TransylvaniaDrac does say, "Bleh bleh bleh."media3.giphy.com

“Mine asks for ‘bud light’ aka Toy Story (Buzz Lightyear)”

Interestingly enough, the science suggests that parents are hardwired to understand what their toddler is communicating, even if it makes no logical sense. This intuition develops through consistent interaction and observation, which is why Allen, and many moms in general, might be a bit more attuned. After all, they’ve been interpreting their child since its first cry.

That’s not to say dads and secondary caregivers can’t become fluent in baby speak—like most things, it just takes practice. And you know that this dad is never, ever going to forget how to make the perfect “nanna toe” after learning what it means. So, let’s hear it both for the parents who decode, and the parents doing their best to figure out what all the gibberish means.