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3 dudes teach their friend a hilariously harsh lesson about being a gentleman on a date

We love dudes being bros.

young men talking animatedly
famousbachelors/TikTok

Guy's friends set him straight on his first date faux pas.

Who says chivalry is dead? Times have changed and gender roles have evolved, in many ways for the better. But there's still something appealing about some aspects of old-fashioned chivalry and manners. Holding the door, pulling out a chair, buying flowers.

In fact, kindness and respectfulness are top traits women have been shown to value in long-term partners. So it's safe to say that if guys aren't displaying these virtues on the first date, there might not be a second one.

There's been an overwhelming amount of discourse about whether or not younger generations of men know anything about chivalry. Are they not being taught? Not observing it in their fathers? Not holding each other accountable for acting like jerks? Maybe all of the above!

One group of guys, at least, is out to prove that no, chivalry is not completely dead, and Gen Z men are not as hopeless as we think. In a recent viral video, the guys of FamousBachelors take a friend to task when he wonders why a girl hasn't texted him after their first date.


famousbachelors/YouTube

"You didn't walk her to her car?" one asks the friend in question.

"Walking to the car, that's not a big deal right?" he responds.

"That's what went wrong! That's why she didn't text you back!"

The friend goes on to explain that it was cold and dark and her car was far away in the other direction from his, so he didn't feel like he wanted to walk her. And that's when his friends lose it.

"THAT'S WHY YOU NEEDED TO WALK HER TO THE CAR!" they all scream.

"It doesn't matter if your car is on the other side of the Sahara desert, you walk her to her car!" one shouts. "Especially at night!" another adds.

The debate is hilarious and as wholesome as it gets — the dudes get really worked up at their friend's obliviousness and are beside themselves that he would make such a basic miscalculation. Watch it for yourself here:

@famousbachelors

Date gone wrong 🤦‍♂️

The clip went mega viral with over 15 million views and thousands of comments.

Commenters were overjoyed with what has to be the most heartwarming and wholesome date recap you'll ever see:

"At least he’s in the right friend group," one said.

"The one guy 'he’s saying he’s not interested'… YES! That’s what the lack of consideration shows," observed another.

And a few more noteworthy responses poured in:

"We’re hoping to get to our car safely. He’s hoping to get to his car 40 seconds earlier."

"I love these guys holding him accountable but DUDE, I walk my FRIENDS to their car, that's the STANDARD for EVERYONE."

Role models for positive masculinity are few and far between. That means it's up to guy friends to hold each other to a higher standard.

Let's be honest, the most visible men that young guys are looking up to these days are hardly bastions of chivalry and manners. Until that changes, men have to start holding each other accountable.

That can take on a more serious tone, like calling out misogyny, sexist jokes, and harassment when we see it in our everyday lives.

It can also mean playfully challenging our friends to just do better, like the FamousBachelor boys do: "Dude, have some manners!'"

Turns out that being a half-decent guy is actually not that hard, but even still, we all mess it up sometimes. Having a good group of dudes around you to let you know (in hilarious fashion, ideally) when you've dropped the ball is something we all need.

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Education

She fell in love with endangered porpoises at age 7. Now, she's on a mission to save the ocean.

True

When Rachel Heimke was seven, she realized what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Little did she know a $40,000 BigFuture Scholarship would help her pursue her dreams.

Heimke and her parents were living an unconventional lifestyle, to say the least. The summer after she completed first grade, she and her parents boarded a sailboat and sailed from their hometown in Alaska down the Pacific Coast. The family would spend the next two years traveling on the water, passing Mexico and then sailing across the world to Australia before returning home. It was on the sailboat, watching whales and dolphins breach the water under their boat, that Heimke realized her life’s purpose.

“I was really obsessed with these little porpoises called Vaquitta, who only live in one tiny area of water off the coast of Mexico,” she recalled. “When I learned about them as a kid, there were only 22 left in the wild. Now, there are only ten.” Despite her interest, Heimke was never able to actually see any Vaquitta on her trip, both because of their inherent shyness and because they were so critically endangered due to detrimental fishing policies in the area. “That was my wakeup call,” she says. “I’ll probably never be able to see this porpoise, and I don’t want that to be true of other species.”

Now a young woman of 23, Heimke is realizing her childhood dream of ocean conservation by recently graduating with a Bachelor’s degree in ocean sciences and enrolling in a grad program in Canada to study science communication. Heimke is well on her way to achieving her childhood dream—but she acknowledges that none of this would have been possible without her ocean adventures as a child, the support of her parents, and significant financial support.

At 18, when Heimke was deciding where to study ocean sciences, she stumbled upon an opportunity from BigFuture, College Board's free college and career planning site. The opportunity was the BigFuture Scholarship, which provided students the chance to win a $40,000 scholarship by completing six action items on the website. Heimke was intrigued, since she didn’t need to provide an essay, her GPA, or any test scores to enter. Her eligibility was also not tied to citizenship status or family income, so she decided to give it a shot.

“One of the action items was just going on the BigFuture site and creating a list of colleges I was interested in,” said Heimke. Another item required her to apply for financial aid through FAFSA—something Heimke was planning to do anyway. Every completed action item gave students more chances to win the scholarship, so Heimke completed all six action items quickly.

Months later, Heimke’s parents ushered her over to a call over Zoom, where she met a BigFuture representative who had some surprising news: She was one of 25 students who had won the $40,000 BigFuture college scholarship. Each year she would receive $10,000 in scholarship funding, which would cover her entire tuition bill for all four years of schooling.

“That experience taught me that it’s really important to not give up on your goals and just go for opportunities,” said Heimke. “I never thought I would win anything, but I’ve learned it's worth applying anyway. Even a small scholarship of $1,000 can pay your rent for a month,” she said. “And If you write an essay that takes an hour and you win $5,000, that’s probably the most money per hour you’ll ever make in your life.”

The tuition money made it possible for her to attend college, and for her to apply to graduate school immediately afterward without any financial burdens.

“Now that I’m in graduate school and paying for rent and a phone bill and graduate school tuition, it’s truly a blessing to not have student loan debt on top of that,” Heimke said. Because of the BigFuture scholarship, Heimke doesn’t need to pay for her graduate program either—she’s able to fund her education with the money her parents saved by not having to pay for her undergraduate degree.

One of the biggest blessings, Heimke said, was not needing to delay graduate school to work or find extra funds. With climate change worsening, entering the workforce becomes increasingly important over time.

“I’m not sure exactly what I’ll do with my degrees, but I hope to have a lot of different jobs that ultimately will work toward saving our ocean,” she said.

As a child, witnessing marine life up close and personal was life-changing. Heimke’s goal is for future generations to have that experience, as she did.

To learn more and get started, visit bigfuture.org/scholarships.

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Identity

A woman with a disability gets real about dating and sex. She's funny and honest.

Her candor is delightful, her message is important, and her jokes are great

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

Most people are missing out on a huge portion of the dating pool.


"So just recently I went out on a Match.com date, and it was fantastic," begins Dr. Danielle Sheypuk in her TEDx Talk.

If you've ever been on Match.com, that opening line might make you do a double take. How does one get so lucky?

Before you get too jealous, you should know things quickly went downhill two dates later, as most Match.com dates ultimately do. This time, however, the reason may not be something that you've ever experienced.

Intrigued? I was too. Here's the story.

a photo of Dr. Sheypuk smiling.

Gorgeous!

Photo from Dr. Sheypuk's Instagram account, used with permission.

She's a licensed clinical psychologist, an advocate, and a model — among other things. She's also been confined to a wheelchair since childhood. And that last fact is what did her recent date in.

Over a romantic Italian dinner on their third date, Sheypuk noticed that he was sitting farther away from her than usual. And then, out of nowhere, he began to ask the following questions:

"I've been thinking, how are you gonna be a mother? How are you gonna do the duties that's gonna be required of you? And even as wife — how ... I'm not sure how this is gonna work."

Used to this line of inquiry, she had the perfect quippy reply: "Well that's simple: I'm just gonna hire someone like every other New Yorker."

But despite her witty answer, he'd already made up his mind. She never heard from him again.

"I tried to convince myself that this was like any other relationship, but deep down I knew the reality. Who wants to date someone in a wheelchair?"

Dr. Sheypuk knows that that single question is evidence of a really serious problem—not just on the dating scene, but in society in general.

Society has factored out an entire group of potential romantic partners: people with disabilities.

a glamorous photo of Dr. Sheypuk in her wheelchair.

Talk about a million-dollar smile.

Photo courtesy of Danielle Sheypuk.

In her words:

"We are completely left out of the dating picture. Society, media included, seems to ignore the fact that we have the same emotional needs and desires as everyone else. Is this injustice born out of the concept of the poster child and his or her duty to induce pity to raise money?

Or maybe it's a conclusion drawn from mainstream porn where we have actors performing, like, gymnastic stunts with the stamina that none of us have of bucking broncos and jackrabbits.”

Um, yes. So much yes. She continues:

"The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

The silent message: The more in shape your body, the better the sex. The unspoken conclusion: If you have a disability, you are too sick to have sex.

"Now let's look at the continuum in our society where sexual is measured. On the one hand, we have humans that are the ultimate sex appeal object. So on that end, we have Victoria's Secret models, Playboy centerfolds, people like that.

On the complete opposite end, we have people with physical disabilities. And it seems like the more we deviate from this ultimate sex icon, the more desexualized we become, the more taboo the topic, and the more damaging the consequences.

Now, for most people there are quick fixes, right? We have Hair Club for Men, Botox, Spanx, butt implants. But for people with disabilities, there are no quick fixes. There is no magic pill."

And we are hit hard.”

It's important to note, too, that while someone may not be disabled now, it doesn't mean they will never experience or develop a disability. Due to injuries, illnesses, and chronic conditions, research shows that the chances of becoming disabled are startlingly on the rise.

Watch the rest of Dr. Sheypuk's talk to hear her important insights about what dating and relationships are like when a person has a disability—and how much of society is limiting itself.


This article originally appeared nine years ago.

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Here’s a military trick that can help you fall asleep in 2 minutes

It was created to help fighter pilots.

via DVIDShub / Flickr

No better time to grab a little shut eye.

For those in the military, sleep can mean the difference between life and death. But shut-eye can be very hard to come by, especially during active conflict.

The military method regained public attention thanks to a post by writer Sharon Ackman on Medium.com. The U.S. Navy Pre-Flight School developed a scientific method to help its pilots fall asleep. Through this technique, 96% of the pilots were able to fall asleep in two minutes or less.

If pilots can fall asleep surrounded by war, you should be able to use it to knock out in the comfort of your bedroom.

Here's how to do it:

Step 1: Relax in your seat

military men in sleeping bags on a mountain

Sleeping in difficult environments.

via DVIDShub / Flickr

Given the space restraints of a typical plane, the pilots were taught to sleep in a seated position. They put their feet flat on the ground, while relaxing their hands in their laps.

Breathe slow, deep breaths while relaxing every muscle in your face and letting your forehead, cheeks, mouth, tongue, and jaw go limp.


Step 2: Relax your upper body

Let your shoulders drop as low as you can. Allow the muscles in your neck go lifeless.

Starting with your dominant side, let your bicep feel like it's falling off your body. Then move to your forearm, hand, and fingers. If a muscle isn't relaxing, tense it first, then let it go loose.

Slowly exhale to release tension.


Step 3: Relax your lower body

Tell your right thigh muscle to sink, then move down your leg, saying the same thing to your calf, ankle, and foot. Your leg should feel like it has sunk into the ground. Then move on to your left leg.

The final step is to clear your mind for ten seconds. You can do this by paying attention to your breath as it moves through your nostrils or holding a static image in your mind.

Once your body is relaxed and your mind quiet, you should slip away into darkness.

It may sound too good to be true, but this technique is real and effective. Try it out and get ready for refreshing sleep no matter what's happening in your life.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Pop Culture

Tired of 'hacks?' Here are 20 of the best life tips sourced from 21.9 million real people.

All of them are simple and practical. A few might just change your life.

via Arjun Mahadevan/Twitter

Arjun Mahadevan's life pro tip Twitter thread

Arjun Mahadevan gave the world a gift when he crowdsourced the best “life pro tips” from nearly 22 million people. He shared the top 20 in a Twitter thread that’s got over 619,000 views. Mahadevan sourced the tips from the Life Pro Tips subforum on Reddit, which has been running since 2010.

Mahadevan is the CEO of doolaHQ which he calls the “business-in-a-box” for LLCs.

Mahadevan labeled his advice “20 life tips you wish you knew when you were 20,” but they are helpful for everyone regardless of age. They’re useful for anyone who is in a relationship, has a job, or wants to stay sane in an aggravating world.

Many ideas involve reframing how we judge others to see them with more compassion. Mahadevan also has some advice for professionals to prevent them from making embarrassing mistakes or wasting other people’s time.

Sometimes the simplest change in behavior or perspective can drastically affect our lives. Here are Arjun Mahadevan’s 20 life tips you wish you knew when you were 20:

1. "If you’re stuck on an annoying call, put your phone on airplane mode instead of just hanging up. The other person will see 'call failed' instead of 'call ended.'"

2. "When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. That way when you receive spam/advert emails, you will know who sold your info."

3. "Always tell a child who is wearing a helmet how cool you think their helmet is. It will encourage them to always wear it in the future."

4. "When you don't have all the facts, try to give people the most generous reason you can for their behavior. Annoyingly slow driver? Maybe it's a mom with a birthday cake in the back. This mindset will gradually make you less reactive and more compassionate."

5. "Do not try to be the man your father would want you to be. Be the man you would like your son to be. It more clearly defines your own convictions, desires, goals and motivates you to be your best."

6. "When a friend is upset, ask them one simple question before saying anything else: 'Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it?'"

7. "After a bad breakup, do 10 things that your ex would never do with you. You'll feel better and realize how much of yourself was being held back."

8. "Before you give your child a unique name, try it out first. Use it on food orders, reservations, appointments where applicable, etc. It’ll give you a glimpse of what they’ll deal with when they’re older and could prevent future issues."

9. "If you need to cancel a hotel reservation but are unable to because of a 24-hour policy, call the company and move your reservation to a later date. Call back within a few days and cancel for no charge."

10. "If you tell someone you need to talk to them, for the love of God give some indication of what you need to talk about, or at least that it's not bad news."

11. "Never send a work email when you’re emotionally compromised. Type it up, save it as a draft, and walk away. Ideally, sleep on it. You’ll make a smarter choice when you're not heated."

12. "Don't just let kids win at games. You can slow it down, you can teach them strategy, but keep it real. Someday, they will beat you fair and square, and it will be a moment they always remember with pride."

13. "When cooking things on aluminum foil, first scrunch the foil up, then lay it loosely flat again out on your baking tray. The juices will stay put—and the food will not stick to the foil half as much, if at all."

14. "If you think of a good idea, write it down. Your brain will try to trick you into thinking you will remember it later, but it's a liar! Therefore: Write it down!"

15. "It takes 4 minutes a day and almost no cost to maintain dental hygiene. It takes a lifetime and a lot of money to correct it. 2-minute brush and mouthwash in the AM, 2-minute brush and floss in the PM."

16. "Don’t wait until you have 'time' to start a fitness program. Because then when you get busy again, you’ll stop. The best time to start is actually when you’re busy. Learning how to fit it in when times are tough means you’ll stick with it over the long haul."

17. "When using text messages or IMs for business, say everything you need to say in the first message. Don’t just say 'hi' or 'hey' or 'are you there' or 'are you busy.'"

18. "Instead of feeling that you've blown the day and thinking, 'I'll get back on track tomorrow, think of each day as a set of four quarters:

• Morning• Midday• Afternoon• Evening

If you blow one quarter, you get back on track for the next quarter."

19. "Many problems in marriage are really just problems with being a bad roommate. Learn how to be a good roommate, and it will solve many of the main issues that plague marriages. This includes communicating about something bothering you before you get too angry."

20. "Ask yourself 'what does it matter to me' the next time you find yourself judging someone for their clothing or hobbies. The more you train yourself to not care about the personal preferences of other people, the more relaxed and nicer you become as a person."

This article originally appeared last year.

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Guy shares a simple, 2-minute solution to friendship distancing, calls it 'game-changing'

The "Wednesday Waffle" has become a weekly tradition for friend groups around the world.

Photo credit: Canva

The "Wednesday Waffle" is taking hold of friend groups everywhere.

One of the realities of adulthood is that friendships morph and change, even if we don't want them to. As friends who were once close embark on individual life adventures—moving away from home, finding jobs, getting into relationships, starting families—it's inevitable that friendships will shift and some distancing will happen. That's life, but that doesn't mean that we can't make an effort to maintain connection and create ways of keeping in touch with the people we care about.

In the olden days, friends would correspond with letters, but technology gives us many more ways to stay in touch. Unfortunately, smartphone use can easily overtake our lives, and figuring out how to utilize technology in a healthy and productive way can be tricky. But a video explaining a "game-changing" weekly tradition that provides a simple, quick way to keep up with our friends' lives has people wanting to create a "Wednesday Waffle" themselves..

"As I get older, I'm getting used to the fact that I don't hear from my friends as often as I used to," says Kirx Diaz. "And I understand, life is lifing, and I live 3,000 miles away from a lot of my closest people, but it's something that I've really had to come to terms with."

"However," he adds, "about a month and a half ago, we were introduced to this concept called the Wednesday Waffle, and basically what this is is a two-minute video life update talking about what we've been up to that week, how we've been feeling, and kind of everything in between. And I can't lie, it's been game-changing. The group chat's always going off, we know who's going through it, who's doing well, who we need to check up on throughout the week. And for the first time in a long time, I actually feel closer to my friends now than I did when I was living back home."

The Wednesday Waffle idea originally went viral from another guy on Instagram, who explained how he and his group of three friends send one another brief video updates every Wednesday. As @nonpractisinggenius explains, "waffling" with friends is "a game changer for maintaining long distance friendships." Some of the benefits he points out include:

- It takes just two minutes
- Fights feelings of loneliness
- Brings joy to the week
- Deepens connections
- Accommodates different schedules / timezones

When Americans hear "Wednesday Waffle," they may assume that it's something like Taco Tuesday, but "waffle" in this case is an Australian slang term for talking. "It’s just Aussie talk for speaking at length about nothing in particular. (think jibber jabber, yammer, natter, babble)" the originator explains.

It wasn't until he showed his partner a "waffle" from a friend who had recently had a baby that he realized how impactful it was. "She was really blown away by the fact that we'd been sending these Wednesday Waffles to each other every Wednesday for a couple of years," he said. She just thought it was such a great thing for friends to do to stay connected, and it made me kinda think about it. I've been taking it for granted, but it is such a good thing and I look forward to their video every Wednesday. So maybe this is something other people can introduce to their life."

People in the comments have been sharing their experiences starting up a similar habit with their friends. It doesn't have to be on Wednesdays and it doesn't have to be any specific length, but keeping the videos short and sweet help it become a sustainable practice.

"Put this vid in a group chat with 5 of my boys… everyone participated and it was a pretty great, and connective experience. I hope we are able to keep it up. Except we waffled on a Thursday."

"I sent this video to my 2 best friends in our group chat about a month ago and we have been doing this every week since. It’s been amazing because they both have crazy travel schedules with work and we have been able to see so much from each other in such a short time. Thank you for posting this, I can’t wait to see how we evolve it moving forward. ❤️"

"Started Wednesday waffles with the boyz this morning. Thanks for the suggestion."

"Dude! Me and my mates started this a few weeks ago. The absolute joy it brings us all every week is irreplaceable. Thanks for the inspiration. Legend. 🙌"

Whether you're wanting to keep in touch with one friend or a handful of them, a weekly "waffle" on a specific day of the week might just be the simple solution you've been looking for. Friendships do change over time and life legitimately makes keeping up with friends a challenge, but we don't have to resign ourselves to losing touch with people we care about when we have the technology to stay connected. All it takes is a few minutes and the ability to press record and send.

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People share the 18 things that are a 'subtle sign' someone is really smart

"They effortlessly communicate complex concepts in a simple way."

via PixaBay

Albert Einstein

One of the strangest things about being human is that people of lesser intelligence tend to overestimate how smart they are and people who are highly intelligent tend to underestimate how smart they are.

This is called the Dunning-Kruger effect and it’s proven every time you log onto Facebook and see someone from high school who thinks they know more about vaccines than a doctor.

The interesting thing is that even though people are poor judges of their own smarts, we’ve evolved to be pretty good at judging the intelligence of others.

“Such findings imply that, in order to be adaptive, first impressions of personality or social characteristics should be accurate,” a study published in the journal Intelligence says. “There is accumulating evidence that this is indeed the case—at least to some extent—for traits such as intelligence extraversion, conscientiousness, openness, and narcissism, and even for characteristics such as sexual orientation, political ideology, or antigay prejudice.”

Reddit user Gisgiii posed a question to the AskReddit subforum: “What is a subtle sign that someone is really intelligent?”

The answers painted a clear picture of how smart people behave: They tend to be great communicators who understand their audience and are more concerned with getting things right than being right.

Here are 18 of the best answers.

1. They draw wisdom from multiple sources.

"They draw wisdom from multiple sources. Wait but that might be more wise than intelligent... But I guess those two tend to be seen together a lot," — Puzzlehead-Engineer

2. They know their audience.

"They can switch up the way they talk to match the person they're talking to without sounding condescending. They listen to how others learn and explain it in that person's language of understanding," — Wynonna99

3. They develop a keen sense for their job.

"I used to work with a doctor - Tom Howard - and the day I realized he was a genius was the time he guessed every single condition a patient of mine had based on minute pieces of information about him," — Yodei_Mon

4. Curiosity.

"They are curious about everything. To be intelligent you need to be knowledgeable and you can't be knowledgeable if you are never curious," — soup54461

5. They're great at conveying ideas.

"When they explain something they make you feel intelligent," — gwoshmi

6. Considerate questions.

"They spend time thinking before asking a question," — ParkMan73

7. They make hard ideas simple.

"They effortlessly communicate complex concepts in a simple way," — joculator

8. They know what they don't know.

"They know when their knowledge ends and say something to the extent of 'i don't know and anything else i say on this topic is ignorant speculation,'" — blutoboy

9. They ask great questions.

"They can ask really good questions."

"Edit: to anyone not understanding what mean, I’m talking about people who ask “really good questions”, not just any questions, really good ones. I don’t know how one would achieve this skill(I know I haven’t)," — milkmanbran

10. They don't pretend to know everything.

"They aren’t afraid to say they don’t know the answer to a question," — xchernx

11. They change their minds with new information.

"They admit to changing their mind about something," — FarAwayAdventure

12. They pivot well.

"They apply knowledge from one realm into a new and relevant situation," — soubestitch

13. They are open-minded.

"They can genuinely consider an idea which opposes their worldview without necessarily accepting it," — paidshill29

14. They use analogies.

"People who use analogies to explain concepts to others. It’s a form of code-switching and integrating concepts on the fly and is a clear indicator someone is both socially and conceptually intelligent," — SwimmerAutomatic2488

15. They don't argue.

"I think intelligent people are more willing to calmly debate/discuss, rather than argue. Like, you explain to them why you disagree, and they listen to you and ask further questions about your viewpoint before offering a different perspective; as opposed to an unintelligent person, who would just resort to insults when other people disagree with them," — AngelicCinnamonBun

16. They learn from mistakes.

"Admitting when they're wrong and being willing to learn from mistakes," — siyl1979

17. A sense of humor.

"Humor. I think that truly funny people are often very smart and cognizant of the different ways an idea can be humorous on several levels. They also know their audience. I think the difference between say a Jeff Foxworthy and a Dave Chappelle and a Bo Burnham is their audience and their interests," — biscuitboi967

18. A love of learning.

"They say they love learning and they learn something new every day. Then they listen more than talk," — throwingplaydough


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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