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Swim coach's reaction when toddler tries to kiss him is a masterclass in teaching boundaries

People are impressed with how expertly and professionally he handled it.

Representative photo credit: Canva

It takes a village, as they say.

People who work with children—teachers, coaches, mentors—are often beloved by the kids they serve, especially if they're good at what they do. Those caring adult relationships are important in a child's life, but they can also lead to some awkward situations as kids learn appropriate ways to show affection to different people. A baby might cover their mother's face with slobbery kisses, but other adults may not appreciate that very much. As kids grow, they learn what's okay and not okay, not just from their parents but from the village of adults in their lives as well.

A perfect example of what that looks like was shared in a video showing a swim instructor at the end of a swim lesson with a toddler who hugged him and then went in for a kiss. The hug was expected and welcome—"Thank you, Mila. I love Mila hugs!" the swim coach said. But when she started to go in for a kiss, he immediately pulled back, gently saying, "No, no kissy. No kissy 'cause I'm coach. You only kiss Mommy and Daddy, okay?"

The little girl looked a bit dejected and started to cry, and he quickly gave her an acceptable alternative. "Okay, hey! High five!" he said, while holding up his hand. "High five 'cause we're all done!" She calmed right down, gave him a high five, and then he moved on to clean-up time.

Watch:


Teaching boundaries to children
byu/alucard_axel inMadeMeSmile


His expression at the end of the video says it all—he knew that was a teachable moment that could have gone very wrong, but he handled it with clear professionalism and toddler-friendly expertise. People loved seeing such a great example:

"So sweet... I sometimes have young clients who want to give kisses and it's so cute but you do have to tell them "no" because it's an important boundary to learn. Not everyone wants kisses!"

"On top of knowing not to do it to other people, it also teaches them for themselves that other people shouldn’t be just giving them kisses."

"The kid is absolutely adorable but that coach is on another level. Creating the boundaries while keeping it cool and recording the whole thing so the parents are extremely comfortable. Dude is setting a hell of example."

"It sounds like he's got a good balance between encouraging her growth and setting appropriate boundaries. Kids can be incredibly affectionate, and it's important to gently guide them in understanding what's suitable."

Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New GirlGiphy

"I also think it’s important for the parents’ comfort that a grown man swimming with their young girl isn’t overstepping boundaries/being predatory. From the outside looking in, it’s hard to know for sure when something is innocent or not. It’s better to just stay away from those situations as a whole."

"The little girls I used to babysit always tried to give me kisses (they were between 2-5) and I had to tell them that I’m not related to you, so you can’t kiss me. You can hi-five or hug me, but no kisses! They still give me running tackle hugs when they see me!"

A few commenters pointed out that some cultures see kissing as totally acceptable, as it's frequently used as a friendly greeting for people of all ages and genders. But even in those cultures, boundaries based on relationships and contexts are important to learn, and it's helpful when adults help teach those lessons so it doesn't all fall on the parents.

Well done, Coach. Thanks for giving us all such a fabulous example to follow.

This article originally appeared in January

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Education

Librarian exposes how book bans can happen without us noticing

“They’re counting on you not noticing."

Photo credit: Canva

"It’s easy to not see when something that’s that small disappears.”

Last year, the American Library Association (ALA) reported 938 attempts to challenge 4,240 unique titles in schools and libraries across the US. With statistics like that, one might imagine vacant, empty shelves with only a handful of titles available.

But in reality, book bans are much more insidious. Just take it from a librarian herself. Hayley DeRoche, known by her Instagram and TikTok followers as Sad Beige, showed just how easy it is for censorship, as impactful as it is, to go completely unnoticed.

In her video, DeRoche shows an unassuming bookshelf in her library, with a display of random books. She then cuts, asking if the viewer notices anything different. (remember those games?)

And while, sure, one can tell there is a difference, it’s hard to detect how different it is. Turns out, eight books were removed. Just like that.

“Did you notice?” she asks. “They’re counting on people not noticing that the books that they don’t want you to access are gone.”

@sadbeige Replying to @ShaniaTwang #bannedbooks #library #booktok ♬ original sound - SadBeige

This somewhat counters that narrative many of us have in our heads that only the very controversial titles are possibly on the chopping block. Some books we’ve never heard of might disappear. Meaning our kids lose the opportunity to stumble upon new ideas that open them up in unexpected ways…which, isn’t that, at least partially, what books exist for in the first place?

And then is the point DeRoche drove home in her clip, saying “You won’t notice at first because when you look around [a library] can you see specifically what books are on the shelves? Can you really see what ideas are being presented here? No! You can’t. It’s easy to not see when something that’s that small disappears.”

@sadbeige they don’t want you to have beans #greenscreen ♬ original sound - SadBeige

She went on to say that “they’re counting on you not noticing. They’re counting on you not going to council meetings where they are talking about these things. They’re counting on everyone being so overwhelmed that the public library facing book bans falls off people’s radars.”

Overwhelm is certainly what many librarians are experiencing, DeRoche noted, explaining how many eventually acquiesce to censorship demands, “in part to save themselves from having to completely disappear from the community entirely.” Some states, like Texas and Alabama, are creating laws in which librarians even face prosecution for providing certain works of literature to students, titles like The Odyssey, Catcher in the Rye, Brave New World, and One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.

@sadbeige I forget sometimes that not everyone knows this!! So quick overview if you’re new to library advocacy or want to share with folks who are ❤️📚🫡 #library #bannedbooks #librariansoftiktok #educational #educationalpurposes #explainer #greenscreensticker ♬ original sound - SadBeige

Point being: librarians and teachers are doing their best, but that effort can only go so far. As DeRoche warned, those putting these rules in place are banking on the fact that parents won’t be proactively working to stop it.

Here are a few ways to do so, courtesy of Pen America:

1. Contact your state and federal elected officials to sign the pledge: #DontCensorAmerica.

2. Send a postcard to an author or librarian, or share your story on social media with the hashtag #FreeTheBooks

3.Notify PEN America if book bans are happening in your community

4. Participate in School Board Elections

Text “READ” to 26797 for more information from Let America Read and to register to vote.

5. Attend a School or Library Board Meeting

They even have tips on what to say at school board meetings, as well as a sample letter to share with a school or library.

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Education

Mom calls out teacher for giving her son a 'zero' for not providing class with school supplies

Her viral video sparked a debate as to whether or not providing school supplies should be mandatory for parents.

@shanittanicole/TikTok

A zero grade for not providing school supplies?

The debate as to whether or not parents should supply classroom supplies is not new. But as prices continue to rise, parents are growing more baffled as to how they can be expected by teachers to provide all the various glue sticks, colored pencils, rulers, and other various items the incoming students might need.

What’s even more perplexing, however, is penalizing the children of parents who won’t (or can’t) provide them. This was the case for Shanitta Nicole, who discovered her son received a zero grade in his new school for not bringing school supplies for the entire classroom.

school supplies, school, pencils, paper, markers, paperSchool supplies is important and expensive.Image via Canva.


Nicole was especially surprised by this reaction since she had already gone through the effort of making sure her son had every item he needed from the school’s supplies list, which was slightly different than the one they previously had.

To Nicole's surprise, her son's seventh grade teacher informed him he was expected to provide for the whole classroom, not just himself. And, thus, her received a zero grade for failing the assignment, so to speak.

Even though Nicole thought the rule was “weird,” she went out and bought the bulk items, which included tissues, Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, pencils, Expo markers, and red pens. And yet, the next week, her son still had a zero. Concerned, Nicole emailed her son’s teacher.

“I’m like, ‘hey…my student has a 83 in the class and everything else in the class is 100s and 98s and he still has a zero for something called ‘classroom supplies.’” she said in a video.

“‘We bought the supplies anyways, but I don't feel like it's the parents' responsibility to supply your classroom. And I definitely don't think it's appropriate to assign a grade to students based off of whether or not they've supplied your class with supplies. That doesn't make any sense.’”

@shanittanicole

Am I doing too much? #fyp #school

While Nicole’s email did get the teacher to reconcile the grade, there was no acknowledgement about her other concerns regarding the responsibility of parents to provide the entire class with supplies.

“So, I emailed the principal because I just, I might be extra, but I just want to see what's going on. Why do I have to buy supplies for the classroom?” the frustrated mom asked. Nicole’s video quickly went viral on TikTok, and several weighed in to agree that the teacher’s actions were misguided.

“That is so unfair!! Especially for the kids whose parents CANT afford groceries let alone classroom supplies,” one user wrote.

Another added, “You are not wrong. It is 100% ok for [the teacher] to ask for supplies, but mandate it for a grade? Absolutely not.”

This point is truly what Nicole took umbrage with, as she noted several times in the comments. It has less to do with being asked to help and more to do with her son’s grade depending on it.

grades, progress report, report card, grading, schoolAsking for supplies is ok, mandating it is not. Image via Canva

In a follow-up video, Nicole shared that the school principal did end up reaching out, notifying her that while, yes, teachers are allowed to ask for donations, it should never be mandated. What's more, as Nicole notes in the below video, her son was being penalized for not providing supplies for an honors class he only attends for one period (50 minutes) a day. This wasn't even his homeroom. Though that wouldn't justify the teacher's ask and attached grade, it might have made a little more sense.

@shanittanicole

Replying to @yafavv._.dancer😍😘💞😍😍💞 Graded Supplies Update #fyp #school

“What the teacher was trying to accomplish, but it definitely wasn't appropriate,” the principal told Nicole.

While the teacher might have not handled this situation in the best way, it goes without saying that this is a larger systemic issue—one that isn’t exactly fair to parents, teachers, and students alike.

Most public school teachers spend a significant amount of their own money on classroom supplies, to an average of $673 per year, according to a recent survey of more than 1,100 educators by the Association of American Educators (AAE). That number only goes up for teachers in high poverty schools.

At the same time, according to a 2022 survey with Savings.com (that was updated in 2024), the typical parent also spends nearly $600 on school supplies, not to mention other necessities like clothes, backpacks, haircuts, etc.

In the grand scheme of things, there’s no use placing full responsibility or blame onto teachers or parents because either way, students get caught in the crossfire. This is clearly a universal burden that needs attention.

This article originally appeared two years ago.

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History (Education)

The actual border between the U.S. and Canada is much stranger than people realize

The border may look like a simple, mostly straight line, but it's got some weird quirks.

Photo credit: Canva

The border between the U.S. and Canada has some funky anomalies.

Canada has been the United States' friendly upstairs neighbor for over 150 years, with people on both sides of the border enjoying good relations and a mutual flow of tourism and trade. But the border that separates us is a bit…odd, and not just because President Trump's confusing second-term commentary about it: "If you look at a map, they drew an artificial line right through it, between Canada and the U.S. Just a straight, artificial line. Somebody did it a long time ago, many many decades ago. Makes no sense."

The border itself was formed before Canada officially became a country, when the 49th parallel was negotiated with Britain to become the boundary (without consulting the indigenous tribes that lived along it, which caused no shortage of confusion and displacement). But what appears to be a "straight, artificial line" is not actually straight (and no more artificial than any other manmade border). It's actually a kind of wobbly line with some dips and blips and sticky-outy-places and islands-in-dispute that the average American and Canadian remain largely unaware of.

Long before the leader of the free world began pontificating on the Canadian-U.S. border, CGP Grey created a video that shines a light on how strange it actually is.

Check this out:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com


The 5,500-mile-long border is the longest border between two countries in the world, and there's a 20-foot wide space along the border that's been deforested as basically a "no touchy" zone to delineate where it is. The border line looks straight on a map, but the actual, official border is actually 900 zig-zagging lines that twist and turn by as much as several hundred feet. The uncharted wilderness that made up most of the border when it was being established explains why the line is not perfectly straight. However, as CGP Grey points out, the hundreds of monuments marking the international border are in "about as straight a line as you could expect a pre-GPS civilization to make."

There are some strange anomalies along our border, including an island in the Northeastern U.S./Southeastern Canada that both countries believe belong to them. Machias Seal Island has a fascinating history as it's been a disputed territory since the origination of the border, with Canada and the U.S. holding different interpretations of what defines the parameters of the border. But thankfully, it's a peaceful dispute—or at least it has been so far.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Another weird anomaly on the Canadian border is the little rectangle of land that juts out from the top of Minnesota into the province of Manitoba, mostly over a lake. Oddly enough, that's a result of the erroneous way some maps that were used to plot out the border were made, which eventually led to a dilemma over how to connect the border in that area. Known as the Northwest Angle, or as locals call it, the Angle, this remote area of land and water actually marks the northernmost point in the contiguous U.S.

Another place where the 49th parallel caused an issue was with Vancouver Island, as the line cut off the southernmost tip of the island. That was easily solved by just going around it, but there is a tiny piece of U.S. land that gets cut off on the Canadian mainland, Point Roberts, which creates a bit of a strange reality for the 1,000 or so Americans who live there. Basically, residents can't drive anywhere else without crossing the border, including the kids who go to middle school and high school around the crook of Canadian land that connects the peninsula to the rest of Washington State. Not the end of the world to cross the border a few times a day as long as our countries remain on good terms.

There are several other places along the Canada-U.S. border where one country contains a little bit of the other, creating a fun little game of figuring out why certain places are the way they are. But again, as long relations between our countries stay friendly, those little quirks just constitute a fun part of our mutual history and are not a cause for conflict. Let's do our best to keep it that way.

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