upworthy
Democracy

I did a roundtable with the Vice President about abortion. Here are 4 things that surprised me.

The conversation was important, but in some ways the experience was nothing like I expected it to be.

Annie Reneau, Joy Reid, Kamala Harris

Upworthy associate editor Annie Reneau chatting with Joy Reid and Kamala Harris in an MSNBC roundtable

It's been a very weird week.

I'm a writer and editor—not a medical professional, legal expert or political activist in any way—so imagine my surprise when I got a message from Vice President Kamala Harris's senior advisor inviting me to join a roundtable discussion on MSNBC for the one-year anniversary of the Dobbs decision that overturned Roe v. Wade. I thought someone might be pranking me, but nope. The invite was real.

Apparently, someone had read an op-ed I'd written years ago about how it's possible to be morally pro-life but politically pro-choice and felt that my voice would add something to the discussion. The panelists included the lead plaintiffs in the Dobbs vs. Jackson Women's Health Organization and the Texas Abortion Ban lawsuits, two activists involved in the fight for reproductive rights, a Texas OB-GYN who has seen the implications of the Dobbs decision in his own practice…and me.

I felt remarkably average among these experts on the issue, but I think that was the point. My view represents millions of average American voters who may feel conflicted about where they stand on abortion morally and legally and are trying to reconcile their personal or religious beliefs with what they think our laws should be. Additionally, as someone with no political affiliation or loyalty to any party, I could speak about grappling with this issue without any partisan pressure or influence.


I'd like to point out that I'm wary of most politicians and well aware of biases in the media, so despite feeling honored to be asked, I was a bit hesitant to participate. I certainly didn't want to contribute to the partisan divide if I could help it. But because abortion is such a complex and nuanced issue, dedicating an entire hour of prime time to a discussion about it sounded like a good way to help people gain a better, broader understanding. So less than 24 hours after being asked, I was on a plane to Dallas to join the roundtable, which filmed the next day.

The full roundtable discussion is worth watching (and can be found on Peacock, with clips available on MSNBC), but I wanted to pull back the curtain and offer a peek behind the scenes because there were some things about the experience that genuinely surprised me.

1. I had no idea ahead of time what questions they were going to ask

I assumed participants in these kinds of events would be prepped ahead of time with what questions they would be asking and have ample time to prepare. This was not the case for me, and according to the fellow panelists I chatted with, it wasn't for them, either. I used my travel time to prepare a few talking points I felt I could address somewhat intelligently based on my op-ed (since that's what prompted the invite), but all I knew before arriving for the taping was that we were going to be discussing the Dobbs decision.

The only preparation we got was about 30 seconds before each segment was filmed. Joy Reid briefly explained how that segment would be structured with something like, "Okay, in this segment, we're going to talk about [some element of the abortion issue]. I'm going to ask [panelist] about [XYZ] and then pivot to [panelist] to talk about [XYZ]. But feel free to chime in if you want to respond to something. We really want this to be a conversation."

That was it. The entire prep. I was surprised—but also delighted—by how unscripted it was. No one asked me to make any specific points. I didn't feel any expectation or pressure to even agree with what was being said. Obviously, they knew where I stood based on what I'd written, but they had no idea what I was actually going to say ahead of time.

2. The conversations on-screen were no different than the ones being had off-screen by all parties involved

I think people who are skeptical of media may think that things said for the camera aren't as genuine as one would hope. Maybe that's the case sometimes, but that wasn't my experience at all here. In the green room and during the commercial breaks while filming, the conversation about the issue continued just as it did on screen, just without a host guiding it. The genuine sincerity of the discussion filled me with hope.

For instance, the OB-GYN panelist I was chatting with in the green room told me that in his 30 years of practice, he'd never had a patient come to the decision to terminate a pregnancy lightly, and we talked about the importance of keeping compassion and empathy central to the conversation about abortion. That was just our casual conversation. In the hours I was there, I overheard people from the crew to the other panelists to Joy Reid and the VP talking behind the scenes about all the things we talked about on screen. There was nothing contrived or fake about what you see in the roundtable discussion.

3. There was no atmosphere of eliteness

Despite the presence of Secret Service agents everywhere and despite being a high-profile cable news show involving the Vice President, the whole thing after going through the metal detectors felt mostly…normal.

All the people I interacted with, from the folks arranging my travel to the people headlining the show, were so down-to-earth. Everyone was genuinely nice and repeatedly expressed their gratitude to all of us for being there. I kept thinking, "Wait, aren't I the one who's supposed to feel grateful for this opportunity?" I didn't expect to feel so at ease. There was an air of professionalism, of course, but not at all a stuffy or high-pressured one.

I mean, I chatted with Joy Reid about her hot flashes while we were waiting for Kamala Harris to arrive, for goodness sake. It was obviously a serious and highly organized event with lots of moving parts, but it also felt casual and relaxed, which made it easy not to feel too nervous.

4. I came home to an immediate example of why this issue is so important

The night after I came home from Dallas, I had friends over for dinner. One of them works with pregnant women and told me about a mom who was in her second trimester and very ill. Her bloodwork looked horrible and her health was going downhill fast. It turned out she had a very rare fetal anomaly that was creating her health problem, and she needed to terminate the pregnancy or risk a dire outcome. The anomaly meant there ultimately wasn't going to be a way to save the fetus.

Her previous OB-GYN who had delivered her other children was in Idaho, and though he wanted to help her, he couldn't, because what she needed was an abortion. She wasn't at death's door yet (though technically could crash at any time), so despite the obvious need to end the pregnancy, his hands were tied by Idaho abortion laws. She then had to jump through a bunch of hoops to get to a provider in Washington who could help her, all while her health continued to be in danger.

There are countless stories like this that illustrate the very real implications of the Dobbs decision on real people, including people who don't actually want an abortion but need one. There's a tendency to try to make this issue black-and-white, but it's not. There are unique circumstances surrounding every pregnancy and every childbirth, and real women are harmed when lawmakers insert themselves into healthcare decisions with no medical expertise or training.

It's vital that we keep the moral debates separate from the legal debates on this issue. Pregnancy is a healthcare issue, deserving of medical privacy. No lawmaker needs to be in the room when a woman and a doctor are making decisions about her healthcare. People can debate the morality of those decisions all day long, but keep the law out of it.

I wasn't necessarily surprised, but I was happy to see first-hand how, at the highest levels of this unfortunately politically-charged issue, the concern behind the debate isn't about politics, but about the real people negatively impacted by the court's decision.


Pop Culture

William Shatner describes the profound grief he felt when he finally went to space for real

The OG Captain Kirk's real-life space experience holds important lessons for us all.

"William Shatner" by Gage Skidmore is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

William Shatner's trip to space wasn't what he expected.

Statistically speaking, the number of humans who have traveled into space is insignificant. But the experience of leaving our home planet and venturing into the great beyond is incredibly significant for the individuals who have actually done it.

One of those fortunate humans is actor William Shatner, who spent three years pretending to hurtle through space in his iconic role as Captain James T. Kirk on the original "Star Trek" series. As captain of the USS Enterprise, Captain Kirk was dedicated to exploring "strange new worlds," seeking out "new life and new civilizations" and boldly going "where no man has gone before."

Naturally, Shatner has spent a lot of time pondering what it would be like to actually experience leaving Earth, and when he took the opportunity to join Jeff Bezos' Blue Origin trip to space in October 2021 at age 90, he was able to compare how his expectations met up with reality.

Shatner shared an excerpt from his new book with Variety, and it reveals that his initial reaction to being in space was surprisingly dark.

"I love the mystery of the universe," Shatner wrote. "I love all the questions that have come to us over thousands of years of exploration and hypotheses. Stars exploding years ago, their light traveling to us years later; black holes absorbing energy; satellites showing us entire galaxies in areas thought to be devoid of matter entirely… all of that has thrilled me for years…"

However, as he looked out the window of the spacecraft—a real one, not a screen on a film set—and looked in the direction opposite Earth, "there was no mystery, no majestic awe to behold," he wrote. "All I saw was death. I saw a cold, dark, black emptiness. It was unlike any blackness you can see or feel on Earth. It was deep, enveloping, all-encompassing."

As he turned back toward "the light of home," he saw the opposite. "I could see the curvature of Earth, the beige of the desert, the white of the clouds and the blue of the sky. It was life. Nurturing, sustaining, life. Mother Earth. Gaia. And I was leaving her."

Then he had a stunning revelation: "Everything I had thought was wrong. Everything I had expected to see was wrong."

Again, this is a man who has spent much of his life thinking about space—not as an astronaut or astronomer or astrophysicist, but as a human being stuck on the Earth's surface, struck with wonder about what's out there. He explained what he had been wrong about:

"I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis of that connection I had been looking for between all living things—that being up there would be the next beautiful step to understanding the harmony of the universe. In the film 'Contact,' when Jodie Foster’s character goes to space and looks out into the heavens, she lets out an astonished whisper, 'They should’ve sent a poet.' I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us. Leaving that behind made my connection to our tiny planet even more profound.

"It was among the strongest feelings of grief I have ever encountered. The contrast between the vicious coldness of space and the warm nurturing of Earth below filled me with overwhelming sadness. Every day, we are confronted with the knowledge of further destruction of Earth at our hands: the extinction of animal species, of flora and fauna . . . things that took five billion years to evolve, and suddenly we will never see them again because of the interference of mankind. It filled me with dread. My trip to space was supposed to be a celebration; instead, it felt like a funeral."

Shatner explained how this "sense of the planet’s fragility takes hold in an ineffable, instinctive manner" for many astronauts when they view Earth from orbit. It's part of the "overview effect"—the profound shift in perspective that comes with seeing our collective home from a distance. With no visible borders between nations or peoples, it becomes clear that our divisions are all manmade, which can change the way we view humanity as a whole.

The experience left Shatner with renewed conviction to focus on what we share in common.

"It reinforced tenfold my own view on the power of our beautiful, mysterious collective human entanglement," he wrote, "and eventually, it returned a feeling of hope to my heart. In this insignificance we share, we have one gift that other species perhaps do not: we are aware—not only of our insignificance, but the grandeur around us that makes us insignificant. That allows us perhaps a chance to rededicate ourselves to our planet, to each other, to life and love all around us. If we seize that chance."

Just beautiful. Since most of us will never leave Earth, we can take inspiration from those who have, acknowledge our essential oneness and do everything in our power to protect our beautiful, life-giving home.

Shatner shares more of his reflections on life on this planet and beyond in his most recent book, "Boldly Go: Reflections on a Life of Awe and Wonder."


This article originally appeared two years ago.

@drjasonisfresh/TikTok, Representative Image from Canva

Dr. Jason Singh explains the pro and cons of showering at night and in the morning.

Dr. Jason Singh, who has all kinds of medical insights on TikTok, recently weighed in on the topic he joked was “more debatable than pineapple on pizza.” That debate would be whether it’s better to shower in the morning, or at night.

You would think the “right answer” would be largely up to personal preference, much like which way to face while showering and whether or not to snack in the shower…two previous hot button issues online. But according to Singh, there are definitive pros and cons to each option, which could settle the debate once and for all.

Singh says in the clip that overnight, “your body can accumulate germs such as bacteria and fungus” through “processes like sweating and shedding skin cells,” all of which help create odor. When you shower off this residue in the AM, it brings your “skin microbiome back to a more hygienic baseline.”

Makes a pretty compelling case for morning showers, doesn’t it? Just wait.

Singh went on to say that nighttime showering has “ ‘three things going for it.”

One, it helps release melatonin to help induce sleep. Plus, when your body adjusts from a warmer temperature to a cooler temperature, that also helps your body prepare for a good night’s rest.

The second benefit is that it washes away “the entire day’s grime.” Which, let’s be honest, can be very therapeutic sometimes. And lastly, showering at night is the ‘better way to help hydrate your skin,” making it a better option for those with sensitive or dry skin.

Singh’s bottom line: “Overall night-time showers have more benefits to it but morning showers have really one benefit and that’s better hygiene.”

@drjaysonisfresh

More debatable than pineapple on pizza

♬ original sound - Dr. Jason Singh

Singh encouraged viewers to weigh in with their own opinions, and they didn’t hold back.

“You will never convince me to go to bed dirty,’ person wrote. Another argued “The worst part about night time showers is long, wet hair. I hate going to bed with wet hair!”

There ended up being some pretty funny responses as well. One person joked that they opted for morning showers since it helps them “Get my head together. Generate a to-do list. Fight with pretend people.”

Another person noted that timing preferences can be dictated by their schedule, commenting, “might showers during the work week and morning showers on the weekends.”

Many argued that two showers a day was the actual best option. That way you don’t go to bed dirty, and you're fresh for the morning.

Obviously, showering at any time consistently is perfectly find, but Dr. Singh offered some valuable food for thought.

Of course, you could always follow in this viewer’s footsteps, whole wrote:

“I prefer to roll around in dust like a chinchilla.”


This article originally appeared last year.

Photo by April Walker on Unsplash
Retired elementary school teacher shares biggest parenting mistake she saw during long career

Few people understand kids better than elementary school teachers. Not only do they spend all day with kids, but teachers get to know their students' parents pretty well, too. From parent-teacher conferences to field trips and snack days, it's a collaborative relationship meant to foster their child's development. (And let's be real: what parent hasn't gotten a call from their child's teacher to discuss their *questionable* behavior in the classroom?)

Teachers are full of wisdom about kids, which is why TikToker @elenanico22 interviewed her mom Lisa, a retired elementary school teacher, in an advice video. She asked her mom to share her insights on the question: "What's one thing you saw people messing up with their kids?"

And her response was simple: "They didn't enjoy them." Elena asks her mom to elaborate, and she goes on to share, "Kids are fun. You’ve got to enjoy them. They wanted them to be something that — most of us aren’t exactly what other people want us to be — so enjoy the kid you have."

@elenanico22

Lisa says it like it is #momlife #momsoftiktok #momwisdom #momtok #momhumor #parenting #parentingwisdom

Of course, Lisa fully accepted her own daughter, and turns to Elena in the video and says, "I enjoyed you."

And the comments were flooded with positive replies from parents to her response. "Kids aren’t a chore, they’re a joy. 🥰," one wrote. Another added, "Parents are stressed, and they don’t realize how quickly childhood goes by."

ParentsKids Love GIF by Pudgy PenguinsGiphy

The post also resonated with other teachers and professionals who work with kids. "This is so true. I work in childcare and lots of parents literally cannot stand their kids. They get so angry when we close. They can’t wait to drop them off and pickup last minute. Breaks my heart," one commented. Another wrote, "Toddler teacher. Same. So heartbreaking. I saw it a lot when I worked with highly educated parents with high incomes." And another teacher chimed in with, "So true. As a elementary teacher sometimes playing Barbie Dreamhouse with my 4 y/o is the last thing I want to do but I always do because I know I'll be wishing for it one day ♥️." And another professional shared, "As a pediatrician, I agree."

The video concluded with another piece of strong advice from Lisa, who also dropped this nugget: "Never send your kid to school with carrots." The reason? She explained a story involving a prominent doctor at her school who was "super strict" with what his kids could and could not eat at school.

Carrotshamster GIFGiphy

"So of course what did the kids want? Everything they couldn't," she said. "You are bound to have kids who are going to have food issues."

And plenty of parents offered their thoughts on this. "Omg I love her! Please post more. As a mom I’m enjoying time with my kids, loving their personalities and so anti food restriction teaching them intuitive eating. Because I wasn’t taught those things," one commented. Another shared, "The food statement is so true. My son shared that a boy from his class (who has food restrictions) steals the other kids snacks at school! 🙈❤️😂"

Sergio Reis/Youtube

Odds are you’ve heard Wally de Backer, aka Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used to Know.” It’s the Australian musician’s biggest commercial hit, selling more than 20 million copies since its release in 2011, making it one of the best-selling digital singles of all time. Not to mention it inspired several amazing covers, which you might have also stumbled upon.

The music video, in its poignant simplicity, is every bit as iconic. Gotye stands naked facing the camera, as featured singer Kimbra faces him. As they sing, they are slowly “painted” into and out of the background of geometric shapes using stop motion animation. There’s a very Wes Anderson feel to it that adds so much to the story told in the song, making it all the more memorable.

All this to say…it would be a challenge to recreate the magic that’s so inherent in the original. And yet, one dance company has clearly understood the assignment.

All this to say…it would be a challenge to recreate the magic that’s so inherent in the original. And yet, one dance company has clearly understood the assignment.

Netherland based dance troupe CDK recently went viral for their highly stylized movement performance to the well known art pop ballad.

As thousands of viewers were quick to note, it’s not just the incredible dance moves that make this performance so captivating. It’s a killer combination of choreography, camerawork and costumes that make the piece impossible to turn away from.

“This is pure art,” one person wrote. While another added, “I think I’m going to watch it everyday for the rest of my life.”

Take a look for yourself:

CDK - Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye

This group is clearly at the top of their game, by how easy they make it all look (like, I've already convinced myself that I can pull off those moves). But what’s more evident is that they enjoy what they’re doing to the nth degree.

To find even more of CDK's performances, follow them on Instagram.

Fun fact #1: Gotye allows small independent projects, like student films—and probably this dance piece—to use his music free of charge. "If someone wants to use it commercially I look at what the budget is and the creativity of the project," he said, according to News.com.

Fun fact #2: CDK isn't the only group to have recently breathed new life into the song. A few weeks ago, an electronic remix of the song titled "Somebody (2024)," created by electronic music producers Chris Lake, Fisher, and Sante Sansone, debuted. Much like it's predecessor, "Somebody (2024) is topping the charts.


This article originally appeared last year.

Malakai Boyah has the voice of an angel.

Sometimes a person opens their mouth to sing and what comes out is not at all what one would expect. We’ve seen it countless times on various Got Talent stages, but one unexpected young singer not only surprised the judges and audience of Britain’s Got Talent with his voice—he brought many of them to tears.

Malakai Bayoh is a teen from London. For his BGT audition in early 2023 when he was just 13 years old, he sang “Pie Jesu,” the Andrew Lloyd Webber classic in Latin that helped launch Charlotte Church’s career. "Pie Jesu" is a beautiful hymn that requires a soprano voice and includes some challenging vocal high jumps. When it’s done well, it has a mesmerizing, otherworldly quality to it. Malakai did it well.

With the voice of an angel, he stunned everyone in the BGT studios as well as the folks watching at home. People in the live audience wiped away tears. The famously hard-to-impress Simon Cowell couldn’t stop smiling as Malakai sang, and at one point, it looked as if judge Bruno Tonioli (who is delightfully prone to dramatics, to be fair) might actually faint.

Watch:

People on YouTube haven't been able to stop raving about Malakai's performance.

"I would say this performance automatically entered into the top ten golden buzzers of all time," wrote one commenter.

"As a trained singer, watching agt and bgt usually distresses me, but my husband loves it. I was in the bedroom when i heard Malachi's voice pouring out if the living room like an angel. I've heard Pie Jesu performed many times, but this was not a performance, this was sound straight from the Creator to touch our souls. A message of love," shared another.

"I'm a trained singer, and a music teacher by profession, and sang this song as a young performer myself. I can say with absolute certainty this is the most beautifully I've ever heard this song sung. Not only is he a TRULY gifted singer, he sings with poise. With proper technique, proper breathing, proper everything. His vowels are PERFECTION, the smoothness with which he sings is truly impeccable. The amount of control it takes to sing slowly, that high.... this boy is truly a gift from God. Thank you for gracing our ears with your voice little one," shared another.

"I have seen it 10 times in a row and I have cried all 10 times…definitely a voice that comes from heaven," shared another.

As Simon Cowell said, "It was like being in heaven." It seems that everyone is in agreement.

Since his initial BGT audition, Boyah has continued to wow BGT judges and fans with his classical singing. You can watch his performance of "Caruso" here and enjoy his tuxedoed performance of "O Mio Babbino Caro" here. This kid in definitely going places.

In fact, Malakai has recorded his debut album, appropriately called Golden. Watch out world, here comes Malakai.


This article originally appeared two years ago.