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Do these 6 holiday stress hurdles sound familiar? Here's how you can avoid them.

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Hallmark

Many people say the holidays are the happiest time of year. (And they should be!) But for others, the season is also the most stressful time of the year.

Whether you’re dealing with family, time, or money issues — or all three — it can get very overwhelming very quickly.

Luckily, Hallmark has some simple, effective tips on how to spread smiles, not stress, over the holidays. Check out some of their suggestions to show you #CareEnough this time of year:


Holidays have you stressed? Here are some helpful tips on caring for yourself and others. #CareEnough

Posted by Upworthy on Saturday, December 17, 2016

Where does all that holiday stress come from in the first place? And what exactly can we do about it?

Sometimes, a little outside perspective is just what the doctor ordered. We enlisted the help of Dr. Sharon Kelly, a clinical psychologist, and Dena Patton, a certified life and business coach, to break down what causes holiday stress, what we can do to manage it, and how to keep the spirit of the season strong.

Here are six different hurdles that many people find themselves facing:

1. Feuding with the family.

Where it comes from: “I think most people that I see, there’s some family triggers, family history, family dynamics, interpersonal conflicts. That creates a lot of anxiety for people,” says Kelly. There's no doubt that our disagreements and attitudes towards family can get in the way of the celebration. And the more we hold on to them, the more we allow them to reach a boiling point.

What you can do: It all starts with you. “Choose to bring joy, not stress, to the party,” Patton writes in an email.

“The opportunity is in your hands,” adds Kelly. “You change the meaning that you attach to [the holidays], you change your response to it, you change your intention for the day. If you know that a certain person is going to really get under your skin, how do you go into that situation?”

2. Money, money, money! (For gifts, gifts, gifts.)

Where it comes from: “There’s all this anxiety around what to get people,” says Kelly. “Is this the right gift? Are they going to like this? Is this going to show how I feel about them?" When that stress hits, some people think an expensive gift will do the trick. Kelly adds, "They actually spend more even if it’s not something that you want.”

What you can do: “Have a budget and stick to it,” writes Patton. “Do not go into debt out of feeling obligated.” When it comes down to it, simply being prepared and knowing ahead of time how you’re going to plan your attack will ease all your emotions.

3. Holiday party obligations piling up.

Where it comes from: First off, there can be too many parties this time of year. And second, many times, these parties become more about impressing others and less about the actual gathering. “I know people that have these big, beautiful parties because they’re really good at it,” says Kelly. “But it’s, like, way over the top, and they have all this anxiety, no one appreciates it.”

What you can do: If throwing or going to a big party brings you joy, go for it! Just remember to do it for the right reason. “Pick your battles here,” writes Patton. “Practice your boundaries and don't say yes to every party. Make this year the [one] you are doing things that really bring you joy and cut out the things that bring you stress.”

4. HUGE crowds and looooong lines.

Where it comes from: The stress that long lines bring boils down to one simple idea: waiting until the last minute. Holiday crowds and shopping are a totally different animal, and remembering that will save you so much time in the long run.

What you can do: “Shop online or go shopping in off peak hours when crowds aren't present,” writes Patton. “Planning ahead in this area really helps.” Plus, the beauty of the modern world is that we can do all the holiday shopping we need without ever leaving the house.

5. All that food around you!

Where it comes from: If you’re cooking the food, it’s pretty easy to see how all the stress can creep in. As the number of diners rises, so does the pressure to get things right. If you’re just eating, though, try not to overdo it. All that indulgence and excess may come back to stress you out later on.

What you can do: “Have a plan and work the plan!” writes Patton. “If the plan is to indulge, then go for it, but if you promised yourself not to gain 10 pounds then never go to a party hungry.”

6. More-than-full to-do lists.

Where it comes from: “The bottom line is that we are busy — actually we are over-scheduled!” writes Patton. “We pile on more things to our schedule, our money and our emotional state and we go into overload.”

What you can do: If you're feeling overwhelmed, Kelly has a simple suggestion. "I would have them just step back in a quiet moment on their own," she says. "Really think about if they were really happy and [if] they really were going to enjoy the season ... how would they design it? What choices would they make?"

Whichever combination of hurdles apply to you, address the stress by taking a breath, planning ahead, and really thinking about what the holiday spirit means for you.

Ultimately, if we understand what brings us joy and make a conscious effort to really pay attention to that, then good things will follow. In fact, take a breather once in a while if you need to. If there's one S-word that should describe the holidays. It's special — not stress.

"Remember that this season isn't about gifts, stress, or social media," notes Patton. "It's about faith, family and making memories. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the busy-ness that we forget what really matters."

via Meg Sullivan (used with permission) and Canva/Photos

A volunteer hands out food in a food bank and Meg Sullivan shares her dad's kind gesture.

When we consider people who have had a positive impact on the world, we often think of those who have made grand gestures to improve the lives of others, such as Martin Luther King, Jr., Greta Thunberg, or Mahatma Gandhi. Unfortunately, that type of effort is out of reach for the average person.

However, O Organics would like to remind everyone that they can positively impact the world through small, consistent acts of kindness that add up over time. Much like how a small creek can create a valley over the years, we can change lives through small, consistent acts of kindness.

O Organics is dedicated to the well-being of all by nourishing people everywhere with delicious organic foods grown by producers who meet USDA-certified organic farming standards.

Upworthy's Instagram page recently posted a touching example of everyday kindness. Meg Sullivan shared how her father, Tom, peeled oranges for her lunch just about every day from kindergarten through high school. But on the final day of her senior year of high school, he sent his 17-year-old daughter unpeeled oranges with a touching note about how she’d have to start peeling them for herself.



“It’s Time Baby Girl,” he wrote on a wikiHow printout on how to peel an orange with a drawing of himself crying. For the father, this daily ritual was about more than just making lunch; it was about showing that he cared by going the extra mile. “I could have put money on her lunch account,” Tom told Today.com. “But it’s one of those little things I thought was important, that she knows somebody’s taking the time to take care of her.”

The small, daily gesture taught Megan an essential lesson in kindness.

The post reminded people how their fathers’ small acts of kindness meant so much to them. “My dad peeled my oranges until I graduated high school, too. Now, I peel my daughter’s oranges and will for the next 7 plus years,” Katie wrote in the comments. “Love this. My dad peeled mine, too. When I moved out, he gave me an orange peeler gadget,” Mary added.

o organics, albertson's giving backO Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list.via Albertson's

Did you know that every time you go to the supermarket, you can also change the world through small gestures? O Organics not only allows you to feed your family delicious and nutritious organic food, but each purchase also gives back to help people and communities facing food insecurity.

Through contributions from customers like you, O Organics donates up to 28 million meals annually. The company’s contribution is essential when, according to the USDA, 47.4 million Americans live in food-insecure households.

O Organics has a wide array of foods and flavors covering almost everything on your shopping list. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal,” Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products, said in a statement.

O Organics now offers over 1500 items, from dairy products such as eggs and milk to packaged meats and breakfast staples such as cereal bars, granola and oatmeal. You can also enjoy affordable organic produce with O Organics’ fresh salads and fruit.

Everybody wants to make the world a better place. With O Organics, you can feed your family healthy, organic food every time you go to the market while paying it forward by contributing to the company’s efforts to end food insecurity nationwide. That’s a small, daily gesture that can amount to incredible change.

Canva Photos

These dang kids and their dang screens! I'm loathe to admit that I've had this thought a lot lately myself. When it comes to planning our kids' summer break, a part of my brain assumes they'll just want to play outside with their friends most of the day; making up games, riding bikes, coming inside to grab popsicles. The stuff I did at their age. But in reality it hasn't worked out like that. Most kids in the neighborhood are either in camps, or they're inside watching TV or playing video games.

When I try to encourage my kids to go outside more, I get a lot of grumbling and push back. Is it possible this generation has just... forgotten how to play? Are the phones and tablets to blame for this strange phenomenon? One dad recently had the brilliant idea to take his kids to the park, take away their phones, and force them to go play. The results were... not exactly what he was hoping for.


Kids these daysGiphy

"It was a nice day outside," Charles Lavea told Newsweek. "I thought we could go get food and eat at the park. I took my daughters' devices, phones and iPads, off them and left them at home. I wanted them to get some sun and fresh air, so we went."

In footage shared by Laveas on TikTok, you can see what happened next. HIs two girls are shown sitting on swings, forlornly swaying back and forth, not knowing what to do with themselves. You can tell they're just disassociating until dad's weird little experiment is over. They would rather be anywhere else in the world. Specifically, they'd like to check in on what's going on on their phones. It's all over their faces and in their sad, hunched over body language.

Watch the comical video here:

@lifewithlaveas

This generation man 🤣🤣🤦 I remember growing up all we did was play at the park with the kids in the neighbourhood 🤷 #lifewithlaveas #girldad #funnymoments #trendingsound #titanicflutefail #tiktokparent #viralvideos #fyp

Commenters had a field day, and most agreed: Kids "these days" don't know how to play outside.

"Bro when I was that age me and my sista be seeing who can swing the highest and jump off the swing on our feet"

"They would ratha watch other kids playing from there devices"

"Kids these days won't know the struggles we been through since the 80s - 90s kids been through with no phones, gaming pc, iPhone, Samsung, tablets, Facebook, tiktok, YouTube & Instagram wasn't invented. Even internet was hard to get when we use to have dial-up internet back then."

"Honestly the kids nowadays have no idea how to play outside eh? My kids too 😂🙈 I used to run out the door and never came back til the street lights turned on."

The data backs it up. There's been a shocking decline in often kids play outside in the last couple of decades. One study estimates only 6% of kids aged 9-13 regularly play outside unsupervised.

But is it so simple as to say that phones and tablets have rewired our kid's brains and the fun of playing outside can't keep up with the quick and easy dopamine hits found on screens? That's part of the problem, sure. But did you know that only around 20% of kids walk or bike to school, compared to 70% of parents who did so when they were young? That's not kids' fault, and it's definitely not because they're in their room playing on their iPads. It's because our culture has stoked so much fear in parents that our kids will be kidnapped or hit by a car that we rarely let them out of our sight anymore.

Kids have less unstructured free time than they did in the past, too. Your average kid is enrolled in more sports, clubs, and extracurriculars than ever before. Those are generally good things on their own — these activities challenge them, teach them new skills, and help them make new friends. But it doesn't leave them a lot of time to flex their imagination and invent silly outside games with other kids, and that time is important too.

It's easy to grumble about how kids are obsessed with their devices — and of course, genuinely laugh when dads like Lavea show that their kids barely know how to use a swingset — but change is going to have to start with us parents. The screens aren't going anywhere. Time spent playing outside is so good for a child's mind, body, and soul. We may just have to awkwardly force them into it a little more often, and that might mean pushing our own fears aside, or (the scariest thing of all) putting our own phones down to lead the way, too.

Community

Why following Upworthy on Facebook is so important

It will only take a few seconds of your time but would mean the world to us.

If you're a longtime Upworthy reader, there's a good chance you first found our stories on your Facebook feed. Upworthy was one of the first news websites to write stories with a Facebook audience in mind. For years, Facebook accounted for more than 90 percent of our readership.

However, Facebook has made radical changes to its algorithm that hide stories from people's feeds, even those who follow pages like Upworthy. That change has been devastating for countless publishers, especially independent, small businesses like us.

We've talked to countless people who follow Upworthy on Facebook but who can't find our stories no matter how hard they try. Or, other people who will occasionally see our stories but only days or weeks after a story was first published. That's not great for us or for you as an Upworthy reader.

The good news is that Upworthy has found new ways to thrive beyond Facebook. But that doesn't mean Facebook isn't important to us! With more than 10 million fans, we're one of the larger Facebook pages in the world and proof that people are still passionate for positive news and stories about the best of humanity.

By following us on Facebook and then adding our page as one of our "favorites," you'd be doing us a huge favor. Adding us as a favorite will ensure that Upworthy stories show in your feed and that when you share one of our stories, you're friends are more likely to see it as well. It really would make a world of difference for us.

It will only take a few seconds of your time. First, please go to our page on Facebook. Click on the icon to follow us. Then, click on the icon again to add us as a "favorite." That's it!

Upworthy's Facebook pageUpworthy FacebookUpworthy on Facebook

We're working hard every day to share the best of humanity. We believe there is so much good news out there and so many people doing great things worth celebrating. With your help, we can all make a difference.

Health

Why 'boomer panic' is a real thing, not just generational bashing

There's a heartbreaking reason behind the problem.

What is "boomer panic"?

In a video posted in September 2023, TikToker @myexistentialdread used the phrase “boomer panic” to explain how baby boomers (1946 to 1964) can quickly become unhinged when faced with the most minor problems. It all started when she visited a Lowe’s hardware store and encountered a boomer-aged woman working at the check-out stand.

“I had a dowel that didn’t have a price tag on it, whatever, so I ran back and took a photo of the price tag. And as I was walking back towards her, I was holding up my phone… because I had multiple dowels and that was the one that didn’t have the price tag on it,” she said in the video. “And she looks at me and she goes, ‘I don’t know which one that is,’ and she starts like, panicking.” The TikToker said that the woman was “screechy, panicking for no reason.”

Many people raised by boomers understood what she meant by "boomer panic." "Boomer panic is such a good phrase for this! Minor inconvenience straight to panic," the most popular commenter wrote. And while there was some boomer-bashing in the comments, some younger people tried to explain why the older folks have such a hard time regulating their emotions: “From conversations with my mother, they weren’t allowed to make mistakes and were harshly punished if they did.” The TikToker responded, “A lot of people mentioned this, and it breaks my heart. I think you’re right,” Myexistentialdread responded.

A follow-up video by YourTango Editor Brian Sundholm tried to explain boomer panic in an empathetic way.

“Well, it's likely that there actually was a reason the woman started panicking about a seemingly meaningless problem,” Sundholm said. “Most of us nowadays know the importance of recognizing and feeling our emotions.” Sundholm then quoted therapist Mitzi Bachman, who says that when people bottle up their emotions and refuse to express them, it can result in an "unhinged" reaction.

TikToker Gabi Day shared a similar phenomenon she noticed with her boomer mom; she called the behavior “anxiety-at-you.”

Day’s boomer mother was “reactive,” “nervous,” and “anxious” throughout her childhood. Now, she is still on edge with Day’s children. “She's immediately like gasping and just really like exaggerated physical reactions, and then, of course, that kind of startles my kid,” Day said. “Again, I know that this comes from a place of care. It's just a lot,” she continued.

@itsgabiday

It comes from a place of love but it is exhausting 🫠😬 #millennialmomsoftiktok #boomergrandma #reparenting #gentleparenting

There is a significant difference in emotional intelligence and regulation between how boomers were raised and how younger generations, such as Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Z, were brought up. Boomers grew up when they had to bottle up their feelings to show their resilience. This can lead to growing anger, frustration with situations and people, chronic stress, and anxiety—all conditions that can lead to panicky, unhinged behavior.

Ultimately, Sundholm says that we should sympathize with boomers who have difficulty regulating their emotions and see it as an example of the great strides subsequent generations have made in managing their mental health. “It may seem a little harsh to call something "boomer panic," but in the context of how many of them were raised, it makes a lot of sense,” Sundholm says. “It also underlines the importance of emotional regulation skills and teaching them to future generations. And maybe most important, having compassion for those who never had a chance to learn them.”

History (Education)

Victorian woman shares what it was like to own a business for women in the 1800s

"No lady worked in those days. It was only a companion or a teacher."

Victorian business woman reveals what it was like in 1800s

Have you ever wondered what it was like to live in the Victorian Era? Not just wondering about the lack of technology like cell phones, air conditioner and antiperspirant but the daily life that included social norms that would be outrageous by today's standards.

There aren't any people alive today that could tell you what life was like for a woman in the 1800s. The best resources we have on life back then are oral histories repeated throughout families, first hand accounts written in journals or things documented for historians. Few videos exploring the themes of Victorian life from people old enough to have participated exist but Mrs. Florence Pannel sat down with a journalist in 1977 when she was 108-years-old to share her experience.

Mrs. Pannel wasn't just your average Victorian woman, she was someone that challenged the status quo of the time period. Instead of focusing on being a homemaker or school teacher, the woman decided business was her calling in a time where women owning businesses was unheard of. Having your ankles exposed outside of the privacy of your own home was also unheard of so the societal opinions were stacked against the young entrepreneur.

Angry Fed Up GIFGiphy

It seems that when Mrs. Pannel was younger she had a hefty dose of moxie it didn't matter what the social norms were, she was opening her own business and nobody was going to stop her.

"No lady worked in those days. It was only a companion or a teacher. She could be a hospital nurse but not private," Mrs. Pannel tells the journalist further explaining, "for women it was shockingly difficult."

The woman shares through recounting a story that women were expected to to get married and have children whether they wanted to or not. If they didn't marry they'd be considered an old maid left to live and die alone. Mrs. Pannel says these were some of the details gleaned from a story in magazine of a very young girl and the her mother. Still growing up knowing what was expected of her didn't stop her from pursuing her own business adventure.

Victorian Woman Fashion Accessories Free Stock Photo - Public ...www.publicdomainpictures.net

Women in the UK, where Mrs. Pannel is from, were allowed to open businesses on their own in 1870 when the The Married Women’s Property Act is passed. This allowed married women to legally own their own money, property, investments and inheritance but it's unclear when this extended to single women. The UK Sex Discrimination Act of 1975 is what gave all women equal standing as men allowing them the same privileges which included opening businesses without a male relative.

Mrs. Pannel was able to start her beauty business without her husband signing off, likely thanks to the Women's Property Act. She ran her shop in Paris and London becoming familiar with all the ins and outs of women's beauty and fashion. She admits that while showing ankle in England may have been scandalous, in Paris a short hemline wouldn't catch a second look.

"In Paris nothing mattered," she exclaims but then recalls a cartoon in Punch Magazine when she was around 10 that showed all the men rubbernecking at a lady showing the top of her ankles while she held her dress up to cross the street.

Mrs. Pannel owned and worked in her own shop for many years before retiring. We may never know what it was like for her to dare to go against the social norm but we sure are glad there were trailblazers like her willing to break the commonly held rules of society to normalize women as business owners.

Sad shelter cat gets a new gig at assisted living facility

Cats like dogs have been domesticated and generally thrive off of human companionship. Some might even venture to say that these animals do best when they feel like they're serving a purpose, even if that purpose is to be the foot warmer at the end of your bed. This centuries worth of domestication is the reason so many pets prefer to live amongst humans but for some, one human just won't do.

George is a 7-year-old white domestic shorthair that once called a senior living facility home but when the home closed down, the cat was out of a job. The staff at the facility that housed George brought him to a local animal shelter where he became depressed fairly quickly. Finding a home for the sad cat wan't going to be an easy feat since on top of him looking visibly depressed, he also has a rather unique look.

Many people would love an all white cat but George looks a little off. One of his ears is folded inward at the base and points forward while the other folds down and points off the the side appearing smaller than average cat ears. Couple that with his mopey face and it's a recipe for a long shelter stay.

Tired Cat GIFGiphy

But Four Footed Friends Animal Shelter in Indiana, Pennsylvania did not plan to let George stay in the shelter longer than needed. They knew the sad kitty didn't need to wait for a family to see the potential beyond his physical flaws because George needed a job. A job where he got to be the center of attention any time he walked into the room so Alex and the people at the animal shelter went on the hunt for another senior care home.

"He was definitely depressed, he was down. We had him in a kennel away from the other cats. He responded every time we walked by he gave us a little meow. He wanted attention. You could just tell he just wasn't happy about his situation," Alex tells Geobeats.

The plan quickly became to get George back to work so the shelter started telling local nursing homes about the furry companion in hopes one of them would give him a chance. After the senior living facilities found out the cat had years of previous experience that allows him to bypass meow-ientation, they were lining up to add George to their staff.

Eventually the shelter chose Forest Hills Personal Care Home and George has made himself at home. To no one's surprise, he's purr-fect at his job.

"He's not a loud cat, he's not a super playful cat, he is a comforting cat. I think that's more his speed. He's a lap cat, he's a cuddle cat and he's the kind of boy that'll be very loyal to you and follow you around. He thrives on being able to be with a lot of people," Alex explains. "He wouldn't have done well in a home with just one or two people."

The residents at the personal care home love him and give him all the attention he could ever possibly need. But once his shift is over, all the elderly residents are sound asleep and the night nurses are counting the minutes before their reprieve arrives, George lets loose. He gets the late night zoomies to get in his cardio before another long day of caring for his residents. It sure is hard being a working cat sometimes but somehow George manages to do it without bending a whisker.