upworthy
Joy

Man with terminal cancer throws himself a 'going away party' in lieu of a memorial service

He wanted to attend his own "celebration of life," so he just…did.

joyful party, going away party, cancer, illness, end of life, celebration, terminal illness
Photo credit: Canva

Gathering with loved ones to say good-bye can be empowering.

When you know your life will be coming to an end soon, what do you do? How do you spend your final weeks? Do you get your affairs in order? Spend time with your family as you await the inevitable?

If you're someone like Bibi Brzozka's father, you throw yourself a goodbye party as if you're only getting ready to leave town. Brzozka shared a video about her father, who is dying of terminal cancer, organizing a "Goodbye Party" for 50 of his friends and family so they could celebrate his life while he was still alive and able to enjoy it.

"My dad is a legend," Brzozka wrote in an Instagram post. "I’m not sure how it is in your country, ⁣but in Poland, admitting you are dying is often seen as giving up—a big no-go because it's believed to bring bad luck. ⁣It makes people deeply uncomfortable.⁣ Here, we have a tradition of honoring people after their funeral. ⁣It’s called STYPA. ⁣But my dad? ⁣He wasn’t interested in a gathering where he wouldn’t be present—so he decided to have ⁣a PRE-STYPA instead.⁣
⁣
"This was completely new for people here—bold, unconventional, and courageous. ⁣But that’s just who my dad is. ⁣
And that’s exactly what I’ve inherited ⁣from him.⁣ We're not "normal"…We do things differently.

"What truly amazed me was how many people left inspired, saying they’d love to celebrate their life while they’re still here.⁣"

"While it was shocking for some, it was also deeply inspiring for others," Brzozka shared. The idea of saying goodbye properly, at a dedicated event with that specific focus, is a beautiful way to embrace the end of life and to celebrate the person who will be passing on, even if it's not what we normally see.

Others in the comments shared stories of their loved ones throwing similar parties and how much it meant to everyone who came.

"My great aunt did this back in the 1990s. She paid for all her siblings and their kids to join her in Florida when she was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. I accompanied my grandma, the oldest sibling, and one other from my generation was invited. I was always close to Aunt Florence. It made sense to me when she said, why would I want you all to throw a party after I’m gone? Let’s do it now."

"I got to perform for a similar goodbye party for someone passing away from cancer, last year. Very small and intimate gathering with family and friends, got to sing their special requests, everyone was singing along crying, and dancing. It was so hard holding back tears watching everyone emotional and embracing each other 🥺🥹 this is indeed a lovely idea more ppl should do, celebrate each other in life while we have the chance."

family celebrating, family, gathering, celebration, life, deathCelebrations of life don't have to wait until death.Photo credit: Canva

"My friend did this about 25 years ago she had breast cancer - We sang and danced and a young man came to sing for her he bought her a birthday present-she said oh no darling it's not my birthday it's my going away party 💔❤️🩹she was so brave❤️I still talk about it with friends."

"One of my close friends did this before she passed of breast cancer. It's was an amazing event and when I miss her, I watch the video of her farewell party."

"I went to a celebration of life party for a friend who was terminally ill. At first I found the concept odd but he enjoyed it very much and we all laughed and cried tears of joy together. Our culture needs to change its views on dying It is not something to hide but rather to celebrate a life well lived."

dinner party, gathering, loved ones, life, celebration, partyGood food and good company make a goodbye party a celebration.Photo credit: Canva

Many people said that they loved the idea and appreciate how it celebrates life while life is still happening.

"What a blessing to be able to do that, many of us don’t have the privilege of knowing when our time will come. And while it doesn’t necessarily make it easier, I think this is a beautiful way to honor life and walk along side him on his journey home. ❤️ much love to your sweet dad and the family/community he created."

"I love this!! I’m all about why do we only rest in peace, let’s live in peace too! I think this is a perfect example of that perspective. Don’t come and honor me once I’ve passed, come celebrate my life while I’m alive! Thank you, for sharing! This is a beautiful idea and a way I’d love to say goodbye to the most important people in my life."

"What a beautiful idea. I would definitely do that. And I might one day."

Looking death in the eye and saying, "Hey, let's have a big final bash and celebrate this life of mine!" is an incredibly empowering way to not only accept death, which eventually comes to us all, but to embrace life with radiant joy.

celebration of life
Culture

Young female artist has sold $7 million worth of paintings before she was even 14-years-old

You can see her talent in her very first painting.

Autumn de Forest

Autumn de Forest stands before a sign with her name on it

When Autumn de Forest was 5, she picked up a paintbrush for the first time. It wasn't long before she was ready to show the world what she could do.

After a year of practice, the then-6-year-old asked her father if he could get her a booth at a local art-in-the-park program. "People would come up to the booth, and they would talk to my father, and they'd say, 'This is great!'" she said. "Apparently they thought it was Take Your Daughter to Work Day."

Almost everyone thought the artwork was her father's. And when they found out that tiny Autumn was the artist, people couldn't believe their eyes.


art, kids, art genius, kid genius Autumn created this piece when she was just 5 years old. Autumn de Forest

Soon, Autumn rose to national fame.

When Autumn was 8, she was featured on the Discovery Health Channel. There was a slew of media attention in the years that followed. There was Disney. There was The Today Show. There was Wendy Williams. She was called a child genius, a prodigy, and an expert painter.


autumn deforest, art, kids, paintingSoon, Autumn rose to national fame.Autumn Deforest


Suddenly, Autumn de Forest was everywhere.

But not everyone was so accepting of the young artist and her work. Some people in the art world had ... questions. Sure, she was good for a kid. But was her art actually good? Others wondered if the whole thing might be an elaborate hoax.

Autumn decided not to listen.

By 14 she developed a startlingly organized daily routine that went far beyond a 9 to 5.

Somehow, as the focus on her age begins to wear off, Autumn's work ethic and art only grow stronger. She said that most days, she'd wake up in her parents' Las Vegas home at 7:30 a.m. After breakfast, she'd break out her supplies for a one- or two-hour painting session. From there, she dove into her school work. Most brick-and-mortar schools can't accommodate her travel schedule, so she did the majority of her schooling online.

Before dinner, it's back into the studio.

"That session can last much longer, that can be three or four hours when I really get into it," she said. "Then I probably have dinner and go to bed."

kids, painting, artistic genius, paintings, kid artists Autumn de Forest paints Autumn de Forest


The results? They speak for themselves.

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kids, prodigy An Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

Her work has been displayed in galleries and exhibitions all over the world.

Autumn held a public demonstration before a showing at The Butler Institute of American Art.

Autumn de Forest, painting, kids, artAn Autumn de Forest painting Autumn de Forest

In 2015, Autumn received the International Giuseppe Sciacca Award in Painting and Art.

The award took her to the Vatican for a private showing of her artwork with the pope.


She's also worked with the President's Committee on the Arts and the Humanities, headed up by former First Lady Michelle Obama.

Autumn de Forest, the Pope, Pope Francis, painting, artAutumn de Forest stands with the Pope who looks at one of her paintings Autumn de Forest

As part of the program, de Forest traveled to underprivileged schools around the country and led painting workshops. Oh, and if you're looking for some hard numbers to attach to Autumn's talent, she's got those, too.

Her paintings raked in over $7 million at auctions by the time she was a teenager — fetching as much as $25,000 each — much of which has gone directly to charities and disaster relief funds.


At 23-years-old now, what's Autumn de Forest up to lately?

Autumn de Forest, painting, art, kidsAutumn de Forest works with other young painters Autumn de Forest

A lot!

The transition from child prodigy to respected artist has kept her busy.

In 2017, the Monthaven Arts and Cultural Center in Hendersonville, Tennessee hosted a major solo exhibition for de Forest titled "Her White Room: The Art of Autumn de Forest."

That same year, de Forest was listed as one of Teen Vogue's "21 Under 21." In her profile she was praised for her talent as well as her commitment to art education.

"In dis­advantaged schools, they consider the arts an extracur­ricular activity," she told Teen Vogue. "It's devastating, as there could be child prodigies in these schools, but they don't know that they have this God-­given gift because they're not given the opportunity because there's nearly no art programs in schools."

In 2018, de Forest was featured in the music video for the song "Youth" by best-selling recording artists Shawn Mendes and Khalid. The video highlights exceptional young people working to change the world, including de Forest, Emma González, and Elias and Zion Phoenix.

The video has over 17 million plays on YouTube.

And of course, Autumn continues to share her absolutely incredible artwork on Instagram and in shows and exhibitions around the globe.

The Autumn de Forest Foundation, helps her keep track of the kids she's met throughout the years and to continue to help them with their art careers.

A portion of the foundation's money goes to a 529 account set up for the students while 10% goes to them directly.

"A lot of these kids that I work with, they're not very old, they're in second grade, third grade, fourth grade. Maybe in 10 years, they may only have four or five thousand dollars but that could be the difference between them going to college or not," Autumn told Teen Vogue.

Autumn's incredible rise in the art world is an astonishing feat for someone who's still in her teens. But that accomplishment is easily matched by her generosity and commitment to helping develop tomorrow's prodigies as well.

For more information, visit the Autumn de Forest Foundation.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Pop Culture

TikTok star Jordan the Stallion shares new ‘Batman’ role and the secret to his addictive videos

He also explains Justin Bateman's unique charisma.

via Jordan the Stallion/TikTok (used with permission) and State Farm Insurance (used with permission)

Jordan Howlette (aka Jordan the Stallion) in his new role as Commissioner Gordon.

Jordan Howlett, 27, is known by his 26 million-plus followers on TikTok and Instagram as Jordan the Stallion (a play on singer Megan Thee Stallion). He’s attracted a massive following for his fast food recipes, life hacks, smooth voice, deep research, kind heart, and iconic “come here” camera zoom. Not bad for a guy who shoots most of his work staring into his bathroom mirror.

Now that he’s reached the pinnacle of TikTok popularity, he’s branching out as an actor. Specifically, he's taken a role as Chief Gordon in State Farm Insurance's new Batman-inspired commercial. Upworthy talked to Howlett about his new role and how he creates his incredibly popular videos.

The new State Farm commercials feature actor Justin Bateman as “Bateman,” the last person you want at a crime scene when you could have had the real thing, Batman, show up. In the spot's opening, Bateman meets Commissioner Gordon, played by Howlett, who closely resembles Jeffery Wright, who played the role in 2022’s The Batman.

“As I began to fill out, I started to resemble Jeffrey Wright, and I think it was just a perfect pairing. I love the work that Jeffrey does,” he told Upworthy. He also channeled Wright’s gritty performance for the State Farm spot. “My mind immediately went to Jeffrey Wright's version of Commissioner Gordon, where he talked with a grungy whisper.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Even though TikTok videos made him famous, Howlett couldn’t avoid catching the acting bug after this role. “I have been fully immersed and infected with the acting bug,” he told Upworthy. “I'm the embodiment of a fan and a student of acting and film and TV, and I have such tremendous respect for that art. And as much as I love having these opportunities, they’re due to the work I've done in the bathroom. I'm happy that those created these opportunities, and I don’t take them lightly.”

Howlett felt the “aura” surrounding his co-star Jason Bateman and tried to define that type of rare charisma. “I think it stems from people feeling as though they're represented by that person on screen,” he said. “If you watch people that you really admire, it’s like they speak to you in a certain way, right? Their art embodies something that really speaks to me. It's almost surreal because it's like you feel you know them on a molecular level.”

@jordan_the_stallion8

Dedication is important for big roles #StateFarmPartner @Jake from State Farm

In his videos, Howlett just tries to be himself. “It really is me,” he shared. “I don't have the bandwidth to try to put a mask on in any way. It really just is authentically myself. And I'm just happy that people can relate to that.” He also works quickly so that his videos feel natural. He records most of them in one take, but spontaneity has drawbacks. “The one downside is, after you posted, you think, like, ‘Oh, would have been funny if I said this.’ But, sorry, it’s too late because I was just doing it one time,” he said. That authenticity comes from a life where he has battled homelessness and depression and started a new life after being a Division 1 college baseball player.

Because of his ability to overcome his struggles, Jordan is seen as a role model or big-brother figure by some of his Gen Z followers. It’s a big responsibility that he takes seriously. ”I feel like there's a responsibility to people who see me in that way, to make sure that I do the best I possibly can to make them proud,” he told Upworthy. “I don't tell people to do something or use something that I wouldn't do or use myself, and make sure that I stay true to who I am and continue to do that out of respect for them. I'm honored.”

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Motherhood

People are in disbelief learning how many moms literally daydream about being hospitalized

It's a real phenomenon.

Canva, @emilykmay/X

woman lying in a hospital bed looking out the window

It's hard to explain the relentless intensity of having young children if you haven't done it. It's wonderful, beautiful, magical and all of that—it truly is—but it's a lot. Like, a lot. It's a bit like running an ultramarathon through the most beautiful landscape you can imagine. There's no question that it's amazing, but it's really, really hard. And sometimes there are storms or big hills or obstacles or twisted ankles or some other thing that makes it even more challenging for a while.

Unfortunately, a lot of moms feel like they're running that marathon alone. Some actually are. Some have partners who don't pull their weight. But even with an equal partner, the early years tend to be mom-heavy, and it takes a toll. In fact, that toll is so great that it's not unusual for moms to fantasize about being hospitalized—not with anything serious, just something that requires a short stay—simply to get a genuine break.

moms, motherhood, exhaustion, parenting, parentingAn exhausted mom looks at her laptop while kids play in the backgroundImage via Canva

In a thread on X (formerly Twitter), a mom named Emily shared this truth: "[I don't know] if the lack of community care in our culture is more evident than when moms casually say they daydream about being hospitalized for something only moderately serious so that they are forced to not have any responsibilities for like 3 days."

In a follow-up tweet, she added, "And other moms are like 'yeah totally' while childfree Gen Z girls’ mouths hang open in horror."

Other moms corroborated, not only with the fantasy but the reality of getting a hospital break:

"And can confirm: I have the fondest memories of my appendicitis that almost burst 3 weeks after my third was born bc I emergency had to go get it taken out and I mean I let my neighbor take my toddlers and I let my husband give the baby formula, and I slept until I was actually rested. Under the knife, but still. It was really nice," wrote one mom.

"I got mastitis when my first was 4 months old. I had to have surgery, but my hospital room had a nice view, my mom came to see me, the baby was with me but other people mostly took care of her, bliss," shared another.


motherhood, moms, babies, exhaustion, mental healthAn exhausted mom holds her newborn babyImage via Canva

Some people tried to blame lackadaisical husbands and fathers for moms feeling overwhelmed, but as Emily pointed out, it's not always enough to have a supportive spouse. That's why she pointed to "lack of community care" in her original post.


They say it takes a village to raise a child, but it also takes a village to raise a mother. Without the proverbial village, we end up bearing too much of the weight of childrearing ourselves. We're not just running the ultramarathon—we're also carrying the water, bandaging the blisters, moving fallen trees out of the way, washing the sweat out of our clothes—and we're doing it all without any rest.

Why don't moms just take a vacation instead of daydreaming about hospitalization? It's not that simple. Many people don't have the means for a getaway, but even if they do, there's a certain level of "mom guilt" that comes with purposefully leaving your young children. Vacations usually require planning and decision-making as well, and decision fatigue is one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Strange as it may seem, the reason hospitalization is attractive is that it's forced—if you're in the hospital, you have to be there, so there's no guilt about choosing to leave. It involves no decision-making—someone else is calling the all shots. You literally have no responsibilities in the hospital except resting—no one needs anything from you. And unlike when you're on vacation, most people who are caring for your kids when you're in the hospital aren't going to constantly contact you to ask you questions. They'll leave you to let you rest.

Paula Fitzgibbons shares that had three kids under the age of 3 in 11 months (two by adoption and one by birth). Her husband, despite being very involved and supportive, had a 1.5 hour commute for work, so the lion's share of childcare—"delightful utter chaos" as she refers to it—fell on her shoulders. At one point, she ended up in the ER with atrial fibrillation, and due to family medical history was kept in the hospital for a few days for tests and monitoring.

"When people came to visit me or called to see how I was, I responded that I was enjoying my time at 'the spa,' and though I missed my family, I was soaking it all in," she tells Upworthy. "My husband understood. Other mothers understood. The medical staff did not know what to make of my cheerful demeanor, but there I was, lying in bed reading and sleeping for four straight days with zero guilt. What a gift for a new mom."

moms, motherhood, mental health, exhaustion, relaxing, relaxation A mom relaxing in a chairImage via Canva

When you have young children, your concept of what's relaxing shifts. I recall almost falling asleep during one of my first dental cleanings after having kids. That chair was so comfy and no one needed anything from me—I didn't even care what they were doing to my teeth. It felt like heaven to lie down and rest without any demands being made of me other than "Open a little wider, please."

Obviously, being hospitalized isn't ideal for a whole host of reasons, but the desire is real. There aren't a lot of simple solutions to the issue of moms needing a real break—not just an hour or two, but a few days—but maybe if society were structured in such a way that we had smaller, more frequent respites and spread the work of parenting across the community, we wouldn't feel as much of a desire to be hospitalized simply to be able to be able to rejuvenate.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Family

Why Gen X—'the forgotten generation'—might just make the best grandparents

Those latchkey kid qualities will come in clutch as we enter this stage of life.

Photo credit: Canva

Gen Xers will be the coolest grandparents ever.

Generation X came of age with The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, fought our way through the young adult years with Reality Bites and Friends, and managed the madness of middle age with Modern Family and The Office.

Now the "MTV generation" (yes, we really have been defined by our entertainment as much as anything else) is hitting a new life milestone as our kids start having babies. That's right, Gen Xers are becoming grandparents. The Brat Pack are turning into "The Golden Girls." Seems unreal, yet here we are.

pretty in pink, 80s, john hughes, coming of age, film, breakfast clubThe Breakfast Club is having grandbabies.Giphy

But no need to fret too much, slackers, because Gen X is not destined to be typical grandparents. We've already begun to establish that fact with our resistance to being called Grandma or Grandpa or any variation thereof. Gen X wants its own nicknames to match our unconventional, non-conformist vibe. Call us Bubs and Gigi. Popo and Yaya. Skipper and Queenie. Anything but Gramps and Gran, please.

We need cool nicknames because Gen Xers will inevitably be the coolest grandparents ever. After all, we're the coolest generation. It's just a fact. Everyone knows it.

cool, genx, generation x, grandparents, cool kidsEveryone knows it.Giphy

But for those who doubt, here's what makes "the forgotten generation" custom-made for grandparenthood:

Gen X is practical and resourceful

Grandkid got a bean stuck up their nose? Gen X won't panic. We've seen it all and we're excellent problem solvers. There's no grandkid shenanigan we can't handle. Think of all the stuff we had to figure out by ourselves when we were growing up and how we can pass those skills down to the grandkids. They're going to be shocked by what we're able to do.

Gen X is resilient but caring

We hear a lot about pendulum swings when it comes to parenting, and Gen X hasn't been immune to that phenomenon. The benign (and sometimes not-so-benign) neglect many Gen Xers experienced as kids may have led to some overprotectiveness and hovering in our own parenting styles, but we've learned a lot from both methods. We know that hardship builds character, but so do hugs. We've learned the balance of toughness and tenderness, so when the grandkid falls down, we'll encourage them to dust themselves off, give them a quick squeeze, and send them right back to the playground.

ferris bueller, dance, genx, generations, grandparentsMatthew Broderick Dancing GIFGiphy

Gen X is in tune with our inner child

If any generation has done the work of healing our inner child, it's Gen X. At least, let's hope most have. We've had a lot of decades now to come to terms with our upbringing, to heal the hurt parts, and to remember the joy and wonder of those 70s and 80s childhoods. Who better to hang out with the grandkids? We'll take them to the park and show them how to jump off the swing. We'll take them exploring in nature, make a picnic under a tree, and feel the grass between our toes. And we will thoroughly love it as it reminds us of our own childhoods.

Gen X is adaptable and tech-savvy

As the generation that didn't grow up with the Internet but raised kids who did, Gen X has had to adapt to all kinds of new, wonderful, and terrifying technologies in our parenting journeys. As a result, we can help out when the grandkids have some newfangled devices with unforeseen issues that their parents have no clue about. We've been there and done that and have the scars to prove it. Hopefully our adaptability will rub off on the younger set.

genx, say anything, tech, savvy, grandparentsGIF by moodmanGiphy

Gen X values work-life balance

We may not really be at retirement age yet, but Gen X is dialed in on work-life balance. We've got time for the grandkids because we make time for the grandkids. The rat race always got a cynical side eye from Gen X, and even those who've found success in the professional world aren't willing to sacrifice family for the company's bottom line. We'll make some sacrifices to give the grandkids some valuable real-life experiences, and we can teach them what really matters in life in the process.

In other words, Gen X is going to rock grandparenthood, shedding the stereotypes of older generations. We haven't done any other part of life according to the standard rules, and we're definitely not going to start now. We'll be writing our own grandparent playbook as we go, and our grandkids will be all the better for it.

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Heroes

Denver 3-year-old bravely saves great-grandma after she fell outside while babysitting him

He learned bravery from watching 'Paw Patrol.'

Photo credit: Canva

3-year-old saves great-grandma after she fell and hit her head

There's no rule that says only an adult can be a hero. Teens and sometimes small children can become heroes too, even when they're not thinking of themselves as someone worthy of a cape. Bridger Peabody is just three years old but the toddler is already adding hero to his resume before he even starts preschool.

Bridger is a huge fan of the show Paw Patrol, which came in handy when an emergency took place while he was being babysat by his great-grandmother Sharon Lewis, 77. The two were home alone when the unthinkable happened, "Gigi," which is what Bridger calls his grandma, fell and the toddler had to rescue her. Lewis uses a walker to get around and must've become unsteady on her feet while maneuvering the wheeled walker inside.

The pair were outside enjoying some playtime before everything went south. As they were making their way inside from playing in the backyard, Lewis fell—but it wasn't just a normal trip and fall. The great-grandma didn't land on her knees, bottom, or even her hands—which probably would caused enough damage. When Lewis fell, she forcefully hit her head on the cement steps and blood quickly rushed from her wound—but that wasn't the end of her problem.

elderly, great grandma, great grandma, injury, childcareThank goodness the little boy knew what to do. Giphy

"I tripped over something and fell and hit my head on the concrete step," Lewis tells Inside Edition.

The elderly woman was unable to move and her cell phone was not with her. Since she was home alone with the toddler, she realized he was the only one there who could help her. So, she instructed him to get her phone. Bridger may be young, but he knew his grandmother was hurt and needed his help. There were a couple of stumbling blocks for Bridger to overcome, though, the first one being that the phone was in the car, not inside the house. The second was that the sun had set and the toddler is afraid of the dark.

dark, emergency, child, great grandma, helpThe situation was pretty dire.Giphy

This is where Paw Patrol comes in. The show is popular with toddlers and preschoolers, and depicts cartoon dogs of different breeds donning uniforms from various help and service professions (firefighter, police, construction, etc.) to rescue different fictional animals. It shows kids the importance of bravery, team work, and kindness—which Bridger clearly picked up on. The little guy knew that it was dark outside, but he also knew he needed to help his great-grandmother—so he braved the dark channeling his inner Paw Patrol character.

His self pep talk was caught on camera and it's just as adorable as one might imagine. You can see Bridger holding his blankie in the night vision security camera as he walks to the car repeating, "Don't be afraid." The boy opens the car door and excitedly exclaims, "YAY! I did it!" when he gets inside the car. When the interior light turned on in the car, Bridger could clearly see the phone and was able to grab it and bring it back to his grandmother, allowing her to call 911.

The ambulance came to take Lewis to the hospital where she received 22 staples in her head. She's now home safely recovering all thanks to the bravery of her three-year-old great grandson.

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