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Dear world: This is what autism really feels like to me.

These are the things people don't tell you about living with autism.

The author, Jack’s mother, wrote this from Jack’s perspective based on conversations and observations of him at the Disney parks and in life.

Dear world,

Last week, my family went to Disney.

My mom and dad picked us all up from school at 12:14 on a Tuesday afternoon. I was in science and I was very surprised when I heard my name on the loudspeaker.

When I got in the car, they told my three brothers and my sister and me that we were going for a flu shot. We were all very mad about that.

Then my parents pulled the car over and said, "Why don’t we go to Disney instead?"

I didn’t know what to think about it. I was happy, but I also like to know about things a long time before they happen so I can think and talk and plan for them.

But this time my mom was all sneaky about it because she hates when I know about trips. I always want to pack my own suitcase full of the things that make me feel calm inside, like my special bunny and my Chapsticks.

Jack and his mom. Photo provided by Carrie Cariello, used with permission.

One time, we argued for two hours because I tried to pack my humidifier for our skiing trip. I kept showing her how it would fit into the suitcase fine as long as it didn’t have any water in it but after a while she shouted, "We are not taking that humidifier, Jack! Stop driving me so crazy!"

We got to Disney around 6:00 at night, and the first thing I did as soon as we got to our hotel was unwrap the soap in the bathroom.

I do this every time we go to a hotel. While everyone else is bouncing on the beds and wheeling the suitcases around, I go quietly into each bathroom and find the soap.

We had dinner in a crowded restaurant. I could tell everyone around me was happy-happy-happy, but I could not stop worrying about school. I was worried about missing something fun like a movie during class, and I kept asking my mother over and over to e-mail my teacher.

There was a man sitting right behind me and he was laughing so hard and weird it sounded like a donkey who had just heard the funniest joke ever.

Then my father ordered something pink and spiny called crab legs, and I could smell their fishy smell and it bothered me.

And there was a woman at the table next to us who was wearing a string of Christmas lights around her neck, and they were blinking on and off and on and off over and over again.

All of a sudden my brain could barely breathe.

It was already 9:23 p.m., and I really like to be in bed by 8:30 p.m., and because of this laughing and the blinking and the smelling I felt like my skin was trying to come off of my face.

I tried doing my newest trick, which is making my fingers dance and twitch in front of me. It makes me feel good, but I can tell it does not make my mom feel good because she leaned over and asked me to stop. She said we should have brought my stress ball, and if I had known about the trip, I would have reminded her a lot of times to pack it.

So I tried to keep my hands very still but I felt like a balloon that was going to pop. I had to do something, so I shouted, "What the f*&%!"

I know these words are bad, but sometimes they feel so good to say. They feel hot and salty on my tongue, and when I shout them, it’s like letting a little bit of air out of the balloon.

Words are very weird for me. If they sound even a little bit different, I have to double-check in my brain before I recognize them.

Like the way my bus driver likes to say, "This is the route home," and she says it like the root on a tree. When I hear her say this, I think of tall, straight trees with soft leaves.

Then one day we had a substitute bus driver and he said, "We’re going to take the same route home," except he didn’t say it like the tree root, he said it like "rowt," so then I had to do my double-checking and figure out what he meant.

In Disney, we went to visit places called parks every day, except they look nothing like regular parks that have slides and stuff.

These places are huge and crowded, and they have music and food and people called characters wandering around in their big silly costumes.

Jack and his family at Disney. Photo provided by Carrie Cariello, used with permission.

The minute we stepped into the park, everyone — especially my brothers and sister — started to be so bossy about me. It was making me really mad.

"Jack! Over here!"

"Where’s Jack?"

"Jack, stay with us!"

Finally I screamed, "Everyone stop BOSSING me!"

Mom took me aside and told me our family just wants to make sure I am safe and that I don’t wander off, but it still didn’t feel very good. I am 11, not a baby.

The ride called Space Mountain was so fun.

My dad took me and my brother Charlie back to the park until late one night, and we rode it all together, and it made me so happy. I could not stop talking about it.

Sometimes I can’t stop thinking or talking about things.

Like that night at dinner, I kept asking and talking about the death penalty because I saw something about it on the television at the airport. Whatever I am thinking about gets big and huge in my mind, and it pushes everything else to the side, like an elephant in a crowded elevator.

My mom got a little mad and said, "Jack! We are in Disney! Please stop talking about the death penalty."

The next day, we went to a place called Epcot, which was totally boring and not as fun as the park called the Magic Kingdom because it was all about learning.

We were in line to go on a ride inside of this big ball that looks just like one of the golf balls my dad keeps in the garage but tells us not to fool with, and I turned to my mom and asked when it was going to snow at home.

The lady in line behind us heard me, and she said, "Oh, you said it! You said that nasty word, snow!"

Jack and his family. Photo provided by Carrie Cariello, used with permission.

I had to do my double-checking because I didn’t think "snow" was was a nasty word. Snow is nice. It is cold and pretty and sometimes we don’t have to go to school if we get a lot of it.

"Snow is not NASTY. You are freaking WRONG."

When I said this to her, the smile disappeared from her face like someone had wiped it away with a sponge. My mom put her arms around my shoulders and turned me away, and then she turned back to the lady and said a few things quietly. I think she was telling them about my autism.

I used to hate when she did this because it made me feel bad.

But my mom tells me a lot that autism is not a secret — it is not something to feel embarrassed or ashamed of because it is as much a part of me as the freckle on my left leg.

World, all day long you flash and dance around me being your funny, stinky, noisy, happy, scary self. You confuse me.

See, I am like a fish inside an aquarium. I want to watch you from behind the glass. I want to stay in my school and eat my regular food and listen to my favorite radio station and go to bed at my normal time. I do not like surprise trips.

I am safe here, in my bubble. Your sounds are muted and hushed, and I can tell the difference between a nasty word and a nice word. I don’t have to listen to your big loud donkey laughs or shut my eyes against your blinking lights.

At Disney, we took something called a shuttle a lot.

My dad was always shouting, "Come on! We’re going to miss the shuttle!" and then when we got to the pick-up place it would have just left like a second ago so we’d stand around and wait another 20 minutes.

One night we were riding the shuttle very late. It was very dark inside, and I was sitting next to my mom and thinking about snow and nice words and nasty words, and then I remembered another word I didn’t know.

"Mom. What does for loner mean?"

"Well, it means, like, to be alone. A person who is alone. Why are you asking? Do you think you’re a loner?"

"Without you. For yes."

"Oh, Jack."

I could not see her face, but I could feel her wearing her sadness on her body like an itchy sweater, the kind she makes us wear for our Christmas picture. I put my head on her shoulder, and then she put her head on my head, and we stayed that way until the shuttle stopped, even though I don’t usually like to touch people for that long.

On our second-to-last day, we had lunch in an African restaurant called Sanaa, where we could look out the window while we ate and watch giraffes and ostriches strolling around.

Our server was a nice smiley man named Boylson. His name tag said he came from Botswana, which is in Africa, and he didn’t get mad when I shouted, "This food makes no SENSE TO ME."

After we were done eating this funny bread called naan and my brothers and sister wandered away from the table to look at the animals, I heard my mother ask Boylson if they had autism in Botswana.

She is not shy, my mom.

Photo via iStock.

"Oh, yes," he smiled at her. It was not a real smile that made his face look happy, but more like he stretched the corners of his mouth. "It is everywhere."

Then she asked about services and evaluations and doctors, and he just looked at her and smiled once more, gentle-like this time.

"You know, there was a boy in our village who could not hear a single sound. Nothing at all. But still, we found a way to talk to him. We loved him."

I was thinking hard about a boy who could not hear a single sound because I think that would be weird and also maybe kind of nice not to have to hear loud donkey laughs, but when I looked at my mother I could tell she wasn’t thinking about that boy at all. I could tell she was thinking about me.

My mom was thinking about always trying to find new ways to talk to me and to hear me and to love me — to nudge me out of my fish tank and into the wide, open world.

She knows I don’t want to be a loner.

I think I know the answer, world.

You and I, we can’t be something or someone we’re not. We can’t change all the way for each other. But this does not mean we won’t be friends.

So I think you should keep being your stinky, funny, loud, busy self. Tell your jokes and laugh your laughs and smell your smells.

I will continue to be myself. I will do my double-checking and try to understand your words and shrink the elephant in my brain so he’s smaller, more like a turtle.

In the meantime, if you happen to notice a boy standing in the airport and his fingers are dancing in front of his eyes, be kind.

Be tender.

I am trying.

From,

Jack

From Your Site Articles
Pop Culture

Mom leaves a 'heartbreaking' gift to flight passengers sitting next to her baby

"That's a mom trying so hard."

@callmebelly/TikTok

An excellent reminder to show kindness and patience.

Listening to a baby cry during a flight might be aggravating, but it’s nothing compared to the moans, groans, and eyerolls that the baby's parents must endure from other passengers when it happens. No matter what tips and tricks are used to try to soothe a little one’s temperament while 30,000 miles in the air, crying is almost inevitable. So, while having to ease their own child’s anxiety, moms and dads also must suffer being the pariah of the trip. What a nightmare.

Recently, one mom was apparently trying so hard to avoid upsetting her fellow flight members that she went above and beyond to essentially apologize ahead of time if her baby began to cry on its first flight. It was a gesture that, while thoughtful, had folks really feeling for how stressed that poor mom must be.

In a clip posted to his TikTok, one of the passengers—Elliot—explained that the mom handed out small care packages to those nearby.

“She’s already so busy and took the time to make these bags for everyone,” Elliot said, before panning the camera to reveal a Ziplock bag full of candy, along with a note that made him “want to cry.”

The note read: “It’s my first flight. I made a deal to be on my best behaviour—but I can’t make any guarantees. I might cry if I get scared or if my ears start to hurt. Here are some treats to make your flight enjoyable. Thank you for being patient with us. Have a great flight.”

@callmebelly♬ BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eilish

Like Elliot, those who watched the video felt some ambivalence at the well intentioned act. Many felt remorse that she would feel the need to appease people in this way.

“This is so sweet but also … kind of breaks my heart that we live in a world in which parents feel the need to do that.”

“Because jerk people have shamed parents into believing that they need to apologize for their kids' absolutely normal behavior. What a gem of a mom.”

“You know that sweet mom worried about this trip so much.”

“That poor mom probably spent nights awake … nervous about that flight, thinking of ways to keep strangers happy.”

"That's a mom trying so hard."

Many rallied behind the mom, arguing that making others feel more comfortable with her child being on board was in no way her responsibility.

“No mom should be apologizing. Adults can control their emotions … babies not …. Hugging this mom from a distance.”

“Dear new parents: no you don’t have to do this. Your babies have the right to exist. We all know babies cry. We know you try your best.”

Luckily, there are just as many stories of fellow passengers being completely compassionate towards parents with small children—from simply choosing to throw on their headphones during a tantrum (instead of throwing one themselves) to going out of their way to comfort a baby (and taking the load of a parent in the process). These little acts of kindness make more of an impact than we probably realize. Perhaps if we incorporated more of this “it takes a village” mindset, flying could be a little bit more pleasant for everyone involved.

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travel
Modern Families

Dad perfectly captures out how an age-old parenting default no longer works, thanks to Alexa

"In a minute?" Yeah, that's not gonna work in 2025.

@amberandjoshofficial/TikTok, Photo credit: Canva

Other parents had no idea this was a "universal experience."

Parenting looks astronomically different than it did when we were kids, and we know one of the major culprits of that is technology. Back in the day, there was no such thing as a “tablet kid,” there wasn’t an app that tracked a kid’s every move, you couldn’t get answers to your burning parenting questions from endless online forms and parent groups. Twas a different time, indeed.

Of course, these modern day conveniences have all kinds of pros and cons attached to them, as one dad, Josh (@amberandjoshofficial) demonstrated in a now-viral video posted to his TikTok. In the video, we see him try—and fail—to use the age-old parenting saying that’s always bought them juuuuust a little more time from demanding kiddos, otherwise known as “just a minute.”

That is, until now. Turns out, in the age of Alexa, “just a minute” doesn’t cut it. Because kids can and will be using that robot against you, just like his own daughter did. Poor Josh was just trying to finish washing the dishes before getting the glass of milk she requested. But unfortunately for him, as soon as he replied with “just a minute,” she immediately asked Alexa to “set the timer.” Ruthless.

@amberandjoshofficial Accountability has never been higher! 😬 #marriagehumor #parentinghumor #parentinghacks #familythings #dadtok #parentingmemes #kidsbelike #marriagememes @Amber Lynn Smith @Joshyyred ♬ original sound - Amber and Josh

“Accountability has never been higher," Josh wrote in his caption. And other parents who watched the video couldn’t help but agree.

“I had no idea this was a universal experience 😂”

“No this is literally verbatim my life 😂😂😂”

"Oh so it’s not just our house. It’s relieving and also scary to know we’re not alone 😂”

“Haha this is so accurate. I’ve had the conversation with my kids that it’s a figure of speech – they still do it 😂”

“NOT MY ALEXA RESPONDING WHILE I WATCHED THIS VIDEO”

A few fellow parents chimed in with some lighthearted “tips,” such as explaining that “one minute is more of a vibe than a unit of time,” or swapping it for “one more moment” instead.

Another suggested that he “keep that same energy when they want more time on their game.”

And hey, maybe higher accountability isn’t totally a bad thing. It didn’t exactly instill trust when our parents stretched “just a minute” into eternity, especially when it turned into not actually doing what they said they would.

That's apparently not the only way Alexa has potentially helped parents, either. A study conducted by Kantar for Amazon found that 95% of parents agreed that having Alexa at home has helped reduce screen time, while another 90% felt Alexa helped their kids stay mentally active, learn new things, and become more independent. As with all technology, it can be easy to develop too much of a reliance on this gadget, but (when used responsibly) there are some definitive perks, it seems.

So there you have it, folks. Let’s just chalk it up to being more thing that’s a relic of a bygone era. But hey, change is the only constant, right?

By the way, Josh and his wife Amber have even more wholesome and fun family content where that came from on their TikTok. Check it out here.

From Your Site Articles
humor
Joy

Adorable Golden Retriever absolutely loses it when he runs into his vet at a bar

No one has ever been this excited to see their doctor.

@cosmo_andtheoddparents/TikTok

He wuvs his vet.

Not every dog might jump with joy after seeing their vet out in public. But for Cosmo the Golden Retriever, it was practically Christmas all over again when he spotted his own vet, Dr. Jones, at a brewery.

In an adorable clip posted to TikTok, we see Cosmo in pure, unadulterated bliss as he snuggles with an equally happy Dr. Jones, who, considering he’s still in his scrubs, might have just gotten out of work to grab a quick pint.

Watch:

@cosmo_andtheoddparents When you run into your vet in public #goldenretrieversoftiktok #vetlife #animallovers #petparents #goldenretriever #goldenretrievers #doglife #dogmom #dailyfluff #charlestondogs #doglover #charlestondog #brewerydog ♬ original sound - Cosmo

Ugh, the cuteness is too much to handle! People in the comments could barely contain their secondhand joy.

“He looked over like, “Mom, do you see who this is?” one person wrote, while another said, “What in the Hallmark movie? Adorable!!”

One person even joked, “Did we all check the vet’s hand for a wedding ring? (Said as a married woman. Looking out for you all, or something.)”

According to Hannah Dweikat, Cosmo’s owner, the two actually share quite a history. She tells Upworthy that when Cosmo was but a wee pup, he “gave a scare” after eating a Sago Palm seed, which are highly toxic to dogs, from a plant in their backyard, which of course resulted in him being rushed to the animal hospital and staying there over the weekend.

While that’s every pet owner’s worst nightmare, and certainly a scary situation for the poor fur baby, Dweikat says that “the calm and patient demeanor” of Dr. Jones and his staff put Cosmo at ease. And because of this, “Cosmo has always loved going to see his friends—especially because they give him lots of treats and snuggles.”

Cosmo and Dr. Jones’ buddyship has also blossomed thanks to proximity, as Dweikat only lives down the street from the clinic. “Which means we get to see Dr. Jones and his staff out in public at times and Cosmo takes every chance he can get to say hi,” she explains. This time, however, she was able to capture it all on video. Yay for us!

What makes a good vet?

While not every vet, however gifted, will be able to elicit this type of reaction from their patients, having a calming presence like Dr. Jones is certainly a good sign for pet owners to be on the lookout for when shopping around for their own vet. But that’s not the only quality a good vet needs. According to Saint Matthews University, a vet also needs to have high stamina (both physically and mentally), as well as an ability to tolerate unpleasant situations (you can’t faint at the sight of blood or vomit), a high level of emotional intelligence (maybe all doctors should possess this skill, but especially those who work with animals), adaptability, a sense of enthusiasm, and finally, excellent communication skills.

Dr. Jones seems to have these attributes in spades, and his patients clearly love him for it. None so much as Cosmo, obviously.

By the way, if you’re in need of even more content featuring this precious pup, you can follow Cosmo on both TikTok and Instagram.

From Your Site Articles
dogs
Identity

‘Genital verification’? Funny troll mocks anti-trans bathroom laws with Dallas airport signs.

People were shocked in the men's room.

via Imgur and Amanda Steggell/Flickr

A curious sign in the Dallas-Forth Worth International Airport.

A brilliant LGBTQ rights advocate in Texas found a clever way to skewer the state’s anti-trans politicians by creating a fake sign stating that the state government was verifying people’s genitals through AI. The signs were posted in bathrooms at the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport. The prank was a great way to show travelers that when trans rights are under fire, everyone's rights are, too.

The signs look precisely like a government warning and infer that the toilet's flushing sensor holds some device to photograph bathroom user’s genitals. Taking pictures of someone’s genitals is a massive violation of people’s privacy, but if the state wants to monitor if trans people are using the bathroom, how else could it tell?

Great troll, phone number is for the Lt. Governor’s office


The prank warning sign has a phone number for people to call to have their photos removed from the database, and it goes to Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick's office. Back in 2016 and 2017, Patrick pushed for a law that would limit transgender people's ability to use the bathroom that matches their identity.

Here's what the prank sign reads:

Electronic Genital Verification (EGV)

Your genitalia may be photographed electronically during your use of this facility as part of the Electronic Genital Verification (EGV) pilot program at the direction of the Office of the Lieutenant Governor. In the future, EGV will help keep Texans safe while protecting your privacy by screening for potentially improper restroom access using machine vision and Artificial Intelligence (AI) in lieu of traditional genital inspections.

At this time, images collected will be used solely for model training purposes and will not be used for law enforcement or shared with entities except as pursuant to a subpoena, court order or as otherwise compelled by a legal process.
Your participation in this program is voluntary.

You have the right to request removal of your data by calling the EGV program office at (512) 463-0001 during normal operating hours (Mon-Fri 8AM-5PM).

Michael Dear, a security camera expert, posted about encountering one of the signs at the airport.


The prank even caught the attention of the DFW airport. “This is not a DFW-produced or authorized sign, and we have no information about its origins,” DFW media relations manager Cynthia Vega told Snopes. “However, we are investigating to ensure that none is posted, and we will remove any unauthorized signs if found.”

The idea of the government inspecting its citizen's genitals seems outlandish and totalitarian. However, a bill that made it through the Ohio State House of Representatives in June 2022 calls for just that. The bill would have required high school athletes to prove their gender by submitting to intrusive inspections of their genitalia and other invasive tests. Although the bill was never signed into law, it begs the question: What poses a more significant threat to high schoolers, transgender female athletes (less than 100 people nationwide), or statewide government genital inspections?

Sometimes, the best way to expose hysteria is not to shout back even louder but to encourage everyone to laugh at it. Kudos to the creator of the genital verification prank for using humor to make an essential point about privacy.

From Your Site Articles
lgbtq rights
Music

Impassioned plea to 'bring back key changes' has us swimming in 80s and 90s music nostalgia

You can't help but raise your finger to the sky in these songs.

Image credits: Public domain (left) Zoran Veselinovic (right)

There's nothing like a power key change to take a song to the next level.

Music affects us emotionally and psychologically in so many ways. A minor key can make us sad and wistful, a dissonant chord can trigger fear, and a joyful, jaunty tune can pull us out of a funk. But a musical device that used to be a staple in pop music has largely fallen by the wayside, much to the dismay of everyone who's ever raised a finger to the sky when Whitney Houston belted out, "Don't…make…me…CLOOOOSE one more doooor."

That's right. The power key change. Bon Jovi did it in "Livin' on a Prayer," Michael Jackson in "Man in the Mirror," and Celine Dion in "My Heart Will Go On." Taking a verse or a chorus up a notch by modulating the key was a way for pop stars to give their songs extra oomph for decades. We loved it because it made us feel things. And some of us are realizing just how much we miss the chills and thrills those modulations gave us.

Self-proclaimed "geriatric millennial" Chrissy Allen posted an impassioned plea to "bring back key changes" with examples from popular songs of the 80s and 90s, and it's resonating with those who remember.

Her movements are so familiar and people in the comments felt it in their bones.

"Ah yes! The classic last chorus modulation (or if you're Michael Jackson, like 8x). Expected and unexpected all at once."

"Key changes make you feel like life is worth it, the future is bright and nothing is going to stop your fearless heart! Such a dopamine boost 🔥 Other songs can't compete with that."

"This is pure dopamine. Like, just the good stuff, all lean no fat, pharmaceutical grade brain chemicals. 🤌🏽"

"If there is no key change, when do they stand up from their stool?"

"And the beat dropping WITH the key change is the *chef’s kiss*"

"Total goosebumps the whole time."

For real, though. Watch Whitney pull this key change out of her hat and see if it doesn't give you goosebumps.

Whitney Houston's key change in "I Have Nothing" is legendary.youtu.be

It's not that nobody does the key change anymore, but it's definitely fallen out of favor. As Chris Dalla Riva writes in Tedium, "The act of shifting a song’s key up either a half step or a whole step (i.e. one or two notes on the keyboard) near the end of the song, was the most popular key change for decades. In fact, 52 percent of key changes found in number one hits between 1958 and 1990 employ this change. You can hear it on “My Girl,” “I Wanna Dance With Somebody,” and “Livin’ on a Prayer,” among many others."

But something happened in the 90s that shifted musicians away from key changes. The rise of Hip-Hop music, which Riva explains "focuses more on rhythms and lyricism than on melody and harmony," was one change. Another was the way music is written, recorded, and produced. Computer programs have fundamentally changed the way music is made, and those changes don't lend themselves to changing a key mid-song.

Riva gives an example:

"Imagine that I’m Sting and I sit down to write a song in the early ’80s for my group The Police. While composing, it’s likely that I’ll work linearly. What this means is I’ll write section-by-section. First, I’ll write a verse, then a chorus, then another verse, and so on. One way to create intrigue as I get to a new section is to change something. Maybe the lyrics. Maybe the melody. Or maybe the key.

"Every Breath You Take" changes key at the bridge.youtu.be

On “Every Breath You Take,” Sting does the third. Most of the song is built around a laid back groove in Ab major, but then on the bridge, the energy kicks up as the song shifts to the key of B major. Because songwriters in the pre-digital age were writing linearly, shifting the key in a new section was a natural compositional technique.

"But in the computer age, this linear style doesn’t make as much sense." Riva explains that "digital recording software generally encourages a vertical rather than linear songwriting approach."

Some people say the key change is for singers who can actually sing as they lament the popularity of autotune technology. But there are some genuinely incredible singers in this day and age. We cannot live in the era of Kelly Clarkson and Pink and Ariana Grande and complain about a loss of singing ability. Maybe those pop divas will join the movement to bring key changes back in full force. We need those dopamine hits now more than ever.

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