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Modern Families

Exhausted mom posted a letter begging her husband for help. And then it went viral.

An open letter by Celeste Yvonne shows overwhelmed mothers how to ask for support.

viral, parenting, motherhood, communication, relationships, blogger
Photo via Celeste Yvonne, used with permission.

Celeste Yvonne wrote a letter to her husband asking for help.

Taking care of a newborn baby is mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. For the first four months (at least!), new parents have to dedicate every part of themselves to caring for this young life.

There's little time for self-care during this chaotic period, let alone a moment to be fully present with a partner.

A blogger who goes by the name Celeste Yvonne was the mother of a toddler and a newborn and wrote a revealing open letter to her husband asking for more help with their children.

It went viral in 2018 because it paints a very real picture of what it feels like to be a mother who feels stuck doing everything. And the message still resonated deeply today.

It's also important because it gives specific ways for parents to support each other.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren't expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I'm not sure I want to know what a week's worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can't I?

I don't know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don't remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I'm just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I'm going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I'm human, and I'm running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone's lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it's hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it's just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I've scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I've got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids' naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you're grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I'm at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it's assumed I'll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you're out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it's not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn't need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I'm waving a white flag and admitting I'm only human. I'm telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I've been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let's face it: you need me, too."

After the video went viral, Yvonne filmed another thanking everyone who read it and addressed the biggest question it raised: Did the letter work?

"Yes, absolutely. Communication works — most of the time," Yvonne said with a laugh. "I told [my husband] all the stuff I'm doing on the back end that he had no idea about. And then he told me all the concerns and the stress he's been having as a new father. Things that I had no idea about. It was so eye-opening, and I'm so grateful for it.”

Watch the YouTube video below:

This article originally appeared on 3.20.18

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Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

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Pets

Sorry, Labradors. After 31 years, America has a new favorite dog.

The American Kennel Club has crowned a new favorite.

via Pixabay

A sad-looking Labrador Retriever

The sweet-faced, loveable Labrador Retriever is no longer America’s favorite dog breed. The breed best known for having a heart of gold has been replaced by the smaller, more urban-friendly French Bulldog.

According to the American Kennel Club, for the past 31 years, the Labrador Retriever was America’s favorite dog, but it was eclipsed in 2022 by the Frenchie. The rankings are based on nearly 716,500 dogs newly registered in 2022, of which about 1 in 7 were Frenchies. Around 108,000 French Bulldogs were recorded in the U.S. in 2022, surpassing Labrador Retrievers by over 21,000.

The French Bulldog’s popularity has grown exponentially over the past decade. They were the #14 most popular breed in 2012, and since then, registrations have gone up 1,000%, bringing them to the top of the breed popularity rankings.

The AKC says that the American Hairless Terrier, Gordon Setter, Italian Greyhound and Anatolian Shepherd Dog also grew in popularity between 2021 and 2022.

The French Bulldog was famous among America’s upper class around the turn of the 20th century but then fell out of favor. Their resurgence is partly based on several celebrities who have gone public with their Frenchie love. Leonardo DiCaprio, Megan Thee Stallion, Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, Reese Witherspoon and Lady Gaga all own French Bulldogs.

The breed earned a lot of attention as show dogs last year when a Frenchie named Winston took second place at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show and first in the National Dog Show.

The breed made national news in early 2021 when Gaga’s dog walker was shot in the chest while walking two of her Frenchies in a dog heist. He recovered from his injuries, and the dogs were later returned.

They’ve also become popular because of their unique look and personalities.

“They’re comical, friendly, loving little dogs,” French Bull Dog Club of America spokesperson Patty Sosa told the AP. She said they are city-friendly with modest grooming needs and “they offer a lot in a small package.”

They are also popular with people who live in apartments. According to the AKC, Frenchies don’t bark much and do not require a lot of outdoor exercise.

The French Bulldog stands out among other breeds because it looks like a miniature bulldog but has large, expressive bat-like ears that are its trademark feature. However, their popularity isn’t without controversy. “French bulldogs can be a polarizing topic,” veterinarian Dr. Carrie Stefaniak told the AP.

american kennel club, french bulldog, most popular dog

An adorable French Bulldog

via Pixabay

French Bulldogs have been bred to have abnormally large heads, which means that large litters usually need to be delivered by C-section, an expensive procedure that can be dangerous for the mother. They are also prone to multiple health problems, including skin, ear, and eye infections. Their flat face means they often suffer from respiratory problems and heat intolerance.

Frenchies are also more prone to spine deformations and nerve pain as they age.

Here are the AKC’s top ten most popular dog breeds for 2022.

1 French Bulldogs

2 Labrador Retrievers

3 Golden Retrievers

4 German Shepherd Dogs

5 Poodles

6 Bulldogs

7 Rottweilers

8 Beagles

9 Dachshunds

10 German Shorthaired Pointers


This article originally appeared last year.

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Heroes

Dad who can't swim rescues his toddler when their car is engulfed by flood waters

Nearby homeowners took the pair in to help them.

Photo credit: Canva

Dad who can't swim saves toddler from car during flood

Flooding can be extremely dangerous, especially flash flooding that seems to come out of nowhere during a torrential downpour. That type of flooding can be deceiving because it can take over roads so quickly that you don't realize it's flooded as badly as it is. Navigating flooding roads with your young child in the backseat is a recipe for a panic attack if things go wrong.

During a particularly nasty downpour, a new dad found himself in a stressful situation with his 11-month-old toddler while attempting to make their way home. Andre Randles lives in England with his partner Paige Newsome and their child Luca. The town had been getting snow and pretty significant rain which led to Randles being sent on another route due to road closures.

But the road closures sent him on a course that resulted in driving straight into a flooded area with no way to turn around. The water covered road he and his baby were on had an unexpected and sudden dip in it which resulted in the vehicle sinking quickly. Randles didn't have time to think, just act and it's a good thing, too. The father of one doesn't know how to swim and the realization that he and his child could drown if swimming were required may have caused him to freeze with fear.


"As soon as I saw danger, saw the water coming into the car and we were no longer floating and starting to sink, something switched in me. I thought I needed to get out and get Luca out," Randles tells the BBC.

That's exactly what he did. Randles rolled down the car windows climbing out before pulling his baby out through the back window in water that came to the man's chest. It was mere seconds before the entire car was almost completely submerged in the flood waters.

Giphy

Randles recalls to SkyNews, "I saw the water rising and it just clicked in my head I need to get me and my baby out of here safe so I wound down the window, climbed out wound down his window pulled him out and the water was about chest high. So I carried him above my head to make sure he hasn't touched any of the water or anything to try to keep him dry and warm."

The deep flood waters took Randles by surprise as he shares with SkyNews that he didn't feel like it was raining heavily at the time and had driven in much heavier rain. Pictures of the vehicle began to spread on social media which prompted Newsome to comment on one of them identifying the family's vehicle.

fathers day cute baby GIFGiphy

"This is our car, such a scary experience for my partner having to pull our 11 month old baby whilst the water was flooding into the car," the young mom reveals. "Calderdale Council need to sort this out ASAP! They have been getting notified about this part of Woodhouse Road multiple times by the owners of the house next to wear our car is parked."

The entire ordeal terrified the young family, "just imagine if my partner didn’t think fast enough to get the windows open to climb out and then get my son out. I dread to think," Newsome shares in another comment about her car.


The area where this happened is prone to flooding according to residents interviewed by news stations local to them, and residents who comment on the Calderdale Council Facebook page. They've been asking for something to do be done to address the excessive flooding but so far they haven't had much luck. Thankfully for Randles, he was able to escape the flooding and seek temporary refuge with a nearby resident who allowed them to get dry while waiting for rescue vehicles to reach them.

"To think that I could've actually lost them both makes me a bit emotional, yeah it's really scary. It's just a horrible thing to think about isn't it," Newsome reflects to the outlet.

Horrible indeed, hopefully the family never has to experience such a close call like this again and baby Luca will remain none the wiser.

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Golden Years

13 side-by-side portraits of people over 100 with their younger selves

These powerful before-and-after photos reveal just how beautiful aging can be.

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time. In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.


1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101

All photos by Jan Langer.

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.

2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.

3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.

4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.

5. Marie Fejfarová, at age 101

Fejfarová burned all her material memories, including old photographs, when she decided to move to a long-term care facility. She lived a dramatic life, hiding from the Nazis and then the Russians, but eventually she was able to travel the world with her husband. Her experiences show there's no such thing as too late in life to start a new chapter.

6. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.

7. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

8. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.

9. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.

10. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.

11. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.

12. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.

13. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.

The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2010 U.S. Census reported only 53,364 centenarians, which is only 0.19% of the population of people 70 years or older.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.


This article originally appeared seven years ago.



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Joy

Oldest Home Depot employee in North America shares the key to living a happy life

A beautiful reminder to "treat the world like your family."

Photo credit: Canva

There's always a good reason to be kind.

We’ve all seen those videos where an influencer, posing as a regular joe, asks a person for help, and when that person does say yes to helping, the influencer repays that kindness with money, tickets to a game or some other amazing surprise.

This is the content bread and butter for Youtuber Zachery Dereniowski, otherwise known as @mdmotivator, one of the main catalysts of this philanthropic viral trend. Dereniowski has tons of videos capturing the exact moment when unsuspecting strangers had their lives changed forever, all because their generosity was recognized.

This time, our recipient ends up being the giver twice, thanks to the hard earned wisdom they depart.

In the video, Dereniowski appears at a Home Depot, and asks the friendly employee there, David Frank, and asks him for a dollar to purchase a nail since he “left his wallet at home” (this is one of Dereniowski’s signature setups).

After admitting he doesn't have any money from him, Frank asks Dereniowski what he needs the bolt for. When Dereniowski replies that it’s for his son’s desk, Frank not only decides he goes to pay for the bolt on his credit card, he marches back to the bolt aisle to select the right one for the job.

“[Why] are you gonna help me?” Dereniowski asks. To which Frank replies, “well you’re stuck and you have a problem, so we’re gonna try to help you.” Plain and simple.

It’s then we learn that only a week ago, an entire section of the Home Depot was cleared to celebrate Frank’s 100th birthday. He even made headlines as “The oldest Home Depot employee in North America.”

Dereniowski then asks Frank, “what’s the key to living a long, healthy life?”

“Treat the world like your family,” says Frank. “Be nice to them. Be sensible. That’s all.”


@mdmotivator “I am 100 years old” 🥹❤️ #kindness #homedepot #help #money #support #surprise #wholesome ♬ original sound - Zachery Dereniowski

Yep, we pretty much just got a Mister Rogers moment IRL. But Franks’s words are more than just platitudes. Research has indeed indicated that kindness can lead to longevity by giving us a sense of purpose, helping us connect to others and (perhaps most science-y of all) keeping inflammation levels down. But honestly, no amount of supporting evidence can really compare to how good we feel when being kind, compassionate and generous.

Clearly sticking to his message, when Dereniowski admits he did actually have his wallet with him and hands over $1000, Frank says that he’ll use the money to help another stranger. After he recovers from being stunned, that is.

Aside from getting a surprise grand, interactions like these are all in a day’s work for Frank. In his interview with Windsor Star, the centenarian shared that he enjoys his job because he gets to meet people and help solve their problems, saying “it keeps me busy and in the loop.” While there are certainly pros and cons to working after retirement age, this certainly shows how keeping busy can be beneficial. Not just busy, but mission oriented.

As for whether or not Frank plans to quit anytime soon, it seems he’s prioritizing “staying active.”

“What would I do? Sit at home and end up getting blisters on my rear end?” he told the Windsor star. “No way. I would never want to (spend) it that way.”

That’s the spirit, Frank. Here’s to another go round the sun.

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Joy

A man left a note after backing into a woman's car. Their text exchanges are peak wholesome.

Humans are just wonderful sometimes.

Photo credit: Canva, @martusameri/Reddit

Woman's reaction to a note on her car has people smiling.

People leave notes on strangers' cars for a host of reasons. Sometimes it's an anonymous compliment or word of encouragement. Sometimes it's a complaint about someone's parking. Sometimes it's a sales pitch for a car wash or legal services. Sometimes it's an apology for a woopsie—opening a car door or losing control of a shopping cart, dinging a stranger's vehicle.

Often the note is where the communication ends—but not always. When a man left a note on a woman's car after accidentally backing into it, she responded to him by text and their exchange has people feeling a bit better about humanity.

The exchange took place in early November 2024, the night after the incident, and it begins:

"Hey Dan this is Katie—I got your note on my car last night. Honestly I don't really see any damage—maybe the license plate is slightly crunched? Did you just back straight into the front? I don't see anything else that wasn't already there. Unless my bumper randomly falls off while I'm driving today I think you're good. 🙂 Thanks so much for leaving the note, I really appreciate it."

First of all, Dan could have bailed after bumping her car and not left a note at all. Katie could have ignored the note and went on her merry way since she wasn't bothered by it. Or worse, she could have bilked Dan or his insurance company for money. Instead, we get to see two strangers in a wholesome exchange characterized by goodwill, good faith and good feels all around.

Dan replied back: "Hi! I think I backed into your driver door. It wasn't too hard but it was late/dark so I really couldn't see much but it looked like I may have dented the door. I wasn't sure so I just wanted to leave my number."

He wasn't even sure if he had damaged her car, but he left a note anyway.

That's some seriously good karma there, Dan.

Katie reassured him that it was already dented, to which Dan replied, "lol 🫣 thank goodness I was like OH NO WHAT HAVE I DONE."

Three cry laugh emojis from Katie, followed by, "You're totally fine. This car has 415,000 miles on it literally as long as it runs I do not care. Hope you have a great Sunday!"

Dan shared that he had gone to the liquor store on the corner to get a pen so he could leave the note because he felt terrible about the dent. "Thanks for being so great!" he wrote, adding that her car and she were "amazing."

"Omg haha that's so nice! No worries at all," Katie responded. Then they wished one another a wonderful day. Let's just sit here for a moment and relish in how lovely and wholesome that whole thing was.

People reacted by sharing similar stories of car incidents gone right.

"I had a kid leave me a note yeeeears ago on an old Chevy Malibu I was driving, and it said he’d hit my car and dented it, and to call him. I called him and said I couldn’t tell him which dent was his 😂 but that he was a good kid. We had a nice laugh together and I still think about him. I hope he still has those ethics and has had a wonderful life."

"Once in college I was driving my beater 1995 Ford Escort during a snowstorm. I slid out of a parking lot right into a car slowly traveling down the snowy street - totally my fault. I jumped out and immediately apologized profusely. He was driving something equally beater-y, like a mid-90s civic or something. After a few seconds surveying the damage, he just said 'Look, I drive a piece of shit, you drive a piece of shit. I could really care less about this honestly, so let's just move along.' We shook hands and went about our days. 10/10 best fender-bender outcome."

"Same thing a few years ago with my 2004 Explorer at a university parking lot. Someone left me a note saying they hit my car, but not which part. Spent 15 minutes trying to tell which scratch/dent was new before I texted them to not worry about it and thanks for the honesty."

Some people tried to spin the exchange into a rom-com style meet cute, but Dan clarified in the comments that he is married. ( In fact, his wife was in the car with him when it happened—they were out on a date because of course they were.)

This simple exchange between two genuinely good people with nothing to gain from being kind hit people right in their humanity.

"You sir are what we need more of in society. Good old fashioned honest person with integrity. Good karma was returned to you for being honest."

"She's a real one, too! She could have easily taken that omission about the door and milked it for cash money or put you through an insurance claim. Both of y'all seem like excellent people. This exchange really did make me smile!"

"This short little back in forth they provided us restored my faith in humanity. Both just being honest and chill."

"What a nice post. Many people would see this as an opportunity to get money or the car fixed even if not OPs fault. But make OP pay. Love the thoughtfulness and honesty of Dan. And love the thoughtfulness and honesty of Katie!"

"Two lovely people. As you get older you learn to love these types of interactions with people more and more."

In a world where bad behavior goes viral, here's to Dan and Katie for reminding us that people are so often genuinely kind and honest.

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