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During his 1988 campaign, George H.W. Bush warned his son about 'new friends.'

'As we move closer to November, you'll find you've got a lot of new friends. They may become real friends. Or...'

When first running for president in 1988, George H.W. Bush sent a letter to his oldest son, George W. Bush, who was 41 years old at the time.

"We are about to sail into uncharted waters, in terms of family scrutiny," he told his son in the letter, which was shared by The New York Times in 2015. "We've all been through a lot of inquiry and microscopic probing; however, it'll get worse, not just for our family, but for [fellow presidential candidates] Dukakis'/Jackson's, too. Hence this letter to family."

With the letter, Bush Sr. sent an April 1988 New York Times article about a distant relative who tried to use "his contact" with the then-vice president to obtain a contract.


Using that as a warning, the elder Bush reminded his son to be wary of "new friends."

Those "new friends" will ask for favors, he warned, reminding his son of the weight and power his name would have as the election drew closer.

It's totally appropriate for a candidate's adult son — especially his oldest son, carrying on his namesake, who has political dreams of his own — to want to help out in a presidential campaign. But there are limits to what can and should be done. A very deliberate line has to be drawn between loyalty and an abuse of power or influence.

"As we move closer to November, you'll find you've got a lot of new friends. They may become real friends. Or if the polls show Dukakis kicking us — there might be some friendships that will vaporize. They'll ask for things — 'Do you know anyone at Commerce? Can you call Joe Doakes at State?'

My plea is this: please do not contact any federal agency or department on anything. A call from a 'Bush' will get returned, but there is a great likelihood that it will be leaked; maybe deliberately misrepresented."

George W. and George H.W. Bush in 2008. Photo by Mandel Ngan/AFP/Getty Images.

If one of those "new friends" were to make a request that could be viewed as an abuse of power, even if the request was legitimate, Bush Sr. asked his son to be careful to avoid even the appearance of improper action or corruption.

"If there is a legitimate inquiry, call my office. It is certainly appropriate to contact your own government, but let's do it through my office so no one can accuse any of the family of trying to use influence.

I know I must sound very defensive, but — believe me — every effort will be made to find some phone call, some inquiry, some letter that can be made to appear improper."

In hindsight, it was a remarkable letter, and another instance where George H.W. Bush showed himself to be a real stand-up guy.

Along with his 1995 letter of resignation to the National Rifle Association and a powerful 1993 letter of congratulations and well wishes to then-president-elect Bill Clinton, George H.W. Bush can sometimes feel like an artifact from a fundamentally different time in American politics.

Sure, merely avoiding the appearance of improper action doesn't necessarily mean that the administration was scandal-free — there will always be questions about what Bush knew about the Iran-Contra affair and his office's decision to issue pardons to Reagan-era officials for their involvement, for example — but at least it seemed like politicians made an effort to steer clear of scandal.

He closed out the letter noting that he hoped he would no longer have to send such "preachy letters" and signed it, "Devotedly, Dad." For him, being a good father meant trying to keep his son out of trouble — even if it meant passing up a potentially juicy campaign advantage.

Robin Williams played inspiring English teacher John Keating in "Dead Poets Society."

As a Gen X parent of Gen Z teens and young adults, I'm used to cringing at things from 80s and 90s movies that haven't aged well. However, a beloved movie from my youth that I didn't expect to be problematic, "Dead Poets Society," sparked some unexpected negative responses in my kids, shining a spotlight on generational differences I didn't even know existed.

I probably watched "Dead Poets Society" a dozen or more times as a teen and young adult, always finding it aesthetically beautiful, tragically sad, and profoundly inspiring. That film was one of the reasons I decided to become an English teacher, inspired as I was by Robin Williams' portrayal of the passionately unconventional English teacher, John Keating.

The way Mr. Keating shared his love of beauty and poetry with a class of high school boys at a stuffy prep school, encouraging them to "seize the day" and "suck all the marrow out of life," hit me right in my idealistic youthful heart. And when those boys stood up on their desks for him at the end of the film, defying the headmaster who held their futures in his hands? What a moving moment of triumph and support.

My Gen Z kids, however, saw the ending differently. They loved the feel of the film, which I expected with its warm, cozy, comforting vibe (at least up until the last 20 minutes or so). They loved Mr. Keating, because how can you not? But when the movie ended, I was taken aback hearing "That was terrible!" and "Why would you traumatize me like that?" before they admitted, "But it was so gooood!"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The traumatize part I get—that film gets very heavy all of a sudden. But in discussing it further, I uncovered three main generational differences that impacted their "Dead Poets Society" viewing experience and what they took away from it.

1) Gen Z sees inspiring change through a systemic lens, not an individual one

The first thing my 20-year-old said when the credits rolled was, "What? That's terrible! Nothing changed! He got fired and the school is still run by a bunch of stodgy old white men forcing everyone to conform!" My immediate response was, "Yeah, but he changed those boys' individual lives, didn't he? He helped broaden their minds and see the world differently."

I realized that Gen X youth valued individuals going against the old, outdated system and doing their own thing, whereas Gen Z values the dismantling of the system itself. For Gen X, Mr. Keating and the boys taking a stand was inspiring, but the fact that it didn't actually change anything outside of their own individual experiences stuck like a needle in my Gen Z kids' craw.

2) Gen Z isn't accustomed to being blindsided by tragic storylines with no warning

To be fair, I did tell them there was "a sad part" before the movie started. But I'd forgotten how deeply devastating the last part of the movie was, so my daughter's "Why would you do that to me?!" was somewhat warranted. "I thought maybe a dog would die or something!" she said. No one really expected one of the main characters to die by suicide and the beloved teacher protagonist to be blamed for it, but I'd somehow minimized the tragedy of it all in my memory.

But also to be fair, Gen X never got any such warnings—we were just blindsided by tragic plot twists all the time. As kids, we cheered on Atreyu trying to save his horse from the swamp in "The Neverending Story" only to watch him drown. Adults showed us "Watership Down" thinking it would be a cute little animated film about bunnies. We were slapped in the face by the tragic child death in "My Girl," which was marketed as a sweet coming of age movie.

Gen Z was raised in the era of trigger warnings and trauma-informed practices, while Gen X kids watched a teacher die on live TV in our classrooms with zero follow-up on how we were processing it. Those differences became apparent real quick at the end of this movie.

3) Gen Z fixates on boundary-crossing behavior that Gen X overlooked

The other reaction I wasn't expecting was the utter disdain my girls showed for Knox Overstreet, the sweet-but-over-eager character who fell for the football player's cheerleader girlfriend. His boundary-crossing attempts to woo her were always cringe, but for Gen X, cringe behavior in the name of love was generally either overlooked, tolerated, or sometimes even celebrated. (Standing on a girl's lawn in the middle of the night holding a full-volume stereo over your head was peak romance for Gen X, remember.) For Gen Z, the only thing worse than cringe is predatory behavior, which Knox's obsessiveness and pushiness could be seen as. My young Gen X lens saw him and said, "That's a bit much, dude. Take it down a notch or three." My Gen Z daughters' lens said, "That guy's a creepo. She needs to run far the other way."

On one hand, I was proud of them for recognizing red flag behaviors. On the other hand, I saw how little room there is for nuance in their perceptions, which was…interesting.

My Gen Z kids' reactions aren't wrong; they're just different than mine were at their age. We're usually on the same page, so seeing them have a drastically different reaction to something I loved at their age was really something. Now I'm wondering what other favorite movies from my youth I should show them to see if they view those differently as well—hopefully without them feeling traumatized by the experience.

This article originally appeared in January

Unsplash & bruncvik/reddit

Joseph, a dad from Dublin, Ireland says he started drawing and painting in the evenings about a year ago to help him unwind from work. It's a great idea, because adult coloring has been shown to have a ton of positive mental health effects. Plus, it's fun! But one unintended and adorable side effect of Joseph's coloring was that his young son, Philip, decided he wanted to emulate him.

Philip had always loved coloring but, Joseph says, "I had to get him some pastels, and he started trying on the same drawings as I did," Joseph says. "I found it absolutely adorable when he was seriously repeating the same movements as me: cleaning the tips of the pastels, blend the edges of colors, etc."

One thing quickly became apparent: Philip was much, much better than his old man.

"About a month ago, he made a painting that was so good I had to share it on Reddit. Within two days, it generated over 100,000 views and 3000 likes."

The overwhelming response? "Uh, 5-year-olds can't do that."

bruncvik/reddit

The first piece Philip shared is wildly impressive. Some commenters couldn't believe that a 5-year-old could have made it, but I think you can see it pretty clearly. It has just enough childlike crudeness, but the stylistic flair is just off the charts, from the whispy sky to the slightly foreboding trees. Redditors agreed that it was incredible.

"Thats better than I can do now at 25," one Reddit user wrote.

Others questioned whether the boy might be related to Bob Ross.

"I told [Philip] about it, and I guess that was his first big dopamine hit," Joseph says of going viral. "Since then, he is asking to draw more often, and there's often an intrinsic reward for him. One painting got submitted to a charity auction at his school ... I don't pressure him to draw; he's coming to me to ask whether he can use my pastels"

One critical part of the story is that Philip often follows along with YouTube videos that his dad finds for him. Lest you think this should diminish how impressive the painting is, quite the contrary. As someone with an almost-5-year-old of my own, I've seen the kind of stuff kids this age are capable of drawing — and it's not this! No matter how much instruction they have.

The structured YouTube videos were able to unlock Philip's natural talent and guide him in a way that his dad never could.

Here's the finished painting he was following along with. Honestly? I like Philip's better! It has a lot more personality.

She'z ART/YouTube

The response to Philip's first painting was so positive that his dad decided to post another piece.

You gotta give the people what they want!

I love this one, too. The youngster's talent is on display again, with an excellent color palette and aggressive strokes giving it life. Remember — the kid is five years old! Five! Usually they can barely muster a convincing stick figure.

bruncvik/reddit

And again, here's the model painting from YouTube. Joseph said his own versions of these paint-alongs come out looking a lot like the example, but that his son has an incredible way of making them his own.

She'z ART/YouTube

Philip's dad gives a lot of thought to the right way to nurture his son's talent without pushing too hard and snuffing it out.

"He attended an afterschool art club, where they experimented with different media, but he found it too restrictive. He is still bringing home new art at least twice per week, but it's something he does on his own," dad says, not sure if pushing his son into formal art instruction is the right thing to do.

Experts say that pushing too hard when your kid shows a flair for something, especially regarding longterm goals (like going to art school or becoming a professional artist one day), can backfire big time and make them feel overwhelmed and resentful.

Joseph finds other ways to encourage his son's interest.

"One thing I do with him, though, is to talk about painting when we are out and about. Last weekend, we went to watch the sunset, and I asked him what colors he'd use for the clouds. ... Philip is just as obsessed with different shades (his current favorite word is 'vermilion' and his favorite color is 'turquoise'), and how they mix."

Being the parent of a talented or gifted kid is no easy job. There are a lot of pitfalls and plenty of ways to bungle your attempts to nurture that talent. As impressive as Philip's artwork is, especially for his age, the thoughtful parenting on display in this story is just as awesome.

This article originally appeared in January.

Heroes

Instacart delivery driver trusted her gut instinct and ended up saving a customer's life

"You're supposed to take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."

Jessica Higgs had a sense that something wasn't right at a customer's house and her action saved his life.

One the more mysterious aspects of being human is our sense of intuition. This "sixth sense" isn't something we can see or measure, but many people have experienced it in some form or fashion. Maybe it comes as a strong feeling that something isn't right, or that we or someone else should or shouldn't do something. It can be hard to read—not every feeling we get is truly our intuition—but there are plenty of examples of people trusting their instincts and being glad they did.

One such story has gone viral on TikTok. Jessica Higgs, a mom who works as an Instacart grocery delivery person, shared a story in an emotional video that illustrates the importance of listening to that inner voice when it prompts you to make sure someone is OK.

"I just want to start this off by saying if you see something, say something," Higgs said.

Animated GIFGiphy

She explained how she had done an Instacart order the previous day for a daughter who was ordering for her older dad who couldn't shop for himself. She said she was going the extra mile like she always does for her customers, and that the daughter told her to just drop the groceries on the porch and he'd get them. That's what Higgs would usually do.

"I get there and something was telling me no, you gotta help this man out," she said. "He came out, and I was like OK let me help you, and I got the groceries. You're not supposed to go into someone's house, but I used my judgment and I brought the groceries inside and put them down wherever he wanted me to put them down. You're not supposed to, but I did. And you're supposed to just take a picture and leave, and I could not just leave."



@jessicahiggs3

@Instacart #28DaysOfEucerin #fyp



Higgs noticed that the man looked really sick and she was really concerned. A voice in her head said, "You gotta say something. You gotta say something, Jess." Rather than mark the order as complete, she messaged the man's daughter and told her that it was really unprofessional to say something like this, but she felt like her dad wasn't doing well. "There's a propane tank in there," she told the woman. "I was in there maybe five feet and I got dizzy. There's got to be a leak. He might not be doing good because of this leak."

The woman said she would send her son over to check it out and Higgs left. The woman changed her tip from $14 to $100, which Higgs appreciated, but the message she sent her the next morning was a much greater reward for her going the extra mile.

"Thank you so much, once my son went to check on my dad it turned out it was definitely leaking," she wrote. "You definitely saved my dad and my younger son's life!!!"

Through tears, Higgs said, "I'm just an Instacart worker, but if you see something, say something. I did and I'm so happy I did."

Higgs' TikTok has been viewed more than 15 million times and has been shared widely on social media. It has also attracted the attention of big companies.

Royal Caribbean Cruises shared a TikTok video of its own praising Higgs for her heroic act and offering her and her family a seven-day cruise anywhere in the world. "Cause even heroes need a vacation," the company wrote.



@royalcaribbean

Stitch with @jessicahiggs3 - cause even heroes need a vacation. Thanks @captaincruiseguy



Old Navy connected with her and arranged a shopping spree where she got to model several new outfits. People Magazine commented, "You’re literally a HERO! Good job trusting your instincts. 💕" Even TikTok itself wrote, "You are amazing ❤️thank you for sharing this with all of us."

Lots of commenters also pointed out that she's not "just an Instacart worker." Her work is important, she's providing a needed service and any job done in a spirit of helping others should not be minimized. If she hadn't been there doing her job well, that man may not be here. Never underestimate the difference each of us can make by the simple act of looking out for one another, friend and stranger alike.

Higgs' heartfelt story touched millions, and she's being rightly rewarded for listening to her heart and going out of her way to help someone. Gotta love seeing good things come to people doing good. Well done, Jessica Higgs.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

Joy

17 life hacks that are 'so good' people almost didn't want to share. But thankfully, they did.

Some tricks for winning arguments, stopping Karens, and finding your car keys.

A man and woman flirting at a party.

Have you ever had a secret trick that you didn’t want to share with anyone? Some families have recipes they are sworn never to share with outsiders. Other folks have tricks they use at work that give them a competitive advantage that could be used against them if they let it out of the bag. Other people use secret techniques to be likable but fear being seen as manipulative if they share them.

Everyone has their own “secret sauce” that makes them unique. A couple of hundred of them were very kind and shared those secret life hacks on a recent social media post where someone asked, “What’s a life hack so good you almost don’t want to share it?” They received over 3500 responses, and we culled the best from them to make our readers’ lives easier.

The advice covers everything from how to win an argument to finding precious metals at your local second-hand store. The life hacks that are “so good” also include ways to prevent potentially aggravating people from getting in your face and the power of learning how to smile.



Here are 17 life hacks that are “so good” that people almost didn’t want to share them. (Thankfully, they did.)

1. That's where it goes

"If you look for something and it's not in the first place you look, THAT IS THE PLACE WHERE IT GOES. So when you find it, put it in the first place you looked for it."

2. How to argue (from a lawyer)

"When arguing about something, ask what their interests ('why' they want/don’t want something) are rather than their position. Usually, it’s easier to come to an agreement if you approach a conflict from this angle. Also, conceding a minor point during the argument 'you’re right about x' and 'I don’t disagree with y' tends to lessen the guard of your opposition and thus making it easier to get what you want out of them."

"I just saw something similar to this. If you and another person are arguing over who gets a lemon, you’ll eventually agree to just cut it in half. But if you ask why they want the lemon, you’ll find out one person wants to juice it and one person wants the skin for zest for a recipe, so each party can have 100% of what they want if they just take the time to see the 'why' of the other person."

"Whenever arguing with someone and it's going round and round trying to come up with a compromise, ask 'what does a solution look like to you?' Half the time they got no clue the other half is something you willing to compromise. It has cut down every single argument in my relationship."


3. How to stop a 'Karen' in their tracks

"I work as a receptionist, and my supervisor always asks me how our guests like me even if they are rude to other staff. My trick is when someone is checking in that looks like a typical Karen I always give them a compliment like 'where did you get your nails done? They are so pretty!' It usually works."

"I used be in maintenance for a huge school district. Whenever I was sent to a school where the office staff had a reputation for being cranky complainy crabby pants, I had a whole song and dance I'd run through when I got there. I'd walk into the office with a big smile, acting like the nicest person in the world, just a big dumb puppy who has no idea this is a "crabby admin" school. Then, when the timing is right, I'd let slip the casual comment of 'I really like coming to this school, everyone is so nice!' It's like a magic spell. The grumpuses always tried to live up to my unrealistic view of them, and were always at least reasonable, if not downright pleasant. It always felt like cheating, but really all I was doing was setting an example they wanted to follow."

4. Buy the same socks

"Find a pair of socks you really like. Buy like.... 40 pairs. Throw out your other socks. Now you can just grab any two socks and have a pair. Get a hole in one? Throw it out. You still have tons of others of the same."



5. The 3 hobbies rules

"I was thinking about what I need to be happy, and came to the conclusion that I need 3 hobbies: one creative, one physical, and one social. For social, I do board game nights weekly. This ensures I have something planned for the week to look forward to. For physical, I go to the gym, which, to be honest, I hate and have always hated, so I took up bouldering too. This is a great hobby because it can also be very social, and it's also just fun. And for creative, I dabble in things like drawing, knitting, and other needlework. I also throw in reading here too, because it can make you think and imagine. If you play D&D, this can also combine with social. I've been extremely happy since figuring out for myself. I've always had a list of hobbies I want to try, but this helps me organize them."

6. Learn how to smile

"A genuine looking— and I say looking because it doesn’t need to actually be genuine, smile. It will disarm people making them more comfortable around you, you’ll be more likely to get dates, you’ll be more likely to get jobs, you’ll be more likely to make friends, your dating profile will look better, your wedding pics will look better, hell your social media will look better. Learn how to smile. Look it up on YouTube."



7. The bathroom test

"Being in the restaurant business for over 20 years now, if you go into a restaurant and their bathrooms are dirty, then get out of there. It means most likely, of course, not always, that their kitchen is just as dirty. If the general manager doesn’t care about what the guests can see, he’s definitely not caring about what the guest can’t see and that gets you such a higher chance of food poisoning."

8. Wake up a little earlier

"Getting up consistently to start your day at a reasonable hour - regardless of intent to go anywhere or do anything - really does give you extra time in the week to get sh*t done."

9. How to make someone like you

"To get someone to like you, ask them two questions, then after the second one, validate their response. Repeat. That's it. It's alarmingly effective. Just ask them any question about something they seem like they might want to talk about. hobbies or job or whatever. if you dont know anything about them, ask about the best place they've traveled, or would like to go if they haven't traveled. then, whatever they say, just ask a follow-up question about it. Then whatever they say to that, just say something positive that supports their opinion. it can be as simple as 'that seems really cool' or something more specific that shows you've been listening and agree/support them."

10. Visualize your life

"Ask yourself what your ideal happy life would look like, and then isolate each aspect as an objective to work towards, always breaking down larger goals into smaller doable steps. Makes things seem less daunting and gives you feasable objectives to work towards."



11. Know the goal of the conversation

"Before entering any difficult conversation, conflict, apology, request, etc, you should know what your goal of the conversation for yourself is. What do you want the outcome to be? How do you want this interaction to end? How do you want both parties to be left feeling? Know this first, then practice running both sides in your head a few times. Crucially, this prepares you direct the conversation for the outcome you want, instead of just saying what you really want say. Know your goal, and you’re way more likely to reach it."

12. Thrift store jewelry

"Second-hand shops—check the jewelry because, funnily enough, the volunteers working there probably don't know much about gold. I make a fair good chunk of cash a year going through jewelry at thrift stores."

13. Bake bacon

"Piece of parchment paper over any type of pan. Bam, no mess. People boiling it in skillets on the stove are living in the stone age."



14. How to talk to new people

"When the conversation starts to die or needs a pick me up, ask what the people around you did that day. It sounds really simple, but not a lot of people get asked this question regularly, so it’s likely you’ll get a genuine answer and make the person feel like you’re interested and invested. This is my hack for work events, family you haven’t seen in ages, or a friend of a friend you just met and your mutual friend just left you two alone. I think it’s safe to assume it would be a good icebreaker on a first date as well."

15. Self-control through pain

"The only thing in control of your mind and body is you. Go stand out in the rain and fight the instinct to flee inside. Find your zen. Overcome your base instincts and then figure out how to apply them to the rest of your life. Hunger, anxiety, self-esteem issues, etc, all things to overcome, master, and control."

16. Easy investment

"Invest (a portion of ) every paycheck into an S&P 500 index fund. It’s easy, the fees are incredibly low (nobody seems to understand mutual funds that are not index charge a fee! and if you do it consistently you will end up with money. Proven through depressions, recessions, and large-scale wars. That is all."

17. Know their name

"When a customer service person (finally) answers the phone and says 'my name is [NAME], [something something] how can I help you?' I make a note of their name and say, "Hi [NAME], how's it going/how are you doing?" in a friendly, conversational tone before introducing myself & my issue. Customer service is a soulless job and involves dealing with a lot of belligerent people, so setting the tone and establishing a rapport by mentioning their names makes it a little more personal and tends to lead to better outcomes. Can probably expand this to all interactions, tbh."

This article originally appeared in January.
Image credits: SNL + Wikicommons

Lady Gaga's surprisingly touching "Pip" song is a massive hit with fans

Leave it to Lady Gaga to record a song about an animated mouse for a comedy sketch on Saturday Night Live,, and have it, arguably, be one of the best songs ever—at least according to her fans.

Gaga was both host and musical guest on the show this past week to great reviews. Vulture writer Ben Rosenstock wrote, Gaga's "easy charm and commitment make for one of the most animated episodes of season 50." Adding, "What comes across here, even more than Gaga's talent, is her sincerity—an idea tonal match for a series of pretty strange (complimentary) sketches."

In one such sketch (actually a short by Dan Bulla), Gaga stars as a high school student who urges a tiny mouse named Pip to enter a weightlifting contest. It begins with a teacher (played by James Austin Johnson) asking students to get their parents to vote yes on the referendum to get the roof fixed. He then reminds them about the school's weightlifting competition and urges everyone, no matter their gender or size, to participate.

saturday night live snl GIF by Lady GagaGiphy


But when a bully (played by Marcello Hernandez) says, "Yeah, except Pip," the camera pans over to an adorably sad mouse at a nearby desk. Everyone laughs—except Gaga, who sighs heavily.

But it gets even more delightfully absurd. It then segues into a music video wherein she sings Pip a song about how, if he sets his mind to it, he can achieve anything he wants in life. At one point, Pip walks on a moving globe, while Gaga sings, "The other kids may laugh at you, and treat you like a fool. But I believe you can win the weightlifting contest at our school."

As Pip looks up at her with soulful eyes, Gaga belts, "Pip, don't cry. All you have to do is try." This leads to a Rocky-inspired training montage, underscored by Gaga's very specific lyrics: "You've gotta start out small, Pip. With just a little bit of weight. Push yourself to the limit. That's how you get from good to great. Hit a heavy bag, that's just an old hotdog. Don't use steroids, because that would be wrong."

A chyron appears: "One week later," and Pip gives it his all. Check out the video for the rest, but disclaimer: The video contains some comical violence at the end and may not be suitable for children.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Immediately, people went online clamoring for more. On the r/LadyGaga subreddit page, an eager fan posted the thread, "Petition to make Pip the next non-single album."

Most of the comments under the official Saturday Night Live channel on YouTube agreed, with one exclaiming, "Now let's make that song number 1 on the Billboard 100." Another shared they were truly moved: "This is so funny and sweet at the same time; it brought a tear to my eye."

Another common theme among commenters? They can't get enough. "Pip needs a movie." Someone else joked, "So what's your favorite Lady Gaga song?" "It's... well, complicated."

One of the most upvoted comments sums up the communal reaction: "MOTHER GAGA serving us VOCALS."