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Don't be fooled: Most Americans agree on abortion, guns, and other heated issues.

Political divisions are fierce, but there's still a lot Americans agree on.

In June 2018, a shocking poll from Rasmussen Reports made headlines claiming that 31% of likely voters think there will be a Civil War in the United States in the next five years. A country can't get more divided than that.

But what if those divisions are more about politics as sport than actual policies?

On a number of major issues that supposedly divide the country, there's surprising unity: like marriage equality, gun control, money in politics, and even reproductive rights.

With the upcoming 2018 midterm elections and the 2020 presidential election, there will be seemingly constant noise about where we disagree. And many of those disagreements are fundamentally real.

But if political leaders governed more closely to what the people are actually saying, some of our biggest debates might not seem so drastic.

Nearly everyone agrees: There's too much money in politics.

As President Donald Trump and his administration consider their next nominee for the Supreme Court, Americans seem to be speaking in unison on at least one issue: Corporate money in politics is bad for democracy. A Daily Beast/Ipsos poll in June and July 2018 found that 64% of Americans want that new justice to limit the influence of money in politics. This is a direct counter to outgoing Justice Anthony Kennedy, who wrote the court's decision on Citizens United, the infamous ruling that opened up the floodgates of corporate cash.

In fact, when Trump was running for president, he tapped into this sentiment saying he didn't need to take money from lobbyists or corporate interests. Of course, that's not how he's governed so far. If he were, it might be one of his more popular ideas.

Photo by David McNew/Getty Images

There's unity on other issues, too.

Things are complicated in America right now. We're less proud of our country but overwhelmingly satisfied with our collective freedoms, Gallup said in July 2018.

Yet, when it comes to fundamental issues of morality, and even seemingly divisive issues like abortion, we may not be as divided as it seems. Consider some recent evidence:

The partisan divide is real. But on the issues, there's real common ground and opportunity for progress.

There's plenty to argue about in politics. A healthy debate, including the right to dissent, is a fundamental part of what makes democracy flourish.

However, with nearly all the focus on what divides us, it's becoming increasingly important to admit that we can agree to agree on some issues.

On this Fourth of July, maybe it's time to celebrate our freedom from unnecessary divisions.

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Family

Dad camping with his kids shared the handwritten note left on his car from a fellow camper

More of this, please.

Photo credit: Canva, Note image via RCampR6/Reddit

A dad got a sweet note from a fellow father after camping with his kids.

One of the hardest parts of being a parent is never being sure whether you're doing a good job or totally bombing it. If you're conscientious enough to even wonder if you're a good parent, you probably are, but parenting entails a million little choices and interactions, and there's always a lingering voice in your head saying, "What if you're really screwing this whole thing up?"

Reassurance and encouragement are always appreciated by parents, but not always received, which is why a note from one camping dad to another has people celebrating the kindness of anonymous strangers.

"You are killing it as a dad."

Someone on Yosemite Reddit thread shared a photo of a handwritten note with the caption, "To the man who left this thoughtful note on my windshield at Lower Pines Campground this weekend, I extend my heartfelt gratitude; your acknowledgment of my efforts to be a good father means a great deal to me."


Windshield Note.
byu/RCampR6 inYosemite

The note reads:

"Bro,

I camped in the spot behind you last night. Let me just say, you are killing it as a dad. First off, I watched your wife guide you in as you backed up your trailer and nailed it on the first try without any yelling. Then your kids unloaded from the truck and were mild-mannered and well behaved. You told stories around the campfire and I had the pleasure of listening to the sounds of giggles and laughter.

From one dad to another, you are killing it. Keep it up.

P.S. Whatever you cooked for dinner smelled delicious!"

How often do we share these thoughts with strangers, even if we have them? And who wouldn't love to get a surprise bit of praise with specific examples of things we did right?

Everyone needs to hear a compliment once in a while.

So many people found the note to be a breath of fresh air and a good reminder to compliment people when we feel the urge:

"That would make any daddy's eyes water."

"It’s always nice, as a guy, to get a compliment."

"I complimented a guy's glasses at work (I'm also a guy, and btw they were really cool glasses, I wasn't just being nice) and now he keeps trying to tell me where he got his glasses and how I should get some. But I'm just having to be polite because I already have glasses and I'm not in the market. I finally had to tell him I'm not going to buy them lmao I just like them on him.

Made me feel like that's the first compliment he's had in years because he can't stop talking about it. Also I mainly liked the glasses because I think he's cute but he really thinks it's just the glasses haha jokes on him that cute bastard."

via GIPHY

"I was in the store with my wife and one of our 'adopted nephews' yesterday (we’re close friends with his parents and we’ve known him and his brother since they were newborns and 2yo, respectively). A woman came up to me at checkout while my wife was running out to the car and said 'I’m not sure what your family relationship is here, but I just have to tell you how nice and refreshing it is to hear all the laughter and joy from the 3 of you. You both seem like such a good influence on him and it warms my heart.' It’s such a small thing but as a dude, I can’t remember the last time someone gave me a compliment in public and it made my freaking day."

"10/10 letter. The and not yelling part gave me a good chuckle lol."

"We need so much more of men getting such heartfelt and sincere compliments. Thanks for sharing. ❤️"

"I’ve never considered leaving a note, but when I see a harmonious family with good parenting, it’s healing for me. My childhood was awful."

"Such an awesome compliment! Even though I don't have children myself, I like to remind my friends too that they're doing great & it brings them happy tears."

via GIPHY

"This made me cry. I love that you are getting your 'flowers.' My dad sucked, I’m so glad you are one of the good ones."

"This made me cry too. It’s so hard to be a human. Let alone a parent. Getting a good job sticker every now and then really means a lot these days."

"I'm a big bearded guy and I would cry if I got this note. More people like this, please."

The best part of this story is that no one knows who the dad who wrote the note is, not even the dad who shared it. It wasn't written for clout or notoriety, it wasn't to get attention or make himself look good. No name or signature, just an anonymous act of kindness to uplift a stranger whether he needed it or not.

We all need to hear or read kind things said about us, and sometimes it means even more coming from an anonymous stranger who has nothing to gain by sharing. A good reminder to share it when you feel it—you never know how many people you may move and inspire.

This article originally appeared last year.

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Health

Neuroscientist shares the trick to stop worrying about what other people think of you

Imagine how freeing it'd be to stop caring what other people think.

via Canva/Photos

A young woman is feeling rather insecure.

Everyone cares what others think about them because it’s part of our nature. We want to be loved and accepted by our social pack or tribe because it’s essential to survival. Historically, those excluded from their tribes have faced having to live on their own and lost access to valuable resources. In some ways, as humans, social excursion is tantamount to death.

However, caring too much about other people's thoughts can also become a huge problem. Obsession with other people’s opinions can lead to actions that contradict our core beliefs. It can also lead to low self-esteem and prevent people from doing what they like because they fear being judged.

This can be incredibly challenging in today’s world when we have to deal with other people’s opinions online. Whether it’s a comment on an Instagram post or scrolling through Facebook and reading someone's views on politics or pop culture, we are constantly faced with other people’s opinions.

How do we stop caring about what other people think?

How do we step back and develop a healthier relationship with other people’s opinions? Daniel Glaser, a renowned neuroscientist, says we can start by changing the stories we tell ourselves. “I have this person in my head called the ‘critic’ or the ‘editor,’ and at my worst, I’m incredibly good at conjuring up the person who would be most critical of my performance,” he told Vogue. “As a species, we’ve evolved to tell stories about ourselves, to create narratives. We make things real, and then those things change how we act.”

insecure, other people's opinions, young womanA young woman looking in the mirror.via Canva/Photos

Glaser says that to stop worrying about other people’s opinions, we need to imagine someone being very pleased and positive with ourselves. “The trick isn’t to not care what others think, but to care about the right people,” he says. It’s like when you tell yourself not to think of an elephant; that’s all you can think of. Instead, think about someone being pleased with your Instagram post before you put it up or think about someone loving your art before you show it to people.

“If you’re trying to plan projects, imagine a specific person saying a really cool thing…so the trick isn’t to stop yourself thinking of other people but to vividly conjure up someone who’s delighted with what you’ve done,” Glaser continues.

The trick: Think about someone thinking of you positively.

How to stop caring about other people's opinions

Mark Manson, the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k” is a bit of an expert on not caring what other people think, and he has a different way of seeing things than Glaser. He believes that if we care too much about what other people think, we need to start elevating our game and doing things that are so important that other people’s opinions don’t matter.

insecure, other people's opinions, young womanA young woman doesn't care about a man's opinion.via Canva/Photos

“When you have something truly important in your life, something you’re willing to be ridiculed for, that’s when you’ll stop caring about others’ opinions. Ironically, that’s also when people start respecting you,” Manson wrote on his blog. “Imagine a burning building with a baby trapped inside. If you were the only one who could save the baby, you wouldn’t care what others thought. You’d run into the fire without hesitation. That’s an extreme example, but the principle applies to everyday life.”

Manson suggests asking yourself: What’s so important in your life that you’re willing to be ridiculed for it?

If you’ve been wondering how to stop caring what other people think, you’ve already taken an important first step in confronting the issue. But understand that there is a reason why you care what others think; the key is to find a balance where those opinions won’t stop you from being yourself and doing what you love.

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psychology
Joy

They've been in love since the fifth grade. What better place to propose than where it all began?

It's like a real life rom-com!

Facebook

"It was always you."

We don’t often meet the love of our life in fifth grade. But for Simon Jenkins and Peyton Wynn, romantic destiny struck early.

At the ripe old age of 11 years old, Simon and Peyton met at Johnson Elementary School in Pinson, Alabama, where they sat together in Patti Hathorn’s class. Their relationship continued to grow with each passing year, lasting even after graduation. Ten years later Simon and Peyton both turned 21, and they're still each other’s special someone.

boy and girl in swimsuits A photo of Peyton and Simon, already in love.scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Fitting, then, that 10 years later, Simon and Peyton would celebrate their enduring love by getting engaged where it all began.

WVTM 13 anchor Rick Karle shared that Simon's mother Traci, “an event planner with a flair for the artistic,” suggested the nostalgic setting for his 2022 proposal. Getting Simon’s approval, she quickly laid out handcrafted signs, flowers and candles, making everything look extra special for the sweet moment.

A couple at their proposal

Who knew a classroom could be so romantic?

scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net

The next part of the surprise would be entirely up to Simon. He told WVTM that the ruse had been getting a call from Traci as the couple made their way to a dinner date in celebration of their 10-year anniversary. She had “forgotten something at her PTA meeting at Johnson Elementary School,” and pleaded for them to go retrieve it. Nice one, mom.

Simon and Peyton made their way to the elementary school and found themselves in the lavish display. “You should have seen Peyton’s face when she walked into that classroom,” Simon told WVTM.

Judging by the photos alone, the proposal seemed to be something out of a Hallmark movie.

Couple get engaged in classroom

Spoiler alert: She said yes

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

For Peyton, it was the surprise of a lifetime. “I finally got to say yes to the love of my life. It was like something out of a dream,” the bride-to-be told People.

To make the moment that much sweeter, their fifth grade teacher was also there. How’s that for a satisfying full circle moment?

Patti Hathorn (now Patti Armstrong Hagwood) made her own endearing Facebook post, which read:

“For any teacher that is asked or wonders ‘Why we do what we do’. My response is this: We get to watch more than just academic growth in our classrooms. We watch laughter. We watch friendships blossom and grow. We watch as these relationships continue to develop, and often we get to witness them last a lifetime. And, in some instances, we are privileged to be a part of this continuance…It was such an honor to be asked to be present as Simon Jenkins proposed to his 5th grade love. It is another moment that reminds me of my ‘why’ as I continue to love ‘my’ children each year.”

couple celebrating their engagement

I'm not crying, you're crying!

scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net

Hagwood continues to teach and welcomed another class that Fall. Coincidentally, that’s when Peyton and Simon will officially tied the knot, according to People.

Congratulations to the happy couple who gave us all a wholesome love story to smile about today. I guess the adage is true: when you know, you know.

This article originally appeared three years ago.

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wholesome
Internet

How to honestly answer the question 'what do you think' without hurting someone's feelings

Let's be transparent, we don't always think a friend's new haircut is great.

Photo credit: Canva

How to answer 'what do you think' without hurting feelings

When someone makes a change to their appearance, they are usually hoping for a positive reaction from those they care about. Let's be honest, even if you're not the kind of person that seeks approval from others, compliments can boost your day. But it's impossible to like every single change to someone's appearance because we all have different styles so what do you say if you hate the new look?

Most people may think it's best to say nothing if they're not directly asked which is great advice if you're talking about someone you don't know well. Saying nothing when your significant other leaves the house with brown waist-length hair and comes back with a blonde bob might end in hurt feelings and a night on the couch.

Instead of lying about how you feel about the change they've made you could simply ask them how they feel about it first. If they love it, then you can simply say, "I'm so glad you love it" while pointing out something positive but truthful, like "the blonde really brings out the color in your eyes." The person will walk away feeling complimented and you can feel good about not lying, though it's not always that easy.

Episode 5 Nbc GIF by Will & GraceGiphy

Sometimes an excited friend or partner will directly ask the question, "what do you think" after revealing a change or new purchase. This is generally where the anxiety comes in because you don't want to be the one that deflates their balloon but you also don't care for the change. Seems this dilemma has caused many discussions with varying answers on how to properly answer it.

Bad Hair GIF by Nat Geo WildGiphy

In response to someone asking what to say about a bad haircut their friend just received, one person says in part, "if you are close enough to criticize each other, then tell him in a way that suits your friendship level. But in general, I think it’s better to mirror your friends feelings. Especially when it comes to a persons appearance. So if they like it? you love it! If they hate it? you dislike it but it’s not their fault, so it’s fine! But you can gently add in some constructive hints or tips. for example; 'it’s good, I think it will look even better when the sides grow out,' 'the volume is great, it will look even better when it’s a bit longer in the front,' 'i like this, I thought your old cut was also great— maybe next time you could try something that’s a mix of both.'"

Episode 1 Nbc GIF by The OfficeGiphy

Another person responds, "A good rule of thumb for good manners when discussing someone's appearance is never criticize anything that can't be fixed in 5 minutes or less. Given that he has to grow out this cut, and that will take at least weeks or months, let it go. If he likes it and it's what he wanted then don't rain on his parade because you don't personally find it flattering."

"It’s easier to tell someone politely but it might be harder for them to accept the fact that questions that are none of their business, such as looks, weight, whether or not someone is pregnant or planning on having children to name a few are none of anyone’s business, including yours," someone says after an internet user anonymously inquired about disliking a friend's plastic surgery results.

Al Pacino Oscars GIF by The Academy AwardsGiphy

"Unless, and I emphasize this, the person is a very close friend and asks for an intimate opinion, do NOT criticize how they look especially if you think it is overdone," another says in response.

Gauging someone's reaction to their altered appearance will help guide your response if asked directly. Being honest without shattering the person's confidence in their looks can be a delicate line to walk, especially if the person is particularly sensitive. Hopefully trying one of the options listed will spare feelings while keeping relationships in tact.


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Humor

People are bonding over these supposedly weird food combos

It's way more than pineapple pizza—and a lot of it's down to geography

Photo credit: Canva

A prompt asking for people's favorite "weird" food combos yielded some fascinating results.

It’s become an Internet rite of passage: perplexing strangers with your unusual food takes. Last year, Upworthy stirred up one such conversation on Instagram, asking people to share their "favorite 'weird' food combo." The results ranged from "yeah, we’ve heard that one before" (pineapple on pizza) to "wait…what?"

Granted, I’m a man of somewhat "conventional" food tastes—the most adventurous I get with my burger is adding bacon to it, and I have no interest in startling my palate with peanut butter in this context. That said, I express no judgment toward any of these responses. if anything, I admire the willingness to live one’s truth. Here are the food combos that surprised me the most:

Surprise Seinfeld GIFGiphy

  • Macaroni and cheese with ketchup
  • Tuna fish sandwich with mustard
  • Refried beans and fried plantains
  • Steamed broccoli and mayonnaise
  • Sugar and mustard sandwich
  • Chocolate ice cream and Cool Ranch Doritos
  • Cold dill pickles and cold milk
  • Peanut butter, mayo, and tomato sandwich

It’s fine—take a minute to regroup.

Welcome back! One interesting thing about these food debates is that they make you reassess why certain combos sound "weird" in the first place. It’s might not be because the flavor profiles don't mesh; there's a good chance we just can’t imagine these foods on the same plate. One reason, as illustrated in the Instagram comments, might be geography. The example "French fries dipped in malt vinegar" also struck me as quirky, but other people clarified that it’s a common combo in both the U.K. and Canada. ("Clearly not been to England," one user wrote. Another: "How my Canadian family eats them!")

Someone else suggested "Apple pie with sharp cheddar cheese," but lots of people noted that it’s common where they grew up. "There’s an ice cream shop where I live that makes a cheddar apple pie [flavor] every September," one user wrote. "It’s incredible, and I wait all year for it!" Another called it "a classic [old-fashioned] treat, in New England anyway." Finally: "Growing up in Hawaii, I thought everyone ate apple pie this way. Got mocked for it when we moved to the mainland."

Thanksgiving Eating GIF by BuzzFeedGiphy

It was actually difficult to find any food combos that weirded people out. But one in particular ("corn flakes with orange juice") did rise to the occasion, especially after Upworthy clarified that the OJ is indeed being subbed in for milk. (It’s with no pulp, by the way.) Two favorite responses to culinary confusion: "I’m calling the police" and "I’ve dialed the 9 and the 1…"

Take a look at the full Instagram post and see which combos spark your curiosity. For me, it’s definitely "Louisiana hot sauce on popcorn"—I will definitely be trying this out next time, and I'm a little mad that I hadn't thought of it.

In other Internet food news: Last year, Upworthy rounded up 29 controversial food takes, as initiated by an X thread. Naturally, "pineapple on pizza" made an appearance, but there were also debates centered around sweet potatoes, candy corn, coffee, boneless chicken wings, and staple fast-food restaurants like Burger King, Taco Bell, and McDonald’s.

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